The Cure For Self Consciousness (weird technique)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ส.ค. 2024
- Sean Cooper of ShynessSocialAnxiety.com talks about a technique for feeling less self conscious in public. This is about that awkward feeling you get when you feel like other people are watching, judging and analyzing your behavior. The key is a simple switch in focus.
- แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
it's weird because I'm more self conscious when I'm talking to someone in private than in public. because in public the person I'm talking to doesn't have all his/her attention on me so I feel less pressure.
Same ;)
Yup me too. I get so anxious when talking with someone in a private office/room/etc. If it’s in a large open public space, it gives me the option of escaping the conversation whenever I want.
This was great, been searching for "shyness social anxiety disorder and social phobia" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Qanwen Donuke Approach - (do a search on google ) ? Ive heard some interesting things about it and my work buddy got great success with it.
@@catherinerivera6646 I see what you did there, affiliate marketing :)
I'm the same way!!
Omg u describing the walking down the street thing is exactly what i experience! Thanks so much for the video!
Exactly
Yeah same here😂
True
i guess it is kinda randomly asking but do anyone know a good site to watch new movies online ?
@Lance Kolton I would suggest Flixzone. Just google for it :)
Thank you for sharing this video. I struggle with self consciousness about how I talk and come off to other people during conversations. It makes me stumble over my words. I hate it so much. The more I think about it the worse it gets. Knowing there are other people out there that experience, brings me a lot of peace.
Same here. Only happens to me sometimes though. I could barely talk to my supervisor at times because I'd lose train of thought because it collided with my other anxious thoughts. Then it gets worse because I realize I just dropped off and can't think about what we were talking about. And naturally they're staring at me because I can barely form a sentence at that point. It sucks because I know every is fine but just can't seem to get out of the hamster wheeI once it starts spinning. I wish you luck in dealing with this.
Me too. I blank out every time I'm talking to someone. My worries overpower my thoughts and I can't bring myself back to what I was saying then I feel dumb making everything worse. In public places I can never feel comfortable, I always scan my surroundings and see if someone's looking at me. I feel paranoid and anxious all the time and I dont like the feeling :((
Thought I'd leave a quick comment about this video to make it more clear:
Self consciousness is that awkward icky feeling that other people are watching, judging and analyzing your every little movement or word.
I used to feel self conscious all the time in public--even just walking past somebody in a park or buying some food at the store! I always felt like other people were critically judging me.
In this video I show why one of the cures for self consciousness is actually...to become MORE self conscious! (Or more accurately self-focused: focused on what you are doing.)
See, most shy and socially anxious people are too easily distracted trying to pay attention to what every random person might be thinking of them. This makes you focus too much on other people when you are walking down the street, shopping or trying to talk to someone in a crowded place. As a result you feel awkward and you freeze up trying to talk to someone in public when other people might overhear the conversation.
The solution is to redirect your focus. Allow yourself to ignore all those background characters in your life.Focus more totally on whatever you are doing. (Just like in a movie only the main characters are in focus, the unimportant background characters are blurred out.)
To really understand this technique, which I call "Tunnel Vision" you need to watch the video above now.
And practice this in your daily life to feel less self conscious in public.
(NOTE: There is also a different type of self consciousness where you feel insecure about some part of your appearance, body or clothing. I did not talk about this type now -- maybe I will in a different future update!)
+Sean Cooper i am agree with you man please send me more videos about loneliness please .answer me.
Sean Cooper hey man, have you already uploaded the different type of self-conscious? (the insecure one). If not, then when will you upload it?
Video* thanks 🙏
Email Contact you are perfectly right its quite insensitive to use others mental battles just to make yourself rich. I nearly bought his ebook but upon second thoughts decided to stop
Man you made me realize something, and also you make my day more happier. Thank you Sean, hope you have a good day too
I actually do feel self conscious when I'm by myself, that's the real problem in my case. I keep judging myself for acting or being who I am, trying to figure if that's the correct way to react to things. It's really annoying that this other "me" keep watching the real me.
Edit: If you believe in God and convert, you'll figure out how to act. Once you start acting accordingly to the Truth you don't need to bother yourself if the others approve you. And that's when you start to really love others, when you aren't charitable expecting benefits from them. Convert to the Catholic Church.
that's called self hate
I can relate :(( That's why most of the time when I'm by myself I usually keep myself occupied with things so that i can at least be less conscious of everything.
Dude same
I can relate so much....
Cultivate more love and kindness towards yourself. Smile to you, hug yourself, thank your body. Let go of judgement towards yourself and others. Take a deep breath and give yourself a break
I get most self conscious in public ..I find this very helpful so thank u a lot
"be there totally" couldn't agree more with this, sometimes when I'm at music shows I end up not having as much fun as I could be having because I spend half the time focusin on me instead of the show itself...
Looking at others for validation opens you up to abusers and stresses out all but the best people who can sense your beautiful heart.
I have begun a few years (after gettinig most of the bad messages that I was telling myself out, through this therapy called EMDR), I started finding good-hearted people. I am kind because i like/love other people. We are more alike, than different. I can't allow myself to give over THE POWER to another person----over MY feelings.
We are all struggling to stay afloat in one way or another.
Very true
I’ve been feeling like I’m worth less than everyone else for basically my whole life and there was a turning point where my social anxiety got much worse. I can’t even breathe normally while being in a public space. And the self judgement continues even when I’m alone sometimes. I am a person who wants to express themselves and create things, yet I can’t cause I’m too self concious and I feel like I’m wasting my potential, because I keep thinking about what would other people think.
Friend, Doing public speaking courses are very effective. In life there are only 2 problems--mind and the body. To feel relaxed reduce negative thoughts. Be careful what you feed your mind. Avoid comparing yourself physically or mentally with others. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 10-15-20 minutes or more. You can sit or lie down, anywhere-anytime with eyes closed. Never meditate with expectations but with awareness. No deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. With practice the mind will relax. Keep a reminder to observe your breath sensations throughout the day and night --before sleep, when reading, at work, at home, when travelling etc with eyes open or closed. Like me make this a lifetime habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.
I started seeing your videos from 2015 and now its 2019.I can say iam almost cured from social anxiety by practicing your techniques. you are the most influenced person in my life
from india
its sad that no new videos
Help me please.
Shivam sahu gimme your Instagram
I am 18year old. Approx. how much time It will take to be cured from shyness and social anxiety completely? Plz help me I am getting depressed
@@ShivamSahu-cn6uu it'll take day few day's don't worry about what's gonna happen be in present.
@@ShivamSahu-cn6uu what exactly is happening?
plz come back man, you are gold
As you talked about how you felt in the past, that really gave me hope that I can also overcome it♡
Oh my god I think you just saved my life. Best insight and advice ever. You're the best
Idk where you are in your life Sean but I want you to know that your videos have got me through a lot and I hope your doing well wherever you are ❤
Doing good work. Keep it up. To anyone still needing more help. Taking action on the things you feel self conscious about. Such as weight or skinnyness = work out
Bad skin = eat healthier and take supplements and derma roll.
Anxiety and shallow breath = regular mediation
A facial asymmetry = ask others is it noticeable start to break down this illogical fear.
What I'm getting at is, although the mind tricks are an important part of getting better... the triggers and cues are often based on things you can change in the real world.
Synergising the two together can quickly change your mental wellbeing.
When it comes to Shyness and social anxiety You're the best in the world. Thanks a ton for your precious insights.
Super helpful. Being conscious of being self-conscious really drains my energy. I'm feeling much better just after the thought of focusing my energy just on me.
Your movie analogy has been extremely helpful. Thank you so much 🙏🏻☺️
Great video,always good to get a refresher ,having learnt so much from your system.
Hello Sean. This was the first time I saw one of your videos. I am currently undergoing psychotherapy because in my job I am too heavily affected on my tasks and my performance depending on the person standing next to me, i.e. if it’s a toxic person vs a friendly person. In my therapy I struggled with some definitions such as mirroring, being aware of my feelings and thoughts and, of course, being self conscious... I just want to say that this video made SO MUCH SENSE. It was a simple and clear explanation that opened my eyes. Thank you so much!! Already subscribed and will definitely explore your other videos hoping they are as helpful as this one. Cheers man! Thanks a lot!!
Great to see you are taking action and facing your social anxiety brother. Takes alot of courage 🙌
I`ve to say that,this is one of the best video on social anxiety,this video is 100%,how do you feel on having social anxiety unlike other videos on youtube,which is 50% theoritical and only 50% practical...
I have totally been self conscious while I've been completely alone, but yes it's worth the thought of what would someone think of they saw me. But I love everything you said and it super helped me so thank you
My sister used to watch ur videos a lot... she's not with us anymore unfortunately but when i felt anxiety ur videos are the first thing that came to my mind
Hey Sean, i don't know if you'll read this, it's been sometime since you uploaded any videos, but i want to personally thank you from the bottom of my heart. You helped me fight my social anxiety and become a more healthy and happy person. Thanks a lot!
I'm most self conscious when talking to someone. I lose focus of what they are saying .
Yes, I have to PRACTICE listening. When i really truly want to know/understand the person behind the words. Curious about them, and caring at the same time. There is usually silence, and then I listen and it can be enlightening..
thank you so much for this video .. i don't think anyone has explained it in this way .. thank you again !!
Thank you Sean. I sure appreciate you and this video. I can relate in so many ways.
Amazing, thanks for sharing, your articles and writings are very helpful to improve my life
The movie thing, it's not about focusing on the main character, but i want you to try this trick, put your hand in front of your face and look at them, you notice that your background is somewhat blurry. That's why good production movie uses the lense of their camera similar to our live eye lense. I took videography class✌️
Thank you very much buddy! This really helps.
Thanks for this! Really helpful.
Mindfulness exercises is a really good tool to help stop being self-conscious. It makes you pay attention in what really matter
Thank you.
Tunnel Vision + Focus.
This will help me a Ton.
Subbed.
So no periphial vision
Ur video is an absolute gem💎
Thank you so much
This is a great video nice talking points and techniques
I ve just watch your video and can say that it is very helpful. thank you so much!
Very helpful and timeless bro hats off to you
You are so helpful. You just motivated me to go take a walk outside
Very interesting!!! It really IS "Other consciousness". Thank you for the video!!!
I'm very late to the party lol but I'm so happy I stumbled across your videos. 🤗
This is a very good video, thank you.
Thanks a lot! this has really helped me.
Verry good video, i'll try to implement this into my life
I thx you man, you have make me realize something I knew about me but never understood what it was. is a great in site . what happens to me. this so great I'm so thankfull. I keep learning from you man
Excellent Sean
Thank you so much for the vid
Useful video. Doing public speaking courses are very effective. In life there are only 2 problems--mind and the body. To feel relaxed reduce negative thoughts. Be careful what you feed your mind. Avoid comparing yourself physically or mentally with others. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 10-15-20 minutes or more. You can sit or lie down, anywhere-anytime with eyes closed. Never meditate with expectations but with awareness. No deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. With practice the mind will relax. Keep a reminder to observe your breath sensations throughout the day and night --before sleep, when reading, at work, at home, when travelling etc with eyes open or closed. Like me make this a lifetime habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.
The thing is that I know nobody cares what i look like but I still have a thought at the back of my head that people are judging me of my scent or what I look like.
So your advice is to just stop focusing on what others might think of you? The entire problem is that you can't stop doing that. If you could just stop being self-conscious whenever you wanted it wouldn't even be a problem. It's like saying to a depressed person to stop focusing on all the negative things in life, but to just focus on the positives.
Garnalenpeller Exactly.
Whether you think you can or can’t is true.
It’s a matter of training yourself but most people give up the first day to chase the ‘next thing’
A depressed person can’t just do it because they don’t believe they can actually change
Garnalenpeller you don't "stop focusing" , you shift your attention to something else
Garnalenpeller I think it's advice is very good. Have you ever tried it or you just sit in your comfort zone and whining about everything without even trying and always playing the victim
@@98nfsmw98 exactly
For me it's the oposite that works. When i feel people are "looking" at me i "look" at them harder (i mean that i pay atenttion to them with my mind's eye, that way i kinda forget of my existence). I believe that when you look at yourself is when the problem begins, when in public you have to focus in other people and focus in the topic you're speaking unless you feel confortable to start "looking" at your thoughts with certain privacy.
everything is clear now thank you!
In social situations I get this sense of that I better make things flow and be good at communicating otherwise it’s going to be really embarrassing and I’ll
seem weird, so then I get annoyed at the thoughts and feel forced to perform then I think forget it Ill just let it mess up and then it does it feels like ocd Tourette’s or something cant help acting awkward can’t stop the thoughts so just let it overtake me.
You do a good job explaining feelings into words. Kinda an impossible thing to do
You are some smart dude. You nailed it right on the head.
Hi, could you give me more information about that course?
great vid, Thanks!
This is brilliant
I’m more self conscious with people I know, friends and family, and when it’s just one on one or small groups because I know all their attention is on me.
Sean im a Musical Theatre student and i love the craft getting in character and imagining myself in it's position. Yet, throughout the year of college auditions, after studying a lot on how to succeed in an audition and getting in character i started becoming more and more aware of myself and how much in character in am to the panel to the point where i forgot how to act and the movements i should do during my performance. They became fake, acted out, since i was constantly disturbed by my other- consciousness thoughts (would they think im acting fake?, Im not good enough to be here! why did i move this way? i need to get in character!) and i felt like couldn´t just deliver myself to the character and the song like i used to before i was faced with competition and the high expectations i made for myself to get into a drama school. How can i stop these thoughts and this negative awareness that is blocking my freedom of performance?
So when I feel social anxiety open up to f1.4
What if someone is walking towards you and you think you should smile at him or her? If I put her into the background, I would ignore her, which can be impolite. What would you do when someone is walking towards to?
You described self consciousness really well.
Thank you!
Wow, love the movie analogy
the problem is, when i focus and make tunel vision, i start to lose the connection with people, like they dont matter at all, and i start to have a big ego, and start to do whatever i want... like no one matters only me...
Perfect explanation of social anxiety
Amazing informations
I didn’t realize that I hadn’t been fully focus until I watch this video. I do agree tho, I day dream a lot
Hey, THANK YOU
I'm amazed that I have all the symptoms you've mentioned. I'll try to see the tunnel vision way. Thanks!
it's really good one.
Thanks a lot u solve my proplem now I am Crystal clear what’s my proplem and how to overcome it...thank u once again...
Social media doesn’t help. Seeing how judgemental and mean people are to each other only validates my self consciousnesses.
Hi... I am having self conscious problem for a very long tym and u describe the same which I experience in my every day life.. I got some tips from this video n I want to learn more plz would u mind directing me to the next level.. one of ur video which ll help me improve... or what would be better for me to improve? Meditate ?thank u so much for the first lesson..🙏🙏🙏
Thank you sean great video
but why not call it task consciousness since you are talking about giving your full attension to the task in hand.
you’re fcking amazing sean! thank you
What you said is amazing, thank you😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Hello Sean! I know you have done your part! of giving THE SOLUTION to the world and now you can rest!.........still I would like to be in touch with my GURU....please keep making more videos!!
Hey Akshay bro Kya tumne vo course kia hai shyness and social anxiety Wala?
hi sean cooper how are you thank you so much i have seen your videos and i fell better ... bye
I'm going everything you talked about in this video
THANK YOU!!!!!!!
Hi I am from India. Hello to you sean. Hope you liking Pune. I have been in that place.
Is it about the direction of your focus? Or the judgement that you think people tag on you? You can still focus on people and imagine them thinking nothing or only good things about you. Maybe that could ease the tension.
I do feel self conscious when by myself. Even more then around other people.
Me too which makes it even worse when being around others because I think that they can see this too ☹ I guess I'll just die
@@Amberlynnslivertit cheer up little lady, you’ll find a way to heal and heal your self consciousness
@@AsiaRivera that helps so much
It's not quite as simple as mentally blurring out random strangers, eg strangers approaching you on a city street. People can and do make a difference in a real world of interactions and feedback loops. I have tried blanking approaching people out due to overwhelming anxiety but this has caused outright ridicule on a number of occasions. Just the right amount of nonchlance / acting / street smarts / awareness and non awareness is required to pull this off during anxiety. Fine tuning is key. All would be so much easier if a friendly companion could offer objective feedback.
Your communication is sharp
So awesome
Sorry, I forgot about my feedback about this video. Could you maybe also say how to not focus on other people? Is this more detailed in your system if we decide to buy it? I'll do my best to take you're advice and that it takes time and practice, but I'm not sure how I can focus more on doing what I'm doing when doing things. Also, try to be in a area where it doesn't look so dark. I could barely see you're face, especially with the glare I already have from the light coming from my window hitting the screen. Thanks :)
U were in pune koregaon park !! I Also live in pune .Love your videos.Fan from india
I suffer from severe self consciousness ( i focus on my body functions too much ) and severe self awareness mixed with an anxiety disorder. Which is a fucked up combo , I focus on my body and I focus on how I must live and try to control everything i do or want to have . But that does not go too well . i am struggling so hard right now . I have severe anxiety attcks it is lasting all day . Breathlessness , feeling like am losing my mind. I am in a dark place my friends. Wish me good luck ! Wish me recovery .
This is the paradox of the term "self-conscious" which does seem to mean "self-unconscious" in terms of attention directed outward instead of inward. I feel like there's something to say here about introversion and extraversion too, do introverts and extraverts experience "self-consciousness" differently? Thanks so much for this, it's the first time I've seen or heard anything speak to the felt experience of "self-consciousness", rather than the intellectual abstraction of it.
I lost that ability lol. I'm here to learn about having it
Hey sean where is your new videos
Thanks you changed my life
Waiting for your comeback
Glad u found peace
I think you're explaining through and through 'living in the present..' this is nothing new. Meditation helps greatly in achieving this state of focused 'being'
This is amazing info but I’m wondering for example if at an event with lots of family and family in-laws, and friends of loved ones (since I have no friends bc of this issue) how do you tunnel vision when everyone’s opinion of you matters? Wondering every second what they’re thinking of my walk my talk my mannerisms and am I awkward, does my mouth twitch it’s non stop. So when everyone in the scene matters and it’s a large crowd how can you handle that with this in mind? Thank you for the vid it’s a great one
Fo S ho, In life there are only 2 problems--mind and the body. Doing public speaking courses are very useful. To feel relaxed reduce negative thoughts. Be careful what you feed your mind. Avoid comparing yourself physically or mentally with others. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 10-15-20 minutes or more. You can sit or lie down, anywhere-anytime with eyes closed. Never meditate with expectations but with awareness. No deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. With practice the mind will relax. Keep a reminder to observe your breath sensations throughout the day and night --before sleep, when reading, at work, at home, when travelling etc with eyes open or closed. Like me make this a lifetime habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.
@@shyaaammeneen63 wow thank you so much
@@shyaaammeneen63 wow thank you so much
@@shyaaammeneen63 wow thank you so much
@@shyaaammeneen63 wow thank you so much
A great video bruh! =)
Helpfull
This was legit.
Hi Sean
Please I sent you a mail but never had a reply from you or the team.