We adopted in 2012. Because of our son's early trama, he developed severe RAD (reactive attachment disorder). We were in the trenches for years. It was such a pain to have no support from our church during that diffucult time. At some point, I literally begged for a support group, or something. And the church that advertised adoptions every November did absolutely nothing. I am so glad to hear someone cares and works on this. Support is everything. p.s. Our adopted son is doing much better now, glory to God.
Yes, it can be so sad and isolating when people do not think to befriend or help a child or their family when they are dealing with tragic or exceedingly difficult circumstances. I wish people were less shy about this, some children and adults have severe challenges interacting successfully and more than ever need smiles and kind comments and patience, even if people just do this it can make an incredible difference in a loneky, isolated child (or adult)'s life! Stepping in to actually socialize or offer to help is an amazing gift to overwhelmed families, and gets easier the more you do it, It also may surprise you with what you receive in return in your spirit when you do what so few others are comfortable or willing to do for others. I hope more churches heed this need to reach out and assist those like your family who need loving support. It is our calling. I am glad Dawn and her guests are talking about the needs of the children in our midst!
Its not for everyone. But the system needs Godly families and good people to do it. I was 6 (the youngest) when my parents started fostering. I was unfortunately pushed to the background, as a naturally quiet child. I didnt get the attention i needed, and one on one time with my parents didnt exist. I have no memories of my mother spending one on one time with me or anything even close during childhood. She was juggling 3-5 fosters at any given week. I heard alot, seen alot, and sadly never got my own room until highschool because i was always sharing with a foster. And it was a constant rotation of different kids coming thru with various issues. Please remember to keep things in balance if you do this and dont take on more kids then you can properly manage. Dont forget us quiet ones, who, although we dont ask for much or make a stink, we really do need the attention and love from our parents, even if we dont speak it or make a fuss.
@@SweetnSassyMamaOf2 Yes, this sadly true and was our experience as well. My comment is above as we adopted 2 children out of the foster system 22 years ago. I had no idea how much time is involved and as a Mother regret now the opportunities to really know and help one of my birth sons who was quiet and always cooperative. He has done well but we all have come out scarred and weary. It was tough but then again we have been profoundly changed and observe other struggling families with compassion, not wanting them to feel our judgement. So if you’re going into this with positivity I will warn you that you will need much more than that. Make sure your relationship with your spouse is solid as you will need it to be.
@debraseiler4148 I am doing great also but due to the emotional neglect of my parents, have struggled in certain areas relationally. But I am self aware enough to be able to work thru it as an adult. I just always remember yearning for alone time with my mother, and sadly that never happened.
@@SweetnSassyMamaOf2 I am so sorry for your pain and pray that God uses your pain to relate to and comfort others. I think that your experience may also be relatable to other children who were in exceptionally large families. It is interesting to me that often those grown children need to work through those experiences and are especially careful not to choose their parent’s path. We are all prone to do things, even good things, out of pride or self fulfillment. I am thankful for God’s forgiveness and also my children’s forgiveness.
What you are doing with coordinating communication between groups that work with the same issue is so important and a missing piece in tackling several of our social issues, such as homelessness. I love that you are bringing these groups together on behalf of children!
Oh man! Love this! Former Foster parent here and adoptive momma here❤. Everyone should watch Sound of Hope : The story of Possum Trot. They followed the Holy Spirit and their church adopted 77 children in 1 church!
I work for a non-profit that is trying to unite families and make them stronger before foster care is even needed. One part of our non-profit is family reunification to make sure things are going well.
our church (in Canada) is in the process of trying to set up an intentional community that is connected to our church building. It will be like an apartment complex for special needs people who have aged out of foster care and need a bit of support. Please pray that we can make this happen! It's been slowly in the process for a few years, but it feels a bit stuck right now and we need a few more people in place to get the ball rolling again. In other news, our foster son just got baptized! His mom said that she is planning on taking the kids to church with us when they start spending the weekend at her house later this month! People looked at us like we were crazy when we first started fostering, but foster kids are still just kids. If you're a teacher, some of your students are probably foster kids and nobody seems to freak out about that...
33:28 that idea is what got me past my fear, knowing I am able handle the pain that the children shouldn’t be having to live with. I can’t selfishly try to prevent my own pain. ❤
Oh Dawn!!! This is a “God Thing” video!!! A couple from our church is in the process of trying to do several programs with foster care. (I don’t know the whole plan but God does!!) This video was SO encouraging!! When my kids were younger we did foster care (5th grade & up). One girl just became part of our family! Long story, but her grandkids went into the system. All three of my girls each took her three kids into their homes as fosters. Although they have returned to bio mom we still keep in touch. So, YES, foster if you can, but support if nothing else!!! ❤
I used to foster teenagers. It was challenging at times, but we enjoyed it. I had children at the time, but they weren’t deeply affected by the foster kids. My kids got along well with the foster kids and thought of them most as older siblings. My children did not pick up the bad habits of the older kids, as many people tried to warn me that they would. My kids got plenty of attention. They never felt ignored or jealous of the foster kids.
I'm involved in a Missions Roundtable group at my church, and we all work with respective ministries reaching the most marginalized and "messy" which keeps many from wanting to get involved. We're seeking to spread awareness within our church community, but getting past preconceived prejudices towards certain people groups is a challenge. We want to show that being the physical hands and feet of Jesus in action is truly living the Gospel message, itself.
Growing up, we had some neighbors who fostered. I'm still friends with some of those kids. We were exposed to both the good and bad sides as these kids moved in and out of their home. Fostering can be and is hard, but can be really rewarding. Our current neighborhood has several families that foster. One family even ended up adopting 1 of the kids who was about to age out of the program and have given her ongoing stability. Our daughter has remained friends with her, and so we are still seeing the good that came into that girls life. She is currently in college to become a social worker. I have a friend in a wheel chair who fosters and has adopted 4 kids over the years. ANYONE (after passing background, etc.) can foster.
What a wonderful, powerful episode. These two are really angels on earth and the love that motivates them is like a beacon. Thank you for including the link in the program notes, I want to go there next and read more about what they are doing and what help they need to keep doing it. I grew up in a loving family and received love all of my life, and to recognize that being able to create a safe place to impart that love, for however long, in whatever way, could be soul-changing.
As a foster parent and adoptive parent, this is the best information I have heard. I am not religious and we fostered through the county welfare system, but you are supporting the families that join the quest, and teach about the good. Such a wonderful philosophy! I was adopted and I found my birth mom. It was a TOTAL success story. She was educated, she had other kids, we had a wonderful relationship and she took all of my kids on vacations to exotic places and we loved one another. When people hear that I met my birthparent, they assume it was disastrous due to TV stories of negativity, and only highlighting the bad. People can't believe we had a wonderful relationship.
I love this Dawn!🎉 When I was very young, my Mom and Dad Fostered 3 siblings. They fit our family perfectly! My oldest brother and I have red hair...one of the boys had red hair. My middle brother had brown hair, and so did my Mom... the other boy and their sister had brown hair too. It was as if they were made for us. We loved them so much and wanted them to be our family. They stayed with us for about a year and my parents decided to adopt them and make it official. At that point they had an uncle that came out of the woodwork and took them to live with him. We were all heart broken and missed them so very much. I often think of them and pray they are well. ❤🙏
I have a good friend in New England who works for Fostering Hope (Mike Brown) and his wife runs Foster Box. Both organizations support families in foster care. Fostering Hope connects churches to foster care, similar to Backyard Orphans. And then Foster Box supports with clothes and equipment for a range of kids in foster care to support families helping out.
Yes! Not all of us are called to foster or adopt. Some of us are called to support those who do foster/adopt. (We've supported Fostering Hope for years.)
My husband and I did foster care for about 20 years. I have many regrets. The biggest one was our children as adults wish we hadn’t done it. All the newborns we did they all enjoyed. The children 5 and up had such big issues it exposed my kids to small children mimic what was done to them.
I'm an adoptive mom and this was a great discussion! After having two bio kids and then having a miscarriage, we were led to adopt a baby girl from Guatemala (at the time I was 45 years old!). That little girl will be turning 23 next week! It's been the hardest and best thing in my life! We are very fortunate to be involved in a church with many adoptive and foster families, including our pastor--he and his wife have 3 grown children, and just recently became foster parents to two young children.
This is such a tricky topic, and I have seen both sides of it first-hand. My grandparents fostered for many years - while their children were young right through to old age. Two of their children really resent it and feel that their parents weren't able to be there for them or their children (the grandchildren). My own parents adopted my youngest sister, and it was a really difficult process. There was a lot of trauma that they never anticipated, and it really changed the whole family in an unexpected way. All of those fostered and adopted children are loved by God, and all of the children in the families who are fostering/adopting are loved by God. But I'm not sure that families should be fostering or adopting in the way that is happening right now. Fascinating discussion, thanks for sharing Dawn.
I have a friend who fostered then adopted separately two girls and I remember ALL the drama at the beginning. The drama actually drove me nuts and I was just listening to it, I can't imagine how she and her family managed all the stress. I am all for fostering, adoption, etc but it is not going to be for everyone and guilting people into it isn't a good idea. Great comment. Thank you! ❤
Dawn, great episode but I’m surprised no one has mentioned the movie “Sound of Hope: The Story of Possum Trot” that was in theaters recently. Excellent true story about a small community that came together to solve the foster crisis in their sphere. It is a beautiful story with a positive Christian message. Perhaps you could tell your audience about it! It was released by Angel Studios and is available to stream on their website to members.
Hi Jennifer! I own the Victoria book as well! (Which probably doesn't shock you, haha!! )I hope your stress decreases soon! You need a "MOMENT"!!! Have a wonderful weekend and thank you for posting on Monday! You are so thoughtful! Sending you a huge, healing hug!! With love, Kellie
Amazing timing as we literally JUST had our two initial calls before training yesterday and today❤❤ I know there is lots to consider about fostering with bio kids in the home as well. There are often comments by people who wish their parents hadn’t fostered when they themselves were little and I’m wondering by if anyone had a good experiences foster siblings in the home growing up? Thanks ❤
This was so good, Dawn. I’d love to see you being more topics like this to your podcasts. 😊 Also, for anyone who is interested there are a few really good movies that came to mind as I was watching this that relate to the topics discussed: 1. Courageous 2. Like Arrows 3. Sound of Hope
I totally get what is being discussed but I disagree that the church has been absent on the orphan/foster care issue. Yes, awareness needs to be raised but God’s people do hear his voice if they are called to do something and God also provides. True religion reaches out to orphans and widows. We adopted 2 siblings of special needs out of the system 22 years ago. We had 3 birth-children already. It was life changing. Definitely not easy though.
Hey friends, how do you know if it’s “gods voice” telling you the plan he has for you, or just a wild idea your own consciousness or subconscious came up with? (Actually asking as I’m trying desperately to learn)
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We adopted in 2012. Because of our son's early trama, he developed severe RAD (reactive attachment disorder). We were in the trenches for years. It was such a pain to have no support from our church during that diffucult time. At some point, I literally begged for a support group, or something. And the church that advertised adoptions every November did absolutely nothing. I am so glad to hear someone cares and works on this. Support is everything. p.s. Our adopted son is doing much better now, glory to God.
I’m so sorry there wasn’t oodles of support for you. Great job doing everything you have for your son ❤
Yes, it can be so sad and isolating when people do not think to befriend or help a child or their family when they are dealing with tragic or exceedingly difficult circumstances. I wish people were less shy about this, some children and adults have severe challenges interacting successfully and more than ever need smiles and kind comments and patience, even if people just do this it can make an incredible difference in a loneky, isolated child (or adult)'s life! Stepping in to actually socialize or offer to help is an amazing gift to overwhelmed families, and gets easier the more you do it, It also may surprise you with what you receive in return in your spirit when you do what so few others are comfortable or willing to do for others. I hope more churches heed this need to reach out and assist those like your family who need loving support. It is our calling. I am glad Dawn and her guests are talking about the needs of the children in our midst!
I adopted my two boys when they were 6 n 8 years old. Biological brothers
Going from 0 kids to 2 …..
That was 26 years ago
Best blessing ever!!!!!
Its not for everyone. But the system needs Godly families and good people to do it.
I was 6 (the youngest) when my parents started fostering.
I was unfortunately pushed to the background, as a naturally quiet child. I didnt get the attention i needed, and one on one time with my parents didnt exist. I have no memories of my mother spending one on one time with me or anything even close during childhood. She was juggling 3-5 fosters at any given week. I heard alot, seen alot, and sadly never got my own room until highschool because i was always sharing with a foster. And it was a constant rotation of different kids coming thru with various issues.
Please remember to keep things in balance if you do this and dont take on more kids then you can properly manage. Dont forget us quiet ones, who, although we dont ask for much or make a stink, we really do need the attention and love from our parents, even if we dont speak it or make a fuss.
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
@@SweetnSassyMamaOf2 Yes, this sadly true and was our experience as well. My comment is above as we adopted 2 children out of the foster system 22 years ago. I had no idea how much time is involved and as a Mother regret now the opportunities to really know and help one of my birth sons who was quiet and always cooperative. He has done well but we all have come out scarred and weary. It was tough but then again we have been profoundly changed and observe other struggling families with compassion, not wanting them to feel our judgement. So if you’re going into this with positivity I will warn you that you will need much more than that. Make sure your relationship with your spouse is solid as you will need it to be.
@debraseiler4148 I am doing great also but due to the emotional neglect of my parents, have struggled in certain areas relationally. But I am self aware enough to be able to work thru it as an adult. I just always remember yearning for alone time with my mother, and sadly that never happened.
@@SweetnSassyMamaOf2 I am so sorry for your pain and pray that God uses your pain to relate to and comfort others. I think that your experience may also be relatable to other children who were in exceptionally large families. It is interesting to me that often those grown children need to work through those experiences and are especially careful not to choose their parent’s path. We are all prone to do things, even good things, out of pride or self fulfillment. I am thankful for God’s forgiveness and also my children’s forgiveness.
Thank you for sharing this it’s helpful to know your perspective ❤❤ and I’m sorry you needed more of your mom than you got
What you are doing with coordinating communication between groups that work with the same issue is so important and a missing piece in tackling several of our social issues, such as homelessness. I love that you are bringing these groups together on behalf of children!
Oh man! Love this! Former Foster parent here and adoptive momma here❤. Everyone should watch Sound of Hope : The story of Possum Trot. They followed the Holy Spirit and their church adopted 77 children in 1 church!
I work for a non-profit that is trying to unite families and make them stronger before foster care is even needed. One part of our non-profit is family reunification to make sure things are going well.
our church (in Canada) is in the process of trying to set up an intentional community that is connected to our church building. It will be like an apartment complex for special needs people who have aged out of foster care and need a bit of support. Please pray that we can make this happen! It's been slowly in the process for a few years, but it feels a bit stuck right now and we need a few more people in place to get the ball rolling again.
In other news, our foster son just got baptized! His mom said that she is planning on taking the kids to church with us when they start spending the weekend at her house later this month!
People looked at us like we were crazy when we first started fostering, but foster kids are still just kids. If you're a teacher, some of your students are probably foster kids and nobody seems to freak out about that...
33:28 that idea is what got me past my fear, knowing I am able handle the pain that the children shouldn’t be having to live with. I can’t selfishly try to prevent my own pain. ❤
Oh Dawn!!! This is a “God Thing” video!!! A couple from our church is in the process of trying to do several programs with foster care. (I don’t know the whole plan but God does!!) This video was SO encouraging!!
When my kids were younger we did foster care (5th grade & up). One girl just became part of our family! Long story, but her grandkids went into the system. All three of my girls each took her three kids into their homes as fosters. Although they have returned to bio mom we still keep in touch.
So, YES, foster if you can, but support if nothing else!!! ❤
I used to foster teenagers. It was challenging at times, but we enjoyed it. I had children at the time, but they weren’t deeply affected by the foster kids. My kids got along well with the foster kids and thought of them most as older siblings. My children did not pick up the bad habits of the older kids, as many people tried to warn me that they would. My kids got plenty of attention. They never felt ignored or jealous of the foster kids.
I'm involved in a Missions Roundtable group at my church, and we all work with respective ministries reaching the most marginalized and "messy" which keeps many from wanting to get involved. We're seeking to spread awareness within our church community, but getting past preconceived prejudices towards certain people groups is a challenge. We want to show that being the physical hands and feet of Jesus in action is truly living the Gospel message, itself.
I just love your compassion for others Dawn! I’m praying for you. 🩷🩵
Growing up, we had some neighbors who fostered. I'm still friends with some of those kids. We were exposed to both the good and bad sides as these kids moved in and out of their home. Fostering can be and is hard, but can be really rewarding. Our current neighborhood has several families that foster. One family even ended up adopting 1 of the kids who was about to age out of the program and have given her ongoing stability. Our daughter has remained friends with her, and so we are still seeing the good that came into that girls life. She is currently in college to become a social worker. I have a friend in a wheel chair who fosters and has adopted 4 kids over the years. ANYONE (after passing background, etc.) can foster.
I can see that Down has passion for this topic. She glows when talking about it.
And what a cool hair has this pastor!
What a wonderful, powerful episode. These two are really angels on earth and the love that motivates them is like a beacon. Thank you for including the link in the program notes, I want to go there next and read more about what they are doing and what help they need to keep doing it. I grew up in a loving family and received love all of my life, and to recognize that being able to create a safe place to impart that love, for however long, in whatever way, could be soul-changing.
As a foster parent and adoptive parent, this is the best information I have heard. I am not religious and we fostered through the county welfare system, but you are supporting the families that join the quest, and teach about the good. Such a wonderful philosophy! I was adopted and I found my birth mom. It was a TOTAL success story. She was educated, she had other kids, we had a wonderful relationship and she took all of my kids on vacations to exotic places and we loved one another. When people hear that I met my birthparent, they assume it was disastrous due to TV stories of negativity, and only highlighting the bad. People can't believe we had a wonderful relationship.
I love this Dawn!🎉
When I was very young, my Mom and Dad Fostered 3 siblings. They fit our family perfectly! My oldest brother and I have red hair...one of the boys had red hair. My middle brother had brown hair, and so did my Mom... the other boy and their sister had brown hair too. It was as if they were made for us. We loved them so much and wanted them to be our family. They stayed with us for about a year and my parents decided to adopt them and make it official. At that point they had an uncle that came out of the woodwork and took them to live with him. We were all heart broken and missed them so very much. I often think of them and pray they are well. ❤🙏
😢❤
I have a good friend in New England who works for Fostering Hope (Mike Brown) and his wife runs Foster Box. Both organizations support families in foster care. Fostering Hope connects churches to foster care, similar to Backyard Orphans. And then Foster Box supports with clothes and equipment for a range of kids in foster care to support families helping out.
Yes! Not all of us are called to foster or adopt. Some of us are called to support those who do foster/adopt. (We've supported Fostering Hope for years.)
My husband and I are planning on fostering after we buy a house, can't wait! So thankful for you sharing about this topic.
My husband and I did foster care for about 20 years. I have many regrets. The biggest one was our children as adults wish we hadn’t done it. All the newborns we did they all enjoyed. The children 5 and up had such big issues it exposed my kids to small children mimic what was done to them.
😢 it's so sad!
Thanks for sharing. We are in the process of getting licensed and appreciate the insight
I'm an adoptive mom and this was a great discussion! After having two bio kids and then having a miscarriage, we were led to adopt a baby girl from Guatemala (at the time I was 45 years old!). That little girl will be turning 23 next week! It's been the hardest and best thing in my life! We are very fortunate to be involved in a church with many adoptive and foster families, including our pastor--he and his wife have 3 grown children, and just recently became foster parents to two young children.
This is such a tricky topic, and I have seen both sides of it first-hand. My grandparents fostered for many years - while their children were young right through to old age. Two of their children really resent it and feel that their parents weren't able to be there for them or their children (the grandchildren).
My own parents adopted my youngest sister, and it was a really difficult process. There was a lot of trauma that they never anticipated, and it really changed the whole family in an unexpected way.
All of those fostered and adopted children are loved by God, and all of the children in the families who are fostering/adopting are loved by God. But I'm not sure that families should be fostering or adopting in the way that is happening right now.
Fascinating discussion, thanks for sharing Dawn.
I have a friend who fostered then adopted separately two girls and I remember ALL the drama at the beginning. The drama actually drove me nuts and I was just listening to it, I can't imagine how she and her family managed all the stress. I am all for fostering, adoption, etc but it is not going to be for everyone and guilting people into it isn't a good idea. Great comment. Thank you! ❤
I loved this. Thank you!
Dawn, great episode but I’m surprised no one has mentioned the movie “Sound of Hope: The Story of Possum Trot” that was in theaters recently. Excellent true story about a small community that came together to solve the foster crisis in their sphere. It is a beautiful story with a positive Christian message. Perhaps you could tell your audience about it! It was released by Angel Studios and is available to stream on their website to members.
Thanks, Dawn, for this interview. Such interesting information.
Thank you for sharing this ministry.
Hi Jennifer! I own the Victoria book as well! (Which probably doesn't shock you, haha!! )I hope your stress decreases soon! You need a "MOMENT"!!! Have a wonderful weekend and thank you for posting on Monday! You are so thoughtful! Sending you a huge, healing hug!! With love, Kellie
Amazing timing as we literally JUST had our two initial calls before training yesterday and today❤❤
I know there is lots to consider about fostering with bio kids in the home as well. There are often comments by people who wish their parents hadn’t fostered when they themselves were little and I’m wondering by if anyone had a good experiences foster siblings in the home growing up? Thanks ❤
This was so good, Dawn. I’d love to see you being more topics like this to your podcasts. 😊 Also, for anyone who is interested there are a few really good movies that came to mind as I was watching this that relate to the topics discussed:
1. Courageous
2. Like Arrows
3. Sound of Hope
Wonderful episode.
I’ve always wanted to foster but I worry having the state involved in my home, I will lose my right to my religious and conservative beliefs.
beautiful mission .... mahalo
I totally get what is being discussed but I disagree that the church has been absent on the orphan/foster care issue. Yes, awareness needs to be raised but God’s people do hear his voice if they are called to do something and God also provides. True religion reaches out to orphans and widows. We adopted 2 siblings of special needs out of the system 22 years ago. We had 3 birth-children already. It was life changing. Definitely not easy though.
❤❤❤
😊
Hey friends, how do you know if it’s “gods voice” telling you the plan he has for you, or just a wild idea your own consciousness or subconscious came up with? (Actually asking as I’m trying desperately to learn)
If only there wasn't such a stigma/rule against gay parents fostering and adopting in various states...