Hi, everyone! If you're reading this, I hope your day is going well. 😊 Just wanted to take a moment to let everyone know that I do try to respond to every single comment (that isn't clearly negative) as quickly as possible! If, for some reason, you've commented on this video (or any other video) and I don't reply to you, it's just because I missed your comment somehow. Sometimes the TH-cam Studio doesn't show me all of the comments I receive, for some reason? But if I happen to miss your comment, please know that I'm still incredibly grateful for the fact that you took the time to contribute to the conversations happening down here in the comment section! On the other hand, I do try to delete all negative, hateful comments. Please note that I'm not talking about constructive criticism or genuine confusion/questions from people who may perhaps be uninformed; I welcome such comments! But if the comment is insulting or demeaning or belittling or antagonistic, I'm gonna delete it. It's really important to me that trans/nonbinary/questioning people have a place to engage in dialogue and ask questions without being attacked or having their very identity called into question, so I try my best to remove such comments as quickly as possible. However, just like I miss positive comments sometimes and I fail to respond to them, I miss negative comments sometimes and I fail to remove them. I do sincerely apologize if anyone is hurt by any negative comments that happen to slip through, but I also hope that you'll be encouraged, reassured, and validated by all of the positive comments!! 💚💚💚
I do love curiosity! 😊 But also, I'm glad that you're not having a crisis! Questioning, exploring, and discovering your gender identity can be a really difficult and trying time, so I'm glad to hear that it's going well for you. 💚
bless my mom's soul for giving me a gender neutral name she did this with my sibling too when i told her i was non binary and wanted to go by they/them she was all "i knew this would happen, i support you no matter what" but i still might need to refresh her on the uptake cause i kept my hair long after that and she went back to using she/her, but bless her heart she is trying her best!
When I was born I was female and my name was Juliet. My parents always supported LGBTQ, and even though they were very religious if I came out like something from the LGBTQ category than they would support me. When I was eleven I pretended to be a guy on Omegle. It was really fun and it was nice to have some girls talk to me and stupid guys skip me. I started dressing differently and used this video. I came out and I'm grateful I have an accepting family! I'm glad to say I am Robin! -A non-binary demigirl
@@poppycatz when i commented that i was still a demigirl trying to figure out whether i was non-binary or not and i was shocked cuz i didn’t know you could be both but now i’m just non-binary
Me: being confused about my gender Her: Go shoe shopping Me: Realizing that I always lean towards men's shoes and that I've always wanted to be male when I was younger *I think I'm on to something*
I’ve been having a weird time figuring out my gender identity, but this video felt like a reassuring hand on my back telling me that it’s going to be ok
I'm so glad!! Figuring out your gender can definitely be a difficult process, but you've got this. You've got millions of people around the world supporting you and rooting for you, no matter what conclusion you reach.
I'm really confused because I'm afab and I know I'm not a guy but I'm unsure if I'm just a cis girl who's uncomfortable with who they are or if I may be non binary I've only been questioning for about two months now so I know I have plenty of time to figure but I still just wish I could understand my head and gender
I totally get that. When I first started questioning, I thought that I was just uncomfortable with the assumptions that were made of me because people saw me as male; it took me quite a while that I was uncomfortable with being perceived as male altogether. I think the key in a situation like yours is to identify exactly what it is that makes you uncomfortable and why, especially figuring out if it's your assigned gender that you're uncomfortable with or the assumptions and stereotypes that are placed on you because of your assigned gender. Hope that helps!
@@arysn0w Here, you've backed my point I made a few minutes ago. If its the stereotypes and inequality of this between the two genders. Your community should be pointing out this, correcting people. Men can wear wigs. Dresses. Makeup. They can play Volleyball and do makeovers. Hell, I've had my nails painted! You shouldn't come up with things to contradict because you fear these steroetypes.
There are masculine women, there are feminine men, and there are also nonbinary people who can be masculine, feminine, or whatever else. Nonbinary people don't exist because of a fear of stereotypes. Nonbinary people exist because there are people who are nonbinary.
@@arysn0w Yet not all psychologists point to it. Rather its many psychologists who claim to be nonbinary, who are in support of it? Coincidence? I think not. You even said in your image you became uncomfortable because of the stereotypes with your gender. If we solve, and rid these stereotypes which are a clear problem. People in your predicament won't have that issue any more.
I'm pretty late but I really love the name Sage, I dunno why, I just do. My name is too feminine and I don't really like it. Noodles sound like a really cool name lol.
@@whiterabbit038 Thanks so much. I agree sage is also Awesome. Just choose a name that feels right to you and dont worry if it takes some time. We are here for you
For a long time now, I’ve been struggling to find labels that fit me. Seeing as how I am still young and going through changes, it’s hard to keep up with what I want to label myself as (this goes for gender identity, sexual attraction, and romantic attraction). I watched this video after thinking through the labels I currently have. Thanks to you, I am more confident than ever that I am Nonbinary! I have always felt excluded from gender groups/roles. Even as a small child I would dress in princess outfits, but love to play with toy cars and horse play with the boys. It wasn’t until I got a little older that I was being forced into a gendered box of femininity that made me hate anything feminine. I hated skirts, makeup, dresses, pink, and anything that was typically assigned towards females. I hit a bump where I thought I was Agender, then I thought I was a Trans male. After a while, neither of those titles fit me and I was lost. I was confused because I wanted to dye my hair, wear nail polish, wear crop tops, and other typically feminine things. But I also wanted to get tattoos, piercings, wear traditionally masculine things. I wanted to be seen as masculine, but not male. I decided to go with the term Nonbinary, but after a while of people saying that I present too masculine to be Nonbinary or that it wasn’t a real thing, that I was “confused,” I started to seriously doubt myself. After searching for a long time, watching many videos (such as this one), reading articles, and just asking friends in the LGBT community, I’ve come to the conclusion that I identify as Nonbinary. I am not male or female. I am my own person and no one can tell me I’m not. I know in my heart that what I am feeling is true. Even if my label changes over time, I will still have this part of myself to look back at. I am me and that’s all I need. Thank you for this video!💚 (Sorry for any typos or grammar mistakes!)
I'm so happy to hear that this video was helpful to you!! Thank you for taking time out of your day to let me know that; it really does mean a lot to me. 😊💚
This comment really got to me. Your journey is nearly identical to mine and I'm still continuing to have doubts about gender identity and such and whether I'm "faking it" but seeing someone that is non-binary and experienced the same things I have really makes me feel more confident about my identity. Thank you for sharing your story.
@@the_archives597 I have also had the same thing were I never questioned my gender till I hit around 16. I now identify as non-binary but, I kept thinking well am I faking it am I just seeing all these trans people and wanting to be like them, idk. I have had the same thing were I did everything a young boy and a young girl would do and as I got older I was being pushed into his girl world that I hated. so I tried to dress masculine and act more like a guy but then I realized I started To really liked girl things more and my brain keeps switching from I really like this style that is more masculine and this style thats super feminine but I didn't want to be seen as a girl I want to be seen as nothing or as a boy. I thought maybe I could be a trans boy but it didn't feel right either and I know my parents would hate that. I tried being gender fluid to see what I liked more but it didn't help, my trans friend would ask me what my pronouns were and I would say I don't know you pick which didn't work for me. So later I tried gender fluid again this time more organized and I was going to go threw and say I'm they/them then I would go a week as she/her or he/him but I didn't even get that far before I realized I'm just non-binary and turns out when I said that I felt more relaxed but also stressed because now I have to try and come out again but this time with my gender. plus the thing they said in the video to refer to yourself in the 3rd person I tried it and I thought I liked to be called he/him or they/them but turns out I like Thay/them way more.
It can be nice to have that kind of reassurance sometimes! (Or maybe you just wanted to watch it for fun. Either way, I hope you got something out of it!)
I'm closeted because the one time i tried to come out to my trans friends they got mad at me :( However to make myself feel better I put green hearts in my bio 💚💚💚!!
So.... I came out to my friends yesterday and I’m Sam now and I’m just so happy, and my friend is going to try to get me a binder and my heart is fluttering
@@addiegreer2328 I hope you're able to come out relatively soon! And when you do, I hope you're surrounded by people who love and support you wholeheartedly. 💚💚💚
I've been questioning for 7 years.. back and forth between butch lesbian and trans man and just recently, probably around the time this video came out I accepted that it's ok to be in between. Up until then I had thought it was fake because "everyone feels like that, that's normal" but no, my experiences are not universal lol. Thank you for making this video though. We receive a lot of shit and we need positive voices like yours in our community.
Ooh, what music are you going with? I feel like my current identity crisis demands indie/folksy music (despite the fact that I'm usually a pop/EDM kinda girl)
With the thought of tip 9, look for signs, the fact that Alex is the first name that was said and that's me... and it's usually listed in this context... lmao hmmm
Thanks!! I could never do it myself, though; I'm quite thankful for hairdressers and the incredible work they do. And you're welcome! I hope they were helpful.
this video was so helpful. i feel so much more relaxed about my gender identity now because you make it seem so chill and comfortable. i was born a girl, and i never really quite felt like i was a girl. i haven’t ever been really distressed about it, but it’s just something that has always lingered throughout my childhood til now (i’m 17). sometimes in my head i’ll think about myself using the pronoun ‘he’ and it felt cool but still not quite right, much like how i feel about the pronoun ‘she’. then when i think about myself as ‘they’ it just feels a lot warmer and safer, like i feel less constricted for whatever reason. from now on i think i’m going to try to go by they/them pronouns, just to see how it feels. i don’t imagine myself getting too distraught over people using she/her pronouns when they refer to me, but i dunno. i think as long as i settle with myself that i’m free to wiggle around throughout the gender spectrum then i don’t think it really matters. forgot to add a few of these bad boys also -> 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚
shukezi this is exactly how I feel too! any pronouns work for me, but at the same time I feel like I want to just redefine what a woman is, and yet I feel so freed by identifying as nonbinary!
Thank you for this comment! I’m questioning, but felt like i could be faking it because it just feels uncomfortable/wrong being called she/her a lot of the time instead of feeling really intense dysphoria. It nice to know there is someone out there that might feel the same.
This really helped me! Sometimes it makes it harder when people say we’re not real, or you’re one or the other just accept it. It forms doubts about my authenticity, but when someone labels me non-binary, it feels really good. Also when you mentioned you’re spirituality, I was like same! Before and after these feelings about my identity, I noticed more butterflies passing by me which I’ve read about symbolizing change. Thank you!
I'm really glad to hear that! Many of us really are so entrenched in the gender binary that it's hard to accept that there are more than two gender options. That being said, nonbinary people are becoming more and more visible thanks to the Internet and an increase in support, so maybe one day, it'll be that much easier for people to come out and be who they are. Also, it's cool that you've been noticing butterflies! For me, it was dragonflies. :)
Epically Curious yes! I hope one day more people will open their minds and hearts to everyone’s differences. That’s cool how you’ve been seeing dragonflies!
I'm very confused. I thought I might be genderfluid, but whenever I feel more like a 'girl' I feel the exact same dysphoria as when I feel like a boy or something else. I think I might be nonbinary, but I'm still doubting myself a lot. And it's also not helpful that where I live we have no genderneutral pronouns and everything is pretty gendered. (I'm dutch) You either have a 'vriend' (which means a friend who is a boy) or a 'vriendin' (which is a girl) but no genderneutral term. So I can't experiment with words. I hope I'll figure it out one day, thank you for the tips 💚💚💚
Genderfluid is a nonbinary identity because it doesn’t fit the male/female binary, so you can be genderfluid and nonbinary! I sure am, most days I feel pretty androgynous and ‘meh’ about my body, other days I am okay with being a woman and some days I straight up wish I was a dad
I found a website that might help you with genderneutral words/pronouns! nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Gender_neutral_language_in_Dutch It’s the non-binary wiki and has several Dutch genderneutral terms :)
@@jordanjames4090 Yeah, I know, that's why I'm figuring out what it is. I've never been a girl and never will, I've always been what I am. And nothing about your statement is correct, because I'm definitely not little.
@@jordanjames4090 I don't care whether you believe me or not. I know myself, and I know my gender. And even if it's body dysmorphia, which it isn't, but just to imagine; Why do you care? You don't care about me or my wellbeing, clearly. If I feel comfortable like this, even if it's a delusion, why does it matter? I'm not hurting anyone. From your transphobic point of view 'I'm hurting my body'. But whatever it is that I'm feeling that I call dysphoria and you dysmorphia, it's much worse than anything I can do to myself.
You say you... Non-binnery? What nonbiney?? Nonby not real. You make nonby up. Only 2 gender: -cool ranch -nacho Can't _identify_ as Norbert. That don't make sense. No one's just born nanabanana!!! You're not Nickelback...
My friend just came out as non binary and I'm just here to learn about being non binary so I can be as respectful an helpful to them as much as possible
5:39 i rly rly believe that too bc i've been questioning my gender recently and im like 90% sure i'm nonbinary but it's rly hard and just a few days ago when i was doubting myself and was thinking about how im mostly uncomfy with being a girl i was scrolling on tiktok and the very first video that popped up on my fyp was of a woman saying how "if it doesn't feel right, then it isn't" and i started crying bc everything in the video everything she was saying comforted and reassured me so much it was exactly what i needed in that moment
That's such an incredible sign! I'm so glad you had that experience. 😊 And thank you so much!! But...don't be sad! In all honesty, I'm always down to make new friends. 💚💚
I just came out as non binary on New Year's Eve. I'm now Keir and use they/them/their. I am so happy and confident with myself now. Just within the span of 2 days, it's affected me so much in a positive way. Much love from me
I loved the one about the scenarios in which there was a non binary option. Oh my, I would so choose that! Plus, when my family played men vs women, i was ALWAYS the mediator. Oh my, i'm so non binary
Not me over here watching this video trying least things and sobbing because it feels, well it just feels right. I've been questioning my general identity for so long and its really frustrating but this, I don't know it just made me really happy because it feels like me. Thank you
I cried when I talked to myself in my head and used they them pronouns. It felt so amazing! 💛⚪️💜🖤 Edit: Also does anyone have some good gender neutral names? If I decide I 100% no doubt in my mind at non-binary I won’t want to go by my name. (It’s pretty feminine) I like Emerson because it seems pretty close to my name now and won’t be to drastic of a change, but I wanted to see if anyone had some good options. 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚
Ahhh, I'm so happy for you!! 💚💚 Also, Emerson is a really cool name! Some of the gender neutral names that come to my head are Skylar, Riley, Avery, Cameron, Salem, Aaron/Erin, Ash, Lee, Corey, Dani/Danny, Jesse/Jessie, Spencer, Max, Alex, Harper, Billie, Jean, Jordan, Taylor, and Grayson. (Also, I asked my girlfriend and she added Sam, Casey, May, Toni/Tony, and Jo.) Hope that helps!!
Kookie• Pastel I like the name Michelle. It's mostly feminine in English speaking countries, but masculine in many parts of Eurupe. Morgan is almost exclusively masculine in scandinavia, but more feminine in America.
It's okay to be confused! There's absolutely no rush to figure everything out. That being said, I think you're definitely on the right track to figuring things out! Experimenting with pronouns is a great way to figure out who you are and how you want people to see you.
I've been out as agender and under the non-binary umbrella for awhile, I came out in February as under the non-binary umbrella, and came out a few months ago as agender! Also loved this video! Thank you for making this!
Maaan, when I was younger and I thought I was aromantic, I found myself just constantly going "can i be genderless 😐" Then I turn out to be an asexual lesbian (and my sapphic love is the one thing that led me to embrace my femininity), but I ended up having a best friend for YEARS who was not supportive at ALL of nb peeps, so yeehaw I got forced into denial... when I cut her out of my life during quarantine, seemingly out of nowhere the gender questioning hit like a truck... but after talking it out with supportive trans and nonbinary friends, I felt so liberated when I realized, and am now freely, more comfortably than ever living my truth! Hi!! My name is Sammie-Chris, she/they, and I'm a nonbinary ace lesbian!! Thank you so much for your kind and helpful video, as I see all the comments of all the people it's guided! Let's all be true to ourselves and help each other live our happiest, freest lives And yes, I, too, am a firm believer in The Universe :) 💚
This is an amazing story Sammie-Chris! Thank you for sharing 💛 I’m so glad I’m not the only one that quarantine hit with the gender-questioning truck, that came out of NOWHERE for me and it’s been so liberating
@@radicalcreasy9877 I'm so happy for you and glad we share that bit of unity!! Welcome to the family 🤗 Oh, and I thought I should share with you this quote that I found: "Freedom is found when we let go of who we're supposed to be and embrace who we are."
Thank you so much for making this video. For most of my life, I believed that I was a cisgender male and nothing else, however I recently started questioning my gender due to the fact that I love to crossdress and really like the idea of being a girl. While I'm not quite sure what my gender identity is as of yet, I have feeling that I'm either a transgender girl or have a non-binary identity. I'm really hoping that the amazing tips that you provided in this video for finding one's true gender identity will ultimately help me and everyone else out there who is questioning their gender find out what their true gender identity is.
This video is extremely helpful, ty! The signs of the universe thing is not my thing though, as I’m an atheist. I think it’s more like you are interpreting random things to fit what you feel like, so it might not be completely useless, just know that there’s nothing magical about it, it’s just your mind interpreting stuff into things that aren’t there, like a message from your subconscious
I'm glad the video helped you! And it's totally okay that it's not your thing! Personally, I've had too many experiences with receiving signs and observing synchronicities and whatnot for me to not believe in that sort of thing, but I completely understand where you're coming from and I respect it.
I am late diganosised autistic. In all my research on autism i came acrossed lots of conversations about gender. I had a convo with my husband - hey i guess when i think about it i don't really see myself as a girl. I just know im perceived as one and the more feminine i dress the better im treated. I thought about demi girl as something that may discribe me. And i guess i opened up pandoras box. I think it was in the back of my mind the whole time. I went to pride and was so drawn to the non binary stickers but told myself that the label didn't fit, They werent for me. A couple of weeks later im having a full on gender crisis. Feeling really good with male gendered language and dressing androgynous, bur having many meltdowns and full days of depression about it. Its confusing. I know nobody figures it out overnight. But thank you for the video. It really helps people who are starting out on this journey
I'm honored that I'm able to help you at this stage of your journey!! And if I may offer an additional piece of advice, allowing yourself to have fun with your exploration is an absolute game-changer. Questioning yourself and your identity can be absolutely terrifying, but I've found that allowing myself a bit of levity and playfulness has been incredibly helpful in terms of mitigating the meltdowns, crises, etc. Also, I'm still figuring myself out, so you are definitely not alone in this process!! 💕🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
I've been spending some time trying to figure out my gender identity. Watching your video was part of my research and I just want to say it helped. I haven't finished searching for what feels right for me, but it was comforting to hear that encouragement. Thanks for cheering on people like me who are still discovering ourselves.
I'm so glad that this video was encouraging!! 😊 But yeah, it can take some time to figure everything out! I'm actually still figuring myself out; I came out a year and a half ago, but every time I think I've got a grasp on things, I discover a new facet of myself that raises new questions. So here's to both of us finding the answers we seek! 💚
@@arysn0w It's such a great feeling, taking the time to learn about myself it's like I'm connecting with myself in a way I never have before. It's wonderful. Thank you so much and best of wishes to you too in your journey!
BittenByFire I feel this! I’ve always been uncomfortable with the in-between, but I’m realizing it can be SO liberating to just be who I am without boundaries. Didn’t really realize how many internalized boundaries I had around myself until I started breaking them down.
@@radicalcreasy9877 Ohh I really like how you phrased that! Breaking down boundaries in yourself is a nice way to think of it. That's definitely how I've been feeling too! It is very freeing! :)
You seem like such a genuine and sweet person. Thank you for making this video. I'm quite sure I'm slightly on the transfeminine side of non-binary, but I'm definitely going to try the exercise you suggested of drawing my ideal version of myself. 😊
To be honest right now I have really big problems with my sexuality and gender, because I just feel bad that I am doing something wrong, because I still can end up being heterosexual female and It is scary. It is scary that I am closeted but take myself as pansexual and genderfluid. But if it will change I feel that everybody who is telling me that lgbtq+ is a phase were right, like im giving them the green to believe they are right in everybody. Even though that every person is unique. I just dont know how to feel about this mess and about the future with my gender and sexuality. It feels good to say it "out loud" finally
If I'm understanding you correctly, I think it's important to remember that gender and sexuality can be fluid! If you question your sexuality and your gender and it turns out that you're cisgender and heterosexual, that's still okay! I completely understand your desire not to come out just yet, though; when I was trying to figure out whether I was a binary trans person or a nonbinary trans person, I made a conscious decision not to talk to my family about it because I wanted to be more sure about who I was before I came out. That being said, I'm glad it feels good to express yourself "out loud!"
Hi, recently I've found out that I'm Pan, that's for sure. But lately I've been feeling like I'm non-binary, instead of a girl, but now I'm really confused on whether non-binary people can be more masculine or feminine, and I do have a nonbinary friend, but I'm too afraid to ask them about this and....i just need some help figuring out my gender identity I guess. {Edit} I think I might be a nonbinary demi girl, because I am very feminine, but do feel a little gender dysphoria.
Nonbinary people can totally be more masculine or feminine! The only requirement for being nonbinary is that you don't totally, 100% identify with being male or female. And while there's still some debate about whether or not you need dysphoria to be trans/nonbinary, I *personally* think that having gender dysphoria is a surefire sign that you might be. Sounds like "demigirl" might be a good fit! 😊
Epically Curious This is so helpful! I feel like I’m somewhere in between female and nonbinary and it flip flops (I’m genderfluid), but I often feel like I’m not nonbinary ‘enough’ because I’ve been okay with womanhood for 18 years and suddenly I want to bind and change my name because I fundamentally disagree with the binary.
Same right now im a demigirl and i think it also fits more(im warry feminine) But i feel more comfedebel with the therm non-binary So it may change idk 🏳️🌈 (Also im german so my einglich may be kinda bad)
I had tears In my eyes near the end, I've been questioning myself for a while now and this really helped. I'll probably continue to question myself, just to figure out where I am on the spectrum, but yeah thank you so much for this video 💚
i just wanted to drop a thanks here. i'm here bc for the past year i've been struggling to figure out whether i'm my agab or nonbinary/genderfluid. long story short, when you talked about changing names, i was hit by the feeling of how much i hated my name when i was a kid/teenager, and it made me cry, because i just felt so sad for my child self. i hadn't tied my issues with my name to my issues with gender until now. and then i cried again when you said everything in sign ten. there were other things in this list that resonated with me but i think i needed to hear a nonbinary person validate however i'm feeling, so thank you.
I'm so happy to hear that this video resonated with you! Best of luck on your journey to discover your identity; you've got millions of people rooting for you.
I don't mind being called a girl but some days I kinda feel more masculine if that makes sense. I also go by seb with close friends instead of my real name just because it feels ..Right. I don't mind my name but Seb feels like ...Right, its hard to explain. I don't persay gravit to wanting to be male but some days I kinda wanna just be and feel more like a guy and some days I feel like being a girl. Kinda switching. Idk what this means though. Edit: spelling
It may be possible that you're genderfluid and that's why you like switching back and forth. But your story also sounds a lot like mine (as a nonbinary trans woman) in that I didn't hate my name, but my new name just felt right, and I didn't necessarily want to be a girl 24/7 at first, but it also kinda felt right, too. Honestly, it's all rather complicated. I think the key here is to keep asking questions and to keep looking within yourself to try to find the answers to those questions. Surround yourself with people who will love and support you no matter what, learn as much as you can about different LGBT identities, and realize that we're all constantly in the process of figuring ourselves out. Hope that helps a little! I wish you the best of luck. 💚
You really helped me and I'll never forget your words that only I can tell who am I going to be not some random stranger on the internet which was really funny 🤣💚 Also I LOVVEE the tip of creating my ideal self with drawing/sims! That is an amazing idea to express how I'm feeling in a creative way. 🤗🤩
When I was trying to figure it out, I asked God as my mother would tell me to do. One evening I was biking and the sky and clouds made a non-binary flag as the sun set. Another thing that really helped me with figuring out my gender and sexuality was quizzes. I would look up ‘What gender/sexuality am I?’ and take them.
I'm glad it was helpful! 😊 And as for names, it's all about what fits you best and how you want the world to perceive you! Personally, I think Riley sounds more down to earth while Phoenix sounds super dramatic and larger-than-life, but I like them both a lot!
I’ve been talking to my family about me becoming nonbinary and they’ve been asking me “hey, why do you want to be this?” And I’ve been kinda eh because I don’t have a reason , I just don’t feel comfortable in any gender.
I second what Georgia said, but I think it's important to remember that you don't *become* nonbinary; you realize that you *are* nonbinary. So it's not a matter of wanting to be something; it's just about realizing that you are that thing and choosing to accept it.
This is such a good and positive video!!! 💜 I don't see many which feel so inclusive, a lot seem to narrow it down to wanting androgyny in some way, or never identifying with a binary gender. But I'm strongly in both the genderfluid and non binary camps. Love your style and your channel 💖
Thank you so much!! 💖 And yeah, I get what you're saying. For some people, being nonbinary *is* about being androgynous or being completely outside of the gender binary, which is totally cool! But for me, it's all about having the freedom to be exactly who I am. And it took me quite a while to figure that out for myself, but I'm so glad I did. 😊
I’m assumed female all the time no matter how androgynous i try to appear because of my physical appearance, and it causes me to sometimes think I’m just delusional or faking it. I can’t “tell my story about how I realised” because it triggers trauma, so that sometimes makes me feel like I’m just faking it. This video really helped calm me down just now and realise society just sucks and I’m valid! Thank you!
I can definitely relate! I'm assumed male all the time, even when I'm wearing a full-face of makeup. (It's probably my voice, tbh, but vocal training is hard!!) But please don't let anyone else's perception of you dictate who you truly are! You are who you say you are and that's what matters; society will just have to catch up. 😊
Hi this comment section seems kind so i need some peoples help if you dont mind. I am 13 years old and have been questioning my gender for a quite a bit now but idk exactly where I lay on the spectrum. I think I may be gender fluid but I'm not sure. I mean sometimes I feel like I'm completely a boy and other times completely a girl and sometimes completely non-binary. But then sometimes I feel kind of a girl but not rlly and vise versa. Its just kinda messing with my head and I could really use some advice. Anyway Love ya'll
hmm that sound like gender fluid but if you don't want to use a label you can just use gender queer. experiment with pronouns(people you trust, or calling yourself certain thing when you're alone) and see what feels right. I'm not exactly sure where I am on the spectrum either but I suggest reading the definitions of certain genders and see if they seem right to you.
It sounds to me like you might be genderfluid! If you're looking for more information on different gender identities, I have a video called "A Guide to Nonbinary Identities" that you might find helpful. But yeah, judging from the fact that your gender identity changes over time, I'd guess genderfluid. That being said, only you can decide who you are, so go with whatever makes you feel most comfortable! 😊
I always thought that I was a cis woman because I didn't feel like I was experiencing the same level of dysphoria like transpeople. But it made me wonder why I always kept running away from every situation that had something to do with my sex (like sex education, going to gynecologists or just cringing whenever someone calls me "Miss"). It's just a part of me that feels off. Even though I don't want surgery or change the way I dress, I feel really uncomfortable with being treated like a woman and it offends me if someone calls me a guy instead.
If you're uncomfortable when perceived as a woman and offended when perceived as a man, I definitely think it's worth looking into the possibility that you might be nonbinary! And with regards to the issue of dysphoria, I think it's important to remember that gender euphoria tends to be a better determiner of gender identity than gender dysphoria; in other words, pay attention to what makes you feel happy and affirmed in your gender! Paying attention to the ways in which gender stuff makes you uncomfortable can definitely be a good start, but I personally think that the goal should be figuring out what makes you happy and comfortable, not just running away from what makes you unhappy and uncomfortable. Hope that helps!
@@arysn0w Thank you so much. Unfortunately I dont have any friends or other associates in the same situation so I felt quite helpless and misunderstood by others. I read a lot about the non-binary spectrum before but was scared to call myself like that because it still feels extremely weird and new to me. I lived in a binary society for my whole life and I never even heard about the non-binary spectrum for most time of my life. So I'm still struggling to fully understand it for myself. But you do have a point about gender euphoria. It's definitely a way more positive way to figure out my gender identity. Thanks for your answer and your help. I really needed this!
thanks for the video, this helped a lot! a few months ago i figured i was ftm, and started going by he/him and a different name. recently something hasn't felt entirely right, and i've been experimenting more with different ideas. this brought a lot more into perspective!
I'm just wanna ask real quick, does any body use a different name, and what do you use? Tell me, your birth name and name you use, and any suggestions for me, my birth names Bailey, I was born a girl. Yes, I am Non-binary. Edit: I settled on the name Skylar. I really liked it, and the nickname Si fits me so well.
i've always thought i was a cis girl but started questioning in the last month and it's really frustrating me. i cried while watching this and really can't tell how i feel about these things- if i like identifying that way or don't. i had a friend try out they/them pronouns on me and i still couldn't tell if it felt right or not. i think figuring this out is gonna take a long time for me... thank you for this though.
It can definitely take quite a bit of time to figure everything out. I legitimately questioned my gender for years before I came out, and even now, I find myself questioning if a different gender identity or a different set of pronouns might fit me better. So you're definitely in good company! I'm sorry it's weighing so heavily on your mind, though, and I hope you're able to find the answers you're looking for. Wishing you all the best!
@@arysn0w thank you for this, i've read this message quite a few times and truly appreciate it💚 it's soothing to know i'm not the only one doubting and i hope you're doing well!!
thanks so much for this video- it really helped me. hearing others talking about their experience and what has helped them has helped me too. appreciate u!
I really appreciate you including those hypothetical scenarios-- I've never put myself mentally into situations like those, and I found that they've helped a lot!
aaaaaa I just wanted to say that I loved this video and again and again I find that the LGBT+ community is so welcoming and wholesome, especially to people questioning their sexuality/gender identity. Not to get into a whole life story but I used to consider myself aroace and then I realized I was bi (but even now im realizing im still on the aro spectrum lmaoo), and I still fly the aroace flags because that was the first lgbt subcommunity I was in. Even during a time of discourse, even just while I was lurking tumblr, I felt welcome there. I just love yall so much. Happy Pride, and stay safe out there :)
This was such a helpful video 😭 I never started questioning until I became an adult, even though the binary made me uncomfortable. And you're so loving and caring even through a camera lens! I hope everything always goes amazing for you, thanks for the tips ❤❤
I guess this outs me as something, anyway. I thought I might be straight, but I was never interested in complicated relationships of any kind. I will be 68 at the end of this month. Ever since I was very little, this female born person was only ever comfortable in "boy" clothes, which I insisted on wearing exclusively when I turned 21. At the end of the day, all I want to do is kick back with a dog and a few cats and read. I do not know what that categorizes me as since there seems to be so much variation in everything, but if all of this makes me a part of the LGBTQ community, so be it.
Happy early birthday!! 😊 From what you said about never being interested in complicated relationships and just wanting to spend time with animals and read, it sounds like you might be on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrum! And exclusively wearing "boy" clothes *could* point in the direction of being nonbinary, but you also might just be a more masculine-presenting woman! It's however you feel most comfortable identifying. Hope that helps!
Truly this was so helpful. I've been going through it when it comes to thinking about my gender and its been so stressful and your calm presence put me more at ease, especially to remembr that I don't need to have it all figured out. I've been going back and forth about whether im a trans guy or a transmasc nb person, and its been more complicated by the fact that all the nb people i know and see are white. Being able to see you as a calm and beautiful and black non binary person makes me feel like its gonna be okay. I feel like I feel at peace being not cis but start to freak out when I think of coming out to my family and coming out professionally.
I get that! For what it's worth, I'm also very much still figuring things out. Now that I've been transitioning publicly for a few years, the question of "how much of this is for me and how much of this for others?" weighs heavily on my mind, and I'm trying to deconstruct that now. Transitioning is a process that never truly ends for a lot of trans folks! And there is absolutely no rush -- not to figure things out, not to come out to others, no rush at all. You're only in a race with yourself and your own perception of where you should be in life, even as it feels like the world is rushing past us. (Also, believe me when I say that I'm also talking to myself right now; this is not a lesson I'm learning well 😅) That said, knowing that I was able to give you a sense a peace and ease has made my night! I hope you're doing well, friend 😊💕 ~Maddie
I think always playing a guy on Roblox and Minecraft, plus refusing to answer to any other name than Lightning (from the movie Cars) for three years might have been an eeeennncccy tiny little sign :D Awesome video. Thank you for helping out other non binary and questioning people! The internet is a better place for you being on it.
out of all the videos i’ve watched so far i’ve found yours the most helpful! i’ve been questioning my gender since the beginning of quarantine and i want to be sure that i’m finding an indentity that fits and for the right reasons. “wanting to be non-binary might be a sign that you are” was really affirming bc i just feel like being nb would be more freeing to me. also your presence is really comforting and made me subscribe hehe :)
Remember: Just because you identify as non-binary doesn't mean you owe androgyny. You could dress fem or masc and be non binary. GENDER EXPRESSION IS NOT THE SAME AS GENDER IDENTITY. Love to y'all
And also, not always the pronouns should match your appearance or how you identify yourself, you can see yourself masc or identify yourself as non-binary and you can use the pronouns she/them, for example. It is not okay to assume a person's pronouns/gender by how they look, if you are not sure, just ask them respectfully.
I'm glad I found this. I just recently, at the help of a therapist, came to terms of being non-binary and SUPER NEW to all of this. Your tips really put everything in perspective. Thank you.
I’m cis and I my opinion on this kind of topics was always “this is none of my business, I don’t care”, but now I feel like I should educate myself about them, even if it’s none of my business. Your video was very informative!
honestly gender is so much harder to figure out than sexuality. Like as lesbian even with the internalized nonsense I just have to look at a girl imao. But gender? oh gender, a whole other mess
I think it depends! Like, I'm pretty solidly in the "nonbinary trans woman" camp, and I don't see myself going anywhere anytime soon. (Took me forever to figure that out, though, to your point.) But in the video I just uploaded, I talk about struggling with my sexuality (the labels, not the feelings) because nonbinary people aren't technically included in the definitions of a lot of sexualities. Like, if I'm attracted to women and feminine nonbinary folks, does that make me a lesbian (because I'm attracted exclusively to femininity), or does that make me bisexual (because I'm technically attracted to more than one gender)? And then there's the fact that romantic orientation and sexual orientation are two separate things, and honestly, it's all a recipe for confusion. Tl;dr it's all a mess, but it's so totally worth it when you figure it all out.
The hypothetical scenarios really helped me so much! I had never thought about it that way before, and I can now say with a lot more certainty than before that I'm probably non-binary! Thank you for making this video!
not me bursting into tears at "if you want to be nonbinary then you probably are". i came out in january i've been very secure in my identity for months now but that felt very reassuring and i needed that.
Shimanami Tasogare helped me a lot, lol. The way Anonymous described their gender identity and how they don't really care and happy with whatever label others can give them, is something I can relate to.
Am I the only one who sees a whole bunch of people saying that non binary people are doing it for attention or to feel special and then start worrying that I'm not actually non binary and then getting super anxious and confused? Help :(( I am surrounded by a whole bunch of nb and trans people and only recently discovered that I may be non binary, and now im worried that im just going through a phase.. and now im super confused and anxiouuusss and nobodys gonna see my comment and asbdjsjajsj
I see your comment! :) So first and foremost, I want to reassure you that it's completely okay to feel anxiety and confusion when it comes to exploring your gender identity. Take things at your own pace and remember that you are supported and loved. Regarding your first point, yes, there are people who claim that nonbinary people are attention-seeking. And I sit here and tell you why that's not true, but at the end of the day, I think you already know that. The question that you need to ask yourself is "is my reasoning for thinking that I'm nonbinary rooted in my desire for attention?" Because if the answer is no, then it doesn't really matter what other people say, does it? (I know, easier said than done. Trust me, I've been there.) Second, I think it's so cool that you're surrounded by trans and nonbinary people! Wish I'd had that when I first emerged. (Sorry, Steven Universe reference. Couldn't help myself.) Seriously, though, if you come to the conclusion that you are, in fact, nonbinary, it sounds like you're gonna have some supportive people in your life to lean on, share resources and information with, etc., and that's really wonderful. Lastly, I want to reassure you that there's absolutely nothing wrong with phases. Do I think that this is "just a phase?" Eh, probably not. But even if it is, that's totally okay! I feel like we as a community put a lot of pressure on people who are questioning their sexuality/gender to pick a label and stick to it, but that's not always how it works! (In fact, I'd argue that it's *usually* not how it works.) Someone might go through a bi phase, then realize that they're lesbian later on in life, or maybe they'll go through a binary trans phase, only to later realize that they're actually nonbinary! Don't let your uncertainty about who you might be in the future stop you from being exactly who you are now in the present. Whew, this ended up being a long comment. 😅 But I hope something I've said helps!
I think i just got a sign from the universe I went into a video a little while after watching this and the first comment was about being valid and it had green hearts
I am constantly feeling confused. I know that I am not FtM trans but I'm not sure if I fit with just being female either. It made me sad when my mother told me that she would be so happy to finally see me in a dress "looking like an actual girl". I'm not sure what that says about me and I'm still really quite young so I try and push it to the back of my mind to deal with when I'm older but it keeps pushing back and I don't know what to think anymore.
Maybe you could discuss your feelings with her? Or a counselor or a friend or someone? Pushing things to the back of your mind doesn't often work, so you might feel best if you find a way to get everything out in the open. It'll help them understand you better and it also may help you understand yourself better!
This video was really helpful to me. I'm a 21 year-old who's been out as a trans man for about five years now, and been on Testosterone for almost two. When talking with other trans people, I've found that my history and feelings about gender are more complicated than I first thought, and that I might identify outside the gender binary. Thank you for presenting this journey in a positive light and something to be excited about, not scared of :-)
For a very long time, I’ve questioned my gender identity. It was always “male or female?” After a while, I started learning more about the LGBTQ+ and learned about so many more gender identities and sexualities. I never even knew there was such thing as romantic attraction such as biromantic or panromantic. I always identified as bisexual. But I liked more masculine hair and clothing, I hung out with the guys. Sometimes I just wanted to cut off all my hair. I sometimes thought I was male deep inside and nothing else. But I *was* something else. I was researching the different gender identities when something called ‘agender’ caught my eye. I looked it up and I felt like I was at ease. Like I was safe. I was agender. I started experimenting with different pronouns and names and found one I liked. I asked my friend to call me by they/them pronouns and to call me my preferred name. After a while, I felt like I wouldn’t be noticed. Like I wasn’t well known by my community. I wanted to feel comfortable with who I was. I figured out what I was from then on. I started identifying as non-binary. The current girlfriend I had at the time came out to me as non-binary. I was shocked, so many different emotions flooded me. I still loved them. A lot. That was when I started identifying as pansexual. My name is Sam, I use they/them pronouns, and I’m pansexual. Nice to meet ya~
tip 10 is so... good, I feel comfortable identifying as a girl but at the same time I just want to be in-between and I thought "am I non-binary/demigirl or do I just want to be 'different'" and this tip just made me realise if I want to be different genderwise that means I don't fully feel comfortable in the label I'm in right now. My imposter syndrome just vanished, thank you
Hi, everyone! If you're reading this, I hope your day is going well. 😊
Just wanted to take a moment to let everyone know that I do try to respond to every single comment (that isn't clearly negative) as quickly as possible! If, for some reason, you've commented on this video (or any other video) and I don't reply to you, it's just because I missed your comment somehow. Sometimes the TH-cam Studio doesn't show me all of the comments I receive, for some reason? But if I happen to miss your comment, please know that I'm still incredibly grateful for the fact that you took the time to contribute to the conversations happening down here in the comment section!
On the other hand, I do try to delete all negative, hateful comments. Please note that I'm not talking about constructive criticism or genuine confusion/questions from people who may perhaps be uninformed; I welcome such comments! But if the comment is insulting or demeaning or belittling or antagonistic, I'm gonna delete it. It's really important to me that trans/nonbinary/questioning people have a place to engage in dialogue and ask questions without being attacked or having their very identity called into question, so I try my best to remove such comments as quickly as possible. However, just like I miss positive comments sometimes and I fail to respond to them, I miss negative comments sometimes and I fail to remove them. I do sincerely apologize if anyone is hurt by any negative comments that happen to slip through, but I also hope that you'll be encouraged, reassured, and validated by all of the positive comments!!
💚💚💚
Im 14..I honestly don't know if im nonbinary or gender fluid can i be both if its possible? Just wondering and yes you helped a lot😁😊❤
@@Camonkitty1010 Genderfluid is a nonbinary identity, so yes, it's possible to be both nonbinary and genderfluid.
And I'm happy to help!! :)
@@arysn0w 😁❤
I’m non binary and I’m finding it really really hard to come out 😖😔😭😘🏳️🌈
@@joey6962 🥺💞
I'm not having a crisis, I'm just *curious*
Edit: after 1 year I am now having an identity crisis 🙃
I do love curiosity! 😊
But also, I'm glad that you're not having a crisis! Questioning, exploring, and discovering your gender identity can be a really difficult and trying time, so I'm glad to hear that it's going well for you. 💚
Nope lol I’m having a crisis WHATS MY GENDER
@@mercurywise4047 wait we were supposed to know that?!
Scarlet Rose I hope the fuck NOT
Can't relate lol
bless my mom's soul for giving me a gender neutral name she did this with my sibling too
when i told her i was non binary and wanted to go by they/them she was all "i knew this would happen, i support you no matter what"
but i still might need to refresh her on the uptake cause i kept my hair long after that and she went back to using she/her, but bless her heart she is trying her best!
That's awesome!! Supportive parents really are the best. 😊
I’m sorry but how did ur mom know that u were nonbinary before u were born?
@@grac3chen266 i never said that, perhaps you read it wrong.
When I was born I was female and my name was Juliet. My parents always supported LGBTQ, and even though they were very religious if I came out like something from the LGBTQ category than they would support me. When I was eleven I pretended to be a guy on Omegle. It was really fun and it was nice to have some girls talk to me and stupid guys skip me. I started dressing differently and used this video. I came out and I'm grateful I have an accepting family! I'm glad to say I am Robin!
-A non-binary demigirl
Thank you for sharing your story!! I'm glad everything worked out for you. 😊
WAIT YOU CAN BE BOTH WHAT???? OMG THIS MIGHT SOLVE MY PROBLEM
@@poppycatz when i commented that i was still a demigirl trying to figure out whether i was non-binary or not and i was shocked cuz i didn’t know you could be both but now i’m just non-binary
A fellow NB and presumably also a fellow SP fan?? You’re cool my guy
Hello, Robin!!
Me: being confused about my gender
Her: Go shoe shopping
Me: Realizing that I always lean towards men's shoes and that I've always wanted to be male when I was younger
*I think I'm on to something*
I meant that as a metaphor, but the fact that it can also work literally makes me incredibly happy. 😊
This is the same for me and also with clothes. I also wanted to be able to wear the boy's uniform, but beening a male doesn't fit right either.
@@ghost1057 yeah, I've always wanted to be a guy but it feels like it doesn't fit me
SAME!
You go dude! You’re amazing and I’m happy for you!
I love when trans people uplift other awesome creators. Thanks for the list of YTers.
Definitely! I hope you enjoy their content!! :)
Thanks so much for this! It's especially awesome to see Black trans non binary youtubers on the subject, it makes me feel seen xx
Absolutely! I'm honoured to hear you say that. 😊
I’ve been having a weird time figuring out my gender identity, but this video felt like a reassuring hand on my back telling me that it’s going to be ok
I'm so glad!! Figuring out your gender can definitely be a difficult process, but you've got this. You've got millions of people around the world supporting you and rooting for you, no matter what conclusion you reach.
I'm really confused because I'm afab and I know I'm not a guy but I'm unsure if I'm just a cis girl who's uncomfortable with who they are or if I may be non binary
I've only been questioning for about two months now so I know I have plenty of time to figure but I still just wish I could understand my head and gender
I totally get that. When I first started questioning, I thought that I was just uncomfortable with the assumptions that were made of me because people saw me as male; it took me quite a while that I was uncomfortable with being perceived as male altogether. I think the key in a situation like yours is to identify exactly what it is that makes you uncomfortable and why, especially figuring out if it's your assigned gender that you're uncomfortable with or the assumptions and stereotypes that are placed on you because of your assigned gender. Hope that helps!
@@arysn0w Here, you've backed my point I made a few minutes ago. If its the stereotypes and inequality of this between the two genders. Your community should be pointing out this, correcting people. Men can wear wigs. Dresses. Makeup. They can play Volleyball and do makeovers. Hell, I've had my nails painted! You shouldn't come up with things to contradict because you fear these steroetypes.
There are masculine women, there are feminine men, and there are also nonbinary people who can be masculine, feminine, or whatever else. Nonbinary people don't exist because of a fear of stereotypes. Nonbinary people exist because there are people who are nonbinary.
@@arysn0w Yet not all psychologists point to it. Rather its many psychologists who claim to be nonbinary, who are in support of it? Coincidence? I think not. You even said in your image you became uncomfortable because of the stereotypes with your gender. If we solve, and rid these stereotypes which are a clear problem. People in your predicament won't have that issue any more.
@@akumu9301 Hey, we agree on one thing: gender stereotypes are a problem. Let's just leave it at that.
"Try out names" me casually thinking about changing my name to noodles. I- dont think im cis😂
Noodles may very well be the most nonbinary name I've ever heard. 😁😂
late but my name is Loki, like the god with a toenail boat. i also considered naming myself arson-
@@redpark2 Arson sounds like it would have been an epic name. But I love the name Loki, it kinda inspires chaos. have a great day✌❤
I'm pretty late but I really love the name Sage, I dunno why, I just do. My name is too feminine and I don't really like it. Noodles sound like a really cool name lol.
@@whiterabbit038 Thanks so much. I agree sage is also Awesome. Just choose a name that feels right to you and dont worry if it takes some time. We are here for you
For a long time now, I’ve been struggling to find labels that fit me. Seeing as how I am still young and going through changes, it’s hard to keep up with what I want to label myself as (this goes for gender identity, sexual attraction, and romantic attraction). I watched this video after thinking through the labels I currently have. Thanks to you, I am more confident than ever that I am Nonbinary!
I have always felt excluded from gender groups/roles. Even as a small child I would dress in princess outfits, but love to play with toy cars and horse play with the boys. It wasn’t until I got a little older that I was being forced into a gendered box of femininity that made me hate anything feminine. I hated skirts, makeup, dresses, pink, and anything that was typically assigned towards females. I hit a bump where I thought I was Agender, then I thought I was a Trans male. After a while, neither of those titles fit me and I was lost.
I was confused because I wanted to dye my hair, wear nail polish, wear crop tops, and other typically feminine things. But I also wanted to get tattoos, piercings, wear traditionally masculine things. I wanted to be seen as masculine, but not male.
I decided to go with the term Nonbinary, but after a while of people saying that I present too masculine to be Nonbinary or that it wasn’t a real thing, that I was “confused,” I started to seriously doubt myself.
After searching for a long time, watching many videos (such as this one), reading articles, and just asking friends in the LGBT community, I’ve come to the conclusion that I identify as Nonbinary.
I am not male or female. I am my own person and no one can tell me I’m not. I know in my heart that what I am feeling is true. Even if my label changes over time, I will still have this part of myself to look back at. I am me and that’s all I need.
Thank you for this video!💚
(Sorry for any typos or grammar mistakes!)
I'm so happy to hear that this video was helpful to you!! Thank you for taking time out of your day to let me know that; it really does mean a lot to me. 😊💚
This comment really got to me. Your journey is nearly identical to mine and I'm still continuing to have doubts about gender identity and such and whether I'm "faking it" but seeing someone that is non-binary and experienced the same things I have really makes me feel more confident about my identity. Thank you for sharing your story.
This is very similar to me :) 💚
Its the same for me too since some days I want to present myself more masculine and others more feminine!
@@the_archives597 I have also had the same thing were I never questioned my gender till I hit around 16. I now identify as non-binary but, I kept thinking well am I faking it am I just seeing all these trans people and wanting to be like them, idk. I have had the same thing were I did everything a young boy and a young girl would do and as I got older I was being pushed into his girl world that I hated. so I tried to dress masculine and act more like a guy but then I realized I started To really liked girl things more and my brain keeps switching from I really like this style that is more masculine and this style thats super feminine but I didn't want to be seen as a girl I want to be seen as nothing or as a boy. I thought maybe I could be a trans boy but it didn't feel right either and I know my parents would hate that. I tried being gender fluid to see what I liked more but it didn't help, my trans friend would ask me what my pronouns were and I would say I don't know you pick which didn't work for me. So later I tried gender fluid again this time more organized and I was going to go threw and say I'm they/them then I would go a week as she/her or he/him but I didn't even get that far before I realized I'm just non-binary and turns out when I said that I felt more relaxed but also stressed because now I have to try and come out again but this time with my gender. plus the thing they said in the video to refer to yourself in the 3rd person I tried it and I thought I liked to be called he/him or they/them but turns out I like Thay/them way more.
Is non-binary but watches this video 😂
It can be nice to have that kind of reassurance sometimes! (Or maybe you just wanted to watch it for fun. Either way, I hope you got something out of it!)
You mean you’re an insecure teenage girl watching the video?
@@jordanjames4090 y u obsessed w nonbinary ppl
@@jordanjames4090 and you’re just compensating for your m i c r o pp
Same 😂
I'm closeted because the one time i tried to come out to my trans friends they got mad at me :( However to make myself feel better I put green hearts in my bio 💚💚💚!!
I'm so sorry that your friends didn't support you. Please know that here on this channel, you have all the love and support in the world! 💚💚💚
@@arysn0w eeep!!! That makes me so happy ! You're so sweet!!!
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So.... I came out to my friends yesterday and I’m Sam now and I’m just so happy, and my friend is going to try to get me a binder and my heart is fluttering
Congratulations, Sam!! I'm so glad that things are working out for you. :)
Great for you Sam! Whoooooo!
Dam I want a friend like that also CONGRATS! I want to come out as non-binary and change my name to ash
@@addiegreer2328 I hope you're able to come out relatively soon! And when you do, I hope you're surrounded by people who love and support you wholeheartedly. 💚💚💚
phoebe doering very nice sam
I've been questioning for 7 years.. back and forth between butch lesbian and trans man and just recently, probably around the time this video came out I accepted that it's ok to be in between. Up until then I had thought it was fake because "everyone feels like that, that's normal" but no, my experiences are not universal lol. Thank you for making this video though. We receive a lot of shit and we need positive voices like yours in our community.
Thank you so much for your kind words. 💙 Sending you tons of love and support!!
Good luck mate! I like your name and profile picture as well
This is MY identity crisis and I get to pick the music
Ooh, what music are you going with? I feel like my current identity crisis demands indie/folksy music (despite the fact that I'm usually a pop/EDM kinda girl)
"If you're feeling more inclined to more gender neutral pronouns like Alex..."
My name: Boo
A lovely name! Nice to meet you, Boo!
Love your pfp also why you gotta call me out like that 🤭
PERIODTTTT I frickin love that name omg
DOUBLE TROUBLE YESSIR YOU'VE GOT TASTE
With the thought of tip 9, look for signs, the fact that Alex is the first name that was said and that's me... and it's usually listed in this context... lmao hmmm
Your lisp is so adorable 😍 great video
Haha thanks! 😊 I'm glad you enjoyed it!!
I clicked and I am obsessed with your hair, I'd never be able to braid it so well, thank you for the tips as well
Thanks!! I could never do it myself, though; I'm quite thankful for hairdressers and the incredible work they do.
And you're welcome! I hope they were helpful.
this video was so helpful. i feel so much more relaxed about my gender identity now because you make it seem so chill and comfortable. i was born a girl, and i never really quite felt like i was a girl. i haven’t ever been really distressed about it, but it’s just something that has always lingered throughout my childhood til now (i’m 17).
sometimes in my head i’ll think about myself using the pronoun ‘he’ and it felt cool but still not quite right, much like how i feel about the pronoun ‘she’. then when i think about myself as ‘they’ it just feels a lot warmer and safer, like i feel less constricted for whatever reason.
from now on i think i’m going to try to go by they/them pronouns, just to see how it feels. i don’t imagine myself getting too distraught over people using she/her pronouns when they refer to me, but i dunno.
i think as long as i settle with myself that i’m free to wiggle around throughout the gender spectrum then i don’t think it really matters.
forgot to add a few of these bad boys also -> 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚
I'm so glad it was helpful!! Wishing you all the best! 💚💚💚
shukezi this is exactly how I feel too! any pronouns work for me, but at the same time I feel like I want to just redefine what a woman is, and yet I feel so freed by identifying as nonbinary!
Thank you for this comment! I’m questioning, but felt like i could be faking it because it just feels uncomfortable/wrong being called she/her a lot of the time instead of feeling really intense dysphoria. It nice to know there is someone out there that might feel the same.
i’m seeing this a year later. but this describes my experience exactly! hope ur doing well
💚💚💚💚💚💛⚪️💜🖤💚💚💚💚💚
This really helped me! Sometimes it makes it harder when people say we’re not real, or you’re one or the other just accept it. It forms doubts about my authenticity, but when someone labels me non-binary, it feels really good. Also when you mentioned you’re spirituality, I was like same! Before and after these feelings about my identity, I noticed more butterflies passing by me which I’ve read about symbolizing change. Thank you!
I'm really glad to hear that! Many of us really are so entrenched in the gender binary that it's hard to accept that there are more than two gender options. That being said, nonbinary people are becoming more and more visible thanks to the Internet and an increase in support, so maybe one day, it'll be that much easier for people to come out and be who they are.
Also, it's cool that you've been noticing butterflies! For me, it was dragonflies. :)
Epically Curious yes! I hope one day more people will open their minds and hearts to everyone’s differences. That’s cool how you’ve been seeing dragonflies!
I'm very confused. I thought I might be genderfluid, but whenever I feel more like a 'girl' I feel the exact same dysphoria as when I feel like a boy or something else. I think I might be nonbinary, but I'm still doubting myself a lot. And it's also not helpful that where I live we have no genderneutral pronouns and everything is pretty gendered. (I'm dutch) You either have a 'vriend' (which means a friend who is a boy) or a 'vriendin' (which is a girl) but no genderneutral term. So I can't experiment with words. I hope I'll figure it out one day, thank you for the tips 💚💚💚
Genderfluid is a nonbinary identity because it doesn’t fit the male/female binary, so you can be genderfluid and nonbinary! I sure am, most days I feel pretty androgynous and ‘meh’ about my body, other days I am okay with being a woman and some days I straight up wish I was a dad
I found a website that might help you with genderneutral words/pronouns!
nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Gender_neutral_language_in_Dutch
It’s the non-binary wiki and has several Dutch genderneutral terms :)
@Her Face That would be 'vrienden' but being referred to as someones friends is kinda weird to me personally.
@@jordanjames4090 Yeah, I know, that's why I'm figuring out what it is. I've never been a girl and never will, I've always been what I am. And nothing about your statement is correct, because I'm definitely not little.
@@jordanjames4090 I don't care whether you believe me or not. I know myself, and I know my gender. And even if it's body dysmorphia, which it isn't, but just to imagine; Why do you care? You don't care about me or my wellbeing, clearly. If I feel comfortable like this, even if it's a delusion, why does it matter? I'm not hurting anyone. From your transphobic point of view 'I'm hurting my body'. But whatever it is that I'm feeling that I call dysphoria and you dysmorphia, it's much worse than anything I can do to myself.
For about 4 years i was always drawn to the name Skylar. I now know that I'm 95%certain I'm non binary and Skylar is the name ment for me
That's awesome! I'm glad you found a name and identity that fit.
I love that name, if you don't mind, may I ask what your name was before? I'm just now figuring out what I should call myself
@@midnightpack8455 Julieanna. But people just called me Julie
You say you... Non-binnery? What nonbiney?? Nonby not real. You make nonby up.
Only 2 gender:
-cool ranch
-nacho
Can't _identify_ as Norbert. That don't make sense. No one's just born nanabanana!!!
You're not Nickelback...
No lie, I've been quoting that TikTok since I first saw it 😂
Lol
I wanna identify as "cheddar jalapeno"!
My friend just came out as non binary and I'm just here to learn about being non binary so I can be as respectful an helpful to them as much as possible
That's wonderful! Supportive friends are so incredibly important.
Im so happy to hear your story, and I think it's awesome that you're trying to help others find who they are! :D
Thank you so much!! 💚💚
5:39 i rly rly believe that too bc i've been questioning my gender recently and im like 90% sure i'm nonbinary but it's rly hard and just a few days ago when i was doubting myself and was thinking about how im mostly uncomfy with being a girl i was scrolling on tiktok and the very first video that popped up on my fyp was of a woman saying how "if it doesn't feel right, then it isn't" and i started crying bc everything in the video everything she was saying comforted and reassured me so much it was exactly what i needed in that moment
That's such an incredible sign! I'm so glad you had that experience. 😊
And thank you so much!! But...don't be sad! In all honesty, I'm always down to make new friends. 💚💚
I just came out as non binary on New Year's Eve. I'm now Keir and use they/them/their. I am so happy and confident with myself now. Just within the span of 2 days, it's affected me so much in a positive way. Much love from me
I'm so glad your coming out went well!! I wish you all the best! 💚
I loved the one about the scenarios in which there was a non binary option. Oh my, I would so choose that! Plus, when my family played men vs women, i was ALWAYS the mediator. Oh my, i'm so non binary
That makes a lot of sense!! 😊
Not me over here watching this video trying least things and sobbing because it feels, well it just feels right. I've been questioning my general identity for so long and its really frustrating but this, I don't know it just made me really happy because it feels like me. Thank you
I'm so happy to hear that this video resonated with you. 💚
Thank you so much for the subtitles dude, I’m both hearing deficit and terrified someone will hear me listening to this xD
I'm really, really glad they helped!!
Haha me too 😉 I'm deaf
I cried when I talked to myself in my head and used they them pronouns. It felt so amazing! 💛⚪️💜🖤
Edit: Also does anyone have some good gender neutral names? If I decide I 100% no doubt in my mind at non-binary I won’t want to go by my name. (It’s pretty feminine) I like Emerson because it seems pretty close to my name now and won’t be to drastic of a change, but I wanted to see if anyone had some good options. 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚
Ahhh, I'm so happy for you!! 💚💚
Also, Emerson is a really cool name! Some of the gender neutral names that come to my head are Skylar, Riley, Avery, Cameron, Salem, Aaron/Erin, Ash, Lee, Corey, Dani/Danny, Jesse/Jessie, Spencer, Max, Alex, Harper, Billie, Jean, Jordan, Taylor, and Grayson. (Also, I asked my girlfriend and she added Sam, Casey, May, Toni/Tony, and Jo.) Hope that helps!!
Epically Curious thanks you so much!!! I love the names you gave me! I like Casey a lot. Thanks so much for making this video! 💚💚
You're welcome! I'm glad you liked the names and I'm glad the video was helpful!! 💚
Kookie• Pastel I like the name Michelle. It's mostly feminine in English speaking countries, but masculine in many parts of Eurupe. Morgan is almost exclusively masculine in scandinavia, but more feminine in America.
I never would have thought of those! 😊
You just made me feel so much inner peace, love and security that anxiety simply faded away and tears of relief wanted to come out. Thank you so much
It honestly means so much to me to hear you say that! I'm so happy I was able to help you. 😊💚
i’m honestly so confused about my identity, i know i like she/her, so i thought that i was cis, but now i’m thinking i might like they/them too
It's okay to be confused! There's absolutely no rush to figure everything out. That being said, I think you're definitely on the right track to figuring things out! Experimenting with pronouns is a great way to figure out who you are and how you want people to see you.
I've been out as agender and under the non-binary umbrella for awhile, I came out in February as under the non-binary umbrella, and came out a few months ago as agender!
Also loved this video! Thank you for making this!
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Congrats on coming out this year!
Maaan, when I was younger and I thought I was aromantic, I found myself just constantly going "can i be genderless 😐"
Then I turn out to be an asexual lesbian (and my sapphic love is the one thing that led me to embrace my femininity), but I ended up having a best friend for YEARS who was not supportive at ALL of nb peeps, so yeehaw I got forced into denial... when I cut her out of my life during quarantine, seemingly out of nowhere the gender questioning hit like a truck... but after talking it out with supportive trans and nonbinary friends, I felt so liberated when I realized, and am now freely, more comfortably than ever living my truth!
Hi!! My name is Sammie-Chris, she/they, and I'm a nonbinary ace lesbian!! Thank you so much for your kind and helpful video, as I see all the comments of all the people it's guided! Let's all be true to ourselves and help each other live our happiest, freest lives
And yes, I, too, am a firm believer in The Universe :) 💚
Thank you for sharing your story! I'm glad you were able to figure yourself out and that you're surrounded by supportive people. 😊💚
This is an amazing story Sammie-Chris! Thank you for sharing 💛 I’m so glad I’m not the only one that quarantine hit with the gender-questioning truck, that came out of NOWHERE for me and it’s been so liberating
@@radicalcreasy9877 I'm so happy for you and glad we share that bit of unity!! Welcome to the family 🤗
Oh, and I thought I should share with you this quote that I found:
"Freedom is found when we let go of who we're supposed to be and embrace who we are."
Thank you so much for making this video. For most of my life, I believed that I was a cisgender male and nothing else, however I recently started questioning my gender due to the fact that I love to crossdress and really like the idea of being a girl. While I'm not quite sure what my gender identity is as of yet, I have feeling that I'm either a transgender girl or have a non-binary identity. I'm really hoping that the amazing tips that you provided in this video for finding one's true gender identity will ultimately help me and everyone else out there who is questioning their gender find out what their true gender identity is.
I'm glad this was helpful for you!!
This video is extremely helpful, ty!
The signs of the universe thing is not my thing though, as I’m an atheist. I think it’s more like you are interpreting random things to fit what you feel like, so it might not be completely useless, just know that there’s nothing magical about it, it’s just your mind interpreting stuff into things that aren’t there, like a message from your subconscious
I'm glad the video helped you!
And it's totally okay that it's not your thing! Personally, I've had too many experiences with receiving signs and observing synchronicities and whatnot for me to not believe in that sort of thing, but I completely understand where you're coming from and I respect it.
I'm the same about the spirituality aspect. But I loved the analogies!
@@t-shades7148 I'm glad they were helpful!!
Im not an atheist, but I don't believe in God or whatever, I still do believe in signs, so we're all just special!!
I am late diganosised autistic. In all my research on autism i came acrossed lots of conversations about gender. I had a convo with my husband - hey i guess when i think about it i don't really see myself as a girl. I just know im perceived as one and the more feminine i dress the better im treated. I thought about demi girl as something that may discribe me.
And i guess i opened up pandoras box. I think it was in the back of my mind the whole time. I went to pride and was so drawn to the non binary stickers but told myself that the label didn't fit, They werent for me. A couple of weeks later im having a full on gender crisis. Feeling really good with male gendered language and dressing androgynous, bur having many meltdowns and full days of depression about it. Its confusing. I know nobody figures it out overnight. But thank you for the video. It really helps people who are starting out on this journey
I'm honored that I'm able to help you at this stage of your journey!! And if I may offer an additional piece of advice, allowing yourself to have fun with your exploration is an absolute game-changer. Questioning yourself and your identity can be absolutely terrifying, but I've found that allowing myself a bit of levity and playfulness has been incredibly helpful in terms of mitigating the meltdowns, crises, etc.
Also, I'm still figuring myself out, so you are definitely not alone in this process!! 💕🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
I've been spending some time trying to figure out my gender identity. Watching your video was part of my research and I just want to say it helped. I haven't finished searching for what feels right for me, but it was comforting to hear that encouragement. Thanks for cheering on people like me who are still discovering ourselves.
I'm so glad that this video was encouraging!! 😊
But yeah, it can take some time to figure everything out! I'm actually still figuring myself out; I came out a year and a half ago, but every time I think I've got a grasp on things, I discover a new facet of myself that raises new questions. So here's to both of us finding the answers we seek! 💚
@@arysn0w It's such a great feeling, taking the time to learn about myself it's like I'm connecting with myself in a way I never have before. It's wonderful. Thank you so much and best of wishes to you too in your journey!
BittenByFire I feel this! I’ve always been uncomfortable with the in-between, but I’m realizing it can be SO liberating to just be who I am without boundaries. Didn’t really realize how many internalized boundaries I had around myself until I started breaking them down.
@@radicalcreasy9877 Ohh I really like how you phrased that! Breaking down boundaries in yourself is a nice way to think of it. That's definitely how I've been feeling too! It is very freeing! :)
This video came at the right time, the hypothetical questions just reassured me that I'm a non-binary individual.
I'm really happy to hear that this video was reassuring!! 😊💚
You seem like such a genuine and sweet person. Thank you for making this video. I'm quite sure I'm slightly on the transfeminine side of non-binary, but I'm definitely going to try the exercise you suggested of drawing my ideal version of myself. 😊
Thank you so much!! 😊😊 I really hope you enjoy drawing your ideal self and I hope you find it helpful!
The fact that TH-cam recommended me this tells everything
I'm not 100% sure what you mean by that, but I hope it's a good thing and I hope you enjoyed the video!
Wow the way you used the shoe and restroom examples really helped I understand myself a bit better, thank you.
I'm so glad they were helpful!!
To be honest right now I have really big problems with my sexuality and gender, because I just feel bad that I am doing something wrong, because I still can end up being heterosexual female and It is scary. It is scary that I am closeted but take myself as pansexual and genderfluid. But if it will change I feel that everybody who is telling me that lgbtq+ is a phase were right, like im giving them the green to believe they are right in everybody. Even though that every person is unique. I just dont know how to feel about this mess and about the future with my gender and sexuality. It feels good to say it "out loud" finally
If I'm understanding you correctly, I think it's important to remember that gender and sexuality can be fluid! If you question your sexuality and your gender and it turns out that you're cisgender and heterosexual, that's still okay! I completely understand your desire not to come out just yet, though; when I was trying to figure out whether I was a binary trans person or a nonbinary trans person, I made a conscious decision not to talk to my family about it because I wanted to be more sure about who I was before I came out. That being said, I'm glad it feels good to express yourself "out loud!"
Hi, recently I've found out that I'm Pan, that's for sure. But lately I've been feeling like I'm non-binary, instead of a girl, but now I'm really confused on whether non-binary people can be more masculine or feminine, and I do have a nonbinary friend, but I'm too afraid to ask them about this and....i just need some help figuring out my gender identity I guess.
{Edit} I think I might be a nonbinary demi girl, because I am very feminine, but do feel a little gender dysphoria.
Nonbinary people can totally be more masculine or feminine! The only requirement for being nonbinary is that you don't totally, 100% identify with being male or female. And while there's still some debate about whether or not you need dysphoria to be trans/nonbinary, I *personally* think that having gender dysphoria is a surefire sign that you might be.
Sounds like "demigirl" might be a good fit! 😊
Epically Curious This is so helpful! I feel like I’m somewhere in between female and nonbinary and it flip flops (I’m genderfluid), but I often feel like I’m not nonbinary ‘enough’ because I’ve been okay with womanhood for 18 years and suddenly I want to bind and change my name because I fundamentally disagree with the binary.
Same right now im a demigirl and i think it also fits more(im warry feminine)
But i feel more comfedebel with the therm non-binary
So it may change idk
🏳️🌈
(Also im german so my einglich may be kinda bad)
Your Christmas tree is a mess and I love it❤️ it’s just like my life
Thanks! And honestly, I feel that on such a deep level 😂
I had tears In my eyes near the end, I've been questioning myself for a while now and this really helped. I'll probably continue to question myself, just to figure out where I am on the spectrum, but yeah thank you so much for this video 💚
Hearing you say that has genuinely made my day! I'm so, so glad you found this video helpful. 💚💚
i just wanted to drop a thanks here. i'm here bc for the past year i've been struggling to figure out whether i'm my agab or nonbinary/genderfluid. long story short, when you talked about changing names, i was hit by the feeling of how much i hated my name when i was a kid/teenager, and it made me cry, because i just felt so sad for my child self. i hadn't tied my issues with my name to my issues with gender until now. and then i cried again when you said everything in sign ten. there were other things in this list that resonated with me but i think i needed to hear a nonbinary person validate however i'm feeling, so thank you.
I'm so happy to hear that this video resonated with you! Best of luck on your journey to discover your identity; you've got millions of people rooting for you.
@@arysn0w 🥺😭 thank you xx
I really like the shoe fitting analogy and the trivia night and bathroom scenarios. Thank you for these helpful ideas.
I'm so happy to hear that they were helpful for you!
I don't mind being called a girl but some days I kinda feel more masculine if that makes sense. I also go by seb with close friends instead of my real name just because it feels ..Right. I don't mind my name but Seb feels like ...Right, its hard to explain. I don't persay gravit to wanting to be male but some days I kinda wanna just be and feel more like a guy and some days I feel like being a girl. Kinda switching. Idk what this means though.
Edit: spelling
It may be possible that you're genderfluid and that's why you like switching back and forth. But your story also sounds a lot like mine (as a nonbinary trans woman) in that I didn't hate my name, but my new name just felt right, and I didn't necessarily want to be a girl 24/7 at first, but it also kinda felt right, too. Honestly, it's all rather complicated. I think the key here is to keep asking questions and to keep looking within yourself to try to find the answers to those questions. Surround yourself with people who will love and support you no matter what, learn as much as you can about different LGBT identities, and realize that we're all constantly in the process of figuring ourselves out.
Hope that helps a little! I wish you the best of luck. 💚
@@arysn0w thanks so much ❤!
@@Nao-po3dx You're very welcome!! 💚
You really helped me and I'll never forget your words that only I can tell who am I going to be not some random stranger on the internet which was really funny 🤣💚
Also I LOVVEE the tip of creating my ideal self with drawing/sims! That is an amazing idea to express how I'm feeling in a creative way. 🤗🤩
I'm really glad I was able to help! 😊💚
This resonated pretty hard with me... also, I almost exclusively use the green heart emoji 💚
I'm so glad that it resonated with you! 💚💚
When I was trying to figure it out, I asked God as my mother would tell me to do. One evening I was biking and the sky and clouds made a non-binary flag as the sun set. Another thing that really helped me with figuring out my gender and sexuality was quizzes. I would look up ‘What gender/sexuality am I?’ and take them.
Thank you for sharing your story!! I'm glad you've found some things that have helped you figure out who you are.
"Be the person you know you are" is so comforting?? Thank you?? :')
I'm glad to know it was comforting!!
Thank you, this helped me alot. I've got three names I'm still "choosing between - my original name, Riley (hence why the user name) and Pheonix
I'm glad it was helpful! 😊 And as for names, it's all about what fits you best and how you want the world to perceive you! Personally, I think Riley sounds more down to earth while Phoenix sounds super dramatic and larger-than-life, but I like them both a lot!
I’ve been talking to my family about me becoming nonbinary and they’ve been asking me “hey, why do you want to be this?” And I’ve been kinda eh because I don’t have a reason , I just don’t feel comfortable in any gender.
Blair Neal You might be Agender! This is when you do not identify as any gender
I second what Georgia said, but I think it's important to remember that you don't *become* nonbinary; you realize that you *are* nonbinary. So it's not a matter of wanting to be something; it's just about realizing that you are that thing and choosing to accept it.
This is such a good and positive video!!! 💜 I don't see many which feel so inclusive, a lot seem to narrow it down to wanting androgyny in some way, or never identifying with a binary gender. But I'm strongly in both the genderfluid and non binary camps. Love your style and your channel 💖
Thank you so much!! 💖
And yeah, I get what you're saying. For some people, being nonbinary *is* about being androgynous or being completely outside of the gender binary, which is totally cool! But for me, it's all about having the freedom to be exactly who I am. And it took me quite a while to figure that out for myself, but I'm so glad I did. 😊
I’m assumed female all the time no matter how androgynous i try to appear because of my physical appearance, and it causes me to sometimes think I’m just delusional or faking it. I can’t “tell my story about how I realised” because it triggers trauma, so that sometimes makes me feel like I’m just faking it. This video really helped calm me down just now and realise society just sucks and I’m valid! Thank you!
I can definitely relate! I'm assumed male all the time, even when I'm wearing a full-face of makeup. (It's probably my voice, tbh, but vocal training is hard!!) But please don't let anyone else's perception of you dictate who you truly are! You are who you say you are and that's what matters; society will just have to catch up. 😊
The most helpful one was "male table or female table, or a middle table?"
I realized I want to go to the middle table
I'm glad it was helpful!!
That actually helped me so much 💚 thank you
I'm glad to hear that! Happy to help!! 💚
Me after this vid: I am non-binary and my name shall be Robin 🤧😤
Nice to meet you, Robin!! 😊
@@arysn0w lol thank you so much your vid really changed my veiw on this subject! And your hair is amazing🥺
I'm so glad I was able to help!
Hi this comment section seems kind so i need some peoples help if you dont mind. I am 13 years old and have been questioning my gender for a quite a bit now but idk exactly where I lay on the spectrum. I think I may be gender fluid but I'm not sure. I mean sometimes I feel like I'm completely a boy and other times completely a girl and sometimes completely non-binary. But then sometimes I feel kind of a girl but not rlly and vise versa. Its just kinda messing with my head and I could really use some advice. Anyway Love ya'll
hmm that sound like gender fluid but if you don't want to use a label you can just use gender queer. experiment with pronouns(people you trust, or calling yourself certain thing when you're alone) and see what feels right. I'm not exactly sure where I am on the spectrum either but I suggest reading the definitions of certain genders and see if they seem right to you.
It sounds to me like you might be genderfluid! If you're looking for more information on different gender identities, I have a video called "A Guide to Nonbinary Identities" that you might find helpful. But yeah, judging from the fact that your gender identity changes over time, I'd guess genderfluid. That being said, only you can decide who you are, so go with whatever makes you feel most comfortable! 😊
I always thought that I was a cis woman because I didn't feel like I was experiencing the same level of dysphoria like transpeople. But it made me wonder why I always kept running away from every situation that had something to do with my sex (like sex education, going to gynecologists or just cringing whenever someone calls me "Miss"). It's just a part of me that feels off. Even though I don't want surgery or change the way I dress, I feel really uncomfortable with being treated like a woman and it offends me if someone calls me a guy instead.
If you're uncomfortable when perceived as a woman and offended when perceived as a man, I definitely think it's worth looking into the possibility that you might be nonbinary! And with regards to the issue of dysphoria, I think it's important to remember that gender euphoria tends to be a better determiner of gender identity than gender dysphoria; in other words, pay attention to what makes you feel happy and affirmed in your gender! Paying attention to the ways in which gender stuff makes you uncomfortable can definitely be a good start, but I personally think that the goal should be figuring out what makes you happy and comfortable, not just running away from what makes you unhappy and uncomfortable. Hope that helps!
@@arysn0w Thank you so much. Unfortunately I dont have any friends or other associates in the same situation so I felt quite helpless and misunderstood by others. I read a lot about the non-binary spectrum before but was scared to call myself like that because it still feels extremely weird and new to me. I lived in a binary society for my whole life and I never even heard about the non-binary spectrum for most time of my life. So I'm still struggling to fully understand it for myself. But you do have a point about gender euphoria. It's definitely a way more positive way to figure out my gender identity. Thanks for your answer and your help. I really needed this!
thanks for the video, this helped a lot! a few months ago i figured i was ftm, and started going by he/him and a different name. recently something hasn't felt entirely right, and i've been experimenting more with different ideas. this brought a lot more into perspective!
I'm so glad it was helpful!!
I came out as agender to a few of my friends a week ago and it was such a relief to do so 💚💚💚💚💚
I'm glad it went well!! 💚💚💚
I'm just wanna ask real quick, does any body use a different name, and what do you use? Tell me, your birth name and name you use, and any suggestions for me, my birth names Bailey, I was born a girl. Yes, I am Non-binary.
Edit:
I settled on the name Skylar. I really liked it, and the nickname Si fits me so well.
I'm so glad you found a name for yourself!
I think I’m nonbinary...
Welcome to the community! 💚
This is great; I appreciate this 💚 I, too, am a nonbinary TH-camr! I'm glad a came across you! Thanks!
I'm glad we crossed paths, as well! I'll have to check out your content at some point (cuz I really like your trailer 😄) ~Maddie
This got me all teary. Thank you for taking the time
Of course! I'm glad it resonated with you! 💚💚
💚
💚💚💚
i've always thought i was a cis girl but started questioning in the last month and it's really frustrating me. i cried while watching this and really can't tell how i feel about these things- if i like identifying that way or don't. i had a friend try out they/them pronouns on me and i still couldn't tell if it felt right or not. i think figuring this out is gonna take a long time for me... thank you for this though.
It can definitely take quite a bit of time to figure everything out. I legitimately questioned my gender for years before I came out, and even now, I find myself questioning if a different gender identity or a different set of pronouns might fit me better. So you're definitely in good company! I'm sorry it's weighing so heavily on your mind, though, and I hope you're able to find the answers you're looking for. Wishing you all the best!
@@arysn0w thank you for this, i've read this message quite a few times and truly appreciate it💚 it's soothing to know i'm not the only one doubting and i hope you're doing well!!
thanks so much for this video- it really helped me. hearing others talking about their experience and what has helped them has helped me too. appreciate u!
I appreciate you, too! Glad it was helpful! :)
I really appreciate you including those hypothetical scenarios-- I've never put myself mentally into situations like those, and I found that they've helped a lot!
I'm so happy to hear that you found them to be helpful!!
aaaaaa I just wanted to say that I loved this video and again and again I find that the LGBT+ community is so welcoming and wholesome, especially to people questioning their sexuality/gender identity.
Not to get into a whole life story but I used to consider myself aroace and then I realized I was bi (but even now im realizing im still on the aro spectrum lmaoo), and I still fly the aroace flags because that was the first lgbt subcommunity I was in. Even during a time of discourse, even just while I was lurking tumblr, I felt welcome there.
I just love yall so much. Happy Pride, and stay safe out there :)
Happy Pride to you, as well! Thank you for sharing your story!! 😊💚
This was such a helpful video 😭 I never started questioning until I became an adult, even though the binary made me uncomfortable. And you're so loving and caring even through a camera lens! I hope everything always goes amazing for you, thanks for the tips ❤❤
You just made my day!! Thank you so much! 😊💚 I hope you have a wonderful day and I wish you the best of luck figuring everything out!
I guess this outs me as something, anyway. I thought I might be straight, but I was never interested in complicated relationships of any kind. I will be 68 at the end of this month. Ever since I was very little, this female born person was only ever comfortable in "boy" clothes, which I insisted on wearing exclusively when I turned 21. At the end of the day, all I want to do is kick back with a dog and a few cats and read. I do not know what that categorizes me as since there seems to be so much variation in everything, but if all of this makes me a part of the LGBTQ community, so be it.
Happy early birthday!! 😊 From what you said about never being interested in complicated relationships and just wanting to spend time with animals and read, it sounds like you might be on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrum! And exclusively wearing "boy" clothes *could* point in the direction of being nonbinary, but you also might just be a more masculine-presenting woman! It's however you feel most comfortable identifying. Hope that helps!
@@arysn0w Oh my gosh, you are SO helpful, my friend! This is such a cool channel!
Thank you SO much for your insight and for helping me to sort this ought. I really had no idea where to start.
@@ElsaBorzoi Thank you so much!! I'm glad I was able to help!
Truly this was so helpful. I've been going through it when it comes to thinking about my gender and its been so stressful and your calm presence put me more at ease, especially to remembr that I don't need to have it all figured out. I've been going back and forth about whether im a trans guy or a transmasc nb person, and its been more complicated by the fact that all the nb people i know and see are white. Being able to see you as a calm and beautiful and black non binary person makes me feel like its gonna be okay.
I feel like I feel at peace being not cis but start to freak out when I think of coming out to my family and coming out professionally.
I get that! For what it's worth, I'm also very much still figuring things out. Now that I've been transitioning publicly for a few years, the question of "how much of this is for me and how much of this for others?" weighs heavily on my mind, and I'm trying to deconstruct that now. Transitioning is a process that never truly ends for a lot of trans folks! And there is absolutely no rush -- not to figure things out, not to come out to others, no rush at all. You're only in a race with yourself and your own perception of where you should be in life, even as it feels like the world is rushing past us. (Also, believe me when I say that I'm also talking to myself right now; this is not a lesson I'm learning well 😅)
That said, knowing that I was able to give you a sense a peace and ease has made my night! I hope you're doing well, friend 😊💕 ~Maddie
Ok this video was awesome, it helped me get closer to understanding my non-binary self! Also I love your hair!!
Thank you so much!! I'm glad it was helpful! 😊💚
I think always playing a guy on Roblox and Minecraft, plus refusing to answer to any other name than Lightning (from the movie Cars) for three years might have been an eeeennncccy tiny little sign :D
Awesome video. Thank you for helping out other non binary and questioning people! The internet is a better place for you being on it.
Definitely sound like signs to me!
And thank you so much!! That truly means the world to me. 😊💚
out of all the videos i’ve watched so far i’ve found yours the most helpful! i’ve been questioning my gender since the beginning of quarantine and i want to be sure that i’m finding an indentity that fits and for the right reasons. “wanting to be non-binary might be a sign that you are” was really affirming bc i just feel like being nb would be more freeing to me.
also your presence is really comforting and made me subscribe hehe :)
I'm so happy to hear that this video was helpful! 😊 Also, thank you so much for your kind words and thank you for subscribing!!
@@arysn0w UPDATE i now identify as genderfluid and my pronouns are she/they :")
@@tenderbri888 I'm so glad you've figured that out for yourself! Congrats! :)
Remember: Just because you identify as non-binary doesn't mean you owe androgyny. You could dress fem or masc and be non binary. GENDER EXPRESSION IS NOT THE SAME AS GENDER IDENTITY. Love to y'all
And also, not always the pronouns should match your appearance or how you identify yourself, you can see yourself masc or identify yourself as non-binary and you can use the pronouns she/them, for example. It is not okay to assume a person's pronouns/gender by how they look, if you are not sure, just ask them respectfully.
You basically just summarized most of my "Spectrum of Identity" video in two comments! I'm impressed! 😁
I'm glad I found this. I just recently, at the help of a therapist, came to terms of being non-binary and SUPER NEW to all of this. Your tips really put everything in perspective. Thank you.
I'm so glad I was able to help!! I wish you the very best of luck!
@@arysn0w Thank you! Means a lot. :-)
I’m cis and I my opinion on this kind of topics was always “this is none of my business, I don’t care”, but now I feel like I should educate myself about them, even if it’s none of my business. Your video was very informative!
Cis allies are super important!! I'm glad it was informative! 😊
Your video was one of the biggest helps on me finding out who I was, and now I identify myself as Demi-gender. Big thanks to you 💚
I'm so honoured to be a part of your journey to self-discovery! 💚💚
honestly gender is so much harder to figure out than sexuality. Like as lesbian even with the internalized nonsense I just have to look at a girl imao. But gender? oh gender, a whole other mess
I think it depends! Like, I'm pretty solidly in the "nonbinary trans woman" camp, and I don't see myself going anywhere anytime soon. (Took me forever to figure that out, though, to your point.) But in the video I just uploaded, I talk about struggling with my sexuality (the labels, not the feelings) because nonbinary people aren't technically included in the definitions of a lot of sexualities. Like, if I'm attracted to women and feminine nonbinary folks, does that make me a lesbian (because I'm attracted exclusively to femininity), or does that make me bisexual (because I'm technically attracted to more than one gender)? And then there's the fact that romantic orientation and sexual orientation are two separate things, and honestly, it's all a recipe for confusion.
Tl;dr it's all a mess, but it's so totally worth it when you figure it all out.
The hypothetical scenarios really helped me so much! I had never thought about it that way before, and I can now say with a lot more certainty than before that I'm probably non-binary! Thank you for making this video!
I'm really glad you found it to be helpful!! 😊
the shoe analogy was really helpful thank you :)
I'm really glad it was helpful!! 😊
These where all very helpful. You saved me from a crisis just now. Thank you so much!
Happy to help!! 😊😊
not me bursting into tears at "if you want to be nonbinary then you probably are".
i came out in january i've been very secure in my identity for months now but that felt very reassuring and i needed that.
Sorry to make you cry, but I'm so glad that we were able to provide you with some reassurance! 😊💚
@@arysn0w
Shimanami Tasogare helped me a lot, lol. The way Anonymous described their gender identity and how they don't really care and happy with whatever label others can give them, is something I can relate to.
I'm not familiar with Shimanami Tasogare, but I'm glad you found it helpful!!
Am I the only one who sees a whole bunch of people saying that non binary people are doing it for attention or to feel special and then start worrying that I'm not actually non binary and then getting super anxious and confused? Help :(( I am surrounded by a whole bunch of nb and trans people and only recently discovered that I may be non binary, and now im worried that im just going through a phase.. and now im super confused and anxiouuusss and nobodys gonna see my comment and asbdjsjajsj
I see your comment! :)
So first and foremost, I want to reassure you that it's completely okay to feel anxiety and confusion when it comes to exploring your gender identity. Take things at your own pace and remember that you are supported and loved.
Regarding your first point, yes, there are people who claim that nonbinary people are attention-seeking. And I sit here and tell you why that's not true, but at the end of the day, I think you already know that. The question that you need to ask yourself is "is my reasoning for thinking that I'm nonbinary rooted in my desire for attention?" Because if the answer is no, then it doesn't really matter what other people say, does it? (I know, easier said than done. Trust me, I've been there.)
Second, I think it's so cool that you're surrounded by trans and nonbinary people! Wish I'd had that when I first emerged. (Sorry, Steven Universe reference. Couldn't help myself.) Seriously, though, if you come to the conclusion that you are, in fact, nonbinary, it sounds like you're gonna have some supportive people in your life to lean on, share resources and information with, etc., and that's really wonderful.
Lastly, I want to reassure you that there's absolutely nothing wrong with phases. Do I think that this is "just a phase?" Eh, probably not. But even if it is, that's totally okay! I feel like we as a community put a lot of pressure on people who are questioning their sexuality/gender to pick a label and stick to it, but that's not always how it works! (In fact, I'd argue that it's *usually* not how it works.) Someone might go through a bi phase, then realize that they're lesbian later on in life, or maybe they'll go through a binary trans phase, only to later realize that they're actually nonbinary! Don't let your uncertainty about who you might be in the future stop you from being exactly who you are now in the present.
Whew, this ended up being a long comment. 😅 But I hope something I've said helps!
Thank you so much- not even joking but at the end of the video I started crying 💚
It honestly means the world to me to hear you say that! I'm so happy that this video resonated with you. 💚
thank you so much for posting this and helping me find who i am. please keep making vids like this they really help.
I'm so glad it was helpful!!
And will do! I'm actually working on one right now. 😊
I think i just got a sign from the universe
I went into a video a little while after watching this and the first comment was about being valid and it had green hearts
That's so cool! Thank you for sharing!! 💚
I am constantly feeling confused. I know that I am not FtM trans but I'm not sure if I fit with just being female either. It made me sad when my mother told me that she would be so happy to finally see me in a dress "looking like an actual girl". I'm not sure what that says about me and I'm still really quite young so I try and push it to the back of my mind to deal with when I'm older but it keeps pushing back and I don't know what to think anymore.
Maybe you could discuss your feelings with her? Or a counselor or a friend or someone? Pushing things to the back of your mind doesn't often work, so you might feel best if you find a way to get everything out in the open. It'll help them understand you better and it also may help you understand yourself better!
What they said
My teacher once asked what my main preferred pronouns were, and now I feel very happy❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍
That's awesome! 😊
@@arysn0w ikr!
This video was really helpful to me. I'm a 21 year-old who's been out as a trans man for about five years now, and been on Testosterone for almost two. When talking with other trans people, I've found that my history and feelings about gender are more complicated than I first thought, and that I might identify outside the gender binary. Thank you for presenting this journey in a positive light and something to be excited about, not scared of :-)
I'm so happy to hear that it was helpful!! Best wishes to you on your journey. 😊
For a very long time, I’ve questioned my gender identity. It was always “male or female?” After a while, I started learning more about the LGBTQ+ and learned about so many more gender identities and sexualities. I never even knew there was such thing as romantic attraction such as biromantic or panromantic. I always identified as bisexual. But I liked more masculine hair and clothing, I hung out with the guys. Sometimes I just wanted to cut off all my hair. I sometimes thought I was male deep inside and nothing else. But I *was* something else. I was researching the different gender identities when something called ‘agender’ caught my eye. I looked it up and I felt like I was at ease. Like I was safe. I was agender. I started experimenting with different pronouns and names and found one I liked. I asked my friend to call me by they/them pronouns and to call me my preferred name. After a while, I felt like I wouldn’t be noticed. Like I wasn’t well known by my community. I wanted to feel comfortable with who I was. I figured out what I was from then on. I started identifying as non-binary. The current girlfriend I had at the time came out to me as non-binary. I was shocked, so many different emotions flooded me. I still loved them. A lot. That was when I started identifying as pansexual.
My name is Sam, I use they/them pronouns, and I’m pansexual.
Nice to meet ya~
It's so nice to meet you, Sam! Thank you for sharing your story. 😊
tip 10 is so... good, I feel comfortable identifying as a girl but at the same time I just want to be in-between and I thought "am I non-binary/demigirl or do I just want to be 'different'" and this tip just made me realise if I want to be different genderwise that means I don't fully feel comfortable in the label I'm in right now. My imposter syndrome just vanished, thank you
Ahhh, I'm so happy to hear that! Impostor Syndrome is the worst, so knowing that this video helped you overcome that means the world to me. 😊