I have been following you, Gadget and Sass but haven't commented as I get in my head thinking my comments are not worthy but I need to let you know that seeing you in all three vlogs you are a very funny and charismatic guy who I am sure lifted up the spirits of Gadget and Sass when they were down, as well as the others on trail and even us watching online. You are golden! Stay gold Soap, stay gold!
Working through our own internal struggles is so difficult and isolating. However, as an outsider looking in at this tramily, you are valued more than you allow yourself to believe. Please give yourself permission to accept the amazing, caring, funny, intelligent person you are! You're a gem!
I have been following different hikers since late Jan, 2024. These emotional/mental upheavals seem to be the norm, part of the experience of life and the trail. Please know and believe you are awesome! You are sharing with us non-hikers (too old) an experience to envy. The young people you are hiking with have their own demons too... The have their own breakdowns ( I prefer the term" reset").. You are too close to finish this amazing accomplishment to let the mental/emotional stress win.!!! You can do this!, You can overcome! You have a team of praying arm chair supporters with you!!! You are truly amazing!! Stay strong!! Please remember " No negative self talk" No negative labels! I use the expression "Get thee behind me Satan" when I experience negative.!! Find your phrase that speaks to you to "reset" .. Sometimes just verbalizing does the trick... I am listening every morning and any other time!!!
You are doing amazing! This journey is difficult mentally an physically. It’s good to express your feelings whether happy, sad, depressed or angry. Keep plugging away! You got this!
Soap, thank you for sharing your vulnerability and honesty. Your self awareness and willingness to evaluate the black dog thoughts give a glimpse into your character. Even as the dog is walking with you, you dig deeper and confront it with tenacity and allow yourself the space to overcome it. I hope one day you can look back on this and see just how damn beautiful it is. We all feel unworthy/unlikable/annoying at times, for without it we would be raging narcissists (that was meant to make you smile). Try not to confuse the need to seclude yourself, with being excluded. In the words of Panache Desai (apologies if it's too hippie dippy for future Soap reading it) I am just an old friend that you asked a long time ago to remind you how brilliant you are. I will just continually deliver that message, until you are finally ready, on every level of your being, to just embrace how magnificent you are. That you’re not broken, and that you don’t need healing and you don’t need teaching, that you don’t need fixing: You are not your stories, you’re not your conditioning, you are not your past, and I know it’s been hard, but you are not that. We have empowered everyone else’s version of us, over our true self. We have taken on the limitations of everyone else, instead of believing in the unlimited potential of what we are meant to be. Happy hiking x
Keep dumping it on us, we're here for you. Sometimes just saying things out loud helps, glad you posted this to put it outside of your head. As they say, fake it till you make it, but it can be f###ing hard!
I started out watching gadget and was quickly drawn to find you to binge watch. The way you have looked out for her and her well being from the very beginning has been so amazing to watch. I don’t know if you even realize that you have been doing it but it made me realize very quickly what a genuine soul you are. They have been very very blessed to have you in their journey.
Thank you for the kind words! Gadget is truly a wonderful person and I feel lucky just to have met her! To have been able to share at least part of this journey with her is something I will forever cherish.
Great Video today. It just shows that the AT is not full of laughter but very tough on body and the mind. Thank you for being honest and we, more than the 12 you mentioned, support you. Good luck from Belfast
Thank you! It is surprising (to me at least) how tough it is mentally - and I felt it was important to finally share one of those “rants”… I must have filmed about a dozen or so of them at earlier points in the trip and not posted them because “I’m fine really” - but the comments, messages, and support I’ve got since I finally posted it have made me wish I’d done it sooner tbh!!
It’s seems like a common occurrence for anyone hiking the trail for it to break you down at times. Not everyone can be at their best 100% of the time. I’m sorry you are feeling it right now. Acknowledging it and talking about it as you have can help you to put it behind you though. From what I see of your videos and those of your hiking partners, you are a treasured member of your Tramily. All of them have sought alone time here and there. It’s part of the natural rhythm. You are doing amazing out there. You’ve got a lot to be proud of. Carry on!
Thank you!! It certainly seems to be something a lot of Thru-Hikers (and many others) go through! I’ve been blown away by all the people who have reached out to me with messages like yours!
It’s so hard to spend endless days with the same group of people sometimes. It’s happens in a normal family so it’s bound to happen in a trail family! Your thoughts and fears are valid. But, don’t dwell on them and let them steal your joy! I sometimes feel all those things as a mother and wife. Tomorrow is a new day. Start fresh. Take charge of what makes you happy and just always remember to treat others as you wish to be treated. Bringing happiness and joy to others can also bring you happiness and joy! I am so proud of your hike! Keeping hiking your hike! ❤
Following you & your tramily journey. Thank you for keeping it real on the trail and sharing your deepest thoughts. Congrats on 1700!!! Looking forward to your continued success on the trail!!! Keep trekking and dump all your thoughts of doubt! You are the glue to the tramily.
There are many of us just like you struggling with our self worth and depending on others to validate us. It’s not fair to us or the people we want to make us feel better about ourselves. I think a thru hike like this is tough. You spend so much time with people and you become so close and really become a family out there but as we all know all families have their dysfunction, their fights and hurt feelings. It’s bound to happen out there at some point. You just get so invested and get so close to one another in this adventure and shared goal. I hope things are much better by now and I wish you joy in this journey. I have so enjoyed your daily videos and coming along on your adventure from the comforts of my couch. Can’t wait to see you on top katahdin.
Do you not know that you are the caring, the maturity of the family. I see how everyone looks up to you. Your a easy going person and gives us a glimpse of one from the other side of the pond. I see your strengths, your caring for people, willing to help. Awesome!!!, your presence there with the family and who you are, is gift to everyone who gets to know and enjoy your friendship. Stay strong , we Love you and appreciate you. Love your self for what your doing, and for what your doing for those around you.
It takes a lot of courage to talk about things like this, but a lot of people will identify with what you're going through. May the days ahead get better.
I guess long distance trekking brings these thoughts an discussions out of most hikers at some time👍. Ok by me if you express yourself. It’s a venting process that relives the pressure between your ears and brings on such relief and comfort 😀
Im listening. One way to go forward is to know youre where you should be . With like minded hikers that have similar insecurities. Getting to the grateful point will snap you out of it . Know i care no matter how it goes and feels. 😊
I've gone through it most my life. I'd always equate it to having spent a good amount of time feeling insignificant or at some heel end of disadvantage. Then when you are made to feel relevant it's exciting. You get used to being significant and kinda hooked on being it because you think to yourself "Wow, so is this how normal people feel all the time?" It comes from being neglected or ignored in some way it led to some trauma wiring or at least that's what it is in my case. It's a thing if you've never been through it it's hard to understand. It just comes down to practice of identifying and understanding how it comes about to why it happens and then learning to relax and not take it so personal. It's like any kind of addiction. You're in the moment and it feels great, something happens where in some moment you aren't getting the same dopamine dump and thus you get caught up in the vortex of one bad thought after the other without a way out of your own head. Once you identify your own wiring it comes down to can I learn to do this recreationally, underground at what point I start getting swept up in the current and stabilize or if not, when do I need to take some alone time to recenter myself? Whatever you find here's hoping you find a good way to stabilize in it all. You're there. That's enough. Live the moment. It'll be over faster than you'll realize and then it's a new battle finding a thing to distract yourself from post trail depression. Find a good metronome like an audio book for an hour or music. You'll find when the rhythm goes along for a while the more regimented your thoughts get. You got this bud. Hope some part of this helps.
I saw a lot of times you were hiking, walking in town & setting up your tent near Gadget, more so than Jess. Wonder if Puma has changed the dynamics of your tramily - threesome.
![ILLSLICK - WINTER IS COMING [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dwTMeM1zIhQ/mqdefault.jpg)
![โรงเรียนดัดสันดาน นักเรียนเถื่อน..!! [โรงเรียนไดเม่]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/vRKPeXn4Fl4/mqdefault.jpg)
I’ve been following your tramily for a long time, believe me, you are an amazing part of that, and it would not have been as much fun without you!❤️
I have been following you, Gadget and Sass but haven't commented as I get in my head thinking my comments are not worthy but I need to let you know that seeing you in all three vlogs you are a very funny and charismatic guy who I am sure lifted up the spirits of Gadget and Sass when they were down, as well as the others on trail and even us watching online. You are golden! Stay gold Soap, stay gold!
Thanks for the comment - it’s gold!!
Working through our own internal struggles is so difficult and isolating. However, as an outsider looking in at this tramily, you are valued more than you allow yourself to believe.
Please give yourself permission to accept the amazing, caring, funny, intelligent person you are!
You're a gem!
Thank you ❤️
I have been following different hikers since late Jan, 2024. These emotional/mental upheavals seem to be the norm, part of the experience of life and the trail. Please know and believe you are awesome! You are sharing with us non-hikers (too old) an experience to envy. The young people you are hiking with have their own demons too... The have their own breakdowns ( I prefer the term" reset").. You are too close to finish this amazing accomplishment to let the mental/emotional stress win.!!! You can do this!, You can overcome! You have a team of praying arm chair supporters with you!!! You are truly amazing!! Stay strong!! Please remember " No negative self talk" No negative labels! I use the expression "Get thee behind me Satan" when I experience negative.!! Find your phrase that speaks to you to "reset" .. Sometimes just verbalizing does the trick... I am listening every morning and any other time!!!
Thank you! The end is getting close now (although that’s a scary thought in itself!!)
You are doing amazing! This journey is difficult mentally an physically. It’s good to express your feelings whether happy, sad, depressed or angry. Keep plugging away! You got this!
Really appreciate the kind words and support - it means a lot!!
Thank you for your honesty. In a way you've helped me gain some insight to myself. Stay well!!!
Soap, thank you for sharing your vulnerability and honesty. Your self awareness and willingness to evaluate the black dog thoughts give a glimpse into your character. Even as the dog is walking with you, you dig deeper and confront it with tenacity and allow yourself the space to overcome it. I hope one day you can look back on this and see just how damn beautiful it is. We all feel unworthy/unlikable/annoying at times, for without it we would be raging narcissists (that was meant to make you smile). Try not to confuse the need to seclude yourself, with being excluded.
In the words of Panache Desai (apologies if it's too hippie dippy for future Soap reading it)
I am just an old friend that you asked a long time ago to remind you how brilliant you are. I will just continually deliver that message, until you are finally ready, on every level of your being, to just embrace how magnificent you are.
That you’re not broken, and that you don’t need healing and you don’t need teaching, that you don’t need fixing:
You are not your stories, you’re not your conditioning, you are not your past, and I know it’s been hard, but you are not that.
We have empowered everyone else’s version of us, over our true self.
We have taken on the limitations of everyone else, instead of believing in the unlimited potential of what we are meant to be.
Happy hiking x
This is just a mental hug, and an «I see you» from a person who totally resonates with your “ramblings” today.
You do really rock!
Thank you!!
Congratulations on 1700! You are doing amazing ❤
I can relate to a lot of what you said. Saying it out loud helps. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you - it felt weird to say it out loud (especially to the camera) but it definitely helped me
Keep dumping it on us, we're here for you. Sometimes just saying things out loud helps, glad you posted this to put it outside of your head. As they say, fake it till you make it, but it can be f###ing hard!
I started out watching gadget and was quickly drawn to find you to binge watch. The way you have looked out for her and her well being from the very beginning has been so amazing to watch. I don’t know if you even realize that you have been doing it but it made me realize very quickly what a genuine soul you are. They have been very very blessed to have you in their journey.
Thank you for the kind words!
Gadget is truly a wonderful person and I feel lucky just to have met her! To have been able to share at least part of this journey with her is something I will forever cherish.
We all love you Soap! You got this all the way to the end!
Thank you so much ❤️
Great Video today. It just shows that the AT is not full of laughter but very tough on body and the mind. Thank you for being honest and we, more than the 12 you mentioned, support you. Good luck from Belfast
Thank you! It is surprising (to me at least) how tough it is mentally - and I felt it was important to finally share one of those “rants”… I must have filmed about a dozen or so of them at earlier points in the trip and not posted them because “I’m fine really” - but the comments, messages, and support I’ve got since I finally posted it have made me wish I’d done it sooner tbh!!
You hang in there! From what I’ve seen they all love you!! Don’t quit, stay strong, you are so important and things will work out!
It’s seems like a common occurrence for anyone hiking the trail for it to break you down at times. Not everyone can be at their best 100% of the time. I’m sorry you are feeling it right now. Acknowledging it and talking about it as you have can help you to put it behind you though. From what I see of your videos and those of your hiking partners, you are a treasured member of your Tramily. All of them have sought alone time here and there. It’s part of the natural rhythm. You are doing amazing out there. You’ve got a lot to be proud of. Carry on!
Thank you!! It certainly seems to be something a lot of Thru-Hikers (and many others) go through! I’ve been blown away by all the people who have reached out to me with messages like yours!
It’s so hard to spend endless days with the same group of people sometimes. It’s happens in a normal family so it’s bound to happen in a trail family! Your thoughts and fears are valid. But, don’t dwell on them and let them steal your joy! I sometimes feel all those things as a mother and wife. Tomorrow is a new day. Start fresh. Take charge of what makes you happy and just always remember to treat others as you wish to be treated. Bringing happiness and joy to others can also bring you happiness and joy! I am so proud of your hike! Keeping hiking your hike! ❤
Thank you for the advice! ❤️
Soap thanks for sharing. Congratulations on 1700
❤😊 You got this , one hiking day at a time !!! !!!!!
We all have our moments. 😉 It's okay to talk about it. Sending prayers Soap. 🙏
Following you & your tramily journey. Thank you for keeping it real on the trail and sharing your deepest thoughts. Congrats on 1700!!! Looking forward to your continued success on the trail!!! Keep trekking and dump all your thoughts of doubt! You are the glue to the tramily.
An amazing way for a Brit to see America. 2k miles of it on foot. Color me impressed.
There are many of us just like you struggling with our self worth and depending on others to validate us. It’s not fair to us or the people we want to make us feel better about ourselves.
I think a thru hike like this is tough. You spend so much time with people and you become so close and really become a family out there but as we all know all families have their dysfunction, their fights and hurt feelings. It’s bound to happen out there at some point. You just get so invested and get so close to one another in this adventure and shared goal.
I hope things are much better by now and I wish you joy in this journey.
I have so enjoyed your daily videos and coming along on your adventure from the comforts of my couch. Can’t wait to see you on top katahdin.
Thank you for the wise words! Really appreciated!!
Do you not know that you are the caring, the maturity of the family. I see how everyone looks up to you. Your a easy going person and gives us a glimpse of one from the other side of the pond. I see your strengths, your caring for people, willing to help. Awesome!!!, your presence there with the family and who you are, is gift to everyone who gets to know and enjoy your friendship. Stay strong , we Love you and appreciate you. Love your self for what your doing, and for what your doing for those around you.
Me? The mature one? Did you just call me “old”???
Seriously though, I really appreciate the kind words!
Keep going Super Soper, everyone has bad days. 💪
It takes a lot of courage to talk about things like this, but a lot of people will identify with what you're going through. May the days ahead get better.
I guess long distance trekking brings these thoughts an discussions out of most hikers at some time👍. Ok by me if you express yourself. It’s a venting process that relives the pressure between your ears and brings on such relief and comfort 😀
Thank you ❤️
Sorry your feeling down. Just try and remember this my friend, helps me sometimes. Life's A Journey, Enjoy The Ride. You got this I have faith in you.
I blame your mum! Glad to see you back with the others at the end. xx
You are going through your mental PUDs right now. (Profound ups and downs!!!) Hang in there; you are growing!
Im listening. One way to go forward is to know youre where you should be . With like minded hikers that have similar insecurities. Getting to the grateful point will snap you out of it . Know i care no matter how it goes and feels. 😊
Thank you - I always appreciate your support!!
I've gone through it most my life. I'd always equate it to having spent a good amount of time feeling insignificant or at some heel end of disadvantage. Then when you are made to feel relevant it's exciting. You get used to being significant and kinda hooked on being it because you think to yourself "Wow, so is this how normal people feel all the time?" It comes from being neglected or ignored in some way it led to some trauma wiring or at least that's what it is in my case. It's a thing if you've never been through it it's hard to understand. It just comes down to practice of identifying and understanding how it comes about to why it happens and then learning to relax and not take it so personal. It's like any kind of addiction. You're in the moment and it feels great, something happens where in some moment you aren't getting the same dopamine dump and thus you get caught up in the vortex of one bad thought after the other without a way out of your own head. Once you identify your own wiring it comes down to can I learn to do this recreationally, underground at what point I start getting swept up in the current and stabilize or if not, when do I need to take some alone time to recenter myself?
Whatever you find here's hoping you find a good way to stabilize in it all. You're there. That's enough. Live the moment. It'll be over faster than you'll realize and then it's a new battle finding a thing to distract yourself from post trail depression. Find a good metronome like an audio book for an hour or music. You'll find when the rhythm goes along for a while the more regimented your thoughts get. You got this bud. Hope some part of this helps.
Thank you! I definitely spiral too much - but I am working on it.
Is gadget off trail
I saw a lot of times you were hiking, walking in town & setting up your tent near Gadget, more so than Jess. Wonder if Puma has changed the dynamics of your tramily - threesome.