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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 2.3K

  • @swap6984
    @swap6984 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3643

    “Collects engagement rings likes she’s Thanos”
    I peccen love that

    • @enigmatixthecringechampion5004
      @enigmatixthecringechampion5004 5 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      ...
      PECK

    • @TheDaxter11
      @TheDaxter11 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      damn, shes a peck neck alright

    • @saulmoment4008
      @saulmoment4008 5 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      Ah yes, with the five engagement rings assembled.
      *Snap
      Half of your property is gone now

    • @justinl2009
      @justinl2009 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@TheDaxter11 Absolute. Peck. Necks.

    • @logansanders9307
      @logansanders9307 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@saulmoment4008 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @NintendoNerd64
    @NintendoNerd64 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2573

    “Gay people have a lot of drama”
    *large explosion of text*

    • @kiamosky4340
      @kiamosky4340 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      Maybe she’s closeted

    • @judahc7586
      @judahc7586 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@kiamosky4340 The Aunt literally says "you gay people" I. I'm pretty sure they are pretty openly gay.

    • @kiamosky4340
      @kiamosky4340 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Judah C I’m talking about the aunt

    • @judahc7586
      @judahc7586 4 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      @@kiamosky4340 Ah. That. Makes sense. I will leave my first comment as a grim reminder of my lack of understanding,

    • @tmp1615
      @tmp1615 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Aight ima not be the guy who ruins the 666 likes

  • @Betta66
    @Betta66 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3501

    If "Murder By Words" was an actual criminal charge, Marshall would probably be a death row inmate for naming an album "Noot Noot Toaster Suit."

    • @W.H.V.
      @W.H.V. 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Wii

    • @nikitamalikov6683
      @nikitamalikov6683 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      He did it?
      that crazy man
      he actually did it

    • @hudde814
      @hudde814 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@nikitamalikov6683 *mad lad

    • @Ribbons0121R121
      @Ribbons0121R121 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      why

    • @steegosaurus
      @steegosaurus 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ribbons0121 R121 just because

  • @frapiichino
    @frapiichino 5 ปีที่แล้ว +432

    "collecting engagement rings like she's Thanos" is honestly the funniest shit I've heard yet.

    • @kxxlzr
      @kxxlzr 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Gumdrop Gůmmi then he turned himself into a pickle

    • @ComicBookGuy420
      @ComicBookGuy420 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I cracked up laughing at that one🤣

    • @futrey9353
      @futrey9353 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@kxxlzr
      oh look,a joke ruiner

    • @kxxlzr
      @kxxlzr 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@futrey9353 dude that was 10 months ago ._.

  • @andentze
    @andentze 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2390

    "Now we see why no one plays with you."
    *roasted by Microsoft*

    • @ohboyitstheanti-spiral3978
      @ohboyitstheanti-spiral3978 5 ปีที่แล้ว +194

      Andentze *You know you're fucking dead when fucking **_MICROSOFT_** hates you*

    • @jasonsorin1021
      @jasonsorin1021 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      They made Clippy, of course they hate me.

    • @tributes649
      @tributes649 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      And that's why xbox is better then playstation (I'm joking please don't roast me)

    • @notmyllama2439
      @notmyllama2439 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      @@tributes649 sony:"Now we see why no one plays with you."

    • @PixelBytesPixelArtist
      @PixelBytesPixelArtist 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      microsoft owns minecraft so also consider that

  • @dayadejongh
    @dayadejongh 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9256

    PETA: ugh, milennials. out here taking care of animals *scoff

    • @librathebeautifulwarmonk1283
      @librathebeautifulwarmonk1283 5 ปีที่แล้ว +449

      Peta: ugh millennials, not murdering animals. What entitled losers!

    • @seantaggart7382
      @seantaggart7382 5 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      @@librathebeautifulwarmonk1283 Yeah Peta are secretly being played by McDonald's and others

    • @yellowmello1223
      @yellowmello1223 5 ปีที่แล้ว +92

      PETA: Ugh, millenials, being vegan and listening to us. What a dense generation.

    • @localfeliform
      @localfeliform 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      PETA in name only for they are neither.

    • @whiteriiiice
      @whiteriiiice 5 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      *They say as they murder hundreds of animals*

  • @purplepoet6147
    @purplepoet6147 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1455

    As a christian, that nailgun joke was actually hilarious

    • @TechBlade9000
      @TechBlade9000 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Quick and less painful

    • @kinorris1709
      @kinorris1709 5 ปีที่แล้ว +144

      You could say that they... NAILED IT!

    • @litteralyjustsam5262
      @litteralyjustsam5262 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@mattelwell3837 q

    • @avalosp
      @avalosp 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I dont get it,is it suppose to be referencing a religious statement or what?

    • @mattelwell3837
      @mattelwell3837 4 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      @@avalosp When Jesus was crucified. they nailed his hands and feet in the into the cross.

  • @flobwad
    @flobwad 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12386

    Jesus would actually love using a nail gun, considering the fact he was a carpenter. :)

    • @MyriadMaestro
      @MyriadMaestro 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1301

      He'd also might consider the irony funny. Who said God didn't have a sense of humor?

    • @kcbbum8755
      @kcbbum8755 5 ปีที่แล้ว +650

      @@MyriadMaestro yeah,
      he created you

    • @503unavailable
      @503unavailable 5 ปีที่แล้ว +199

      @@kcbbum8755 hmmmmmmmmmmmm. did he tho?

    • @i.suk.6146
      @i.suk.6146 5 ปีที่แล้ว +355

      @@503unavailable I mean, he also created you. In fact, he made a lot of weird shit. Creating that one dude above us isn't much of a stretch.
      Jk me me atheist teehee hail satan.

    • @g.ferreira6745
      @g.ferreira6745 5 ปีที่แล้ว +180

      @@i.suk.6146 satanism is actually a thing and it's way better than it sounds

  • @NeonWasInUse
    @NeonWasInUse 5 ปีที่แล้ว +745

    4:00
    “What would Jesus’ Favorite Gun be?”
    “A Nail gun”
    I have never been more proud of my religion in my entire life!

    • @pardolagames8994
      @pardolagames8994 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      He would use a 2mm Kolibri, so he could humiliate his enemies

    • @geraldthepuppy9693
      @geraldthepuppy9693 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      We had a “joke day” at chapel, I told this joke and got kicked out.

    • @pardolagames8994
      @pardolagames8994 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@geraldthepuppy9693 bro why?

    • @geraldthepuppy9693
      @geraldthepuppy9693 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Bryan Braz Moreira
      They got offended. Why else?

    • @pardolagames8994
      @pardolagames8994 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Even God may have found this funny

  • @littlemissunoriginal4337
    @littlemissunoriginal4337 4 ปีที่แล้ว +192

    That first one (package delivery one) actually goes further, with the package delivery guy saying that he's glad to have a job and that, no matter what kind of job, all jobs are important and in the end, benefit everyone with the economy. He then points out that the guy making fun of him doesn't even HAVE a job and spends his days mocking others for something he doesn't even have.
    That's the real r/murderedbywords

    • @user5214
      @user5214 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      However little this matters, I posted that.

    • @littlemissunoriginal4337
      @littlemissunoriginal4337 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@user5214 are you the package deliverer or the other one?

    • @user5214
      @user5214 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@littlemissunoriginal4337 lol no I screenshotted it and posted it

    • @littlemissunoriginal4337
      @littlemissunoriginal4337 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@user5214 ohhh. Got it

    • @silversonome5360
      @silversonome5360 ปีที่แล้ว

      How did the package delivery chad know the replier didn't have a job? Were they a mod, or was it just basic reddit knowledge?

  • @chefsnotinthemood5127
    @chefsnotinthemood5127 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3898

    “Bro You’re Literally A Package Delivery Guy” Excuse Me But They Are Heroes

    • @DavidMcCarthy08
      @DavidMcCarthy08 5 ปีที่แล้ว +170

      Stop Capitalizing Every Fucking Word

    • @HomelessSoldierMan
      @HomelessSoldierMan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +97

      @@DavidMcCarthy08 No U

    • @1ax
      @1ax 5 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      @@DavidMcCarthy08 Yes Please Stop It Thank You - Grammar Police

    • @its_just_jon
      @its_just_jon 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      V

    • @SteveOnlin
      @SteveOnlin 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      *Bend a fucking door*
      Tbh if only they could idk send them to the mail station or what ever it is called and keep it until you come that would be better

  • @ozzie_goat
    @ozzie_goat 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6876

    Your videos are a million times better than those godawful text-to-speech ones.

    • @chrimakesthings
      @chrimakesthings 5 ปีที่แล้ว +143

      preach

    • @ozzie_goat
      @ozzie_goat 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@chrimakesthings 👏

    • @SFTMKW
      @SFTMKW 5 ปีที่แล้ว +234

      BUT, you can't leave a funny comment with #MemeAwards and #FearureMe to be featured. Make sure you're subscribed. See you tommorrow.

    • @bombtastic2952
      @bombtastic2952 5 ปีที่แล้ว +101

      @@SFTMKW I think meme awards/comment awards was one of the first people to do text to speech memes

    • @jayeffarelti1919
      @jayeffarelti1919 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Yea but only marshall's. I much rather have simple text to speach than all the unfunny dudes who just read reddit and try to add their own comments like. The post itself is funny no need for you to explain the joke. Cringey af. Most of them are much worse than plain text to speech tbh

  • @GonkDr01d
    @GonkDr01d 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2161

    “Men are useless until they turn 33”
    My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

    • @firehunterz2311
      @firehunterz2311 5 ปีที่แล้ว +188

      Dammit r/animemes you're here too

    • @8mb668
      @8mb668 5 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      well this isnt tinder

    • @timeworks6004
      @timeworks6004 5 ปีที่แล้ว +118

      Yare Yare Daze....

    • @davethelong5093
      @davethelong5093 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Gureto desu yo koitsu wa

    • @thangfahsavung9120
      @thangfahsavung9120 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Jesus's favorite hand gun is nail gun

  • @bonkmaykr
    @bonkmaykr 4 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    One time I messaged the Microsoft Store "can I get an UwU" and they actually responded.
    Best day of my life. Thank you microsoft.

    • @TylerLL2112
      @TylerLL2112 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Did they UwU you or just replied like, “Ha, no.”

    • @bonkmaykr
      @bonkmaykr 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@TylerLL2112 they legit UwU'd me

    • @cy-bernet-ix
      @cy-bernet-ix 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      UwU

  • @door-to-doorhentaisalesman2978
    @door-to-doorhentaisalesman2978 5 ปีที่แล้ว +158

    *"J-Lo collects engagement rings like she's Thanos."*
    Savage

    • @Scazoid
      @Scazoid 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      *Men are useless until they turn 33*
      My name is Yoshikage Kira.
      I'm 33 years old.
      My house is in the northeast section of Morioh,
      where all the villas are, and I am not married.
      I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores,
      and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest.
      I don't smoke,
      but I occasionally drink.
      I'm in bed by 11 PM,
      and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what.
      After having a glass of warm milk and
      doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed,
      I usually have no problems sleeping until morning.
      Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning.
      I was told there were no issues
      at my last check-up.
      I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life.
      I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night.
      That is how I deal with society,
      and I know that is what brings me happiness.
      Although, if I were to fight
      I wouldn't lose to anyone.

    • @TJ-uv6wg
      @TJ-uv6wg 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Scazoid what

  • @MrIzzy5466
    @MrIzzy5466 5 ปีที่แล้ว +873

    A Nail Gun.
    As a Christian that's Damn perfect!

    • @503unavailable
      @503unavailable 5 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      and as a carpenter from the year ~20 I'd be a godsend

    • @therandomhat_
      @therandomhat_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      503 Unavailable yes you would be, but I think the nail gun would be more useful for Carpenter Jesus.

    • @nrggvrn5576
      @nrggvrn5576 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@therandomhat_ was he really a carpenter tho?

    • @oneofmanyparadoxfans5447
      @oneofmanyparadoxfans5447 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@therandomhat_ I think he meant to say it'd be. Regardless, well done.

    • @coreylineberry8557
      @coreylineberry8557 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@nrggvrn5576 Yes. His trade, as taught by his (earthly) father, Joseph, was as a carpenter.

  • @DDjivan
    @DDjivan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3557

    eyy nice to see Marshal doing...
    _...stuff_

    • @ronancavett1272
      @ronancavett1272 5 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      DON'T YOU DARE.
      DON'T
      YOU
      DARE.

    • @yigit8354
      @yigit8354 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      aha... yeah.

    • @can0cringe
      @can0cringe 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      KayTheGreat :
      Dare you to keep listening until they tell you what you wanted them not to tell

    • @cernanwinterfox85
      @cernanwinterfox85 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      ehh*
      Fixed that for you.

    • @najrenchelf2751
      @najrenchelf2751 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I approve this message. Hope you all are having an awesome day! 😊

  • @sambradley9091
    @sambradley9091 5 ปีที่แล้ว +670

    4:01 But wasn't Jesus a carpenter though
    I'm pretty sure he would like nail guns more than regular guns

  • @americankid7782
    @americankid7782 5 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    I love it when a girl cheats on you, you break up with her, then she call YOU disloyal!

    • @creepahdude23
      @creepahdude23 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      It's called projection.

    • @josephberger4651
      @josephberger4651 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Makes you think about how messed up this world even is.

    • @artemis477
      @artemis477 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Because Feminism!!

    • @joelmole3157
      @joelmole3157 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And she called him a dog which is arguably the most loyal animal on the planet 😂

  • @thekillrcraftr
    @thekillrcraftr 5 ปีที่แล้ว +210

    3:01
    "In that instance, the trash took itself out"
    Marshall: OOOHHHH
    Me: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

    • @obinnanwakwue5735
      @obinnanwakwue5735 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

    • @unknownbunny9888
      @unknownbunny9888 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @namealr Traitor of the food chain.

    • @ceciliamateo8730
      @ceciliamateo8730 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @namealr *what* *WHAT* *_WHAT_*

    • @jacobhanekamp2534
      @jacobhanekamp2534 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @namealr Not So Fun Fact

    • @cybergalacticnova
      @cybergalacticnova 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Did you know snails are actually hermaphrodites despite how snails are depicted in Spongebob?

  • @deadpooldealsdamage
    @deadpooldealsdamage 5 ปีที่แล้ว +451

    GOP Teens be like
    ‘#If #you #ever #saw #a #bird, #you #are #illusional’
    I think I’m having a migraine.

    • @孫子
      @孫子 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      What does GOP stands for?

    • @mysteryman7766
      @mysteryman7766 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@孫子 Grand Old Party. Narcissistic, just like most Republicans.

    • @tobybug779
      @tobybug779 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      I'm pretty sure that account is a parody, a Democrat endorsing Elizabeth Warren also endorsed their tee sale recently, and they called nuclear war #dope
      Some people probably genuinely like some of their tweets though. The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.

    • @thatoneguy9582
      @thatoneguy9582 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Tempered Fate
      Gwhat Othe Pfuck

    • @sophiegrey9576
      @sophiegrey9576 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      #illusional

  • @Indie_Calls
    @Indie_Calls 5 ปีที่แล้ว +319

    "Don't come to Indie's birthday. I don't want you ruining the day."
    Don't worry, Charlotte Louise. You're invited to all my birthdays, even if you can't make it ❤

    • @T3KNUG3T5
      @T3KNUG3T5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Wholesome

    • @spacebiker69420
      @spacebiker69420 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      probably a question that would be better as a standalone comment, but who the hell names their kid indie?

    • @Indie_Calls
      @Indie_Calls 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@spacebiker69420 Hippie parents, probably

    • @spacebiker69420
      @spacebiker69420 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@Indie_Calls i just noticed your username is indie calls
      coincidence?

    • @Indie_Calls
      @Indie_Calls 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@spacebiker69420 I think not! xD

  • @breakingbasha
    @breakingbasha 5 ปีที่แล้ว +112

    the cold dead heart one might be my favourite social media post by a company!

    • @henryzhang3961
      @henryzhang3961 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I read somewhere that it wasn't by an official company account, but still gold response

    • @Warappe69
      @Warappe69 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Simply bobajojoba He meant to say he ffcks them

    • @tappernumber1
      @tappernumber1 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bruh u ever seen Wendy's on twitter?

    • @Jtak-qu5hk
      @Jtak-qu5hk 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nikoraasu6929 I mean if you're a guy (which I assume you are) that also makes you a gay person.

    • @TrevorSmithy
      @TrevorSmithy 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Actually, it was 2 comedians who had been running that account for quite a while
      Check out this source: (seems legit) www.snopes.com/fact-check/campbells-customer-service-facebook/

  • @warpednylium
    @warpednylium 5 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    Campbell’s: To warm up your. COLD. DEAD. HEART.

  • @LetustheDragon
    @LetustheDragon 5 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    Canadians to Americans: "I'm sorry, eh?"
    Americans to Canadians: "Texas"

    • @xplosive3
      @xplosive3 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      * Sore-ee

    • @ramenlover3608
      @ramenlover3608 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Cereal Eagle please dont eat my cereal. (Or ramen)

  • @aliceh5289
    @aliceh5289 5 ปีที่แล้ว +246

    6:24 "Here's to all my patrons and your generous donatrons"

    • @HolyPetRel
      @HolyPetRel 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yeah, that's definitely what he said in the video alright. You should make the captions instead of making a comment!

    • @RekzysTheTitan
      @RekzysTheTitan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Alice H a donatron is a robot that donates ass whooping.

  • @ishipitlikefedex2610
    @ishipitlikefedex2610 5 ปีที่แล้ว +143

    Honestly, I'm surprised there weren't any Wendy's tweets

    • @ValidT
      @ValidT 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      IShipItLikeFedEx2 same.

    • @greenlemonada
      @greenlemonada 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I won't ruin the 69 likes but I agree

    • @checkthisout7616
      @checkthisout7616 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nah those are retarded, they go like this. Random: "u suck Wendy's" Wendy's: "u suck lol" OMG EPIC COMEBACK REDDIT MOMMENT.

    • @MsLucid
      @MsLucid 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      thekingprocsm some are like that, each of Wendy’s roasts are different, perhaps you should actually look into it before assuming that all of them are like a single shitty roast.

  • @maomao6023
    @maomao6023 5 ปีที่แล้ว +880

    One time I was murdered by words
    That’s what the machete was named

    • @birddaughter
      @birddaughter 5 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      Well considering you didn't learn from last time I gotta do it again.

    • @ryuuducat
      @ryuuducat 5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      @@birddaughter r/cursedcomments

    • @corvinstory
      @corvinstory 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      *distant slice noise*
      *soft, squishy munching*

    • @ryuuducat
      @ryuuducat 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@corvinstory r/toocursedforcursedcomments

    • @maomao6023
      @maomao6023 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @im female
      It sounds like you are chewing human bones

  • @Aidan-fd2tn
    @Aidan-fd2tn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    0:55 I literally fell on the floor laughing

  • @ashyoung42007
    @ashyoung42007 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    2:52
    Cardi b looks like someone slightly editing a picture of someone until it resembles mashed potatoe on day 2

  • @flubird6370
    @flubird6370 5 ปีที่แล้ว +320

    Always be proud of your job, unless it's not a job to be proud of.
    Yes, I'm aware I'm contradicting.

    • @hps362
      @hps362 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      ...
      Wait does that count as a contradiction? Help me out here don't know who to believe.

    • @flubird6370
      @flubird6370 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@hps362 Contradict the Contradicter and you shall BE a contradiction.

    • @hps362
      @hps362 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@flubird6370 On the contrary, for you see, IT IS YOU WHO IS CONTRADICTORY BY NATURE, AND I WHO IS ANYTHING BUT!!!!!!!!! NYE HEH HEH HEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @flubird6370
      @flubird6370 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@hps362 but I Contradict thee, As I'm not only contradictory by nature, I'm the Contradiction to REDDIT!
      So much time to get my phone to stop changing thee to the.

    • @flubird6370
      @flubird6370 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      See, I contradicted a contradiction by agreeing I'm contradictory. So many contradictions!

  • @Schmorbo
    @Schmorbo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +187

    If "OHHHHHHHH AND I THOUGHT MURDER WAS ILLEGAL" isn't here I will explode

    • @raid-ical
      @raid-ical 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Sorry, but you're gonna blow up

    • @Schmorbo
      @Schmorbo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@raid-ical just finished the video ver disappoint

    • @sadeedehsan5513
      @sadeedehsan5513 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      i've got bad news for you buddy

    • @Jono997
      @Jono997 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Can someone get the Schmorbo assembly crew over here?

    • @phasedcloak2835
      @phasedcloak2835 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That's why comment rule 101 exist:
      Finishing the video first

  • @lightrealmrapono
    @lightrealmrapono 5 ปีที่แล้ว +554

    Yes, a fellow Canadian. Cheers my maple syrup-blooded brethren!

    • @simongellatly8787
      @simongellatly8787 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Hip hip hoor-eh?

    • @beefstew4948
      @beefstew4948 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Sorry I don't speak high taxes I speak no free healthcare

    • @kingvik2135
      @kingvik2135 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Fellow Canadians 🇨🇦

    • @hikaru_7027
      @hikaru_7027 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      makker, het doet pijn om zo hip te zijn

    • @demi-femme4821
      @demi-femme4821 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @Robert Hymes Sorry, I don't speak Misinformed Jackass, you'll have to translate it.

  • @juliamontgomery5533
    @juliamontgomery5533 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    At 2:38 the girls name is literally "Queen Bin-Laden". He *definitely* realized he needed better than that.

  • @TheAlexio00
    @TheAlexio00 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    1:00 *Peta:* There's a pretty good chance that you've eaten foods made from animal rectums recenty.
    *Me, a Tuscanian:* is that a problem?
    'Cuz we've been doing shit for centuries, then

  • @5nak_music
    @5nak_music 5 ปีที่แล้ว +137

    The one with the Aunt was perfect

    • @alexthebudgie9071
      @alexthebudgie9071 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yeah totes agree and it was the best one on there

    • @pork087
      @pork087 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The last one is amazing too

  • @StarKnight54
    @StarKnight54 5 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    3:22 its 4 o clock rn and I just got a friken flash flood warning at the perfect time

    • @olymolly3637
      @olymolly3637 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Loool

    • @StarKnight54
      @StarKnight54 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Didn't die but lightning almost hit my house

    • @tinle9
      @tinle9 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Flash flood.
      Hmmm..
      FLASH flood...
      *FLASH* flood...
      *HoLd űP!*

  • @jaydenk.9670
    @jaydenk.9670 5 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    My brother wears rings on all 10 of his fingers and we're both black so I nicknamed him thanigga

    • @nsta9046
      @nsta9046 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      lmaoooooooooo

    • @Optimaloptimus
      @Optimaloptimus 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Well damn that’s one of the best nicknames I’ve seen in a long ass time.

  • @floop7332
    @floop7332 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    This guy's a genius, he's actually made me want to listen to the patrons from patreon

  • @nekopuppet
    @nekopuppet 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    PETA: ITS NOT A PHASE MOM ITS MY LIFE, I LOVE TOTURING PETS

  • @9-volt219
    @9-volt219 5 ปีที่แล้ว +162

    3:21 why that sound like a Banjo-Kazooie character lol
    I now regret making this comment

  • @ddrs15
    @ddrs15 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Spencer torres your absolutely awesome. Supporting him all the way from the beginning. Well done. (and also all the other patreons of course)

  • @Medikuma
    @Medikuma 5 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    Here’s to all my patrons and their generous donatrons.
    I have no life for finding this entertaining.

    • @daniellemurnett2534
      @daniellemurnett2534 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This is a Marshall Does Stuff video. You think any of us viewers have a life?

  • @thegrayowl1557
    @thegrayowl1557 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    "Bro you're literally a package delivery guy"
    Um excuse me, but the savior of New Vegas started as a courier.

  • @300IQPrower
    @300IQPrower 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never encountered automatic weapons
    (Douglas Macarthur)
    But whoever said the sword is mightier than the pen has never seen a comments section.

    • @Near_Void
      @Near_Void 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      A piece of granite is mightier than the Ruchnoy Protivotankovy Granatomyot

  • @scritoph3368
    @scritoph3368 5 ปีที่แล้ว +92

    GOP Teens is a parody Twitter account lol

    • @henryzhang3961
      @henryzhang3961 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      It had better be

    • @icyspy2936
      @icyspy2936 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Whell Pucci, what type of gun would jesus use?

    • @icyspy2936
      @icyspy2936 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Is it johnny's nail guns?

    • @tntimothyroditi1576
      @tntimothyroditi1576 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @din-HOE-saur life after death, as in the Notorious B.I.G album

    • @results3325
      @results3325 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hey bro bring back our universe please

  • @net173h
    @net173h 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    marshal please keep uploading video i love your straight-forward and non-cringy jokes, please upload more

  • @AFantasticCat
    @AFantasticCat 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Marshal you rock! When I am sad your vids save me

  • @PokemonRater
    @PokemonRater 5 ปีที่แล้ว +140

    I seriously don't get how the “paycheck vs paycheque” one was being destroyed by words.

    • @lumos-lio-4127
      @lumos-lio-4127 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Because the guy correct him by saying "Paycheck". But the official word in canada seems to be paycheque

    • @dianac.9648
      @dianac.9648 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@AlphaStormMusic how do you ruin a language though?

    • @dubiousinformation1756
      @dubiousinformation1756 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@dianac.9648
      We do it by looking at some words, and say "I think I liked the original Latin spelling of the word color".
      And then we get lazy and change the spelling based on which version of a word is easier to spell.

    • @aagh8714
      @aagh8714 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@AlphaStormMusic french would say the same about canadian french makes sense for english too

    • @darkartsdabbler2407
      @darkartsdabbler2407 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      You stupid

  • @snowman7514
    @snowman7514 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    "consider urself #blocked"
    *as they try to blend in with the humans

  • @lavenzavantas
    @lavenzavantas 5 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    Top 10 best Eminem's diss tracks

    • @mihailomancic2571
      @mihailomancic2571 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Random Guy doofenshmirtz was the only one he was too scared to diss

  • @yourunclejoe9500
    @yourunclejoe9500 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I live in Canada and no one spells it like that. Paycheck being spelled like that was literally the first time I've seen it.

    • @french7970
      @french7970 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It might depend on what part of Canada you live in, but same. I've never seen it being spelled like that.

    • @DevanK-rg3td
      @DevanK-rg3td 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same

    • @ChuckADickiner
      @ChuckADickiner 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's the proper way to spell paycheque. Many people don't bother to fix the autocorrect default of American English when typing however. Same as colour, and labour.

    • @andurilan
      @andurilan 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      The British spell it paycheque, therefore, it is paycheque.

    • @Uyuzefe
      @Uyuzefe 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Check the definition of check and cheque, they are 2 different things. Wellcum

  • @davidpaul6290
    @davidpaul6290 5 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    Not to be that guy, but, we may not be able to spell English, but at least we can speak it.....
    Zed......

    • @olymolly3637
      @olymolly3637 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Here in Malaysia we say Zed as well. Because British English.

    • @nrggvrn5576
      @nrggvrn5576 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Jay-Zed

    • @Smileyreal
      @Smileyreal 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Z > Zed

    • @Jaskirat30
      @Jaskirat30 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks to the British, Indians say Zed as well.

    • @daniellemurnett2534
      @daniellemurnett2534 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      It's dragon Ball's fault!

  • @DanielFerreira-td6mn
    @DanielFerreira-td6mn 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow I just found out about your channel. A lot of people make this sort of video, but you put much emotion when talking and that adds a layer of humor in your video that some people don't have. Makes me think of some one like Damien. You just won a new subscriber!

  • @edfreak9001
    @edfreak9001 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "Hey teens what would be Jesus's favorite gun" is possibly one of the wost things i've ever read in my life

  • @FlushDesert22
    @FlushDesert22 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    If the pen is mightier than the sword, take a pen to a sword fight. Go ahead.... XD

    • @GothicGamer2012
      @GothicGamer2012 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      A pen can be used to hire a private army. A sword can fill a heart with fear.
      A pen can provoke military action with a written threat or command. A sword can have it's wielder done for murder.
      A pen can be used to build an empire. A sword can leave blood on your hands and emptiness in your heart.
      Both can be weapons if used correctly, just with different methods of attack. "Stabby stabby" isn't the only way to take someone down in today's world and it's one of the most detrimental and risky methods.
      You take your sword, I'll take my pen.

    • @FlushDesert22
      @FlushDesert22 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@GothicGamer2012 oof, thats true!

    • @Samuel_Williams
      @Samuel_Williams 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      *cough*JohnWick*cough*

    • @olymolly3637
      @olymolly3637 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Samuel_Williams You beat me to it lol. Also complimenting the first commenter, John Wick can even do the "stabby stabby" with a pencil, or pen in this case. The sword isn't worthy of him XD

    • @GothicGamer2012
      @GothicGamer2012 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@olymolly3637 I haven't seen John Wick lol.

  • @thesoulofthehero468
    @thesoulofthehero468 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    3:55 Is it real that in america there are people that actually think jesus would love to have a favourite gun!?

    • @marfromthestars
      @marfromthestars 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I think not ‘cause I’m an American christian and someone who saves people probably wouldn’t have a favorite but if he did it would be a nail gun

  • @rufusthespaceman6635
    @rufusthespaceman6635 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    5:29 that is the best compliment ever. Dogs are amazing, I love mine

  • @NotHappernot
    @NotHappernot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You know the people who say “sticks and stones may break my bones but words may never hurt me”? Well, I did two things to one.
    1) I showed them this video.
    2) I threw a dictionary at them.
    On an unrelated note I don’t know any people who say that.

  • @danielanuhsmann7064
    @danielanuhsmann7064 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I overheard a couple breaking up at the café yesterday and she was like "if you ever want to have a happy marriage, you better make sure to own a lot if money" and I've been thinking about it ever since

  • @olymolly3637
    @olymolly3637 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    The ending credit song & the post credit bonus mention is actually very sweet haha
    Edit: I love the "-dens" Bachelors comment lol

  • @crazywyvern4704
    @crazywyvern4704 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Angry women be like “men are dogs”
    Me think well at least there loyal

  • @KimonoSuki
    @KimonoSuki 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Everytime I hear your Patron song at the end I feel guilty for not practicing my ukulele sjsjjs

  • @OmarGarcia-zx2yl
    @OmarGarcia-zx2yl 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    At 5:24 I was watching this part, and right when he says “cold, dead heart my TV that is playing in the background starts playing that weird serious dramatic violin sound and I’ve never had better timing.

  • @user-vu4mf9nv1q
    @user-vu4mf9nv1q 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I just wanted to thank you for uploading. I've been having a difficult time lately, emotionally and physically, and videos like your make me feel a bit better. Thanks.

  • @prouttourp4522
    @prouttourp4522 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    419k view, 419k subscribers.
    Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

  • @robertcurry389
    @robertcurry389 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    0:53 Astrophysics has nothing to do with the atmosphere or the planet. It’s all about stuff like calculating how fast a rock in space is going. Has nothing to do with the environment. Not saying global warming ain’t real I’m just saying astrophysicists aren’t the most qualified to talk about it.

    • @miguelpereira9859
      @miguelpereira9859 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      It was still a good burn

    • @TheMaskedFox288
      @TheMaskedFox288 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Actually it does, why are so many goddamn people in this comment section denser than a fucking blackhole

    • @robertcurry389
      @robertcurry389 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Crimson fox how does it relate then? If you know then share how so you can correct my false notion and I can learn and understand

    • @TheMaskedFox288
      @TheMaskedFox288 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@robertcurry389 it's literally the study of different planetary environments to see if they could possibly be habitable. Including terraforming the terrain and study of not only our environment but others

    • @robertcurry389
      @robertcurry389 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Crimson fox the Oxford Dictionary says otherwise, “the branch of astronomy concerned with the physical nature of stars and other celestial bodies, and the application of the laws and theories of physics to the interpretation of astronomical observations.” I don’t see where it has anything to do with planet’s environments. I think your thinking of a Planetologist. They study the environments of other planets, including gas giants, and the also study the environment of our own planet too.

  • @isaiah_mdl
    @isaiah_mdl 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Hey Marshall, I just want to thank you for censoring the gay slur. You are literally the first non LGBT oriented youtuber I’ve seen who has done that....
    So thank you!

  • @rairose4944
    @rairose4944 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    3:49 "What a polite way to say fuck you"
    Well, he's Canadian. What do you expect?

  • @simbathebrave7450
    @simbathebrave7450 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I think my favorite part of your videos, is well, your voice. You have so much real emotion and you’re actually reacting to the posts. Plus the singing at the end is quite nice as well

  • @brown9671
    @brown9671 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Paycheque isn’t a word. It literally has the red dots that means it’s not a word under it. It’s not a word.

  • @thegamerator10
    @thegamerator10 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    "but bro you're literally a package delivery guy. As if that's something to be proud of lmao"
    A package delivery guy delivered the Hinata daki you sleep with, so...

    • @marfromthestars
      @marfromthestars 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      And the pillow to cry in from getting wrecked

  • @Evercreeper
    @Evercreeper 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    You're Canadian?? I am too.
    But there only can be one...

    • @nikoraasu6929
      @nikoraasu6929 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wanna do it the Canadian way?
      Can I please ask you to move abroad so there can only be one of us? I mean if that's a problem I can change places!

    • @Evercreeper
      @Evercreeper 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nikoraasu6929 No, no, you can be the only one. I insist you be the only one. Have you been by the maple syrup committee? If you come tonight its "bring your horned horse" day

    • @jamessumner4744
      @jamessumner4744 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Anyone gonna tell him?

    • @coolshadesguy6526
      @coolshadesguy6526 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm sorry for being in your way, sir. Here, have some syrup as an apology gift.

  • @npcr15
    @npcr15 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I absolutely LOVE the Patreon outro.
    I’m new to the channel and just subbed and you are MUCH better that the text-to-speech channels!

  • @ArtemisWasHere
    @ArtemisWasHere 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I’m stealing the “I’m from Canada where we spell word’s correctly” one.
    Actual pure gold

  • @yourmum966
    @yourmum966 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    2:02 That girl handled it so well. On the internet at least

  • @lichtheimer
    @lichtheimer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    SpencasaurusRex is just funny to me. Good on the person who has that username on Patreon. You deserve at least one head pat for it.

  • @swifter46ter
    @swifter46ter 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I just imagined making a patreon called "icy yupee" and having him sing that xD

  • @mabithebard
    @mabithebard 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    No one needs to prevent autism, just accommodate and try to make life easier for those who have it.
    Autism has its ups and down. Yes, parts of it don’t mix well with the world, and it’s hard, but I don’t know who/where I’d be without my autism.

  • @antlantis1234
    @antlantis1234 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    3:45 Canada the place where they can say the worst thing posible yet make it sound nice and polite

  • @velvet_foxprince
    @velvet_foxprince 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    damn I've never been this early! love your vids!

  • @menelik6635
    @menelik6635 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I know I'm being biased as hell but now I like you a hell of a lot more when I know you're Canadian.

    • @jayandthejets
      @jayandthejets 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same

    • @Jezzibolt
      @Jezzibolt 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Just something about being Canadian gives you +10 charisma.

    • @menelik6635
      @menelik6635 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Jezzibolt Exactly

  • @Sean-uy8ub
    @Sean-uy8ub 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    5:17 dang Campbell's soup

  • @vickers9426
    @vickers9426 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    3:05 YO THAT'S MY POST ON REDDIT HAHA. Oh my God I'm so happy

  • @wesleyr.6004
    @wesleyr.6004 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    “Bro you’re literally a package delivery guy” aged like milk

  • @scxlez
    @scxlez 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    That Patreon song is beautiful.

  • @pixelwanderer1962
    @pixelwanderer1962 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    "What would Jesus's favorite gun be?"
    "A nail gun."
    Well, Jesus did say to turn the other cheek. I'm sure he'd accept one tbh

  • @deplizz7859
    @deplizz7859 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    3:50 I live the west of USA and i can confirm everyone definitely talks like this

  • @-kadoshu-4176
    @-kadoshu-4176 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    YOUR VIDEOS ARE AMAZING KEEP BEING AWESOME AAAA

  • @ShadowHunter120
    @ShadowHunter120 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I've been feeding my dog primo food, and she still is active as a puppy despite being 8 years old now.
    And by puppy I mean literally bounding about like s deer and running like greased lightning.

  • @breakdancingmonkey4384
    @breakdancingmonkey4384 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    “One long apology later”
    Correction: One long James Charles apology later

  • @munchfacer3485
    @munchfacer3485 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    His impression of jimmy Carr kinda sound like Jonathan Joestar, ngl.

  • @yaunas5670
    @yaunas5670 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Marshal what do your toes taste like

  • @WhereIFall
    @WhereIFall 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    thank you for making an interesting video with stuff I haven't already seen a million times before! loved it and it made me laugh

  • @skedarslayer
    @skedarslayer 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    First Marshal Does Stuff video I have seen on TH-cam. TH-cam would be a better place if there were more Marshal's.

  • @Aaron-mj9ie
    @Aaron-mj9ie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    These are just okay comebacks. They're not quite "murdered by words"-tier, in my book.

  • @theliner989
    @theliner989 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    4:03 i smell a JoJo refrence

  • @bruhman2396
    @bruhman2396 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    6:21 does anyone know what kind of sound effect (or song) that is?

  • @kake1604
    @kake1604 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That Canadian guy must not understand what Canadian English is a mix of. It literally uses rules from both American and British English. I mean really, he''s on the highest horse I've ever seen.

  • @hsharma3933
    @hsharma3933 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I wasn’t aware the blackout profile pic was a thing a year ago.