Thank you (if you had any idea!) for maintaining my privacy about this news, so I could announce this chapter when I felt ready to... with that being said... is anyone here good with math ;)
This gives me so much comfort as a woman who doesn't feel like having children is right for her, but also wouldn't be against it at all. Thank you for sharing x
This is how I feel too. My boyfriend really wants kids, so I'm comfortable with the idea of having them (and excited) but if I never had kids, I don't think it would bother me either. I personally think its freeing to be able to have that choice. I wish you the best in life moving forward, wherever it takes you and to anyone else out there who feels the same ❤
I think so!!!!!! She was Kylie Jenner ,with her pregnancy and I love that for her I hope and pray that her having her pregnancy in private and what I think now her baby was good for her and gave her some peace ♥️
Honestly, this is 500% how i feel. I’m 28 years old and my husband and I plan to start around 30 but the thought alone scares me. I love children, but I’ve never had that “i want to be a mom” thought. I know ID be an amazing one too! But I’m so scared for all the changes it will do to our marriage and to me as a person! So thank you so much for opening up about this 😭💙
I don’t think I’ve ever commented on a TH-cam video before. Just wanted to comment to let you know you shouldn’t feel alone. Just because people don’t talk about it, doesn’t mean the fear isn’t there. I agree with the above comment. Every year I get closer to that age we planned on having a baby, anxiety sets in and I wonder if my life will change in every aspect and it’s terrifying.
It's ok to feel scared. It's also completely fine to not be ready yet or to never be ready because you like the way your life is now. It's not selfish. As they say, you do you and f*ck peer pressure ;)
Honestly, this is the most genuine pregnancy reveal I have ever seen. I can’t wait to be a mom, but I am terrified and not ready all at the same time. Best of wishes!
I think you had a perfectly normal reaction when you were sad about losing the person that you were. Mother is a daunting new identity for sure. It's very relatable and I'm glad that you showed us this realistic portrayal of a reaction to an unexpected pregnancy. All feelings are valid! And your husband seems like such a good person, a gem among men. Congratulations to you two (math says you are already mom and dad by now)
My girlfriend and I wanted to see what a typical Japanese house looked like and found your channel and have been subscribed ever since. We are reacting to this video like someone we know personally announced the news to us. Good for you for showing how you were really feeling! And congrats to you and your husband!
Girl, you’ve got this! It is not wrong for feeling emotions and do not ever hide your emotions in fear of what people are going to think! Be upfront with your emotions and don’t feel bad about it! You will teach your baby that it is okay to express yourself through emotions; even the ugly ones. Congratulations, and life is all about changes; we don’t always welcome it, but we know it will happen and we just need to adjust! You got this!
Thank you so much for opening up about this. Not many woman talk about this side of pregnancy and having a baby. I get emotional watching this because I feel the exact same way. I’m 31 and I think about think about it everyday because I feel a lot of pressure and mixed emotions about starting a family. I feel I’ll be an good mother but I’m scared of how much our lives will change. This was very comforting to watch ❤️ Can’t wait to follow along on your journey
So very proud of you girl!! Too often we see women who announce their pregnancies in a singular way but never shine light to those who may be feeling a wave of different emotions. Thank you for allowing us to see such raw moments in your life and thank you for validating feelings many women also go through. Your TH-cam fam loves and supports you! 💕
I never wanted kids, never felt maternal and felt like some weird anomaly for many many years because of it. I just pictured myself with lots cats and dogs. 😆 I've never been willing to compromise my life or lifestyle for a child and am sad at the state of the planet we are leaving for the next generations. So, I chose not to have children. Now that I'm older, beyond my pregnancy years and heading into menopause, that is a big load off for me! But I 100% respect the choice that is made to become a mom too! It's so valuable to be able to make that decision. Being a mom is a thankless job and you are so brave for being willing to take on that role. I also respect you so much for being real about your initial reaction. Thank you for that! Last, big congratulations to you, your husband and dog brother Gus Gus. Felicidades!!!
I never wanted children but ended up having one later on. Being a mother is not a thankless job at all. It’s the most wonderful experience one could have. I get love everyday from my daughter, looking after her fills me with happiness and my life has this real purpose now I have her. I wish I’d had children sooner now I know what it’s like.
@@vp2618 For the majority of women, being a mother is a thankless job. My neighbor as I type this is venting about how her daughter didn't appreciate that she took her and her siblings to a water park & she disrespected her & was being super bratty. I'm glad you haven't experienced this but the majority of mothers do.
I'm 34, recently got married and right now I'm also exactly 8 days late. And I relate to so many of the things you said in the start of the video. I haven't taken a test yet and haven't even talked about it with anyone since my husband is in another country and I'll be moving with him soon, too.. so... yeah. I love kids but I've just never craved having a child of my own like that.. it really is a lot to take in. you're an absolutely wonderful person! just because this type of a reaction isn't something people usually share doesn't mean it's not natural or something is wrong with you or that you're a bad person! Good luck for everything!!!
As a first time mum I can confirm that the grieving process of your pre baby life can last for a long time postpartum, not just during pregnancy. It's totally normal to feel negative feelings while at the same time loving your baby and getting used to your new life together - it's the most massive change you can go through physically and mentally, to become a parent and nothing can truly prepare you for it. It can be so incredibly hard. But at the same time it is so amazing and so full of joy!
It's normal to be scared & overwhelmed. I truly feel like being "ready" to be a parent is very uncommon. As a parent myself its scary & overwhelming sometimes. However it's very rewarding as well. Good job at taking your time to share this bc you didn't have to. 💕
I can not tell you how much I needed this video, you're right, women never talk about this. It's usually only rainbows and butterflies and there is this whole other side for a lot of women that is never portrayed. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us and Congratulations!
Your experience was so much like mine. I never really wanted kids but agreed to do it because my husband talked me into having just one. My whole pregnancy, I was more nervous than excited about becoming a mom. My low expectations actually worked out for me though since the actual experience of having a baby was so much better than I expected, and because of my anxiety, I had prepared and read a lot (I didn't go into it with rose coloured glasses, basically). I had a friend who was the opposite who had a harder time adjusting to reality than I did.
If i may ask how old were you when you had your baby? My husvand wanted children and i never really wanted to have any. When i turned 39 i realized it was either now or never and we decided to try. It took only 5 months and now 7 weeks pregant. I'm very nervous but im sure ill get more excited and attached as i get further along. How old is your little one now? 😊
I have always been one of those women who wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. Our first baby was so wanted, we tried for 2 years. That being said, my next 2 were unplanned. Any time it’s a surprise, it throws you off. You have that moment of panic of how will this change our lives. You’re going to be a great mom. It’s normal to be scared and overwhelmed.
That video of you in the car at the beginning after buying your test… I’ve never felt more validated in my entire life. In my time on social media I have NEVER heard anyone speak this truth on social media. It’s exactly how I felt. Thank you thank you thank you.
someone who wasnt ready for her pregnancy and filmed her reaction was jenn im here on youtube. I think mainly people dont want to share or admit that they arent excited for their pregnancy but i'm sure there are plenty of women out there who have those feelings. im excited to see the rest of this journey. if I can math they should be... about 3 months now? congrats!!
this is one of my favorite videos of yours! I connected to a lot that you had to say about the changes that happens when you decide to start a family. My husband and I want a family but the changes that will happen scare me too, and people dont talk about that enough so thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing this. This is exactly how I felt in my pregnancy 2 years ago. In the beginning I did nothing but cry because I was grieving the person I knew I wasn’t going to be anymore. I felt like nobody really understood besides my partner but even then only to an extent. I threw up everyday multiple times a day for the whole 38 weeks. I was miserable, not myself and scared even though she was planned. When she was born I didn’t have that immediate feeling when she was placed in my arms I was just in shock honestly because I spent my whole pregnancy kinda in denial, I couldn’t believe I really had a baby! But she was so hoped for and loved and I was so excited. Such a weird feeling to have but I would do anything and everything for that little girl I can’t even explain it. Just because you have these feelings does not make any less of a wonderful, loving mother. I struggled with that as well but I know I’m an amazing mother & the only mother my daughter needs! So awesome to see this perspective and so appreciated!
Congratulations! Our third child was a shock. I rang my hubby at work to let him know - I was too scared to tell him at home 😂 He really isn’t a scary person! His reply was after a long silence … ‘see you later’. Our three are only 3yrs 5mths apart in total but now 20, 21 and 23. I still remember experiencing so many emotions - all are valid but most of all we love them more than anything else and that will never end.
Oh its so normal to have these feelings Atlas! I’m studying to be a midwife, it’s something totally normal that you feel! A lot of women feel that way, not ready to say goodbye to your old life and starting a new chapter, somewhat also being excited but mostly sad, and that’s okay! It’s true that not a lot of people talk about this but it’s mostly because they don’t dare to say it because of how it might sound like. I’m really glad you shared it with us because there are a lot of women who are looking for this kind of information. I hope you are doing well!
Thank you for being so vulnerable with us and for also sharing this when you were ready. This was absolutely something that resonated with me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for making my feelings feel valid ❤
Omg yes your initial feelings. I've never related to being maternal or wanting to be a mom. I've felt so out of place since I've never wanted kids. Thank you so much for sharing, I feel less alone.
Being a mom completely changes everything, I never really thought about being a mom before but I love my son more than anything and couldn’t imagine life without him. You’re not a bad person/mom for feeling this way ❤
*This video made me feel all sorts of emotions!* One minute I’m crying; the second- I feel happy; then I feel so adventurous the next! And I’m 22 (no kids, not married, nothing. hehe) I have not met you personally but I feel like you’ve been a huge part of my life. Thank you for taking us everywhere in Japan! And this *new* journey of yours is absolutely so refreshing to see. You are brave. You are amazing. And I know you will be a great mom! Thank you for sharing this precious chapter of your life with us 🥹🤍✨
Congratulations!!! Thank you for sharing your journey with us! As someone that’s also never known deep down if I want to be a mom one day, you articulated all of my feelings when I think about starting a family. It’s made me feel less alone! This is so important to share! Congratulations again!
Oh mama in three minutes in and crying. Your vulnerability and openness is a breath of fresh air. Thank you for sharing these private moments and fears with us. Congratulations to your friends and family 🥰
I am so HERE for this journey! Please keep sharing your honest experience. I felt the exact same way you did about having a baby and, now that my little girl is about to turn 3 yrs old, I can honestly say the journey that is motherhood is so insane and worth it. Gonna be a beautiful life. Facing the fear is truly worth it. Watching them grow and learn is such an honor. You're gonna do great! But, it took almost 2 years for me to cope with the change in my identity (i.e. independent, traveler who loved alone time with myself and my husband to someone's constant companion and mother). Be kind to yourself. It's quite a shift.
I have been watching for a while now! Since the beginning of the pandemic and let me just say how extremely excited I am for you!! You’re going to be a wonderful mom!! I CANNOT wait to see your journey! Congrats 🤩🥰
Congratulations! I very much felt the same way you did, I eventually found my groove as a mama (my babies are 20 and 16 now) and I’m betting you will too! So I’m guessing baby atlas is 4-5months old now?! The newborn stage was always my favorite! Congratulations again! ❤️
You were not the only one!! I never wanted kids…but I had my son a year ago, and it wasn’t until 1 month after he was born I really felt connected and happy! Motherhood is hard, but you have this! Praying for your little family as yall transition to parenthood!❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm so so happy for you Caitlin!!! Congratulations!!! I know it has not been easy being away from your family but I am so excited for this new chapter in your life! Sending you a big hug!
I felt/ still feel the same exact way! I’m currently 16 weeks and still processing it all. Thank you for sharing this because now I don’t feel so alone in the way I am reacting and feeling. 🥰🥰
Every reaction is so different for every one with every pregnancy. I'm so glad you decided to share your journey with us. I've been watching your channel since before covid and it's so exciting to see your family grow. Wishing you and your family good health and happiness. ❤️
I’m not a mother yet, but I totally relate. I’m not opposed to starting a family, but I feel I keep delaying this part of my growth because I don’t want to close a chapter of me that I’m still working on… if that makes sense… anyhow, sending you lots of love and happiness. 🤍
Ok so I’m a single independent 24 year old that loves her life how it is and this video made me cry. I feel so seen. Thank you so much for your honesty & congratulations on your next adventure xx
Thank you so much for validating the ‘other half’ of women (like myself) who never felt we needed children to be validated or had the instagram worthy reactions. Best wishes to you, husband and baby Atlas!
Thanks 🙏🏼 for your feelings. About never felt like you wanted to be a mom. I feel the same way and have always felt like that, and now I don’t know. So thanks for this , to not be alone.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I think there is a part of all of us who feel like they will lose themselves, and that it is scary, no matter if it’s a planned pregnancy or a surprise. I’m so excited to see more of your journey. ❤️
This kind of reminds me of our first pregnancy. At the time my fiancé was only 20 (me 24) and ironically we had just had a conversation a week ago saying we weren't ready to be parents right now and IF something did happen maybe we would not go through with it. (to be clear we we're using protection). So a few days after that conversation we we're at my parents house and she was downstairs for a while, i ended up checking on her, when she opened the door to the bathroom she was crying. I asked her what was wrong and she showed me the test. I hugged her and told her everything was fine and i was happy. She was afraid i wouldn't be but you never know how you'll react until it happens. Fast forward 16 years later and we now have 3 kids (youngest is 6) and we are still going strong. Everyone feelings are valid and no one reaction to this kind of news is "normal". So glad you feel comfortable enough to share this with us, i starting tearing up at the end when you guys when about to learn the sex of the baby ! lol
There is nothing wrong with you! Your whole life changed in that moment. It’s okay to be sad for the life you feel like you have to give up for baby. BUT this will be a whole new adventure! It’s probably gonna suck for the first few years, juggling naps and feeling like you can never go anywhere without taking the entire house with you, but it does eventually get better! I have a 7 year old and an 18 month old and I’ve said more than once “why can’t they just be born at 3 years old?!??!?” You’ve got this! Congratulations!!
Thank you so much for sharing this. You truly helped me understand what I am feeling is ok. I felt exactly the same! We were just in Japan visiting my husbands family, and even visited a shrine that we prayed at for having children. But when I found out a month ago (I am now 9weeks) my first emotions were not happy ones, but sad because same as you, I was losing a part of myself and have a list of places to travel and see and just ohh so much more. My first ultrasound though… I cried in happiness. I still feel a bit weird about it but feeling more happy then I did in the beginning, and that’s ok 🙏
From Caitlin to Caitlin, I felt this way! My son is 4 months old tomorrow and I turn 41 this month! I’m adapting and it’s great but it’s ok if you don’t feel excited yet or if you get excited and then you worry, I think that’s being a mom. It still all feels like a “fever dream”. Congratulations!
I teared up watching your journey. I can see myself in you. My husband and I are not yet ready for a baby; I guess this is how I would react too. I do not think that it’s bad to feel what you felt because, let’s face it, everything is gonna change and who’s not afraid of changes? I’m just so happy that you’ve been brave to embrace it. Congratulations on your baby nugget 😘😘😘 I’m looking forward to your chapter in life; I’ve been watching your videos since 2020 😊
All your feelings are perfectly normal. An awesome channel about traveling with kids is bucket list family, they help show that it is possible to travel to crazy places and be a parent at the same time
I love this video. I don't have kids but I am married and pursuing a very demanding career and having kids is bittersweet for me. I also have friends and they have felt the same way as you. I am grateful at your honesty and strength because maternity feelings are so taboo, and I am sure many women need to hear that their feelings are absolutely normal and valid.
I cried... and cried.. and fully intended on putting my oldest up for adoption. My whole pregnancy was an emotional Rollercoaster and I can honestly say I did not get the least bit excited until very close to the end. But omg... the moment he was born... scared sh=tless.. but so completely in love with the little thing. He's 11 now. Can't imagine how I lived without him.
Thank you for this video! I can totally relate with how you feel..I'm 39 and I think my "mother time" is fading away but I feel so scare... I really want to thank you for showing your feelings and thoughts on this video.
It's what I felt, times 10. I was afraid it will change what I felt like the best moments of my life, but then after he arrived it turned my world into a better one. I think it's healthy for you to share instead of feeling all of this big feelings alone!
This is an awesome video. You are putting the reality out there for moms who feel like they aren’t ready. I had my son at 20, he’s 4 now. I love him so much, but also miss who I used to be all at the same time. You eventually find yourself again and get in a new routine. You shouldn’t feel guilty for any of your emotions. Just because some women want this so bad and it takes them a while, doesn’t make your feelings any less valid! We’re all on different paths in our lives and everyone should respect that. You are amazing. Don’t forget that!!
I’m beyond glad you posted this video. I am a young age of 25. I talk about wanting a baby all the time but am so wishy washy with the thought of my life changing or “becoming ruined”. I’ve had many talks with my husband since we love to travel and have our independence. One day I hope to become a mom but I’m letting it happen when the world decides… which will be hard because I’m afraid ti come off my birth control.
U r so amazing for sharing this!!! I am the same way.. im not that woman who feels like i want to be or was made to be a mom even if I know id be a good mom. I know many others that feel this way too. Thank you for opening up on this. I think your child will know that u do want them and specifically them bc u did not plan this. U specifically chose them! Xo 😘
I completely understand how you are feeling. It’s such an overwhelming feeling to get a positive pregnancy test. I have two of my own now and although sometimes I do miss my old self, that life is sometimes forgotten. Having kiddos is such a fulfilling job, such an overwhelming amount of love comes out of you that you forget your old life, then when you are ready, you come back to yourself and your babies become part of that life. Then you realize how much they fit in on your life goals, your determination changes because now you want it even more for them. Hang in the mamma, you will be a wonderful mom and that baby will be traveling up and down the world with you soon enough.
My husband and I are in the period of life where we are actively not preventing pregnancy. But I have always been hesitant because I feel the same as you about becoming a mom and it feels "wrong" in some way. I appreciate you opening up and validating that my feelings are normal and I am not alone!
Thank you Caitlin for such honest and candid video of your pregnancy experience! 🤰🏻💖 it was beautiful and inspiring 💕 I think that is long overdue to normalise and accept that not everyone woman's pregnancy experience will be exactly the same - having some fear, anxiety and hesitation about such a huge life change is normal too! 💪🏼💕 Thank you so much for sharing 💖💖💖
I just cannot even imagine how you’ve been filming and doing all the things you have been without ever letting glimpses or slips of the tongue through on allll the previous videos! But wow!! What a surprise!!! 🤗🥰❤️
I’ve followed you since really early on TikTok and I’m so incredibly happy for you. Thank you for your honest vulnerability. Because I can do math ;) I strong suspect that you’ve already discovered that you don’t truly have to say goodbye to a part of yourself when you become a mother. You change and evolve, of course, but you are still fully YOU. Your experiences and adventures might look different, maybe you won’t be able to do exactly what you would have before. But having a child to share experiences with makes them so, so much richer in a way that can’t really be fully articulated. I’m wishing your little family all the best and will follow along for anything you choose to share.
Congratulations! Don’t feel bad about not being super excited right away. It takes time to let unexpected news sink in. It always irritates me when people expect someone to be excited right when given news. Let it sink in for a bit! When it does you get excited! But, Congratulations!
This video speaks to my soul. I will right there in the same spot crying just like you were whenever it may happen. So happy for you and thank you for sharing!!
Thank you so much for this video ! I am soon turning 30 and i've never really been excited about the idea of becoming a mother some day, for the exact same reasons as you, being scared that my life will change and saying goodbye to my old self. I can't thank you enough for this video and your whole explanation about your journey. This is truly amazing and feel's so comforting to hear someone talk about this subject that we often only project positivity on. it's important to normalize being afraid of losing ourselves and being true to these feelings. Oh and btw my jaw dropped when I saw this video, jaw dropped with a huge smile at the same time! I'm so excited for you ! Love from Canada
You have every right to your emotions There is no right or wrong way to feel. You are going to be an awesome mom & your little one is going to be blessed by having such an amazing creative beautiful soul for a mom.
So many congrats on the arrival of baby Atlas!!!! I know Gus will make the best big brother! I love that you kept them your precious little secret and only made them “public” when you were ready!
Congratulations and THANK YOU for posting all of your feelings!! This is 100% how I am feeling and somehow you articulated it all perfectly. So proud of you and excited!!!!
I loved the transition of your feelings from the start of the video to the very end when you were so excited!!!! I understand having kept it a secret but CANNOT wait for you to tell us more about little baby atlas!!!
As a mom, it's like this no matter what. I simultaneously miss myself and long for the things I could do before I had kids, and love my son's more than any living thing on this planet. The feelings coexist and that's ok.
I was literally tearing up watching this, I feel like one of my oldest friends just shared this news with me. I’m so happy for you. Your feelings are valid. Thank you for sharing with us and bringing us along for this journey.
I reacted the same way and we were trying also. I didn’t think I’d feel that way. But I instantly knew things would change, I was so scared I’d lose my independence and how we lived. Congratulations and I hope you guys are enjoying baby Atlas!! 🙏🏼🥰
😍😍😍no body is ready for this ride. I kinda was the same the first time I did the eco, when they put the heartbeat o wanted to die of scare because I didn’t know what to do or what’s to be a mom. It’s been 16 years and still sometimes don’t know what to do. But they worth the ride, sweat and tears for all the love and joy they bring❤️❤️ bless
Your feelings are so valid. I have felt like this with my pregnancies, and it’s so hard to somehow shake those feelings off. Eventually we all get excited but it’s hard to say goodbye to some goals or the path you were currently on.
O noooo. Clif hanger, boy or girl? But congrats and this new chapter only adds to your adventures, you can still do it and continue what you do. You are doing great. All the blessings for you and you growing family 😊😊💝😊
Omg. Thank you so much for this video... I feel the same way and I've always though there's sth wrong with me for feeling this way, because everyone around me made me feel this way... And you changed that. Thank you.
Thank you (if you had any idea!) for maintaining my privacy about this news, so I could announce this chapter when I felt ready to... with that being said... is anyone here good with math ;)
Girly I am AMAZING at math 🧮 so happy for you and I NEED to know your favorite baby things! Clothes, blankies, EVERYTHING! 💗
You're momming it up! So happy for you guys and excited to see some of this journey. Congrats on your nugget ❤️
When I saw the date I couldn’t believe it! I hope everything went smoothly and that everyone is happy and healthy now. ❤️
Absolutely! I hope you had an amazing pregnancy and an easy delivery!🥰🥰🥰
Math as in, is the baby already here?
This gives me so much comfort as a woman who doesn't feel like having children is right for her, but also wouldn't be against it at all. Thank you for sharing x
This is how I felt .. extremely neutral and comfortable with either outcome 💖
This is exactly now I feel
This is how I feel too. My boyfriend really wants kids, so I'm comfortable with the idea of having them (and excited) but if I never had kids, I don't think it would bother me either. I personally think its freeing to be able to have that choice. I wish you the best in life moving forward, wherever it takes you and to anyone else out there who feels the same ❤
@@BooksToAshesOkay?.
Okay?.
So this means Baby Atlas has arrived?! Congratulations to you and your family! I'm excited to see the rest of your journey. 🌸
I think so!!!!!! She was Kylie Jenner ,with her pregnancy and I love that for her I hope and pray that her having her pregnancy in private and what I think now her baby was good for her and gave her some peace ♥️
Yes def I think baby atlas must be around 3 months. I am so happy for her and excited for the series :)
That’s insane!!!
How did she film all of her recent videos? Wonder if she gave natural birth?
@@kaylita6446 right!!!! Goes to show how amazing she is at her job we didn’t even notice
Honestly, this is 500% how i feel. I’m 28 years old and my husband and I plan to start around 30 but the thought alone scares me. I love children, but I’ve never had that “i want to be a mom” thought. I know ID be an amazing one too! But I’m so scared for all the changes it will do to our marriage and to me as a person! So thank you so much for opening up about this 😭💙
Same, I'm 29 and engaged. We'd always planned around 30. But we're feeling hesitant because we love our life now.
Same!!!!
I don’t think I’ve ever commented on a TH-cam video before. Just wanted to comment to let you know you shouldn’t feel alone. Just because people don’t talk about it, doesn’t mean the fear isn’t there. I agree with the above comment. Every year I get closer to that age we planned on having a baby, anxiety sets in and I wonder if my life will change in every aspect and it’s terrifying.
It's ok to feel scared. It's also completely fine to not be ready yet or to never be ready because you like the way your life is now. It's not selfish. As they say, you do you and f*ck peer pressure ;)
I’m 25 and married and literally feel the same way
I really appreciate you opening up and sharing with us all the feels. Sending love, happiness and health to you and your fam ❤️
Honestly, this is the most genuine pregnancy reveal I have ever seen. I can’t wait to be a mom, but I am terrified and not ready all at the same time. Best of wishes!
I think you had a perfectly normal reaction when you were sad about losing the person that you were. Mother is a daunting new identity for sure. It's very relatable and I'm glad that you showed us this realistic portrayal of a reaction to an unexpected pregnancy. All feelings are valid! And your husband seems like such a good person, a gem among men. Congratulations to you two (math says you are already mom and dad by now)
My girlfriend and I wanted to see what a typical Japanese house looked like and found your channel and have been subscribed ever since. We are reacting to this video like someone we know personally announced the news to us. Good for you for showing how you were really feeling! And congrats to you and your husband!
Girl, you’ve got this! It is not wrong for feeling emotions and do not ever hide your emotions in fear of what people are going to think! Be upfront with your emotions and don’t feel bad about it! You will teach your baby that it is okay to express yourself through emotions; even the ugly ones. Congratulations, and life is all about changes; we don’t always welcome it, but we know it will happen and we just need to adjust! You got this!
Oh my lanta. Not me over here using my fingers for math and realizing baby Atlas must be here already!? 😍 Yay!! So excited for you guys!
Thank you so much for opening up about this. Not many woman talk about this side of pregnancy and having a baby. I get emotional watching this because I feel the exact same way. I’m 31 and I think about think about it everyday because I feel a lot of pressure and mixed emotions about starting a family. I feel I’ll be an good mother but I’m scared of how much our lives will change. This was very comforting to watch ❤️ Can’t wait to follow along on your journey
Your feelings are completely valid! whishing you and the baby happiness and health!
So very proud of you girl!! Too often we see women who announce their pregnancies in a singular way but never shine light to those who may be feeling a wave of different emotions. Thank you for allowing us to see such raw moments in your life and thank you for validating feelings many women also go through. Your TH-cam fam loves and supports you! 💕
I never wanted kids, never felt maternal and felt like some weird anomaly for many many years because of it. I just pictured myself with lots cats and dogs. 😆 I've never been willing to compromise my life or lifestyle for a child and am sad at the state of the planet we are leaving for the next generations. So, I chose not to have children. Now that I'm older, beyond my pregnancy years and heading into menopause, that is a big load off for me! But I 100% respect the choice that is made to become a mom too! It's so valuable to be able to make that decision. Being a mom is a thankless job and you are so brave for being willing to take on that role. I also respect you so much for being real about your initial reaction. Thank you for that! Last, big congratulations to you, your husband and dog brother Gus Gus. Felicidades!!!
I never wanted children but ended up having one later on. Being a mother is not a thankless job at all. It’s the most wonderful experience one could have. I get love everyday from my daughter, looking after her fills me with happiness and my life has this real purpose now I have her. I wish I’d had children sooner now I know what it’s like.
@@vp2618 For the majority of women, being a mother is a thankless job. My neighbor as I type this is venting about how her daughter didn't appreciate that she took her and her siblings to a water park & she disrespected her & was being super bratty. I'm glad you haven't experienced this but the majority of mothers do.
@@vp2618 I love that you said this. My mom felt the way and is beyond happy she had us:)
I'm 34, recently got married and right now I'm also exactly 8 days late. And I relate to so many of the things you said in the start of the video. I haven't taken a test yet and haven't even talked about it with anyone since my husband is in another country and I'll be moving with him soon, too.. so... yeah. I love kids but I've just never craved having a child of my own like that.. it really is a lot to take in. you're an absolutely wonderful person! just because this type of a reaction isn't something people usually share doesn't mean it's not natural or something is wrong with you or that you're a bad person! Good luck for everything!!!
As a first time mum I can confirm that the grieving process of your pre baby life can last for a long time postpartum, not just during pregnancy. It's totally normal to feel negative feelings while at the same time loving your baby and getting used to your new life together - it's the most massive change you can go through physically and mentally, to become a parent and nothing can truly prepare you for it. It can be so incredibly hard. But at the same time it is so amazing and so full of joy!
Thank you for being so upfront about how postpartum isn't solely from the separation of baby & mother.
It's normal to be scared & overwhelmed. I truly feel like being "ready" to be a parent is very uncommon. As a parent myself its scary & overwhelming sometimes. However it's very rewarding as well. Good job at taking your time to share this bc you didn't have to. 💕
I can not tell you how much I needed this video, you're right, women never talk about this. It's usually only rainbows and butterflies and there is this whole other side for a lot of women that is never portrayed. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us and Congratulations!
Your experience was so much like mine. I never really wanted kids but agreed to do it because my husband talked me into having just one. My whole pregnancy, I was more nervous than excited about becoming a mom. My low expectations actually worked out for me though since the actual experience of having a baby was so much better than I expected, and because of my anxiety, I had prepared and read a lot (I didn't go into it with rose coloured glasses, basically). I had a friend who was the opposite who had a harder time adjusting to reality than I did.
If i may ask how old were you when you had your baby? My husvand wanted children and i never really wanted to have any. When i turned 39 i realized it was either now or never and we decided to try. It took only 5 months and now 7 weeks pregant. I'm very nervous but im sure ill get more excited and attached as i get further along. How old is your little one now? 😊
I have always been one of those women who wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. Our first baby was so wanted, we tried for 2 years. That being said, my next 2 were unplanned. Any time it’s a surprise, it throws you off. You have that moment of panic of how will this change our lives. You’re going to be a great mom. It’s normal to be scared and overwhelmed.
That video of you in the car at the beginning after buying your test… I’ve never felt more validated in my entire life. In my time on social media I have NEVER heard anyone speak this truth on social media. It’s exactly how I felt. Thank you thank you thank you.
someone who wasnt ready for her pregnancy and filmed her reaction was jenn im here on youtube. I think mainly people dont want to share or admit that they arent excited for their pregnancy but i'm sure there are plenty of women out there who have those feelings. im excited to see the rest of this journey. if I can math they should be... about 3 months now? congrats!!
this is one of my favorite videos of yours! I connected to a lot that you had to say about the changes that happens when you decide to start a family. My husband and I want a family but the changes that will happen scare me too, and people dont talk about that enough so thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing this. This is exactly how I felt in my pregnancy 2 years ago. In the beginning I did nothing but cry because I was grieving the person I knew I wasn’t going to be anymore. I felt like nobody really understood besides my partner but even then only to an extent. I threw up everyday multiple times a day for the whole 38 weeks. I was miserable, not myself and scared even though she was planned. When she was born I didn’t have that immediate feeling when she was placed in my arms I was just in shock honestly because I spent my whole pregnancy kinda in denial, I couldn’t believe I really had a baby! But she was so hoped for and loved and I was so excited. Such a weird feeling to have but I would do anything and everything for that little girl I can’t even explain it. Just because you have these feelings does not make any less of a wonderful, loving mother. I struggled with that as well but I know I’m an amazing mother & the only mother my daughter needs! So awesome to see this perspective and so appreciated!
Congratulations! Our third child was a shock. I rang my hubby at work to let him know - I was too scared to tell him at home 😂 He really isn’t a scary person! His reply was after a long silence … ‘see you later’. Our three are only 3yrs 5mths apart in total but now 20, 21 and 23. I still remember experiencing so many emotions - all are valid but most of all we love them more than anything else and that will never end.
Oh its so normal to have these feelings Atlas! I’m studying to be a midwife, it’s something totally normal that you feel! A lot of women feel that way, not ready to say goodbye to your old life and starting a new chapter, somewhat also being excited but mostly sad, and that’s okay! It’s true that not a lot of people talk about this but it’s mostly because they don’t dare to say it because of how it might sound like. I’m really glad you shared it with us because there are a lot of women who are looking for this kind of information. I hope you are doing well!
Thank you for being so vulnerable with us and for also sharing this when you were ready. This was absolutely something that resonated with me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for making my feelings feel valid ❤
Omg yes your initial feelings. I've never related to being maternal or wanting to be a mom. I've felt so out of place since I've never wanted kids. Thank you so much for sharing, I feel less alone.
Being a mom completely changes everything, I never really thought about being a mom before but I love my son more than anything and couldn’t imagine life without him. You’re not a bad person/mom for feeling this way ❤
*This video made me feel all sorts of emotions!* One minute I’m crying; the second- I feel happy; then I feel so adventurous the next! And I’m 22 (no kids, not married, nothing. hehe)
I have not met you personally but I feel like you’ve been a huge part of my life. Thank you for taking us everywhere in Japan! And this *new* journey of yours is absolutely so refreshing to see.
You are brave. You are amazing. And I know you will be a great mom! Thank you for sharing this precious chapter of your life with us 🥹🤍✨
Congratulations!!! Thank you for sharing your journey with us! As someone that’s also never known deep down if I want to be a mom one day, you articulated all of my feelings when I think about starting a family. It’s made me feel less alone! This is so important to share! Congratulations again!
Oh mama in three minutes in and crying. Your vulnerability and openness is a breath of fresh air. Thank you for sharing these private moments and fears with us. Congratulations to your friends and family 🥰
Rewatching this, the most precious and relatable journey ❤️❤️❤️
100% respect your choice of keeping your child offline 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
I am so HERE for this journey! Please keep sharing your honest experience. I felt the exact same way you did about having a baby and, now that my little girl is about to turn 3 yrs old, I can honestly say the journey that is motherhood is so insane and worth it. Gonna be a beautiful life. Facing the fear is truly worth it. Watching them grow and learn is such an honor. You're gonna do great! But, it took almost 2 years for me to cope with the change in my identity (i.e. independent, traveler who loved alone time with myself and my husband to someone's constant companion and mother). Be kind to yourself. It's quite a shift.
Im so glad you posted this, thank you. I just found out and i just couldnt process it. Like a fever dream is a great description.
This reaction is more common than you know! (I felt the same)
Thank you for sharing 💙
I have been watching for a while now! Since the beginning of the pandemic and let me just say how extremely excited I am for you!! You’re going to be a wonderful mom!! I CANNOT wait to see your journey! Congrats 🤩🥰
Oops she had the baby already
Congratulations! I very much felt the same way you did, I eventually found my groove as a mama (my babies are 20 and 16 now) and I’m betting you will too! So I’m guessing baby atlas is 4-5months old now?! The newborn stage was always my favorite! Congratulations again! ❤️
You were not the only one!! I never wanted kids…but I had my son a year ago, and it wasn’t until 1 month after he was born I really felt connected and happy! Motherhood is hard, but you have this! Praying for your little family as yall transition to parenthood!❤️❤️❤️❤️
i love this serious talk i would feel the same way too! its hard to leave a part of you that you've grown to love.
I'm so so happy for you Caitlin!!! Congratulations!!! I know it has not been easy being away from your family but I am so excited for this new chapter in your life! Sending you a big hug!
I felt/ still feel the same exact way! I’m currently 16 weeks and still processing it all. Thank you for sharing this because now I don’t feel so alone in the way I am reacting and feeling. 🥰🥰
Wow congratulations to you and your husband! Thank you for being honest and sharing your feelings!
Gus is going to be a BIG BROTHER! Stop worrying about crying, I’m crying with you! You are going to be a great mother!
By the dates… she *is* 🥰🤍
The baby is already here 😍
Every reaction is so different for every one with every pregnancy. I'm so glad you decided to share your journey with us. I've been watching your channel since before covid and it's so exciting to see your family grow. Wishing you and your family good health and happiness. ❤️
I’m not a mother yet, but I totally relate. I’m not opposed to starting a family, but I feel I keep delaying this part of my growth because I don’t want to close a chapter of me that I’m still working on… if that makes sense… anyhow, sending you lots of love and happiness. 🤍
Congratulations! Thank you for being honest and real. Happy for you and your family.
Ok so I’m a single independent 24 year old that loves her life how it is and this video made me cry. I feel so seen. Thank you so much for your honesty & congratulations on your next adventure xx
Thank you so much for validating the ‘other half’ of women (like myself) who never felt we needed children to be validated or had the instagram worthy reactions. Best wishes to you, husband and baby Atlas!
I love the rawness with which you spoke about your fears and doubts! It’s so relatable! Congratulations! I can’t wait for the next episode! 💕
I'll stay in my sofa waiting for part 2 😭😭😭. Can't wait to see your new journey, you have a great community and we wish your family all the best!!!
Thanks 🙏🏼 for your feelings. About never felt like you wanted to be a mom. I feel the same way and have always felt like that, and now I don’t know. So thanks for this , to not be alone.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I think there is a part of all of us who feel like they will lose themselves, and that it is scary, no matter if it’s a planned pregnancy or a surprise. I’m so excited to see more of your journey. ❤️
This kind of reminds me of our first pregnancy. At the time my fiancé was only 20 (me 24) and ironically we had just had a conversation a week ago saying we weren't ready to be parents right now and IF something did happen maybe we would not go through with it. (to be clear we we're using protection). So a few days after that conversation we we're at my parents house and she was downstairs for a while, i ended up checking on her, when she opened the door to the bathroom she was crying. I asked her what was wrong and she showed me the test. I hugged her and told her everything was fine and i was happy. She was afraid i wouldn't be but you never know how you'll react until it happens. Fast forward 16 years later and we now have 3 kids (youngest is 6) and we are still going strong. Everyone feelings are valid and no one reaction to this kind of news is "normal". So glad you feel comfortable enough to share this with us, i starting tearing up at the end when you guys when about to learn the sex of the baby ! lol
There is nothing wrong with you! Your whole life changed in that moment. It’s okay to be sad for the life you feel like you have to give up for baby. BUT this will be a whole new adventure! It’s probably gonna suck for the first few years, juggling naps and feeling like you can never go anywhere without taking the entire house with you, but it does eventually get better! I have a 7 year old and an 18 month old and I’ve said more than once “why can’t they just be born at 3 years old?!??!?” You’ve got this! Congratulations!!
Thank you so much for sharing this. You truly helped me understand what I am feeling is ok. I felt exactly the same! We were just in Japan visiting my husbands family, and even visited a shrine that we prayed at for having children. But when I found out a month ago (I am now 9weeks) my first emotions were not happy ones, but sad because same as you, I was losing a part of myself and have a list of places to travel and see and just ohh so much more. My first ultrasound though… I cried in happiness. I still feel a bit weird about it but feeling more happy then I did in the beginning, and that’s ok 🙏
From Caitlin to Caitlin, I felt this way! My son is 4 months old tomorrow and I turn 41 this month! I’m adapting and it’s great but it’s ok if you don’t feel excited yet or if you get excited and then you worry, I think that’s being a mom. It still all feels like a “fever dream”. Congratulations!
I teared up watching your journey. I can see myself in you. My husband and I are not yet ready for a baby; I guess this is how I would react too. I do not think that it’s bad to feel what you felt because, let’s face it, everything is gonna change and who’s not afraid of changes? I’m just so happy that you’ve been brave to embrace it. Congratulations on your baby nugget 😘😘😘 I’m looking forward to your chapter in life; I’ve been watching your videos since 2020 😊
All your feelings are perfectly normal. An awesome channel about traveling with kids is bucket list family, they help show that it is possible to travel to crazy places and be a parent at the same time
I love this video. I don't have kids but I am married and pursuing a very demanding career and having kids is bittersweet for me. I also have friends and they have felt the same way as you. I am grateful at your honesty and strength because maternity feelings are so taboo, and I am sure many women need to hear that their feelings are absolutely normal and valid.
I cried... and cried.. and fully intended on putting my oldest up for adoption. My whole pregnancy was an emotional Rollercoaster and I can honestly say I did not get the least bit excited until very close to the end. But omg... the moment he was born... scared sh=tless.. but so completely in love with the little thing. He's 11 now. Can't imagine how I lived without him.
Thank you for this video! I can totally relate with how you feel..I'm 39 and I think my "mother time" is fading away but I feel so scare... I really want to thank you for showing your feelings and thoughts on this video.
It's what I felt, times 10. I was afraid it will change what I felt like the best moments of my life, but then after he arrived it turned my world into a better one. I think it's healthy for you to share instead of feeling all of this big feelings alone!
This is an awesome video. You are putting the reality out there for moms who feel like they aren’t ready. I had my son at 20, he’s 4 now. I love him so much, but also miss who I used to be all at the same time. You eventually find yourself again and get in a new routine.
You shouldn’t feel guilty for any of your emotions. Just because some women want this so bad and it takes them a while, doesn’t make your feelings any less valid! We’re all on different paths in our lives and everyone should respect that. You are amazing. Don’t forget that!!
I’m beyond glad you posted this video. I am a young age of 25. I talk about wanting a baby all the time but am so wishy washy with the thought of my life changing or “becoming ruined”. I’ve had many talks with my husband since we love to travel and have our independence. One day I hope to become a mom but I’m letting it happen when the world decides… which will be hard because I’m afraid ti come off my birth control.
Awww. Beautiful story so far…. I cannot wait to hear more….💕💕💕
Right there with you in terms of feelings, my dude. I had an abortion, it was the best choice for me.
Absolutely, it's your choice. Don't let anyone tell you different.
U r so amazing for sharing this!!! I am the same way.. im not that woman who feels like i want to be or was made to be a mom even if I know id be a good mom. I know many others that feel this way too. Thank you for opening up on this. I think your child will know that u do want them and specifically them bc u did not plan this. U specifically chose them! Xo 😘
could this video be any more precious!! I bawled my eyes out the entire video... laughed and bawled.. I love this so much.
I completely understand how you are feeling. It’s such an overwhelming feeling to get a positive pregnancy test.
I have two of my own now and although sometimes I do miss my old self, that life is sometimes forgotten. Having kiddos is such a fulfilling job, such an overwhelming amount of love comes out of you that you forget your old life, then when you are ready, you come back to yourself and your babies become part of that life. Then you realize how much they fit in on your life goals, your determination changes because now you want it even more for them.
Hang in the mamma, you will be a wonderful mom and that baby will be traveling up and down the world with you soon enough.
U are right, u are never really ready for this. But it will be the rideeeeeeeee of your life! It’s going to be amazing
My husband and I are in the period of life where we are actively not preventing pregnancy. But I have always been hesitant because I feel the same as you about becoming a mom and it feels "wrong" in some way. I appreciate you opening up and validating that my feelings are normal and I am not alone!
Thank you Caitlin for such honest and candid video of your pregnancy experience! 🤰🏻💖 it was beautiful and inspiring 💕 I think that is long overdue to normalise and accept that not everyone woman's pregnancy experience will be exactly the same - having some fear, anxiety and hesitation about such a huge life change is normal too! 💪🏼💕 Thank you so much for sharing 💖💖💖
Your Feelings are absolutely valid. 🙏 It doesnt make you a Bad Mom
I just cannot even imagine how you’ve been filming and doing all the things you have been without ever letting glimpses or slips of the tongue through on allll the previous videos! But wow!! What a surprise!!! 🤗🥰❤️
Thank you so much for your honesty! Best wishes to you and your family☺️
I’ve followed you since really early on TikTok and I’m so incredibly happy for you. Thank you for your honest vulnerability. Because I can do math ;) I strong suspect that you’ve already discovered that you don’t truly have to say goodbye to a part of yourself when you become a mother. You change and evolve, of course, but you are still fully YOU. Your experiences and adventures might look different, maybe you won’t be able to do exactly what you would have before. But having a child to share experiences with makes them so, so much richer in a way that can’t really be fully articulated. I’m wishing your little family all the best and will follow along for anything you choose to share.
Thank you for sharing that pregnancy isn’t always the happy movie moment and it holds many more complex emotions ❤️ thank you for sharing your journey
Congratulations! Don’t feel bad about not being super excited right away. It takes time to let unexpected news sink in. It always irritates me when people expect someone to be excited right when given news. Let it sink in for a bit! When it does you get excited! But, Congratulations!
Lmfao i got an ad for clearblue when watching this! Hope you had a good pregnancy and delivery!
Not me crying and sobbing at 3am, because you just spoke how do i feel as 27 yo woman. ❤️🥲😭
This video speaks to my soul. I will right there in the same spot crying just like you were whenever it may happen. So happy for you and thank you for sharing!!
Thank you so much for this video ! I am soon turning 30 and i've never really been excited about the idea of becoming a mother some day, for the exact same reasons as you, being scared that my life will change and saying goodbye to my old self. I can't thank you enough for this video and your whole explanation about your journey. This is truly amazing and feel's so comforting to hear someone talk about this subject that we often only project positivity on. it's important to normalize being afraid of losing ourselves and being true to these feelings.
Oh and btw my jaw dropped when I saw this video, jaw dropped with a huge smile at the same time! I'm so excited for you ! Love from Canada
You have every right to your emotions
There is no right or wrong way to feel.
You are going to be an awesome mom & your little one is going to be blessed by having such an amazing creative beautiful soul for a mom.
Thank you for verbalizing exactly how I feel ❤ I know I will be excited for the heart beat and belly, giving myself grace u til then 🫶🏽
Oh my God😍😍😍! Cant wait to meet baby atlas whenever you are ready haha, congratulations!!!
Thank you for being vulnerable and for putting yourself out there x
So many congrats on the arrival of baby Atlas!!!! I know Gus will make the best big brother! I love that you kept them your precious little secret and only made them “public” when you were ready!
Congratulations and THANK YOU for posting all of your feelings!! This is 100% how I am feeling and somehow you articulated it all perfectly. So proud of you and excited!!!!
I loved the transition of your feelings from the start of the video to the very end when you were so excited!!!! I understand having kept it a secret but CANNOT wait for you to tell us more about little baby atlas!!!
As a mom, it's like this no matter what. I simultaneously miss myself and long for the things I could do before I had kids, and love my son's more than any living thing on this planet. The feelings coexist and that's ok.
Your feelings are valid! It’s 100% understandable to have a private pregnancy. I’m excited for this journey series. 🥰🤟🏼
I was literally tearing up watching this, I feel like one of my oldest friends just shared this news with me. I’m so happy for you. Your feelings are valid. Thank you for sharing with us and bringing us along for this journey.
I reacted the same way and we were trying also. I didn’t think I’d feel that way. But I instantly knew things would change, I was so scared I’d lose my independence and how we lived. Congratulations and I hope you guys are enjoying baby Atlas!! 🙏🏼🥰
Congratulations 🎊! There’s definitely a grieving process, I went through it too.
😍😍😍no body is ready for this ride. I kinda was the same the first time I did the eco, when they put the heartbeat o wanted to die of scare because I didn’t know what to do or what’s to be a mom. It’s been 16 years and still sometimes don’t know what to do. But they worth the ride, sweat and tears for all the love and joy they bring❤️❤️ bless
Your feelings are so valid. I have felt like this with my pregnancies, and it’s so hard to somehow shake those feelings off. Eventually we all get excited but it’s hard to say goodbye to some goals or the path you were currently on.
O noooo. Clif hanger, boy or girl? But congrats and this new chapter only adds to your adventures, you can still do it and continue what you do. You are doing great. All the blessings for you and you growing family 😊😊💝😊
Omg. Thank you so much for this video... I feel the same way and I've always though there's sth wrong with me for feeling this way, because everyone around me made me feel this way... And you changed that. Thank you.