The Worst Writing I've Encountered: Kylie and Kendall's Sci-Fi Book

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ย. 2024
  • Yeah this... this was wow.... holy no. No no no. No.
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ความคิดเห็น • 583

  • @DanielGreeneReviews
    @DanielGreeneReviews  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

    Big thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring today's video. Be sure to checkout www.squarespace.com/danielgreene

    • @michaeleggimann106
      @michaeleggimann106 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Yay square space. A patron to many of my favorites

  • @orcanimal
    @orcanimal 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1111

    Rest assured the KK sisters did as much actual writing on this book as one would be able to credit a keyboard when typing out a grocery list.

    • @f0rth3l0v30fchr15t
      @f0rth3l0v30fchr15t 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +91

      I mean, they get all the credit for the way they look when it was plastic surgeons who did all the work, so this is right in their wheelhouse.

    • @xidarian
      @xidarian 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +68

      You'd assume that but why hire such a shitty ghost writer?

    • @rubytiger13
      @rubytiger13 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@xidarian the bimbos probably used ai ounce they found out all they had to do was mindlessly spread their plastic cheeks and sheet all over their keyboard to get a "novel"

    • @Wineoclockbookworm
      @Wineoclockbookworm 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

      ​just a wild guess but maybe because they have no taste?

    • @rubytiger13
      @rubytiger13 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Wineoclockbookworm and no brains

  • @MasterHigure
    @MasterHigure 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +237

    Each sentence has exactly six words. This makes the book quite monotonous. Reading out loud would catch it. But if you don't you don't. Then you're stuck with this shit. Like reading bullet points off slides. The same cadence all the time. Not a single hint of variation. It gets boring after a while. Sounds like a constant sine wave. You wish they did something else. Made some music with their language. But no, we can't have that. You get six words per sentence. No more, no less, always six. Books shouldn't be written like this. But sadly they are some times. It's very very very very bad.

    • @Sweetheartstoryreviews
      @Sweetheartstoryreviews 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

      @@MasterHigure The fact that you managed that was impressive. See? I couldn't even do it.

    • @MasterHigure
      @MasterHigure 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

      @@Sweetheartstoryreviews It did take quite some effort. But you get used to it.

    • @generalbradley6421
      @generalbradley6421 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Lmaoo

    • @MrJohnMarbles
      @MrJohnMarbles หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      well done

    • @saramcghee8689
      @saramcghee8689 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@MasterHigure That was so good! 😆

  • @nhart5132
    @nhart5132 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +433

    "Don't you know, my family is very, very, very important, therefore I matter." That pretty much says it all... 😂😂😂

    • @recon_fpv
      @recon_fpv 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      ^self-important

    • @springgg4055
      @springgg4055 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@recon_fpv basically the Kardashians’ thought process

  • @JamesTullos
    @JamesTullos 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +629

    I forgot this book existed. It has a *sequel* too.

    • @fearjunkie
      @fearjunkie 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +48

      OH GOD.

    • @rubytiger13
      @rubytiger13 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      ​@@fearjunkieAI has gone to far

    • @vamsiampolu8438
      @vamsiampolu8438 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      I would watch a show where the two of you critique a terrible book

    • @cbob213
      @cbob213 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@vamsiampolu8438that’s what this is. Why do people still equate things to old tv shows lol

    • @samuelleask1132
      @samuelleask1132 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      😮😮😮

  • @samhunt6300
    @samhunt6300 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +288

    This certainly raises my confidence that I am not as incompetent as I thought.

    • @swordablaze9259
      @swordablaze9259 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Ikr! 😂 it's also quite alarming that a professional ghost writer would churn this out. I'm not sure how surprised I am that the publishing house's editor(s) let this through...

    • @mEmory______
      @mEmory______ 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      It does tge opposite fir me. Am i doing this bad???? 😰

    • @KarlKristofferJohnsson
      @KarlKristofferJohnsson 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@mEmory______ I'm sure you don't.

    • @MrWepx-hy6sn
      @MrWepx-hy6sn หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Same, like listening to Dan reading this and looking at my own shit actually boosts my morale

    • @Slipfish
      @Slipfish หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@swordablaze9259 They let it through because they knew the names attached would make it sell more than tens of thousands of well written novels did.

  • @hannahbrennan2131
    @hannahbrennan2131 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +395

    These celebrities were so preoccupied with whether they could that they didn't stop to think whether they should.

    • @skylark7921
      @skylark7921 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

      Honestly maybe invert the quote. They were so focused on it they *should* sell a book, they didn’t stop to wonder if they actually *could* make anything worth reading

    • @smuu1996
      @smuu1996 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@skylark7921 Eh, those ghost writers sometimes do a good job, sometimes they don't...

    • @tomascorona71
      @tomascorona71 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@hannahbrennan2131 nice reference to doctor Malcolm.

    • @rangerstedfast
      @rangerstedfast หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Clever girl...

    • @ChuffedLemon
      @ChuffedLemon หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Bold of you to assume that any thought on their behalf was at all involved 😅

  • @aaronharvey5625
    @aaronharvey5625 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +461

    I like to think the sentence cadence is fucked because Kendall would write half a sentence and then pass it to Kylie to finish the sentence.
    (They definitely had a ghostwriter and did not write a syllable if this book.)

    • @rubytiger13
      @rubytiger13 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

      Probably used AI as even the most brainless of the world can smear their unwashed cheeks across a keyboard and get a novel

    • @notyourdad
      @notyourdad 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      @@rubytiger13 Give an AI a short summary for a story and a structure to follow and it will give you a very solid outline. Prompt it to write scenes based on that outline and it will produce better work than this.

    • @rubytiger13
      @rubytiger13 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@notyourdad so your saying that anyone with even the lowest functioning down syndrome could use AI to make a better story

    • @EvelyntMild
      @EvelyntMild 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      Their ghost writer was Maya Sloan. Never heard of her, but google says she's an award winning author. I'm convinced that award was for perfect attendence in middle school. Dotdotdot

    • @notyourdad
      @notyourdad 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@Midori_Seabreeze This book came out a decade ago.

  • @HelloFutureMe
    @HelloFutureMe 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +254

    I think the most I've done is about 46 hours. I know I've never broken 50. But yeah, it's weird to feel c o g n i t i v e b r e a k d o w n in real time

    • @chrisnorris1987
      @chrisnorris1987 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      In the Ultrarunning community, there are people hitting well over 100 hours at last man standing races, and other long format races. I've raced 60+ hours a couple of times and can confirm it's very psychedelic. Reality fades to waking dreams.

    • @EvelyntMild
      @EvelyntMild 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      I hit about 72 hours once. The shadow people seemed nice enough, but I could never quite hear what they were saying...dotdotdot

    • @AndrewThoesen
      @AndrewThoesen 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I've done 43 hours without sleep and it is indeed trippy. Would not recommend.

    • @meikusje
      @meikusje 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      ​@@chrisnorris1987 I watched a video a while back of someone doing an ultra marathon and he had a 'spotter' (can't recall exactly what it was called, but someone who ran with him for bits at a time). At some point near the end, he would just be asking the spotter 'are you seeing that too?', 'is this really there?' and other stuff like that. It's a wild 'hobby', that's for sure!

    • @kamranm946
      @kamranm946 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@chrisnorris1987 some ultrarunner (I think Courtney Dauwalter?) made a shirt with pictures of a bunch of her hallucinations, but I can't find it now

  • @drewtheunspoken3988
    @drewtheunspoken3988 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +355

    They are genuine inspirations! They have shown that you don't need skill or talent to get your novel published. You just have to be famous and have lots of money.

    • @JoeAuerbach
      @JoeAuerbach 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

      Not entirely true. You can self publish without talent OR fame. I certainly did it!

    • @rubytiger13
      @rubytiger13 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      And with AI all you have to do is spread your unwashed cheeks and render your keyboard brown to get a novel of this calliber

    • @drewtheunspoken3988
      @drewtheunspoken3988 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@JoeAuerbach I haven't read your work, but I'd be willing to bet it's 10X's better than the overpriced toilet paper those girls put out.

    • @swordablaze9259
      @swordablaze9259 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Yeah, it's either talent or already famous that trads seem to go for. The famous don't have to be talented - just bring an almost guarenteed audience to the table. Self publishing is an entirely different game and more or less anyone can publish this way.

    • @AkaSora96
      @AkaSora96 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Hell, you don't even need to actually write it

  • @skybreaker7966
    @skybreaker7966 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +179

    Seems like a clear case of "Editor and publisher didn't want to piss off celebrities"

    • @thecrispymaster
      @thecrispymaster 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

      More likely a case of "we're going to pay our ghost writer so little that they'll have to put the whole thing together in two weeks to make in any way economically viable for them".

    • @takanara7
      @takanara7 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

      It's more like "This is guaranteed to sell regardless of quality so why bother spending money editing?"

  • @DenDave_
    @DenDave_ 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +235

    Well, of all people that could've written a sci-fi novel, these two surely are the last i would ever have expected it from.

    • @billyalarie929
      @billyalarie929 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Well, you were right!

    • @pRahvi0
      @pRahvi0 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Evidently, they were about the last who ever should have.

    • @jamesmacleod9382
      @jamesmacleod9382 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Hell is freezing over.

    • @siisti81
      @siisti81 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      nah cuz they still haven't, so you're good

    • @IAteFire
      @IAteFire 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      They couldn’t do it, which is why they hired a ghostwriter to do it for them!

  • @Idontcare5225
    @Idontcare5225 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

    "We're approaching some dialogue" should NOT be a sentence a reader has to utter aloud or even deign to think while reading. Lordy...

    • @springgg4055
      @springgg4055 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Idontcare5225 bro, what’s the timestamp 😭

    • @JaneXemylixa
      @JaneXemylixa 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      "At this point, I experienced gameplay" - Josh Strife Hayes reviewing an idle "rpg"

  • @tait4508
    @tait4508 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +87

    The drop in quality from the prologue (which wasn't terrible) to the actual chapters (which were quite terrible) is staggering.

    • @WankiTank
      @WankiTank 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      same thought! I was like, oh but... this is entertaining.
      but man, the middle chapter.

  • @eire3339
    @eire3339 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +71

    It's like they listened to Red Rising and said "I can do that." But my mamma always said to say something nice. So, books like this make me respect actual authors even more.

    • @Johngradycole
      @Johngradycole หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@eire3339 haha I appreciate this

  • @Nasser851000
    @Nasser851000 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +258

    This book makes Wizard'sFirst Rule look like Memory of Light 😆

    • @xidarian
      @xidarian 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      I don't think wizards first rule is that badly written it's just ham handedly misogynistic and gross.

    • @jackwriter1908
      @jackwriter1908 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      ​@@xidarian i mean you could consider these qualities as bad, if you don't like reading that kind of thing...

    • @mpnothanks
      @mpnothanks 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Goodkind did seem like a massive tool, but I did end up finishing the last of the 26 books last month and I found it entertaining enough. I had the good fortune of reading that first before Wheel of Time, which I’m on now.

    • @JC-qp8hj
      @JC-qp8hj 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@mpnothanksit was entertaining when I was 15. I remember thinking Temple of the Winds was awesome. But now that I’ve read a lot more I can see just how derivative Goodkind was to the point of almost outright stealing. Plus his derision of the fantasy genre and his Ayn Rand love letters are so obvious that it’s bad now looking back as an adult. It’s well-written prose wise but I agree with all of Daniel’s points about Wizards First Rule and it doesn’t really change throughout the series that I remember. Tbf I stopped after book 9 though

    • @mpnothanks
      @mpnothanks 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@JC-qp8hj Oh, for sure. I literally only started the books because I saw the TV show and was curious, no other context. I also have never DNFed anything so I was locked in, lol. As far as the Randian philosophy, FotF was so absurd and over the top that I was able to disconnect it from any real world comparison. Series ended up just being kinda junk food, but I was definitely looking forward to starting WoT and seeing what the hype was about.

  • @JESSEverything
    @JESSEverything 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +124

    72 hours? If I miss sleep one night I feel like an absolute crackhead.

  • @Verdictus13
    @Verdictus13 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +86

    As someone who was once up for a week straight without chemical assistance, can confirm you start to hallucinate a couple days in. Can not recommend.

    • @dewed1487
      @dewed1487 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Go on, give us some stories!

    • @Raikeran
      @Raikeran 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      what happened?

    • @swordablaze9259
      @swordablaze9259 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Woah! What happened? How and why were you up so long?

    • @pippaschroeder9660
      @pippaschroeder9660 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Dang hope your taking care of yourself and getting the sleep you need now

    • @Lich-t2e
      @Lich-t2e หลายเดือนก่อน

      The worst I ever did was four days straight. A week sounds like torture man.

  • @nathanhall9345
    @nathanhall9345 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +52

    The thing that baffles me is the co-author. Because if this was just them, I get it. It absolutely reads like a first story. Ask any author published today, and the first thing they wrote reads like this, or worse. I shudder to think of my first book being seen by anyone, ever.
    But most people spend a good 5-10 years learning before we actually publish anything. Most of us face adversity and failure and rejection. We persist. And that hones us.
    Now imagine being guaranteed a deal on the very first thing you write, because it will sell. Skipping the line. And in the process, hobbling yourself.

  • @Liesmith424
    @Liesmith424 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +63

    This video expanded my eyeballs.

  • @drummerguy438
    @drummerguy438 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +47

    I couldn’t have asked for a bigger confidence boost in my own writing. Thank you for suffering through this

  • @Kim_Miller
    @Kim_Miller 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    This was pretty painful to listen to. But it reminded me of something else. Twenty years ago a group of authors got together to write a collaborative novel that was so bad it would be unpublishable. They took turns filling in chapters without reference to the previous one, resulting in characters changing from one page to the next, plot points disappearing, and more. It was called Atlanta Nights, and you can find it easily these days. They submitted it to a vanity publisher who advertised as only accepting high quality manuscripts. It was accepted without question. Then the writers pointed out the reality and the publisher had to back track very quickly. It was then published on Lulu under the author name, Travis Tea. Chase up the Wiki page on it, it's a total scream to read. It's a bad book written by experts.

  • @skoogproductions7497
    @skoogproductions7497 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +59

    It reads like they dictated the book but when their co-writer tried to expand upon their thoughts they got offended and stopped them 😂

  • @robinblake7845
    @robinblake7845 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Every time Daniel read the name Longhorn, all I could think was Foghorn Leghorn. So, I kept imagining this mentor character as a giant rooster. I can't decide if this made the story better or worse.

  • @jackwriter1908
    @jackwriter1908 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +58

    _Andrew could see Blood streaming from his face and even worse, an eye missing._
    You can feel how they planned on putting a dramatic *dum dum duuuuum* into it.
    I don't know why, but that sentence sounds so bad 😂

    • @TheInfamousRoo
      @TheInfamousRoo 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Maybe cause it sounds like his attention was drawn first to the blood rather than the gaping hole in the dudes face?

    • @TheHonourableFool
      @TheHonourableFool 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      It's the "Andrew could see" which is a common writing mistake among new writers. The writer wants to reinforce that you are perceiving things through the character, but instead makes an active scene passive by distancing us from the moment. Andrew can turn at the commotion and see one of his workers stumbling forward. "Blood was streaming from his face and his eye was missing." Further rewording would make it more visceral for the audience, but even with this minor edit you get a much stronger reaction. Something their ghost writer should have known to correct if she was any good, or else they just controlled what she wrote too tightly. That's all I can imagine.

    • @TheInfamousRoo
      @TheInfamousRoo 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@TheHonourableFool its also possible it was on a horrifically short schedule so the ghost writer was basically writing at sanderson pacing with no time to go back and clean it up

    • @TheHonourableFool
      @TheHonourableFool 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @@TheInfamousRoo also very true! I hesitate to lay any blame on her, considering the egos she had to work with.

    • @meikusje
      @meikusje 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@TheHonourableFool even just splitting the sentence into two would make it better. 'Andrew could see blood streaming from his face. Even worse, an eye was missing.' The way the sentence is written in the original makes it sound like a 'and then, and then' situation.

  • @archaeologydad3761
    @archaeologydad3761 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +132

    8:44 can confirm this is a conversation you would have with your Uber driver in Boston while driving past a construction site. "Yeah, you hear 'bout that guy got killed here last week? Ton of bricks fell on him, killed instantly"

    • @WankiTank
      @WankiTank 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      I read that in Bill Burr's voice (thank you auto correct for changing it into bill butt)

  • @lordphinix3
    @lordphinix3 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +101

    I hope my writing isnt this bad, but I really worry it is.
    At least its not published.

    • @mittag983
      @mittag983 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Mine is worse lmao it's so full and makes zero sense if writing is fun to you keep on 😂

    • @recon_fpv
      @recon_fpv 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      The trick is keep writing. It'll continue to suck, but eventually you may do something great after a few years.

    • @meikusje
      @meikusje 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      It doesn't matter if it's bad, as long as you're working on improving. Very few people start out good. Writing is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice and repetition to get better at it. Just keep writing, let people read your stuff, and be open to constructive criticism.

    • @matthewkincanon9674
      @matthewkincanon9674 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same. I have a partial manuscript I haven’t touched in a few years and I’m scared to read it (especially my dialogue).

    • @zabbio
      @zabbio หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same, I worry about my manuscript. I hear everywhere that "your first book will suck" but I'm almost done with the first draft and I feel like it's fairly solid.. I look forward to reading it and revising it and make sure everything holds up logically. I've read a large portion of it for a friend who always wants to hear more... I know it's a friend and friends are rarely good critics, but..
      I'm more worried that I don't feel like its crap than if it would feel like crap. That probably means I'm blinded by bad taste.. 😂😅

  • @perteadsf4914
    @perteadsf4914 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +56

    If they were like "Hey, we're beginning writers so don't expect anything from this book." it would all be fine. But no, this was marketed as an actually publishing-worthy book. No. Just No.

  • @Bigglesman96
    @Bigglesman96 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    After everything you read i still have no idea what's happening in any of the scenes. Thats honestly a SKILL.

  • @redvalkyrie84
    @redvalkyrie84 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +45

    There is a reason that sleep deprivation is used to torture people. AND why they tell new mothers to not throw their babies - lack of sleep makes you a completely different person.

  • @RubenRodriguez-co9jx
    @RubenRodriguez-co9jx 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

    Come on Daniel, I can't believe you've never felt your eyeballs expand. You're missing out.

    • @takanara7
      @takanara7 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Sounds painful.

  • @GreyMarlfox
    @GreyMarlfox 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +30

    It sounds like they wrote lines then went back in with a thesaurus to try and "fancy" it up. Stuff like expanding eyeballs instead of something like eyes going wide in shock.

    • @takanara7
      @takanara7 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I don't think it was a thesaurus

    • @BigDaddyJinx
      @BigDaddyJinx หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'd suspect they wrote precisely zero lines. The only thing they wrote were prompts for generative AI. I'm fully expecting that this is a 100% AI effort. I'd actually and legitimately hate to believe that human beings could possibly write this poorly. I refuse to believe that a human wrote this trash. I mean, I get that fare like 50 Shades looks like it was written by a 12 year old hopped up on meth and pizza pockets, but this is next level garbage.

  • @Silmarien_
    @Silmarien_ 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Daniel, I had a depressing day today, I was very sad and crying, and nothing could give me joy. You can’t imagine how much this video has lifted my mood! I began to smile and laugh at the sounds of your contagious laughter! From the bottom of my heart, thank you 🤍

  • @julio726
    @julio726 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    This was so incredibly hard to follow. I can’t imagine the sort of torture people underwent to finish.

  • @KarlKristofferJohnsson
    @KarlKristofferJohnsson 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    New writing goal: Include the sentence "I feel my eyeballs expanding" in a story in a logical way.

    • @jacobpoore9575
      @jacobpoore9575 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@KarlKristofferJohnsson i’m thinking something to do with a low pressure environment

    • @doclime4792
      @doclime4792 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @KarlKristofferJohnsson that's an Incandenza film. Cage III - Free Show and that was Before Subsidization. Bunch of guys in wheelchairs are outside my shop but here's a quick synopsis from the old interlace archive here "The figure of Death (Heath) presides over the front entrance of a carnival sideshow whose spectators watch performers undergo unspeakable degradations so grotesquely compelling that the spectators’ eyes become larger and larger until the spectators themselves are transformed into gigantic eyeballs in chairs, while on the other side of the sideshow tent the figure of Life (Heaven) uses a megaphone to invite fairgoers to an exhibition in which, if the fairgoers consent to undergo unspeakable degradations, they can witness ordinary persons gradually turn into gigantic eyeballs."

  • @rvantong
    @rvantong 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

    Who needs alcohol? Apparently this book has the same effect on your brain as a gallon of tequila

  • @yusufkadar
    @yusufkadar 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    This reminds me of those pictures that seem normal at first but, when you actually look at them, you can't identify a single object. Like, I know these are English words that have meaning, but I don't understand any of it.

  • @lethentucker
    @lethentucker 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    My eyeballs have been expanding this entire video, and I'm out of breath with some tears on my cheek. 😂

  • @SammieMousie
    @SammieMousie 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    I'm with you on drinking. The older I get the less it appeals to me and it never really appealed to me to begin with.
    Also Kudos to you for even trying to read the book. I wouldn't have bothered.

  • @JamesLiv17
    @JamesLiv17 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    "I so vividly understand the artistry of writing right now" 🤣

  • @rad4924
    @rad4924 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    The only thing I can think of to make this book more nightmarish would be if it included a foreword by Terry Goodkind.

  • @mischarowe
    @mischarowe 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Daniel: "don't read this book"
    Me: "10 steps ahead of you"
    Was never going to.🤣

  • @swordablaze9259
    @swordablaze9259 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    "First drafts are meant to suck" - this is commom advice in the writing community. But you're not supposed to publish that without edits... 😆

    • @Lich-t2e
      @Lich-t2e หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@swordablaze9259 Common or not, I don't think that's good advice. I just write down cool shit. Maybe it's easier if you plot rather than pants though.

    • @swordablaze9259
      @swordablaze9259 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@Lich-t2e Why wouldn't it be good advice? Aside from not taking it entirely literally (suck is a strong word but is also subjective), a lot of newer writers do get hung up on their first draft feeling low quality and taking a big confidence knock. Especially if they ask for feedback and get a lot of development points or negativity. Writing is an art that takes practice so expecting your first draft to be publish-ready is setting yourself up to fail, whether you're a plotter or pantser.

    • @Lich-t2e
      @Lich-t2e หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@swordablaze9259 I should say that I'm an amateur writer myself, and I want to clarify that I don't mean to give any offence. Suck is a strong word. I feel like if you merely have room for improvement, okay, no problem, but if your writing "sucks," there's something fundamentally wrong. What you write should at least be cool to you, otherwise there was no need to write it down. Surely if you don't even entertain yourself you won't be entertaining anyone else either. I'm a hardcore plotter, so I don't think I have to do quite as much editing as pantsers in my rough drafts - we sort of do a lot of our editing on the front end - and maybe that's why every time I read the things I wrote I think to myself, "this is actually really good!" I don't mean to disparage anyone, but my first drafts don't suck, and I still go back and make them better anyway. But I'm not published yet, so feel free to disregard everything I just said if that suits you.

    • @swordablaze9259
      @swordablaze9259 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Lich-t2e No offense taken, at all. It's difficult to convey tone over text but I was just discussing it, so no worries.
      There's certainly a large spectrum of what your first draft "sucking" means. I feel it's used more as a comforting exaggeration but it can also fit for some writers. It tends to be used more as a warning that first drafts won’t be perfect and need editing, sometimes a lot of editing, before they’re ready for publication. It doesn’t mean that writers will hate everything they’ve written, although that does also happen. It could be something like the plot or characters being fun but the writing style needing clearing up or fixing fixing plot holes.
      I’m in a bunch of writing groups on FB and see a huge range of writing that gets shared for critique or even published - it goes from some well written and fun works to excerpts that are a complete mess with commenters being confused on what the story is about. Some authors publish their books without editing and it’s very obvious - from a reader’s perspective, those suck XD
      I've been writing short stories for years, so my first drafts are pretty good now (IMO) but I see the difference between my earlier and more recent works. I’ve always enjoyed mine, but some of my earlier stories certainly suck in terms of quality.
      Being a plotter can certainly help, I agree, although it can still go wrong. I wrote my first novel's first draft a few years ago to a detailed outline but had to rewrite it as I'd written my MCs too young and included characters I didn't need. I thought it a fun story to go back over but in terms of being publish ready, it definitely sucked with lots of editing needed.
      I don’t find what you’ve said to be disparaging. It’s great that you don’t think your work sucks. I think if writers don’t actually like their work then the question to ask if why are they writing it and what could they do to enjoy writing?

    • @Lich-t2e
      @Lich-t2e หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@swordablaze9259 I agree with you completely. Out of curiosity, what genre do you write?

  • @Marco_Onyxheart
    @Marco_Onyxheart 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    This prose is so bad, I cannot process the text at all. And I'm not even dyslexic. And am listening to Daniel read it.

  • @avsambart
    @avsambart 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    I get delirious every time I fly home. The flights take 18-20 hours and I can't sleep when I travel so in total I'm always up for over a day and I am always loopy towards the end.

    • @quixotiq
      @quixotiq 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

      FOir this reason I ALWAYS stay at least one night somewhere on the way.

  • @Slipfish
    @Slipfish หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    About to name an MMO character Expanded Eyeballs.

  • @calebwright2111
    @calebwright2111 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +46

    Some of this writing reminds of Charlie's political speech he wrote for Dennis on always sunny 😂

    • @LightningRaven42
      @LightningRaven42 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      "Hello, fellow american. This you should vote. Me! I leave power good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot.Taxes, they will be lower, son. The democratic vote for me, is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do!"

    • @inscendo8397
      @inscendo8397 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Best comment 😂😂😂😂

  • @lovefromshirley
    @lovefromshirley 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    It sounds like it was written like they thought they would get a tv adaptation, that's the only explanation for these strange scene breaks

  • @tiredcrazyman21
    @tiredcrazyman21 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    Im a vision technician, and if your eyeballs are EXPANDING, then you are having some serious issues.

  • @rhonwenbaker2448
    @rhonwenbaker2448 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    1) Can you imagine being the editor on this?
    2) I'm morbidly curious as to whether this... prose?... reflects their irl thoughts.
    ---
    edt: oh, yes, the sleep thing. Going without for multiple days will leave lasting psychological damage and can actually lead to psychosis iirc.

  • @yoavhi94
    @yoavhi94 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I love McCarthy and while hearing his writing thinking it's the the Jenners I chuckled at how bad it was. I always knew me for a hypocrite but damn that one hit hard and true. Great prank!

  • @peaceofcrap
    @peaceofcrap 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Daniel thanks for casually repping the choice to stay dry. Makes me happy.

  • @vamsiampolu8438
    @vamsiampolu8438 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    20:28 when you want to focus on something in the distance you narrow your eyes not dilate them.
    Dilated eyes may represent a lack of focus.

  • @deedaceopondo3520
    @deedaceopondo3520 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    And I quote: 'you built this empire but...YEEET!'

  • @johanullen
    @johanullen 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    An immediate reaction to the no-sleeping comment at around the 5.40 mark. I can confirm what Daniel is saying. When I was in high school, I went to a three-day LAN party and decided to not sleep at all for the event. When I came home on Sunday afternoon, I hadn't slept for 68 hours and was absolutely delirious. It felt similar to being very drunk; I kept hallucinating, and I frequently passed out with micro naps (a few seconds to a minute). When I finally went to sleep properly, I slept for 18 straight hours.

  • @ladyjatheist2763
    @ladyjatheist2763 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    my schadenfreude is in ecstasy knowing they are horrible writers... and I am disgusted that they will undoubtedly make money from it. Absolutely sickening.

  • @marcoschavez173
    @marcoschavez173 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Hearing the sleep conversation reminds me of finals week during a couple years of college.
    5 days of studying, cramming, and testing. 7 hours of sleep total. Thank the gods, those I dont believe in, those I find plausible, and those only present in pure fiction, that i never have to do it again.
    I hallucinated. I had mood swings. I fell asleep standing up in the one shower i could make time for, for 35 minutes.
    It is a miracle I lived.

  • @ladyjatheist2763
    @ladyjatheist2763 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    did 104 hours on a dare at 21 yrs old... was beyond delirious. Slept for 2 days afterward.

  • @nada13_08
    @nada13_08 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I second 72 hours being about the limit if human capacity for lack of sleep. I had horrible insomnia as a teen, and had a few bouts where i stayed up 3-4 days straight. Staying up past 3 days is a direct flight to Coo-cooville for just about anybody.

  • @elletheartmage
    @elletheartmage หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    It feels like the ghost writer made a very detailed outline for them to follow and rewrite in their own voice but they just decided the outline was good enough, hence why it all seems to be written as a series of events and thoughts with no flavour.

  • @IlseMulAuthor
    @IlseMulAuthor 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thank you for this review and for saving us from this monstrosity! I will never read this book. And I foresee I probably won't be reading any books written by Maya Sloan either....

  • @Persewna4
    @Persewna4 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    That was painful, I can only imagine how much moreso it was to have to actually read it. I think I understand feeling angry about the book, that something that horrendous, that offensive to actual writers was allowed to go to print on the strength of their celebrity alone! It's an actual insult to anyone and everyone who loves the written word.

  • @HGPrime
    @HGPrime 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    It's interesting to watch as you go from curious, to amused, baffled, then pissed off as you continue. But if where one of their fans I wouldn't feel like they thought I was the "best" if they offered me that garbage.

  • @vestofholding
    @vestofholding 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Rebels: City of Indra: The book that can give you sleep deprivation symptoms in record time.

  • @srely3786
    @srely3786 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Unfortunately, you can function without sleep for a long time, but it is definitely not safe or recommended. After having both my babies (2 years apart), I was unable to sleep for 5 days straight, due to them waking and crying to be fed just as I was about to fall sleep and also due to the new mom hormones racing through my body that made me so alert and wired and waiting to hear them wake up. Do not recommend and I could not have driven a car or left the house to do anything - I was a zombie. I did, thankfully get 3-5 hours of sleep on the fifth day after both births.

  • @robwoodring9437
    @robwoodring9437 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

    Those girls' literacy was formed in the texting age.
    You know their editor spent a 40-hour week just red-lining all the mistaken uses of there/their/they're. The second full week was devoted only to making sure the book HAD punctuation.

  • @hannahpurnell2002
    @hannahpurnell2002 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Never has a video been so perfectly timed for the end of a work day 🍷

  • @Rockblue01
    @Rockblue01 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Prologue: C-
    for decent first and nice thought in last sentence

  • @stephenoran2019
    @stephenoran2019 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Somehow, I don't really find this surprising. Note the absence of any degree of surprise on my face! Thanks for this! (Sorry you had to endure the reading to protect us)!

  • @su_shadow9326
    @su_shadow9326 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    They brought us crap, you turned it into laughter. Thank you Daniel, thank you.

  • @skeletonkeybooks
    @skeletonkeybooks 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I first heard of this book when it won a Green Slime Award at Bubonicon. (Yes, that's a convention named after a plague.)

  • @kaleidokai11
    @kaleidokai11 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    the longest i went without sleep was around five and a half days but it was also triggered by a manic episode and i was very much hallucinating. it was really bad you wouldn’t just be tired you go a little crazy, i couldn’t even force myself to go to sleep at that point i had to get help from my doctor

  • @Johnmrobinson-vb5vd
    @Johnmrobinson-vb5vd หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Makes me more confident in my own writing

  • @armaanthadhani293
    @armaanthadhani293 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I have legitamitley stayed up for over 72hrs a few times in college, I will attest that all useful functions go out the window. I was in the library studying for finals once and good friend of mine walked up and told me I was being really loud and should probably go home. Apparently I got really upset with him because I thought he was being rude to the person I was speaking with (turned out I was actually talking to a textbook that thought was cute).

  • @jjstuartonwriting8150
    @jjstuartonwriting8150 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    In 1980's I was in the Boy Scouts and we were travelling to Australia for the World Jamboree and my friends and I decided to have a contest to see who could stay awake the longest. I hit the 52-hour mark somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, and literally watched a man get out of his seat, walk toward the front of the plane, turn left, and walk outside. I was hallucinating so much that I started getting seasick and ill. And this was when I was young, only fourteen or fifteen years old. So I can confirm, just over 2 days of no sleep and you start to seriously spiral down.

  • @lasennui
    @lasennui 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Been an insomniac my entire life. It's a wild ride of functional humanity on 3 hours of sleep on normal days, 6 on best days ever, and zero on the worst.
    Favorite time was college. I did end up not sleeping for 4-5 days. The reason I say 4-5 is that I have no memory of the 5th day whatsoever. Day 3 was already fairly mild hallucinations and the last part of the 4th to the end of the 5th is just lost to me.
    But...I didn't do anything abnormal. I apparently still went to classes, to work, accompanied friends, made jokes, and wrote an incomprehensibly strange yet accurate thesis statement for literary analysis homework that I ended up not using.
    Mania is a hell of a drug.

  • @Finey_S_K
    @Finey_S_K 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Since I can't get my hands on The Pepperwood Chronicles, I'll be looking out for this gem instead.

  • @rzuue
    @rzuue 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    18:15 it's written like my internship report from when I was in university. Like, it's completely missing any thoughts or feelings of the character.

  • @SlothLinn
    @SlothLinn 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Secret tunneeeeeeeeeel, secret tunneeeeeeeeeel

  • @MeghanReads
    @MeghanReads 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Well, this was the motivation I needed to try writing something. Coz my grocery lists read better than this

  • @TheBeardedBookBeast
    @TheBeardedBookBeast 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Oh boy this was so fun. That must have been terrible to read, but it was enjoyable to hear you read it and break it down😂.

  • @Rockblue01
    @Rockblue01 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    16:34 I don’t think they hired a ghost writer 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @lorissajowers1766
    @lorissajowers1766 8 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I remember there was an episode of the show or a video they put out online about them “writing” this book. And I remember thinking… this is going to be a nightmare.

  • @SilverSprings1997
    @SilverSprings1997 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I've seen that cover before. We all have! Not an original idea in that entire family!

  • @sandilemlambo5701
    @sandilemlambo5701 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    10:25 this is how I feel about The Grace of Kings. And this happened and this happened.

  • @alexm-e4910
    @alexm-e4910 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I don’t think I’ve ever made it a full 72 hours of wakefulness 🤔 but once in first year university, my insomnia got so bad I was awake 3 nights through. Falling apart by the end of it, and when I finally did sleep I genuinely don’t remember a: falling asleep b: how I got back to my dorm room or c: collapsing on the floor of said dorm room still fully clothed. I slept for 17 hours straight or thereabouts

  • @davidbruce482
    @davidbruce482 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I absolutely can't stand present tense in a novel. Chuck Wendig wrote his Star Wars aftermath trilogy in present tense as well, and I had such a hard time slogging through....

    • @pRahvi0
      @pRahvi0 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Present tense 3rd person feels like a script for a movie or comic that is yet to be translated into the final form. Present tense 1st person, like this, feels like... I'm not sure... stram of consciousness? A style trending about a century ago and infamously terrible to read.

  • @saraphangel6896
    @saraphangel6896 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    "Arndew" lol

  • @quinn0517
    @quinn0517 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

    They *could* have paid a writer. It would have been fine. Somebody gets paid, they get the cash grab, and it's maybe a mediocre novel.
    But no.
    I just realized someone must have edited this. Multiple people held this book in their hands and thought, "Sure, let's put this out into the world."
    Sigh.

    • @jackwriter1908
      @jackwriter1908 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      I mean... if I were the editor I would do it, get the money and just wouldn't care how good of a job I did. After all, no-one will say it's the editors fault 😂

    • @jatzi1526
      @jatzi1526 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@jackwriter1908 I mean other editors definitely will. Schilling out shit for money is possibly a way to advance ones career in the publishing world but I'm betting the better method is to just ya know be a good editor.

    • @takanara7
      @takanara7 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The book is going to sell because of the authors names. Why would a publishing company spend editing something when that editing will have zero influence on sales figures? It's just flushing money down the toilet absolutely no reason. [some kind of sci-fi toilet that won't get clogged on the cotton-linen paper that money is printed on]

    • @IlseMulAuthor
      @IlseMulAuthor 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      There was an author involved..... safe to say I will never write a book of hers. I mean.....

  • @marissabrown2768
    @marissabrown2768 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    "Kardashneejenners" 🤣🤣🤣

  • @L_For_Literature
    @L_For_Literature หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Here I am with a 160k word fantasy novel that is interesting and getting instant rejections and emails from agents because it’s not 80k words, yet this shit gets published.
    Publishing is DEAD

  • @JoeAuerbach
    @JoeAuerbach 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    The use of passive voice here is so incredibly weird. Nobody is doing anything, they're just there while it happens.

  • @supervegon8206
    @supervegon8206 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I love that the first 3:30 seconds is just them shooting the shit

  • @katelinmize8023
    @katelinmize8023 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This is written like it's a middle schoolers book report summarizing what happened in a different book

  • @jelaneytaters8149
    @jelaneytaters8149 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Once when my arm was broken with pins and a full cast I stayed awake 72 hours straight and watched about 40 different movies/tv episodes. After that I slept for 40 hrs straight
    At 70 hrs awake I was seeing gremlins running across the floor. Specifically the yellow one from the old bugs bunny episode. I knew I was hallucinating, but it was there nonetheless.

  • @DarklordDespia
    @DarklordDespia หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I feel like I've lost many a brain cell with this book. If there was ever a good time to bring back book burning it'd be now. 😂

  • @Julia-lg7dt
    @Julia-lg7dt 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I really really hope I don’t write like this. I am about to send my book to publishers.

  • @jesterjay420
    @jesterjay420 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Videos like these make me feel better about my mediocre sci fi novel

  • @Goomaster101
    @Goomaster101 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    this book gives me a lot confidence, because if something like this can be published, then I can certainly get published.

    • @takanara7
      @takanara7 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Yeah first become a billionaire makeup and lifestyle mogul, then use your money to publish and promote your book to your fans. [honestly any 'influencer' can write a book and sell it to their followers]

  • @matthewdeancole
    @matthewdeancole 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    In a world where the Cyborg Tinkerer, Zenith, and Handbook for Mortals exist, it is saying something that this is the worst writing. BTW, Cormac McCarthy passed last year. So, maybe R. Scott Bakker for the reality TV show?