Dear TikTok moms... If you have time to have an account on an extremely toxic platform, act out, edit, and post a TikTok... you can survive doing those 2 baskets of laundry
That 2 positives before a negative is going to make your partner worried a criticism is coming every time you start to tell them a compliment. It’s also going to make the compliments seem like they aren’t genuine and are just a requirement to be able to say what you really think.
I’ve been married for about 10 years now and we’re about to have our 7th child. Best marriage advice I ever received was from my mom: pride has no place in a marriage. Be truly humble and serve your spouse without expectations. It will change your life for the better because its the right thing to do. My husband and I serve each other even when the other isn’t necessarily deserving, but we do it because we’re called to service. It has made our marriage strong enough to last through losing a child, a job loss that put us in poverty for a while, and living completely away from all support systems for a while with little kids.
servings without expectation is huge. knowing that marriage is seasons, that much is temporary and we grow from trials. sounds like you got some wonderful advice.
Started seeing my husband at 20 years old. We have been together 17 years so far. My advice is this- No matter who you are with they are going to piss you off. Get over it.
true! hahaha but you both choose to adjust your attitude towards each other and make yourself better for yourself, your other half and your children and it just works. No dramas.
My only problem with marrying young for me is financials. I’m 18 in uni and not planning to marry until I finish my masters which after calculating Ill be around 31 y/o give or take a few years. I live of 300 dollars a month currently and I’m broke af all that time and can’t get a part time job because my career path forces me to study 5 hours a day on top of lecture classes, I’m scared I won’t be able to find a wife when I’m 31 😔
When I feel overwhelmed by daily stay at home mom duties and think about wanting to complain to my husband I remember he’s crawling around under houses and in 100 degree attics installing hvac all day so I can stay home with the kids. And then I shut my mouth 😂 I could NEVER do what he does. Teamwork makes the dream work!
@@jaydiamunoz5918 Exactly. We both have hard days sometimes but if we switched places for a week we would both be begging to go back to our regular roles lol.
A married couple should be able to complain/vent to one another. They are your partner and confidant. It shouldn't be a competition when doing so either.
Imagine being married to someone who can’t take hearing they didn’t dry knives properly without two compliments first... Sheesh! These videos make me even more grateful for my spouse.
Carbonated metal will rust when exposed to water so if you let the knives drying slowly or worse put them on wet surfaces then you ruin them. Knives need maintenance and care.
She was saying that the husband isn’t doing his fair share of the work. This is a real issue relating to gender inequalities; don’t know why Matt is failing to acknowledge that it is also a husband’s responsibility to lead fairly and ensure this power isn’t being abused. In most marriages both parties are salaried workers, in this circumstance if the husband is laying the heavy burdens on his wife and not changing his ways when this is communicated, this is grounds for divorce as it will breed resentment and an absent father isn’t good for kids involved.
@@user-gh8bm8ct5t you should try doing mens work. You’d change your mind quick. My wife has never felt your way. But recently she had to don a paint suit to care for a sick animal we have on the Farm with a skin condition. She lasted 12 minutes before complaining of a headache and heat exhaustion. I wear that suit in a 90 degree shop 4/5 hours a day during the summer doing body work and paint. Women have no clue what we do to our bodies to feed our family.
But it's true. Everyone who complains about "wage slavery" or other such nonsense is thinking that somehow they can survive without actually taking care of themselves.
As a person who lives in pain since a serious climbing accident 30 years ago I relate fully to Matt’s comment. Life is, literally, suffering. And I think God gives it to us as a gift to round us out. To smooth the edges..to drive us closer to Him.
My wife and I got married at 21 and 22 after dating for a little over a year. Was it hard? YES! Would I change anything about growing up together? NO! And now our kids will grown by the time we are in our later 40s
I have the same story except we were married in under a year, and we are much younger than you are. We had our first baby a year and a half later so we will be in the same boat
Same ages, but we waited on kids. I feared our own immaturity, knowing that having kids means you have to cut the crap and the selfishness. Also wanted to be more financially secure. Well.... obviously it got better and was easier to do, but those concerns never completely go away until the kid is here in front of you, or when you find out you're pregnant. My son is 9mo now, and I'm tiring 35 tomorrow. Regrettably, I'll be a slightly older parent, but I am more financially secure than I once was and have a better handle on who I really am. Like you said, you have to choose your hard.
I feel like if I gave my husband criticism by starting with 2 compliments he'd just get really annoyed. I would too, because we're adults and we can handle criticism from each other without needing to kiss ass prior.
So her advice is accurate just not for husbands and wives... It is more on the level of criticism from a Co-Worker... You start with the positive it will get them to listen better and then end on the negative.
Any intelligent coworker will see right through this too. Eveyone just grow up! Be kind and respectful and then tell the hard truth when it needs to be told. Also accept criticism graciously and forgive other people for being human.
One thing I've noticed with couples who get married late is that, since they lived their whole twenties single and "boss over their own head". Have their own jobs and place to live, it's in general harder for them to be married to another person and conflicts arise more often about sacrificing things for each other. While I notice that people who got married in their early 20ies, never lived alone and left their parents house when they got married, are more likely to compromise for each other since they never had the "luxury" of "being their own boss". Just an observation I've made over the last 3 year learning about marriage and observing many married couples
The two stories are my sister and I. I boss my way till my thirtys and marriage have been so hard for me in the beginning coz I had it all , I thank God He humbled me, if not I would have divorce. My sister left my parents home in her twenty,got married got a job she said is easier
100% agree, this has been my experience too. I got married at 19, moved from my parents house to our apartment together the night of the wedding. Very happily married, we barely had any trouble integrating our lives ❤️
I tried explaining this to my friend after I broke up with my long term boyfriend saying how I wanted to get married soon still. To a new guy obviously. And she is like "no get your life lived yada yada." No I don't want to do that I wanna be in a good relationship 😂
I doubt it! Thinking this man is a good marriage counselor is horrifying! You clearly don't have a healthy relationship with your woman or man. It's okay to ask for help.
I had a college professor who liked to spout off life advice instead of talking about the subject matter during class, and especially marriage advice. He asserted that he was an expert on marriage because he had been married 4 times and divorced 3 times. I couldnt help but laugh at that. If you wanted advice on how to build a house and your options were a guy who had built one house and lived in it for 40 years, or a guy who has built 4 houses over the last 40 years because the first 3 fell apart after a decade or so, who are you going to ask?
Perhaps it's best he didn't really talk about the subject of the class, everything you would learn could potentially be completely wrong. You gotta love people who think highly of there own advice.
I understand what you’re saying and it kind of makes sense. That said, I think as a general rule you can learn more from someone who has failed and then succeeds than someone who has never failed. Obviously the devil is in the details when it comes to something like marriage. My sense is the guy was a total tool that sucked at relationships I was just throwing an idea out there to consider.
@@nicholaslawler3146sometimes yoga is also used by females to attract/con males. They don’t really do it but pretend to do it. It is a sexual manipulation tactic.
I got married at 19 & it was the best decision of my life. Happily married to the love of my life for 43 wonderful years. Two great kids & 7 beautiful grand babies. LIFE IS GOOD 💕
@@webmasale being from a religious Jewish orthodox community, I know a lot of girls who got married at 19, I myself got married at 21. If you don't like your situation, leave, go somewhere else where people live the way you want to live. Dont start blaming society for all your problems. I'm sure there are others out there like you.
That last bit I learned with my second girlfriend. She was black and I was white, and I was of course not trying to be too forceful or “toxic.” She would act out often and one time just asked me why I don’t speak up for myself and put her in her place when she’s acting ridiculous? She said she was attracted to men who take charge, not doormats. It was definitely a red pill moment for me realizing how people really are vs. how Hollywood teaches us they are.
I wanted to marry young but had a hard time finding someone who shared my values. I'm hoping for a better go in my 30's but I'm content with singleness if that's my lot in life. God is good either way 🙌🏾💙
Don't worry dude, I met my wife when I was 30, got married at 35 now we have a little family with another on the way., been together 10 years. There's no magic age, i was nowhere near ready in my 20s, it's all based on statistics. Get yourself a younger partner and none of this biological clock stuff matters any way 🙌
Just pray and ask the Lord to send you a good fearing spouse and He will do it if it is His will. Pray for it. No matter the age, not all people have the possibility to marry in their 20's, but you can still have a nice family.
Best thing I ever did for my marriage is putting aside my ego. I'd also like to add for women, your husband may not say the right thing the way you'd like but it's still the right thing.
Marriage is so personal that it really varies as to what will work for that particular couple. I’ve known people that married in their 30s and are wonderful together. I’ve met couples that have met and married in their 60s and are happy. And I’ve met couples that married as teens and have had over 50 years together. Each relationship is different and can’t be treated with blanket advice.
The problem is that each of those scenarios has reasoning behind it. Married in your 30's is a rough time. Those years you've could have spent developing together are gone. Instead, you have to hope you find someone that is a perfect puzzle match. There is going to be very little flexibility there unlike in your 20s where you conform to each other. In your 60's you've likely been married before and lost your loved ones. Many are doing it to not be lonely and are willing to make greater compromises as they're starting to near the end of their lives.
I used to work with this married couple, and one time the wife told me how she broke her husband from the habit of throwing his dirty clothes on the floor beside the hamper, instead of inside the hamper. She just stopped washing the clothes that were on the floor, and only washed the ones inside the hamper. When he ran out of clean clothes, he asked her about it, and she told him that his clothes weren't in the hamper. After that, he never threw his dirty clothes on the floor again.
@@sabrinarasulova9350 How do you know what will work in most families? Only by trying it someone can know it and some men probably need extreme measures in order to understand and remember something that they do not deem important...
Thats not extreme its called operant conditioning. Extreme would be nagging to your man and then he really wont want to do it because now your coming at him with frustration and anger. This is simple boundary setting nothing wrong with that. If this does escalate and become a bigger issue than have a civil conversation on why and if that does t get through than you’re dealing with someone that just doesn’t respect boundaries and externalizes blame, and thats a core issue right there
@@stephenmarshall8367 And its not a problem until these kids start to have their own families. Then they need to separate. Otherwise if its ok for parents/children and u have a big house, np.
Married at 22, next year we’ll celebrate 10 years. 4 kids in, and we’ll likely be enjoying our grandkids in our 50s. Marrying my husband when I did was the best choice I’ve ever made!
The girl saying she needs compliments before her spouse can give constructive criticism is basically admitting she’s only comfortable when others are emotionally manipulating her. Yikes.
I've been with my husband for 18 years and married for 13 years. What everyone does in their marriage may ONLY work for them... I'm a SAHM and my husband works from home.. but he still helps clean and get the kids from school when needed. Everyone's marriage should be tailored to them
The one from the divorce attorney made me literally laugh out loud. I’m a single mother and have to do all of that by myself everyday. If you think getting a divorce because your husband isn’t helping is going to make it any easier…WRONG. Now you have to do all of the things you divorced him for by yourself anyway. Like either get over it or woman up and ask him to help, seriously.
I will never understand that logic!!! I just took the 4 children I nanny to the beach by myself and had to feed and wash and take them out all by myself (ages 1-5), and I thought to myself, who would sign up to be a single parent?!?! Does not make it easier.
Exactly! I am divorced and have to do it all anyway so who cares if your husband does nothing around the house. I hate hearing things from married women like how her husband doesn't scrub the toilet right. Really, woman? You have a partner who shares the load financially and even if he is not perfect he is trying.
@@dj393 I have never expected a man to do a lot of housework. Just do the basic things. And when it comes to children, don't act like you're babysitting them; they are your children, too!
When discussing the odd compliment strategy, constant repetition of this practice will ultimately lead to you or your partner just expecting a criticism/problem after complimenting. This not only reduces the positive communication that was trying to be established, but leads to false assumptions/expectations that could cause compliments to lose their value, even if they were true/genuine!
Exactly, that was a terrible advice/strategy. I have no idea why people need to complicate simple things into intricate games. Don't pussyfoot around the issue, that just makes the whole problem worse if you can't or won't communicate in a genuine way. Just come out with it. Doesn't mean you have to be a dick about it, of course you can be pleasant about your words and your tone, but just speak your mind so we can get it over with.
Yes this, I experienced the same thing recently with my manager. He would say "You're doing great but" and then start pointing out these tiny things I was doing wrong. I was thinking about it later and was like, the vague compliment is totally negated when you go "yeah but" and start nitpicking. It's just lip service to make you feel less like an asshole and moreover I'm not a moron, I can tell you don't like me so just criticize me if you are going to criticize me. They also use the "nice" facade to make you seem like a bad guy if you push back against their criticism too. I think as well the whole idea of using a strategy like this assumes people don't have the emotional capacity to handle the truth or that conflict must be avoided at all costs when it is sometimes necessary and in fact would lead to a better outcome.
I got married at 30 after 7 years together. By 37 we were parting ways. I found a good man at 38 and now at 52 we are still going strong. I don’t think age has much to do with it. It’s weather or not you were on the same page with goals and intentions before AND during marriage.
My dad had long hair and did/still does yoga. He's also a proud gun owner, conservative, welder, hardworking father and husband, and an overall very intelligent guy who seeks the truth, same as Matt. His name is also....Matt. So. Yeah.
The rule of two positive compliment before a critisism, sounds like something an arrogant woman would come up with. And a rule that she is rarely going to implement herself.
Or it can show that you are a cultured person. Be it man or woman, if something is wrong, just say something good about it first then say what's wrong with it. They will feel more appreciated. In the workplace too a boss is more appreciated if they gave compliments first then said what was wrong with it. Some ppl like ti straight. Some don't. Depends on the person. There is no right or wrong with this one.
Married at 26 did alot of travelling, tried for children at 30, it didn't happen overnight and took 3 years for us to conceive... Happy to report we have a healthy baby four month old girl in our lives. Wife is slightly older than me by a few months. People EXPECT things to happen for them at the drop of a hat. My best advice is don't wait till your 30s, mid to late 20s, start trying for children because you don't know how it's going to go for you. My top advice. 👍
@@xinpingdonohoe3978 Reading comprehension may be difficult for you but to summarise my original post:- 1. We travelled for four years. 2. If your wife has been on 'the pill' for a number of years it can take well over 12months for her to become fertile again. The above is if everything is well, if couples struggle or have fertility problems you're talking years upon years of treatment and no guarantee it'll work.
I didn't meet my husband till we were both 29, we married at 31. That was right for us, he was the right man for me. We had 3 boys, all in my 30s with no issues conceiving or with pregnancy. Everyone is different.
He's not saying that getting married in your 30s is wrong. He's just saying that if you met the person you want to spend your life with in your 20s, don't wait til your 30s to marry that person
I married at 35 to the right guy, even if I wanted to marry younger it just didn´t happen for me. No issues conceiving either... all the drama about being a mother over 35 bothers me, it makes you feel old and so worried. I do feel that marrying older has its advantages though!
You met your husband at 29. A lot of people start dating earlier and are afraid of commitment. I also noticed even if they get married, they have 3 dogs but wait too long to have kids and then start having fertility issues. Pregnancies at the age older than 35 are considered high-risk pregnancies. People are different but there is medical statistics and we'll society can't rely on someone's personal experience only.
The biggest issue with the third(?) one, giving two compliments before providing criticism, is that now any time either of them wants to compliment the other, the other person is now subconsciously waiting for the criticism to drop. It's going to provide a lot of stress on that marriage.
Definitely an issue. Maybe the answer is to separate the two. Compliment/recognize more frequently, show love. Then these complaints/requests can already be in a context of trust.
I think that's the point of what Matt was getting at is: Don't come up with stupid "tricks" or artificial bullshit. That's like a bad coder using band-aid hacks to fix their shitty program. Learn to be a better programmer. Get the "algorithm" of your behavior as a life partner with someone right, or just fix it.
@@Mt.Moonface what!? you don't agree with my analogy. That was at the OP then right? ;) ... either way it is a dumb analogy though lolz. kinda true tho! but just extra.
Both sets my grandparents got married at 16. My grandparents on my dad's side just celebrated their 65th anniversary. On my mom's side, death due them part, but they were able to celebrate their 60th. My parents got married at 18. They celebrated their 25th anniversary, but then my mom passed away. They were still very much in love though. Divorce has been rare in my family.
bro that's YOUNG AF ok on my end my Mother was 32 and my father was 34 when they got married in fairness they were in their 30s when they first met so it's not like they put it off for a long time on my Dads side of the family Grandparents got married aged 27 and were married for 64 years before my Nana passed away last year aged 91 on my Mothers side Grandparents were ah feck i will probably get the date wrong but i think my Grandfather was 35 and my Grandmother was 21 yes i know big age gap this was back in the 40s and on my end i am probably never getting married my Parents divorced and while it was not the nastiest split ever it was more unpleasant then i would have liked even to this day 13 years after they got divorced it still pisses off my Mother that she sees him because when you have kids together more or less your stuck with each other in some way
Reesa Myers, you are extremely fortunate to have good examples of marriage in your family. You are extremely likely to have the same success, having grown up surrounded by so many enduring relationships. It's extremely sad that, in today's society, so many people view marriage as disposable. They believe that if it's not all rainbows and unicorns, their best option is to just give up. They fail to realize that marriage takes consistent effort to be fulfilling, meaningful, and long lasting. Neither set of my grandparents were good models of marriage(s). Both of my parents are actually on their third marriage. They've both been divorced twice. However, neither of them had children in their prior marriages. They were 27 and 28 when they married each other in 1971; they had my brother in 1978 and had me in 1980. They will be celebrating 51 years of marriage on October 11th of this year. It still takes good communication and some compromise on both parts to keep their marriage strong. They are still very much in love with each other, and I'm fortunate to see the many ways they express their love to each other.
My feminist mother left my father. Her feminist mother left my grandfather. My not feminist grandmother is still with my conservative grandfather. Coincidence?
@@xinpingdonohoe3978 no because you answered the question that word you've used is cancer the destruction of the nuclear family and all this garbage started with the rise of that because for thousands of years before this everyone got on fine and the family unit functioned pretty fine but 5 seconds ago relative time we stopped that and yea it's a mess
Storytime: I purchased a very expensive gratitude journal and actually became stressed out whenever I didn't make an entry so the idea of daily, mini relationship goals on slips of paper might actually cause problems in my marriage 😅
I dated my wife since we were 13, and got married at 20. Best decision we have ever made. Happy as shit, successful and independent. Haven't ever been handed a damn thing. 10/10
Turned 26 in May, had my fifth wedding anniversary in July. Getting married young was by far the best decision I ever made in my young adult life despite being told the opposite by just about everyone.
We got married at 22. Now we're 36. Definitely glad we got married at 22, especially because we did have to struggle with fertility issues! (3 beautiful girls now).
Well , some people they go throught strugles in life and they simply dont find a husband or a wife till later. My mum had me at 43 because she met my dad when she was around 38. Before that, she was working for a religious organitzations and doing charities with nuns in diferent countries. She never regreted that even a little bit Also she had my brother at 45! And both of us were born at home. Homebirth, natural pregnancy. She didnt even go to the hospital, we were born on her bed 😅 So... diferent people need diferent things. I agree with marrying young. But not everyone is lucky to find their husband or wife that early. Specially if you had an abusive father or an abusive mother. Most likely you will need years to heal from it, and you wont be able to have a happy marriage unless you take some years to go to therapy
Same. Turning 26 in November, and having our fifth wedding anniversary this month, and already have two, beautiful children. Would not have done it any different
My husband and I have been together since we were 16 and 19. We got married when I was just shy of 21 and my husband was 23. We have 2 beautiful boys and have a great marriage.
Married at 20, I absolutely love my wife and our marriage is very healthy. Our first baby is due in 3 days. Marrying young is the best thing you can do so you can build a life with them. Good advice Matt!
To be fair to the divorce lawyer, she isn't just skilled at breaking up marriages, she likely sees a lot of people and gets an idea of what breaks them up. To Matt's credit on the first one, if people took marriage seriously and the vow they take, less would end.
yea i think that really is one of the biggest problems with Marriage ending is that so many people just do not take it seriously and are not fully aware of what they are doing
Here’s how you have a successful marriage-never ever ever (but never!) tell a woman your problems. And stop having “relations” out of wedlock. And never ever ever but never(!) marry an older woman... oh and never ever ever (but NEVER) marry an educated woman. Marry a woman who desires the (very honorable) place a woman has in society, as a mother and wife
I agree, plus I agreed with her advice. In your 20s are a bit tumultuous. You've left high school and you are establishing everything to follow like career and even where you want to live. I think it's best to wait until you've established the basics in your life before joining another person into it.
Yeah, I think the divorce lawyer is talking from experience and relating to people what she’s seen. Matt might disagree with her advice, but if you’ve seen a lot of people break up you’ll give advice based on how not to get to that point.
I agree. The metaphor he used isn’t exactly accurate, either. “Taking marriage advice form a lawyer is like taking advice from a shark on where the best swimming is.” Actually it’s more like the shark saying “Hey, you could swim there, but there’s a lot of sharks and danger in that area. Just a heads up.” If everyone took the vow seriously, it wouldn’t be an issue. Unfortunately, Most men don’t realize that until they’re in front of a judge who’s telling them “Do you want to keep half of your stuff or none of it? And do you want to see your kids half of the time or none of the time?” I believe in marriage. I believe good families are the foundation of a strong country. Men, Just be careful and know what you’re getting into.
I remember having a conversation with my husband about taking the lead because same thing, society told him not to. When I told him to do it, be the man, take the lead, I could see the sparkle in his eye. He needed to be told yes because society told him no. Since then, he's taken more lead and by doing so I even feel like more of a queen because he's happier which means I get more love and attention. And also it's so nice because I work like a man. When I come home, I want a break from the decision making, so it gives me more peace. Let men be men!
I'm single and never been married. And I give people advice about marriage and other life issues but I based my advice on what my parents, grandparents and other married couples tell me. I also use the bible for advices.
@@daniella8400 you act like those guys don't snag girls on the regular. They're single atm. They've been in more relationships than you have guaranteed. They give advice on hooking up. Not exactly rocket science.
I got married at 23, the best decision of my life! we are married for 13 years, and what worked is trying not to be a victim from both ends. Love the apron!
The hat thing made me laugh. I worked all weekend. Yesterday alone I worked 10 hours on my feet. I dragged myself home, fed hubby & animals & crashed on couch. No, I have no time in life to do quirky things I wrote down a month ago.
I can imagine Ben Shapiro snatching the only two burgers that Matt is grilling, and as he walks away telling Matt, " I'm going to eat this next to the giant walrus"
Amazing advice Matt. One thing that has helped my marriage was to stop being so emotional and childish as a woman and adopt a much more rational mindset. I have become more productive, more happy, better able to communicate with my husband,, and more able to handle the stress of managing a home and raising kids. Women have a stereotype of being whiny and high needs and not able to take criticism. I have tried to change that and it has changed me from needing external validation or motivation to being internally driven and content.
Maybe it is because little girls are told they can cry as much as they want and get away with it or they do not get constructive criticism and only useless criticism that serves mo purpose and so by the time they get married, they are not well equipped to accept criticism or to not whine when they do not like something. Maybe it also helps if the husband is able to take criticism and remember to change some annoying things
Best time to get married is after She says yes. Despite insisting She loves surprises, trust me a surprise wedding before the proposal rarely ends well.
I’m a woman and I appreciate straight forward. If it sets me off, we argue, kiss and make up. The blond looking into the camera is just plain creepy… like she will knife you for an infraction.
That’s lawyers for you. Also a female here, and I hate the idea of being kissed up to before a criticism lol. It’s so manipulative, too. Just get to the point already!
My husband and I are also straight forward like that with each other! We try not to bring up whatever is bothering us when we're at the emotional height of it, but it sometimes happens. Either way, we still sit down, talk about it, and move on. I've only just recently broken away from a friend group that would collectively agonize about problems, bringing them up again and again without making moves to solve them, and it was driving me nuts because I felt like I was the only one who wasn't like that.
Married at 22, first baby at 23, and we’ve had some unbelievable experiences in our 20s thanks be to God. I’m so happy we didn’t wait. I’m 35 now, and sitting with a newborn baby. Praised be to God after many years of not being able to have children we welcomed our fourth baby the other day. Yesssssss!!!! Getting married younger helps you to grow together. A LOT OF VALUE IN THAT!!! God Bless, Matt!
3:05 A LITTLE LOUDER FOR THE ONES IN THE BACK. I was 21 and hubby 19 when we got married. We've been married for almost 30 years now and have had very few fights, part of the reason we've always gotten along so well is because we built our adult lives TOGETHER rather than tried to mesh two fully formed lives into one.
I totally agree with the marriage age thing. I've never been an adult, building my life, without my husband. We got married at 18, and have been together now for 13 years, and have 3 children. I never had to try and fit him into my life because he's always been there.
I wish I could have married young. I’m running out of hope I’ll get married at all, let alone before thirty. But if I do get the chance… I worry about how separate lives could mesh. I find myself occasionally debating things that could end up too permanent as I wouldn’t want it to hold me back from a potential union and traditional marriage and family.
@@ladyolinden just get out there and meet people, you don't need a bar necessarily. You could join a hobby club, a gym, go out to the park etc. Worst case scenario, dating websites exist. There's still a lot of people looking for love at this age
@@ladyolinden why put yourself in stress like this? There is no one right way to live and be happy. Don't let shows like this make you sad. I met my soulmate at 40. The other ralationships did not work out, thats life. You know whats worse than being single being in a unhappy relationship.
“After a long day of being a mom” goodness. Motherhood was so amazing before it has been heralded as this impossible task that gets you out of everything
Bro how even old are you? Ok women are not saying we are oppressed because we are moms. We have just become more open about where things are hard in the journey because it allows other moms to come in and maybe share how they over came that struggle. It’s called building a village and seeking help or maybe just getting the stress of her chest.
I’m a professional nanny. I make a lot of decisions not only for my own household but for other people‘s household. When my husband asked me what do I want for dinner I don’t have an opinion because I’ve already used all my opinions for the day. I don’t care what we have for dinner. I just want him to make the decision. So when he asked me what I want I say I don’t care. And then he asked me what I don’t want. And I feel like that’s a helpful question. Because if I had burgers for lunch with the kiddos I don’t want burgers for dinner. And he doesn’t know what I had for lunch.
Yes. Im a shared nanny which means i manage multiple households at the same time. I have 4 kids. 3 familys. Clean it all every week. Wash the clothes like a good nanny does. Cart kids around. Luckly all the kids get along.
The woman who said "i want you to take the lead." is refreshingly honest. I hate it when it goes back and forth and noone wants to make a decision. Can relate very much.
I’ve literally had this knife conversation with my husband. He said “hey I’m worried our knifes are going to rust. We should probably do a better job drying them before we put them away.” Me “Yeah I’ve noticed that too, okay.” If you’re the type of woman/man who sees a suggestion or a solution to a silly problem from your husband/wife as a personal insult, or attack on you I’d say grow up before you get married. Serious women/men know their husband/wife is on their team. Suggestions are made in an attempt to make your team stronger. (This last comment was made mostly for women…a lot of y’all are too freaking sensitive, juvenile, and don’t know what marriage is actually about) ✌️
@@danielseelye6005 When you have expensive knives, they are usually made from carbon steel. Carbon steel is harder and more brittle, and rusts. You need to dry it off immediately after using. And yes, you can look it up, Katanas, aka Japanese swords, rust. Hopefully, one day, you too will know the pleasure of using a $400 knife and having to dry it off.
I met my husband at university, but there’s a twist: he was my professor in my first year 😂 I remember my first lecture with him. One hour in, I was already interested in him and found him attractive. I eventually developed a crush on him because I found him so kind. He always smiles at me when he saw me on the street. He was considered to everyone. At that time, he was also hoping to become a priest. I admired his faith, and that made me even more interested. But he was only my professor in the first semester. Eventually I graduated and became an assistant at my university. By then I had already forgotten him.. But when I started being more in touch with him again, we became closer, and I felt my old crush coming back. I tried to ignore it, because work is supposed to be professional, and I didn’t want to bother him in any way. Turns out he felt the same, and now we’re married 😂
My husband and I got married when I was just 20, we have 5 kids together(including a set of twins) and just celebrated our 18 year anniversary. He's not just the love of my life but my very best friend and that's what we built our foundation from. Matt is spot on, be direct, don't be afraid to have the hard conversations. Holding things back or sugar coating will never help or bring resolution. Getting married young was probably the best decision we ever made to be honest, we already have 1 kid out of the house, about to have 2; and they'll all be out when I'm only 43. Then we can travel together and just enjoy the life we worked so hard for. As much as I adore my children, and as hard as it is to watch them fly the nest, I cannot wait to have that one on one time!
Right on I had a lot of problems at 20 years old I'm 39 myself just turned it and I never had a chance to get married because of my problems drug problems to be exact and the lack of that structure has caused a lot of problems in my life I now have epilepsy though from head trauma but he pulls no punches with the truth about marriage
And in retrospect no matter what problem you have with whatever person especially your significant other I've learned to be absolutely direct and pull no punches you shouldn't do that with anyone especially your family it keeps a good open line of communication especially about how you feel
@@jum5238 Then just try saying it differently. No two people are the same. Matt's advice doesn't work for every marriage. Perhaps compliment the wife first then say what went wrong.
Lmao I love these… the only thing I disagree with Matt is marrying young. If I would have married in my early 20’s, I would have had a marriage with men who weren’t meant for me. It was only in my later 20’s(28) that I’ve become more mature, strong in my faith that I’m now able to look for what I think will be strong pillars for my future kids(a strong father, someone who is devout Catholic, etc.). It was through going through those rough times that I had to come to this realization! If I would have had kids back then, they would have gone through brokenness, alcoholism, and much more. Sure that doesn’t happen to everyone and some people are blessed to meet and marry the right partner young. But with so much now in society, it’s somewhat more difficult to find a young person with good morals (not impossible just a little harder than before). So I think it’s smarter to wait and make sure you’re making the right choice in finding a spouse. Do it for your future children!!
Thank you I completely agree! I’m SO glad I didn’t get married in my 20s! 32 and still not married and 100% fine with that until I meet the right man. What you want when you’re 20 changes as the years go by. Definitely do not recommend marrying young.
@@AlexasArtRoom and 32 is still soo young! It’s better to know what you want in a partner than to settle with just anyone. It’s not the 1940’s anymore lol. Also, I’ve changed SO much even from when I was 25 to 28…there is no “right” timeline for anyone.
Looking at the stats of success though, the country is full of women who partied in their 20s, found themselves in their 30s, decided to settle down and found that by their 40s all the men worth mareying had been locked down by women who married them over a decade earlier, and now live on wine and breed cats while their eggs dry up.
@@snorman1911 I don’t drink, but I’d rather be happy alone with my cats than to have married someone in my twenties before I knew the things I liked and didn’t like and before I knew myself. Settling for the sake of not being alone is something I will never do. And on the other hand you see a lot of people who were married young and end up divorced because they shouldn’t have ever been married in the first place. It is totally possible to find love past your twenties, and to also have children past your twenties. I know someone who successfully had a child in their 40s. I myself find more freedom in the path I have taken-not settling in my twenties, not having kids and being able to do whatever I want whenever I want. Everyone is different.
@Pale Rider yea right now I'm 23 and what really shocks me is 19 year olds not only having sex but MARRIED like by the time this person was my age they were already married for 4 years yet here am i still single never even kissed a woman i know i can't beat myself up over this but i get really depressed hearing about stories like this person because it makes me feel like i am rapidly falling behind in life and that time is rapidly running out to find someone i get panicky because i feel like i have less then 7 years to get it all sorted life wise or I'm fucked for good
@@kurtpunchesthings2411 Or you can be like me and just not care. Marriage is a beautiful thing but I'm not clamoring for it and I'm already happy with the things I have now. If I meet the perfect woman for me, great; if not, then okay.
@@toothlesstoe Same here bro. There are other things that make me happy. Marriage is whatever. Only the perfect person (for you) is worth it, as you said, everything else is a waste of time and energy.
That's incredibly rare. It's good that everything worked out for them, but high school "sweethearts" getting married before they're even 25 is one of the biggest mistakes couples make nowadays. You're still a kid growing into a completely different person and more often than not, you're going to grow apart and have new interests.
@@BleedingGrafitti Yup. Best time to get married is mid to late 20s. Someone who marries at 20 is *over 50 percent more likely* to get divorced than someone who weds at age 25.
@@casebased8391 They were raising my brother? Plus they were trying but at the time my mom had really bad scar tissue that was blocking her tubes and preventing her from getting pregnant. She didn't know until she finally went to the doctor, that's why I popped up at around 30. Plus 2 kids is all the wanted, like most people these days.
10:20 "Life is work" my dad literally says this all the time. He says work is perceived too negatively, and life's too short to be negative about what you do everyday.
She may represent a conflict of interest regarding divorce since she is a divorce lawyer. She may also be aware of what causes marriages to succeed or fail because of her proximity to it.
At one hand, getting married at a young age makes sense biologically (womens vlock etc.) At the other hand getting married early while you are far easier influenced by hormones & emotion, makes it also better to not get maatied to early in your early twenties. Although all of this changes grom couple to couple and various other factors also have some influence. But yes, I agree that that one isn't that simple
Either the sun was in Matt’s eyes to the point that it was making him appear to be smiling or he broke character for this entire video. Not quite as badly as the counter burrito, but definitely broken. 😂
That women didn’t feel appreciated, and sometimes felt degraded for the “women’s work” is a reason why feminism caught on. She should show appreciation that he works all day, and he should show appreciation for her work as well.
Yes, gratitude makes a huge difference. My husband is so sweet about praising me and noticing what I've done right or well, instead of focusing on what I did wrong or didn't do. It's encouraging. Especially at the end of a long day. I try to do the same for him. He works hard for us.
Matt is totally correct on the being direct. I wanted my husband to take me out to dinner this weekend and i wqs hinting at it till he was like "just say what you want!" We then went out to dinner lol
The "Sh*t sandwich" routine of enveloping cold criticism in a cocoon of warm indulgence is an old workplace one and it's useless unless your goal is for the respondent to immediately forget the criticism and walk off in a bubble made of your compliments. For a marriage, I can see it being quite destructive by hollowing out the nice things you say to each other and turning them into transparent tools rather than acts of love. For people management, it is NEVER a bad idea to end a tough meeting with a one or two positive comments to reaffirm your staff member's value in their place, but turning a discussion that is meant to be constructive into a love-in just makes people feel immune to negative feedback and hurts productivity, in my experience.
at 8:06 its all in a mentality of "I have to do EVERYTHING" when in reality, all she has to do is her role in the relationship, she cares for the children and does work around the house. She completely neglects the fact that her husband is most likely up early to make enough money to sustain the family financially. So while she complains about having to care for the kids, clean up, and do laundry, her husband is out ensuring that they have enough money. Keeping her from having to need a job so that she can have time to do her part in the relationship
I’d say when someone should get married totally depends on the individual and their maturity. I would have married someone completely wrong for me in my early twenties because I was immature and attracted to emotionally unavailable people. Now I have the knowledge I need not to pick a bad person.
I'd say as a man it might make sense to marry later, since you want to have your life and finances together before kids, but as a woman marrying late doesn't make much sense.
It's cause you were not taught how to pick a person acc to your needs. Rather you picked acc to your wants. In my country we are taught as soon as we become teens to be aware of who is who. And to be careful on who we decide as our life partner. Someone who is stable is more important than someone "cool"
@@kapurants she is saying that if you as a woman have some issues , you will not be able to get married to a good person in your early 20s. My mother she has an abusive father. She was gonna marry somebody in her early 20s who beated her up and treated her so badly. Because she didnt have time to get over her emotional issues so she choose somebody like her father. She went to therapy and became a nun for about 10 years. She unexpectedly met my dad when she was around 36 I think. By that time she already moved on from having an abusive dad, because she had time to heal herslef, so she could be with my dad. If she would have met my dad in her early 20s she would have not been able to be with him because she had issues. By the way she still had 3 kids and have been an awsome mother, and happy with my dad. That is what this person means. In life you get older physically but if you are using your life well, you also have a soul and a mind and those things may change too. Sometimes you need to learn how to be a good partner. Not everybody is able to do that so quickly. I got married at 23 because I had a good father and a happy childhood so I was ready to choose a good partner and to be a good partner. But not everybody is emotionally ready for this, and for some people it may be a big mistake to have kids and marry young, because they may end up divorcing if they were not ready for it. So... its good to respect all diferent paths. That is what this person is trying to explain
My 9 year old asked me for a tiktok account the other day & myself and his 16 year old brother said no! I made a deal with my 9 year old that if I download the app he can use it with me. He then said “ok well when are you downloading the app?” In which I replied “never!”. He wasn’t amused but I was. lol.
Cliche as it is, communication - clear, honest, and loving - is what makes and keeps marriages strong. Husband and wife sharing their emotions, needs, and desires with each other (yes, men, talking about your emotions does have a place!) and listening to each other makes it work. You can never expect anyone to know what you're thinking and feeling if you don't tell them. So ladies, none of this "He should just know" what I want, need, or feel. And guys, when your wife is complaining about a problem, listen and then ask if she wants it fixed right now or just to be heard. She may know what she needs to do to fix the problem (perhaps in exactly the way you were going to suggest) but needs to express how she feels about it, to be seen, understood, and cared for. Communication! It's a cliche for a reason
"I feel like we've gotten in less fights" If you are having "Fights" plural every week you have deeper problems in your relationship than are going to be resolved by forced compliments. My wife and I will be married 24 years in a couple weeks. I can count the number of fights we have in 5 years on average on one hand.
She might be talking about heated disagreements rather than full-blown yelling matches. I wouldn't shy away from calling a 2 minute argument about how the dishes are supposed to be washed a fight; something really big would be an altercation or something.
I show my love everyday for my husband by cooking his meals, cleaning our house (he does half the house clean) and the laundry etc. it’s the little boring things that need to be done everyday that help show your love.
I think what age you should get married at depends on so many factors. I know people who got married young who are happy, and people who married young who are miserable - same with people who married “older”. I know a lot of people in their 20s who are not mature or responsible enough to be married, and I know people who are personally ready to be married but can’t find a partner who’s a good fit, or who is mature and responsible. I think if you’re ready and you have the right person when you’re young, fantastic!! That’s great, and probably the ideal situation. But I think there should be less emphasis on what age is the perfect age and more on working on any personal flaws that are going to be obstacles to marriage to make sure that you’re ready whenever God brings your spouse into your life.
As a single, childless woman in my late twenties, if I had had the option, I would have married younger. I have had relationship issues and also don't get approached by men very often, which is why I'm still single. I definitely support people marrying under 25, although they should think through what they're doing. I think ideal age is 25 for men and maybe slightly younger than 25 for women. Although I wouldn't say anything like, "wait until you are older", I would more say to make sure you're really in love with each other and that the person is really right for you.
The 3rd one comes from the "Nurtured Heart Approach" It's a therapeutic theory used to help reduce unwanted behaviors in kids with behavioral problems/ mental health issues. It's pretty funny that this lady wants to be treated like an adolescent with an oppositional defiant disorder.
If I want the man to pick where we eat, when asked "where do you wanna go to eat?" Instead of saying "idk" I just say "you pick were we will eat and I will be happy with whatever you pick." Then he picks where we eat, I'm happy, he's happy.
Seems as though Matt only smiles while interacting with his kids or when he's grilling burgers. What a legend.
#masculinity
@he was I was thinking the same
Yeah when someone criticizes me for not showing emotion, I say "It's because I'm a man. And what are you?"
Facts
Or when he sees something ridiculous on his show
Dear TikTok moms... If you have time to have an account on an extremely toxic platform, act out, edit, and post a TikTok... you can survive doing those 2 baskets of laundry
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
🤣🤣🤣🤣 you got that!!
:HERE is the guy who started the BOT"
th-cam.com/video/CWfd8OjWkwg/w-d-xo.html
I'd be happy if my wife did 1 basket of laundry per day...
She could dry those damn knives better.
That 2 positives before a negative is going to make your partner worried a criticism is coming every time you start to tell them a compliment. It’s also going to make the compliments seem like they aren’t genuine and are just a requirement to be able to say what you really think.
well then don't let the only time you compliment them be before criticism. compliment don't even without criticism and then that won't be a problem
Every individual is different. If she's saying it works for her, it probably works for her.
😂😂😂
Gonna run out of compliments eventually, keep a list and start recycling. xD
Better to just keep your mouth shut and have people think you're a fool than to open it and remove all doubt
I’ve been married for about 10 years now and we’re about to have our 7th child. Best marriage advice I ever received was from my mom: pride has no place in a marriage. Be truly humble and serve your spouse without expectations. It will change your life for the better because its the right thing to do. My husband and I serve each other even when the other isn’t necessarily deserving, but we do it because we’re called to service. It has made our marriage strong enough to last through losing a child, a job loss that put us in poverty for a while, and living completely away from all
support systems for a while with little kids.
servings without expectation is huge. knowing that marriage is seasons, that much is temporary and we grow from trials. sounds like you got some wonderful advice.
SEVEN ?
@learnbydoing homeschool no
How did you financially manage with the job loss and the little children? Was it not financially scary to have seven children?
You have my respect. Good job.
Started seeing my husband at 20 years old. We have been together 17 years so far. My advice is this- No matter who you are with they are going to piss you off. Get over it.
true! hahaha but you both choose to adjust your attitude towards each other and make yourself better for yourself, your other half and your children and it just works. No dramas.
😂😂😂😂😂
Facts. 🤣🤣
Lol 😂😂😂😂😂 married for last 14 years, i can agree so damn fricking true
My only problem with marrying young for me is financials. I’m 18 in uni and not planning to marry until I finish my masters which after calculating Ill be around 31 y/o give or take a few years. I live of 300 dollars a month currently and I’m broke af all that time and can’t get a part time job because my career path forces me to study 5 hours a day on top of lecture classes, I’m scared I won’t be able to find a wife when I’m 31 😔
When I feel overwhelmed by daily stay at home mom duties and think about wanting to complain to my husband I remember he’s crawling around under houses and in 100 degree attics installing hvac all day so I can stay home with the kids. And then I shut my mouth 😂 I could NEVER do what he does. Teamwork makes the dream work!
W wife
He could never do what you do either 😂 I feel that same way with mine and I’m like this is why men are men and women are women 😂
@@jaydiamunoz5918 Exactly. We both have hard days sometimes but if we switched places for a week we would both be begging to go back to our regular roles lol.
Same! However I still complain 😂 being a stay at home mom is hard and overwhelming. Being a working father is hard and probably overwhelming too!
A married couple should be able to complain/vent to one another. They are your partner and confidant. It shouldn't be a competition when doing so either.
The fact that he started out with the Soviet Union national anthem caught me off guard and made me laugh
It’s for Labor Day
I know, I just thought it was funny
lol same 🤣
FUNNY FOOTAGE OF MATR RÄPING his BF
th-cam.com/video/CWfd8OjWkwg/w-d-xo.html
Reminded me of bidens speach Thursday
Imagine being married to someone who can’t take hearing they didn’t dry knives properly without two compliments first... Sheesh! These videos make me even more grateful for my spouse.
Imagine telling someone they didn’t dry knives “properly”? 🤦♀️
In 15 I don't think I've ever told my wife she didn't dry something properly. What the hell is that.
@@riocat6708 exactly 😂
Carbonated metal will rust when exposed to water so if you let the knives drying slowly or worse put them on wet surfaces then you ruin them. Knives need maintenance and care.
Bizarre that they stipulated one had to be physical and one had to be mental lol
Best part... Matt talking with another married guy and saying offhandedly "it's a lesbian thing". And then the guys chuckle together knowingly.
😂😂
LMFAO
yup, she must be marrying a lady if that kind of cuty stuff played romantically
“The thing that kills a marriage is self pity.” 💯💯💯💯
Ha 69
She was saying that the husband isn’t doing his fair share of the work. This is a real issue relating to gender inequalities; don’t know why Matt is failing to acknowledge that it is also a husband’s responsibility to lead fairly and ensure this power isn’t being abused. In most marriages both parties are salaried workers, in this circumstance if the husband is laying the heavy burdens on his wife and not changing his ways when this is communicated, this is grounds for divorce as it will breed resentment and an absent father isn’t good for kids involved.
@@user-gh8bm8ct5t you should try doing mens work. You’d change your mind quick. My wife has never felt your way. But recently she had to don a paint suit to care for a sick animal we have on the Farm with a skin condition. She lasted 12 minutes before complaining of a headache and heat exhaustion. I wear that suit in a 90 degree shop 4/5 hours a day during the summer doing body work and paint. Women have no clue what we do to our bodies to feed our family.
@@user-gh8bm8ct5t Why is she doing 4+ loads of laundry a day?!
No it's the belittling of the spouse.
Hysterically laughed at the “life is suffering” bit & him saying he tells his wife that all the time.
But it's true. Everyone who complains about "wage slavery" or other such nonsense is thinking that somehow they can survive without actually taking care of themselves.
It’s true
Buddha was right.
SCOTT PECK. 'LIFE IS HARD, SUFFERING IS OPTIONAL'.
As a person who lives in pain since a serious climbing accident 30 years ago I relate fully to Matt’s comment. Life is, literally, suffering. And I think God gives it to us as a gift to round us out. To smooth the edges..to drive us closer to Him.
My wife and I got married at 21 and 22 after dating for a little over a year.
Was it hard? YES!
Would I change anything about growing up together? NO!
And now our kids will grown by the time we are in our later 40s
Why are you doing things that are hard? When you can make things easy.
@@creativitysubs9935 life is hard. You pick your hard.
I have the same story except we were married in under a year, and we are much younger than you are. We had our first baby a year and a half later so we will be in the same boat
@@creativitysubs9935 do the hard work especially when you dont feel like it
Same ages, but we waited on kids. I feared our own immaturity, knowing that having kids means you have to cut the crap and the selfishness. Also wanted to be more financially secure. Well.... obviously it got better and was easier to do, but those concerns never completely go away until the kid is here in front of you, or when you find out you're pregnant. My son is 9mo now, and I'm tiring 35 tomorrow. Regrettably, I'll be a slightly older parent, but I am more financially secure than I once was and have a better handle on who I really am. Like you said, you have to choose your hard.
"It's a lesbian thing."
Matt, you make me laugh, bro.
He’ll never read this
@@_WOR But his team will and they'll encourage him to continue similar humour. 4D Chess, baby.
It's okay that you're gay.
We except you. No laughing...
Yeah, only women would think that's a good idea. Weak men might agree for a time, but who wants a friend like that?
@@garyhoffman5620 no its not.
I feel like if I gave my husband criticism by starting with 2 compliments he'd just get really annoyed. I would too, because we're adults and we can handle criticism from each other without needing to kiss ass prior.
That's how it should be, not pandering like little children.
So her advice is accurate just not for husbands and wives... It is more on the level of criticism from a Co-Worker... You start with the positive it will get them to listen better and then end on the negative.
Any intelligent coworker will see right through this too. Eveyone just grow up! Be kind and respectful and then tell the hard truth when it needs to be told. Also accept criticism graciously and forgive other people for being human.
@@joshuaslawson9125 i guess, but it depends on how stupid you think the person is that you are trying to "butter up".
@@WigganNuG well it isn't buttering up it is literal psychological fact that humans respond better to criticism with a positive before a negative.
One thing I've noticed with couples who get married late is that, since they lived their whole twenties single and "boss over their own head". Have their own jobs and place to live, it's in general harder for them to be married to another person and conflicts arise more often about sacrificing things for each other.
While I notice that people who got married in their early 20ies, never lived alone and left their parents house when they got married, are more likely to compromise for each other since they never had the "luxury" of "being their own boss".
Just an observation I've made over the last 3 year learning about marriage and observing many married couples
The two stories are my sister and I.
I boss my way till my thirtys and marriage have been so hard for me in the beginning coz I had it all , I thank God He humbled me, if not I would have divorce.
My sister left my parents home in her twenty,got married got a job she said is easier
100% agree, this has been my experience too. I got married at 19, moved from my parents house to our apartment together the night of the wedding. Very happily married, we barely had any trouble integrating our lives ❤️
Thanks for sharing you two, I've had the same experience, we got married at 22 and 24. We don't have any big issues at all. Never have fought
I tried explaining this to my friend after I broke up with my long term boyfriend saying how I wanted to get married soon still. To a new guy obviously. And she is like "no get your life lived yada yada."
No I don't want to do that I wanna be in a good relationship 😂
If your marriage is characterized by walking on eggshells, that's no marriage.
Periodt 😅
Yes, and it means you are married to someone with one or more psychological issues.
Amen
It's a good sign though if you can afford that many eggs.
Among being the nations leading children’s author, women’s studies expert, alien researcher and more, Matt is also the leading marriage counselor
I doubt it! Thinking this man is a good marriage counselor is horrifying!
You clearly don't have a healthy relationship with your woman or man. It's okay to ask for help.
@@garyhoffman5620 …why? What was wrong with his advice specifically?
@@Samya.R Dont bother. Gary is probably a transgender speaking.
I agree with this
@@garyhoffman5620 We can tell your a Liberal Succubus. Get out of here with you "lack of" Facts or reasoning.
I was married at 19. I'm 35 now, my kids are grown up. My husband and I have grown together over 16 years and it's been amazing 😊
I had a college professor who liked to spout off life advice instead of talking about the subject matter during class, and especially marriage advice.
He asserted that he was an expert on marriage because he had been married 4 times and divorced 3 times.
I couldnt help but laugh at that.
If you wanted advice on how to build a house and your options were a guy who had built one house and lived in it for 40 years, or a guy who has built 4 houses over the last 40 years because the first 3 fell apart after a decade or so, who are you going to ask?
HILARIOUS!!!
Perhaps it's best he didn't really talk about the subject of the class, everything you would learn could potentially be completely wrong.
You gotta love people who think highly of there own advice.
Someone else is living in the other three houses. He outgrew them...
@@foxyghg You don't trade up marriages and someone else isn't now in the previous marriages.
I understand what you’re saying and it kind of makes sense. That said, I think as a general rule you can learn more from someone who has failed and then succeeds than someone who has never failed. Obviously the devil is in the details when it comes to something like marriage.
My sense is the guy was a total tool that sucked at relationships I was just throwing an idea out there to consider.
“Unfortunately for you, you married a guy with long hair who does yoga” shi made me laugh 😭😭
12:28
I may trigger someone oh well but yoga is for ninnies
@@nicholaslawler3146sometimes yoga is also used by females to attract/con males. They don’t really do it but pretend to do it. It is a sexual manipulation tactic.
"I get it, I'm a laryngitis survivor myself." 🤣🤣🤣🤣💀 Brilliant as always, Matt!
I got married at 19 & it was the best decision of my life. Happily married to the love of my life for 43 wonderful years. Two great kids & 7 beautiful grand babies. LIFE IS GOOD 💕
I bet I would be married too at that time. Too bad modern technology and boomer economy screwed us.
Well done! 👍👍👍
what a wonderful life!
@@webmasale being from a religious Jewish orthodox community, I know a lot of girls who got married at 19, I myself got married at 21. If you don't like your situation, leave, go somewhere else where people live the way you want to live. Dont start blaming society for all your problems. I'm sure there are others out there like you.
@@adararelgnel2695 My college mates all married as soon as they were 18 or 19. Arranged marriage. Tradition. They are all fine.
That last bit I learned with my second girlfriend. She was black and I was white, and I was of course not trying to be too forceful or “toxic.”
She would act out often and one time just asked me why I don’t speak up for myself and put her in her place when she’s acting ridiculous? She said she was attracted to men who take charge, not doormats.
It was definitely a red pill moment for me realizing how people really are vs. how Hollywood teaches us they are.
That’s just women in general bro, her being black is pretty irrelevant
You were white? Has that changed? Lol
@@setsuna1f1seiei he's like reverse Michael Jackson
@@Riqo2Suave pretty much describing an immature/toxic girl. Girls who playing games. Those who love drama,
@@Riqo2Suave I guess he was trying to be extra sensitive because he is an "oppressive skin colour" or something.
I wanted to marry young but had a hard time finding someone who shared my values. I'm hoping for a better go in my 30's but I'm content with singleness if that's my lot in life. God is good either way 🙌🏾💙
Same, married at 35 to the best guy in the world, worth the wait!!
Don't worry dude, I met my wife when I was 30, got married at 35 now we have a little family with another on the way., been together 10 years. There's no magic age, i was nowhere near ready in my 20s, it's all based on statistics. Get yourself a younger partner and none of this biological clock stuff matters any way 🙌
Just pray and ask the Lord to send you a good fearing spouse and He will do it if it is His will. Pray for it. No matter the age, not all people have the possibility to marry in their 20's, but you can still have a nice family.
I just got married at 35, glad I waited for Gods best. You got this, stay strong!
I am Nigerian traditional girl looking for a person who will appreciate my values.
Best thing I ever did for my marriage is putting aside my ego.
I'd also like to add for women, your husband may not say the right thing the way you'd like but it's still the right thing.
True true
Or as it's known colloquially, bent the knee
Based.
@@sparkyfister Not being combative is "bending the knee?" I don't think so.
My ego and pride are definitely hurting my relationship. I applaud you for being able to set that aside
Marriage is so personal that it really varies as to what will work for that particular couple. I’ve known people that married in their 30s and are wonderful together. I’ve met couples that have met and married in their 60s and are happy. And I’ve met couples that married as teens and have had over 50 years together. Each relationship is different and can’t be treated with blanket advice.
Exactly. You can get married young and yet accomplish very little or nothing together. Choose wisely who you spend your time with.
The problem is that each of those scenarios has reasoning behind it. Married in your 30's is a rough time. Those years you've could have spent developing together are gone. Instead, you have to hope you find someone that is a perfect puzzle match. There is going to be very little flexibility there unlike in your 20s where you conform to each other.
In your 60's you've likely been married before and lost your loved ones. Many are doing it to not be lonely and are willing to make greater compromises as they're starting to near the end of their lives.
I used to work with this married couple, and one time the wife told me how she broke her husband from the habit of throwing his dirty clothes on the floor beside the hamper, instead of inside the hamper. She just stopped washing the clothes that were on the floor, and only washed the ones inside the hamper. When he ran out of clean clothes, he asked her about it, and she told him that his clothes weren't in the hamper. After that, he never threw his dirty clothes on the floor again.
Sorry, but that will not work in most families.
Extreme measures, but at least he got it.
@@sabrinarasulova9350 How do you know what will work in most families? Only by trying it someone can know it and some men probably need extreme measures in order to understand and remember something that they do not deem important...
I would call it common sense. Such approach is kinda extreme and could cause more fights.
Thats not extreme its called operant conditioning. Extreme would be nagging to your man and then he really wont want to do it because now your coming at him with frustration and anger. This is simple boundary setting nothing wrong with that. If this does escalate and become a bigger issue than have a civil conversation on why and if that does t get through than you’re dealing with someone that just doesn’t respect boundaries and externalizes blame, and thats a core issue right there
I married my wife at 23. Best damn decision I’ve ever made. 2 beautiful kids that will be out of the nest in our 40s. Too based.
I don't know Brandon..lots of kids live with their parents until their 30s these days..just saying..good luck..
@@stephenmarshall8367 not if you raise them right
@@stephenmarshall8367 And its not a problem until these kids start to have their own families. Then they need to separate. Otherwise if its ok for parents/children and u have a big house, np.
Married at 22, next year we’ll celebrate 10 years. 4 kids in, and we’ll likely be enjoying our grandkids in our 50s. Marrying my husband when I did was the best choice I’ve ever made!
@@CatfishHeaven777 You right. Being raised right makes rent cheaper. Tool bag
The girl saying she needs compliments before her spouse can give constructive criticism is basically admitting she’s only comfortable when others are emotionally manipulating her. Yikes.
Right!!? I immediately become suspicious when someone starts laying it on thick.
She sounds very insecure
Not to mention the compliment comes across as unbearingly condescending lmfao
Huge Ego
It's because she's an overgrown child.
I've been with my husband for 18 years and married for 13 years. What everyone does in their marriage may ONLY work for them... I'm a SAHM and my husband works from home.. but he still helps clean and get the kids from school when needed. Everyone's marriage should be tailored to them
The one from the divorce attorney made me literally laugh out loud. I’m a single mother and have to do all of that by myself everyday. If you think getting a divorce because your husband isn’t helping is going to make it any easier…WRONG. Now you have to do all of the things you divorced him for by yourself anyway. Like either get over it or woman up and ask him to help, seriously.
I will never understand that logic!!! I just took the 4 children I nanny to the beach by myself and had to feed and wash and take them out all by myself (ages 1-5), and I thought to myself, who would sign up to be a single parent?!?! Does not make it easier.
@@Rosie_C it makes no sense! I didn’t sign up to be a single parent and given the choice, I wouldn’t. It’s not easy.
Exactly! I am divorced and have to do it all anyway so who cares if your husband does nothing around the house. I hate hearing things from married women like how her husband doesn't scrub the toilet right. Really, woman? You have a partner who shares the load financially and even if he is not perfect he is trying.
@@dj393 I have never expected a man to do a lot of housework. Just do the basic things.
And when it comes to children, don't act like you're babysitting them; they are your children, too!
@@dj393 It's why more and more men are opting out of marriage.
When discussing the odd compliment strategy, constant repetition of this practice will ultimately lead to you or your partner just expecting a criticism/problem after complimenting. This not only reduces the positive communication that was trying to be established, but leads to false assumptions/expectations that could cause compliments to lose their value, even if they were true/genuine!
Exactly, that was a terrible advice/strategy. I have no idea why people need to complicate simple things into intricate games. Don't pussyfoot around the issue, that just makes the whole problem worse if you can't or won't communicate in a genuine way. Just come out with it. Doesn't mean you have to be a dick about it, of course you can be pleasant about your words and your tone, but just speak your mind so we can get it over with.
@@Baalaaxa Agreed.
💯
Also arguing isn’t a bad thing necessarily. It seems like he was being petty and it’s ok to call him out for that.
Yes this, I experienced the same thing recently with my manager. He would say "You're doing great but" and then start pointing out these tiny things I was doing wrong. I was thinking about it later and was like, the vague compliment is totally negated when you go "yeah but" and start nitpicking. It's just lip service to make you feel less like an asshole and moreover I'm not a moron, I can tell you don't like me so just criticize me if you are going to criticize me. They also use the "nice" facade to make you seem like a bad guy if you push back against their criticism too. I think as well the whole idea of using a strategy like this assumes people don't have the emotional capacity to handle the truth or that conflict must be avoided at all costs when it is sometimes necessary and in fact would lead to a better outcome.
I got married at 30 after 7 years together. By 37 we were parting ways. I found a good man at 38 and now at 52 we are still going strong. I don’t think age has much to do with it. It’s weather or not you were on the same page with goals and intentions before AND during marriage.
This! Everyone's different, and frankly I don't care when other people decide to get married, it's their life not mine.
Respect
Agreed.@@spookymumbles3884
Best advice: be honest, direct, respectful and when you address your needs ask what you can do to meet their needs better too.
"She wants him to be masculine. Unfortunately for you, you married a guy who has long hair and does yoga."
My sides hurt from laughing at this.
My dad had long hair and did/still does yoga. He's also a proud gun owner, conservative, welder, hardworking father and husband, and an overall very intelligent guy who seeks the truth, same as Matt. His name is also....Matt. So. Yeah.
I have long hair and stretch. 🤦♂️
Nothing wrong with long hair. ❤ Jesus has long hair! ❤
Nothing wrong with yoga. The best thing for your mind, body and spirit. And long hair is incredibly attractive.
😂
Hahaha. Exactly. Whenever my husband comes with some silly compliment I'm always like ok ,what do you want or what did do?
The rule of two positive compliment before a critisism, sounds like something an arrogant woman would come up with.
And a rule that she is rarely going to implement herself.
That's what Trump's staff had to do... They'd tell him two good things before giving him bad news.
It's actually similar to the "critique sandwich," which can be helpful. Not sure about it in this type of context, though.
Or it can show that you are a cultured person. Be it man or woman, if something is wrong, just say something good about it first then say what's wrong with it. They will feel more appreciated. In the workplace too a boss is more appreciated if they gave compliments first then said what was wrong with it. Some ppl like ti straight. Some don't. Depends on the person. There is no right or wrong with this one.
@@btsarmyforever3816 BTS makes the most cringey songs ever recorded. If your music choice is so pathetic, your opinion is rejected.
Married at 26 did alot of travelling, tried for children at 30, it didn't happen overnight and took 3 years for us to conceive... Happy to report we have a healthy baby four month old girl in our lives.
Wife is slightly older than me by a few months.
People EXPECT things to happen for them at the drop of a hat. My best advice is don't wait till your 30s, mid to late 20s, start trying for children because you don't know how it's going to go for you.
My top advice. 👍
When ur young it's easier to deal with young kids because you have more energy. 30 is a bit too old but congrats anyway
@@Fartiosa
Tell me about it 😂
What took so long? Only 7 white tadpoles swimming around in there?
Enjoy the daughter though. Daughters are the best thing for men to have.
@@xinpingdonohoe3978
Reading comprehension may be difficult for you but to summarise my original post:-
1. We travelled for four years.
2. If your wife has been on 'the pill' for a number of years it can take well over 12months for her to become fertile again.
The above is if everything is well, if couples struggle or have fertility problems you're talking years upon years of treatment and no guarantee it'll work.
@@xinpingdonohoe3978 Geez that was mean for no reason. Fertility can be a finicky thing, which is why no one should wait too long.
I didn't meet my husband till we were both 29, we married at 31. That was right for us, he was the right man for me. We had 3 boys, all in my 30s with no issues conceiving or with pregnancy. Everyone is different.
He's not saying that getting married in your 30s is wrong. He's just saying that if you met the person you want to spend your life with in your 20s, don't wait til your 30s to marry that person
@@emyle225 I didn't say what he had said was wrong, just giving my opinion.
I married at 35 to the right guy, even if I wanted to marry younger it just didn´t happen for me. No issues conceiving either... all the drama about being a mother over 35 bothers me, it makes you feel old and so worried. I do feel that marrying older has its advantages though!
That's really wonderful! Thanks so much for sharing!!
You met your husband at 29. A lot of people start dating earlier and are afraid of commitment. I also noticed even if they get married, they have 3 dogs but wait too long to have kids and then start having fertility issues. Pregnancies at the age older than 35 are considered high-risk pregnancies. People are different but there is medical statistics and we'll society can't rely on someone's personal experience only.
The biggest issue with the third(?) one, giving two compliments before providing criticism, is that now any time either of them wants to compliment the other, the other person is now subconsciously waiting for the criticism to drop. It's going to provide a lot of stress on that marriage.
Definitely an issue. Maybe the answer is to separate the two. Compliment/recognize more frequently, show love. Then these complaints/requests can already be in a context of trust.
I think that's the point of what Matt was getting at is: Don't come up with stupid "tricks" or artificial bullshit. That's like a bad coder using band-aid hacks to fix their shitty program. Learn to be a better programmer. Get the "algorithm" of your behavior as a life partner with someone right, or just fix it.
Not really 😂
@@Mt.Moonface what!? you don't agree with my analogy. That was at the OP then right? ;) ... either way it is a dumb analogy though lolz. kinda true tho! but just extra.
Plus the compliments are fake as hell. Who gives genuine compliments on demand?
Both sets my grandparents got married at 16. My grandparents on my dad's side just celebrated their 65th anniversary. On my mom's side, death due them part, but they were able to celebrate their 60th. My parents got married at 18. They celebrated their 25th anniversary, but then my mom passed away. They were still very much in love though. Divorce has been rare in my family.
bro that's YOUNG AF ok on my end
my Mother was 32 and my father was 34 when they got married in fairness they were in their 30s when they first met so it's not like they put it off for a long time
on my Dads side of the family Grandparents got married aged 27 and were married for 64 years before my Nana passed away last year aged 91
on my Mothers side Grandparents were ah feck i will probably get the date wrong but i think my Grandfather was 35 and my Grandmother was 21 yes i know big age gap this was back in the 40s
and on my end i am probably never getting married
my Parents divorced and while it was not the nastiest split ever it was more unpleasant then i would have liked even to this day 13 years after they got divorced it still pisses off my Mother that she sees him because when you have kids together more or less your stuck with each other in some way
Reesa Myers, you are extremely fortunate to have good examples of marriage in your family. You are extremely likely to have the same success, having grown up surrounded by so many enduring relationships. It's extremely sad that, in today's society, so many people view marriage as disposable. They believe that if it's not all rainbows and unicorns, their best option is to just give up. They fail to realize that marriage takes consistent effort to be fulfilling, meaningful, and long lasting.
Neither set of my grandparents were good models of marriage(s). Both of my parents are actually on their third marriage. They've both been divorced twice. However, neither of them had children in their prior marriages. They were 27 and 28 when they married each other in 1971; they had my brother in 1978 and had me in 1980. They will be celebrating 51 years of marriage on October 11th of this year. It still takes good communication and some compromise on both parts to keep their marriage strong. They are still very much in love with each other, and I'm fortunate to see the many ways they express their love to each other.
I’m very sorry for your loss… I’m glad to hear they were very happy with a loving family
My feminist mother left my father. Her feminist mother left my grandfather. My not feminist grandmother is still with my conservative grandfather.
Coincidence?
@@xinpingdonohoe3978 no because you answered the question that word you've used is cancer the destruction of the nuclear family and all this garbage started with the rise of that because for thousands of years before this everyone got on fine and the family unit functioned pretty fine but 5 seconds ago relative time we stopped that and yea it's a mess
Feeling unappreciated is not grounds for divorce. You said your vows. For better or worse. People give up too easily.
When Matt starts to smile you know the tiktoks are bad and he can’t wait to tell us how wrong they are
😂😂😂💪
Storytime: I purchased a very expensive gratitude journal and actually became stressed out whenever I didn't make an entry so the idea of daily, mini relationship goals on slips of paper might actually cause problems in my marriage 😅
I dated my wife since we were 13, and got married at 20. Best decision we have ever made. Happy as shit, successful and independent. Haven't ever been handed a damn thing. 10/10
Turned 26 in May, had my fifth wedding anniversary in July. Getting married young was by far the best decision I ever made in my young adult life despite being told the opposite by just about everyone.
FUNNY FOOTAGE OF JOHN Beàting up a Cat :
th-cam.com/video/CWfd8OjWkwg/w-d-xo.html
We got married at 22. Now we're 36. Definitely glad we got married at 22, especially because we did have to struggle with fertility issues! (3 beautiful girls now).
News flash: it doesn't matter when you get married or if you get married at all.
Well , some people they go throught strugles in life and they simply dont find a husband or a wife till later.
My mum had me at 43 because she met my dad when she was around 38.
Before that, she was working for a religious organitzations and doing charities with nuns in diferent countries.
She never regreted that even a little bit
Also she had my brother at 45! And both of us were born at home. Homebirth, natural pregnancy. She didnt even go to the hospital, we were born on her bed 😅
So... diferent people need diferent things. I agree with marrying young. But not everyone is lucky to find their husband or wife that early.
Specially if you had an abusive father or an abusive mother. Most likely you will need years to heal from it, and you wont be able to have a happy marriage unless you take some years to go to therapy
Same. Turning 26 in November, and having our fifth wedding anniversary this month, and already have two, beautiful children. Would not have done it any different
My husband and I have been together since we were 16 and 19. We got married when I was just shy of 21 and my husband was 23. We have 2 beautiful boys and have a great marriage.
Married at 20, I absolutely love my wife and our marriage is very healthy. Our first baby is due in 3 days. Marrying young is the best thing you can do so you can build a life with them. Good advice Matt!
I’m late but congratulations ❤🎉 my husband and I just had our first too it’s the best❤
To be fair to the divorce lawyer, she isn't just skilled at breaking up marriages, she likely sees a lot of people and gets an idea of what breaks them up.
To Matt's credit on the first one, if people took marriage seriously and the vow they take, less would end.
yea i think that really is one of the biggest problems with Marriage ending is that so many people just do not take it seriously and are not fully aware of what they are doing
Here’s how you have a successful marriage-never ever ever (but never!) tell a woman your problems. And stop having “relations” out of wedlock. And never ever ever but never(!) marry an older woman... oh and never ever ever (but NEVER) marry an educated woman. Marry a woman who desires the (very honorable) place a woman has in society, as a mother and wife
I agree, plus I agreed with her advice. In your 20s are a bit tumultuous. You've left high school and you are establishing everything to follow like career and even where you want to live. I think it's best to wait until you've established the basics in your life before joining another person into it.
Yeah, I think the divorce lawyer is talking from experience and relating to people what she’s seen. Matt might disagree with her advice, but if you’ve seen a lot of people break up you’ll give advice based on how not to get to that point.
I agree. The metaphor he used isn’t exactly accurate, either. “Taking marriage advice form a lawyer is like taking advice from a shark on where the best swimming is.”
Actually it’s more like the shark saying “Hey, you could swim there, but there’s a lot of sharks and danger in that area. Just a heads up.”
If everyone took the vow seriously, it wouldn’t be an issue. Unfortunately, Most men don’t realize that until they’re in front of a judge who’s telling them “Do you want to keep half of your stuff or none of it? And do you want to see your kids half of the time or none of the time?”
I believe in marriage. I believe good families are the foundation of a strong country. Men, Just be careful and know what you’re getting into.
I just love how matter of fact Matt talks sometimes. “So that’s terrible advice.” *proceeds to flip burger*
I remember having a conversation with my husband about taking the lead because same thing, society told him not to. When I told him to do it, be the man, take the lead, I could see the sparkle in his eye. He needed to be told yes because society told him no. Since then, he's taken more lead and by doing so I even feel like more of a queen because he's happier which means I get more love and attention. And also it's so nice because I work like a man. When I come home, I want a break from the decision making, so it gives me more peace. Let men be men!
I'm having trouble getting my bf to do that, he's been told all his life he can't, and I think now he believes it
Only in a relationship consisting of two women would you find a container filled with suggestions on how to love your "person" more.
😂
That is because men are the romantic partners, not women.
Single women giving marriage advice? Biggest red flag right their fellas. “If you want to know the path ahead of you, ask someone who’s walked it”
I'm single and never been married. And I give people advice about marriage and other life issues but I based my advice on what my parents, grandparents and other married couples tell me. I also use the bible for advices.
“There”
Pass this on to all the single men with podcast talking about women
@@daniella8400 you act like those guys don't snag girls on the regular. They're single atm. They've been in more relationships than you have guaranteed. They give advice on hooking up. Not exactly rocket science.
Women married more than once. Red flag. Til death right?
I got married at 23, the best decision of my life! we are married for 13 years, and what worked is trying not to be a victim from both ends. Love the apron!
The hat thing made me laugh. I worked all weekend. Yesterday alone I worked 10 hours on my feet. I dragged myself home, fed hubby & animals & crashed on couch. No, I have no time in life to do quirky things I wrote down a month ago.
✍️✍️✍️
what are the replies on this lmao
I can imagine Ben Shapiro snatching the only two burgers that Matt is grilling, and as he walks away telling Matt, " I'm going to eat this next to the giant walrus"
I doubt they're kosher
@@mushmoor3804 if it was Johnny the walrus it would be kosher and Ben Shapiro approved. And Matt wouldn't even object
“Do you think you could do a little better drying off these cutting knives”. I literally lol’ed when I heard that.😂😂😂😂😂
frankly, i think that husband is a c*nt. water spots on a knife are not worth the argument.
"Unfortunately for you, you married a guy with long hair who does yoga...so that was out the window to begin with."
I love you, Matt.
@RigorousBarley "The ability to speak does not make you intelligent, now get out of here." -a long haired guy named Qui-Gon Jinn
Lmao read this comment exactly as he said it
I love Matt's sense of humor sooo much. The soviet stuff, the sarcasm, the darkness. So good.
Amazing advice Matt. One thing that has helped my marriage was to stop being so emotional and childish as a woman and adopt a much more rational mindset. I have become more productive, more happy, better able to communicate with my husband,, and more able to handle the stress of managing a home and raising kids.
Women have a stereotype of being whiny and high needs and not able to take criticism. I have tried to change that and it has changed me from needing external validation or motivation to being internally driven and content.
Maybe it is because little girls are told they can cry as much as they want and get away with it or they do not get constructive criticism and only useless criticism that serves mo purpose and so by the time they get married, they are not well equipped to accept criticism or to not whine when they do not like something. Maybe it also helps if the husband is able to take criticism and remember to change some annoying things
Best time to get married is after She says yes. Despite insisting She loves surprises, trust me a surprise wedding before the proposal rarely ends well.
👆👆👆:
Gaston agrees.
They keep telling me yes, taking the ring, and then disappearing forever.
A wedding before a proposal is a thing?
@@RoninCatholic So, you were never married
I’m a woman and I appreciate straight forward. If it sets me off, we argue, kiss and make up. The blond looking into the camera is just plain creepy… like she will knife you for an infraction.
That’s lawyers for you. Also a female here, and I hate the idea of being kissed up to before a criticism lol. It’s so manipulative, too. Just get to the point already!
My husband and I are also straight forward like that with each other! We try not to bring up whatever is bothering us when we're at the emotional height of it, but it sometimes happens. Either way, we still sit down, talk about it, and move on.
I've only just recently broken away from a friend group that would collectively agonize about problems, bringing them up again and again without making moves to solve them, and it was driving me nuts because I felt like I was the only one who wasn't like that.
Yes! Our society panders to us all the time and it is gross. I don’t need that crap at home. Talk to each other directly with love and mutual respect.
Married at 22, first baby at 23, and we’ve had some unbelievable experiences in our 20s thanks be to God. I’m so happy we didn’t wait. I’m 35 now, and sitting with a newborn baby. Praised be to God after many years of not being able to have children we welcomed our fourth baby the other day.
Yesssssss!!!! Getting married younger helps you to grow together. A LOT OF VALUE IN THAT!!!
God Bless, Matt!
3:05 A LITTLE LOUDER FOR THE ONES IN THE BACK. I was 21 and hubby 19 when we got married. We've been married for almost 30 years now and have had very few fights, part of the reason we've always gotten along so well is because we built our adult lives TOGETHER rather than tried to mesh two fully formed lives into one.
I totally agree with the marriage age thing. I've never been an adult, building my life, without my husband. We got married at 18, and have been together now for 13 years, and have 3 children. I never had to try and fit him into my life because he's always been there.
18 and engaged. Libs can get rekt👍
@@sarahw8568 rektum?
I wish I could have married young. I’m running out of hope I’ll get married at all, let alone before thirty.
But if I do get the chance… I worry about how separate lives could mesh. I find myself occasionally debating things that could end up too permanent as I wouldn’t want it to hold me back from a potential union and traditional marriage and family.
@@ladyolinden just get out there and meet people, you don't need a bar necessarily. You could join a hobby club, a gym, go out to the park etc. Worst case scenario, dating websites exist. There's still a lot of people looking for love at this age
@@ladyolinden why put yourself in stress like this? There is no one right way to live and be happy. Don't let shows like this make you sad. I met my soulmate at 40. The other ralationships did not work out, thats life. You know whats worse than being single being in a unhappy relationship.
“After a long day of being a mom” goodness. Motherhood was so amazing before it has been heralded as this impossible task that gets you out of everything
Bro how even old are you? Ok women are not saying we are oppressed because we are moms. We have just become more open about where things are hard in the journey because it allows other moms to come in and maybe share how they over came that struggle. It’s called building a village and seeking help or maybe just getting the stress of her chest.
I’m a professional nanny. I make a lot of decisions not only for my own household but for other people‘s household. When my husband asked me what do I want for dinner I don’t have an opinion because I’ve already used all my opinions for the day. I don’t care what we have for dinner. I just want him to make the decision. So when he asked me what I want I say I don’t care. And then he asked me what I don’t want. And I feel like that’s a helpful question. Because if I had burgers for lunch with the kiddos I don’t want burgers for dinner. And he doesn’t know what I had for lunch.
Your a nanny? 🤣
That is a genius idea!
Yes. Im a shared nanny which means i manage multiple households at the same time. I have 4 kids. 3 familys. Clean it all every week. Wash the clothes like a good nanny does. Cart kids around. Luckly all the kids get along.
This is actually helpful. To consider what I don't wanna eat instead. Might save a lot of time in deciding. Thanks!
Great idea, because I'm tired of my wife telling me "no" repeatedly when I come up with places to go.
it's obvious how much happier Matt looks when he's outside of the studio.
The woman who said "i want you to take the lead." is refreshingly honest. I hate it when it goes back and forth and noone wants to make a decision. Can relate very much.
I got married when I was 22 yrs. old. I'll be 60 in two months and we are still going strong.
Congrats god bless you two
I’ve literally had this knife conversation with my husband. He said “hey I’m worried our knifes are going to rust. We should probably do a better job drying them before we put them away.” Me “Yeah I’ve noticed that too, okay.”
If you’re the type of woman/man who sees a suggestion or a solution to a silly problem from your husband/wife as a personal insult, or attack on you I’d say grow up before you get married. Serious women/men know their husband/wife is on their team. Suggestions are made in an attempt to make your team stronger. (This last comment was made mostly for women…a lot of y’all are too freaking sensitive, juvenile, and don’t know what marriage is actually about) ✌️
Da fuq is this about knives rusting?
Two words: Stainless Steel.
This topic is literally only to start shit. 🤦🏻♂️
@@danielseelye6005 When you have expensive knives, they are usually made from carbon steel. Carbon steel is harder and more brittle, and rusts. You need to dry it off immediately after using. And yes, you can look it up, Katanas, aka Japanese swords, rust. Hopefully, one day, you too will know the pleasure of using a $400 knife and having to dry it off.
@@twinklefire7241 Sounds like overpaying for shit blades. No thanks. I ain't paying extra for the badge on a car, same for utensils.
@@danielseelye6005 Lol ok. Not everything you personally can’t afford is shit. Enjoy the mentality.
I met my husband at university, but there’s a twist: he was my professor in my first year 😂 I remember my first lecture with him. One hour in, I was already interested in him and found him attractive. I eventually developed a crush on him because I found him so kind. He always smiles at me when he saw me on the street. He was considered to everyone. At that time, he was also hoping to become a priest. I admired his faith, and that made me even more interested. But he was only my professor in the first semester. Eventually I graduated and became an assistant at my university. By then I had already forgotten him.. But when I started being more in touch with him again, we became closer, and I felt my
old crush coming back. I tried to ignore it, because work is supposed to be professional, and I didn’t want to bother him in any way. Turns out he felt the same, and now we’re married 😂
I had no problem getting pregnant at 25, 30, 35, 37, 40, 42 and at 44. It took no longer than 2 months at any pregnancy.
My husband and I got married when I was just 20, we have 5 kids together(including a set of twins) and just celebrated our 18 year anniversary. He's not just the love of my life but my very best friend and that's what we built our foundation from.
Matt is spot on, be direct, don't be afraid to have the hard conversations. Holding things back or sugar coating will never help or bring resolution. Getting married young was probably the best decision we ever made to be honest, we already have 1 kid out of the house, about to have 2; and they'll all be out when I'm only 43. Then we can travel together and just enjoy the life we worked so hard for. As much as I adore my children, and as hard as it is to watch them fly the nest, I cannot wait to have that one on one time!
Right on I had a lot of problems at 20 years old I'm 39 myself just turned it and I never had a chance to get married because of my problems drug problems to be exact and the lack of that structure has caused a lot of problems in my life I now have epilepsy though from head trauma but he pulls no punches with the truth about marriage
And in retrospect no matter what problem you have with whatever person especially your significant other I've learned to be absolutely direct and pull no punches you shouldn't do that with anyone especially your family it keeps a good open line of communication especially about how you feel
If you have to censor your heart then it shouldn't be
I'm with the be direct route, but the wife picks apart HOW I say it, and doesn't listen to WHAT is being said. Self-pity there... gah.
@@jum5238 Then just try saying it differently. No two people are the same. Matt's advice doesn't work for every marriage. Perhaps compliment the wife first then say what went wrong.
Lmao I love these… the only thing I disagree with Matt is marrying young. If I would have married in my early 20’s, I would have had a marriage with men who weren’t meant for me. It was only in my later 20’s(28) that I’ve become more mature, strong in my faith that I’m now able to look for what I think will be strong pillars for my future kids(a strong father, someone who is devout Catholic, etc.). It was through going through those rough times that I had to come to this realization! If I would have had kids back then, they would have gone through brokenness, alcoholism, and much more. Sure that doesn’t happen to everyone and some people are blessed to meet and marry the right partner young. But with so much now in society, it’s somewhat more difficult to find a young person with good morals (not impossible just a little harder than before). So I think it’s smarter to wait and make sure you’re making the right choice in finding a spouse. Do it for your future children!!
Thank you I completely agree! I’m SO glad I didn’t get married in my 20s! 32 and still not married and 100% fine with that until I meet the right man. What you want when you’re 20 changes as the years go by. Definitely do not recommend marrying young.
@@AlexasArtRoom and 32 is still soo young! It’s better to know what you want in a partner than to settle with just anyone. It’s not the 1940’s anymore lol. Also, I’ve changed SO much even from when I was 25 to 28…there is no “right” timeline for anyone.
@@KM-ok6pk same here!! Totally agree!!
Looking at the stats of success though, the country is full of women who partied in their 20s, found themselves in their 30s, decided to settle down and found that by their 40s all the men worth mareying had been locked down by women who married them over a decade earlier, and now live on wine and breed cats while their eggs dry up.
@@snorman1911 I don’t drink, but I’d rather be happy alone with my cats than to have married someone in my twenties before I knew the things I liked and didn’t like and before I knew myself. Settling for the sake of not being alone is something I will never do. And on the other hand you see a lot of people who were married young and end up divorced because they shouldn’t have ever been married in the first place. It is totally possible to find love past your twenties, and to also have children past your twenties. I know someone who successfully had a child in their 40s.
I myself find more freedom in the path I have taken-not settling in my twenties, not having kids and being able to do whatever I want whenever I want. Everyone is different.
Married at 19 and happily married with 6 kids 16 years later. We both say we would do it over again.
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@Pale Rider yea right now I'm 23 and what really shocks me is 19 year olds not only having sex but MARRIED like by the time this person was my age they were already married for 4 years yet here am i still single never even kissed a woman
i know i can't beat myself up over this but i get really depressed hearing about stories like this person because it makes me feel like i am rapidly falling behind in life and that time is rapidly running out to find someone i get panicky because i feel like i have less then 7 years to get it all sorted life wise or I'm fucked for good
@@kurtpunchesthings2411 Or you can be like me and just not care. Marriage is a beautiful thing but I'm not clamoring for it and I'm already happy with the things I have now. If I meet the perfect woman for me, great; if not, then okay.
@@kurtpunchesthings2411 lol chill bro don't overthink it. Find what you love and enjoy life.
@@toothlesstoe Same here bro. There are other things that make me happy. Marriage is whatever. Only the perfect person (for you) is worth it, as you said, everything else is a waste of time and energy.
Any man that says he is trying not to be "toxically masculine" is probably not someone I would expect to live long once shtf.
He is definitely not masculine.
"man" asserts he is going to act toxically masculine, precedes to act obnoxiously feminine and limp dicked
@@user-xd2xx3nl5u I think he contracted the toxic disease of being a male feminist.
I think he's super desirable, he was able to communicate incredibly respectfully and treats her with dignity. Make me one like that
My wife said, "you never listen to me". I replied, "what?"
Parents got married at 19. Had my brother at 20 and me at 30. They where high-school sweet hearts and where together until my dad passed away at 61.
That's incredibly rare. It's good that everything worked out for them, but high school "sweethearts" getting married before they're even 25 is one of the biggest mistakes couples make nowadays. You're still a kid growing into a completely different person and more often than not, you're going to grow apart and have new interests.
Only 2 kids? Yikes. What were they doing for a whole decade?
@@BleedingGrafitti Yup. Best time to get married is mid to late 20s. Someone who marries at 20 is *over 50 percent more likely* to get divorced than someone who weds at age 25.
@@casebased8391 They were raising my brother? Plus they were trying but at the time my mom had really bad scar tissue that was blocking her tubes and preventing her from getting pregnant. She didn't know until she finally went to the doctor, that's why I popped up at around 30. Plus 2 kids is all the wanted, like most people these days.
His assistant busted up when Matt says “are they married?” Kills me
10:20 "Life is work" my dad literally says this all the time. He says work is perceived too negatively, and life's too short to be negative about what you do everyday.
She may represent a conflict of interest regarding divorce since she is a divorce lawyer. She may also be aware of what causes marriages to succeed or fail because of her proximity to it.
She was also married for 41 years
At one hand, getting married at a young age makes sense biologically (womens vlock etc.) At the other hand getting married early while you are far easier influenced by hormones & emotion, makes it also better to not get maatied to early in your early twenties.
Although all of this changes grom couple to couple and various other factors also have some influence. But yes, I agree that that one isn't that simple
That was the way I took it.
100% agree.
Either the sun was in Matt’s eyes to the point that it was making him appear to be smiling or he broke character for this entire video.
Not quite as badly as the counter burrito, but definitely broken. 😂
Yeah lol
You're a cougar
That women didn’t feel appreciated, and sometimes felt degraded for the “women’s work” is a reason why feminism caught on. She should show appreciation that he works all day, and he should show appreciation for her work as well.
Yes, gratitude makes a huge difference.
My husband is so sweet about praising me and noticing what I've done right or well, instead of focusing on what I did wrong or didn't do. It's encouraging. Especially at the end of a long day.
I try to do the same for him. He works hard for us.
Matt is totally correct on the being direct. I wanted my husband to take me out to dinner this weekend and i wqs hinting at it till he was like "just say what you want!"
We then went out to dinner lol
The "Sh*t sandwich" routine of enveloping cold criticism in a cocoon of warm indulgence is an old workplace one and it's useless unless your goal is for the respondent to immediately forget the criticism and walk off in a bubble made of your compliments. For a marriage, I can see it being quite destructive by hollowing out the nice things you say to each other and turning them into transparent tools rather than acts of love.
For people management, it is NEVER a bad idea to end a tough meeting with a one or two positive comments to reaffirm your staff member's value in their place, but turning a discussion that is meant to be constructive into a love-in just makes people feel immune to negative feedback and hurts productivity, in my experience.
at 8:06 its all in a mentality of "I have to do EVERYTHING" when in reality, all she has to do is her role in the relationship, she cares for the children and does work around the house. She completely neglects the fact that her husband is most likely up early to make enough money to sustain the family financially. So while she complains about having to care for the kids, clean up, and do laundry, her husband is out ensuring that they have enough money. Keeping her from having to need a job so that she can have time to do her part in the relationship
I’d say when someone should get married totally depends on the individual and their maturity. I would have married someone completely wrong for me in my early twenties because I was immature and attracted to emotionally unavailable people. Now I have the knowledge I need not to pick a bad person.
I'd say as a man it might make sense to marry later, since you want to have your life and finances together before kids, but as a woman marrying late doesn't make much sense.
It's a shame you learned that too late.
It's cause you were not taught how to pick a person acc to your needs. Rather you picked acc to your wants. In my country we are taught as soon as we become teens to be aware of who is who. And to be careful on who we decide as our life partner. Someone who is stable is more important than someone "cool"
@@kapurants she is saying that if you as a woman have some issues , you will not be able to get married to a good person in your early 20s.
My mother she has an abusive father.
She was gonna marry somebody in her early 20s who beated her up and treated her so badly. Because she didnt have time to get over her emotional issues so she choose somebody like her father.
She went to therapy and became a nun for about 10 years.
She unexpectedly met my dad when she was around 36 I think.
By that time she already moved on from having an abusive dad, because she had time to heal herslef, so she could be with my dad.
If she would have met my dad in her early 20s she would have not been able to be with him because she had issues.
By the way she still had 3 kids and have been an awsome mother, and happy with my dad.
That is what this person means.
In life you get older physically but if you are using your life well, you also have a soul and a mind and those things may change too.
Sometimes you need to learn how to be a good partner.
Not everybody is able to do that so quickly.
I got married at 23 because I had a good father and a happy childhood so I was ready to choose a good partner and to be a good partner.
But not everybody is emotionally ready for this, and for some people it may be a big mistake to have kids and marry young, because they may end up divorcing if they were not ready for it.
So... its good to respect all diferent paths.
That is what this person is trying to explain
@@Yulia.chandrika thank you for this 🙏 there is a difference between ideals and real life.
Papi Walsh is the go-to man for advice. Love from South Africa 👌
My 9 year old asked me for a tiktok account the other day & myself and his 16 year old brother said no!
I made a deal with my 9 year old that if I download the app he can use it with me. He then said “ok well when are you downloading the app?” In which I replied “never!”. He wasn’t amused but I was. lol.
Cliche as it is, communication - clear, honest, and loving - is what makes and keeps marriages strong. Husband and wife sharing their emotions, needs, and desires with each other (yes, men, talking about your emotions does have a place!) and listening to each other makes it work. You can never expect anyone to know what you're thinking and feeling if you don't tell them. So ladies, none of this "He should just know" what I want, need, or feel. And guys, when your wife is complaining about a problem, listen and then ask if she wants it fixed right now or just to be heard. She may know what she needs to do to fix the problem (perhaps in exactly the way you were going to suggest) but needs to express how she feels about it, to be seen, understood, and cared for.
Communication! It's a cliche for a reason
Yess!! Not married yet, but from observing communication is a HUGE need!
This
"I feel like we've gotten in less fights"
If you are having "Fights" plural every week you have deeper problems in your relationship than are going to be resolved by forced compliments. My wife and I will be married 24 years in a couple weeks. I can count the number of fights we have in 5 years on average on one hand.
She might be talking about heated disagreements rather than full-blown yelling matches. I wouldn't shy away from calling a 2 minute argument about how the dishes are supposed to be washed a fight; something really big would be an altercation or something.
I show my love everyday for my husband by cooking his meals, cleaning our house (he does half the house clean) and the laundry etc. it’s the little boring things that need to be done everyday that help show your love.
Matt Walsh is out here saving lives one video at a time💯
I think what age you should get married at depends on so many factors. I know people who got married young who are happy, and people who married young who are miserable - same with people who married “older”. I know a lot of people in their 20s who are not mature or responsible enough to be married, and I know people who are personally ready to be married but can’t find a partner who’s a good fit, or who is mature and responsible. I think if you’re ready and you have the right person when you’re young, fantastic!! That’s great, and probably the ideal situation. But I think there should be less emphasis on what age is the perfect age and more on working on any personal flaws that are going to be obstacles to marriage to make sure that you’re ready whenever God brings your spouse into your life.
🎯👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
As a single, childless woman in my late twenties, if I had had the option, I would have married younger. I have had relationship issues and also don't get approached by men very often, which is why I'm still single. I definitely support people marrying under 25, although they should think through what they're doing. I think ideal age is 25 for men and maybe slightly younger than 25 for women. Although I wouldn't say anything like, "wait until you are older", I would more say to make sure you're really in love with each other and that the person is really right for you.
The 3rd one comes from the "Nurtured Heart Approach" It's a therapeutic theory used to help reduce unwanted behaviors in kids with behavioral problems/ mental health issues.
It's pretty funny that this lady wants to be treated like an adolescent with an oppositional defiant disorder.
Married 25 years. I was 26 while my wife was 23. Doing Well including two sons who are both Army Officers.
If I want the man to pick where we eat, when asked "where do you wanna go to eat?" Instead of saying "idk" I just say "you pick were we will eat and I will be happy with whatever you pick." Then he picks where we eat, I'm happy, he's happy.
I can tell matt was very happy and enjoyed his time filming this he actually smiled 😂
the smell of smoked meat makes every man happy (exept vegans)