How Has Jess Progressed with Daily Living Skills
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ค. 2021
- Lately, I've been getting questions (and advice) about Jessica's progression with household responsibilities and Daily Living Skills. Some have even suggested I need to hire a teacher to teach Jess these things. 🙄 I truly wonder if those kind people think that has never been attempted. The truth is that we have been working on teaching these things for a lifetime with only minimal progress.
#dailylivingskills #skillsforindependence #teachingdailylivingskills #autistic #blind
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Jess is 33-years-old, autistic, and blind. Her favorite topics of conversation include getting a new dog, her friend Keely, her Aunt Sue, and cousin Donna. Jess collects CD’s of children’s music, cards, coloring books, and has a small collection of used up disposable cameras that she refuses to get developed. Favorite health foods include chicken and rice, chicken tenders, chicken nuggets, chicken biscuits, pepperoni pizza, and hash brown potatoes. Jess has naturally curly hair that she would rather not ever comb, brush, or cut.
Jessica’s multiple disabilities stem from brain damage that occurred in-utero, and from hydrocephalus. In addition to autism and blindness, Jess also has minor fine motor and gross motor deficits. Hannah is Jessica's sister, and Marlow is Jessica's paid support staff (and Hannah's best friend.)
It’s like raising a 7th grader forever. Scream. Mad respect.
Darling Val, why are u explaining anything? U r her mother, u know whats best for her, your doing a great job, Stop allowing people to steal your joy, you do a great job with Jess, delete and block those who have nothing to say that's nice,they are only bullies. Stay 😊happy an know we love you an that your amazing.💝
I 100% agree Val knows best and owes nobody any explanation. But I do very much appreciate her taking the time to explain and my hope is it helps others who are feeling judged. 💕
She is doing this to help others with same situation. It’s nice to know you’re not alone. That’s why she’s doing it.🥰
Absolutely !
What a great video! You always explain things so well. I have to admit I was one who wondered why she doesn't get told no or why she can't share toys. This video makes me understand how wrong it is for me to question things like that. I'm so sorry if I ever commented anything regarding this. ( I don't think I have thank goodness) You and your family do an amazing job with her. I enjoy the videos so much. Thank you for sharing.
Wendy, I appreciate your support. 💕 I am explaining to help others who are in similar situations. Many don’t have the words to explain it to others. I’m also explaining to help educate outsiders on why their judgements are misplaced.
It’s so easy for people, behind a keyboard, to cast judgment on things they know nothing about. You show small pieces of your days and some people probably forget or lose sight of that you don’t show a whole day and the daily challenges, emotions, and work that goes into teaching an adult with the various needs that she has.
You are doing an excellent job. She is loved, and does what she can.
I think it most often from a place of concern and misunderstanding. If you don't have people in your circle with disabilities, you may not understand all of the complexities or how it's not a one-size-fits-all approach
Does Jess ever get punished for being mean and acting out towards care givers.
As in does she get reprimanded for doing as such
Yes ♥️
@@Dana-xu9lu It’s good to distinguish between punish and natural consequences ( ie: don’t put on shoes, don’t get to leave the house. Or hit therapist, they do not return). Punishment is for criminals or situations of the like.
If people will watch the video of ALL Jessica's disabilities, they would see that does SO MUCH every single day that would bring me to my knees if I had all the struggles and physical limitations that she has to deal with. And YOU my friend, are an AMAZING woman, mother and caregiver and even though I don't have a personal connection to Autism with a friend or family member, finding your page has helped me in not only recognizing Autism in my community but has also helped lead me in how to respond or offer help in situations where previously I would have ignorantly rolled my eyes and went about my day without thought of what someone else may be going thru. THANK YOU !!!
I have a 36 ye old daughter with CP, depression, sensory issues and a history of aggressive verbal and physical acting out. She too can be sweet, funny and charismatic. I was a single mom and our story is very similar to yours. I relate to te fact that people perceive her to be spoiled and not as independent as she could be.
She lives in a group home within 4 blocks from me and has blossomed there with structure and consistency. I was so burned out and it was affecting my parenting. You are an awesome mother and mentor. At the end of the day, I accept that I have done my very best, as have you. The relationship that you have with your parents, bad daddy and Hannah is so lovely! Hang in there. I watch every video and love them as do so many others!
Thank you! ❤️
It’s obvious how intelligent and thoughtful you are; your clear and thorough explanations of the concrete and the abstract… the easy to understand and the difficult. I just want to say how much I enjoy listening to your thoughts. Thank you very much for the gift of your time and energy!
I'm glad you have support, I was a caregiver for a young man who was autistic, and it was a never ending job to get him through the day. Sometimes I'd feel like him and I accomplished something. Other days not so much. I admire you and your other children for loving Jess , and giving her a life she needs to succeed.
In my opinion, I think you are doing a wonderful job as a mother. It takes a very special person to raise a child with any disability, and you were one of the very lucky few to be chosen for the job.❤
My daughter Mary is 8 and when I watch Jessica I have often wondered " What has it taken to get to where she is?". Thank you for sharing, I am in the middle of the endless therapies that go well until they don't. It is so important and so helpful to know that when things stop working it is not a failure. And that being overwhelmed isn't a weakness, but something we all deal with . Work, and household, and our typical children balanced with all the extra needs of our autistic children its a lot.
Thank you so much for your response. Responses like this encourage to me to keep sharing our story.
It has been so helpful. Thank you.
Yes, on the videos it looks so easy ❤️ you're doing great mom
It's so helpful to know your not alone, this life isn't for everyone and we work so hard and hear so much about what we should be doing from people who aren't in our homes every day.
I have to tell you that I recently was at my Cancer Center for my bi-annual follow up, and a woman who I suspect was on the spectrum in some way, sat down next to me with her aunt I think. She said hi to me and me being the very personable person that I am, said hi back. She complimented me on something I had on, and so I complimented her on her shirt. From that point on, we went into a wonderful conversation that was so fun for everyone in the room, per the feedback I got after she was called into her appointment, and when her caregiver got up with her to walk her in, she looked back to me and mouthed "Thank you." It was such a simple thing to talk to her and no different to me at least than talking to any other stranger that I tend to make conversation with. But I thought of Jessica the whole time we were conversing because this woman was just SO happy to tell me about her day and all kinds of things, and I basically just repeat back the same questions to her that she had asked me. It made for such a memorable moment for me, and I would bet other. One woman asked me if I was a teacher after she left which I thought was odd. I am just a human with a huge compassionate heart and Jess has taught me a thing or two!
Sweetie you know your kids and what they need. Do not listen to negative people..your doing a great job your whole family are great with her
I am just in tears! I feel like you are speaking something that I’ve written. Our daughter is 29, has sotos syndrome which involves gross and fine motor skills, learning delays and overall delays, and I literally could have written what you just said. I had a friend say to me, “why don’t you just teach her how to wash her hair?” Wow, there’s a thought, I should just teach her!!! Yeah, like I haven’t been doing that for 20+ years?!?! This really spoke to me and I appreciate your honesty and real life view of what our lives are like with adults with disabilities. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Marissa just got on the DD waiver so now we’ll be paid to care for her at home starting tomorrow so it’s a whole new journey but I’m hopeful it might bring some help for us as well!!!! 🥰🥰🥰
“Why don’t you just…” I don’t know how many times I’ve used that as an example of people who haven’t a clue giving advice. I’ve also had a close friend start questions like that multiple times. When that happens, I usually offer for that person to take over the training. 😊
Thank you for sharing. It helps me to know others out there completely get it.
@@AutisticInterpretations Oh, I get it!! I wish we lived closer together, I would love to go to coffee with you sometime!!! What a mom session that would be! Haha!!
Thanks again for teaching & sharing.
I am a DSW (developmental services worker) who works with people with disabilities. I love watching your videos. I learn a lot from watching your videos. You are doing amazing. It is never easy teaching basic life skills. It is unfortunate that people openly judge without realizing that you don't post everything that goes on in your life. We just do the best that we can do with what we can at the time.
Thank you, Robyn.
Just so much admiration, hugs & love Val! Your 'team' is spectacular & doing all that's possible to give Jess the best life possible! She's a beautiful unique child of God! Love you all & keep 'ya in my prayers 💕🙏💕
💕 Thank you!
You explain everything so great…so eye opening. Thank you. You’re a huge blessing. God bless you and your family.
Thank you for being so open and sharing. I hope you feel a lot of support from this community, we love your family!
I pray your channel will grow. You have so much to offer other families! Plus you feel like family after watching you all for over a year now. I can’t look at playing cards anymore in the store or online without checking to see if they’re plastic and if they’re waterproof. Lol we are a family with the caregiver and it is not easy I can relate to a lot of what you said in this video. Most of them with tears in my eyes because it’s emotional to talk about. It’s hard for someone to understand unless if you live this life day in and day out! You’re doing a great job Val and just know that other mothers are behind you giving you support whether you know it or not. ♥️
Thank you for sharing ! I am ahmazed how you seem so 'together' .. God Bless !
Val you do an amazing job at taking care of Jess! I don’t know anyone else that can do just as you do as good as you! The thing is you know your child you know the needs Jess needs you know what she can and can not do. Some people just may never experience the struggles you go through daily! You teach me daily on watching you guys vloggs that I hope one day I will be able to use what you have taught me just by watching these ! Jess has a wonderful family and caregiver but I still can see it’s can be struggling at times just because I used to help take care of my granny! That was the first I ever had to really take care of a loved one and miss this so much but one day I hope I can have children and or adopt! I would love to be the best mom I could just like you do everyday ! You are an inspiration to me ! Jess is such an amazing I feel like I already know her and you guys without even meeting you all! Y’all are amazing yes I know you go through struggles which I don’t know why people think y’all don’t they I guess never been in these shoes and they trying to talk it and not walk it! Maybe one day Jess will become independent in someway like her shower but if not the thing I love about you Val you already know and accept it and the patience you have is amazing but also I know it can grow thin! BUT YOU NEVER GIVE UP AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE THAT! So many people in this world today are having to suffer because someone has gave up on them and they can’t turn no where! It is sad to see that in the world ! Jess is amazing person just as she is even though she has disabilities! Some people with disabilities in this world are scared of the world because of what people may think of them! Jess shows me no fear in that what so ever and I think that’s unique ! Y’all are like family to me already ! Glad I got to see this video this morning as I woke up!
I appreciate you sharing your view on this. You have done a great job explaining to the viewers. I am a Coordinator with my local county and assist individuals with disabilities and their staff. I totally get what you are saying. And it’s so very important to keep staff that can be trusted and keep a safe relationship with everyone involved. You’re doing a great job mama.
Yes, my family and a lot of others try to give me advice on how to parent my child. My daughter almost 7. She has ASD, ADHD and ODD. I know that as time goes on, the comments from outsiders will get worse, about her and me. And my response to all the job comments, I just say Honey, this IS my job.
It’s so easy for folks to feel like they could do better or tell you how things should be done. I don’t understand why ppl feel so at ease with making these comments and suggestions to someone who lives it and has more than likely tried everything and is doing what works for them.
Keep sticking up for yourself and your way of getting through life the way that best suits your family. 🌻
Edit: typos
Me either. It’s bizarre how people casually give advice about other families. Especially complex families.
Very much appreciate this video Val. You are doing a fantastic job!! I like how you bring it down to reality here. I feel encouraged by you.
Thank you so much Val.🥰🥰
Val, just watching you I think you’re amazing Mom. I can tell that some days you’re very tired . You do awesome job and I pray for you and your family everyday. You juggle a house hold and take care of Jess and you spread yourself so thin and I’m so sorry. Jess is amazing and beautiful young lady and you are too. Love and prayers
I see her as an incredible human.
You’re an amazing person. God bless you.
Another great video Val. Thank you. That's right where we are with independent living skills x
Thank you for sharing this difficult topic. You did a great job of explaining how it is.
Your strength and patience is absolutely mind blowing. You are an amazing mother and caregiver. My prayers are with you, Jess Hannah, Marlow, Bad Daddy, Nonnie and Granddad. Don’t forget to take time for yourself. God bless you!
Totally get this!! Thank you for articulating this so well. Empathy is appreciated when our reality is so different than others.
Unimaginably difficult situation. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you! You can say what I think with such ease. Love your channel & family. 💙
You are very kind to share your honest thoughts and experiences , thank you x
I worked in an elementary school with multiple disability students for many years. I totally understand what challenges you go through with Jess. I was injured at school and couldn’t return but I miss it so much. I think you are amazing with Jess and it brings me great joy to part of your journey. Thank you for sharing.❤️
I am in awe of how you mother, all that you have done! You are amazing.
I love your family - you provide so much enjoyment!
Thank you for adding these kind of videos answering questions and explaining things about Jessica. Your a wonderful mother to them all so nice to share yalls lives with these videos 🙂
Val I can only imagine the extra time and energy it takes to care for someone with special needs. You and your family do a terrific job and I know you are also human with human emotions and frustrations etc. I know the time and energy it takes to raise a child without a disability and some of those days can be trying maybe even wanting to run away on occasion. Lol! It’s ok we are human. I’m so glad you were able to get away for a few days. It’s so important to care for oneself and sometimes we can forget. Thank you for giving insight. You really do inspire me. You are a wonderful person with a wonderful family.
Thanks, Val for being so open and honest about life with Jess. I've learned so much from watching you and your family, Marlow. It's important for people to know that love and care are different in every household.
Thank you for the gentle, but urgent, reminder to “please re-think that.” I like that phrasing and I think I can use it/ meditate on it. You’re right, parenting/caregiving in family systems with disabilities really is SO hard. Finding “solutions” or deciding on steps for making progress is complex. It hurts when others try and make it seem like it is straightforward or that it only requires more effort. Thank you for the honest storytelling you are doing! It is so useful to me (and I hope/try to share it with my loved ones).
I love how genuine you are.❤ People often forget they are only getting a tiny glimpse of our life and it's not always easy being raw for complete strangers to judge blindly. I love this channel not just because of Jess but for you as well. You give the best honest Mom vibes and that is hard to find these days. One of TH-cam's best moms for sure.❤❤❤
I wish I could like this more. Your family appreciates you and the time you are putting in and that's all that matters.
I hope no one ever judges you! Your whole family including Marlow are all wonderful strong caring people. I have so much respect! Much love 💕
I'm relatively new to Jess and your family. I'd like to say that one of the first things I noticed while watching is how patient you (and everyone) are with Jess. I know how I've been while raising my neuro-typical children. If I just do it for them it's faster and easier. That's been a struggle for me! I think you're all doing a wonderful job! Thanks for sharing!
You are amazing, Val! I think people do not ever consider what it’s like to “walk in someone else’s shoes.” Keep doing what’s best for you, Jess and your family. ♥️
Val what I see in the vlogs you are doing a great job! Jessica is blessed to have you as a mom. You teach, help, instruct, love and have fun with Jess every day! Just know that you are doing the best you can do! I personally love your vlogs!
Thank you xx
I am the mom and caretaker of my beautiful special needs daughter too. You bring validation to this mommas heart and mind. It's not easy, most people don't understand, but we do our best. Thank you for sharing your lives with us. 💖
I mirror your sentiment, yes my lil person is spoiled (I like to say well cared for) but I wouldn't have it any other way.
I have eight kids. Your love and patience inspires me.
I love how you as a family love Jessica. I commend you on your persistence in working with her in daily living tasks. They may seem simple to teach to many, but none of us know anything about Jessica the way you do. There are so many different things you have to deal with, and from what I’ve been privileged to witness through your videos, one of the biggest feats is working around Jess’s willingness. That in itself is huge. None of us can attest to understand what you go through, nor should anyone judge you for anything. You are doing the best you can, and I might add that I think y’all are doing a phenomenal job in not only taking care of her, but patiently teaching her independent living skills. It’s apparent that she may or may not grasp these skills fully, but I celebrate with you every little success along the way! You’re doing a wonderful job and never forget that! ❤️
You are a amazing mother! Don’t ever let anyone question your ability or how you may do things! You know what is best and always have your family as number 1!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for this video! I have a sister who is a quadriplegic from a spinal cord injury. I have had many people comment that she should do more for herself and that she is spoiled. Yes, yes she is! And the fact that she is kind, happy and is able to face the day after a devastating accident at 16 is why we cut her so much slack! I completely get what you are saying. My mother also was a single mother and needed to work full time when my sister was injured. Caregivers were/ are hard to find and at times unreliable. Daily living doesn’t always leave time for rehab/OT/PT at home. The honesty and frankness in this video is wonderful. Rick on!
So true...it is not easy to explain. Man, the things you share with me really resonate.
How sweet of u yo do this video. It had to be hard to do.,(emotional,).I love Jess and your family. My prayers are with you.
You show me so many different positive things while watching your videos. It would take to long mama. You keep spoiling that precious gift from God. 🥰😍😀
Very very good episode of explanation. I loved it!
Hi, from what I have seen on your videos. Which I enjoy very much to see Jessica do so much by herself with your guidance or someone else's. You and you family and Marlo are doing such a great job with Jessica. Look forward to your next videos , especially PO day
I recently found your videos and I want you to know how much your videos have helped me to feel understood and supported. My son is autistic, with cortical visual impairment, and intellectual disability. You’re such a beautiful soul, you and your children. When I watch Jess I see so much of my son. Seeing how your other children interact with Jess is so beautiful. When I hear you speak it’s like someone is voicing everything I go through and everything I feel for my child/children. Thank you so much for everything that you do. Many blessings to you and your family.
I have so much respect and admiration for you. The love, patience and care you show Jessica is amazing. I love Jess, but you inspire me to be a more understanding and compassionate human being. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us in a truly authentic and honest way. *C*
Thank you. You’re an amazing parent/mother/homemaker/woman. Love you and your channel. Xxx
You’re a genuine true loving mama to Jess. You are doing the absolute best that you can. You’ve raised her to be a beautiful person whom everyone adores. Spoil the heck outta her! People just don’t know what it’s like to be in your shoes. You shouldn’t have to explain. But you did a great job explaining on this video. You’ve got a beautiful family and we love watching ya’ll! ❤️
AMEN! ❤
Thank you for a thoughtful explanation of so many aspects of your loving and challenging life. We all need to learn from each other. ❤
Bravo, Mama....for all the things! We see you. We hear you. We luv u! 🤗
Well I can only ditto what everyone else has said. You are an absolutely amazing and awesome Mama. ❤️❤️ Jess is definitely blessed to have you.
Thank you for this! Its so easy for people to judge. Your doing the best you can.
Val. I think you are just an amazing person. I have been trying to watch all of your videos. Because I love Jess and you sweet family. You are really an inspiration to all. God Bless You All 💜
I applaud you for the wonderful job that you are doing with Jessica! You have so much patience ( probably not always) and I know that must be difficult. You are a great mom! Please don’t worry about any negative comments, bc they will never know until they walk in your shoes!❤️
Beautifully said!!! Thank you!
You are amazing Val. God bless you and your crew/family
It is so hard Val, physical and verbal aggression is not ok…I feel your pain, it scares me.
And your videos make my day after a long and hard day so I’m sure I’m not the only one that looks forward to them❤️❤️bless
You are all Warriors, in your own right💗💗💗
Honestly I just started watching u not long ago and I had no idea Jess was your daughter. I swore u were sisters!!! You look amazing and so young. You inspire me as I look to adopt a little one who is autistic and non verbal. He is 7 and I hope things work out and we get to meet him soon. Keep up the great work and I will be watching a lot of videos to get some pointers for sure.
You are awesome a very special lady God bless you
I appreciate you sharing your lives with your viewers. And for taking time to explain what parenting a special needs child entails.
Thank you for sharing ❤
I am so in awe of you. Raising children, working, getting housework done, etc was difficult for me
and is for many mothers. You are a great mom! We all get frustrated and tired and like you said, “The day ends and you start over the next day.” You more than deserved a vacation😊❤️
You, your family and Marlow are amazing. Jess is so loved and gives so much love❤
Your an amazing lady and your a wonderful mum to all your girls, she is the lovely young girl she is because of your guidance and the support circle your family have built around Jess, I think your all amazing I really do. From one mummy of an autistic daughter to another I send you all the love and happiness in the world xxxxxxxxxxxxx
You are such a great mama m. I’ve been a home support worker for 13 years. I haven’t been able to work the last 4 years do to bad him and need a hip replacement. I loved my job. It isn’t easy, but my heart was very much into it!
Yes I'm still listening 😊..... no comments or judgment, just wanting to send some love and hugs to YOU today. 🥰
I think you are doing a fantastic job!
You amaze me Val!! God bless all of you!
You just seem like an awesome human! Single mom that works too hard. Who loves her kids and never stops. With gentle hands and the heart of a fighter.. you’re a survivor! 💞
You are such a gift to Jessica, she is so very lucky to have you for a Mom🥰🥰🥰🥰🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Val, this is probably my most favorite video you’ve done to date!!! I love love love the real and honest info, the perspective you help see when I otherwise wouldn’t have seen it that way, I love your devotion to Jess and her overall well being and care, and I love that you seem so sure and confident in your stance, as you well should be! Nobody knows Jess or your household and family like you do and they never will. Who are we to tell you what is a contribution to your family and household? Everybody brings something to the table and it’s not for anybody else to say what’s right or wrong. You know what works for you and yours and you are doing it and then some!
Thank you, Stephanie! ❤️
It’s always complicated! You’re an inspiration to many, Val!
Yall,are awesome
Ramble on Val! Educate us. You’re a HERO FOR SURE♥️
Thank you. I’ve always thought you do an amazing job with Jess. It’s complicated I know. Take care of yourself. Xx
Just from what I watch and listening to you as a person I think your wonderful and do a wonderful job 🇨🇦❤️
Oh Val you are such a great Mother please always know this! You have created three Amazing Children that have all grown into Amazing Adults! We all Love ❤️ You guys so much! I could go on and on!
Val your are such a wondeful Momma 😊And have raised sunshine Jess in such a amazing way!! You have so much strenght and positivity its inspiring. You are one strong Momma. Keep being AMAZING Val sending you much love ❤
You're a good one, loving your daughter the way she needs to be loved. It's not for any of us here to tell you HOW to do that. We may have questions, we may offer well intended suggestions, but we are not the ones who share daily life with Jess. Thanks for letting us in and for letting us learn. I hope the insights you give will help us be better people.
You and your family are the very best. Please don’t let anyone who’s never walked a second in your shoes make you feel less than. You’re wonderful and important
My nephew has spina bifida and is also autistic. Multiple diagnosis complicate things in a way other people don’t understand. Thank you for sharing your experiences!
Val you and your team are. Awesome!!! Just stay on the course that has been working for your family!!
Great Education Val...you are amazing..I appreciate you.🥰
Thank you!
Marlow is wonderful with Jess. Best way to learn is to make it fun, Marlow does that! And yes mam, you need a break to take care of your mental and physical well being!!! Don’t let outsider’s perception get to you! You are all doing a great job with Jess! You don’t owe anybody an explanation!!! Keep it up, Team Jess!!!❤️