Gen Z Is Intentionally Vilifying Motherhood
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- There is a trend on TikTok of women collecting a pros and cons list for having children. In the majority of the videos, women are adding things to the "cons" list and discouraging women from having kids. A journalist at NBC News recently wrote a story on the viral trend and of course, brought the conversation back to Roe V Wade and other feminist "issues".
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The longer time goes on, the more embarrassed I am to be a part of this generation.
Same.
Me too
*a part
Ah dont be.
I have two sons and they are great and their friends too.
There are good nice kids.
They dont yell loud like the crazy ones do.
🥰
Be proud to be an exception. I'm a millennial and I hate half of mine lol
Hot take: if TikTok can talk you out of having kids, you shouldn’t have kids.
True
Great point!
That not a hot take , if any social media
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
There's nothing wrong about reducing quantity. Europe survived on a much smaller population since the 18th century.
I’m a woman and I’ve always known that having children would never be for me. Now I’m 28 and I still never want children. But all those women out there who do want children and those who already have them have my respect.
Same! I'm 41 years old and never had the desire. Now, one week out of a hysterectomy, I still don't. But am grateful to all mothers who endure the pain of birth!
Moist Crumpet!! Omg I love that user name! Lol 😂
They don't have mine.
@@sweetpotatopie9832 they should especially your own mother, mother and yes even fathers give you life
@@analog-dEVA
“Motherhood is not for me. And neither is chastity”. The result of this “philosophy” is a majority of women mutilating themselves, physically (in the form of surgeries) or chemical (in the form of contraceptives). In this generation we medicalize the healthy body in an attempt to distort (and therefor improve) our nature.
I’m currently pregnant with my first and the way people react to pregnancy and pregnant women is insane. People act like I’m going to die, or I’m being sent off to war. When I tell people I want more kiddos, with four or more being the ideal, they look at me like I should be committed
Lol that's why I tell people I want 10 kids whenever it comes up 😂 I love the shocked look on their faces.
Because it seems crazy to have that many
To be fair, have your first before you decide on how many more..I have two and pregnant with third and until they’re here you won’t realize the amount of time they will need and you’re going to want to give enough attention to all equally
EXACTLY!!! Stop fear mongering such NARURAL and NORMAL processes
Well it's a bad idea. Stop f*cking like rabbits. You are making the overpopulation issue worse.
As a mom, it's the most beautiful experience to go through. Is it scary sometimes? Sure. Hard? Yup. But I wouldn't change it for any thing in the world.
As a mentally unstable girl with anger issues and a lot of trauma I chose not to have children for their own good I know I won't be a good mom and I just can't stand children in general aaaaaand Iran is the worst place to have children
@@middleeasternforhire8985 no one can ever claim that you're not wise. It takes an intelligent person to understand where they're at in life and make good choices based on that understanding. ❤️
@Middle eastern for hire I'm not saying people have to have kids. Majority of my friends are childless. That's their choice and I support whatever they have going on in life. I'm just the type that made the choice I love being a mom.
Life is meant to be, in part, scary and hard. If one's life is never scary or hard they are not building the fibre of character that a person is born to actually produce. With each scary or hard moment, a person can look back on it and go 'look what I have faced and survived, look what I have accomplished'. And of course the secret sauce is that everyone's life will get scary or hard about something at some time. If you've spent a lifetime hiding on your bed, it will find you and you won't be ready.
Generally speaking, if something isn't at least a little challenging, it isn't worth doing. The best things in life are often the hardest, most risky, or most challenging to do.
I got pregnant when I was 20 years old. I was the first one in my entire extended family to get pregnant before I was married. My family just assumed I was going to get an abortion and when I said absolutely not, they were shocked. 10 years later, I have the most beautiful daughter, who they all adore so much.
It's easy to adore a kid when you aren't the one taking care of it
What a blessing to have a child and be young. I am happy for you!
@ your sarcasm is not needed
@@FranklinHicks-qs4gs I'm not sarcastic lol
@ your comment was :p
In a way this is probably a good thing. Those who let TikTok tell them motherhood is bad probably shouldn't be mothers.
Those on tik-tok period, probably are not fit to have children.
THe issue is that they're going to teach young girls to have abortions and neuter themselves, then those girls will grow up and realize they actually would have loved having kids but now can't. Luckily, adoption is still a thing (tho super hard to get through the paperwork and waitlist)
People who probably shouldn't have children have them anyway, no matter who or what tries to stop them. They're not going to listen to TikTok.
oh. good point actually
Tik Tok is run by the Chinese
here’s my thing, i’m 16 and i know for certain i do not want children for many reasons like health complications, being responsible for someone else completely and having to carry for 9 months. i’ve known this about myself since i was very young. my mother says i hated children when i was in kindergarten. tik tok hasn’t changed my opinion on that but i can’t believe people are that easily influenced not to have children
Same! When I was a kid I thought that other kids were stupid and annoying because they cried for no valid reason, they put toys or pencils in their mouths, got dirty ecc. and because of that my parents never even ask me if I want children because they already know that I don’t.
@@auroraottaviano9664 also just the heavy burden of having to depend on someone else (husband, boyfriend or baby daddy if he isn’t in the picture) would stress me to death. i’d rather never having to experience that pressure, saw my mom go through it and don’t think i could do it myself. that’s another thing (i realize i’m just having some word vomit rn bare with me) my parents, especially my dad were awful to me and my brother growing up. i haven’t seen my dad in nearly five years because i don’t want to associate with that fear and hatred anymore! having split parents is awful and i would never want to put a child through anything i went through!! i agree 100% with what you said aswell!🫶
Same, I'm fifteen, and never in my life I wanted to have children, I just felt like I had to do it because every woman in my entourage did it, but this trend honestly just emphasized my want to not want children, I've seen many parents in the comments saying that yes it is hard but when you see your child you forget about everything else, what if I am not able to do? What if I am a bad parent? And especially in this time, I don't wanna bring a child into this f*cked and awful world that made me have so many traumas, honestly I wish my parents didn't bring me into this world for so many reasons, does it mean I'm mad at my mom or don't love her? Absolutely not, she made and still makes a lot of effort to make my life better, and I'm so grateful for that. I consider adoption, but I don't trust myself in becoming a good mother, and I absolutely hate the gaslighting that my family or friends do to me when I say I don't want children, I'm still young maybe I'm gonna change my mind later, even If I don't think so because of so many reasons and things I don't wanna go through especially because I'm easily traumatized, but it's my choice and my life, how is it gonna affect anyone if I decide to not have children? "But you're gonna end up alone." And? What about it? How do you know what's gonna happen in the future? Plus it's ME who's gonna end up alone, not them, so why do they care?
I agree with your opinion still at 16 you are still a child yourself in many aspects in time if u still dont want kids it's absolutely fine, just at 16 noone wants kids even if they think they do.
same, i just feel like i cant take care of myself properly so why would i be better at taking care of a newborn😭😭😭😭😭😭 but also, i respect those who want/have kids
Currently halfway through my pregnancy at 22 (with my husband, mind you) and when I told most of my friends their first response was to ask if I was going to get an abortion rather than ‘congratulations’.
The world is a weird place filled with selfish and evil people. Protect yourself and your family. Find support in eachother.
Congratulations! Hope you have a healthy baby and great health to take care of yourself and your family. Hope you love and care for your child and I hope they return that love wholeheartedly. Bless you!❤
Congratulations to you, I hope your answer came in the form of four-letter words.
Oof. Get new friends.
Well if your friends don’t want to say it to you, congratulations to you and your husband!
This makes me sad and angry. I’ve dealt with infertility for 3 years. I would do anything for a little one coming to wake me up in the middle of the night because they don’t feel good
@joy I think it's a classic "you don't know what you have until it's gone," and I think that be in reference to the ability to have a child.
Tons of people change their minds about wanting kids over time.
Sadly, we live in a world where some parents outright wish their kids were dead.
i know it not the same but a lot of kids need a home and will be more than happy to have you has their mom ...
So sorry! Praying for you. I thought that the other night and thanks God I had a baby waking me up. Sometimes those are the sweetest bonding moments
Infertility should be seen as a blessing.
My mother kept having miscarriages, it was clear to her and my father that they’d never have kids by biological means. But they caught wind of a young girl who was pregnant and couldn’t take care of a child cause she was single and still very young, they jumped at the chance. Drove 10 hours to be at the delivery room and adopted me on the spot. They did the same with my little brother from a different family. Because of this, I know a huge community of adopted kids and all see their parents as true parents. I’d highly recommend this is you long for a child, because I can assure you that in this day and age, there’s definitely a child who needs a parent that will actually love them
I'm 37 weeks pregnant and am so so glad I didn't experience crap like this as a young kid. I was already scared of having children (my mom almost died due to a surgeon's mistake in a post-birth surgery when she had my younger brother) and being exposed to this kind of negativity probably would have kept me willfully childless. At 26 I've come to realize that being a mother is what I was always meant to do with my life, and seeing popular media geared towards young women vilify and nullify femininity (via contraception, abortion, radical feminism, and the trans movement) is really hard to watch.
Prepare for several decades of misery
I wish you the best
@@FranklinHicks-qs4gs it's too bad that you didn't raise yours right. Must suck to suck I guess.
@@edmondgreen7970 jokes on you. I got snipped duma$$
Congratulations!(I’m 10 weeks along with my second)
I pray that you and your baby will be healthy and strong.
I'm 26 years old and 24 weeks pregnant with my first child. Did I realize how much it would change my body? Nope. Am I still glad I'm pregnant with a little boy? Absolutely. It has been an incredible experience becoming aware of what my body is capable of, and I already love my little son more than I can understand.
I didn’t grow up ever really wanting to be a mom, but I am so glad I was able to get pregnant. I am so excited to be a mother and grateful I get to go through pregnancy, even if it is difficult.
Edit: He was born safely and my heart is so filled with joy I can't really express it. Motherhood is beautiful beyond words.
Congratulations!!! There is TH-cam channel called built to birth. I loved watching it during my pregnancies
Congrats . I'm on my 6th pregnancy currently 81 days away from having my sweet baby.
@@As-fk1rb YAY!! My baby was born safe and sound, and I could not be more in love.
Congrats!!! I felt the same! I have a nearly 4m old girl now and your body does bounce back! I'm 30 so I promise it will for you! I breastfeed and it tales up ALL of my time. Sometimes I don't eat at all until 4 pm because I'm taking care of her alone and I don't have time and she's already teething and needs me more. But it's worth it. I used to mock people who said that but it's true. I was lucky and didn't get post partum and I can't imagine how hard that would be. But it's not all bad like the left tends to say.
Boy mom here I agree little dudes are awesome
It’s strange to people when I tell them I intend on becoming a housewife and stay home mom. They’re very discouraging of it saying things like “oh you can’t let your husband control you” or “but don’t you have your OWN dreams in life?” I feel ostracized and looked down upon and I know a lot of women who feel the same.
I'm a stay at home mom, I worked until I became pregnant and told my husband I don't want a stranger to raise someone I created and be with someone more than me. It was the best decision I could've made for myself; I loved working but seeing my son every day is the best job I could've taken. My dream was to be a mother, that is what I wanted to be all my life and people still would say that sounds boring. Unless you've been there, you'd know it's anything but.
Brush your shoulders off and keep doing the hardest and most rewarding job ever. 💗 I've been a stay at home mom for 12 years (4 kids) and it's amazing the condescending comments I've heard and they were spoken in such a nonchalant manner, as if what they were saying wasn't incredibly insulting. You got this!
I understand you completely. People can’t seem to fathom how being a sahm could possibly be our own choice. To me, it is the biggest blessing to be able to raise my children and I’m grateful to my husband for providing for our family.
@@monicageller226 well stated. 👏🏼
@@botanicalbecca8443 the thing I don't get about those comments are didn't our grandmothers and great grandmothers fight for the right of choice? To be able to have the choice to do what THEY want and not what society dictates them to do? I refused to be a part of the female population that always worked when I had children who depended on me and needed a good role model in their lives. It was my choice to do this but I was thankful my husband backed me up on it because a lot of younger men today would rather their partner work.. 🤷
Currently a mom to 3 kiddos, and was the first out of my friend group to get married (at 21 years old) and have kids (23 years old). The idea that kids are a burden is disgusting to me. If my husband would let me have more I absolutely would without a second thought. Children are blessings. Always.
Amen.. .. I love all my babies even the one I misscarried... I'm on number 5 and a house full of love and laughter and joy(sometimes crazy and screaming) it's all amazing the easy good parts and the hard parts
Best thing ever. It isn’t just having a baby , it’s creating a family . It’s been a wonderful ride watching these people develop.
Children can be a burden, especially given how harsh the environment (economically and socially) is around you.
@@dranixrush3306 It isn’t the child’s fault. If you have a child in a poor environment, that’s on you. Not the child’s.
@@KGrace0001 There's truth there for the most part, but things happen. Children can be a drain on resources and one's mental fortitude. And having a kid restricts you from a lot of things in life.
I’m currently in the hospital after giving birth to my third son and couldn’t be happier I get to share my body with this beautiful human to create life and then sustain his life with the milk my body creates.
The cons of pregnancy are much fewer than the pros. This lady is literally listing the most bogus reasons which should be proof enough that she doesn’t have many good reasons.
Oh yeah, and I’m now a proud mom of 3 white males who are not inherently bad for being white or male. Thank God I’m not a liberal mom.
I hope you recover soon best health for you and the baby ❤❤❤
God bless you and congratulations on the new little guy!
Congratulations!! Thank the Lord your three boys have a great mother with a good head on her shoulders and common sense. God bless you and your family!
at this day and age, any minor inconvenience is a form of oppression, or in this case, a con
The "Baby = Parasite" reason was all I needed to know with how those morons think.
Having my daughter was the best thing that's ever happened to me. I was fortunate to have her. I can't imagine not being a mother. What a beautiful experience!
Personally I wouldn’t want to go through the pain of childbirth but I would definitely want to be a mom. Going to adopt 100%
@@ils6698 You know they are legally required to offer you anesthetic, right?
It may be the best experience for you, but it’s not for everyone. Everyone has their own definition of the ideal life and best experience, rightfully so. You can’t just expect ALL WOMEN to conform to and follow traditions. Some women want to travel, and honestly, that’s the best experience any human can have not just women.
@@iknowexactlywhoyouare8701 probably won't respond, but I'm geniunely interested in why you do what you do. I can rarely pin any of you down to step outside your box and talk about it. You've spammed that almost everywhere in this comment section. Please @ me if you'd be so kind to geniunely talk about what motivates you. Not about adoption or travel btw lol. We got that you like those. Just about why you spam.
@@ALJ9000
It is still painful
So funny to listen to you talk about childbirth 😄 I have 4 children and had difficult pregnancy with each but I'm so thankful for each of my babies. I was an extreme tomboy who never dreamed about having babies but can't imagine my life without them,ages 2 -7 years. The older they get the more fun we have. I think these people forget that babies grow up and you get to share your hobbies and interests with them.nothing better than drawing, journaling,gardening, hiking and traveling with my husband and kiddos ❤🩷🩵
I had 3 had pregnancies and one miscarriage and am easy one and so far this one is going pretty easy.. my c section tho was horrible my spinal.block wore off to soon, but it don't matter I don't even remember the pain much but I can still hear my babies first cry and just being lazy with her for days snuggling and staring at that beautiful baby face....
I'd go thru all the worst for my babies really doesn't matter to me they make me so happy it takes all the pain away.
The list made me wanna hug my mom instead of not wanting a child lol
As a mother, this makes me happy. ❤️
@@marycelalopez Selfish
@Sweet Potato Pie hush child
@@sweetpotatopie9832 You are selfish one.
Even as someone who doesn't want kids we need to stop shaming those who do. Being a mother is one of the greatest things you can do.
how come no one says that about fatherhood??
As someone who just had a beautiful baby girl back in November, I wouldn’t trade ANY of those reasons for her. She is EVERYTHING to me and the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I would go through the morning sickness, labor and birth and everything else I went through 10x over to have my baby girl. I do not understand these moms.
We have a 7 year old son, 5 year old son, and a daughter who just turned 4. No better decision made in our lives.
@@nddugas right? They are so precious and I’m sure it is so awesome seeing them all grow too🥰
@@makaylaellett5002 Absolutely. And they are so different from one another. My oldest is very technically minded, liking to see how things work and loving math and science. My middle son loves English and reading/has been ahead in language since 18 months. My daughter just absorbs everything and is a little chatterbox. There have been times where she just talks and tells stories (literally) non-stop to where I have to remind her to eat her food. 🤣
@@nddugas oh that is awesome! Definitely makes me want to have more kids 🥰 I saw one of the reasons to not have a kid is because they are little versions of ourselves and I’m like how tf is that a reason NOT to have a kid?? These girls make no sense. & I feel bad for their kids if any of them see that on social media in the future ☹️ I’d be heartbroken if my mom was saying stuff like that all over social media…
Adoption is better
I'm never having kids, but I will never shame those who do.
I didn't want kids before it became a TikTok trend. If these lot want to chase people they don't like based on their choice. Why not go after pregnant women who are cool with smoking a pack a day? I'm happy being an Aunt and spoiling my siblings kids.
@@cfowler7936 Yeah exactly, or abusive or absent mothers who only became mothers because they were teached they should, then regret it and hate, abuse or abandon their kids
And the same should go for the other side. The folks that shame people for not wanting children.
@@chynaanderson494 it's horrible that people shame others for not wanting children like not everyone wants the same things out of life. People should respect others decisions.
Giving birth and being a mother is not easy. It’s quite lonesome sometimes, it’s extremely tiring and frustrating, but my life would be miserable without my boys.
I’m a mother of a 3 year old and I’m pregnant again, they’re my everything.
I’ll turn 30 in November, and I can’t imagine a life without my kids. They make my life complete.
So great . But imagine you go to your friends and talk all day how bad is to have child, what would do your friends? Not have a child cause all women let themself be brainwashed from someone
What I've learned in my own pregnancies and reading hundreds of stories, it is VERY rare two women have the exact same pregnancy experience. My first was ridiculously easy and pain free, this second one I've got some severe lower back pain and my morning sickness was horrible! But would I do it again ? Yes because most likely that third pregnancy would be different again 🤷 it shouldn't be something to fear, Brett's right that our body's are created for this! Doesn't mean you have to have kids! To each their own ❤️
Also, women's bodies are INSANE when it comes to recovering after childbirth. My mom had tears when she had my brother, and healed up perfectly fine. Childbirth does this wild thing and they didn't need to numb her up down there afterward because the body numbs itself on its own. She had an episiotomy with me, and... that was no big deal, because she had an epidural. 😂 She chose one with me because her doctor just BROKE HER WATER WITHOUT HER PERMISSION, and my head was pushing against her spine in an agonizing way. So, getting sewn up for the episiotomy was no big deal, either.
Considering the term _uterine massage_ is a real thing associated with C-sections, I hope and PRAY I can do a natural delivery some day. 😅
People still die in childbirth, you know
Why is no one mentioning overpopulation, if everyone had 3 children we would very quickly run out of resources and land space, poverty, homelessness and malnutrition rates would skyrocket the air quality would be much worse (Due to a decrease in trees and an increase in CO2 production) as we take more land many species of animals will go extinct and animals attacking humans will become much more common as we will be the most available food source.
Now onto the economy side of things: Let's assume you're doing the legal minimum for your child, so around $20 on food per week (0-3) $40 per week (4-11) $60 per week (12-18), $60 on clothes every year, $300 on medical stuff every year, $500 for a crib (0-3), $1000 for a bed (4-18), $1000 on education every year (6-18), you would still spend roughly $62,000 raising a single child (This is if you are doing the bare legal minimum, so the child will be unhealthy due to decreased medical availability and decreased food consumption, have no entertainment whatsoever, worse education because they will have no school supplies and a worsened sleep due to sleeping on the same bed for 15 years.)
Onto the biological and psychological side of things, many people have fertility issues, STDs and/or multiple other barriers. Additionally around 10% of the population is LGBTQIA+ and the only ones out of those people willing to reproduce are bisexuals and aromantics. Some people just don't want to have a child, some people who try experience miscarriages and some just aren't able and/or willing to find a partner.
Not to mention that raising a child takes a lot of time and effort, time which many people don't have. Children also cause a lot of stress, which isn't good for your mental health, you would have to balance a job with raising a child that can be tough.
I decided way before social media existed that I didn't want kids. I have not regretted that choice. Not all of us want to be parents. For some reason I never had that maternal instinct. Never felt that desire. I've often wondered if there is something wrong with me as a woman, because it's just not there.
Rest assured there’s nothing wrong with you. Having a child is the biggest sacrifice one can make, and should only be made by those who are most willing. Any reason not to have them is a good reason, no matter how superficial.
I'm 34 and no desire for kids. So you're not alone
There's nothing wrong with you. You were meant to impact the world in a different way.
I'm in the same boat and have been called horrid names for it. 😢
I used to be the same at 17 and less. I promised myself I would never marry and have kids. But the maternity instinct came at 18. Just not the sexual one...
I've never felt a strong urge to be a mother and my husband isn't interested in having kids either. Even so, I've offered my time and resources to either babysit, bring dinners, or be a helping hand to other mothers. Mother's sacrifice so much to raise the next generation. I think that everyone should have the option to choose whether or not if they want kids. For me I don't, but I'm not going to put down what other women want and even as a nonreligious person, I will always be prolife ❤️
This is a beautiful and well said comment. Agreed and love it, even when I'm on the having-kids-one-day side 😄
Ditto girl! My spouse and I are the same!!. We don't care what option you choose. Being involved in community can be just as productive to reproduce a better future for the next generation!
Same here. I'm not interested in having kids, and I'm glad people are being more open and honest about the difficult side of things. In the past, it used to be all sunshine and rainbows, like nobody was allowed to talk about the hard stuff. It seems like a lot of people would like it to go back to that, but I think that would be bad for everybody. There's nothing wrong with women being more informed about the difficukties they might experience if they choose the path of motherhood.
I'm child free at 34. Never want kids but I'm pro choice. No issues if you want your own kids but I don't think either side should push or hate on the other.
@@katlincleary1988 people who don't want kids can choose to not have sex and also choose to have surgery.
(In case of rape, incest or high risk of death it should be allowed to have abortion, but anything else no imo)
Brett should do a segment about her own comment section. It's so heartwarming here. So many young mothers admitting that being a mother or getting pregnant is something that they wanted and feel great about. Not a single piece of how evil men are controlling them, how awful they feel, how terrible kids are etc. Proud of you, young ladies.
Adoption is way better than pregnancy though
@@iknowexactlywhoyouare8701 .,.
@@iknowexactlywhoyouare8701 you do know that adopted babies still came from a pregnant mother.. *right?*
@@God-eo9zj sometimes such thoughts crosses over peoples heads.
@@noaharthur9041 i know this will ruin it if it is a joke but please..tell me your joking
Definitely intentional. WEF released that whole concept for pod babies a little while back. They want to own our kids and eliminate our desire to have our own.
I have seen this and the video to go with it. Scary shit indeed…
Adoption is way better though
I’m the mom of 5 amazing kids: endured pregnancy and sleepless nights during my 20s and early 30s. Sacrificed financially, physically, emotionally and I would do it all over in an instant. The love my husband and I have for our children and the way they have enriched our lives is worth any sacrifice. I realize kids aren’t for everyone but I love how every little thing like blowing bubbles or snow is something magical in the eyes of a child and then you get to watch them grow into an amazing and independent person that you brought into the world. My life was pretty self centered before I had kids and I’m so grateful they taught me what really matters in life! We live in an area where there aren’t a lot of big families, whenever someone asks if all 5 are mine I say, “yes and I’m proud of every single one of them.”
One day at a time! You got this! 😊 You are the best person equipped for your unique child.
i don't know why but reading your comment gave me hope and positive vibes you have my respect
Tbh I feel that the people who are so against having kids would likely be terrible parents anyway.
No they are the best parents they didn't bring their children into this world with potential suffering!
@@JSM-bb80u
Agreed.. I love my kids too much to bring them into this world
I'm a woman and I have absolutely no maternal instincts for children or even the slightest desire for them. However, I still like to work with children and help them as my teaching job. But I never desired to have my own. I think either way, instincts or not- wanting to have kids or not or whatever - ultimately what it comes down to is being kind to children, whether they are your own or they belong to other people.
I am exactly the same - I’m going to start studying to become a teacher this fall but I don’t want to have my own kids, I’ve already pretty much raised my siblings because off the age difference and that was enough for me to see that I do now want to have my own kids
I was about to comment the same thing! I don’t hate kids, but I also have ZERO maternal instincts not to mention other things like childbirth and affordability that just doesn’t make me want to have kids. However, I still very much love my nephew and my friend’s kids. I just don’t have the desire to have kids of my own. I wasn’t inspired by tik tok feminism either to not have kids, it’s just my own personal choice.
Same here. But I love children, but I have so many things going on with my family that I don't think I can be ready for having a child.
I get it. I was terrified to have kids and thought my life would be "over" if I did. Then I had an unplanned pregnancy. Pregnancy/birth/postpartum was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through, and though it took me months to get there, eventually motherhood did become the greatest gift God had given me. Yeah I've had to grow a lot more selfless. But in return, my capacity for joy expanded. My capacity for love expanded. My sense of purpose expanded. Nobody had told me how much joy being a mom would bring me, and if they had I wouldn't have understood. It truly is one of those things you won't get unless you experience it yourself. But from someone who's been there, let me say- the pros do indeed greatly outweigh the cons.
@@nostalgicrobot she just did, you miserable troll
Absolutely this. Having a child matures you and helps you gain perspective that few other life experiences can. You can’t explain it to people who haven’t experienced it unfortunately.
Besides most of the cons don't even apply to most women, it's just complications that can happen for some.
The backlash of not wanting kids in the first place is a lot less than the backlash of having a kid and then hating motherhood. We do need to be talking more about the cons of pregnancy and motherhood. I was only fed pros growing up and was told it was my duty as a woman to have children. I support any woman who doesn't want kids.
Same.
I agree with you but, I think she was more so pointing out the absurdity of some of the cons, like too many buttons on a onsie.
There's nothing inherently wrong with not wanting children yourself, but there is something wrong with trying to convince others that they don't (or do, for that matter) want children unless they're already on the fence about it and actively seeking your advice/input.
Have you considered that maybe your life is not meant to be about you and what you want?
Perhaps there is something bigger and more important then yourself you could work toward?
Perhaps the family is one of those things?
One thing that I noticed when learning about Roman life was how there names are an after thought. The identity of Roman was so important that the individuality of their names was almost forgotten. They had purpose and knew they were apart of something bigger. Life was much hard and downright repressive, yet they didn't have a mental health crisis......
@@willcresson8776 Family is the structure of all civilization. The longest running study on human happiness found that family is by far the best method. Given these facts I don't see why you wouldn't encourage those you love and care about to have kids and build their own family. Pushing good ideas and a positive vision of the future is a net good. Having kids isn't the only option, but it is the best option.
This is seriously NOT a big deal. I was icked out when I saw a pregnancy video in 7th grade and swore I'd never have kids. Guess what? I grew up, I fell in love, and decided to have a family.
Crazy how people do change and some don't. I'm 34 and still no desire to have kids.
Yeah what’s scary is as girl I think we’ve ALL felt this way when getting out “talks”. But now that it’s a sort of social contagion and there’s peer pressure added, people are wasting their chance. And then simultaneously ignoring all the OTHER videos of 40+ yr old women crying because they’re lonely and can’t have kids or find a husband. Destructive lies propagated by the Satan
Evolutionary biology urges women to pass on their genes. It’s completely natural for women to have that urge.
Women who don’t have children are ending their biological line. Evolutionary biology doesn’t like that.
No desire for having a baby. The act of something coming out your body is not beautiful imo in the slightest. Pure body horror to core , I’ve always hated the idea.
It really isn’t a big deal. I later found out I couldn’t after I chose not to, but it didn’t change my lifestyle and my bond with my husband. We have been fine without kids and will continue to be fine without them. No shame to those who have them, so long as you take care of them.
I only say the last part after working in early education and seeing SO many “parents” (heavy sarcasm) who really don’t take care of their kids and think they are the hottest thing since sliced bread.
The fact that people analyse the pros and cons of MOTHERHOOD is beyond me
Andrew tate ??
To be fair, it's not for everyone. But yeah, this tik tok makes it look like is more of hell than it can be. It even made me rise an ayebrow and I don't want to get pregnant not have children 🤣
i mean, it’s good to weigh it up, some people may not be cut out for that. doesn’t take a way from motherhood being beautiful though
Andrew you out? W
Top G is looking at Brett now
Ah 🤣🤣🤣
My wife and the mother of my 3 sons looks sexier now at 50+ years old than ever and so do other moms. Women only get better with age. Much love to all
Awww that’s so sweet!
Absolutely ☺️
❤️❤️
This is actually a really good topic, too many people have children when they’re not equipped to take care of them. A concerning about of people are unable to take care of themselves.
Women were pressured into “doing what their body is medically designed to do” for so long that it was pretty much the only thing you were allowed to do and now some are being “scared” or informed into not doing that.
This isn’t a stupid trend, it’s an important conversation done in a somewhat silly fashion by some.
Yeah, I’ve always hated that argument. As if humans haven’t been going against what they’ve been biologically designed to do for centuries. 😂
I was thinking the same. It's not a stupid trend. I'm 34 with no kids. I think more people need to talk about the cons. Maybe not the ridiculous stuff but just talking about the challenge of kids in general.
@@ragnarrklangsrok1685 Have you seen the current state of the world? We're overpopulating already, have been for many years. Less babies would solve way more than it would cure at this very moment. "extinction?" What makes you say that? Unless all 3B women stop having kids, there won't be exinction (which has a 0,0000001% chance of happening.) I agree with a lot Brett says but this is just a weird take from her. It's an important conversation that's never properly been held, not even from mother to daughter. Women are just pressured into their "biological task" without a single soul properly preparing them for it, not even schools or moms are doing that. I'm glad pregnancy is started to be shown in it's true colors because it by far isn't as "colorful, fun and jolly" as society paints it to be. I know women that had their teeth fall out during pregnancy, didn't even know that was possible up to two years ago. Pregnancy and having kids is heavily romanticized and that honestly has to stop.
@@janevonnis Nope, populations are imploding and reproducing is literally our only true purpose for being here. It doesn't take that much population decline to seriously deteriorate infrastructure and services to the point of near anarchy. China has 6 elderly for every young person. Who is going to care for these people? Do you expect MY kids to wipe YOUR ass? I don't think so, so have some kids so someone is there who actually gives a shit about you when you're too frail to handle yourself. Or navel gaze into oblivion. My kids inherit the earth. Works for me.
@@janevonnis PS Nothing about nature or this world is truly pretty or nice, every beautiful thing you've ever seen only looks beautiful because you can't see the decay at the microscopic level, and the animal eat animal nature of the world. But at the end of the day you're gonna be old with no one to care for you.
I think this is actually not a bad thing. As a mother of 2 I knew nothing about having children until I got pregnant. I learned everything via Google and remember having a complete meltdown when I learned my hair would fall out. I think it’s incredibly important to understand fully what you are getting yourself into. This goes for everything but especially bringing a human into the world.
But you hair don't fall out. Only extra hair (that didn't fall out during pregnancy because of hormones) falls out. It's good to know it because after pregnancy it might seem like you are getting bald but it's just extra hair, not whole hair. I got emotional over silly things during pregnancy too (which is normal) but this is excacly what Brett is talking about here: misinformation and fearmongering.
Your teeth can fall out too from calcium deficiency. It happens to a suprising amount of pregnant women. Scary.
Except the misinformation and the heavily bias because it does not show pros
That is why midwife is a highly skilled and valuable job. Bad sources of info are bad no matter the intent.
@@passivelyasking4825 it only ever happens if you are severely malnourished and/or have children back to back instead of waiting for at least 1-2 years before getting pregnant again.
Heaven forbid we ever have to do something difficult.
This is the problem. No one is "obligated" to have kids. All of the hard stuff parents go through is the result of the decisions they made by having kids. A convenient fact they like to leave out.
It is a choice nobody has to do it, if you want to go ahead, embrace the difficulties, but there is no mandate on other people who don't have that wish. Why do you talk about it as if it was a duty?
@@michele2330 The right is angry that more people are realizing it's a choice. They don't want people to know that, because they don't want it to be socially acceptable to have a nontraditional life.
That’s the thing. You don’t.
The reality of being a mother should definitely be discussed more, but in a serious and realistic way with actual mothers being the main voice speaking. I actually found that the mental changes were wayyy more significant than the physical changes. Of course we can still joke about things, like how I'm excited for my first tax return with my little baby added to the mix. 🤣
i personally don’t want kids, i don’t think i’d make a good mother and don’t wish to pass down health issues, but i’m not against people having kids if that’s what they want. sure, there are a lot of negatives, but there are also a lot of positives. you’re bringing life into the world and that’s beautiful. my sister in law is currently pregnant and i can’t wait to become an aunt.
I feel the same.
I think that’s fantastic because you know that it’s not for you. That’s responsible and self aware! I want to have kids but my best friend does not want to be a mom for similar reasons as those which you mentioned. There are too many people who have kids but shouldn’t be parents!
As a woman who has a three year old and is currently pregnant I can say that there are a lot of hard times being a mom and being pregnant, many of which I had no idea about prior to becoming pregnant with my first. THAT BEING SAID, I wouldn’t take it back for anything because my son and my soon to be born daughter are so beautiful and I enjoy everything about them. I would take any hard day with them than any day without them. I am who I am today to my beautiful babies. So much about me has changed, physically and mentally and I love myself, life, and others now more than ever; I only have love and thankfulness for them. Being a mom isn’t for everyone though, and that’s okay. :)
Adoption is better
It may be the best experience for you, but it’s not for everyone. Everyone has their own definition of the ideal life and best experience, rightfully so. You can’t just expect ALL WOMEN to conform to and follow traditions. Some women want to travel, and honestly, that’s the best experience any human can have not just women.
We're looking at this in the wrong way. This is a massive win. These people shouldn't be having kids. The last thing we want is them reproducing and passing on their values.
Wait, but having children is a beautiful thing. I m a man and I could not imagine how hard and painful having a child is for women. But what I do know is some of the best things in life are painful.
When I said it is painful for women to have a baby. I mean you have a human growing in your body. It's wild, crazy but a great thing but very uncomfortable for women and kids are awesome.
The bad makes you appreciate the good more, sadly
I'm a man too. We readily march to our deaths in meaningless conflicts based on the emotional whims of women. Men are tortured to protect women.
Women shouldn't be cowards about fulfilling there literal entire purpose. Men cannot fulfill their purpose if women don't fulfill theirs. We are here to reproduce and to build societies. Not to fuck every guy who shows you an ounce of attention.
Women who don't want to have kids are just selecting themselves out of the gene pool. Bye bye self extinction causing idiots. Birthrates will boom when natural selection does it's job. I'd like to have a family of 10 ngl.
I just experienced my first pregnancy that sadly ended in losing the pregnancy at 6 weeks. The amount of changes my body went through in those few short weeks was astonishing. I have two SIL's who each have one kid and are each expecting another and I'm also the oldest of 6 children. I have been around pregnant women and babies for a lot of my life but I had no idea how pregnancy would effect me as an individual. I was way more emotional than normal, starving all the time, already feeling the effects of my hormones super-charging my bladder, and as I was losing the pregnancy I cramped and spotted constantly for two straight weeks. The cramps may have hurt, but knowing that I was losing my first child hurt the most. It has been less than a week since the loss was "completed", if you will, and despite all of that and seeing other women go through the hardships of pregnancy and labor and childrearing I will 100% be trying again in the near future. Children are absolutely worth all of the pain, all of the suffering, all of the sorrow that we as mothers experience. My pregnancy was a complete surprise to me and my husband and we weren't prepared for it, but I would do anything to be able to hold my baby in my arms just once. Like other commenters have said, if a TikTok turns you away from having children then you probably shouldn't have them. The strength required to be a mother or even to be a parent, especially a good parent, seems to be lost in this generation. My heart aches for the youth of today and the state that our country is in.
Edited to add: Yes, my baby was a clump of cells and would never be anything more than that, but it wasn't JUST a clump of cells. It was MY clump of cells. It was MY baby. My baby who would have eventually formed into a whole, recognizable person if something didn't go wrong. When did we forget that babies are people, too?
I have had a miscarriage at about that time as well. Like you, I would do anything to hold that child. I know have been diagnosed with PCOS. Good luck to you.
The song “always” by JJ Heller helped me heal and process my miscarriage ❤I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant with my 4th and I’ve been anxious about losing this one so your story hits me hard. 😢 I’ll keep you in my prayer 🙏
Watching this while nursing my fourth kid. 😆
Preparing girls and women for the reality of childbirth and motherhood should definitely be more prominent (as is in our household), but this is definitely not that.
I’m 15 going on 16 and I’ve never been a fan of kids. I don’t really want kids, but now I know that I need to both have kids and raise them as delightful conservatives just to spite the rest of my generation 🎉
You are a kid.
@@xxGuItArGiRLxx89 One that can think. Oml.
Yes!!! But not anytime soon lol. You focus on enjoying teenage life and unlearning everything the commie school system teaches lol.
@@xxGuItArGiRLxx89 yes she is, and she's smart enough to not have a kid, while still a kid, but if it happens, to not have an abortion, and think about someone besides her self, that's intelligence. Adoption is a wonderful option as well, it's loving, and the mother's also thought about someone besides thier selves. And I don't really like kids that much either, at least not other people's kids.
@@xxGuItArGiRLxx89 she said 16... she can legally fk
I’ve never wanted kids even before social media existed 😅
Right. Same here. I'm not sure why she's so bothered by a tiktok. Maybe this younger generation wants something better for themselves.
@@katlincleary1988 True. Especially looking at how romanticized pregnancy is, it's a good thing awareness is being brought onto the predominantly dark side of it.
I agree im really confused by this video. Most kids already dont want kids because they saw how miserable their parents were with them and already know that the economy is insane, this list they're going so hard on seems satirical but also a way for mothers to share their experiences. I highly doubt anyone used this list to make a decision, at least thats what i got from what was shown
Me too. Very content with a childfree life.
Same. I straight up hated children as a child myself. They were loud annoying, lying manipulative little socially acceptable sociopaths and I wanted NOTHING to do with them as young a **5.**
For so long of my childhood I didn't even know not having kids was an option outside of fertility issues and was dreading my future as 2.5 kids alcoholic to cope with how miserable the kids made my life
If she doesn’t want kids she could just say so-
You should see what some "animal parents" are doing...
I don't think I wanna know
Shane dawson 🤮
I think my biggest fear with kids is that they make you very vulnerable. My dad left my mum alone to raise me and my brother and I'm very scared to ever end up in the same situation
This !!!! My mother had me young and my dad promised he would be there for her. He ghosted her before I was even born. Her experience is the reason why I’m scared to have kids.
As a 22 yo man that would never come into my mind if my future wife ended up pregnant from my child. I’ll do as much as possible to support her and the kid. Some people don’t deserve to have children.
Don’t let that fear blind you. I’m sure you’ll find a guy whose going to make that fear disappear. However it’s still your choice whether you want children or not so choose wisely who you’re going to have them with if you’re going to.
I was pregnant with my first son at 18 and I was terrified! Scared beyond my wits. My sister in law happened to also be pregnant just a few months ahead of me and I went to see her in the hospital. After a long, hard labor and being in such pain that her mother was asked to leave the room for how distressed it had made her, my neice was finally born and I was allowed up to see them. I have never seen my sister glow the way she did after that baby was born. She was beaming, cuddling her little girl close, it was like nothing had even happened. I was so glad I had visited her. I had a very difficult labor and delivery and was in excrutiating pain for 12 hours. But as soon as the doctor placed my baby boy on my belly, the raw emotion that suddenly gripped me, I felt nothing. The pain, the distress, it was all gone in an instant and all I could see was this wrinkly, messy, screaming little infant and he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. The only thing I can compare to it is the birth of my other three children and seeing them for the first time. And then you pick him up and you hold him and the crying stops because he recognizes you, by your voice and your smell and your warmth, he recognizes you and he stops crying. I cannot express enough, it's just magical. Absolutely astounding.
The best thing in my life is my son. I wish we could have had another child, but medical problems stopped us.
Imagine being the kid and thinking your mom loves you and you see the videos, sad
Are you sure that women who make those kinds of videos will have kids to find them? I find that doubtful.
@@bsv103 Someday she may change her mind. Hopefully she'll use whatever influence she has left to apologize to the people she hurt. Like any baby aborted because the mom was convinced by that stupid list.
@@grantjohnson4810 Or maybe she won't.
There are no "stupid" reasons not to have kids. What's stupid is thinking anyone who doesn't have them owes an explanation.
After 37 years, my Boomer mom just admitted to me that she regrets having me. She had to put all of her creative ambitions indefinitely on hold to provide for the family. I'm adding that to "The List". What makes Gen Z different is that they're open to having honest, public conversations about critical issues that were swept under the rug by previous generations. It's a good start.
That’s a terrible thing for anyone to hear about themselves at anytime in their lives. I’m so sorry you were told that by the one person who is supposed to love you unconditionally. I am a 37 year old mother of 2. Even if a mother has those feelings, it is the epitome of selfishness to ever express that to one’s child at any stage in life. There are some things in life that are better left unsaid or said in the context of a therapy session to work through with a professional. If your mom has regrets, she needs to work that out with a professional, not take it out on you.
That's HORRIBLE she should be ashamed of herself for telling you that, how utterly MEAN 😤
That’s definitely something not to say to your kid in my opinion
I would not read much into this, because the grass is always greener on the other side. She doesn’t know that she wouldn’t have regrets if she pursued her creative ambitions instead.
@@markx1126 yeah it just sounds like the mom is looking for things to blame for her shortcomings. She also may have just failed and also had no family.
I understand why people don't want kids. Could be for plenty of reasons: a rising cost of living, high medical bills, postpartum depression, maternal mortality, chance of becoming a single mother (single mothers are vilified, with people discouraging men from giving them the time of day) but if you want to be a mother, that's cool too. It can be a beautiful thing
I loved being pregnant 🤰 feeling my baby grow & forge that bond w the baby as ur belly gets bigger as he/she grows. & to see their face for the 1st time. Yea it’s painful but it’s worth it.
I never ever ever wanted kids. When I found out I was pregnant almost a year ago I cried but I carried my baby and I hated being pregnant but the moment I heard her cry and I held her tiny body against mine was the very moment I fell in love and accepted everything I went through. My baby is my world and I can’t imagine my life without her. All of the “cons” you come up with are overturned once you meet your tiny human you spent 9 months creating and growing.
40 year old mom here. I had my first child at 29 and if anything there was immense pressure NOT to have children. (Unlike the claim of the autho of the NBC article) This idea was more subtle when I was growing up in the nineties but it was still there. It was the message of: There'll be time later. The truth is there's not. So many of my peers have had or are in high risk pregnancies because they finally realized how important a family was but were 38, 39 etc. If I had it to do again I would have had children as soon as I was married. You have more energy, your body bounces back faster. I know everyone is worried about fun and finances in their 20s but the truth is it's way easier to have kids and be a mom of littles when you're young. Regardless of the challenges my husband and I have faced physically and financially the pros of birthing and bringing up kids far outweigh the cons. Not everyone has the opportunity or inclination to be a mom but having seen so many of my generation fall for the softer version of this nonsense and regret it. It's worth stating.
My two pregnancies were difficult and none of my family had the same kind of experience, so I was not prepared. I had 8 months of extreme nausea and vomiting with my second. My births with both were difficult and traumatic. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. My kids are the best part of my life. They keep me going when life gets hard.
You don’t have to give birth to be a mother. You can always adopt or foster.
You're only a mother if you give birth. You can be an adoptive mom but not a mother.
@MUSICMAN thats a horrible take some people actualy cant give birth but can still be mothers
@@Menace2Society9 the nice thing is that it doesn't matter what you think motherhood is.
I agree! Not alot of people are capable of loving someone outside of their biology
I don't rlly see love that way. You can love and care about someone who you don't shit out
@@Goat.Cheese if u want the real definition. It's a female who gives birth.. so adoptive ppl aren't parents.. I was being nice and correcting you
Not gonna lie. As a father of 2 little girls. Those onesies DO have too many buttons 😂
Pregnant with my 3rd. I love my kids and being a mom and will happily have as many kids as God decides to bless us with. Nothing better in the world!
I love being a mom. It's not a sunshine and rainbows all the time but I made amazing human beings that will be my legacy.😎
As a woman who always wanted to be a mother, I'm dumbfounded that people still don't perceive reality as is - there are many things that are difficult, and we struggle with things throughout our life. Motherhood is challenging, who didn't know that? But so are many other things as well. Working is a struggle. Sustaining ourselves is a struggle. So do we have to delete ourselves from existence just because of struggles we will *definitely* have? And don't forget that people have different threshold for different things they can bear.
This is a weird argument because being a mother is a choice working is not always a choice. You don't need to be a mother to survive but you may need to work to survive
We have no other OPTION then work to survive. But the strugle to having children IS optional. That's the diference. We can choose to having or not some strugles.
I think people in general should be more realistic about what women DO go through when we get pregnant, but this is just weird to me. Most of these, like you said, aren't actually related to PREGNANCY at all. It's just bizarre to me to demonize having a child. I've been on both sides of the fence and I hate the shit-slinging that goes on between both sides. Honestly, I think this started as a joke, but no one should be looking to a damn TikTok account to provide accurate medical information surrounding pregnancy.
What is "realistic" though? I think to many people realistic means unhinged facts without context. The reality is that it's hard to be a parent and the context is that it's worth it and it's really really good. You have to change a poopy diaper, but that means your baby is healthy and eating.
Also people need to get over that it's ok for others to be inconvenient to us. People will say like "you would make a woman go through that???" But like- yeah. It's ok. It's going to be ok. We live in an imperfect world where people get cancer, get in car accidents, have a rough night of sleep- and it's part of the glorious beautiful human experience. There is meaning to life beyond the picture perfect days. We have a choice to kick and scream when life hands us lemons or we can not only make lemonade, but a lemonade stand, profit, and a legacy. And it's ok to be happy while we do hard things🥰
@@rosepistilli223 By realistic, I mean being honest about risks, about potential physical and mental consequences (examples are birthing complications/tearing and post-partum depression), etc. Not as a way to deter women who want kids, but more as a yin to the yang that is endless romantisization of the whole process. I think it's important for there to be a balance. Like getting on any sort of medication, you SHOULD (I realizing this isn't always the case) have any and all information available to come to the conclusion that is right for you.
@@rosepistilli223 No one has the right to make a woman go through pregnancy and childbirth. It's up to the woman and no one else.
The original creator sounds like she was just being flippant. A lot of actual parents could probably find humor in the notion that their kid ruined their life or body. But when people start to share it seriously (and tie it to abortion), it seems a problem. If you polled 1000 women and asked them if they loved their children, I'm hoping the bulk of them would say yes. The story is ultimately that a reporter on NBC is sufficiently ideological to pretend she doesn't understand the nature of human love.
Adoption is better
Am I okay with staying childfree for the rest of my life? Yes
Would I have kids with the right person and under the right circumstances? Also yes
It's OK to not want kids but no need to demonize those who choose this path
everyone only ever looks at the negatives of having kids
Not everyone. The negatives are actually positives being denied by the ego.
Each hardship in raising a child is an opportunity for the parents to take a step closer to true adulthood.
A human is not fully developed if it has not passed on its genes and life experiences.
To be fair, I think some of the positives are actually difficult to fully comprehend unless you've been in that situation. I mean, we all know what stinky poop smells like and how terrible it feels to be completely exhausted, so when someone w/o kids looks at people with kids and sees them always tired and surrounded by poopy diapers, they think "ew, no!" However, if you haven't had kids, can you also understand the euphoria you feel when your baby first smiles at you? Or the melting feeling you get when they wrap their little arms around your neck? Or the overwhelming pride you feel when they have some sort of accomplishment? I had a pretty good life before my son was born, but I didn't have anything that compared to those experiences and I just couldn't understand how powerful that was until I had been there. Yes, I would do the exhaustion and poopy diapers and whiny tantrums all over again. I just have to wonder how many other people similarly can't understand, having not yet ever been there?
This reply is probably too long and still fails to make it's point. I guess the point is, the pros aren't always easy to explain. The cons are.
There are *no negatives* to having kids. Doing so, especially with a virgin wife, is the most divine and instinctually fulfilling thing one can experience.
Imagine how much love you feel for your family pet. Imagine the joy it brings, knowing how joyous their life is. Now imagine having a successful adult who you created, who you molded into a happier being than you could ever be. Imagine the pride you would feel, and the love.
There is not one thing on earth _any_ human wants more than to have children. Anyone who says otherwise is lying, to you, and to themselves.
@@Duchess_Bananabread also only parents know that sometimes the sight of a poopy diaper brings on shouts of joy. One of my kids had chronic constipation as an infant and every poop was a reason to celebrate😂
@@NoBaconForYou What, pray tell, makes one less "developed" by not reproducing? I would love to know what parts of my body I'm missing without having a child, and the study that backs it up.
This trend is also very common in Deviantart. More specifically stamps demonising pregnancy, motherhood, and children.
Words cannot describe how sick I felt when I saw these as well..
DeviantArt is still going? Waw.
@@mima_piedade -Deviantart is a bizarre place. It could go from “omg, what an incredible piece of artwork’ to “wtf am I looking at”
Our bodies were definitely created to do this, but as a Christian childbirth was cursed and let me tell you I had a lot of surprises with my child birth. I do not regret having my baby, but I wish I was more informed in school on what you should do to avoid permanent damage to the inside of your body. I can’t squat bounce too much or run anymore because I didn’t do my Keagle‘s. Also, it’s permanent unless I get surgery. This could’ve easily been avoided.
Yeah my bladder is ruined after childbirth
I love how a person who has never had a child can influence people
The list is the expirience of women that had hildren and thair medical issues after, you have no point.
@@IzabellaRequiem Well as a woman who has had three kids I think I do have a point even if it is just my own.
I am looking forward to being a husband and father personally. I have been driving my parents nuts for 18 years and they still love me, if I can pass that same kind of unconditional love onto my children someday I'll die happy.
I started my first job as a nanny when I was 19. I did it for about 13 years. I’ve watched countless marriages be torn apart, women’s health decline, support for parents decline, the cost of raising f children increase, education systems fall apart and society crumble. I’m 36 and will not ever have a child, even here in Australia. In fact I am celibate because I will not risk falling pregnant. So many conservatives (which apparently I’m becoming slowly) will vilify women who seek reproductive rights….but then also turn to women like me and threaten us with dying alone and making fun of us not sleeping with men. I’m doing what I can to avoid getting a termination. But a lot of people can’t understand it. You literally can’t have it both ways. Either you want women to have sex and risk ending up pregnant and getting a termination…or you actually respect women who choose single life and celibacy.
I think this ''cons'' thing is a good way to spark a conversation that motherhood is NOT for every WOMAN. Alot of women have children not knowing what they're getting themselves into.
This! The decision to have kids should never be taken lightly. There's no return policy/exchange policy. Once you have them, they're yours and you're stuck with them. I have thought long and hard about who I am as a person and what I want out of life. I'm definitely not a mother. I do like being the fun cousin. Hang out for a bit, let them do the things they can't at home then send their butts home then I get to curl up with some books or video games with my gf and our pets.
A silver lining perhaps
I had a tough pregnancy, but I would not trade motherhood for anything!
It's the most difficult, beautiful thing I've ever been a part of. ❤
Having kids is not for everyone. If you are a parent, cool, if not, that's cool too. Everyone chooses their own path in life, so I think the declining birth rates are for very valid and major reasons. I have been told many times that by not having children I am selfish (which to this day I cannot understand) however, I could say the same about people who have a tribe of children. Moral of the story is, to each their own, and everyone should mind their business
If someone says that about your choice in the future, ask them to give you a reason they had children that doesn't start with "I want(ed)."
As someone struggling with infertility at 25, I want a baby more than anything. I was diagnose with pcos last year and told that I would never be able to get pregnant naturally. Don’t take your fertility for granted!
I struggled with infertility due to pcos... never thought it would happen.. now 32 with a 4yo. I hope you get your wish. Good luck.
I am 29 and have PCOS as well. I want children as well. Good luck!
@@janbagley2581 I'm 31 and it took me 10 plus years to get pregnant. Don't have pcos but have another reproductive problem.
I don't have 30k for fertility treatments, so I did SHITTONS of research on vitamins, supplements, herbs and fertility teas and of course a very strict anti inflammation diet. It was hard, but I wanted this child more than anything!! I concieved immediatly after years n years of negative tests after 4 months on the diet etc. Lots of self discipline. Modern day GMO and processed food kill our sex organs and how they function
I'm 30 as of a few days ago with endometriosis and pcos and I now have a wonderful and way to smart and way too big already 4m old!
@@sj0223 that's wonderful!!! It's unfair certain ppl have to struggle, but I'm grateful for my reproductive issues now bc it got me on to a path of healing and health. A path I never would have known had I not struggled for over a decade to get pregnant!!
Although I don't want kids, I do hope for the best to all the mothers expecting their child.
I am embarrased to be apart of this generation.
Just turned 18, and when I get married, I hope to have 2 little girls, and also adopt
When I was a teen, I decided that I will have kids starting at 25 year old, when time came I was scared to take that responsibility, but still we started to try with my husband sometime around I was 26. Nothing happened, at 32 I was scared that I will never experience pregnancy, feeling baby under my heart. I firmly did not want to do IVF or how it’s called. Fortunately I got pregnant at 34, and now mom of two beautiful kids and feeling that we created them together with my husband and help of God is unexplainable!!! I want more! No matter my age!!! And I am sad that we did not try harder when we were younger !
Some people unfortunately forget that reproductive freedom not only encompasses the right and freedom to be child free without being vilified. It also encompasses the right and freedom to *have kids* if it’s someone’s personal choice. **Both** choices are to be respected.
Favourite TH-camr I've discovered this year. Binging this content everyday. Don't stop!!
Your body's gonna change with time anyhow, so why not for something that's so worth it (kids)? And I know people these days don't wanna hear this, but a healthy diet and regular exercise go a long way towards preserving your body! Also, I can name many pros about having kids: you will literally see the world in a completely new way! You get to revisit childhood innocence. You're excited about holidays again. There's this joy that children have that is contagious and wonderful. Teaching them is rewarding to the point of inducing tears of happiness.
All the pains of labor are generally forgotten shortly after the birth.
Some of us don't want to change our bodies if we don't have to.
If I'm going to gain weight, it's due to eating sweets, something that I actually want to do. I don't want stretch marks and a saggy stomach.
@@megankissinger8269 ok, you'll get your stretch marks and saggy stomach that way then. Do you, or whatever, but things happen. Accidents happen. If you don't want kids, don't do the one thing that makes them. Simple as that.
Also, whatever happened to "all bodies are beautiful"? 🤔 thought that was a big thing these days... guess not.
@@dyeandcloth1920 I don't think pregnant bodies are beautiful. At least it wouldn't be for me.
And in regards to your other comment, there are ways to be intimate without getting pregnant. Not having kids doesn't mean no sex.
Damn they're doing us a favor by not having kids, they'll just turn around and show them their woke ways.
Exactly what I was thinking. Now we just have to make sure they don't ruin OUR kids.
Yeah I used to think "their stupid idea will die with them instead of being passed on"... Not true. This is one person not wanting to have kids and poisoning the minds of countless others that could have been happy, could have done it well. Everyone should shape up, grow up, and become an adult. If you don't have kids after that, fine. However there are many that won't grow up or think they are grown up until they are responsible for another human being and realize that life isn't about them. I want these people to grow up. I want them to understand that life isn't about them. Chances are if these people had a kid they would regret writing all this junk.....
@@rosepistilli223 You mean being honest that parenting isn't for everyone and it's perfectly valid not to want kids?
What's stupid is thinking any reasons not to have kids are stupid when it's no one's business but the person or couple in question.
You can be an adult and not have kids. There are many aspects of adulthood that have nothing to do with childrearing.
I hope some of the anti childfree parents realize that their own kids could choose not to have children. My parents respected their children as autonomous beings and never encouraged us to be anything but productive and happy. Our choice to not have kids in that is ok with them.
Imagine these people ancestors 2000 years ago, fighting to survive to keep their lineage alive LOL
I’m currently pregnant and while it’s hard, not one of the symptoms compares to how miraculous this experience is. Hearing your babies heartbeat in the womb and seeing their little feet wiggle inside you for the first time defeats all the cons, in my opinion.
I’m sad for my generation. Children are not seen as the gifts they are, but as disposable “choices”.
I had my first sono the other day I was terrified because this will be my rainbow baby, but when I saw my little one wiggling around so much, I was flooded with joy I'm so blessed to have all my baby's and to get to do it again!
While I'm happy for you that just horrified me. But again it's not my body.
@Katlin Cleary you're horrified because they hear a heart beat in them?
@Coffee I think the idea of something in me like that is horrible. Because i do not want kids. But that's me. It sounds creepy to me people enjoy that. But i do understand that's something she loves. I'll stay child free. It's okay to not want kids.
@@katlincleary1988 well thank you for not giving birth you’re contributing a lot to society🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
I love this something that is being spoken about. I think its more a case of the fact that women can speak their mind about how they feel about something as "important" as motherhood. Not all women who have had kids are happy. we need to normalise the fact that women have a voice and dont need to just have babies to be succesful. I do not want kids for my self, I have many kids around me in my life and for me its not something I want to do.
Once you have kids it’s not about your “happiness” people are fucking obsessed with “being happy”.
Exactly, not everyone has to have children. Not everyone should have children. Everyone has a choice.
They're making it seem like when you tell your doctor you're pregnant the doctor is supposed to say "Ok, but before you decide to go through with this let me show you this huge list of cons". Like wtf
...just like men being discouraged to get married because of high divorce rates and they think all women are evil.🙄 the world is sick
Having my son was the greatest experience of my life. Everyday is a day I fight depression for my son. Everyday I see him the greater Mt life becomes.
My friend straight sent this list to me yesterday bc I want kids and she doesn't 😂
When my 17 month old drinks water and then breathes loudly, my heart melts a bit😂. Its the most adorable behavior.
This girl segues into her ads so flawlessly. Shocked every time.
I have 4 children and they are all grown up. Yes, it was hard but they are the best thing that ever happened to me other than my husband and I consider them my best friends now. By the way, I was their mother, not their friend when they were young.
I’m pregnant with my first after years of anxiety due to failures in dating and the like. I’m happily married now and finally pregnant and yes, it is very hard some times but when I feel her kick inside me, I’m reminded how temporary my discomfort is. And you can get your body back to pre-pregnancy but it takes work, so these gen z/alpha kids worrying about loosing their abs need to realize that it’s all temporary and you can get that back. At the end of the day, people need to remember that children are people, they don’t stay little and raising them is one of the greatest callings you can have in life.
I wish I had known before I got pregnant how hard pregnancy, child birth, and parenting was going to be. I would choose to do it all over again, knowing what I know now, and I wouldn’t not have kids for the world. But there’s a kind of a mommy trap that we fall into, that we think that because we want our children so much, it won’t hurt so much or be so difficult. My kids are everything to me and I can’t imagine life without them, but motherhood is something to enter into soberly. That being said, I think it’s immoral to scare women off of having children. The joys make it all worth it.
Well, I have a whole list of posts and articles on Pinterest written by mothers who have amazing tips and tricks on how to have a much smoother pregnancy, birth and postpartum experience.
These pins have really encouraged and empowered me as a young woman who aspires to be a mum. Birth is so primal. Our bodies are so intelligent that they can give birth even in a coma.
I don’t think anyone should be vilifying motherhood at all. It really is beautiful and I applaud mothers because it does NOT look easy 😅
However, I think why people who don’t want kids are so frustrated and why this trend has taken off like it has, is because as SOON as we express we don’t want kids people jump on us saying it’s selfish, we’ll change our minds, we’ll be lonely, we’ll regret it…etc. every time I say I don’t want kids I get one of these responses and it is so frustrating that my own feelings about such a personal decision are just brushed aside like anyone knows me better than me. Basically we feel like we have to prove ourselves somehow about why we don’t want kids. But I do think some people are taking it too far.
In the end I think people should be able to make the decision to have kids or not without judgement.
People aren’t trying to judge you, they are trying to warn you. Not having children skips a whole season of your life and can have unexpected consequences in your personal and emotional development. And it can feel great now to enjoy your life to the fullest, but when you are in your 60s+ and you find yourself mostly alone, you might realize the value of having a family. I didn’t fully understand this when I was younger. It’s your decision for sure, but it’s also a bit immature to think that others are just trying to shame you (I am sure most people don’t care too much about your choices either way) it’s just in our nature to try and warn each other of perils in the journey.
I'm 60 and don't regret not having kids & yeah I heard all that too, like they knew better than myself what I wanted. I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had. Would I be happier? I don't know. I'm happy now. I have no regrets about it.
In my life there has been MUCH more judgement for not having kids than having kids. I don't judge people who have kids - I am happy for them, but I get really irritated when people get on my case because I don't have any. They don't know WHY I don't, it's a really intrusive and judgemental thing to do.
People talk as if old people don't end up lonely when children move away and can only see them every now and then.
It seems to me to be an age old hangover that people still think if women don't produce they are somehow incomplete, maybe it's a subconscious thing because of religion and life pre semi decent birth control. You can get full spectrum life experience from looking after younger siblings, pets, your partner, you siblings children, friends children.. to narrow it down these days doesn't make sense. I get that having children is beautiful and primal. I saw the birth of my sister and cried and yes it can change you but I've been there too much for others, I just want to rest now.. some people have lived too much already to want to add more. Sometimes being yourself is enough and exploring what you truly want, is your life's journey, with or without children.
@@FriggaRedSkye it’s just not the same. You can experience a full life yes, I agree. But looking after brothers and sisters or nieces and nephews is not even close to actively parenting your own child. And there are people who birth children and the light doesn’t go on there either because they stay selfish and immature. But, if you choose to have a child and actively parent, it is the most purposeful, healing, gratifying thing that you can do. There is no higher purpose than that in my opinion. It forces you to grow up and change, mature in a way nothing else can. Having a pet, or friend just doesn’t replace the experience I’m afraid.
As someone who grew up with a mom who clearly didn’t really want to be a mother, I think women who don’t want to be pregnant or have kids shouldn’t. Being a parent is insanely difficult and important. It’s not something you can half ass. If you’re not 100% invested in being a parent, you will be a bad parent and the child will suffer. I have never wanted to have kids, and the older I get the more sure I am of that decision. I am glad that young millennials and gen z and are talking about the negatives of pregnancy and parenting because I think many of our parents and grandparents never learned this information until after they had children and they had kids because “it’s what you’re supposed to do” not because they wanted to be parents. It’s important that women are informed before they get pregnant so they don’t regret their decision after it’s too late. I’m pretty conservative on a lot of things, but I am strongly pro choice. Far too often people on the right don’t want access to abortion, and then they turn around and bash these women for being transparent about the negatives of children and childbirth. They are also the first people to scream “adoption” without actually caring about the thousands of kids in foster care right now who are still waiting to be adopted. If you are pro life please ask yourself- do you really want someone who is 100% for abortion and against being a parent to be forced to be a parent?? This will create more kids who have to live knowing their parents didn’t want them. How is that good? Life prevention is not murder.
For anyone who is on the fence or afraid to have kids, my son is my greatest gift. Yes, parenting is hard. I say it is the hardest job but also the absolute best job. The love and bond between a mother and child is like no other. It’s like your heart being outside your body. It is terrifying and amazing and challenging and absolutely worth every sacrifice and more. I know not everyone is meant to have kids. But those who don’t, truly don’t know what they are missing. And my heart breaks for the kids whose parents see them as a burden and not the greatest blessing imaginable.
My mom was in her late 30s when she got unexpected pregnancy (she was told she would never have another kid due to some health issues), and everyone told her to abort because she's "too old" and it's "high risk" due to her health. However, she refused to do so and three of us siblings also pleaded she shouldn't as we wanted our baby sister. So she stick to her guns and gave birth and my sister is now 20 and super adorable.
She also helps rest of us take care of our own kids, either by watching over them while we are at work or when we want some "Alone time" with our partners.
To think she wouldn't be around if my mom listen to others and not her own maternal instinct....
You can't miss something you don't desire to have.
@@megankissinger8269 I know what you’re saying. But also, you don’t know what you’re missing if you’ve never experienced it. To each their own, like I said, I know not everyone is cut out to have kids or that it just isn’t for everyone. But those who are parents, and have experienced the love & joy of being parents, do know what those who don’t have kids are missing out on. I personally can’t imagine not wanting kids, but we struggled with infertility for about 5 years before my son was conceived, so there was a time we thought we wouldn’t ever be parents. Maybe that’s why I’m extra passionate about it. He’s the best 🤍 lights up our world. I just want everyone to be able to have that same experience. Not that everyone has to, i respect that, I just think you don’t know what you’re missing if you don’t want to be a parent.