She needs help so much help! It's not offensive she has a disorder! My guess would be she lived though trauma and to work it in she wants to be disabled maybe so that people SEE that something is really wrong with her. So she doesn't have to say it's in my head! It's crushing to see her like that. It pulls a string with me somehow...
(First: Im not a native Englisch speaker so excuse my grammar or Ward miatakes) I had BIID since I was 12 because my dad died and my mum started drinking. The only way I got attention from her was when I had an injury. So I taped my sholder or put a cast like thing on my leg. From that moment on, I was thinking about becoming a Paraplegic. But some years ago, I had an accident and brocke my leg so I was in a wheelchair fot about 3 months. At first, I liked it because I got everyones attention. But in the end it was annoying and all those things. So I been to an psychologist and he helped me getting away from that wish to be disabled. Now, Im completely healed and happy how I'm.
I'm actually an ambulatory chair user; I have neuromusuclar and autonomic nervous system issues so I can't walk for very long. I have to carry my chair down the stairs because my house is not accessible (though it's definitely not good for my body to do that, lol). So if you do see someone carrying their wheelchair down the stairs, they probably are actually physically disabled. (I realize not every disabled person is able to do that however, and I'm not sure I'll be able to for much longer as my disability progresses.)
I am also am ambulatory wheelchair user! I'm often really afraid to move from my chair when I'm out and about because of SJW's. I've heard so many scary stories or horribly sad experiences where people have harassed ambulatory users, thinking they're faking, and it can get really rude or scary. I used to have a lot more mobility, but have slowly gotten more dependent to my chair. Any advice on how to get over that initial nervousness?
I myself am a service dog user with an invisible disability and it's not the best advice in the world but it's the best I can give right now and that's to remind yourself that you don't have to prove anything to anyone. I get a ton of people that accuse me of having a fake service dog and tell me I'm just doing it to bring my pet dog everywhere. When it happens I just remind myself that I don't have to justify or prove my disability to anyone. I understand that my situation is drastically different to yours but I hope it helped.
@@JusticeAnimeGeek - you don't owe anyone an explanation. If people are genuinely Social Justice Warriors their disability awareness should be up to date.
(First: Im not a native Englisch speaker so excuse my grammar or Word mistakes) I had BIID since I was 12 because my dad died and my mum started drinking. The only way I got attention from her was when I had an injury. So I taped my sholder or put a cast like thing on my leg. From that moment on, I was thinking about becoming a Paraplegic. But some years ago, I had an accident and brocke my leg so I was in a wheelchair fot about 3 months. For a short period of time, I felt complete, that thats how my life should have been. But in the end it was annoying and all those things. So I been to an psychologist and he helped me getting away from that wish to be disabled. Now, Im completely healed and happy how I'm. Edit: Oh thanks, I've never had soo many likes... Thank you 💕
@@Tagizverycool Yes, but my psychologist and I say that it is "completely" healed because it doesn't effect me anymore, I still have it, but he showed me how to get away from it.
@@Tagizverycool Actually, with proper care she can live a normal life. Much like other mental illnesses, bipolar, depression, DID, ext. You just have to continue to have treatment and keep watch on it. Then your in remission, it's there but your cured of symptoms.
I saw an episode of Dr Phil (I think) where this woman with BIID was desperate to be blind. She would go months with a blindfold to live her life as blind. She convinced a friend to pour drain cleaner directly in her eyes. She went blind and in the interview said she never regretted it and the depression and anxiety caused by BIID was completely gone.
there was also a dr phil episode (i think) where a person had CUT OFF their own legs and said they are much happier now. they also began transitioning their gender i believe to relieve more body dysmorphia. i was shocked.
Yeah. This is what people don't get. Sure, the symptoms can slowly fade away with countless years of therapy, but they never truly go away since it's a permanent disorder. Research has shown promise into finding the cause though. They believe it is caused when the brain cannot properly map out the body, causing the person to feel like.the improperly mapped area doesn't belong to them and they feel a constant need to get rid of it. This doesn't offer a full explanation though since there are other ways for it to appear, like it can appear as wanting any disability at all, not just something is improperly mapped. It's still barely researched so there isn't much known about it but there are slowly treatments coming out to help them.
As a psychology student, can I say thank you for your reaction to this? Many people would watch this and get angry at the person, but there is such a lack of education regarding some of these conditions that are less known about/understood (for example, body dysmorphia, hoarding-OCD, addictions, etc.) and you handled this really well! Of course it must be difficult for you to see someone desire your life when you have many struggles with ordinary tasks, but thank you for trying to understand the person's mentality and that they often cannot explain why they have these thoughts/desires, mainly because they can't actually control them. Lovely video as always, and merry christmas to you and your family (and the viewers reading this comment!)
Georgia Heyes I’m disabled (visually impaired, chronic illness, and severe anxiety/panic) and find this BIID thing really frustrating. Is there any words or resources that would help me understand? What I find offensive is not their specific urges and feelings but instead the way they (being those who have been very public about the disorder) approach it. Openly pretending to be disabled, which pushes the stereotype that those of us with invisible or less severe disabilities are pretending. The woman who blinded herself also claimed that she feels and wants to be treated as equal to others in the community, which I find offensive because I believe that disability is actually a lack of choice rather than a lack of ability. (For example, I can’t drive and therefor am forced to live and travel in certain places at certain times whereas someone who chooses not to get their license accepted those consequences willingly and in many cases could go back and get their license later.) Am I being cruel for feeling this way?
@@pianobooks42 I don't think there is a clear cut answer to it, but I don't think you're being cruel. I think your feelings are completely valid. I'm not very familiar with the research around BIID, but there could be several things feeding into it such as OCD, need for belonging, or various forms of anxiety. I think the difficult part of understanding mental illness is that we can't see it and even when it's defined it looks completely different in different people. The statement I hear a lot about autism is that when you've met one person with autism, you have met ONE person with autism. I think that applies here and the best we can do is to try to be kind, try to learn more, and just generally do the best we can.
@@pianobooks42 its often like a bit like being transgender you feel like you are not born in the right body. some transgender kids will try to cut of their genitals because they dont feel like it belongs there. they feel like they are a 100% woman but then you have this massive dick hanging between your legs making you feel like you are not femine at all and can never be even be close to it. this is kinda the same thing they have a strong feeling that a body part isnt supposed to be there and it feels like something thats attachment to them and it annoyes them because it hangs on to them it sounds realy weird but immagen having a random item stuck to your face forever some people cant handle it and will try to amputate that body part. but doctors will never amputate a healthy body part so a lot of people will almost kill themselves in trying to get rid of this body part by using stuf like liquid nitrogen and other dangerouse things i think it might be some kind of a brain defect idk how it works . like our brain is able to see faces in random items? its something we all have but in some people its broken so they dont recognize faces of friends and family etc maybe its something like that. it sounds weird and might sound silly to a lot of people because its a mental illness, but mentall illnesses are real and a lot of people have no control over it . and these people often get looked over by the medical world.
@@Eebie_Jeebies no, i have never seen someone being supported in getting rid of a body limb. because its a healthy body part, so its seen as something unethical. thats why its pretty dangerouse because some will end up doing it themselves in the most fucked up ways. they can get therapy but as far as i know they don't have to
Awww girl thank you so much for the amazing shoutout!!! That means so much to me! I'm so glad you reacted to this as well and added your opinion to the community! 💜 A side note, I do think that the discussion of benefits is a really interesting one, too!
During a severe suicidal episode last year I went through a period of wanting to become paraplegic. It wasn't just for kicks and giggles or because I felt I needed to be paralysed to be complete though. I was recently prescribed a wheelchair for my chronic illnesses at the time and my mother hated it.when she found out she had an utter toddler level tantrum and to this day refuses to let me use the mobility aids I medically need. So for a while I planned on calling out a window a specific way in order to become paralysed. My legs don't function properly as is, so I was prepared to do great harm to myself in order to have my needs met and be accepted by my mother. Luckily I was too much of a coward to go through with it. To this day I still struggle with being denied medical necessities by my mother, who sees me as her servant who can perform any physical task she needs when I cannot. I'm almost 21 and am working with a domestic violence agency to escape, that way I can live without being abused and do/use what I need to for my body and my health.
that sounds much different from an abled person trying to become disabled wanting to be considered disabled "enough" to get what you already need is an awful thing to feel and I completely relate, it's disgusting that people like your mother would deny medical necessities to people who are disabled (and yes, you count as disabled, in case there was any doubt in your mind)
I hope you can find a way of getting your needs met soon. I am struggling in that area myself. I live on my own and really struggling to get the care I need. It's frustrating to not be able to do things without other people making it even harder. Good luck.
Hey, I'm also 21, and I have fibromyalgia and just have some very dodgy joints and my mother still tells me that I should just do things and I'll be fine and I don't need my walking stick When I ordered it she laughed at me and asked why I bought it She doesn't understand my mental illnesses either It's like I'm not sick enough for anyone to take me seriously So I understand where you're coming from and I wish you the best of luck with your mother and your health
this wasn’t what i expected! i thought you would be more angry like “wtf i have to deal with this every day and people actually WANT this?!” but no, you were sympathetic and felt bad for her and hoped she gets help. that’s so amazing!
@@HibouCurieuxpeople immediately attack people in the Internet. I saw a quora post of a person wanting to write a character with a disability and they got attacked for that
the thing people don’t talk about is that BIID CAN be disabling, just like any other psychological condition. having biid can be a disability in itself.
rycestix yes BUT with any psychological disorder people should should be seeking help and not participating in behaviors that are permanently damaging to their bodies or others. some people feel the extreme urge to self harm by cutting, burning, scratching and bitting themselves but with therapy, they are taught other coping skills that help them refrain from these self injuries behaviors.
Yeah but also you cant allow it...we dont allow people who wanna kill themselves to go do it. You have to thing about non disabled and disabled. It comes across as really downgrading towards disabled who dont get a choice in changing. Its really sad honestly :(
Elise Mitchell-Tsamados saying “you can’t allow it” is straight up ableist. you can’t NOT allow it. but, using mobility aids or putting on tape or wrapping limbs or whatever is an accommodation for their disability. think of it that way. it is still aiding their disability/illness, just not in a way that YOU think. this is known to help symptoms of biid. using mobility aids is an ALTERNATIVE to people with biid from severely injuring their body. i say this as a physically disabled person that uses mobility aids. it helps them. there’s no reason to gatekeep things like mobility aids. i will NEVER advocate for someone to permanently damage their body, but they do what they will. there’s always alternatives for coping with the condition regardless of whether or not it can be cured. coping INCLUDES using mobility aids and living as if they did have said impairment or disability.
@@ryce3714 i understand there is something wrong but its when certain people ask for free money or benefits for it...like theres so much bad stuff in this world we cant afford to harm others...thats why they need more help than just being allowed. To understamd that if you choose to do it then you can't get as much support as others might. Because people who didnt get a choice to be born ill didnt want to be that way...not tryna sound rude but its just how i see it. They need special help (that doesnt mean locked up either because everyone knows that is ridiculous and doesnt work)
Elise Mitchell-Tsamados but, people receive benefits for mental health conditions all the time. if your biid is disabiling enough that it makes you stay home and be unable to work, should you not receive benefits? even getting benefits is INCREDIBLY difficult, so if they can manage to prove their case, they obviously need it. the important thing to remember here is that biid is a mental disorder. it is a medical issue. they did not choose to have biid, just as you or i did not choose to be ill. and they DO need special help. we should allocate resources towards people with biid that allow them to receive help, especially therapy.
Arielle Thompson Not if she is thinking about having a car accident because she couldn’t change or somebody else. And more people may talk about rights, and what she has a right to do or not do you don’t have a right to endanger other people and any professional would be required to break confidentiality over her wanting to endanger herself. And this is not just so exploration this is a mental illness which is not supposed to be accommodated for but treated. Her wanting to cause harm to her self is psychologically unstable
I’m in a wheelchair most of the time (my right leg, my right hip and my spine are badly deformed due to a deformity of my right foot due to neurological problems) but I can walk a bit and I hate how some paraplegic people hate me because “I don’t need my wheelchair”, my nerves do what they want, sometimes I can walk sometimes not because of the pain and inflammation. When we suffer from a disability, a mental disorder or just transient illness we must support each other, jealousy have no place during healing process no matter what illness is. We all need support and love to live, disabled or not.
I'm the same way I have POTS so use a wheelchair most of the time but sometimes don't and it gets really discouraging when people tell you that you faking your disability or that you don't need your chair
This was a really compassionate take, and I love your perspective. A lot of people, myself included, get mad at first when they see things like this. I used to just get angry and brush it off. But these are people who are suffering and genuinely need to get help. If we have more compassion for them, they might actually get the proper help they need instead of reverting to disabling themselves.
Thank you for giving a fair presentation on this woman's case. Lately there has been so much lateral ableism in the disability community over this case. Right down to people making fun of her for her diagnosed mental disorder. This woman's case calls for compassion, not criticism, and I'm so glad that you went the route of compassion and empathy. (Please do note, however, your comment about taking the wheelchair down the stairs did sting a bit. As an ambulatory wheelchair user, I've had to do the same as my social services continue to try to help me acquire accessible housing so that I can safely get my own equipment in and out of the house without taking such measures. 60% of wheelchair users are ambulatory or have some function in their legs but still need the wheelchair for whatever medical reasons.)
Its an interesting one. It is obvious that there is something wrong with her and it isn't just for the hell of it. I have been accused of faking my disability because I don't have a diagnosis and can still walk (ableit short distances like around the house) and yet use a wheelchair out and about. I would never wish something like that on anyone, and I don't even wish any form of disability, however minor or major, on anyone.
Sam The Bass Singer I use a wheelchair as a mobility aid too. I have osteoarthritis in both knees and need crutches for a few steps. Whether or not you get a diagnosis, you know your own body. Your doing what’s best for you. It’s plain ignorance of able bodied people who think you shouldn’t be able to walk if you use a wheelchair. Society thinks disabilities are black and white. Usually I ignore people who say stupid stuff to me or stare if they see me walking to my wheelchair,but if I’m in a mischievous mood I’ll stand up look excited then sit back down and say “Oh I thought I was cured, guess not. I’ll have to go home and pray harder’"Lol 😂
It took me years to get diagnosed, and I had to use my chair during that time as well. You know you. You need it, and using it will make you stronger. I'm sorry mentally it's a toss up between helping you get out of the house, but dealing with the accusations, esp if you don't have a handicap sticker. May not mean much, but I believe you.
I was told after they pulled a huge tumor from my spine that I wouldn't walk again. I wasn't accepting of this diagnosis but realized the only choice I had was to try my best to make them wrong just like they were about me being like "Christopher Reeves". My mom was told that after my surgery when I was in induced coma. I was lucky to experience experimental therapy that is in used now to get to my feet even though I cannot feel half my body. Still cannot. I had to learn how to control what I cannot feel as best as I can. A hard thing to wrap your mind around. It still took years but I was so happy to put my wheelchair in storage. Now it is buried. Now when I would need it I can't even sit up and in so much pain I would black out or wish I did and need a bed so it is not much use and in America or at least my local Hospital they say they don't treat CRPS and won't do anything but tell me to get off the property. It took me 5 years and many mis diagnosesfor them to find the tumor in my spinal cord. The crps wasn't diagnosed until after that thought it started 5 years before because of the tumor. I had to fight and go through a lot of unbelievable people who shouldn't be in the medical field to get to the ones that saved my life 4 months after they told me I had six months and only one chance with a risky surgery. I still meet a lot of unbelievable people who shouldn't. ** Sam, I recommend getting a full MRI with and without contrast of your full spine and brain as soon as you can if you have not.** Good luck.
@@genericamerican7574 wow you've come a long way. I have crps too, my initial accident I almost lost my arm. Have you tried ketamine treatments? That was one of the only things to touch the deep searing nerve pain.
As someone with ocd... Its not just orginizing. For me i get obsessive thoughts that wont go away til i do it. It is a release when i do it, but more releaf from the thought processes im trying to fight against
auddities from someone who also has OCD in addition to very severe anxiety it gets better! I got so bad at some point that I had to do online school. My ocd was some cleanliness but also checking things at specific intervals “just in case” or else something may happen. It was not a good way to live. Almost 4 years later I am in college, on anxiety meds that are slowly being lowered, and no longer seeing a therapist weekly. I do have a single dorm for my ocd but other than that I’m a typical college student.
For me, it's colours and alignments, my coloured things have to be in a specific order and stacks of stuff have to be aligned on at least two edges and then it has to go from biggest to smallest from bottom to top. And chewing/tapping/touching. It has to be in equal intervals otherwise it feels like my skin is crawling. I have to chew equal amounts on both sides of my mouth, so for example, if I'm eating goldfish, if I eat 8 on one side, I have to eat 8 on the other. If I'm tapping on a table or something, I have to do it equally with both hands. If I touch one of my arms, I have to touch the other. It's, for the most part, contained to myself, but some things, like others touching me just make me feel off kilter
Honestly. You handled this so well! I’m kinda curious about the one who wants to be blind but I feel like I would lose my mind bc it’s really fucking hard losing sight rapidly. I don’t want full sight bc I’ve never had it. But I want it to pause and not lose more. But I can’t imagine ‘wanting to be blind’ and doing something so drastic to make yourself blind.
No right to add to this but to me it comes to a balance of mental and physical health. If theyre willing to do such great harm to themselves out of free will, how unhappy must they feel in theyre abled bodies? It’s strange but I think we need to stop trying to understand mental illness (unless you’re a doctor or something) and just accept and love everyone. I understand why that might be upsetting to you though. God bless
Thank you for your reaction... such a kind, clinical approach was quite refreshing to see. As a new wheelchair user (due to EDS), I was initially outraged by this video; however, the psychologist in me quickly switched to the mindset you displayed in your reaction.
The anguish physically disabled people feel is really rooted in the feeling that they shouldn't be disabled. Most paraplegics' brains tell them that they should have the ability to control their bodies but the connection is somehow broken. This applies to ambulatory wheelchair users aswell. Their brains tell them that they should be standing/walking instead of using a wheelchair. Having paraplegic type BIID is the opposite side of the coin. Your body is able to do these things but your brain is telling you that you really shouldn't. Imagine that you have a third arm or are able to feel and control each and every move of your internal organs, that's what BIID feels like. It is a collection of sensations that your brain tells you that you really shouldn't be feeling or a collection of movements your brain says you really should have no control of. Moat paraplegics walk/have control of their lower bodies in their dreams. This is mostly because this is how their brains consider them to be. Even if you have a problem in your lower nervous system, your brain has the full mapping for it, it just can't get the message through. For most people with BIID the reverse applies. For example, if an individual has paraplegic type BIID, in their dreams, they might be using a wheelchair, or dragging themselves, but most don't walk or stand at all. All in all, everything is about how we perceive ourselves. Paralyzed people are troubled because in their minds they should be able to do those things and the reality doesn't match to what they have in their minds. People with BIID suffer because in their minds they shouldn't be able to do those things/have those abilities and yet, they do. People get sad, anguished and find it difficult when their inner reality doesn't match with the outer one, whether it is being able to do something or not. I also believe that we should be careful about internalized ableism when we are criticizing people with BIID. Most people don't realize but a certain amount of criticism against BIID is rooted in ableism. Most critics "cannot believe what these people want to do themselves". Really? Is being "disabled" so unacceptable that perceiving yourself as one in unacceptable? It IS harder to be a woman in any society anywhere in the world, yet we accept the existence of male to female transgender people. And we somehow can wrap our minds around the notion that some people are born in the wrong bodies and their anguish being so strong that they are in the depths of despair enough to sexually mutilate themselves and tackle every hardships that come their way just to feel right yet we cannot understand this? There's nothing wrong with being a woman. There's nothing wrong with being disabled. If you can say these, I urge you to learn about BIID a bit more. PS. It already says in the video that Chloe is seeing a therapist. If that's not getting psychological help, I don't know what is.
I have a hard time thinking about BIID. I really try to not hold it against someone for being that way, but it unfortunately frustrates me if I focus on the topic. Not much is known about it, how it even starts for instance, so it’s a bit hard to comprehend for me. If there’s these disconnections in the brain that were there in childhood, why aren’t we seeing children mutilate themselves from it, why do some cases report the children faking injuries, etc. I wish there was more information on it, and some of the information really conflicts with others. My mother is a medical assistant and has a couple patients with BIID or (according to the doctors working with her) possibly BIID. They’re always insisting different problems, but when the doctors offer a psychiatrist, they refuse, cancel the appointments, and just come back to the doctors another time. I don’t understand how if these people think they have something wrong, why they all refuse or cancel appointments with people who could actually supply treatment. I don’t understand why they don’t want help, even though they’re always going to doctors wanting it (not all, but the patients my mother rooms and deals with). I had met someone online with BIID, and we were friends for a long time but it didn’t really stay that way. I’m disabled, since I was starting off in high school and on and off bedridden for 6, going on 7 years now. I lost everything, and all I’ve done was try everything I can to get better. Brain and spinal surgeries, medications, injections, physical therapies, everything out of the box. It’s never worked. feel like I’m dying because I’m in so much pain. I would share this sometimes, just to vent, but it always went back to them with a new illness or buying equipment they didn’t need. And when I recommended help, they refused and didn’t want it, got offended because they liked having their braces or medical equipment and wanted to continue with the behavior, and after they left a long rant, the friendship pretty much fell through. It all just leaves me really resenting people like that for saying these things but not wanting help and continuing their behavior even when they know it’s wrong. I feel like it invalidates what those who are very ill, disabled, have a condition, and I worry it will leave doctors thinking we are all faking it, when they already accuse us of such. I try to not think as such, and try to understand, but its been a challenge.
Love your take on this; most people don’t understand mental illness and you took it as a mental illness instead of something to be offended by. Thank you for sharing this.
To answer your sort of side question: yes, following my OCD compulsions does make me feel better when I'm anxious about things, the issue is that the compulsions can be harmful/interfere with me living life the way I want to. So yes it is a relief, but it's a relief that compounds something which in the long run is making my life harder. I hope the woman in this video has got help, or at least is happy. I thought it was lovely that you weren't angry with her, just compassionate in understanding that there is clearly something else going on there beyond just 'oh I want to be in a wheelchair' or similar. It's very interesting.
I absolutely agree that the issue isn't seeking disability benefits. I don't think that a person who is otherwise sane (apart from the BIID) would want to actually be made disabled just to receive disability payments. People who seek to be seen as disabled want the attention and the measly amount of monthly payments (in the U.S. disability payments are barely enough to survive on), and the high they get from tricking people into catering to them is probably a factor too. Why go through the pain, financial cost, risk, etc, to legitimize a lie? No, this woman isn't just trying to get a stipend. Of course, if she does succeed in becoming paralyzed, she will have to apply for disability and take advantage of other services for the physically disabled--but I don't think that's her end game. I think that's just collateral damage or something, to her.
What you said about people with OCD getting relief from their compulsions is absolutely true. The viscous circle that you mentioned is what makes it so difficult to manage. The things that you are doing make you feel better, at the sacrifice of something else, and the only reason to get help is when the sacrifice is greater than the relief. That’s why most people go without help until it is extremely bad and unmanageable.
I watched a documentary where a man had this disorder so badly that he partially amputated his own leg and it got infected and had to be removed. Then he was happy because it was finally gone.
I think it's sad and scary. I feel like these people are already disabled, just mentally instead of physically. It's a potentially life threatening illness really. It's easy to become frustrated and offended by people who have delusions. I knew someone with a mental illness who was white but she believed she used to be black and she would act in a sterotyped way and say offensive things. People got really angry and offended by her and would lash out at her, but the thing is she wasn't doing it to harm anyone, it was a part of her schizophrenia. Once her schizophrenia symptoms we're back under control she understood that people had been offended and felt bad. So yeah. It's easy to just become offended but sometimes there's a lot more going on and the people really need treatment, not hatred.
For me it is hard to understand what is going on in their minds. BIID seems to be a severe mental illness. People affected by this really need psychiatric assistance and treatment, whatever this might look like. For me I am never dreaming of myself being disabled. In my dreams I am walking around like I used to be able to many years ago. Try to find out more about this lady. I would love to see how she is doing today! Thanks for sharing this 🙏❤️😍😘
I’m an ambulatory wheelchair user who can bring my chair up or down stairs on my own if I have to, it’s not good for me but it can be done. When I walk I can even look pretty normal and “effortless”, but what people don’t see is the aftermath when I’m in tears from pain because something may have partially dislocated mid step while walking, or the movements irritated areas that are very prone to cause a lot of pain and/or inflammation (I have big issues with bursitis in my hips for example and instability in SI joints and everywhere else due to Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) As someone living with a disability that has taken away a lot from me, I have to admit I feel torn when it comes to BIID, on one hand, people suffering with BIID have my support when it comes to getting help to manage their condition, but on the other hand I’m not sure how ethical it would be to do actual medical procedures on these people so they get the disability they identify with. Some compare it to someone who’s transgender but I don’t think it’s fully comparable either as the main thing the two have in common is dysphoria over something. In relation very little is known about BIID compared to transgender as well. I would like there to be more research in the field to help these people more effectively to find ways to manage their condition and preferably without any self harming or unethical procedures. Few realize until it’s “too late” how inaccessible the society actually is if you aren’t at least ambulatory or have at least some vision for example, or how much issues can be involved with a prosthetic limb (footless Jo is a good example there) so while someone with BIID may get something from becoming disabled, they may also face issues they could have never imagined having to deal with. If it’s enough for someone with BIID to use a mobility aid or white cane to feel less dysphoria then fine, it’s not harming anyone (including themselves) but people harming themselves or having doctor perform utterly questionable procedures is worrying... If using paraplegia as an example, someone may be totally certain about their wish to become one, but even if they’re using a wheelchair like the woman in the video, they probably just can’t even imagine what it would really be like to have no other option of getting around, and paraplegia is so much more than just using a wheelchair as it can involve nerve pain, spasticity, risk of pressure sores, bladder and bowel involvement with higher risk of UTI’s and so on and so forth. Even I can’t imagine what life is like for a paraplegic as I am ambulatory, I can stand up and walk past an obstacle, it hurts but can be done and that’s something I value greatly even though I consider walking overrated due to the pain and fatigue it causes. But at least having the option to means a lot! So yeah, I’m torn... Is it right of us as a society to let someone live with severe dysphoria over something with the risk of them harming themselves and others over it? But is it right to maybe fix this persons dysphoria but then give him or her issues that they may not have foreseen and that may be more life altering than the dysphoria was? It’s a tricky situation... I do wish it had a simple answer so people could live happily without facing prejudice or completely life altering situations that may have been more than someone expected...
Rey Of Light Hello there Rey! A fellow disabled (POTS, EDS, etc) transman here! The word for BIID (and body dysmorphia) is, dysmorphia, not dysphoria. Dysphoria means a general dissatisfaction with life, whereas dysmorphia is when you have issues with body image or in this case, limbs. Though I guess it could be considered dysphoria in certain ways as it could be seen as a “dissatisfaction with life” due to not being disabled I’m not too informed on BIID, but I am with gender dysphoria (the requirement to be trans) :) The difference in my opinion is that, I don’t think people with BIID should change or modify their body in a way that could be harmful as that is destructive behavior, cutting off a limb is not the same as changing your gender in my opinion. With gender dysphoria, which I’ll just call GD, it is a chemical imbalance in your brain and thusly is labeled as a mental illness. The imbalance is that in the womb a person develops a certain brain in the opposite body, like for me a males brain in a female body. Transitioning is a necessity because without it I would go to extreme measures due to my discomfort. Now while you can say that someone with BIID also experiences discomfort and would like to go to extreme measures, BIID seems to be rooted in some sort of self hatred or trauma- whereas being transgender is a biological thing. I may be wrong on this but I feel like the only way to “cure” someone with BIID, since it isn’t a natural/biological thing, would be intensive therapy and maybe they can get the equipment they want and slowly work their way towards being functional- sort of like someone who is partially paralyzed gaining function again if that makes sense? I really hope that BIID gets more research into it, I find it fascinating but sad. One part of me is like; people should have complete bodily autonomy and have the freedom to do whatever they do please with their body. At the same time though I don’t think that getting rid or injuring limbs is a “cure” and what if the person ends up hooked and just, wants everything gone? So while I believe in bodily autonomy I still just view it as people hurting themselves who have BIID and I don’t think the treatment or what would solve it is getting the injury they want but other methods. Sorry for rambling a bit I’m just very much interested in this sorta thing! I hope you have a lovely day :)
Broseph Tails I’m just not very good with the very complicated words lol Believe it or not, English isn’t my first language or even an official second language for me :) But I believe you’re right about transgender vs BIID. I have transgender friends who have transitioned from one gender to the other, to physically be their real self, and none of them had anything done out of attention, in fact I didn’t even know they were born anything else than the man or woman I know them as today and they prefer it that way because they are who they are today and kinda want to forget what gender they were physically born with. I once met a MTF person who felt so bad about having male genitals that she just wanted to go to the kitchen and remove it herself, thankfully she didn’t and from what I heard she started hormones not too long after I met her (it was a friend of a friend) I don’t know how she’s doing today as my friend moved and we lost contact, but from what I heard the transgender friend was feeling happier once on hormones. I don’t know how much she choose to do transition wise, but I do hope she’s happier today than all those years ago when I met her. I’m straight and cis myself, but I am an ally to the LGBTQ+ community! BIID is really so much more complicated in a sense, and I do hope more research will be done so there can be better support and safer ways to treat affected individuals. As for BIID claiming benefits or not, I don’t really mind. BIID is probably just as disabling in its own way, as the physical disability that a BIID affected individual is (for lack of better word) fantasizing about, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the BIID alone has someone on at least some percentage of disability benefits. Any type of mental illness can be just as disabling and life altering as something purely physical...
Rey Of Light I was actually just diagnosed with EDS I’m only thirteen and have to get braces put on my legs How did you deal with the diagnosis I was diagnosed Wednesday so I’m still kind of in shock a bit so knowing that they are people who actually have EDS kinda helps me except it
Isabel Meadows I got my diagnose in 2012 just before I turned 27, so I’ve been around for a while. A sad relief is the best way I can describe the feeling when I got my diagnose at last, sad because I am indeed chronically ill with a condition that may or may not worsen with time (for me it’s been getting worse for almost 10 years now) but it was a relief to have answers and have it confirmed that it wasn’t something in my head but an actual physical ailment. Hope that makes sense. You’re still young, and hence have a much better chance to make better choices than I had as I had no idea about my EDS until so much later in life. I’ve done things that are really not good for our joints, I just didn’t know that what happened to me wasn’t normal. Make sure you accept aid that can help you in daily life, it truly does make things so much easier than if being stubborn and suffering because you refuse to use that pen grip or knee brace or mobility aid or whatever out of vanity. Don’t let kids bully you if you need something that they don’t, own it instead and make it a part of you! There are so many things you can do to customize a brace or mobility aid to fit your personality better. Take my AFO’s for example, they’re with zebra pattern because just black or semi transparent plastic would be boring, so I asked if I could have a pattern on them lol Don’t be afraid to tell teachers if you need to go and rest for a little while, or need to pass on something in PE class because it’s not working for you and causes pain. I know it can be difficult to be “different” when young, but consider yourself unique instead and own the situation. But the main thing is, don’t be afraid, hold your head high, and it’s never a failure to need to wear a brace or use mobility aid or a pen grip or what have you, all those things are a way to fight back. Listening to your body and actually accepting to maybe need to use a wheelchair from time to time, opens a whole new world of possibilities and opportunities compared to if you refuse despite a need, and get maybe stuck at home instead, or struggle more than necessary at school or with other things. I’d be more than happy to be around as a bit of support if you have questions or feel worried about something or just feel you need to talk with someone who knows what it’s like to live with EDS.
@@softsnailsings5460 hey, I'm a junior doctor in the UK with EDS and have other friends who are doctors and OTs with it. I'm a part time wheelchair user and work part time too lol, total part timer! Partly because my job requires a lot of mobilising I use wheelchair but also as then I can do more w less pain & actually do some physio. My top advice to you is to once you do some initial processing, always look for a way to do what you need want and love, adapt, slow or get aid if it makes it possible. I'm always trying new things - right now the 'thing' is compression athletic wear to give my joints some support & maybe hopefully reduce epic muscle pain I get after longer shifts & bursitis etc. My hips were subluxing lots when I was diagnosed but with hydrotherapy (water supports joints!) I got my hip muscles stronger & hips stabler. It's been a long while since it happened!! Progress :)) Find the things to make you feel better or will help tackle your key symptom or instability. It is hard but some ppl will talk soley about degenerative and progressive - not about stuff that might and does (for lots but not all, important to acknowledge) help & can improve things. I also have braces, finally got donjoy forcepoint ones - tried so many to get the right fit. I don't like the way they impact what I can wear but they do reduce pain and subluxs!
It is really refreshing to hear your take on this and that it isn't just negativity. I watched several documentaries (including this one) about BIID and instead of anger, I was fascinated. The mind is such a strange thing and you can tell people with BIID genuinely feel the way they feel and are not simply malingering or attempting to cheat a system. What is particularly amazing about this condition is that once the person has achieved their goal, they no longer suffer from mental distress! It makes me wonder if it is more neurological than psychological and I think it was mentioned by the late Oliver Sacks whose interest and expertise was in neurology. I am only going to say one thing, the part where she pushes the wheelchair down the steps, I can (and do) push or carry my wheelchair down steps occasionally but that is because my condition (dystonia) causes pain if I walk too much, so I can walk quite a bit and get out of my chair to push it and yes, I do get a LOT of looks from people lol.
Personally, my OCD was caused by anxiety from another medical condition I have, so when I do my routines and rituals, it makes me feel like I’m in control of my life again because I’ve had so much freedom taken away from me.
About the car accident thing. Usually when I imagine myself getting into a crash it's usually a tree or a wall I rarely ever imagine hitting another car
The thing that concerns me the most is that being genuinely disabled would almost definitely not be the idealised experience that she has in her mind. I think maybe she should try living without using her legs at all for a set period of time to see what it’s like when she can’t just get up and walk as soon as it gets inconvenient. No more fun things like skiing, no ability to go anywhere that isn’t accessible even if that means being unable to leave or get around her own house! I have a progressive disability and even though I’d lived with a disabled mother all my life and worked with disabled kids, it was still a shock how much I didn’t understand of what disability is really like when my disability actually got bad enough to put me in a wheelchair and each stage that took more away from me. I’m 100% sure that if this woman got her ‘dream disability’ (which is unlikely anyway coz if she manages to disable herself, even if it’s by the operation she wants, bodies are unreliable things. If it’s by an accident then even more so she could land up with anything, possibly very different from the disability she specifically wants) then living with it permanently 24/7 with all the ways it effects your body and life and no exceptions or reprieves, she would find it very different to what it is like in her mind!
I can identify with your reply. I am still chewing on all the info so far. I would trade any day with her and she can learn to self catheter before the freedom of skiing or not having to rely on a P.C.A. to transport her and than maybe I would be more patient. I pray she doesn't follow through and she gets the necessary Mental health help she needs. I actually got a stomach ache from the clip and so now it's time for me to reboot and restart my own positive attitude on the whole thing. Thank you so much for sharing so eloquently, I really appreciated it. Have a awesome day. 😊✌
SarahSmiles 420 I’m sorry you identify with what I said but thank you for your response to my comment. It’s hard to know how to react to things like this isn’t it. I also really hope she is able to be helped with mental health support and doesn’t get what she thinks she needs. From what I understand, the success rate of helping people with this mental condition is not great.
It’s definitely a lot more complex than them just wanting a disability, is the thing. I don’t have BIID, but I suffer from body dysmorphia and have struggled with anorexia my whole life. I won’t pretend my eating disorder is a physical disability, per se, but at the height of my eating problems I was seriously limiting what I could do physically. I looked absolutely skeletal, would faint regularly, couldn’t do any physical activity really, couldn’t look at food, couldn’t stand for too long, couldn’t use the restroom without intense laxatives, my stomach always ached in a way that I really can’t describe. It was... not fun. But as someone suffering with really severe body image issues, I didn’t care? I wanted to be thinner and, at some level, be more sick. I would have willingly sacrificed anything-*anything*-to be the weight I wanted. The thoughts I had were agonizing, way more so than any hunger pains or body aches from the starvation, and I would’ve taken any measures necessary to get them out of my head. The only way I knew to do it, at that time, was to fit myself into the image I had in my head. I know girls who gave themselves tapeworms to lose weight, who shrunk their stomach to lose weight, knew through a friend a girl who died slicing off the parts of her body she thought looked bulky. So you’re talking about it as though “oh, they think a disability is all sunshine and rainbows” but, in all likelihood, they don’t-they just think all the suffering you described would be better than the mental anguish they currently face. Whether or not that’s true is something I’m not willing to make a call on, because I don’t want to start a “mY pAiN iS woRsE ThAN yOurS” competition, but I just want to give some insight into what someone with this condition might be feeling.
@@moosessurus8172 i agree. I know it came a stupid teen saying. To say "I cut so I can feel something" stuff like that but, I started really self harming a few years ago in my 30s as a way of dealing with grief, anxiety, depression, despair and all kinds of negative emotions. When I was hurting myself through burning or making myself bleed, it was like I was getting a little pause from the pain and everything inside and could focus just on the pain of my skin. The disorders sound gross for both of us but really, self harm and eating disorders are about releasing the indescribable pain inside into something we can describe and makes our body feel the way our heads do. I hope you continue to stay healthy and have a good relationship with food. For me it had been quite a while since i have intentionally self harmed or felt the need.
CindelMa I studied phycology at a-level and 1st year degree but ultimately choose business , it’s a really interesting disorder at first I found it hard to deal with being a partial chair user and having many life threatening conditions myself, I was angry that people would want to live that way but studying this and munchousin really was an eye opener the brain really is incredibly complex.
Florencia Allimant the person replied saying “I took psych classes in high school and for like a year in college”, girl doesn’t know jack shit 😂 how did anyone get “rekt” lmaoooo
Florencia Allimant also, the explanation she gave is complete bullshit. The cause of BIID is unknown and a subject of a LOT of debate and research. The theory she gave is one of them, but it’s not even the main theory and acting like that’s the “usual” cause is a load of shit since no one is sure yet what it’s rooted in.
Gem - BIID is a recognised condition. If we as Disabled people want others to accept us as we are, then it is up to us to do the same for others whose condition we may find challenging or counterintuitive. As to the question of whether a self-inflicted injury would qualify you for benefits, the answer is yes. Talk to TH-camr Anya Darlow, a young woman who became paralysed when she tried to take her own life during a deep depression. She "came out" about it a while ago, after subscribers asked how she became paralysed. It was very brave of her to do it, when she wasn't obliged to.
PageMonster do you think it matters that she wasn’t trying to disable herself though? Since with Anya (love her to death) it was actually a suicide attempt? Just wondering!
Thank you for your care and compassion, I have OCD and just want to make some corrections. FIrst, and most important: Mental illness often happens alone, with no traumatic trigger, it can be genetic, or just bad luck. I am not denying that trauma can trigger, or even cause, mental illness, because it can, but to automatically assume it can be harmful. My parents were scared to get me help because they were afraid they would be blamed, and by many people they actually were, people thought it was bad parenting, that I was acting out because of a lack of discipline, which was not true. My parents were sweet, devoted, and loving, but here I was, shouting about baddies with guns in the walls. They didn't even let me watch violent movies, and i live in a country with gun control, there was no basis in reality for my fears. In my case it was genetic, no one hurt me, I was simply born this way. Second not everybody with OCD has tidyness or cleanliness compulsions, many do, but a lot of us don't. It's characterised by compulsions, rituals, and the anxiety we get if we don't or can't do them, not by a need to be neat or clean. I had the worst case of OCD the child mental health services in my area had ever seen, and not a single cleaning or tidying ritual. Third yes, we feel relief from doing our compulsions, but it's not a happy feeling, it's not a 'drinking a cold glass of lemonade on a hot day, releif. It's more a you have twenty assignments due in the same week, you haven't started them, and if you fail a single one you will get kicked out of you accomodation and your family won't speak to you for a year, and your just got the first one done, relief. It's a desperate, drowning, necessary relief. Fourth, help and therapy are not miracles, just like physical medicine they work for some, but not for others. It took me years to get my OCD under control, I was so lucky to get the help I needed, not everyone is so lucky. Here child mental health services are good, and adult ones are not. I have several other mental illnesses that I have not had as good results with. Therapy can absolutely help, in OCD it can actually change the brain and you can become, not completely cured, but almost. Which I have achieved. But not every condition responds that way. Help is good, but not necessarily a cure, Just wanted to say thanks again for the compassion, I don't have BIID, but as a multiply disabled, chronically ill and mentally ill person, the comments were breaking my heart. Too often mental illness is not treated as 'real' like physical illness is, which is not the case at all. And the comments were treating it like she was making a choice, or seaking attention, which is not my experience of mental illness at all
I have OCD and nothing makes me more angry than people posting about how they like having a clean house so they have "such bad" OCD. OCD isnt doing the dishes, it's doing them for three hours because something in your gut says they aren't clean enough. Its biting your nails until they bleed because they aren't perfectly smooth. Its picking at a cut on your skin until its 5x the size. It's not know why you do any of them. Its knowing it hurts but you just cant stop because if you dont you feel like you're drowning. It's not fun or quirky, its isolating and depressing.
I’m in a wheelchair full - time as I have CP. I’m not sure weather I find this offensive or if I feel sorry for her. I don’t find being in a wheelchair fun at all. It’s difficult living in a world that is simply not built for disabled people.
I don't have physical disabilities but I have a lot of trauma-based conditions like cptsd and severe anxiety. If someone were to be genuinely convinced they NEEDED to have what I have, or to have gone through what I went through, for them to feel complete as a human being, I would feel incredibly sorry and concerned for them, and do everything I could to push them to get help. It is not a whole life, living with this. So I would say that to want to be physically disabled in some way, that badly, is not a targeted act of mockery toward people who really have that condition, it's clearly either rooted in trauma, or it's a brain development/connections issue. Either way, it is definitely a disorder.
i love how gracefully you are talking about this. i watched another video (i can’t remember the name) where the reviewer was disrespectful. they said the woman (who had suffered so much from biid that she blinded herself) was threatening the blind community for some reason or another. i have never dealt with something like this, but i do have another disorder that is often overlooked and i have been told to suck it up because other people have it worse. having a mental disorders is not a competition, all disorders should be taken seriously and offering help and an attempt to understand is so much better than denouncing their problems just because someone else has it worse
I was very impressed with the way you handled this. It sounds really similar to a form of body dysmorphia to do with being disabled. I'm trans and have gender dysphoria and it sound similar in the respect people would ask you do you want to transition and it's not that I want to transition it's that I have to. For example it sounds similar with her feeling the need to have surgery in the same respect I feel the need to have surgery even though there isn't any physical medical reason either of us need it. I came onto this video (not really knowing your channel) expecting for you to say she is undermining the experience of disabled people or that she shouldn't act like this and just get over herself but you didn't and I was very pleasantly surprised.
I love that you actually treated this seriously - I too am a wheelie (in a chair for 31 of my 41 years), and I often wonder about some of these disorders. I don’t find it offensive, more concerning. I also wonder if she would be “made whole” (for wont of a better term) by this surgery, if it would actually satisfy her. Would she then need more? P.S I never use a chair in my dreams - which led to much discussion in high school psychology classes!
I find the not dreaming about being in a wheelchair fascinating. I have only become significantly disabled by POTS/EDS/MCAS/AAU by in the past two years and I’ve noticed now that if I feel helpless in my dreams it’s because I will suddenly have a flare up of my symptoms (in the dream) and be unable to walk from fatigue and/or faintness. And then in the dream I become more endangered because my body failed me again. But I always used to be that person who used to have the teeth-falling-our dreams too. So I guess it’s about being out of control? I just find it interesting that in my dreams, I am disabled, but that someone who is unable to walk is able to walk in their dreams. The human mind is fascinating!
as someone who is an ambulatory wheelchair user, it hurts me deep down to see these people do this for multiple reasons. 1- i struggled with crippling mental illnesses for a LONG time, i could barely leave the house, maintain relationships, maintain my hygiene, etc. i understand the stress of feeling like something isnt right- but it WONT. she will not feel better, she'll want more. 2- my illnesses took my life from me. i felt like i was living "past my expiration date", or just using my parents money. i fought everyday to be believed by doctors that my pain, fatigue, and symptoms were real. 3- these people make us look like fakers. they make us look like we're wrongly utilizing the accomodations in place for disabled people. it makes *me* feel like crap for not being able bodied. i want her to be able to get help, for her own good, and for the good of our community.
I love how compassionate you are to this lady. She clearly has serious issues and needs medical/professional help and care to help her resolve this. My beautiful girlfriend was unfortunately paralyzed from her waist down in a serious car accident 4 years ago. We have been together for just over a year. She has done amazing and shown remarkable strength and has adapted so well, but the journey has been so hard and painful for her both physically and emotionally. I don’t believe anyone who is in a normal state of mind would want to be paralyzed and actually try to make it happen. I found it very upsetting as I have seen how hard it can be for my girlfriend I just cannot fathom why anyone would want this to happen and to actually try to make it happen. I hope this lady gets the help she so desperately needs.
Before I became a full time wheelchair user, I use to get my wheelchair out of the car etc on my own. I always, ALWAYS felt like people would be judging me. Questioning why I had a wheelchair when I could still at that point walk. Now that I am a fulltime wheelchair user, I HATE it, and truly believe that anyone who wants to be in a wheelchair really does need psychological help as there is NOTHING fun about it. For me having known what it is like to be able to walk, if I was given the choice to walk again or to remain in my wheelchair I would 1000000% + definitely choose to be able to walk. Ps, I'm new to your channel. I've been subscribe8of "Footless Jo" for a good whole though and I love Barcroft!!
Thank you for your understanding, I have BIID but don’t talk about it because I’m afraid of peoples judgement, but your understanding really makes me happy
Dr. Michael First, who was one of the chief architects of the DSM V and has conducted a bit of research into BIID, has said that it seems like it exists, but when it has a sexual element or something else that usually rules out the diagnosis. The Neuroscientist V.S. Ramachandran has done some interesting research into the condition. He originally began working to help treat phantom pain in amputees and reasoned that the somatosensory cortex (the brain’s own map of the body) was out of alignment with its physical body. He reasoned that the pain might arise from the brain looking for something that is no longer there. In BIID, which he has also researched, he reasoned that the opposite was occurring. The body was complete but the brain was not. He related to a brain injured man he had seen who suffered from Capgras’ Delusion. The man had an injury to his somatosensory cortex and had an unshakeable belief that the entirely healthy arm on his body was not his and wanted it removed. There is still more research that needs to be done, and BIID is not currently in the DSM V. We’ll see what comes of later editions.
Very interesting! I have crps which isna neurological pain disorder (in short). My left arm is affected and my brain sees my arm as still healing from an accident 9 years ago so it's still sending the pain message to protect me. One of the therapies used to help is mirror therapy. They use it for amputees too. Tries to help the brain to see a healthy limb again.
I’ve seen the one about the blind woman. As a legally blind person myself, I could not believe that someone would actually want this struggle in their lives. There’s people who are mad or depressed about losing their vision, some hoping for a cure for whatever they have, yet there’s people out there harming themselves on purpose. I understand that it’s a disorder, but that’s still terrible.
You don't believe there are? But you heard her, she did blind herself bcs she wanted to and claims to be happy with the result so.. obviously there are. I hate to think that's the only solution but still that proves there are
Thank you for this, so often we see people jumping straight to hate or distasteful ideas when doing a reaction. You so clearly are listening to her and thinking of how she feels and not only how she acts. Super refreshing you are so genuinely good :)
Sounds like they definitely need some mental counseling. I am only part time due to severe neuropathy limiting my balance and ability to stand for long periods. 8 wished I could reverse it.
Thank you for treating this with such compassion. So many people just write it off as attention seeking or being idiotic. Im not a wheelchair user but ive got my own disabilities (mental and physical) and ive never been offended by people with this disorder because like you said, theyre really suffering. Especially with such little research into treating this disorder. I hope this womans doing better, whether she became paraplegic or not.
You are the first person I have seen respond to Chloe’s video this way, not in a mean and nasty way. Chloe is a really sweet, kind woman. That story really did not do a great job at laying out her life and all her real struggles. But really, is someone who has BIID, or in other words is transabled any different than someone who is transgender? Something that this story did not touch on is the number of people with BIID who are truly disabled but see themselves, or believe that they should be much more disabled. For example, I have a friend who has cerebral palsy who believes that she should be a vent dependent quad. Of course, I think a lot of these people are the ones who are stuck between lives; they are disabled enough that they don’t really fit into the able bodied community, but their disability is mild enough that they don’t really fit into the disabled community. And while there is minimal chance of becoming more abled, increasing their disability level seems more viable. In the end, what is really important is that we don’t judge anyone who is not comfortable in their own body.
I’m amazed by your empathy! Your approach was so gentle and heartfelt! You are such a gem! My heart hurts for her. I struggle with an eating disorder and it’s the only thing I can think of at times until I engage with behaviors and then for a moment, I get relief so in a way I kinda believe her.
Saying that people with BIID "want to be disabled" or "wish they had [disability]" is oversimplifying to a dangerous degree. The mechanism driving the condition is unknown, but the leading hypothesis is sort of a 'reverse phantom limb' where your mental map of your body is missing a body part that you actually have. Whatever the cause these folks are living in a body that their nervous system can't cope with normally and the mental health issues are an outgrowth of that issue with their nervous system
Yours is a very compassionate take on this woman's obvious mental health issues. I am with you on worrying about her being a risk to others when she drives. I think she should not be allowed to drive until she is able to not obsess about having an accident. To be in one may well put others in danger or worse. Whether she is a risk to herself is a whole other aspect of this but touches on her own right to choose how to treat her body (goodness knows many people engage in unhealthy and risky behaviors...). However putting others as serious risk is taking away the right of others. She deserves kindness and help, as do others who may be in the path of her car...
We read an article earlier in the week about this same woman - we noticed it kept highlighting the fact that she wanted to paralyse her legs but it wasn't clear if she realises that there are so many other consequences to a SCI besides not being able to use your legs? I wasn't really aware of any of the other problems until I was paralysed myself and at first I thought not being able to walk would be the worst thing but now I'd say that's the easiest thing about having a SCI!
What freaked me out is that she mentioned a sciatic nerve transfection, which is a pretty common model for chronic pain in research...i wonder if she knows how much pain she would be in...
I am an incomplete quadriplegic with C4-7 T6-7 and L1-5. I don't know what the charm is to be disabled. There is no glamour in wearing diapers having a motorized wheelchair, and not having much independence. This woman needs some serious hospitalization to do in depth therapy.
As a psychology student, to answer your question about OCD, yes. In a way there is definitely a sense of relief since the purpose of a compulsion (intensely organizing, as you put it) is to stop an obsession. Therefore, whenever intrusive thoughts as a result of an obsession return, one who suffers with OCD will act upon a compulsion in order to "satisfy" it. Compulsions would be considered a type of maladaptive behavior (an action that is destructive or harmful to oneself or others but is used as a coping mechanism) basically. I hope that helps!
You are so compassionate considering the situation. I have a genetic disorder that has really limited and changed my life and I couldn’t help being a little salty about her, but after hearing and watching your view on it, I can say I have a different more open outlook toward her condition. Keep being such a wonderful hearted person ❤️
I find this super interesting to watch! I’m visually impaired and did feel offended by the woman who blinded herself. Like, I believe them. I believe that she’s telling the truth. I believe that she does feel that need. But in my opinion, choice is the ultimate issue that separates the equal from the unequal. For example, I’m not upset that I don’t drive. Lots of people don’t drive. I’m upset because I CAN’T drive. That dictates where I can live, when/where I can travel, how safe I am on a commute, etc. i didn’t choose to take an Uber knowing the risks and accepting them; I was forced to either take an Uber or miss my very important doctor’s appointment. In this case, I find that they have the choice to be able-bodied and then choose to be disabled frustrating. And I find it offensive when that woman who blinded herself claims that she’s like any other blind person, because she’s not. I find it offensive that the woman in this video could step down those stairs then get back into that wheelchair and get claim that she is paralyzed. This could be a bad comparison and I’m sorry if it offends anyone, but it feels like the disability equivalent to blackface. It feels like these people are mocking me, however unintentionally.
I'm glad you didn't just outright dismiss the condition which I think would be a easy response. I see this in a similar way I view the transgender community. For what ever reason the know that their body doesn't reflect their true self and the anxiety that causes can be destructive if they don't change themselves to reflect their true self. With any of these issues is how can I help you (legally of course) to be your best self? And how will you be the best part of society you can be? Like you said she is potentially putting other people at risk when driving because she wants to be paralysed.
I really love how you approached this. It is so easy to go into defence mode in situations like this but I really love that you approach it with so much empathy and from their perspective.
What a beautiful video, so thoughtful and considerate toward what the persons going through rather than being ultra negative the whole way through. I’m paraplegic and I find parts of this lady’s struggles fascinating.
Definitely subscribing to you. You're a breath of fresh air compared to all of the angry commentors who don't try to research or understand why they are doing this.
Hello! As someone who has OCD, it is very much a vicious cycle. Doing the routines, or “rituals”, provide a lot of comfort and relief. I have contamination OCD, and when I wash my hands multiple times in a row it makes me feel better because I feel as though I am now “clean”. It’s very hard to break the cycle because doing the rituals brings a short reprieve from the stress and anxiety associated with OCD.
Up until I saw this video truthfully this lady made me so angry. I feel bad about that now. I never thought of it as a mental illness but you’re 100% right about it.
I have multiple chronic conditions - including mental health issues. I have to say, I was extremely neglected as a child. The only time I got attention from my parents was when I was sick or injured. I spent time in and out of the hospital as a child due to a couple illnesses. As a result of all this, I'm extremely comfortable in hospitals, don't have any problems with needles, medical procedures, and I get comfort from the cleaning supply smells that match hospital sanitizers. It always surprises me when people are afraid of or refuse to go to a hospital. They are my safe place. I wonder if these people have similar things in their past. Severe neglect and abuse can damage and rewire the brain. Some results are more extreme than others. While I have never wanted to purposefully hurt myself in any way to cause a permanent injury, I *have* had instances in my childhood where I was happy to catch the flu or stomach viruses, because it meant someone might tell me they love me or care about me in some form.
I have never heard of this condition, but it is interesting and does need more awareness. I also wonder how many people may suffer from it. I personally am a fully able bodied person, but have often wondered what it would be like to be a wheelchair user or paralyzed but would never think to go that far. If I had the opportunity to do the experiments you and your husband have done, like him going shopping in a wheelchair, I would give it a go, but that glimpse into your daily life, and doesn't show all the "benefits" (if one can say there may be) or more often the struggles of your lives. Thank you for sharing your lives to the world.
I agree with you that I don't think it's so much about being offensive to people who actually have disabilities (that they did not choose) but I think it's about raising awareness about BIID (which I'd never heard of) and getting those people the help they need. I love your outlook and attitude.
My grandfather has been paraplegic for 9 years now. It is really hard on him and our family. When people plan to get hurt for attention or like the lady in the video it does make me feel upset because once you become paraplegic there isn’t really a way I know you could reverse it. He has to have caretakers come to his house that for some god darn reason don’t even have a license for whatever it is. It isn’t fun as a family member perspective because we have to drop everything to help him if a caretaker doesn’t show up or my grandmother isn’t feeling great. I really hope that woman finds happiness though!
You are a beautiful person & beautiful soul. Im so sorry that theres people out there that idealize such a tragic thing. Its so amazing that you are such a successful person and you inspire me to keep on keeping on- It feels like I just want to give up sometimes
the past life concept is an interesting idea and I agree. I have been told before that it seems like In my past life I died in a state of panic through an accident. So the life I am in now has made me live with constant nervous energy and thoughts of being so afraid to die because of never getting that peace in the last life.
People often give arguments such as "disabled people envy able-bodied people", but simultaneously, people with BIID dream of being disabled and envy disabled people. It's the same, but reversed. Say someone had an extra foot on their leg, that would be a major advantage to their balance and such. But even though that extra foot is beneficial, that person doesn't feel like it's normal and wants it gone. In the same way, people with BIID feel like a part of their body isn't how it should be, or shouldn't even be there at all. In people with BIID, the brain doesn't see a certain body part or function as part of the body or its systems. It sees it as abnormal and wants it gone.
Thank you for handling this with sensitivity. I am disabled (in daily agony and struggle to walk and do everything else with basically f$%ked hips (lots of diagnoses)) and as there is nothing to see apart from my crutches and I am relatively young I get the usual comments etc. I have spent time in a wheelchair post OP (luckily only temporary so far) and have had many many operations to try to improve my situation. Again, I can't imagine someone wanting to be in a wheelchair and find it odd that she says she gets relief from being in the chair, but also relief from things like skiing. She should try living completely in a chair for at least a year to see what some of the reality is, no getting out and walking, no skiing etx. As you say a bigger concern is the doing things to harm herself that could kill her and even worse harm or even kill others. This is clearly incredibly complicated and I hope she gets the help she needs and that no doctor agrees to perform this surgery.
When you mentioned about getting "relief" and you had said about OCD. Quite honestly i do feel relief when I'm "in control" following my rituals and organisation stuff. Same with my Eating Disorder i feel much more relief from my food urges when I'm "in control" managing my calories, maintaining my weight etc. As for BIID I cant say i have it but i could relate to the lady and her thoughts around stuff in childhood, i always wanted to break a bone etc, not quite the same i know but now i look back on it and feel kind of stupid but i still have these thoughts about wanting to break a bone. It was so bad at one point that i tried to do it myself.
I have OCD as well. A lot of these disorders seem to have common elements. If she feels there is something "wrong" about her body and has intrusive thoughts, then it seems "rational" to engage in compulsions/rituals that can correct or ameliorate what feels wrong. The brain tries hard to protect us, but it can do so in incredibly unique and yet dysfunctional/maladaptive ways. No matter what, we all deserve compassionate understanding and dignity.
The OCD thing- Yes, whenever I feel "triggered"(?) And feel out of control it makes me feel immensely relieved, almost like I could cry from how much better I feel. It also exhausts you much like how I imagine being stuck in a wheelchair might exhaust you mentally and physically
This was the best reaction I've seen to this condition, thank you for acknowledging that it is actually a serious mental health condition, not just someone being extremely attention seeking.
I'm so glad how calm you are. The mental condition is something I've heard of. The condition gives people the incredibly strong desire to be disabled to be themselves. I'm pretty sure once the disability is fulfilled it helps but I'd have to do more research to fully understand
Since filming this video, Chloe has been in touch with me. th-cam.com/video/jSJ5XhfIV9Y/w-d-xo.html See what she has to say here!
She needs help so much help! It's not offensive she has a disorder! My guess would be she lived though trauma and to work it in she wants to be disabled maybe so that people SEE that something is really wrong with her. So she doesn't have to say it's in my head! It's crushing to see her like that. It pulls a string with me somehow...
Yes I have Heard of it because one of my friends has it
@@michaw.2168 Your right, its very sad. I really hope she gets help. I think I may see if I can reach out to her and see how she is.
Merry Christmas
(First: Im not a native Englisch speaker so excuse my grammar or Ward miatakes)
I had BIID since I was 12 because my dad died and my mum started drinking. The only way I got attention from her was when I had an injury. So I taped my sholder or put a cast like thing on my leg. From that moment on, I was thinking about becoming a Paraplegic. But some years ago, I had an accident and brocke my leg so I was in a wheelchair fot about 3 months. At first, I liked it because I got everyones attention. But in the end it was annoying and all those things. So I been to an psychologist and he helped me getting away from that wish to be disabled. Now, Im completely healed and happy how I'm.
I'm actually an ambulatory chair user; I have neuromusuclar and autonomic nervous system issues so I can't walk for very long. I have to carry my chair down the stairs because my house is not accessible (though it's definitely not good for my body to do that, lol). So if you do see someone carrying their wheelchair down the stairs, they probably are actually physically disabled. (I realize not every disabled person is able to do that however, and I'm not sure I'll be able to for much longer as my disability progresses.)
Me, too!
I am also am ambulatory wheelchair user! I'm often really afraid to move from my chair when I'm out and about because of SJW's. I've heard so many scary stories or horribly sad experiences where people have harassed ambulatory users, thinking they're faking, and it can get really rude or scary. I used to have a lot more mobility, but have slowly gotten more dependent to my chair. Any advice on how to get over that initial nervousness?
I myself am a service dog user with an invisible disability and it's not the best advice in the world but it's the best I can give right now and that's to remind yourself that you don't have to prove anything to anyone. I get a ton of people that accuse me of having a fake service dog and tell me I'm just doing it to bring my pet dog everywhere. When it happens I just remind myself that I don't have to justify or prove my disability to anyone. I understand that my situation is drastically different to yours but I hope it helped.
@@JusticeAnimeGeek - you don't owe anyone an explanation. If people are genuinely Social Justice Warriors their disability awareness should be up to date.
@@RedheadBallerina222 - Quite right. Tell them the dog bites. :-)
(First: Im not a native Englisch speaker so excuse my grammar or Word mistakes)
I had BIID since I was 12 because my dad died and my mum started drinking. The only way I got attention from her was when I had an injury. So I taped my sholder or put a cast like thing on my leg. From that moment on, I was thinking about becoming a Paraplegic. But some years ago, I had an accident and brocke my leg so I was in a wheelchair fot about 3 months. For a short period of time, I felt complete, that thats how my life should have been. But in the end it was annoying and all those things. So I been to an psychologist and he helped me getting away from that wish to be disabled. Now, Im completely healed and happy how I'm.
Edit: Oh thanks, I've never had soo many likes... Thank you 💕
Svenja Cst I just wanted to say you did pretty well there were some misspelling but over all good job!
Im sorry for your loss and the things you went through and I'm glad that you're better now,
That's not how this works at all. It doesn't go away it's a mental disorder
@@Tagizverycool
Yes, but my psychologist and I say that it is "completely" healed because it doesn't effect me anymore, I still have it, but he showed me how to get away from it.
@@Tagizverycool Actually, with proper care she can live a normal life. Much like other mental illnesses, bipolar, depression, DID, ext. You just have to continue to have treatment and keep watch on it. Then your in remission, it's there but your cured of symptoms.
I saw an episode of Dr Phil (I think) where this woman with BIID was desperate to be blind. She would go months with a blindfold to live her life as blind. She convinced a friend to pour drain cleaner directly in her eyes. She went blind and in the interview said she never regretted it and the depression and anxiety caused by BIID was completely gone.
there was also a dr phil episode (i think) where a person had CUT OFF their own legs and said they are much happier now. they also began transitioning their gender i believe to relieve more body dysmorphia. i was shocked.
She convinced her therapist to put drain cleaner in her eyes.
Yeah. This is what people don't get. Sure, the symptoms can slowly fade away with countless years of therapy, but they never truly go away since it's a permanent disorder. Research has shown promise into finding the cause though. They believe it is caused when the brain cannot properly map out the body, causing the person to feel like.the improperly mapped area doesn't belong to them and they feel a constant need to get rid of it. This doesn't offer a full explanation though since there are other ways for it to appear, like it can appear as wanting any disability at all, not just something is improperly mapped. It's still barely researched so there isn't much known about it but there are slowly treatments coming out to help them.
As a psychology student, can I say thank you for your reaction to this? Many people would watch this and get angry at the person, but there is such a lack of education regarding some of these conditions that are less known about/understood (for example, body dysmorphia, hoarding-OCD, addictions, etc.) and you handled this really well! Of course it must be difficult for you to see someone desire your life when you have many struggles with ordinary tasks, but thank you for trying to understand the person's mentality and that they often cannot explain why they have these thoughts/desires, mainly because they can't actually control them.
Lovely video as always, and merry christmas to you and your family (and the viewers reading this comment!)
Georgia Heyes I’m disabled (visually impaired, chronic illness, and severe anxiety/panic) and find this BIID thing really frustrating. Is there any words or resources that would help me understand? What I find offensive is not their specific urges and feelings but instead the way they (being those who have been very public about the disorder) approach it. Openly pretending to be disabled, which pushes the stereotype that those of us with invisible or less severe disabilities are pretending. The woman who blinded herself also claimed that she feels and wants to be treated as equal to others in the community, which I find offensive because I believe that disability is actually a lack of choice rather than a lack of ability. (For example, I can’t drive and therefor am forced to live and travel in certain places at certain times whereas someone who chooses not to get their license accepted those consequences willingly and in many cases could go back and get their license later.) Am I being cruel for feeling this way?
@@pianobooks42 I don't think there is a clear cut answer to it, but I don't think you're being cruel. I think your feelings are completely valid. I'm not very familiar with the research around BIID, but there could be several things feeding into it such as OCD, need for belonging, or various forms of anxiety. I think the difficult part of understanding mental illness is that we can't see it and even when it's defined it looks completely different in different people. The statement I hear a lot about autism is that when you've met one person with autism, you have met ONE person with autism. I think that applies here and the best we can do is to try to be kind, try to learn more, and just generally do the best we can.
@@pianobooks42 its often like a bit like being transgender you feel like you are not born in the right body. some transgender kids will try to cut of their genitals because they dont feel like it belongs there. they feel like they are a 100% woman but then you have this massive dick hanging between your legs making you feel like you are not femine at all and can never be even be close to it. this is kinda the same thing they have a strong feeling that a body part isnt supposed to be there and it feels like something thats attachment to them and it annoyes them because it hangs on to them it sounds realy weird but immagen having a random item stuck to your face forever some people cant handle it and will try to amputate that body part. but doctors will never amputate a healthy body part so a lot of people will almost kill themselves in trying to get rid of this body part by using stuf like liquid nitrogen and other dangerouse things i think it might be some kind of a brain defect idk how it works . like our brain is able to see faces in random items? its something we all have but in some people its broken so they dont recognize faces of friends and family etc maybe its something like that. it sounds weird and might sound silly to a lot of people because its a mental illness, but mentall illnesses are real and a lot of people have no control over it . and these people often get looked over by the medical world.
Out of curiosity is it reccamended that these people actually disable themself or have help to do it or to get therapy?
@@Eebie_Jeebies no, i have never seen someone being supported in getting rid of a body limb. because its a healthy body part, so its seen as something unethical. thats why its pretty dangerouse because some will end up doing it themselves in the most fucked up ways. they can get therapy but as far as i know they don't have to
Awww girl thank you so much for the amazing shoutout!!! That means so much to me!
I'm so glad you reacted to this as well and added your opinion to the community! 💜
A side note, I do think that the discussion of benefits is a really interesting one, too!
Hey Jo, I really enjoy your videos on both of your channels!
I came here from your chanel! 😊
Hey Jo😀
During a severe suicidal episode last year I went through a period of wanting to become paraplegic. It wasn't just for kicks and giggles or because I felt I needed to be paralysed to be complete though. I was recently prescribed a wheelchair for my chronic illnesses at the time and my mother hated it.when she found out she had an utter toddler level tantrum and to this day refuses to let me use the mobility aids I medically need. So for a while I planned on calling out a window a specific way in order to become paralysed. My legs don't function properly as is, so I was prepared to do great harm to myself in order to have my needs met and be accepted by my mother.
Luckily I was too much of a coward to go through with it. To this day I still struggle with being denied medical necessities by my mother, who sees me as her servant who can perform any physical task she needs when I cannot. I'm almost 21 and am working with a domestic violence agency to escape, that way I can live without being abused and do/use what I need to for my body and my health.
that sounds much different from an abled person trying to become disabled
wanting to be considered disabled "enough" to get what you already need is an awful thing to feel and I completely relate, it's disgusting that people like your mother would deny medical necessities to people who are disabled
(and yes, you count as disabled, in case there was any doubt in your mind)
Glad you're getting help. Good luck to you after you get away!
I hope you can find a way of getting your needs met soon. I am struggling in that area myself. I live on my own and really struggling to get the care I need. It's frustrating to not be able to do things without other people making it even harder. Good luck.
Hey, I'm also 21, and I have fibromyalgia and just have some very dodgy joints and my mother still tells me that I should just do things and I'll be fine and I don't need my walking stick
When I ordered it she laughed at me and asked why I bought it
She doesn't understand my mental illnesses either
It's like I'm not sick enough for anyone to take me seriously
So I understand where you're coming from and I wish you the best of luck with your mother and your health
Good luck xxxx
this wasn’t what i expected!
i thought you would be more angry like “wtf i have to deal with this every day and people actually WANT this?!”
but no, you were sympathetic and felt bad for her and hoped she gets help. that’s so amazing!
I love how she is so kind to this woman who wants to be paralyzed and how she doesn't instantly attack that woman
She is so kind
attack ??? "kind " cause she doesnt attack her ? wtf
@@HibouCurieuxpeople immediately attack people in the Internet. I saw a quora post of a person wanting to write a character with a disability and they got attacked for that
the thing people don’t talk about is that BIID CAN be disabling, just like any other psychological condition. having biid can be a disability in itself.
rycestix yes BUT with any psychological disorder people should should be seeking help and not participating in behaviors that are permanently damaging to their bodies or others. some people feel the extreme urge to self harm by cutting, burning, scratching and bitting themselves but with therapy, they are taught other coping skills that help them refrain from these self injuries behaviors.
Yeah but also you cant allow it...we dont allow people who wanna kill themselves to go do it. You have to thing about non disabled and disabled. It comes across as really downgrading towards disabled who dont get a choice in changing. Its really sad honestly :(
Elise Mitchell-Tsamados saying “you can’t allow it” is straight up ableist. you can’t NOT allow it.
but, using mobility aids or putting on tape or wrapping limbs or whatever is an accommodation for their disability. think of it that way. it is still aiding their disability/illness, just not in a way that YOU think. this is known to help symptoms of biid. using mobility aids is an ALTERNATIVE to people with biid from severely injuring their body. i say this as a physically disabled person that uses mobility aids. it helps them. there’s no reason to gatekeep things like mobility aids.
i will NEVER advocate for someone to permanently damage their body, but they do what they will. there’s always alternatives for coping with the condition regardless of whether or
not it can be cured. coping INCLUDES using mobility aids and living as if they did have said impairment or disability.
@@ryce3714 i understand there is something wrong but its when certain people ask for free money or benefits for it...like theres so much bad stuff in this world we cant afford to harm others...thats why they need more help than just being allowed. To understamd that if you choose to do it then you can't get as much support as others might. Because people who didnt get a choice to be born ill didnt want to be that way...not tryna sound rude but its just how i see it. They need special help (that doesnt mean locked up either because everyone knows that is ridiculous and doesnt work)
Elise Mitchell-Tsamados but, people receive benefits for mental health conditions all the time. if your biid is disabiling enough that it makes you stay home and be unable to work, should you not receive benefits? even getting benefits is INCREDIBLY difficult, so if they can manage to prove their case, they obviously need it. the important thing to remember here is that biid is a mental disorder. it is a medical issue. they did not choose to have biid, just as you or i did not choose to be ill.
and they DO need special help. we should allocate resources towards people with biid that allow them to receive help, especially therapy.
She shouldn't be allowed to have a driver's license
Arielle Thompson Not if she is thinking about having a car accident because she couldn’t change or somebody else. And more people may talk about rights, and what she has a right to do or not do you don’t have a right to endanger other people and any professional would be required to break confidentiality over her wanting to endanger herself. And this is not just so exploration this is a mental illness which is not supposed to be accommodated for but treated. Her wanting to cause harm to her self is psychologically unstable
I’m in a wheelchair most of the time (my right leg, my right hip and my spine are badly deformed due to a deformity of my right foot due to neurological problems) but I can walk a bit and I hate how some paraplegic people hate me because “I don’t need my wheelchair”, my nerves do what they want, sometimes I can walk sometimes not because of the pain and inflammation. When we suffer from a disability, a mental disorder or just transient illness we must support each other, jealousy have no place during healing process no matter what illness is. We all need support and love to live, disabled or not.
I'm the same way I have POTS so use a wheelchair most of the time but sometimes don't and it gets really discouraging when people tell you that you faking your disability or that you don't need your chair
This was a really compassionate take, and I love your perspective. A lot of people, myself included, get mad at first when they see things like this. I used to just get angry and brush it off. But these are people who are suffering and genuinely need to get help. If we have more compassion for them, they might actually get the proper help they need instead of reverting to disabling themselves.
Thank you for giving a fair presentation on this woman's case. Lately there has been so much lateral ableism in the disability community over this case. Right down to people making fun of her for her diagnosed mental disorder. This woman's case calls for compassion, not criticism, and I'm so glad that you went the route of compassion and empathy.
(Please do note, however, your comment about taking the wheelchair down the stairs did sting a bit. As an ambulatory wheelchair user, I've had to do the same as my social services continue to try to help me acquire accessible housing so that I can safely get my own equipment in and out of the house without taking such measures. 60% of wheelchair users are ambulatory or have some function in their legs but still need the wheelchair for whatever medical reasons.)
Its an interesting one. It is obvious that there is something wrong with her and it isn't just for the hell of it. I have been accused of faking my disability because I don't have a diagnosis and can still walk (ableit short distances like around the house) and yet use a wheelchair out and about. I would never wish something like that on anyone, and I don't even wish any form of disability, however minor or major, on anyone.
Sam The Bass Singer aw :( your profile is cute btw
Sam The Bass Singer I use a wheelchair as a mobility aid too. I have osteoarthritis in both knees and need crutches for a few steps. Whether or not you get a diagnosis, you know your own body. Your doing what’s best for you. It’s plain ignorance of able bodied people who think you shouldn’t be able to walk if you use a wheelchair. Society thinks disabilities are black and white. Usually I ignore people who say stupid stuff to me or stare if they see me walking to my wheelchair,but if I’m in a mischievous mood I’ll stand up look excited then sit back down and say “Oh I thought I was cured, guess not. I’ll have to go home and pray harder’"Lol 😂
It took me years to get diagnosed, and I had to use my chair during that time as well. You know you. You need it, and using it will make you stronger. I'm sorry mentally it's a toss up between helping you get out of the house, but dealing with the accusations, esp if you don't have a handicap sticker. May not mean much, but I believe you.
I was told after they pulled a huge tumor from my spine that I wouldn't walk again. I wasn't accepting of this diagnosis but realized the only choice I had was to try my best to make them wrong just like they were about me being like "Christopher Reeves". My mom was told that after my surgery when I was in induced coma. I was lucky to experience experimental therapy that is in used now to get to my feet even though I cannot feel half my body. Still cannot. I had to learn how to control what I cannot feel as best as I can. A hard thing to wrap your mind around. It still took years but I was so happy to put my wheelchair in storage. Now it is buried. Now when I would need it I can't even sit up and in so much pain I would black out or wish I did and need a bed so it is not much use and in America or at least my local Hospital they say they don't treat CRPS and won't do anything but tell me to get off the property. It took me 5 years and many mis diagnosesfor them to find the tumor in my spinal cord. The crps wasn't diagnosed until after that thought it started 5 years before because of the tumor. I had to fight and go through a lot of unbelievable people who shouldn't be in the medical field to get to the ones that saved my life 4 months after they told me I had six months and only one chance with a risky surgery. I still meet a lot of unbelievable people who shouldn't. ** Sam, I recommend getting a full MRI with and without contrast of your full spine and brain as soon as you can if you have not.** Good luck.
@@genericamerican7574 wow you've come a long way. I have crps too, my initial accident I almost lost my arm. Have you tried ketamine treatments? That was one of the only things to touch the deep searing nerve pain.
As someone with ocd... Its not just orginizing. For me i get obsessive thoughts that wont go away til i do it. It is a release when i do it, but more releaf from the thought processes im trying to fight against
auddities from someone who also has OCD in addition to very severe anxiety it gets better! I got so bad at some point that I had to do online school. My ocd was some cleanliness but also checking things at specific intervals “just in case” or else something may happen. It was not a good way to live. Almost 4 years later I am in college, on anxiety meds that are slowly being lowered, and no longer seeing a therapist weekly. I do have a single dorm for my ocd but other than that I’m a typical college student.
For me, it's colours and alignments, my coloured things have to be in a specific order and stacks of stuff have to be aligned on at least two edges and then it has to go from biggest to smallest from bottom to top. And chewing/tapping/touching. It has to be in equal intervals otherwise it feels like my skin is crawling. I have to chew equal amounts on both sides of my mouth, so for example, if I'm eating goldfish, if I eat 8 on one side, I have to eat 8 on the other. If I'm tapping on a table or something, I have to do it equally with both hands. If I touch one of my arms, I have to touch the other. It's, for the most part, contained to myself, but some things, like others touching me just make me feel off kilter
i said the same thing!
Honestly. You handled this so well! I’m kinda curious about the one who wants to be blind but I feel like I would lose my mind bc it’s really fucking hard losing sight rapidly. I don’t want full sight bc I’ve never had it. But I want it to pause and not lose more. But I can’t imagine ‘wanting to be blind’ and doing something so drastic to make yourself blind.
Indie Rose I know!! To be honest I think her story shocked me the most! Have you seen the vidoe?
No right to add to this but to me it comes to a balance of mental and physical health. If theyre willing to do such great harm to themselves out of free will, how unhappy must they feel in theyre abled bodies?
It’s strange but I think we need to stop trying to understand mental illness (unless you’re a doctor or something) and just accept and love everyone.
I understand why that might be upsetting to you though. God bless
Thank you for your reaction... such a kind, clinical approach was quite refreshing to see. As a new wheelchair user (due to EDS), I was initially outraged by this video; however, the psychologist in me quickly switched to the mindset you displayed in your reaction.
Hello Angel
The anguish physically disabled people feel is really rooted in the feeling that they shouldn't be disabled. Most paraplegics' brains tell them that they should have the ability to control their bodies but the connection is somehow broken. This applies to ambulatory wheelchair users aswell. Their brains tell them that they should be standing/walking instead of using a wheelchair. Having paraplegic type BIID is the opposite side of the coin. Your body is able to do these things but your brain is telling you that you really shouldn't. Imagine that you have a third arm or are able to feel and control each and every move of your internal organs, that's what BIID feels like. It is a collection of sensations that your brain tells you that you really shouldn't be feeling or a collection of movements your brain says you really should have no control of.
Moat paraplegics walk/have control of their lower bodies in their dreams. This is mostly because this is how their brains consider them to be. Even if you have a problem in your lower nervous system, your brain has the full mapping for it, it just can't get the message through. For most people with BIID the reverse applies. For example, if an individual has paraplegic type BIID, in their dreams, they might be using a wheelchair, or dragging themselves, but most don't walk or stand at all.
All in all, everything is about how we perceive ourselves. Paralyzed people are troubled because in their minds they should be able to do those things and the reality doesn't match to what they have in their minds. People with BIID suffer because in their minds they shouldn't be able to do those things/have those abilities and yet, they do. People get sad, anguished and find it difficult when their inner reality doesn't match with the outer one, whether it is being able to do something or not.
I also believe that we should be careful about internalized ableism when we are criticizing people with BIID. Most people don't realize but a certain amount of criticism against BIID is rooted in ableism. Most critics "cannot believe what these people want to do themselves". Really? Is being "disabled" so unacceptable that perceiving yourself as one in unacceptable? It IS harder to be a woman in any society anywhere in the world, yet we accept the existence of male to female transgender people. And we somehow can wrap our minds around the notion that some people are born in the wrong bodies and their anguish being so strong that they are in the depths of despair enough to sexually mutilate themselves and tackle every hardships that come their way just to feel right yet we cannot understand this?
There's nothing wrong with being a woman. There's nothing wrong with being disabled. If you can say these, I urge you to learn about BIID a bit more.
PS. It already says in the video that Chloe is seeing a therapist. If that's not getting psychological help, I don't know what is.
This comment should be pinned. Honestly the only one that is informative and gives a clear understanding of the minds of people with BIID.
This is everything everyone in this comment section being closed minded should see!!
I have a hard time thinking about BIID. I really try to not hold it against someone for being that way, but it unfortunately frustrates me if I focus on the topic. Not much is known about it, how it even starts for instance, so it’s a bit hard to comprehend for me. If there’s these disconnections in the brain that were there in childhood, why aren’t we seeing children mutilate themselves from it, why do some cases report the children faking injuries, etc. I wish there was more information on it, and some of the information really conflicts with others. My mother is a medical assistant and has a couple patients with BIID or (according to the doctors working with her) possibly BIID. They’re always insisting different problems, but when the doctors offer a psychiatrist, they refuse, cancel the appointments, and just come back to the doctors another time. I don’t understand how if these people think they have something wrong, why they all refuse or cancel appointments with people who could actually supply treatment. I don’t understand why they don’t want help, even though they’re always going to doctors wanting it (not all, but the patients my mother rooms and deals with).
I had met someone online with BIID, and we were friends for a long time but it didn’t really stay that way. I’m disabled, since I was starting off in high school and on and off bedridden for 6, going on 7 years now. I lost everything, and all I’ve done was try everything I can to get better. Brain and spinal surgeries, medications, injections, physical therapies, everything out of the box. It’s never worked. feel like I’m dying because I’m in so much pain. I would share this sometimes, just to vent, but it always went back to them with a new illness or buying equipment they didn’t need. And when I recommended help, they refused and didn’t want it, got offended because they liked having their braces or medical equipment and wanted to continue with the behavior, and after they left a long rant, the friendship pretty much fell through. It all just leaves me really resenting people like that for saying these things but not wanting help and continuing their behavior even when they know it’s wrong. I feel like it invalidates what those who are very ill, disabled, have a condition, and I worry it will leave doctors thinking we are all faking it, when they already accuse us of such. I try to not think as such, and try to understand, but its been a challenge.
Love your take on this; most people don’t understand mental illness and you took it as a mental illness instead of something to be offended by. Thank you for sharing this.
To answer your sort of side question: yes, following my OCD compulsions does make me feel better when I'm anxious about things, the issue is that the compulsions can be harmful/interfere with me living life the way I want to. So yes it is a relief, but it's a relief that compounds something which in the long run is making my life harder.
I hope the woman in this video has got help, or at least is happy. I thought it was lovely that you weren't angry with her, just compassionate in understanding that there is clearly something else going on there beyond just 'oh I want to be in a wheelchair' or similar. It's very interesting.
I absolutely agree that the issue isn't seeking disability benefits. I don't think that a person who is otherwise sane (apart from the BIID) would want to actually be made disabled just to receive disability payments. People who seek to be seen as disabled want the attention and the measly amount of monthly payments (in the U.S. disability payments are barely enough to survive on), and the high they get from tricking people into catering to them is probably a factor too. Why go through the pain, financial cost, risk, etc, to legitimize a lie? No, this woman isn't just trying to get a stipend. Of course, if she does succeed in becoming paralyzed, she will have to apply for disability and take advantage of other services for the physically disabled--but I don't think that's her end game. I think that's just collateral damage or something, to her.
This is a REALLY complicated issue
What you said about people with OCD getting relief from their compulsions is absolutely true. The viscous circle that you mentioned is what makes it so difficult to manage. The things that you are doing make you feel better, at the sacrifice of something else, and the only reason to get help is when the sacrifice is greater than the relief. That’s why most people go without help until it is extremely bad and unmanageable.
I watched a documentary where a man had this disorder so badly that he partially amputated his own leg and it got infected and had to be removed. Then he was happy because it was finally gone.
I think it's sad and scary. I feel like these people are already disabled, just mentally instead of physically. It's a potentially life threatening illness really. It's easy to become frustrated and offended by people who have delusions. I knew someone with a mental illness who was white but she believed she used to be black and she would act in a sterotyped way and say offensive things. People got really angry and offended by her and would lash out at her, but the thing is she wasn't doing it to harm anyone, it was a part of her schizophrenia. Once her schizophrenia symptoms we're back under control she understood that people had been offended and felt bad. So yeah. It's easy to just become offended but sometimes there's a lot more going on and the people really need treatment, not hatred.
For me it is hard to understand what is going on in their minds. BIID seems to be a severe mental illness.
People affected by this really need psychiatric assistance and treatment, whatever this might look like.
For me I am never dreaming of myself being disabled.
In my dreams I am walking around like I used to be able to many years ago.
Try to find out more about this lady. I would love to see how she is doing today! Thanks for sharing this 🙏❤️😍😘
Psychiatric help doesn't work.
There is only one cure known.
To get the disability
I’m an ambulatory wheelchair user who can bring my chair up or down stairs on my own if I have to, it’s not good for me but it can be done. When I walk I can even look pretty normal and “effortless”, but what people don’t see is the aftermath when I’m in tears from pain because something may have partially dislocated mid step while walking, or the movements irritated areas that are very prone to cause a lot of pain and/or inflammation (I have big issues with bursitis in my hips for example and instability in SI joints and everywhere else due to Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome)
As someone living with a disability that has taken away a lot from me, I have to admit I feel torn when it comes to BIID, on one hand, people suffering with BIID have my support when it comes to getting help to manage their condition, but on the other hand I’m not sure how ethical it would be to do actual medical procedures on these people so they get the disability they identify with. Some compare it to someone who’s transgender but I don’t think it’s fully comparable either as the main thing the two have in common is dysphoria over something. In relation very little is known about BIID compared to transgender as well. I would like there to be more research in the field to help these people more effectively to find ways to manage their condition and preferably without any self harming or unethical procedures. Few realize until it’s “too late” how inaccessible the society actually is if you aren’t at least ambulatory or have at least some vision for example, or how much issues can be involved with a prosthetic limb (footless Jo is a good example there) so while someone with BIID may get something from becoming disabled, they may also face issues they could have never imagined having to deal with.
If it’s enough for someone with BIID to use a mobility aid or white cane to feel less dysphoria then fine, it’s not harming anyone (including themselves) but people harming themselves or having doctor perform utterly questionable procedures is worrying... If using paraplegia as an example, someone may be totally certain about their wish to become one, but even if they’re using a wheelchair like the woman in the video, they probably just can’t even imagine what it would really be like to have no other option of getting around, and paraplegia is so much more than just using a wheelchair as it can involve nerve pain, spasticity, risk of pressure sores, bladder and bowel involvement with higher risk of UTI’s and so on and so forth.
Even I can’t imagine what life is like for a paraplegic as I am ambulatory, I can stand up and walk past an obstacle, it hurts but can be done and that’s something I value greatly even though I consider walking overrated due to the pain and fatigue it causes. But at least having the option to means a lot!
So yeah, I’m torn... Is it right of us as a society to let someone live with severe dysphoria over something with the risk of them harming themselves and others over it? But is it right to maybe fix this persons dysphoria but then give him or her issues that they may not have foreseen and that may be more life altering than the dysphoria was? It’s a tricky situation... I do wish it had a simple answer so people could live happily without facing prejudice or completely life altering situations that may have been more than someone expected...
Rey Of Light Hello there Rey! A fellow disabled (POTS, EDS, etc) transman here!
The word for BIID (and body dysmorphia) is, dysmorphia, not dysphoria.
Dysphoria means a general dissatisfaction with life, whereas dysmorphia is when you have issues with body image or in this case, limbs. Though I guess it could be considered dysphoria in certain ways as it could be seen as a “dissatisfaction with life” due to not being disabled
I’m not too informed on BIID, but I am with gender dysphoria (the requirement to be trans) :)
The difference in my opinion is that, I don’t think people with BIID should change or modify their body in a way that could be harmful as that is destructive behavior, cutting off a limb is not the same as changing your gender in my opinion.
With gender dysphoria, which I’ll just call GD, it is a chemical imbalance in your brain and thusly is labeled as a mental illness. The imbalance is that in the womb a person develops a certain brain in the opposite body, like for me a males brain in a female body. Transitioning is a necessity because without it I would go to extreme measures due to my discomfort.
Now while you can say that someone with BIID also experiences discomfort and would like to go to extreme measures, BIID seems to be rooted in some sort of self hatred or trauma- whereas being transgender is a biological thing.
I may be wrong on this but I feel like the only way to “cure” someone with BIID, since it isn’t a natural/biological thing, would be intensive therapy and maybe they can get the equipment they want and slowly work their way towards being functional- sort of like someone who is partially paralyzed gaining function again if that makes sense?
I really hope that BIID gets more research into it, I find it fascinating but sad.
One part of me is like; people should have complete bodily autonomy and have the freedom to do whatever they do please with their body. At the same time though I don’t think that getting rid or injuring limbs is a “cure” and what if the person ends up hooked and just, wants everything gone?
So while I believe in bodily autonomy I still just view it as people hurting themselves who have BIID and I don’t think the treatment or what would solve it is getting the injury they want but other methods.
Sorry for rambling a bit I’m just very much interested in this sorta thing! I hope you have a lovely day :)
Broseph Tails I’m just not very good with the very complicated words lol Believe it or not, English isn’t my first language or even an official second language for me :) But I believe you’re right about transgender vs BIID. I have transgender friends who have transitioned from one gender to the other, to physically be their real self, and none of them had anything done out of attention, in fact I didn’t even know they were born anything else than the man or woman I know them as today and they prefer it that way because they are who they are today and kinda want to forget what gender they were physically born with. I once met a MTF person who felt so bad about having male genitals that she just wanted to go to the kitchen and remove it herself, thankfully she didn’t and from what I heard she started hormones not too long after I met her (it was a friend of a friend) I don’t know how she’s doing today as my friend moved and we lost contact, but from what I heard the transgender friend was feeling happier once on hormones. I don’t know how much she choose to do transition wise, but I do hope she’s happier today than all those years ago when I met her.
I’m straight and cis myself, but I am an ally to the LGBTQ+ community!
BIID is really so much more complicated in a sense, and I do hope more research will be done so there can be better support and safer ways to treat affected individuals. As for BIID claiming benefits or not, I don’t really mind. BIID is probably just as disabling in its own way, as the physical disability that a BIID affected individual is (for lack of better word) fantasizing about, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the BIID alone has someone on at least some percentage of disability benefits. Any type of mental illness can be just as disabling and life altering as something purely physical...
Rey Of Light
I was actually just diagnosed with EDS
I’m only thirteen and have to get braces put on my legs
How did you deal with the diagnosis I was diagnosed Wednesday so I’m still kind of in shock a bit so knowing that they are people who actually have EDS kinda helps me except it
Isabel Meadows I got my diagnose in 2012 just before I turned 27, so I’ve been around for a while. A sad relief is the best way I can describe the feeling when I got my diagnose at last, sad because I am indeed chronically ill with a condition that may or may not worsen with time (for me it’s been getting worse for almost 10 years now) but it was a relief to have answers and have it confirmed that it wasn’t something in my head but an actual physical ailment. Hope that makes sense. You’re still young, and hence have a much better chance to make better choices than I had as I had no idea about my EDS until so much later in life. I’ve done things that are really not good for our joints, I just didn’t know that what happened to me wasn’t normal. Make sure you accept aid that can help you in daily life, it truly does make things so much easier than if being stubborn and suffering because you refuse to use that pen grip or knee brace or mobility aid or whatever out of vanity. Don’t let kids bully you if you need something that they don’t, own it instead and make it a part of you! There are so many things you can do to customize a brace or mobility aid to fit your personality better. Take my AFO’s for example, they’re with zebra pattern because just black or semi transparent plastic would be boring, so I asked if I could have a pattern on them lol Don’t be afraid to tell teachers if you need to go and rest for a little while, or need to pass on something in PE class because it’s not working for you and causes pain. I know it can be difficult to be “different” when young, but consider yourself unique instead and own the situation. But the main thing is, don’t be afraid, hold your head high, and it’s never a failure to need to wear a brace or use mobility aid or a pen grip or what have you, all those things are a way to fight back. Listening to your body and actually accepting to maybe need to use a wheelchair from time to time, opens a whole new world of possibilities and opportunities compared to if you refuse despite a need, and get maybe stuck at home instead, or struggle more than necessary at school or with other things. I’d be more than happy to be around as a bit of support if you have questions or feel worried about something or just feel you need to talk with someone who knows what it’s like to live with EDS.
@@softsnailsings5460 hey, I'm a junior doctor in the UK with EDS and have other friends who are doctors and OTs with it. I'm a part time wheelchair user and work part time too lol, total part timer! Partly because my job requires a lot of mobilising I use wheelchair but also as then I can do more w less pain & actually do some physio. My top advice to you is to once you do some initial processing, always look for a way to do what you need want and love, adapt, slow or get aid if it makes it possible. I'm always trying new things - right now the 'thing' is compression athletic wear to give my joints some support & maybe hopefully reduce epic muscle pain I get after longer shifts & bursitis etc. My hips were subluxing lots when I was diagnosed but with hydrotherapy (water supports joints!) I got my hip muscles stronger & hips stabler. It's been a long while since it happened!! Progress :)) Find the things to make you feel better or will help tackle your key symptom or instability. It is hard but some ppl will talk soley about degenerative and progressive - not about stuff that might and does (for lots but not all, important to acknowledge) help & can improve things. I also have braces, finally got donjoy forcepoint ones - tried so many to get the right fit. I don't like the way they impact what I can wear but they do reduce pain and subluxs!
It is really refreshing to hear your take on this and that it isn't just negativity. I watched several documentaries (including this one) about BIID and instead of anger, I was fascinated. The mind is such a strange thing and you can tell people with BIID genuinely feel the way they feel and are not simply malingering or attempting to cheat a system. What is particularly amazing about this condition is that once the person has achieved their goal, they no longer suffer from mental distress! It makes me wonder if it is more neurological than psychological and I think it was mentioned by the late Oliver Sacks whose interest and expertise was in neurology. I am only going to say one thing, the part where she pushes the wheelchair down the steps, I can (and do) push or carry my wheelchair down steps occasionally but that is because my condition (dystonia) causes pain if I walk too much, so I can walk quite a bit and get out of my chair to push it and yes, I do get a LOT of looks from people lol.
Personally, my OCD was caused by anxiety from another medical condition I have, so when I do my routines and rituals, it makes me feel like I’m in control of my life again because I’ve had so much freedom taken away from me.
I love Footless Jo’s channel! I came the other way - found you through her!
About the car accident thing. Usually when I imagine myself getting into a crash it's usually a tree or a wall I rarely ever imagine hitting another car
The thing that concerns me the most is that being genuinely disabled would almost definitely not be the idealised experience that she has in her mind. I think maybe she should try living without using her legs at all for a set period of time to see what it’s like when she can’t just get up and walk as soon as it gets inconvenient. No more fun things like skiing, no ability to go anywhere that isn’t accessible even if that means being unable to leave or get around her own house!
I have a progressive disability and even though I’d lived with a disabled mother all my life and worked with disabled kids, it was still a shock how much I didn’t understand of what disability is really like when my disability actually got bad enough to put me in a wheelchair and each stage that took more away from me. I’m 100% sure that if this woman got her ‘dream disability’ (which is unlikely anyway coz if she manages to disable herself, even if it’s by the operation she wants, bodies are unreliable things. If it’s by an accident then even more so she could land up with anything, possibly very different from the disability she specifically wants) then living with it permanently 24/7 with all the ways it effects your body and life and no exceptions or reprieves, she would find it very different to what it is like in her mind!
I can identify with your reply. I am still chewing on all the info so far. I would trade any day with her and she can learn to self catheter before the freedom of skiing or not having to rely on a P.C.A. to transport her and than maybe I would be more patient. I pray she doesn't follow through and she gets the necessary Mental health help she needs. I actually got a stomach ache from the clip and so now it's time for me to reboot and restart my own positive attitude on the whole thing. Thank you so much for sharing so eloquently, I really appreciated it. Have a awesome day. 😊✌
SarahSmiles 420 I’m sorry you identify with what I said but thank you for your response to my comment. It’s hard to know how to react to things like this isn’t it. I also really hope she is able to be helped with mental health support and doesn’t get what she thinks she needs. From what I understand, the success rate of helping people with this mental condition is not great.
It’s definitely a lot more complex than them just wanting a disability, is the thing. I don’t have BIID, but I suffer from body dysmorphia and have struggled with anorexia my whole life. I won’t pretend my eating disorder is a physical disability, per se, but at the height of my eating problems I was seriously limiting what I could do physically. I looked absolutely skeletal, would faint regularly, couldn’t do any physical activity really, couldn’t look at food, couldn’t stand for too long, couldn’t use the restroom without intense laxatives, my stomach always ached in a way that I really can’t describe. It was... not fun. But as someone suffering with really severe body image issues, I didn’t care? I wanted to be thinner and, at some level, be more sick. I would have willingly sacrificed anything-*anything*-to be the weight I wanted. The thoughts I had were agonizing, way more so than any hunger pains or body aches from the starvation, and I would’ve taken any measures necessary to get them out of my head. The only way I knew to do it, at that time, was to fit myself into the image I had in my head. I know girls who gave themselves tapeworms to lose weight, who shrunk their stomach to lose weight, knew through a friend a girl who died slicing off the parts of her body she thought looked bulky.
So you’re talking about it as though “oh, they think a disability is all sunshine and rainbows” but, in all likelihood, they don’t-they just think all the suffering you described would be better than the mental anguish they currently face. Whether or not that’s true is something I’m not willing to make a call on, because I don’t want to start a “mY pAiN iS woRsE ThAN yOurS” competition, but I just want to give some insight into what someone with this condition might be feeling.
@@moosessurus8172 i agree. I know it came a stupid teen saying. To say "I cut so I can feel something" stuff like that but, I started really self harming a few years ago in my 30s as a way of dealing with grief, anxiety, depression, despair and all kinds of negative emotions. When I was hurting myself through burning or making myself bleed, it was like I was getting a little pause from the pain and everything inside and could focus just on the pain of my skin. The disorders sound gross for both of us but really, self harm and eating disorders are about releasing the indescribable pain inside into something we can describe and makes our body feel the way our heads do. I hope you continue to stay healthy and have a good relationship with food. For me it had been quite a while since i have intentionally self harmed or felt the need.
Its so nice to see someone comment on it in an understanding way not just judgemental. Very appreciated.
Usually lack of attention giving when they are children , they would fake pain or wish for it to be loved or desired more
And you know this because you are a psychologist?
CindelMa I studied phycology at a-level and 1st year degree but ultimately choose business , it’s a really interesting disorder at first I found it hard to deal with being a partial chair user and having many life threatening conditions myself, I was angry that people would want to live that way but studying this and munchousin really was an eye opener the brain really is incredibly complex.
CindelMa lol Get recct
Florencia Allimant the person replied saying “I took psych classes in high school and for like a year in college”, girl doesn’t know jack shit 😂 how did anyone get “rekt” lmaoooo
Florencia Allimant also, the explanation she gave is complete bullshit. The cause of BIID is unknown and a subject of a LOT of debate and research. The theory she gave is one of them, but it’s not even the main theory and acting like that’s the “usual” cause is a load of shit since no one is sure yet what it’s rooted in.
Gem - BIID is a recognised condition. If we as Disabled people want others to accept us as we are, then it is up to us to do the same for others whose condition we may find challenging or counterintuitive. As to the question of whether a self-inflicted injury would qualify you for benefits, the answer is yes. Talk to TH-camr Anya Darlow, a young woman who became paralysed when she tried to take her own life during a deep depression. She "came out" about it a while ago, after subscribers asked how she became paralysed. It was very brave of her to do it, when she wasn't obliged to.
PageMonster do you think it matters that she wasn’t trying to disable herself though? Since with Anya (love her to death) it was actually a suicide attempt? Just wondering!
@@nicolemarie3645 Never try to guess what a government paper pusher will decide.
Thank you for your care and compassion, I have OCD and just want to make some corrections.
FIrst, and most important: Mental illness often happens alone, with no traumatic trigger, it can be genetic, or just bad luck. I am not denying that trauma can trigger, or even cause, mental illness, because it can, but to automatically assume it can be harmful. My parents were scared to get me help because they were afraid they would be blamed, and by many people they actually were, people thought it was bad parenting, that I was acting out because of a lack of discipline, which was not true. My parents were sweet, devoted, and loving, but here I was, shouting about baddies with guns in the walls. They didn't even let me watch violent movies, and i live in a country with gun control, there was no basis in reality for my fears. In my case it was genetic, no one hurt me, I was simply born this way.
Second not everybody with OCD has tidyness or cleanliness compulsions, many do, but a lot of us don't. It's characterised by compulsions, rituals, and the anxiety we get if we don't or can't do them, not by a need to be neat or clean. I had the worst case of OCD the child mental health services in my area had ever seen, and not a single cleaning or tidying ritual.
Third yes, we feel relief from doing our compulsions, but it's not a happy feeling, it's not a 'drinking a cold glass of lemonade on a hot day, releif. It's more a you have twenty assignments due in the same week, you haven't started them, and if you fail a single one you will get kicked out of you accomodation and your family won't speak to you for a year, and your just got the first one done, relief. It's a desperate, drowning, necessary relief.
Fourth, help and therapy are not miracles, just like physical medicine they work for some, but not for others. It took me years to get my OCD under control, I was so lucky to get the help I needed, not everyone is so lucky. Here child mental health services are good, and adult ones are not. I have several other mental illnesses that I have not had as good results with. Therapy can absolutely help, in OCD it can actually change the brain and you can become, not completely cured, but almost. Which I have achieved. But not every condition responds that way. Help is good, but not necessarily a cure,
Just wanted to say thanks again for the compassion, I don't have BIID, but as a multiply disabled, chronically ill and mentally ill person, the comments were breaking my heart. Too often mental illness is not treated as 'real' like physical illness is, which is not the case at all. And the comments were treating it like she was making a choice, or seaking attention, which is not my experience of mental illness at all
I have OCD and nothing makes me more angry than people posting about how they like having a clean house so they have "such bad" OCD. OCD isnt doing the dishes, it's doing them for three hours because something in your gut says they aren't clean enough. Its biting your nails until they bleed because they aren't perfectly smooth. Its picking at a cut on your skin until its 5x the size. It's not know why you do any of them. Its knowing it hurts but you just cant stop because if you dont you feel like you're drowning. It's not fun or quirky, its isolating and depressing.
I’m in a wheelchair full - time as I have CP. I’m not sure weather I find this offensive or if I feel sorry for her. I don’t find being in a wheelchair fun at all. It’s difficult living in a world that is simply not built for disabled people.
This is the first video of yours I've seen and I absolutely love how empathetic and understanding you are for the people suffering with BIID
The compassion that you have! That's wonderful.
I don't have physical disabilities but I have a lot of trauma-based conditions like cptsd and severe anxiety. If someone were to be genuinely convinced they NEEDED to have what I have, or to have gone through what I went through, for them to feel complete as a human being, I would feel incredibly sorry and concerned for them, and do everything I could to push them to get help. It is not a whole life, living with this. So I would say that to want to be physically disabled in some way, that badly, is not a targeted act of mockery toward people who really have that condition, it's clearly either rooted in trauma, or it's a brain development/connections issue. Either way, it is definitely a disorder.
i love how gracefully you are talking about this. i watched another video (i can’t remember the name) where the reviewer was disrespectful. they said the woman (who had suffered so much from biid that she blinded herself) was threatening the blind community for some reason or another.
i have never dealt with something like this, but i do have another disorder that is often overlooked and i have been told to suck it up because other people have it worse. having a mental disorders is not a competition, all disorders should be taken seriously and offering help and an attempt to understand is so much better than denouncing their problems just because someone else has it worse
I was very impressed with the way you handled this. It sounds really similar to a form of body dysmorphia to do with being disabled. I'm trans and have gender dysphoria and it sound similar in the respect people would ask you do you want to transition and it's not that I want to transition it's that I have to. For example it sounds similar with her feeling the need to have surgery in the same respect I feel the need to have surgery even though there isn't any physical medical reason either of us need it. I came onto this video (not really knowing your channel) expecting for you to say she is undermining the experience of disabled people or that she shouldn't act like this and just get over herself but you didn't and I was very pleasantly surprised.
I love that you actually treated this seriously - I too am a wheelie (in a chair for 31 of my 41 years), and I often wonder about some of these disorders. I don’t find it offensive, more concerning. I also wonder if she would be “made whole” (for wont of a better term) by this surgery, if it would actually satisfy her. Would she then need more?
P.S I never use a chair in my dreams - which led to much discussion in high school psychology classes!
I find the not dreaming about being in a wheelchair fascinating. I have only become significantly disabled by POTS/EDS/MCAS/AAU by in the past two years and I’ve noticed now that if I feel helpless in my dreams it’s because I will suddenly have a flare up of my symptoms (in the dream) and be unable to walk from fatigue and/or faintness. And then in the dream I become more endangered because my body failed me again. But I always used to be that person who used to have the teeth-falling-our dreams too. So I guess it’s about being out of control?
I just find it interesting that in my dreams, I am disabled, but that someone who is unable to walk is able to walk in their dreams. The human mind is fascinating!
as someone who is an ambulatory wheelchair user, it hurts me deep down to see these people do this for multiple reasons.
1- i struggled with crippling mental illnesses for a LONG time, i could barely leave the house, maintain relationships, maintain my hygiene, etc. i understand the stress of feeling like something isnt right- but it WONT. she will not feel better, she'll want more.
2- my illnesses took my life from me. i felt like i was living "past my expiration date", or just using my parents money. i fought everyday to be believed by doctors that my pain, fatigue, and symptoms were real.
3- these people make us look like fakers. they make us look like we're wrongly utilizing the accomodations in place for disabled people. it makes *me* feel like crap for not being able bodied.
i want her to be able to get help, for her own good, and for the good of our community.
I love how compassionate you are to this lady. She clearly has serious issues and needs medical/professional help and care to help her resolve this. My beautiful girlfriend was unfortunately paralyzed from her waist down in a serious car accident 4 years ago. We have been together for just over a year. She has done amazing and shown remarkable strength and has adapted so well, but the journey has been so hard and painful for her both physically and emotionally. I don’t believe anyone who is in a normal state of mind would want to be paralyzed and actually try to make it happen. I found it very upsetting as I have seen how hard it can be for my girlfriend I just cannot fathom why anyone would want this to happen and to actually try to make it happen. I hope this lady gets the help she so desperately needs.
Before I became a full time wheelchair user, I use to get my wheelchair out of the car etc on my own. I always, ALWAYS felt like people would be judging me. Questioning why I had a wheelchair when I could still at that point walk. Now that I am a fulltime wheelchair user, I HATE it, and truly believe that anyone who wants to be in a wheelchair really does need psychological help as there is NOTHING fun about it. For me having known what it is like to be able to walk, if I was given the choice to walk again or to remain in my wheelchair I would 1000000% + definitely choose to be able to walk.
Ps, I'm new to your channel. I've been subscribe8of "Footless Jo" for a good whole though and I love Barcroft!!
Thank you for your understanding, I have BIID but don’t talk about it because I’m afraid of peoples judgement, but your understanding really makes me happy
Dr. Michael First, who was one of the chief architects of the DSM V and has conducted a bit of research into BIID, has said that it seems like it exists, but when it has a sexual element or something else that usually rules out the diagnosis. The Neuroscientist V.S. Ramachandran has done some interesting research into the condition. He originally began working to help treat phantom pain in amputees and reasoned that the somatosensory cortex (the brain’s own map of the body) was out of alignment with its physical body. He reasoned that the pain might arise from the brain looking for something that is no longer there.
In BIID, which he has also researched, he reasoned that the opposite was occurring. The body was complete but the brain was not. He related to a brain injured man he had seen who suffered from Capgras’ Delusion. The man had an injury to his somatosensory cortex and had an unshakeable belief that the entirely healthy arm on his body was not his and wanted it removed.
There is still more research that needs to be done, and BIID is not currently in the DSM V. We’ll see what comes of later editions.
Very interesting! I have crps which isna neurological pain disorder (in short). My left arm is affected and my brain sees my arm as still healing from an accident 9 years ago so it's still sending the pain message to protect me. One of the therapies used to help is mirror therapy. They use it for amputees too. Tries to help the brain to see a healthy limb again.
This was a really great reaction to this. Fair for both sides. Thank you for being so equal and not just judging people for having this conditions 😌
WHO IS LETTING THIS PERSON DRIVE A CAR?
Right???
I’ve seen the one about the blind woman. As a legally blind person myself, I could not believe that someone would actually want this struggle in their lives. There’s people who are mad or depressed about losing their vision, some hoping for a cure for whatever they have, yet there’s people out there harming themselves on purpose. I understand that it’s a disorder, but that’s still terrible.
You don't believe there are? But you heard her, she did blind herself bcs she wanted to and claims to be happy with the result so.. obviously there are. I hate to think that's the only solution but still that proves there are
Thank you for actually being kind and empathetic, and realizing its a pyschological disorder!
Thank you for this, so often we see people jumping straight to hate or distasteful ideas when doing a reaction. You so clearly are listening to her and thinking of how she feels and not only how she acts. Super refreshing you are so genuinely good :)
I really love how compassionate and kind you are about this.
Sounds like they definitely need some mental counseling. I am only part time due to severe neuropathy limiting my balance and ability to stand for long periods. 8 wished I could reverse it.
Gem you’re such a kind and caring person. I am too quick to judge and condemn the people, you have shown me I need to have some compassion.
Thank you for treating this with such compassion. So many people just write it off as attention seeking or being idiotic. Im not a wheelchair user but ive got my own disabilities (mental and physical) and ive never been offended by people with this disorder because like you said, theyre really suffering. Especially with such little research into treating this disorder. I hope this womans doing better, whether she became paraplegic or not.
You are the first person I have seen respond to Chloe’s video this way, not in a mean and nasty way. Chloe is a really sweet, kind woman. That story really did not do a great job at laying out her life and all her real struggles. But really, is someone who has BIID, or in other words is transabled any different than someone who is transgender?
Something that this story did not touch on is the number of people with BIID who are truly disabled but see themselves, or believe that they should be much more disabled. For example, I have a friend who has cerebral palsy who believes that she should be a vent dependent quad. Of course, I think a lot of these people are the ones who are stuck between lives; they are disabled enough that they don’t really fit into the able bodied community, but their disability is mild enough that they don’t really fit into the disabled community. And while there is minimal chance of becoming more abled, increasing their disability level seems more viable.
In the end, what is really important is that we don’t judge anyone who is not comfortable in their own body.
First time viewer and the way you reacted to this was amazing. Most people would have made fun of her or become mad and infuriated. You're wonderful!
I’m amazed by your empathy! Your approach was so gentle and heartfelt! You are such a gem! My heart hurts for her. I struggle with an eating disorder and it’s the only thing I can think of at times until I engage with behaviors and then for a moment, I get relief so in a way I kinda believe her.
You are seriously so compassionate. This video made me think differently about people with BIID and overall warmed my heart.
She shouldn't be allowed to keep her driving license she is a danger to others and herself she does need psychiatrist help
You’re kindness is amazing. Even though the topic was troubling, your compassion was a nice bit a sunshine today!
I love how your reaction is one of compasion and not disdain ❤️
Saying that people with BIID "want to be disabled" or "wish they had [disability]" is oversimplifying to a dangerous degree. The mechanism driving the condition is unknown, but the leading hypothesis is sort of a 'reverse phantom limb' where your mental map of your body is missing a body part that you actually have. Whatever the cause these folks are living in a body that their nervous system can't cope with normally and the mental health issues are an outgrowth of that issue with their nervous system
I didn‘t expect you to react this „positive“. Thank you for giving me another perspective. I think you have a beautiful soul and heart!💕
Holy smokes, that is just completely bonkers. Gem, you are a very kind-hearted person to even try to see things through this woman's perspective.
Yours is a very compassionate take on this woman's obvious mental health issues. I am with you on worrying about her being a risk to others when she drives. I think she should not be allowed to drive until she is able to not obsess about having an accident. To be in one may well put others in danger or worse. Whether she is a risk to herself is a whole other aspect of this but touches on her own right to choose how to treat her body (goodness knows many people engage in unhealthy and risky behaviors...). However putting others as serious risk is taking away the right of others. She deserves kindness and help, as do others who may be in the path of her car...
We read an article earlier in the week about this same woman - we noticed it kept highlighting the fact that she wanted to paralyse her legs but it wasn't clear if she realises that there are so many other consequences to a SCI besides not being able to use your legs? I wasn't really aware of any of the other problems until I was paralysed myself and at first I thought not being able to walk would be the worst thing but now I'd say that's the easiest thing about having a SCI!
What freaked me out is that she mentioned a sciatic nerve transfection, which is a pretty common model for chronic pain in research...i wonder if she knows how much pain she would be in...
This is way worse than cutting. It's very severe self harm.
Thanks very much for introducing the FFORA products! The attachment system and cup holder are wonderful helps for the wheelchair.
I am an incomplete quadriplegic with C4-7 T6-7 and L1-5. I don't know what the charm is to be disabled. There is no glamour in wearing diapers having a motorized wheelchair, and not having much independence. This woman needs some serious hospitalization to do in depth therapy.
As a psychology student, to answer your question about OCD, yes. In a way there is definitely a sense of relief since the purpose of a compulsion (intensely organizing, as you put it) is to stop an obsession. Therefore, whenever intrusive thoughts as a result of an obsession return, one who suffers with OCD will act upon a compulsion in order to "satisfy" it. Compulsions would be considered a type of maladaptive behavior (an action that is destructive or harmful to oneself or others but is used as a coping mechanism) basically. I hope that helps!
You are so compassionate considering the situation. I have a genetic disorder that has really limited and changed my life and I couldn’t help being a little salty about her, but after hearing and watching your view on it, I can say I have a different more open outlook toward her condition. Keep being such a wonderful hearted person ❤️
I find this super interesting to watch! I’m visually impaired and did feel offended by the woman who blinded herself. Like, I believe them. I believe that she’s telling the truth. I believe that she does feel that need. But in my opinion, choice is the ultimate issue that separates the equal from the unequal.
For example, I’m not upset that I don’t drive. Lots of people don’t drive. I’m upset because I CAN’T drive. That dictates where I can live, when/where I can travel, how safe I am on a commute, etc. i didn’t choose to take an Uber knowing the risks and accepting them; I was forced to either take an Uber or miss my very important doctor’s appointment.
In this case, I find that they have the choice to be able-bodied and then choose to be disabled frustrating. And I find it offensive when that woman who blinded herself claims that she’s like any other blind person, because she’s not. I find it offensive that the woman in this video could step down those stairs then get back into that wheelchair and get claim that she is paralyzed. This could be a bad comparison and I’m sorry if it offends anyone, but it feels like the disability equivalent to blackface. It feels like these people are mocking me, however unintentionally.
I'm glad you didn't just outright dismiss the condition which I think would be a easy response. I see this in a similar way I view the transgender community. For what ever reason the know that their body doesn't reflect their true self and the anxiety that causes can be destructive if they don't change themselves to reflect their true self. With any of these issues is how can I help you (legally of course) to be your best self? And how will you be the best part of society you can be? Like you said she is potentially putting other people at risk when driving because she wants to be paralysed.
I really love how you approached this. It is so easy to go into defence mode in situations like this but I really love that you approach it with so much empathy and from their perspective.
What a beautiful video, so thoughtful and considerate toward what the persons going through rather than being ultra negative the whole way through. I’m paraplegic and I find parts of this lady’s struggles fascinating.
Definitely subscribing to you. You're a breath of fresh air compared to all of the angry commentors who don't try to research or understand why they are doing this.
Hello! As someone who has OCD, it is very much a vicious cycle. Doing the routines, or “rituals”, provide a lot of comfort and relief. I have contamination OCD, and when I wash my hands multiple times in a row it makes me feel better because I feel as though I am now “clean”. It’s very hard to break the cycle because doing the rituals brings a short reprieve from the stress and anxiety associated with OCD.
Up until I saw this video truthfully this lady made me so angry. I feel bad about that now. I never thought of it as a mental illness but you’re 100% right about it.
I have multiple chronic conditions - including mental health issues. I have to say, I was extremely neglected as a child. The only time I got attention from my parents was when I was sick or injured. I spent time in and out of the hospital as a child due to a couple illnesses. As a result of all this, I'm extremely comfortable in hospitals, don't have any problems with needles, medical procedures, and I get comfort from the cleaning supply smells that match hospital sanitizers. It always surprises me when people are afraid of or refuse to go to a hospital. They are my safe place.
I wonder if these people have similar things in their past. Severe neglect and abuse can damage and rewire the brain. Some results are more extreme than others. While I have never wanted to purposefully hurt myself in any way to cause a permanent injury, I *have* had instances in my childhood where I was happy to catch the flu or stomach viruses, because it meant someone might tell me they love me or care about me in some form.
I love how you are positive and not judgemental 💗💗 great example of how we should strive to be
I discovered footless jo literally yesterday and only just found you
I'm happy that you didn't just trash her. You're such a great person to empathize and wish her to get help.
This is a mental illness. These people don't deserve all the hate.
I love how respectful you are while reacting to this video
I have never heard of this condition, but it is interesting and does need more awareness. I also wonder how many people may suffer from it. I personally am a fully able bodied person, but have often wondered what it would be like to be a wheelchair user or paralyzed but would never think to go that far. If I had the opportunity to do the experiments you and your husband have done, like him going shopping in a wheelchair, I would give it a go, but that glimpse into your daily life, and doesn't show all the "benefits" (if one can say there may be) or more often the struggles of your lives. Thank you for sharing your lives to the world.
I agree with you that I don't think it's so much about being offensive to people who actually have disabilities (that they did not choose) but I think it's about raising awareness about BIID (which I'd never heard of) and getting those people the help they need. I love your outlook and attitude.
My grandfather has been paraplegic for 9 years now. It is really hard on him and our family. When people plan to get hurt for attention or like the lady in the video it does make me feel upset because once you become paraplegic there isn’t really a way I know you could reverse it. He has to have caretakers come to his house that for some god darn reason don’t even have a license for whatever it is. It isn’t fun as a family member perspective because we have to drop everything to help him if a caretaker doesn’t show up or my grandmother isn’t feeling great. I really hope that woman finds happiness though!
You are a beautiful person & beautiful soul. Im so sorry that theres people out there that idealize such a tragic thing. Its so amazing that you are such a successful person and you inspire me to keep on keeping on- It feels like I just want to give up sometimes
the past life concept is an interesting idea and I agree. I have been told before that it seems like In my past life I died in a state of panic through an accident. So the life I am in now has made me live with constant nervous energy and thoughts of being so afraid to die because of never getting that peace in the last life.
My brother has muscular dystrophy and he always asks my parents when he stopped walking. He wishes to walk again but sadly there is no cure for him..
People often give arguments such as "disabled people envy able-bodied people", but simultaneously, people with BIID dream of being disabled and envy disabled people. It's the same, but reversed. Say someone had an extra foot on their leg, that would be a major advantage to their balance and such. But even though that extra foot is beneficial, that person doesn't feel like it's normal and wants it gone. In the same way, people with BIID feel like a part of their body isn't how it should be, or shouldn't even be there at all. In people with BIID, the brain doesn't see a certain body part or function as part of the body or its systems. It sees it as abnormal and wants it gone.
Thank you for handling this with sensitivity. I am disabled (in daily agony and struggle to walk and do everything else with basically f$%ked hips (lots of diagnoses)) and as there is nothing to see apart from my crutches and I am relatively young I get the usual comments etc. I have spent time in a wheelchair post OP (luckily only temporary so far) and have had many many operations to try to improve my situation. Again, I can't imagine someone wanting to be in a wheelchair and find it odd that she says she gets relief from being in the chair, but also relief from things like skiing. She should try living completely in a chair for at least a year to see what some of the reality is, no getting out and walking, no skiing etx. As you say a bigger concern is the doing things to harm herself that could kill her and even worse harm or even kill others. This is clearly incredibly complicated and I hope she gets the help she needs and that no doctor agrees to perform this surgery.
When you mentioned about getting "relief" and you had said about OCD. Quite honestly i do feel relief when I'm "in control" following my rituals and organisation stuff. Same with my
Eating Disorder i feel much more relief from my food urges when I'm "in control" managing my calories, maintaining my weight etc.
As for BIID I cant say i have it but i could relate to the lady and her thoughts around stuff in childhood, i always wanted to break a bone etc, not quite the same i know but now i look back on it and feel kind of stupid but i still have these thoughts about wanting to break a bone. It was so bad at one point that i tried to do it myself.
I have OCD as well. A lot of these disorders seem to have common elements. If she feels there is something "wrong" about her body and has intrusive thoughts, then it seems "rational" to engage in compulsions/rituals that can correct or ameliorate what feels wrong. The brain tries hard to protect us, but it can do so in incredibly unique and yet dysfunctional/maladaptive ways. No matter what, we all deserve compassionate understanding and dignity.
@@notes_to_elle8664 yeah like my anxiety behaviour of avoidance provided short term relief and felt like the good option but only worked short term
As a person with cerebral palsy when I first came a cross this story I was confused. I really hope she finds happiness before anything drastic happens
The OCD thing- Yes, whenever I feel "triggered"(?) And feel out of control it makes me feel immensely relieved, almost like I could cry from how much better I feel. It also exhausts you much like how I imagine being stuck in a wheelchair might exhaust you mentally and physically
This was the best reaction I've seen to this condition, thank you for acknowledging that it is actually a serious mental health condition, not just someone being extremely attention seeking.
I'm so glad how calm you are. The mental condition is something I've heard of. The condition gives people the incredibly strong desire to be disabled to be themselves. I'm pretty sure once the disability is fulfilled it helps but I'd have to do more research to fully understand