i once witnessed the same motorcycle get pulled over. twice. Was speeding like hell down the highway - gets pulled over, logically. Idiot decides he needs to make up for time lost being ticketed. speeds again. And again, we later pass him on the side of the road, receiving a second ticket.
back in the mid-90s i worked military base police dispatch. one of the patrolmen came in and said he'd been speeding about 80mph (felony) on the interstate and got pulled by a state trooper. "Do you know why i pulled you over?" "Yes. i was the only one going slow enough for you to catch." he got off with a warning.
Was on a trip once with my father when I was younger. We were passing through what was essentially a barren highway with a few small towns scattered about. We got pulled over by a cop in his 40s. All he wanted Was to ask about my dads dodge Durango and make small talk and then he let us go on our way. So I suppose he was just bored in the middle of nowhere snd wanted to talk to someone.
My friend George was once pulled over while street racing a random car on the freeway. When the cop stepped out of the car, george immediately started screaming “officer why would you pull me over!... that guy hit my car and ran” *while pointing to random scratches on his car. Cop immediately ran back to his car and left chasing the other car, leaving my friend alone.
Ditto on being polite to officers. That strategy saved my ass when I was pulled over for broken tail lights. Helps that I'm a nice and polite person irl by default.
""This is not the car your looking for!"" Oh My God! I laughed for a good five minutes at that! Oh I can't breath! Because while typing that, I was still chuckling!
Except you have to make sure they don't give it as a "bribe" but as a " freely given with no strings attached" that way they can't get you in trouble for taking a bribe cause it was freely given. Also make sure you have a copy of the audio should you need to show up in court to prove you did not take bribe money,cause,even though they were still fined or whatever,you might still get in trouble.
In one of Orson Scott Card's stories (not Ender's Game but a different story by him), the boss of a large corporation tells all of his low-level employees, "if anyone ever offers you a bribe to do something, accept it and do what they want, but always tell me." That way, he always knows what's going on and can interfere if he needs to. Being allowed to keep the bribe money is the reward for the employee's loyalty.
My brother was delivering medication to people for a local pharmacy. One day he was going 60 in a 45 over a hill and a cop passed him, he knew the cop got him cuz he saw the break lights and pulled over right away. The cop walked up to the window already laughing at how he pulled over so fast so my brother joked along. Then the cop asked where he was going and he gave a address and the cop asked what he was doing there and my brother said "well you see officer I'm a drug dealer I'm just doing my runs" and the cop was super confused and he pointed to the lock bin in the back with a pharmacy logo on it. Cop didn't even get his license just told him to slow down and walked back to his car
A sure fire way to get a ticket Cop: license and registration please. Me: my apologies officer I was making my way to your mother's house to give her a birth control smoothie.
My dad got my mom off a DUI. They had both drunk more than enough but he was propper wasted. When she rolled the window down he started yelling 'why do you think i let her drive? Im the one thats drunk, cmon' and so forth. The cop just gave my mom a nod and wished her good luck with him. As they drove away they laughed and got home safe
Cringe Time: The one about "we're all white here..." reminds me of how "you're a white man" used to be used as a compliment meaning an honest and generous person, as though only someone who was white could possibly have those attributes... ugh! As a white person, I feel an inward cringe when I read that expression in old story books now.
Not a cop but a driver whos unintentionally dodged 2 tickets. Went to go pick up mother from the hospital at 3 am. Was very tired. Apparently, I was swerving, but being exhausted, I was unable to tell at the time. I was pulled over in the hospital parking lot. I expressed my confusion when he asked if i had been drinking, and he looked at me and explained what he was following me for. My mother walks out in scrubs and hangs around waiting for the stop to finish. He lets me go while saying if i needed to sleep on the side of the road, feel free to do so. Second, I was absent mindedly going 20 over along the highway heading out of town on my way home just getting off work. He passes me along the highway and pulls off a movie perfect u turn and flips off the lights. "Crap, Im boned." I think. I dont resist, turned over in a gas station parking lot. He comes up to my window, and still in uniform. He asks "Do you know why I stopped you?" I think for a split second and just admit it. "Im sorry, i was speeding and didnt watch my speedometer. I just got off work and was excited to get home." He takes my id back to the car and just tells me to ease up. Fully expected to get a ticket both times and was pleasantly surprised.
I have a few things that if I swallow that food I will throw up within a minute or so. Motioned over, I had groceries on the seat including one of these foods. Rolled window down, open glove box and pop in the food. Hands in sight I open door, pop belt and bail car to spew. He had started to draw, put it away, asked me if I needed an ambulance. I said no but I did want to get home. A peek into my car showed groceries and an open glovebox. He let me go.
Did you know in Texas its illegal to shoot a buffalo out of the 3rd story window of a hotel? I know this is likley not your state but somthing I've found out
Yes. Medical reasons get escorts, including labor. When I went into labor at 1 AM right after an ice storm, when no one was supposed to be on the roads except in an emergency, we were shadowed all the way to the hospital. When we went from one district to another they radioed ahead and passed us off from one to the next, including across city lines.
11:26 I mean.... if you're willing to pee yourself... sitting in your car. I would accept that as alternative justice instead of giving you a ticket. I mean gotta figure they probably have a 10+ minute drive back to their house now sitting in their own pee, it's going to soak into the seat, they'll have to shampoo the fabric, it's going to be so hard to get the smell out of the car....
I read a story about a guy who was pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked the driver how fast he thought he was going, the driver said he didn’t speak English, he spoke Spanish. The cop took Spanish in college. Then, the driver said he didn’t speak Spanish, he spoke German. The cop was German born. The driver then said he spoke Japanese. Guess who spent 20 years in Japan?
Not really relevant, but I got pulled over in a highway pit stop town in GA. I cut off a sheriff’s car at a mcdonalds (he was in my blind spot and riding my ass). I had only had my license for 2 months and I was only 18, so of course I was crying a little. I had just been to a museum a couple hours before which required my ID to rent one of those iPods for an audio tour. I couldn’t find my license ANYWHERE. The cop was very red and very angry for no reason beyond wanting to ruin my day. I guess I interrupted his McDonalds and made him do his job, shame on me.
Note to past self: When Officer says, “Do you know why I pulled you over?” DO say, “No, sir, but I’m sure you had a good reason” DO NOT do the panicky thing and say, “No but,,,,you can like,,,tell me,,,if you want,,,”
I got pulled over for no tail lights i said ok let's see if i can fix them got out and slammed the door looked at the lights and they were working. Cop looks at me and said you're truck is trying to make me look bad. I said no problem I believe you I'll get it home and fix it. Never got a ticket👍
how to get out of every ticket. have your dad be a cop lol. my friend and I both have cop dads. Both of us have not reached our 20's yet and hes been pulled over, over 100 times with one ticket around the 105 mark. I have been pulled about 40-50 times no tickets. Yes we abuse the fuck out of the system.
*Get pulled over on motorcycle*
"Do you know why I stopped you?"
"I wasn't wearing my seatbelt."
Illegal window tint
i once witnessed the same motorcycle get pulled over. twice. Was speeding like hell down the highway - gets pulled over, logically. Idiot decides he needs to make up for time lost being ticketed. speeds again. And again, we later pass him on the side of the road, receiving a second ticket.
@@Mini_Squatch Jeez.. 😂😂
"Not a cop, not a driver, not even a human on planet earth, but...."
Im an abstract object
Not a cop or a driver but I’m a sexually active toaster OwO my master feeds me icing 2 times a day UWU
@@dalbled8534 wtf😑
OXY Nebula I’m sorry :)
4:04
"it's not like I killed anyone"
well yes, but with enough car flipping, the 'anyone' will eventually be you
Also it's just lucky that they hadn't killed or injured someone else
you found the joke, congrats
It’s not like I killed everyone….
back in the mid-90s i worked military base police dispatch. one of the patrolmen came in and said he'd been speeding about 80mph (felony) on the interstate and got pulled by a state trooper. "Do you know why i pulled you over?" "Yes. i was the only one going slow enough for you to catch." he got off with a warning.
"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"So it'd be less windy when we talked?"
That one killed me LMFAO
(Without being asked)
"I'm a good Christian"
Uh oh, someone's about to be a bad Christian.
My overweight coworker pretended to be in labor so her husband wouldn’t get a ticket.
Lmao
Was on a trip once with my father when I was younger. We were passing through what was essentially a barren highway with a few small towns scattered about. We got pulled over by a cop in his 40s. All he wanted Was to ask about my dads dodge Durango and make small talk and then he let us go on our way. So I suppose he was just bored in the middle of nowhere snd wanted to talk to someone.
When you get pulled over for speeding and manage to talk your way into the death penalty.
They said it could not be done.
My friend George was once pulled over while street racing a random car on the freeway. When the cop stepped out of the car, george immediately started screaming “officer why would you pull me over!... that guy hit my car and ran” *while pointing to random scratches on his car. Cop immediately ran back to his car and left chasing the other car, leaving my friend alone.
Ditto on being polite to officers. That strategy saved my ass when I was pulled over for broken tail lights. Helps that I'm a nice and polite person irl by default.
MadameSomnambule I thought broken lights are just fix it tickets
My math teacher has used his colorblindness as an excuse for running a red light
Luna Lovegood that’ll never work because everyone knows top is red and green is bottom unless the light is left to right and not up and down
Crankiebox 99 r/whoosh
@@desmondjohnson6727 oof
Crankiebox 99 well I’m pretty sure he used it in a place where the traffic lights are from left to right and not up and down
""This is not the car your looking for!"" Oh My God! I laughed for a good five minutes at that! Oh I can't breath! Because while typing that, I was still chuckling!
did you just use two sets of quotations for that
@@MG-ts1xs Yeah
@@nikkivillemaire4855 why
@@anotheryale28 Cause I felt like it!
@@anotheryale28 some regional settings cause 2 quotes to be typed instead of 1. maybe she couldn't be bothered to correct it
When they try to bribe you just take the money then give them a ticket
Lol yes. Big brain
Except you have to make sure they don't give it as a "bribe" but as a " freely given with no strings attached" that way they can't get you in trouble for taking a bribe cause it was freely given. Also make sure you have a copy of the audio should you need to show up in court to prove you did not take bribe money,cause,even though they were still fined or whatever,you might still get in trouble.
@@TheSpencermacdougall hmmmmm, very well. I guess that is true and I did not think of that yet
@@TheSpencermacdougall pretty sure that's illegal, my dad used to work on government back round checks and its illegal to even accept a bottle bozz.
In one of Orson Scott Card's stories (not Ender's Game but a different story by him), the boss of a large corporation tells all of his low-level employees, "if anyone ever offers you a bribe to do something, accept it and do what they want, but always tell me."
That way, he always knows what's going on and can interfere if he needs to. Being allowed to keep the bribe money is the reward for the employee's loyalty.
First guy is a saint. Hope everything worked out
11:15 no not *POLICE BRUTALITY*
more like *POLICE FATALITY*
let me just Y O I N K out of the way of this ticket
Gonna grab like 5 get out of jail free cards from monopoly on me at all times now
"Oh officer its really warm today, excuse me one moment while I take off my blouse to cool down"
Wouldn't really work during winter
My brother was delivering medication to people for a local pharmacy. One day he was going 60 in a 45 over a hill and a cop passed him, he knew the cop got him cuz he saw the break lights and pulled over right away. The cop walked up to the window already laughing at how he pulled over so fast so my brother joked along. Then the cop asked where he was going and he gave a address and the cop asked what he was doing there and my brother said "well you see officer I'm a drug dealer I'm just doing my runs" and the cop was super confused and he pointed to the lock bin in the back with a pharmacy logo on it. Cop didn't even get his license just told him to slow down and walked back to his car
"They had said that they were a great Christian and didn't deserve a ticket"
Aha you see why else would god give me the ability to pull you over then?
A sure fire way to get a ticket
Cop: license and registration please.
Me: my apologies officer I was making my way to your mother's house to give her a birth control smoothie.
My mom's dad got out of tickets by showing his border patrol badge
11:17 flex tape can’t fix that
My dad got my mom off a DUI.
They had both drunk more than enough but he was propper wasted. When she rolled the window down he started yelling 'why do you think i let her drive? Im the one thats drunk, cmon' and so forth. The cop just gave my mom a nod and wished her good luck with him. As they drove away they laughed and got home safe
Cringe Time: The one about "we're all white here..." reminds me of how "you're a white man" used to be used as a compliment meaning an honest and generous person, as though only someone who was white could possibly have those attributes... ugh!
As a white person, I feel an inward cringe when I read that expression in old story books now.
Same.
I always heard "mighty white of you". Because the stereotype for white people was being overly nice and helpful.
Not a cop but a driver whos unintentionally dodged 2 tickets.
Went to go pick up mother from the hospital at 3 am. Was very tired. Apparently, I was swerving, but being exhausted, I was unable to tell at the time. I was pulled over in the hospital parking lot. I expressed my confusion when he asked if i had been drinking, and he looked at me and explained what he was following me for. My mother walks out in scrubs and hangs around waiting for the stop to finish. He lets me go while saying if i needed to sleep on the side of the road, feel free to do so.
Second, I was absent mindedly going 20 over along the highway heading out of town on my way home just getting off work. He passes me along the highway and pulls off a movie perfect u turn and flips off the lights.
"Crap, Im boned." I think.
I dont resist, turned over in a gas station parking lot. He comes up to my window, and still in uniform. He asks "Do you know why I stopped you?"
I think for a split second and just admit it.
"Im sorry, i was speeding and didnt watch my speedometer. I just got off work and was excited to get home."
He takes my id back to the car and just tells me to ease up. Fully expected to get a ticket both times and was pleasantly surprised.
The easiest way I've gotten out of a ticket? Purple Heart plate on my car. Getting wounded in Iraq was good for something.
I have a few things that if I swallow that food I will throw up within a minute or so. Motioned over, I had groceries on the seat including one of these foods. Rolled window down, open glove box and pop in the food. Hands in sight I open door, pop belt and bail car to spew. He had started to draw, put it away, asked me if I needed an ambulance. I said no but I did want to get home. A peek into my car showed groceries and an open glovebox. He let me go.
13:20 is Fort Benning a reference to something?
I just learned a law of the state I live in.
Did you know in Texas its illegal to shoot a buffalo out of the 3rd story window of a hotel?
I know this is likley not your state but somthing I've found out
@@locallampdealer I am from Virginia, and I did not know that about Texas
@@ncduskrose hmm well theres a fun lil fact
Foxclaw The Weird In Michigan if a robber breaks their arm in your house they can sue you
In Florida If you plant a flower in a pot without a drainage hole, you have created a public nuisance.
That 19 year old drunk driver is fucked up, and needs to be locked up for her own good and the safety of everyone around her.
Can we just talk about how gold this is 2:16
A cop escort to save a cop? 🤔. If it wasn't a cop, would a cop escort still be a thing? Just asking
Depends on the cop who pulled the car over.
Yes. Medical reasons get escorts, including labor. When I went into labor at 1 AM right after an ice storm, when no one was supposed to be on the roads except in an emergency, we were shadowed all the way to the hospital. When we went from one district to another they radioed ahead and passed us off from one to the next, including across city lines.
11:26 I mean.... if you're willing to pee yourself... sitting in your car. I would accept that as alternative justice instead of giving you a ticket.
I mean gotta figure they probably have a 10+ minute drive back to their house now sitting in their own pee, it's going to soak into the seat, they'll have to shampoo the fabric, it's going to be so hard to get the smell out of the car....
Give em a ticket anyway, just a add insult to injury.
I read a story about a guy who was pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked the driver how fast he thought he was going, the driver said he didn’t speak English, he spoke Spanish. The cop took Spanish in college. Then, the driver said he didn’t speak Spanish, he spoke German. The cop was German born. The driver then said he spoke Japanese. Guess who spent 20 years in Japan?
Not really relevant, but I got pulled over in a highway pit stop town in GA. I cut off a sheriff’s car at a mcdonalds (he was in my blind spot and riding my ass). I had only had my license for 2 months and I was only 18, so of course I was crying a little. I had just been to a museum a couple hours before which required my ID to rent one of those iPods for an audio tour. I couldn’t find my license ANYWHERE. The cop was very red and very angry for no reason beyond wanting to ruin my day. I guess I interrupted his McDonalds and made him do his job, shame on me.
5:57 exept that didnt happen though did it
Note to past self: When Officer says, “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
DO say, “No, sir, but I’m sure you had a good reason”
DO NOT do the panicky thing and say,
“No but,,,,you can like,,,tell me,,,if you want,,,”
When your too early to even read the comments
:O Im normally here a week after it’s uploaded
I got pulled over for no tail lights i said ok let's see if i can fix them got out and slammed the door looked at the lights and they were working. Cop looks at me and said you're truck is trying to make me look bad. I said no problem I believe you I'll get it home and fix it. Never got a ticket👍
Hello there
Actually, were I live police are allowed to speed, a officer I know uses that to catch people speeding
and what was the Nort bound shit,l didnt get it... ls that a north american joke lm to south american to understand?
Woah. I'm actually early? Also the views are at 999 and the likes at 111 xD
nOt A cOp BuT
Lol
My mom's dad got out of tickets using his border patrol badge
The whole Microsoft Sam voice kills it for me especially when it isnt even being read with the right cadence or context and tone. 0/10
Wassup people
11:00 stolen from a video
“Here gwon now quick I’m only doing it cause I hurled with your father”
Crap I gotta learn sign language.
What seems to be the officer, problem?
Forget God pray to money bird
5861 great day you magnificent 😎
Easy, just drop a gear and disappear.
No views
3 likes
TH-cam's on drugs again guys
I’m viewer 201
They've completely overdosed this past week.
I have 1.6 hours to upvote. Cya later
oof
Nene
how to get out of every ticket. have your dad be a cop lol. my friend and I both have cop dads. Both of us have not reached our 20's yet and hes been pulled over, over 100 times with one ticket around the 105 mark. I have been pulled about 40-50 times no tickets. Yes we abuse the fuck out of the system.
How am I early?
Wtry
First
Woah I’m early