How to date, mate, and find fulfillment | Helen Fisher & more

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 เม.ย. 2024
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    Up next, Good sex explained in 9 minutes ► • Good sex explained in ...
    Is polyamory a sustainable model for societies? Do partners really need to maintain the "spark" to have a healthy sex life? And should sex, romantic love, and attachment be viewed as phases of a relationship or as systems in the brain?
    As modern science continues to illuminate the timeless experiences of sex and love, we're learning more about the nature of healthy relationships and the often counterintuitive ways individuals can maximize both sexual pleasure and fulfillment in relationships.
    In this Big Think video, we explore all of the above through insights from anthropologist Helen Fisher, journalist Louise Perry, sex educator Emily Nagoski, primatologist Frans de Waal, and author Richard Reeves who examine sex and relationships across three key domains: your brain, your bedroom, and your society.
    Read the video transcript ► bigthink.com/series/the-big-t...
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    About Helen Fisher:
    Helen E. Fisher, Ph.D. biological anthropologist, is a Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, and a Member of the Center For Human Evolutionary Studies in the Department of Anthropology at Rutgers University. She has written six books on the evolution, biology, and psychology of human sexuality, monogamy, adultery and divorce, gender differences in the brain, the neural chemistry of romantic love and attachment, human biologically-based personality styles, why we fall in love with one person rather than another, hooking up, friends with benefits, living together and other current trends, and the future of relationships - what she calls: slow love.
    About Louise Perry:
    Louise Perry is a writer and campaigner based in London, UK. She is a columnist at the New Statesman and a features writer for the Daily Mail. Her debut book, The Case Against the Sexual Revolution: A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century, is published by Polity.
    About Emily Nagoski:
    Emily Nagoski is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestselling Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook, and coauthor, with her sister, Amelia, of New York Times bestseller Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. She earned an M.S. in counseling and a Ph.D. in health behavior, both from Indiana University, with clinical and research training at the Kinsey Institute. Now she combines sex education and stress education to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. She lives in Massachusetts with two dogs, a cat, and a cartoonist.

ความคิดเห็น • 540

  • @GreyCrowe
    @GreyCrowe หลายเดือนก่อน +1185

    I'm pretty busy with food and shelter at the moment

    • @expeditioner9322
      @expeditioner9322 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      Not busy enough tho.

    • @GreyCrowe
      @GreyCrowe หลายเดือนก่อน +33

      ​@@expeditioner9322i'm cooking breakfast actually

    • @sagarpandey456
      @sagarpandey456 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Wht u cooking?

    • @osamaqtaitat
      @osamaqtaitat หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Lol

    • @GreyCrowe
      @GreyCrowe หลายเดือนก่อน +30

      ​@@sagarpandey456eggs, toast w olive oil

  • @kristinhess1704
    @kristinhess1704 หลายเดือนก่อน +82

    This is one of my favorite Big Thinks. Such an important topic. Such an essential conversation, largely absent. And Emily is the epitomy of a top-notch speaker, educator, advocate; just a rock-star level type of gal. I love just knowing that she's out there teaching every day. Bang-up job.

    • @gregvanpaassen
      @gregvanpaassen 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      The obsessions with self and sex are the curses of the age. Give to your community.

    • @elbretto6062
      @elbretto6062 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@gregvanpaassen you took the lyrics straight out of my songbook.

  • @aboveaverage3748
    @aboveaverage3748 หลายเดือนก่อน +347

    Yes, adults, you need money to have your best possible relationship. Money pays for meal dates, transportation, and everything else. You can have a relationship without such means, but there will be additional stress. Women are often attracted to confidence. Even if you don't feel that you are worthy of being a clothing model, you can exercise and practice strength training regularly. Plenty of women are attracted to muscular men, and this should increase your confidence. Most humans are attracted to honesty, reliability, kindness, openness and loyalty. If she is attracted to traits in opposition of the ones I just mentioned, maybe consider someone else. Women are looking for partners they can survive with, raise healthy children with, have stimulating conversations with. Do what you can to improve yourself mentally, physically and spiritually or philosophically. Be patient. Learn. Grow. If you are overzealous, it may lead to dishonesty. You should be authentic from the moment you meet. Don't portray yourself to be someone you aren't. It could cause serious issues later in the relationship when she finds out you were putting on a front. Relax, be yourself, and have a good time.

    • @EntertainingRunner-vd3bn
      @EntertainingRunner-vd3bn หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      This is something that isn't talked about. Like how is someone supposed to date if they are broke, or don't have a Car in a society where Cars are like nessessary at this point. How do you date if you don't have your own place, if everyone expects you to have a Car, Money, a Private space, and of course, non-existent dating experience.

    • @user-ym5on6hl5w
      @user-ym5on6hl5w หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      And what are the requirements for a woman?

    • @johnwinkowski3154
      @johnwinkowski3154 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      ​@@EntertainingRunner-vd3bn My recommendation for someone in their 20s who is broke, carless, etc.? Single moms 30+ openly looking for short-term fun.
      Since you're not a potential stepdad, those "expectations" you list suddenly aren't as important anymore. She'll always have her own place to go back to with you, and the familiarity can help her feel safer and more relaxed. She might want you out in the morning before her kid gets back from their sleepover and avoid any unnecessary questions, so there's usually a cap on how much time you need to put in. It's not long-term, so you just need enough money for one or two dates (and maybe subsequent booty-call Ubers). You're younger, which is a sexual plus and a big ego boost for her. She's obviously had sex at least one time, and usually at that age a woman is pretty comfortable and experienced with sex.
      I think you'd also be surprised how many single moms LOVE the idea of being a young guy's first and showing him the ropes. They are at their sexual peaks but also have that nurturing side activated, so being young and inexperienced on a guys' end makes for an interesting pairing. As a bonus they usually have lots of snacks, too lol.
      You're not really doing it to "date", but you still get the social and sexual experience for actual dating later on. Fwiw, I was in that *exact* situation in my 20s and single moms did the trick for me.

    • @abigaelbalbuena1917
      @abigaelbalbuena1917 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Fantastic take. Every male has their work cut out for them. Now, as someone posted below, what's the other side's work to do look like after this list?

    • @opencase9903
      @opencase9903 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Interesting. You started this comment with "Adults" but the rest of it was advice to men ;) maybe it's not a message to adults, but to men? Which would mean women don't have as much asked of them, but you don't want to admit that.

  • @B.Whittaker
    @B.Whittaker หลายเดือนก่อน +178

    “Mental health care is a necessity 😄…
    but, you have to pay for it like it’s a commodity… here’s 10% off! 🤑”

    • @marsdriver2501
      @marsdriver2501 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      what are you even talking about, is food free?

    • @elbretto6062
      @elbretto6062 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@marsdriver2501 food is free for some gents.

  • @michellecook-hill431
    @michellecook-hill431 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    She gets more beautiful as she ages. The epitome of a Sage. Thank you, Helen.

  • @l01230123
    @l01230123 หลายเดือนก่อน +168

    The comment section is WILD. Y'all need hugs or something. 😅✌

    • @invox9490
      @invox9490 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I think what we all need is SEX. 😬

    • @user-yh1nm1vy3i
      @user-yh1nm1vy3i หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I don’t see anything wild? What’s going on?

    • @Kavaitsu
      @Kavaitsu หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Where is the hug

    • @l01230123
      @l01230123 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@user-yh1nm1vy3i Well, there's that recent comment about necro and r@pe, people saying the speakers are mentally I'll, and blatant sexism.

    • @l01230123
      @l01230123 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@Kavaitsu🫂 That's the best I can do from an internet away 😅

  • @josiahamaze
    @josiahamaze หลายเดือนก่อน +198

    Men we need women. Dont give up kings. You deserve a queen and she deserves you. Also Betterhelp is trash. Speaking from experience. I just choose to believe the right thoughts and ive healed so many areas of my life over the past couple years. You got this kings and to any ladies reading this I appreciate you all you lovely babes.

    • @cseptember6562
      @cseptember6562 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Women openly say that they dont need us though.

    • @rheanarula9643
      @rheanarula9643 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    • @cseptember6562
      @cseptember6562 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Women openly say that they dont need men though...

    • @josiahamaze
      @josiahamaze หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @cseptember6562 That doesn't seem fair to women to say that. Seems like we haven't been fair any many areas.

    • @cseptember6562
      @cseptember6562 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @@josiahamaze Its fair because a lot of them also say it with no pushback. And its not that guys are giving up for no reason. A lot of us have 0 options and its harder than ever now to date. Especially if you are younger

  • @AnnaC330
    @AnnaC330 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    So appreciative for this collage video that help us build and maintain one of *the* most relationships in our lives. Thank you BigThink!!!

  • @Mr.Saiful
    @Mr.Saiful หลายเดือนก่อน +53

    Very deep video
    I have to watch this video twice
    Thank you Bigthink for making this video ❤

  • @AndresBarrosMusic
    @AndresBarrosMusic 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Helen Fisher's book "Why Him, Why Her?" boils things down to "finding a suitable partner is a matter of matching with the one whose 2 main hormones complement yours" (overly simplified, but bear with me). Emily Nagoski's book "Come As You Are" says hormones like testoterone have nothing to do with it. Maybe a debate between them would be interesting? Big Think staff?

  • @HouseOfAliShali
    @HouseOfAliShali 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    That bit about Christianity and monogamy was an eye opener

  • @KrisS447
    @KrisS447 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Great work 👏

  • @matthewschuessler4422
    @matthewschuessler4422 หลายเดือนก่อน +99

    Turn the freaking music down

    • @sencrew5293
      @sencrew5293 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Nah this music hittin rn

    • @skinnyprince
      @skinnyprince 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      😂😂😂

    • @reddevil211287
      @reddevil211287 16 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Yes pls it’s painfully hipster

  • @neon_nana
    @neon_nana หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    I agree with the supernatural part cuz it IS a miracle for all of us to find a right partner and it feels miraculous when we see someone eye to eye. You can never forget that experience: the connection. - but I agree with the process can be scientifically proven too!

    • @jmipraimundo
      @jmipraimundo หลายเดือนก่อน

      yes but not only 1 when you have 8 billion... sorry

  • @WarrenByrdSpeak
    @WarrenByrdSpeak หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Nice, y’all. Colossal conciseness 😊

  • @alybeer4559
    @alybeer4559 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

    Love the woman talking about poly X monogamy... completely disregarding that nowadays we don't talk about polygyny. It's not about men having multiple women. It's about decentralization of relationships. You can't really compare to men marrying 14 women... under 16... that s just off the point

    • @jmipraimundo
      @jmipraimundo หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      and also that it works better on the contrary for women to also have several partners...since before they were slaves to just one!

    • @samaraisnt
      @samaraisnt หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yeah that was disturbing. No shit a man having 10 slaves, I mean underage “wives” (expendable brood mares) isn’t going to create a equal or happy society…umm? i thought we discovered that centuries ago!

    • @umohluna
      @umohluna 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Exactly, her segment was my least favorite and the least scientifically accurate. Also monogamy is not the biological standard and never has ever been. It’s only been customary maybe for the last 50 years or so. Men cheating has always been socially acceptable including in the Biblical sense. Frowned on but not that big of a deal. Different story for women. Women’s sexual fidelity was based on necessity not biology. The more societal and economic freedoms women have the more likely her cheating starts to increase and comes closer to how often men do it. It’s a matter of not getting stoned to death, outcast or assaulted rather than biology.

  • @emydpham
    @emydpham หลายเดือนก่อน +85

    With the way inflation, unemployment, and housing costs are looming in everybody’s wallet, soon, these love anecdotes will be what we only dream about and archived. Let’s call it the caveman love style: focus on food and shelter. 😅

  • @amanborasi2183
    @amanborasi2183 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    so much to learn!

  • @blake1001x
    @blake1001x 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Insightful 😊

  • @sunbather616
    @sunbather616 หลายเดือนก่อน +31

    We are in the vanity phase of Universe 25. It's so sad what the dating world has become. I genuinely feel like I left the last helicopter out of Vietnam. Think about what you can provide instead of what you deserve. Providing isn't always in the material. Advice coming from a stay at home dad with 2 kids.

    • @jamontoast
      @jamontoast หลายเดือนก่อน

      ironically i am living in vietnam right now in my mid 20s and dating has been pretty damn fruitful for me lmao. maybe at this point it's time to get the last chopper IN

  • @navineon4961
    @navineon4961 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Amazing video! Education truly worthy of modern days

  • @SuperYogagirl
    @SuperYogagirl หลายเดือนก่อน +43

    I can't even imagine how I could have the time or energy to focus on love and sex, lol 😂 I live in a city where rent is $3k for a one bedroom, food is sky high and living expenses. I envy the young people who can live in a high sex drive and put fun as a priority.

    • @MarketWizard546
      @MarketWizard546 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      Find someone you can split the costs with that you like and you can go at it like rabbits

    • @Skochel
      @Skochel หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      Literally move. Life is not worth that level of suffering. Where i live (South MI), 3k is rent, all my bills and all the groceries I could ever want. We choose our suffering, therefore we choose our salvation

    • @MarketWizard546
      @MarketWizard546 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Skochel hah I lived in southeast Michigan

    • @Skochel
      @Skochel หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@MarketWizard546 it’s not bad, I grew up & currently live near A2. Lots of retirement/suburban housing with the focus shifting to family oriented education

    • @sageofsixpaths98
      @sageofsixpaths98 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Look how everybody started lecturing what you should and shouldn't do.
      If she could've she would've.

  • @TheKeirsunishi
    @TheKeirsunishi หลายเดือนก่อน +72

    How do you find someone to do it with though?

    • @BitterDawn
      @BitterDawn หลายเดือนก่อน +38

      By being genuine/authentic and a little brave.

    • @ricardoconqueso
      @ricardoconqueso หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      Walk down the street with a crisp $100 dollar bill, flapping in the breeze

    • @larry6597
      @larry6597 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Too difficult, I'll just wait for my AI girlfriend. Hopefully they make it ultra realistic such that I have to skip Saturday's to watch reruns of that Ru Paul show

    • @miftarisq2068
      @miftarisq2068 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@larry6597married?

    • @glendakillough6726
      @glendakillough6726 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      First thing is that should not be the goal. The goal should be the best version of yourself and a wonderful woman will see and become the apple of your eye.
      "Do it with"
      How romantic. I don't understand how women aren't just lined up around the corner for your attention.
      DAF

  • @bigmo10
    @bigmo10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Followed Emily on Twitter for years and now I know why 👍🏿

  • @erinc492
    @erinc492 หลายเดือนก่อน +80

    Big Think, as much as I like your videos, I can’t believe you’ve accepted BetterHelp as a sponsor. Especially after everything they’ve done

    • @AndradaBalteanu
      @AndradaBalteanu หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      What did they do?

    • @TMK1450
      @TMK1450 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@AndradaBalteanu Apparently they have done "everything". Looks and feels like a bad-will campaign though... mental health is a very difficult arena, I give them that!

    • @AndradaBalteanu
      @AndradaBalteanu หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@TMK1450 haven't found what they did...

    • @TMK1450
      @TMK1450 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@AndradaBalteanu me neither. Maybe @erinc492 can help?

    • @sohu86x
      @sohu86x หลายเดือนก่อน

      Takes literally 10 seconds to Google or TH-cam it.​@@AndradaBalteanu

  • @ZaharaReign
    @ZaharaReign หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Wow, thank you for sharing your study 📚

  • @justa_stranger_
    @justa_stranger_ หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    Not sure if I agree with what Louise is saying, but I love the other two!

    • @LouiseEnriconi
      @LouiseEnriconi หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      I definitely don’t. Polyamory has nothing to do with polygyny

  • @simonszabo990
    @simonszabo990 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Great content

  • @GetToZeeChoppa
    @GetToZeeChoppa หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Emily Nagoski absolutely nails it here. I stood up and clapped. 👏👏👏

  • @travonomenon
    @travonomenon หลายเดือนก่อน +59

    The self-reporting in these comments is pretty hilarious, ngl

    • @B.Whittaker
      @B.Whittaker หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      The incels flocked in droves to this video. Probably got linked on 4chan lol

    • @jurassicthunder
      @jurassicthunder หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      ​@@B.Whittaker"if i don't like your take on sexuality that means you're an incel" 😂

    • @B.Whittaker
      @B.Whittaker หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@jurassicthunder sexuality? No one is speculating on whether you’re gay or not lol

    • @jurassicthunder
      @jurassicthunder หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@B.Whittakerthe whole video is about sex. are you trying to tell us something? don't be afraid I'm not homophobic like you.

    • @jurassicthunder
      @jurassicthunder หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@B.Whittakerthe whole video is about sex. are you trying to tell us something? don't be afraid I'm not h-phobic like you.

  • @x2oChannel
    @x2oChannel หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Very interesting talk, but background music is a bit too loud and competing with my tinnitus 😅

  • @catalicul
    @catalicul หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    thank you for these beautiful lessons

  • @doctordhruv2595
    @doctordhruv2595 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Everytime they mention Brain and simultaneously show a CT of lung and liver, it bothers me..

  • @henrimilo1
    @henrimilo1 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Loneliness is growing in all age groups. The shift from agricultural society which favours fertility to a post-industrial society with efficient medecine and an unprecedented human numbers growth is disorienting people very deeply.

  • @Justmegaming404
    @Justmegaming404 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Tbh Emily Nagoski could’ve done this whole vid. The others were great but what they resonated with me

    • @troynix215
      @troynix215 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Huh... I felt the same about Helen Fisher.

  • @pedrosouza5599
    @pedrosouza5599 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    how do I get someone tho, it's been hard on the streets

  • @hekam
    @hekam หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Love in the higher power 💪

  • @jerryphilips9346
    @jerryphilips9346 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Thank you for saying what we as a partner,but first i need to get a partner for this 😅.

  • @c2819fnf
    @c2819fnf หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    All it comes down to is a match of personality/temperament and money. But if you have no money you can’t be a provider.

  • @dominicclark3774
    @dominicclark3774 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Joan Rivers, PhD. Love it.

  • @raspberrypi7098
    @raspberrypi7098 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Very low volume, please fix it 🙏 ❤

  • @movimientoinformativo5314
    @movimientoinformativo5314 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    14:34 why is there Epicuro? Can someone explain me what he has to do with what she's talking about?

  • @vagabondfeet
    @vagabondfeet หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Why are responses getting hidden?

  • @estefanianempequemorales6285
    @estefanianempequemorales6285 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Co create a context that allows both of their brains to have access to pleasure “ amazing phrase

  • @spaceshipastro
    @spaceshipastro หลายเดือนก่อน

    made me remember my ex friend that I loved, when he rejected me he said: "I will make u hate me!" in a way to make me stop loving him and be just friends or leave him alone.. uneducated person, he made me think that I am a stalker and a obsessed to a dangerous level which I wasn't, so glad to see a great person and prof here like Helen give people who are like me respect. thank u prof!

  • @Portia620
    @Portia620 16 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I would stay away from people that I’m extremely attracted to sexually and I’m referring to physically! if I’m physically attracted to somebody, I’m very reluctant to get involved with them. I usually look for inside beauty only and there’s a reason I stay away from outside. Beauty has to do with a trigger to trauma.

  • @khoakdoan
    @khoakdoan หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    My ex left me twice for another partner. Love is a joke.

    • @Spaghetti-kun
      @Spaghetti-kun หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      It's just you're a joke, not love.

    • @novacaine_
      @novacaine_ หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Sorry you went through this, try not to let them kill love for you, its them that's the issue

    • @FantasmaRadioattivo
      @FantasmaRadioattivo หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Never give someone the opportunity of dumping you twice, once is enought

    • @adukalu168
      @adukalu168 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Nah bro the 2nd one was on you. U played ur self

    • @benfelps
      @benfelps หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Spaghetti-kun😂

  • @lonewolf2072
    @lonewolf2072 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    why am i watching this while being rejected

  • @troynix215
    @troynix215 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    The first guest of three knew her stuf at least.

  • @archieese9176
    @archieese9176 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Not me trying to learn about sex and dating from a blue hair girl 😐✨

  • @PetraKann
    @PetraKann หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    How do you know which is which?

    • @mars_mellow5842
      @mars_mellow5842 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      whats the context to that question

  • @alphabeta8403
    @alphabeta8403 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    9:00 *Magic trio*
    18:00 It’s a brain process

    • @mars_mellow5842
      @mars_mellow5842 หลายเดือนก่อน

      its different views of the same topic from three different professionals. The video is made to show you different views on it so you can better formulate your own opinion on the subject.

  • @augustbjeilkjr737
    @augustbjeilkjr737 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    13:45 wildly untrue that only males of high status had access to women slaves! It wasn’t frowned upon for women with high status to carry the children of their slaves as well.

  • @CrescentPaws5000
    @CrescentPaws5000 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Why didn’t they address other forms of polyamory there other types besides polygamy like polycules or not just one guy a ton of women it’s not allways like that

    • @jmipraimundo
      @jmipraimundo หลายเดือนก่อน

      Primates dont know how to do monogamy...😂
      We are from their family 😉
      Was religion and opression men women that obligate a master and a slaver.
      If today we can transform Patriarchy to Matriarch everyone will be more prosperous happy and no violence😉

    • @mars_mellow5842
      @mars_mellow5842 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      yeah the speaker should have talked about it in more detail

  • @RLLE-dl3oy
    @RLLE-dl3oy 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Whoever works in STEM and seriously thinks that any biological system is part of the supernatural should roll the dice about vacating this workplace permanently

  • @SpencerBRandall
    @SpencerBRandall 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Turn down the music please.

  • @katoy9976
    @katoy9976 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Hay yaşa! ❤️

  • @clairelinden9786
    @clairelinden9786 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Sounds like everyone in the comment section needs a little love in their lives..

  • @dereksniper
    @dereksniper 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Wasnt betterhealth shown to be subpar mental health service?

  • @wassabied
    @wassabied หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    👏🏼

  • @prometheusrising13
    @prometheusrising13 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    "Novelty, Novelty, Novelty"

  • @johns1139
    @johns1139 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Huey Lewis was right

  • @bernardthefourth
    @bernardthefourth หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Fuck I wish I was better looking so I can get what I want and be miserable in a relationship I initially really wanted.

    • @wynthehuman
      @wynthehuman 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I second!

  • @vieiradelimafilho
    @vieiradelimafilho หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    It's striking the epistemological gaps between the 3 speakers, very telling of the different perspectives culture has assumed in each generation. The first lady sounds very much like a boomer, traditional but easy-going and open-minded, scientifically grounded and optimistic, if too positivistic. I applaud her neurological expertise, but she won't go deep enough if she thinks the brain is what it all boils down to. The brain is but an amazing tool, a wonderful mechanism, a means to an end. The last lady, a GenZer I suppose, sounds like a flamboyant Instagram influencer to me. So mechanistic, schematic, it feels as though she thinks people should manipulate one another with therapytalk for commodifying bodies into sex toys to serve our pleasure for as long as it's worthwhile, idolizing the power of "rationality" (most often, a disguise to manipulation). A shallow pedantic narcissistic faker, or a postmodern psychologist, and a quintessential citizen of the clown world we've built in the West. To me Louise Perry has the ultimate realistic, grounded perspective that rises high above scientism, marketing and ego catering to frankly address human nature and the facts of history. It'd be wise to seek more of her brilliance.
    There's no healthy sexuality without connection through meaning; human connection is basically a spiritual endeavour. You should feel like you are sharing a common story in which the moment just drags each other closer. Animal magnetism. Sex starts with the gaze and the build-up of tension that comes with honest exchange. Like happiness is an epiphenomenon, sex should be just the cherry on top of a meaningful encounter. A celebration of life and happenstance, ideally consummating and deepening a proper relationship. The moment just happens when you can't help but bond, feeling like a child that's curious and willing to play. Not necessarily because you have found the "right person", but that you both were lucky enough to have met someone you're able to trust, and feel vulnerably and adventurously naked with, caring for and deserving of each other, so you can surrender and leap together into the unknown with true engagement and compassion. Or just someone to have fun and joy with, fully immersed in the moment, not escaping from yourself with the latest drug. Pleasure is not the goal but a bonus, a collateral effect. It's not about mind and thoughts but spirit and movement. Like the poetry of rivers merging, an intuitive erasure of edges and selves, a melting unceremoniously and unpretentiously into one ecstatic dancer that flows seamlessly in-between. Tantra? It's way more an art, or ritual, than a "science of pleasure and mating". Kudos to Louise.

    • @703390
      @703390 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Great way to put it.!

    • @gborsonello
      @gborsonello 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Best comment EVER, thanks!

  • @justinrita7793
    @justinrita7793 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

    If love is an addiction or it activates a part of the brain that has to do with addiction. Couldn’t love be argued as the first stepping stone to other substances? Like not being loved enough as a kid would lead them down a slippery slope of substance abuse. Couldn’t not being loved enough be looked at as a form of rejection? But then again I guess that’s the joke. “Mommy and daddy didn’t love you enough as a child.”

  • @rodrigocamacho8834
    @rodrigocamacho8834 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

    "When you put the neutral and the romantic love on top of each other and cancel out what they have in common, you left on whats going in the brain when you madly in love, " She said. I don't have to be a scientist to know that this idea of encapsulating what romantic love is false. First, it seems too simplistic and idealistic to just deduct from a picture what the complex wiring is the brain doing for "love." I think Helen's idea of what is romantic love is is not complete, it is false to just depend and name love by looking at pictures and cancel each other and whatever left think that is love. It is too easy to be true, from history we have found that thing are way more complex than just simple thesis like Helen's.

  • @CyanCooper
    @CyanCooper 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    You don't "live on" if you have kids. And if your kids aren't a disappointment to your memory, your grandkids probably will be.

  • @thetruther954
    @thetruther954 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Ride the fear. Ask her to ask you. QED.

  • @hakijin
    @hakijin 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Fulfillment I will only find in large scale medieval warfare on a green grass field inside of gothic armor

  • @borrico1965
    @borrico1965 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Absolutely, sex has a biological function aimed at continuing the species. However, people tends to abuse the sexual faculty. People tends to use the faculty solely for the pleasure it gives. If that will be the case, the faculty is misused.

  • @teacake6941
    @teacake6941 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    If they don't bring up how much resources you need to have in the western world to be comfortable in a relationship then they are missing a big chunk of what makes a relationship successful at beginning, the middle and the end because most relationships change and they may not be romantic but that can be an AWESOME friend!

  • @vedmarth
    @vedmarth 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    It’s funny when about monogamy talks someone who is strongly biased towards monogamy, her conclusions based solely on biology and outdated social paradigms and quite false frankly when taking into account modern society

  • @jawaharize
    @jawaharize 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

    love is a drug of ignorance ..the wise dont find it outside

  • @A861967
    @A861967 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What if it’s not love , and it’s just a conditional response 😂

  • @AliHussein30605
    @AliHussein30605 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

  • @BerlinaDice
    @BerlinaDice หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Just to clarify: you don't kill for love...that's not love

    • @julesoul
      @julesoul หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      I feel like you can kill FOR love, but not out of love.

    • @GGFarofa
      @GGFarofa หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I think it's a situation in which your partner is in danger, and you actually kill the threat to protect them. These so called "crimes of passion" do not represent love. It's jealousy and control, not love.

    • @samaraisnt
      @samaraisnt หลายเดือนก่อน

      So you wouldnt kill someone who was trying to murder your mom? Can’t relate…

  • @lavatr8322
    @lavatr8322 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Although i hope to meet my soulmate or have a relationship
    im currently focused on getting a job and on my mental & physical health
    but obviously back of the mind i dream of going to movies , beaches, or just cuddling nothing else, with that special EMPRESS
    _idk where the fock is she?_

  • @atomafotos
    @atomafotos 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

  • @AceKite00
    @AceKite00 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I know all this. I know who i am, what I'm capable of, what I want, what I'm willing to do, and what i refuse to do. Flirting and approaching is easy enough. But guess what my problem is?... I GOT NO FU**ING MONEY! C'mon, how many relationships have you seen fail due to money? That means any relationship i enter won't be sustainable long term until i fix this. I mean unless someone can prove to me otherwise.

    • @goldenwolf90
      @goldenwolf90 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      Then you actually don’t have the means to connect intimately, or you feel as if you may not be entirely deserving of it, because of the added stress of financial security. Like Louise mentioned the offs also need to be turned off, couple that with possible trauma, and you’re likely less in-tuned than you think you are. Ultimately, you’re still deserving of a loving and sexually fulfilling connection regardless of your financial status.

    • @sunbather616
      @sunbather616 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Money is a construct and it's something the western world has trapped you with. If you already possess the self-awareness of your situation, it would be best for you to attempt to connect with someone sharing your same situation. If you're lucky enough to find someone to share goals with you, then perhaps coupling together and working towards that common goal will help. The problem with western society is that both genders have an expectation when it comes dating and we don't have the self awareness to see that we are all a work in progress.

    • @ricardoconqueso
      @ricardoconqueso หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      If you have a good enough personality, you don't need money dude. Even if youre wealthy, most women, if they figure out that youre not much more than just money and have nothing else to offer, will leave. If you can offer something that can't be bought at a store, youre golden

    • @jurassicthunder
      @jurassicthunder หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@goldenwolf90cap. women still wouldn't date someone long term if he has no money or is not willing to make it in the future.

    • @goldenwolf90
      @goldenwolf90 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      @@jurassicthunder Okay, cap, is you projecting from what is likely your own experience. There are several woman who would stay with a man that would make them feel safe, and most importantly appreciated. You hear this often with immigrant stories where a couple works together to raise their children in a foreign country. This is because healthy relationships are dual effort. And would even go as far to say that women, hell let’s generalize it even to everyone regardless of gender, it isn’t that you don’t have money it’s likely that you don’t have ambition. It’s one thing to work within your means and struggle than say make yourself a victim while not bothering to look for a job. Granted I will agree that there are individuals who will likely be more interested in exploiting a person with money than an actual relationship, but then again that’s not a healthy relationship. So to generalize this against all women isn’t healthy for you, and only perpetuates that you are likely dealing with trust issues.

  • @jaythefox
    @jaythefox หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Fear not hombres - the AI girlfriends are coming soon!

    • @NuntiusLegis
      @NuntiusLegis หลายเดือนก่อน

      As soon as it comes to adult content, AI says no.

  • @Valdemore4
    @Valdemore4 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

    came here for the How To`s, didn't find any XDDD

  • @klevykids
    @klevykids 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Sex is either good or bad, nothing else

  • @joelharris4399
    @joelharris4399 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    Most guys, particularly those who self-identify as MGTOW have already bailed out of the dating market.

    • @VoteBidentoSaveDemocracy
      @VoteBidentoSaveDemocracy หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      More for me!

    • @jurassicthunder
      @jurassicthunder หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      ​@@VoteBidentoSaveDemocracy you wish 😂 if you're average looking, you ain't getting any. except when they are looking to SETTLE down. 💰

    • @joelharris4399
      @joelharris4399 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@jurassicthunder 🤑🤑 money talks and money walks

    • @jurassicthunder
      @jurassicthunder หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      ​@@Dimitris_Balfoh yeah classic "if you don't like me then you're gay" 😂 you just can't bear the idea that men might not be interested in you for your character.

    • @JordanMichael23CA
      @JordanMichael23CA หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@jurassicthunder
      Im overweight, make slightly better than average money, and am probably just cute on the face.
      My girl is really hot.
      It's less about those things than you are led to believe.
      I make her laugh till she cries, I'm emotionally available, can read her emotions, communicative, educated, receptive.
      Good women like us for things other than money and looks.
      We are shallow by nature. They aren't. Even if they tell you they are .
      It's not real, the dating market is veiled in lies. Women just want a guy they feel will protect them and take care of them, emotionally.
      These bitches that say otherwise are young (or old and too far gone) and lying. If they weren't, id get zero pussy.

  • @Sa1ntV1cious
    @Sa1ntV1cious หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Ah yes, THE SEGGS

  • @namadekisufa
    @namadekisufa หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    terrible sound mix

    • @ricardoconqueso
      @ricardoconqueso หลายเดือนก่อน

      Only under-sexed people think the sound mix was bad

  • @drradon
    @drradon หลายเดือนก่อน

    It’s so strange how so many topics and so many speakers can be presented so one dimensional. Mmmh.

  • @Schweizer_Politik
    @Schweizer_Politik หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Brother is usinf the term "mate" im sure they never touched a women

  • @RobiulIslam-nj4fw
    @RobiulIslam-nj4fw หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Pleasure of Youth ! 🎋❤️🎋

  • @LouiseEnriconi
    @LouiseEnriconi หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    Using examples of polygyny to explain why polyamory wouldn’t be a good idea seems strange, to say the very least. Polygyny has nothing (or very little) to do with polyamory as it’s being discussed nowadays in progressist groups.

  • @supremekakarot
    @supremekakarot หลายเดือนก่อน

    Has anyone looked into the way Islam conveys marriage?

    • @rmmr1168
      @rmmr1168 หลายเดือนก่อน

      What makes you ask this question?

    • @supremekakarot
      @supremekakarot หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@rmmr1168 Because it’s almost like Islam has the solutions to these issues 😀

  • @monsieuralex974
    @monsieuralex974 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    "Maximize sex & love" ok.. "How to date, mate, and..." Hmph... This is a very nice topic. I would give a damn if I wasn't the lonely ass I am... See you on the next video BigThink (click Next)

  • @anitoroyan272
    @anitoroyan272 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

    Better Help is the worst. Stay away from

  • @juniorphiri2561
    @juniorphiri2561 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Louise Perry is one of the sexiest people I've ever seen.

  • @MrVisionDPB
    @MrVisionDPB หลายเดือนก่อน

    Honey

  • @princessdaphne444
    @princessdaphne444 หลายเดือนก่อน +33

    wow!!! a wave of unhealed, traumatized, chauvinistic men in this comment section. its genuinely so sad. its not natural for men to find joy in degrading women & vice versa! i pray for collective healing :/ ❤️‍🩹

    • @jurassicthunder
      @jurassicthunder หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I don't like you: you're toxic and you need healing
      I like you: you are good.
      you're just a narcissist who can't win arguments.

    • @princessdaphne444
      @princessdaphne444 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      @@jurassicthunder how did you manage to get this from my comment? are you off your meds?😅

    • @jurassicthunder
      @jurassicthunder หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      ​@@princessdaphne444I'm young, fit, and very healthy thank you very much.

    • @salty3069
      @salty3069 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@princessdaphne444 princess daphne lol ok

    • @at1212b
      @at1212b หลายเดือนก่อน

      A lot of scorned and jaded woman here... Like yourself!

  • @KhalCrochet
    @KhalCrochet หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Sex doesn't last that long and it takes for ever to get in the mood for it, either I have low T or I'm just a simple man cuz all I want is to share food with someone and cuddle, I'm pretty much satisfied after that and our clothes wouldn't even have to come off 😂

  • @alexfletcher5192
    @alexfletcher5192 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    So, let me get this straight: the America of the 'real man' and the 'real woman' needs help on this? Okay. What happened before you knew what to do? Oh yes, you didn't. Possibly time to stop aiming for awards and just get with someone on your wavelength. I am frankly astounded that I need to say it....

  • @alg11297
    @alg11297 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I wish I could get a degree to spout platitudes like these speakers

    • @ricardoconqueso
      @ricardoconqueso หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      The first speaker had years of solid research that was backed up by scientific study and conclusions. If all you took away was platitudes, you missed the point. Doesnt sound like you actually care about education or learning.

  • @__cypher__
    @__cypher__ หลายเดือนก่อน

    Big think. Nope. This episode feels more like ...
    Little Willie think

  • @achmed_real
    @achmed_real หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I think in Islam more than complete and spesific how to learn all of think, you must try to reading Holy Qur'an to found the answer.😊