Since American youtubers have talked so much about THE STARE, I've been watching myself doing that and in retrospective asking myself, why I "stared" at that person. And for me, I can say, I don't stare, but I look. The person I'm looking at, is for any reason interesting. Looks pretty, has a wierd tatoo, looks unhappy and I wonder why, is running and I wonder where, wearing fancy clothing, looks familiar, has their hair done in a way that I'd like to copy, has dry hair and I have an imaginary conversation where I walk up and tell the person what they could do, so the hair isn't dry anymore, talking things I don't want to know on the phone, is elderly and might need help, was littering (then it's a hateful stare, not a friendly look)... So, I hope you get the gist :-)
I'll stare right into people's souls for pretty much any reason 😂 even fellow Germans are often slightly uncomfy with it .....dunno why ....I'm just paying attention to them....
I agree, "stare" implies judging and has a negative association, while in reality people simply look. And what's wrong with looking, why be dictated where you look at based on social constructs?
Americans have this "don't look in the eyes" thing. As an Italian citizen, Nalf should know that "NOT looking in the eyes" is considered a characteristic of insincere people in Italy.
Es ist doch ein Riesenunterschied zwischen jemanden anSTARREN oder anSEHEN. Vor allem, wenn man miteinander spricht sich anzusehen ist doch eher freundlich als bedrohlich. 😊😊😊
As a german and from what ive heard, i think the german stare is just a culture thing where germans subconsciously look a bit longer than people from other backgrounds. Since eye contact etc. Is so important to us humans, outsiders immidiatly notice this. However its wrong to assume germans only stare at outsiders, not each other
I think the “stare” could be a southern thing, I am British and live in Hamburg and have never noticed the famous stare, here mostly everyone is too busy staring at their phones and hardly bothered with what others are doing. If anyone stares it’s probably old people who have nothing else to do whilst sitting on the bus or U-Bahn.
@@SuperPuddingcat think it also has to do with the size difference. In schwäbisch hall time just stood a bit still and everything from the outside is interesting, whereas Hamburg is a major city where everything that can be seen, has been seen
@@SuperPuddingcathello, I am also British and I’m looking to move to Germany after my A-Levels to do a Dual Study course. How did you find the transition from Britain over to Germany?
I feel a relation with the end of ww2. Tanks would move into Bavaria with black American soldiers. They would handout catburry chocolate, candies cornettbeef. People would stand there with their mouth wide open and Stare. And than Nick Alfieri comes around. Playing 6something great series, becoming a noteable Spielberg-lookalike. So why should we not stare at you, Mr. 3-Brothers-One-Sister-A-Cat-A-charming-mother-ofcourse-a-father-and-Laura ? LG OW
I can tell you that there were three things I did upon reaching my duty station of Darmstadt, Germany in 1962: I tried to emulate the German dress as much as possible - no more white socks., no baseball caps. 2. I signed up for German language courses immediately. 3. I made attempts to meet Germans. Fortunately, there were at least two colleges and universities in Darmstadt, and I met students there. It worked out fairly well, as I met my German wife to be and had 49 happy years together.
I am German but have lived in the USA for several years. Californians even wear pajamas to go shopping 😂👍 The bigger the city, the less people stare. In Munich or Berlin hardly anyone stares, there is just too much going on. If you are in a smaller city though you are more noticeable, whether in Germany or the US.
@@rachelmclaughlin1491 I agree ! No, I?m not a formalist but if we loose any kind of form ? Clapping in funerals (inclusive. video) , selfies in front of burning ovens in concentration camps, running a restaurant with water bottle in the hand , feet (shoes) on the seats of trains and busses (Clint Eastwood in TV interview on a low table ) , the list is too long for here........and : I love jump-suits (wearing them o0n long long business (not class) flights , I love sneakers (after all working out ) ......i think it is very easy to mix up things (US freedom I do what I want) EU I accept others an their feelings (no ice cream in churches, no short pants or "hot pants" , no uncovered heads in synagogues , no shoes and sock in mosques ) and ...I'm not religious AT ALL
I disagree about Berlin. We invented the stare. People stare all the time and when - as a man - you meet the eyes of an Arab, you might be in trouble. So you have to be cautious when and where you stare and when you don´t.
In the US People don't "Stare" because it can be dangerous if You do. Germans themselves don't consider it staring, just looking at anything of interest.
Many Germans were brought up by their parents in such away that when you talk to other people , you look them in the eye and that has nothing to do with staring, but out of friendliness and politeness towards your fellow human beings. And yes, we Germans like to eat and drink comfortably outside together with others and like to take our time.🙂💚
No he’s talking about staring when you’re not having a conversation & like at a stranger across the room. What is polite / not polite is different country to country of course.
@@HomeWorkouts_LS Our parents teach us, if they're aware, that turning your eye away too quickly signals weakness. Also it signals submission, which is true for every other mammal (probably, don't know them all). So - because we don't carry guns or other signals of superiority and we don't like to compensate with loud speech or other means (normally), we better look self confident at first glance.
100% respect. its how i was taught by my german parents and in my german school. i must say that the kindergarten did help me with many skills about communication, empathy for a fellow human and working together for a common goal. i take driving so seriously now, cz they did a kids license when i was in Kindergarten. this taught me that when i am of age, that driving is a big responsibility.
@@fabianstriebeck8054 I agree with you, it`s important that you get a decent education from home and the kindergarten and at school also contributes to that. My children when they was little always liked going in the kindergarten and it`s important , because they are there also really learn a lot when they play in the group and have to hand things in, etc. I also brought up my children so that they are not selfish and later can live independently and have you have respect for your fellow human beings.
Das ist ja nicht nur in Deutschland so, wenn man mit jemandem redet schaut man ihm in die Augen. Das ist einfach nur Höflichkeit und gehört zu guten Manieren.
Mir wahr das Starren der Deutschen nie bewusst gewesen, bis Ausländer dieses Thema rauf und runter diskutierten. Es ist wahr. Ich werde auch ständig angestarrt und auch ich starre Menschen an. Letztens hat mein Kind(4) einen asiatisch aussehenden Mann angestarrt. Ich fand es super. Er soll sehen, wie unterschiedlich Menschen aussehen. Je mehr er davon sieht, desto natürlich wird sein Umgang damit. Mir ist in dem Moment nicht in den Sinn gekommen, dass es ihm vielleicht unangenehm sein könnte. Einem deutschen wäre es bei einem Kind in der Regel nicht unangenehm. Mir ist auch aufgefallen, dass die meisten Menschen zufrieden sind und weg schauen, wenn sie gegrüßt werden. Es muss keine lautes Hallo oder guten Tag sein Es reicht, wenn man nickt. Amerikaner führen gerne Smalltalk um den anderen einschätzen zu können. Wir starren und warten auf eine Kleine Reaktion. Ganz subtil. Ein Nicken oder lächeln reichen vollkommen aus und man wird nicht mehr angestarrt.
The leaning part brings back some memories from my childhood - I grew up in a northern European country and every time someone was leaning against a wall there was at least one person asking if the wall is about to fall over and you're supporting it. Safe to say I never lean. :D
Last tip: avoid sitting on wet surfaces. The shot where you slowly lean over that wet chair to sit down, triggered some deep childhood ptsd in my german brain. As a german, I would stare so hard if i'd see someone do that in public. And then you did it again... Great video tho 👍
I went hiking with friends on a humid day. When we started the sun was shining, but after a while a thunderstorm came and heavy rain started. We only had t-shirts. I then suggested to take off the t-shirts and we went on shirtless in the rain to keep our shirts dry. Boy, we got some stares when we met other hikers. They probably thought we have gone completely ape. But after the rain stopped, we had dry shirts to put on.
When i was 16 i went to canada and a year high school. And peach thing really hit me. People confused me so much and i was hurt at times. Especially when girls spread rumors about me. That never happend in my hometown. I was amazed oberving and found some really good friends and could take it but it stuck with me.. i am swiss and german. In switerland its even more coconutty than in germany..
Americans: literally shouting as loud as possible, so that the whole street/restaurant/plaza hears every bit of the conversation. Germans: look at you for a second too long, and Americans feel uncomfortable. I’m not sure but the first one seems like a much more offensive thing to do to me.
THIS. Americans are usually the loudest of all tourist groups I see walking around here in Berlin. Same at university. My Americans fellow students are always the loud, shouting, laughing group when we're in the cafeteria. I mean, personally, it is not that I feel uncomfortable because of that, but all this is so contradictory to this whole "being overly friendly, accepting other's personal space etc." thing. The video NALF made about that was just on point.
As an American, I am loud. I don’t have an inside voice which is what we tell children when they are loud. I do think it is mostly culture. On my Mom’s side, we are loud and proud. On my Dad’s side, they are quiet. My son wishes I was like my Dad’s side. As far as personal space, I tend to guard that. I can’t even stand when my grandpup gets in my personal space. By the way, my grandpup is my son’s dog. But I can’t stand for anyone to get to close to me. I don’t need someone right in my face. Thankfully, that’s not a problem I’ve had too often.
@@TS29er Odd. Friends of mine here in the United States once housed a German exchange student, and she was arguably the loudest, most obnoxious person I have ever met. She couldn't go ten minutes without criticizing everything she saw and pointing out how it was inferior to anything German. We actually threw a party to celebrate her leaving when she finally completed her studies.
@@classicgalactica5879 Sounds like an absolute nightmare. I would have done the same after she left. Obviously, it is a huge generalisation and I was just supporting the stereotypical imagery of the 'loud American', I recommend NALF's video about this. But, of course, you can encounter the worst of people everywhere :)
NALF this is your best ever take on German/American life! Married to a German and lived there many years you got it right with the fruit comparison. Peaches rot real fast while coconuts can last forever--same as relationships with many Americans vice Germans.
The clothes thing definitely made me laugh. I went to the supermarket on Friday and there was a guy in jogging pants and I definitely stared and wondered if he doesn’t own jeans. Like Karl Lagerfeld once said „Wer eine Jogginghose trägt, hat die Kontrolle über sein Leben verloren.“
Tja, Karl hat die Kontrolle über sein Leben auch verloren :) Wer über Jogginghosen in der Freizeit nachdenkt ist eher das Problem. Wir sind bei Aldi, nicht der Deutschen Bank.
We do and it’s exactly the same. We seem to love using english words for things , even in a german sentence we randomly use english words. So we also call a fashion victim a fashion victim.
@@gulliverthegullible6667 Sowas fällt doch von selber auf. Da muß man nicht aktiv Zeit dran verschwenden, das geht vollautomatisch. Es gibt eben Sachen, die springen Leuten, die keinen Wegschau-Reflex entwickelt haben, automatisch ins Auge. Außerdem, zwei Punkte: Wer sofort wegschaut, signalisiert Unterwürfigkeit bzw Schwäche. Zweitens übersieht man mit dieser Angewohnheit jede Menge interessanter oder vielleicht sogar wichtiger Dinge oder Ereignisse.
@@CordeliaWagner I was gonna say, I can't actually remember an occasion where I *didn't* lean against something -- at the train station, the bus stop, the supermarket checkout line; heck even my own front door while waiting for friends to come pick me up. #JusticeForGermanLeaningEnthusiasts
The staring part never bothered me because I do it too! It doesn't have to have any negative meaning behind it. People are just curious. Anyways, if you look back at a staring German they usually look away. They don't just keep staring at you.
I watched Unicorn Town yesterday. Loved every second of it. I even recomendet to a Friend who is in flying back from USA right now. Please give us part 2!
I feel like eating and drinking outside is much more casual than always being stressed and having to eat and drink while walking. I also think being able to look people in the eye without feeling uncomfortable, like humans are supposed to, is way more casual than being socially awkward with everything.
Regarding the "to be seated" culture: I live in Hamburg and I think it is quite common here. So from my point of view it does depend on the size of the city and also the occupancy rate of a restaurant. It can be quite the case that you take your own seat in the same restaurant at lunch time but are expected to wait to be seated in the evening hours, if there's a lot more going on and many tables might be reserved.
I'm also from Hamburg and it would never come to my mind to wait to be seated in any restaurant. Of cause, if a waiter is waiting at the door, or if you are wandering through the house looking for a free table, they would suggest a place to you. But I'd never stand at the entrance (and I've never seen any non-tourist standing there) waiting for some waiter to appear. Even if I've booked a table, I'd go inside and ask at the till or the bar where my table was instead of waiting for something to happen. Maybe I have to go into more fancy restaurants then.
Apparently i’m not german…although I was born in Munich and lived there my whole life. Sport Shorts, white socks, food and coffe to go, leaning against stuff, I do this on a daily basis, same as my friends
I think getting seated is more common at upscale restaurants in Germany. At more ordinary places like street cafés, you can ask a waiter to seat you, which they will do happily, but it's not required.
About the stare. I'm german myself and my several bosses I had in work always told me that it's important for them that you hold eye contact. It shows confidence and makes you look more competent. So I learned it. Not too much tho or else it gets creepy. Many germans do it aswell because that's their way of expressing that they really try to listen to you if you have a conversation with them.
What a wonderful way to start a Monday morning! What a pleasant surprise 😊 another interesting and funny video! Especially the “German stare” in the background while you were explaining the leaning-point 😄 all very interesting! I personally was a little surprised you didn’t get more stares when you sat down on the wet chair/stairs, although the stares might have followed those actions afterwards due to your consequently wet trousers. Anyway… thanks for the lovely morning-surprise 😊 have a nice day!
as a german for 38 years, i found the part about "leaning" interesting and 100% true :) i never heard of the stare, cause it's more of a look then a stare ;) if you want to have more "casual germans" you should check out the "rhineland" and the cologne are
And this what i like about culture exchanges. It is about get to know how things are done differently - and everything works too. For me it is to reflect my behaviour and have the chance to change it into other, that i prefer. Without videos like this or traveling somewhere i'd never be able to reflect that. Not everything in my home culture is THE ONLY PERFECT WAY.
Some interesting and possibly helpful observations. I will be sure to pass them on to my family in hopes that we might fit in a little better the next time we are in Germany. Of course, nothing can help the minute we open our mouth and start talking. Our good old Texas drawl will always make us stick out no matter what... however, from others' curiosity, on a few occasions our accent has actually led to some interesting conversations. 😂
As opposed to most places in America, with everyone's exasperation of Texas' oh so loud and pushy pride, people overseas have no prior knowledge of Texas' place in U.S. popular culture, and when confronted with the sheer playfulness and musicality of a Texan Drawl, they just love it!
1. Very good and entertaining video again. 2. The close thing. Nowadays so many teenagers wear just chillpants and other wide close. I like and wear it too, especially if I go out for a quick buying. 3. I also lean on things. That's a cosier way to wait.
About the coffee: I don't think a coffee-to-go is so special anymore nowadays. I mean it is quite common that people on their way to office or craftsmen on their way to the building site pick up a "coffee-to-go". The leaning: I think this is part of our upbringing. My mother would shout at me if I would be leaning with my fresh clothes against a wall or tree, just because it could dirty my fresh clothes (especially resin from trees is not good). Also we had mandatory military service till 2010 in Germany. If you would lean against something and your sarge would see that you would get blasted to the orbit. Same goes for "hands in your pockets". You would be asked several questions where you could never give the right answer like: "Is your birthday today or why are you holding your candle?" Or: "Are you afraid of squirrels or why are you holding your nuts?" You could also be told that playing "pocket-billiard" is not allowed during service-hours. 🤣
yes but i noticed when ever i get myself something to drink on the way, i simply put it away until i am at my destination, be it a train, building or whatever, and drink it there instead of doing it while walking.
We didn't invent the word Wegbier without a reason, so having a drink for the way is quite normal here. However, the leaning is pretty accurate. I can't count how often I've heard "Die Wand steht auch von alleine": the wall can stand by itself, it wouldn't collapse if you'd stop holding onto it, so stop holding it.
Love the video!! The 'American' hat is a give-away for Europeans. I have been taught not to lean against the wall growing up; either the wall is dirty or by leaning on the wall you make the wall dirty - out of respect of people their property.
Thank you for your vid, as a german person I was always very irritated about men beeing shirtless, but beeing naked in the Sauna seems always natural for me 😄
Nick, i do enjoy your angles on things that are by themselves inocuous but you connect them in an interesting way. i find myself doing the same thing as a german in the US, exept i am too lazy for youtube videos. it is not the information that is interesting, it is the insight that counts. Oh, and i eat my pretzels without butter. maybe i am a rebel?
Yes!!! The restaurant and café thing. Happened to me many times. I still feel weird just grabbing a seat...I find I try to make eye contact with an employee at the café before sitting.
Now there is one exception: If the place is quite full and you come as a small group, it is ok to approach a waiter and ask for a good spot. He will ask about how many because sometimes one or two of the group might come a bit later. But please do not stand around like a hat stand waiting for the waiter to give you a place when ten tables are empty. Occasionally the whole place is booked for a private event or something, then the waiter will tell you. Don´t be angry, just come back another day.
Your second point! Thank you so much! My time in Germany this was the ONLY thing that I was not able to figure out - and now I will go back with this knowledge and feel no anxiety! Thank you again
That was spot on! My wife and I even stick out with our inherent coconut-behaviour in places like NZ or AUS, rural or urban.. We're currently in this area, so we can replicate these reactions anytime. 😄👍
😂👍 I think you really got it on point! Honestly I have never thought about to lean at something while waiting because that is rude for me. And right, even getting the "Brötchen" on Sunday at the bakery I would dress up and not leaving home in a casual outfit... 😂 Honestly I will miss your videos in the future! And never forget, the way you are makes you so special and such a nice and funny guy. Wish you all the best for your future and you will be always very welcome to Germany!!!
Leaning against stuff is a small revolutionary act of defiance in this ever fasting world. It makes that little moment deliberate and allows one to take a breath and take in ones surrounding. A creed i adhere to at least once a day. The best lean being with one leg firmly resting on top of an object that invites the deliberate leaner to just take that one more minute. Leaners of the world assemble..here's to those moments of procrastination. Preferably in the sun^^
Beautiful metaphor to explain your view. Both - the peach and the coconut - may be desirable to people. Some prefer peaches, some coconuts, some enjoy both and sone don‘t care for either of them. That‘s life 😅
1, 2: Definitely true. 3: More about old(er)/smaller town people, I think. If you are in bigger cities where people travel around with the subway, etc. I see a lot of people drinking standing, "on the go". While older people who don't have to rush or don't like walking around a lot are seen at cafés a lot. 4: I never thought about that, but I think it is true. I wouldn't really do it at many places, becaue train/bus/subway stations tend to be really dirty. 5: True to some degree, but definitely depends on the people. I think there are more layers than just a shell and an inside.
it's always interesting to hear such observations about the "german" behaviour, as a german. 😄..there's always some truth in it. great drone shots from schwäbisch hall btw.
Hey Nick, Nic, I think i was one of the "first" "out of the under 10000" Subsribers! However! You are the Best reason for other Mericans to Think across the Borders of the "free" USA! How Great would be the US with the European "Lifestile" "System" what ever! That you have been in love for!
Well, the infamous "German Stare"😳! I have the impression that eye contact is very important in German communication culture. I'm actually autistic and I'm very uncomfortable looking into other people's eyes, so I avoid eye contact. From an early age I've been told that eye contact is extremely important and that I should pull myself together to look the person I'm talking to straight in the eyes 👁️👁️, as is proper. 🙄 That's why I don't really fit into German society because of my disability. My advantage: Because I avoid eye contact, I usually don't even notice when someone is staring at me. 😉 (Edit: Misspellings corrected.)
Bei mir ist es eher das Kinn oder der Hals, wenn die Leute gestikulieren auch mal die Hände. Und minimaler Augenkontakt, wenn ich direkt angesehen werde reicht meistens. Da ich in einem technischen Bereich arbeite, ist es akzeptiert, Notizen zu machen oder wenn jemand etwas beschreibt, die Augen zu verdrehen, wenn man sich etwas bildlich vorstellt
For examaple: I stare at americans when they're super loud and unpleasant at the Ubahn or Tram, in the hope that they just "get it". But mostly they don't get it. It's a german way to communicate, I think. I live in Berlin and have to stare a lot. lol. sorry not sorry. Edit: I'm a Kindergarten-Teacher and can't get out of this..
I think that is not only a German thing. In societies were you are expected to be quiet (respectful) on the tram you get looks too. Maybe not as long as in Germany, but in Asian countries they don't like you talking loud on the subway either (Japan for example).
@@Luflandebrigade31Yes! I've been to Asia (multiply times, different countries) and think you're absolutly right. Guess Asians are just too polite to stare at "outstanding visitors".
Im 4 months late so this will probably get lost. But as a german im pretty sure i know why we stare: Especially in small citys you have a really low crime rate, so we feel just really safe about observing everything someone does, without having to fear we would get into a fight or having to keep a "low profile"
I think there was NO school in Germany in the 80s / 90s where you didn't hear from your teachers "don't lean against the wall with your feet against it, it had to be re-painted just yesterday/ just last week/ just last month/ just last year!!" 🤣🤣
or putting the feet (with shoes) on bus/train/public benches seats !!!!!! I recall a interview with Clint Eastwood in a TV-Studio putting his sneaker on low table in front of him ........was it the to keep the "Dirty Harry"-image or from playing too much Cowboy-roles ?
You know what, you are like an apple, the perfect mix - more biting and chewing required than for a peach, but not has labour intensive as trying to get into a coconut, and yummy fruit all the way through, you can even eat the pips if you want.
I really noticed that thing about eating and drinking while walking a lot in Italy. While being German I don't particularly like eating on the go, I still do it, when I'm in a hurry. But living in Italy for some months I noticed, that this is something you would never see Italians doing. Even with something like an ice cream cone, which I would kinda always eat while walking around, Italians would maybe stand somewhere on the side of the street to eat it, but never walk. I'm sure it has something to do with food culture.
lovely video. (as always) I heard about the peach- coconut example already. 🥥🍑😏 funny, but painfully true as well sometimes. that brings me to a probably strange question: *what does a coconut have to do, to crack a peaches core?* I mean I am most surtanly a coconut. but I have a few peaches as friends. But often there is this feeling, that there is a boder I can't come accross. Through "this border" it nearly seems inpossible, to deepen the friendship.
About the "casual" vs "formal" clothes, that is maybe only with streetwear. In offices it is quite the opposite. Where USAmericans in international business go sharply dressed in suits and ties, the German dress at work in my just 3 years experience living and working in Germany very very casually. At my job interview (where I was over an hour late, yes in Germany, but outside of my fault; the trains were not running so smoothly and I came from 250 km away) I of course wore a suit (I don't do nooses around my neck) and the guy interviewing me, 15 years my senior, literally was dressed in a faded, worn, Metallica T-shirt. This was not in banking or so, where people dress sharper, but the high level of casual clothing was something that really stood out to me in (West)Germany.
One could say that starting a country from pretty much scratch tends to result in a culture like the American. Traditions, rules and etiquettes of formality and older cultures are not there and only the basic human desire for comfort and casualty come out instead. Add loudness and self-centered views on top and you got American culture ;)
There are some regions in Germany, where people are rather peaches than coconuts. Rheinland, Ruhrgebiet and Hamburg I'd say. But with a much softer "stone".
... to be seen through in typical German behaviors is not a shame, because behind it there are trained codes - formed by the events of one's own history. If you want to live with perspective in the future, you have to change today. A lesson for you and for others as well. Your thoughts on this are exemplary; many thanks for that.
Casual like going to a wedding in sport clothes...in Germany and in Italy? I think the Europeans take such things a bit more seriously than the Americans. But otherwise you really are fitting into Germany well...and don't forget, perhaps the people stare at you, because you are so attraktive...for example in the Sauna :-)
Alright Nick, who spends more time engaged in the phone stare where everything around them is oblivious to them because they are glued to their phone screen! Germans or Americans? I would think Americans win that one hands down!!LOL 😂🤣😂
I met my American fiance in another country and he said: "I bet you wear a lot of sweaters" "No, definitely not". He tried to dress more European and ended up looking like a wall street banker from 1980 lost in a big black coat from the Soviet Era. So some of the first plans we have when I come to the US is to update his wardrobe at least to the year 2000. Sometimes I want to dress less formal but my brains barrier is so huge it posts a stop sign and starts an existential debate "Why would you do that? What is the meaning of this and what are the social implications of choosing this road? Sweatpants are a serious choice-are you ready to life with consequences this has for your life?" The eye contact thing means: I acknowledge you. I see you. If somebody doesn't look back it kinda means" what you say is too irrelevant for me to pay attention to" Germans are very sensitive about that. Not looking at someone can leave a feeling like "neither your existence, nor your words have any meaning-basically it is nothing to me and you are in this moment nothing for me." Especially if you asked a question and then look away that can be way to confusing for a German. Also looking in somebodied eyes means" I am open and I wait for your feedback". I don't know if it is common but also my partner told me that there is a lot of small talk in the US and it is not always necessary to respond. That is super frustrating for me and my answer as a German is always "why would I start talking about it if it isn't worth a response. I actually think it is the same like eye" staring" - when we share something about ourselves and don't get feedback it leaves a sense of hurt or embrassement to have ever opened our mouth. I think we are generally very philosophical in nature and if we are left with the feeling that what we said hasn't any value for the community it leaves us with the feeling that we failed and we need approval that it is also okay when we failed. Yesterday a woman asked me the way and 5 people gathered to help her because no one really knew. Also a few people asked me why we Germans say "we" and "us" "In Germany we think this way" - it is kinda like we check with everybody what we are doing is alright with the fear if not hell might break loose.
#1 giveaway which I'm surprised you didn't mention is being loud. Americans are 2nd to only the Spanish when it comes to being loud for no reason at all when just talking
I really like your metaphore! 😄 Otherwise I would wish that people in general would't look out so much for differences. We are humans all around the world and we all have fundamental things in common. We all need to be loved, respected and welcomened. We all need a friendly word. And I think the world reflects back at you what you are sending out
We really need more 'cultural bridges' like you. The world would be a better one, if we all could walk in other shoes as well from time to time. Thank you for beeing so curious.
two things regarding the "to Go" culture: well, first of yes: we don't have that go-go quick and fast mentality and enjoy to enjoy thing and give it the proper time and room it deserves. secondly: I don't think we shove in that much stuff "in between". basically getting a super sweet starbucks in between is almost like an extra meal... that means: if you only have theses things during your proper meals and sometimes maybe a coffee as sort of a 4th little thing, you also have the time to give it the proper time :) and I do love the peaches vs coconuts metaphor :)
Interesting analysis, the key is you live in a small city and you socialise mainly with fellow Americans. So it makes it more obvious. But your peaches and coconut comparison is great. However with or without baseball caps, I would pick you as an American from 100m away
It's so funny my german husband won't go for a quick run to the gas station or backeri. He always changes from his addidas running pants to jeans and sneakers not his birkenstocks. I was lucky that at the very first most Germans I met after coming here to our small town Übach-Palenberg did I ever get the stare, they all opened up to me. I don't know if this is something that would only be possible in small town compared to the city. I find Aachen like most of the other cities of the world. Let it be and you'll be fine.
See, but Aachen is in the West AND immediately located at the Dreiländereck, so that's a pretty stark contrast to people from BaWü or further south/east. As a fellow Rhinelander, I'd say we're definitely a differend breed than Swabians 😅
To the topic of staring. Someone also brought this up, when we were young it was our number one priority to look someone in the eyes when talking to them or when they talk to you. The moment you break eyecontact for too long you are considered disrespectful towards the person you´re talking to. Like you are trying to ignore them and don´t want to community with said person in anyway. Notice that this doesn´t count when you are somewhat familiar with someone, lets say co workers, you are working on something and you are just shattering for fun, but even then you will look up and into the eyes of your current "talking partner".
I just came back from the States and can only but agree to your conclusions about the peaches and the coconuts....and their differences. I am German...
I mean i'm someone who doesn't like to stare and rather avoids looking directly at others (mostly due to being shy). But yeah, when you are standing out a lot its kinda natural to stare a bit i think. I can agree with all points in the video tbh and the coconut analogy is pretty cool.
![TEEDEE TADA - DIAMOND NARAKORN X LEGO LYKN [Special Dance Performance]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QgtZedFeumA/mqdefault.jpg)
Since American youtubers have talked so much about THE STARE, I've been watching myself doing that and in retrospective asking myself, why I "stared" at that person. And for me, I can say, I don't stare, but I look. The person I'm looking at, is for any reason interesting. Looks pretty, has a wierd tatoo, looks unhappy and I wonder why, is running and I wonder where, wearing fancy clothing, looks familiar, has their hair done in a way that I'd like to copy, has dry hair and I have an imaginary conversation where I walk up and tell the person what they could do, so the hair isn't dry anymore, talking things I don't want to know on the phone, is elderly and might need help, was littering (then it's a hateful stare, not a friendly look)... So, I hope you get the gist :-)
Oh, I do the same, but I always assumed that was just my ADHD
Das hast du perfekt erklärt. Es ist selten unfreundlich gemeint. Meistens ist es nur interessiertes beobachten.✌🏻
I'll stare right into people's souls for pretty much any reason 😂
even fellow Germans are often slightly uncomfy with it .....dunno why ....I'm just paying attention to them....
Yes it has to do because we Germans care so much about what other do or think. We also like our gossip.
I agree, "stare" implies judging and has a negative association, while in reality people simply look. And what's wrong with looking, why be dictated where you look at based on social constructs?
Americans have this "don't look in the eyes" thing. As an Italian citizen, Nalf should know that "NOT looking in the eyes" is considered a characteristic of insincere people in Italy.
Yes :D same in Germany.
yes. its a respecting thing for me. if i avoid having eye contact with someone, i feel like they notice and feel bad.
Es ist doch ein Riesenunterschied zwischen jemanden anSTARREN oder anSEHEN. Vor allem, wenn man miteinander spricht sich anzusehen ist doch eher freundlich als bedrohlich. 😊😊😊
Ha,... the Germans were annoyed by the staring Romans.... but after a while they stared back.😊
I don't like eye contact with strangers but I have a lot of other German habbits
As a german and from what ive heard, i think the german stare is just a culture thing where germans subconsciously look a bit longer than people from other backgrounds. Since eye contact etc. Is so important to us humans, outsiders immidiatly notice this. However its wrong to assume germans only stare at outsiders, not each other
I think the “stare” could be a southern thing, I am British and live in Hamburg and have never noticed the famous stare, here mostly everyone is too busy staring at their phones and hardly bothered with what others are doing. If anyone stares it’s probably old people who have nothing else to do whilst sitting on the bus or U-Bahn.
@@SuperPuddingcat think it also has to do with the size difference. In schwäbisch hall time just stood a bit still and everything from the outside is interesting, whereas Hamburg is a major city where everything that can be seen, has been seen
@@SuperPuddingcathello, I am also British and I’m looking to move to Germany after my A-Levels to do a Dual Study course. How did you find the transition from Britain over to Germany?
wunderbar beschrieben ) ...wonderfully described )
I feel a relation with the end of ww2. Tanks would move into Bavaria with black American soldiers. They would handout catburry chocolate, candies cornettbeef. People would stand there
with their mouth wide open and Stare. And than Nick Alfieri comes around. Playing 6something great series, becoming a noteable Spielberg-lookalike. So why should we not stare at you, Mr. 3-Brothers-One-Sister-A-Cat-A-charming-mother-ofcourse-a-father-and-Laura ?
LG OW
I can tell you that there were three things I did upon reaching my duty station of Darmstadt, Germany in 1962: I tried to emulate the German dress as much as possible - no more white socks., no baseball caps. 2. I signed up for German language courses immediately. 3. I made attempts to meet Germans. Fortunately, there were at least two colleges and universities in Darmstadt, and I met students there. It worked out fairly well, as I met my German wife to be and had 49 happy years together.
You could also have joined the Square Dance club in Darmstadt.
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Im from there, hope you had a decent time haha
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I am German but have lived in the USA for several years. Californians even wear
pajamas to go shopping 😂👍 The bigger the city, the less people stare. In Munich or Berlin hardly anyone stares, there is just too much going on. If you are in a smaller city though you are more noticeable, whether in Germany or the US.
exactly ! It bores me off to hear "typical in Germany" , "typical US".......
I've seen some Irish people even do the wearing pj's to the shops, I find it disgusting xP
@@rachelmclaughlin1491 I agree ! No, I?m not a formalist but if we loose any kind of form ? Clapping in funerals (inclusive. video) , selfies in front of burning ovens in concentration camps, running a restaurant with water bottle in the hand , feet (shoes) on the seats of trains and busses (Clint Eastwood in TV interview on a low table ) , the list is too long for here........and : I love jump-suits (wearing them o0n long long business (not class) flights , I love sneakers (after all working out ) ......i think it is very easy to mix up things (US freedom I do what I want) EU I accept others an their feelings (no ice cream in churches, no short pants or "hot pants" , no uncovered heads in synagogues , no shoes and sock in mosques ) and ...I'm not religious AT ALL
That's the point I was looking for in the comments. I live besides Bonn and Cologne and can confirm:
The bigger the city, the less people stare.
I disagree about Berlin. We invented the stare. People stare all the time and when - as a man - you meet the eyes of an Arab, you might be in trouble. So you have to be cautious when and where you stare and when you don´t.
In the US People don't "Stare" because it can be dangerous if You do. Germans themselves don't consider it staring, just looking at anything of interest.
Many Germans were brought up by their parents in such away that when you talk to other people , you look them in the eye and that has nothing to do with staring, but out of friendliness and politeness towards your fellow human beings. And yes, we Germans like to eat and drink comfortably outside together with others and like to take our time.🙂💚
No he’s talking about staring when you’re not having a conversation & like at a stranger across the room. What is polite / not polite is different country to country of course.
@@HomeWorkouts_LS
Our parents teach us, if they're aware, that turning your eye away too quickly signals weakness.
Also it signals submission, which is true for every other mammal (probably, don't know them all).
So - because we don't carry guns or other signals of superiority and we don't like to compensate with loud speech or other means (normally), we better look self confident at first glance.
100% respect. its how i was taught by my german parents and in my german school. i must say that the kindergarten did help me with many skills about communication, empathy for a fellow human and working together for a common goal. i take driving so seriously now, cz they did a kids license when i was in Kindergarten. this taught me that when i am of age, that driving is a big responsibility.
@@fabianstriebeck8054 I agree with you, it`s important that you get a decent education from home and the kindergarten and at school also contributes to that. My children when they was little always liked going in the kindergarten and it`s important , because they are there also really learn a lot when they play in the group and have to hand things in, etc. I also brought up my children so that they are not selfish and later can live independently and have you have respect for your fellow human beings.
Das ist ja nicht nur in Deutschland so, wenn man mit jemandem redet schaut man ihm in die Augen. Das ist einfach nur Höflichkeit und gehört zu guten Manieren.
You got a stare at 5:40 for leaning to a tree and talking to a camera 😂
Mir wahr das Starren der Deutschen nie bewusst gewesen, bis Ausländer dieses Thema rauf und runter diskutierten. Es ist wahr. Ich werde auch ständig angestarrt und auch ich starre Menschen an. Letztens hat mein Kind(4) einen asiatisch aussehenden Mann angestarrt. Ich fand es super. Er soll sehen, wie unterschiedlich Menschen aussehen. Je mehr er davon sieht, desto natürlich wird sein Umgang damit. Mir ist in dem Moment nicht in den Sinn gekommen, dass es ihm vielleicht unangenehm sein könnte. Einem deutschen wäre es bei einem Kind in der Regel nicht unangenehm. Mir ist auch aufgefallen, dass die meisten Menschen zufrieden sind und weg schauen, wenn sie gegrüßt werden. Es muss keine lautes Hallo oder guten Tag sein
Es reicht, wenn man nickt. Amerikaner führen gerne Smalltalk um den anderen einschätzen zu können. Wir starren und
warten auf eine Kleine Reaktion. Ganz subtil. Ein Nicken oder lächeln reichen vollkommen aus und man wird nicht mehr angestarrt.
The leaning part brings back some memories from my childhood - I grew up in a northern European country and every time someone was leaning against a wall there was at least one person asking if the wall is about to fall over and you're supporting it. Safe to say I never lean. :D
haha i remember that joke too
That's also what you are told in German army :D
Last tip: avoid sitting on wet surfaces. The shot where you slowly lean over that wet chair to sit down, triggered some deep childhood ptsd in my german brain. As a german, I would stare so hard if i'd see someone do that in public. And then you did it again... Great video tho 👍
OMG SAME! I was yelling at my screen 🤣😂
🤣🤣🤣 so true, was my first thought 😂😂😂
And did his grandmother not teach him not to sit cold stones in months which have the letter "r" in the name? 😳
Wir sind doch nicht aus Zucker gemacht.
@@jasophiena6580 Meine sagte immer, ich soll nichts Kaltes trinken, sonst krieg ich Würmer im Bauch :)
And I would have placed a bet on your shirtless hiking in the mountains as the 'most-stared' event in Germany
😂
In shape and good looking has a lot to do with that also.
I went hiking with friends on a humid day. When we started the sun was shining, but after a while a thunderstorm came and heavy rain started. We only had t-shirts. I then suggested to take off the t-shirts and we went on shirtless in the rain to keep our shirts dry. Boy, we got some stares when we met other hikers. They probably thought we have gone completely ape. But after the rain stopped, we had dry shirts to put on.
And now he shaves his chest...
I thought the same !!!!!!!!!!!!
The peach/coconut comparison is very sweet and such a compliment to us germans.
In the end, both are delicious fruits....
When i was 16 i went to canada and a year high school. And peach thing really hit me. People confused me so much and i was hurt at times. Especially when girls spread rumors about me. That never happend in my hometown. I was amazed oberving and found some really good friends and could take it but it stuck with me.. i am swiss and german. In switerland its even more coconutty than in germany..
Loved this. Third year here in Germany after 63 years in Portland Oregon. Spot on with observations.
Hope you are having a wonderful time and feel at home.
YOOOOOO, I just watched Unicorn town last night, and you blew far past my expectations, could have been a film on netflix!
aaaaand another video from an american linebacker teaching me more about my country and myself than any german teacher could ever do... thank YOU!
Americans: literally shouting as loud as possible, so that the whole street/restaurant/plaza hears every bit of the conversation.
Germans: look at you for a second too long, and Americans feel uncomfortable.
I’m not sure but the first one seems like a much more offensive thing to do to me.
THIS. Americans are usually the loudest of all tourist groups I see walking around here in Berlin. Same at university. My Americans fellow students are always the loud, shouting, laughing group when we're in the cafeteria. I mean, personally, it is not that I feel uncomfortable because of that, but all this is so contradictory to this whole "being overly friendly, accepting other's personal space etc." thing. The video NALF made about that was just on point.
As an American, I am loud. I don’t have an inside voice which is what we tell children when they are loud. I do think it is mostly culture. On my Mom’s side, we are loud and proud. On my Dad’s side, they are quiet. My son wishes I was like my Dad’s side.
As far as personal space, I tend to guard that. I can’t even stand when my grandpup gets in my personal space. By the way, my grandpup is my son’s dog. But I can’t stand for anyone to get to close to me. I don’t need someone right in my face. Thankfully, that’s not a problem I’ve had too often.
Once I had an American on the train who completely freaked out because it was very full and people were standing so close together...
@@TS29er Odd. Friends of mine here in the United States once housed a German exchange student, and she was arguably the loudest, most obnoxious person I have ever met. She couldn't go ten minutes without criticizing everything she saw and pointing out how it was inferior to anything German. We actually threw a party to celebrate her leaving when she finally completed her studies.
@@classicgalactica5879 Sounds like an absolute nightmare. I would have done the same after she left. Obviously, it is a huge generalisation and I was just supporting the stereotypical imagery of the 'loud American', I recommend NALF's video about this. But, of course, you can encounter the worst of people everywhere :)
NALF this is your best ever take on German/American life! Married to a German and lived there many years you got it right with the fruit comparison. Peaches rot real fast while coconuts can last forever--same as relationships with many Americans vice Germans.
The clothes thing definitely made me laugh. I went to the supermarket on Friday and there was a guy in jogging pants and I definitely stared and wondered if he doesn’t own jeans.
Like Karl Lagerfeld once said „Wer eine Jogginghose trägt, hat die Kontrolle über sein Leben verloren.“
Wirklich?!? Auf sowas achtest du? Du musst ja echt nix zu tun haben.
well thats just dumb people. many germans i know wear that too and get that aswell. its not about foreigners
Tja, Karl hat die Kontrolle über sein Leben auch verloren :)
Wer über Jogginghosen in der Freizeit nachdenkt ist eher das Problem.
Wir sind bei Aldi, nicht der Deutschen Bank.
We do and it’s exactly the same. We seem to love using english words for things , even in a german sentence we randomly use english words. So we also call a fashion victim a fashion victim.
@@gulliverthegullible6667 Sowas fällt doch von selber auf. Da muß man nicht aktiv Zeit dran verschwenden, das geht vollautomatisch.
Es gibt eben Sachen, die springen Leuten, die keinen Wegschau-Reflex entwickelt haben, automatisch ins Auge.
Außerdem, zwei Punkte: Wer sofort wegschaut, signalisiert Unterwürfigkeit bzw Schwäche.
Zweitens übersieht man mit dieser Angewohnheit jede Menge interessanter oder vielleicht sogar wichtiger Dinge oder Ereignisse.
Never even considered leaning against something while waiting 🤔 I’m gonna branch out my waiting position after what I learned now! 😉
I am german and I do this all the time.
Welcome to the wonderfull world of the leaning enthusiasts,take a minute to rest not only your body but your spirit too.
Happy leaning to you ^^
I've never considering that leaning up against something while waiting is a cultural phenomenon lol. I just assumed everyone everywhere does it
@@CordeliaWagner I was gonna say, I can't actually remember an occasion where I *didn't* lean against something -- at the train station, the bus stop, the supermarket checkout line; heck even my own front door while waiting for friends to come pick me up. #JusticeForGermanLeaningEnthusiasts
Why don't I lean on random trees or house walls in the city? Simple, I don't want to stand in dog piss.
The staring part never bothered me because I do it too! It doesn't have to have any negative meaning behind it. People are just curious. Anyways, if you look back at a staring German they usually look away. They don't just keep staring at you.
I watched Unicorn Town yesterday. Loved every second of it. I even recomendet to a Friend who is in flying back from USA right now.
Please give us part 2!
I feel like eating and drinking outside is much more casual than always being stressed and having to eat and drink while walking. I also think being able to look people in the eye without feeling uncomfortable, like humans are supposed to, is way more casual than being socially awkward with everything.
Regarding the "to be seated" culture: I live in Hamburg and I think it is quite common here. So from my point of view it does depend on the size of the city and also the occupancy rate of a restaurant. It can be quite the case that you take your own seat in the same restaurant at lunch time but are expected to wait to be seated in the evening hours, if there's a lot more going on and many tables might be reserved.
I'm also from Hamburg and it would never come to my mind to wait to be seated in any restaurant. Of cause, if a waiter is waiting at the door, or if you are wandering through the house looking for a free table, they would suggest a place to you. But I'd never stand at the entrance (and I've never seen any non-tourist standing there) waiting for some waiter to appear.
Even if I've booked a table, I'd go inside and ask at the till or the bar where my table was instead of waiting for something to happen.
Maybe I have to go into more fancy restaurants then.
Well, i guess vlogging in public draws you more stares than leaning, coffee to go and clothes combined... :)
Apparently i’m not german…although I was born in Munich and lived there my whole life. Sport Shorts, white socks, food and coffe to go, leaning against stuff, I do this on a daily basis, same as my friends
I think getting seated is more common at upscale restaurants in Germany. At more ordinary places like street cafés, you can ask a waiter to seat you, which they will do happily, but it's not required.
love this video. As a german I fully agree with all of this :D
Wohnst du aufm Dorf?
About the stare. I'm german myself and my several bosses I had in work always told me that it's important for them that you hold eye contact. It shows confidence and makes you look more competent. So I learned it. Not too much tho or else it gets creepy. Many germans do it aswell because that's their way of expressing that they really try to listen to you if you have a conversation with them.
What a wonderful way to start a Monday morning! What a pleasant surprise 😊 another interesting and funny video! Especially the “German stare” in the background while you were explaining the leaning-point 😄 all very interesting! I personally was a little surprised you didn’t get more stares when you sat down on the wet chair/stairs, although the stares might have followed those actions afterwards due to your consequently wet trousers. Anyway… thanks for the lovely morning-surprise 😊 have a nice day!
Exactly what I was wondering.
as a german for 38 years, i found the part about "leaning" interesting and 100% true :)
i never heard of the stare, cause it's more of a look then a stare ;)
if you want to have more "casual germans" you should check out the "rhineland" and the cologne are
And this what i like about culture exchanges. It is about get to know how things are done differently - and everything works too. For me it is to reflect my behaviour and have the chance to change it into other, that i prefer. Without videos like this or traveling somewhere i'd never be able to reflect that. Not everything in my home culture is THE ONLY PERFECT WAY.
Some interesting and possibly helpful observations. I will be sure to pass them on to my family in hopes that we might fit in a little better the next time we are in Germany. Of course, nothing can help the minute we open our mouth and start talking. Our good old Texas drawl will always make us stick out no matter what... however, from others' curiosity, on a few occasions our accent has actually led to some interesting conversations. 😂
As opposed to most places in America, with everyone's exasperation of Texas' oh so loud and pushy pride, people overseas have no prior knowledge of Texas' place in U.S. popular culture, and when confronted with the sheer playfulness and musicality of a Texan Drawl, they just love it!
gotta understand it first... lol
1. Very good and entertaining video again.
2. The close thing. Nowadays so many teenagers wear just chillpants and other wide close. I like and wear it too, especially if I go out for a quick buying.
3. I also lean on things. That's a cosier way to wait.
About the coffee: I don't think a coffee-to-go is so special anymore nowadays. I mean it is quite common that people on their way to office or craftsmen on their way to the building site pick up a "coffee-to-go".
The leaning: I think this is part of our upbringing. My mother would shout at me if I would be leaning with my fresh clothes against a wall or tree, just because it could dirty my fresh clothes (especially resin from trees is not good). Also we had mandatory military service till 2010 in Germany. If you would lean against something and your sarge would see that you would get blasted to the orbit.
Same goes for "hands in your pockets". You would be asked several questions where you could never give the right answer like: "Is your birthday today or why are you holding your candle?" Or: "Are you afraid of squirrels or why are you holding your nuts?" You could also be told that playing "pocket-billiard" is not allowed during service-hours. 🤣
yes but i noticed when ever i get myself something to drink on the way, i simply put it away until i am at my destination, be it a train, building or whatever, and drink it there instead of doing it while walking.
We didn't invent the word Wegbier without a reason, so having a drink for the way is quite normal here.
However, the leaning is pretty accurate. I can't count how often I've heard "Die Wand steht auch von alleine": the wall can stand by itself, it wouldn't collapse if you'd stop holding onto it, so stop holding it.
The first step to blend in is- that you want to be a part of the culture. It´s so cool how you realised and solved that one for you!
Love the video!! The 'American' hat is a give-away for Europeans. I have been taught not to lean against the wall growing up; either the wall is dirty or by leaning on the wall you make the wall dirty - out of respect of people their property.
Thank you for your vid, as a german person I was always very irritated about men beeing shirtless, but beeing naked in the Sauna seems always natural for me 😄
Nick, i do enjoy your angles on things that are by themselves inocuous but you connect them in an interesting way. i find myself doing the same thing as a german in the US, exept i am too lazy for youtube videos. it is not the information that is interesting, it is the insight that counts. Oh, and i eat my pretzels without butter. maybe i am a rebel?
Yes!!! The restaurant and café thing. Happened to me many times. I still feel weird just grabbing a seat...I find I try to make eye contact with an employee at the café before sitting.
Now there is one exception: If the place is quite full and you come as a small group, it is ok to approach a waiter and ask for a good spot. He will ask about how many because sometimes one or two of the group might come a bit later. But please do not stand around like a hat stand waiting for the waiter to give you a place when ten tables are empty. Occasionally the whole place is booked for a private event or something, then the waiter will tell you. Don´t be angry, just come back another day.
So you need to stare too!
@@V100-e5q Haha! I didn't think of it that way 🙂
I think this is the best way , some kind of hybrid-behave ! Observation (how do they do it here ) + Eye/face-signal of behave ........"can I sit ?"
Your second point! Thank you so much! My time in Germany this was the ONLY thing that I was not able to figure out - and now I will go back with this knowledge and feel no anxiety! Thank you again
That was spot on! My wife and I even stick out with our inherent coconut-behaviour in places like NZ or AUS, rural or urban.. We're currently in this area, so we can replicate these reactions anytime. 😄👍
I love your videos with Radical you both compliment each other so well.
😂👍
I think you really got it on point!
Honestly I have never thought about to lean at something while waiting because that is rude for me.
And right, even getting the "Brötchen" on Sunday at the bakery I would dress up and not leaving home in a casual outfit... 😂
Honestly I will miss your videos in the future!
And never forget, the way you are makes you so special and such a nice and funny guy.
Wish you all the best for your future and you will be always very welcome to Germany!!!
Leaning against stuff is a small revolutionary act of defiance in this ever fasting world. It makes that little moment deliberate and allows one to take a breath and take in ones surrounding. A creed i adhere to at least once a day. The best lean being with one leg firmly resting on top of an object that invites the deliberate leaner to just take that one more minute.
Leaners of the world assemble..here's to those moments of procrastination. Preferably in the sun^^
Yes, Leaning is like an act of defiance that has been portrayed so well by Marlin Brando and James Dean ( as in movie, Rebel Without a Cause.)
Each of your videos makes me want to visit Schwäbisch Hall. You are such a good ambassador of this town.
Beautiful metaphor to explain your view. Both - the peach and the coconut - may be desirable to people. Some prefer peaches, some coconuts, some enjoy both and sone don‘t care for either of them. That‘s life 😅
1, 2: Definitely true.
3: More about old(er)/smaller town people, I think. If you are in bigger cities where people travel around with the subway, etc. I see a lot of people drinking standing, "on the go". While older people who don't have to rush or don't like walking around a lot are seen at cafés a lot.
4: I never thought about that, but I think it is true. I wouldn't really do it at many places, becaue train/bus/subway stations tend to be really dirty.
5: True to some degree, but definitely depends on the people. I think there are more layers than just a shell and an inside.
it's always interesting to hear such observations about the "german" behaviour, as a german. 😄..there's always some truth in it. great drone shots from schwäbisch hall btw.
With the coffe to go it depends. It may not be a thing in a smaller town like Schwäbisch Hall, but here in Frankfurt it's definetly a thing.
ja hier bei uns gibt es sowas kaum
big cities are generally more "Americanised" ........in every aspect !
Hey Nick, Nic, I think i was one of the "first" "out of the under 10000" Subsribers! However! You are the Best reason for other Mericans to Think across the Borders of the "free" USA!
How Great would be the US with the European "Lifestile" "System" what ever! That you have been in love for!
Well, the infamous "German Stare"😳! I have the impression that eye contact is very important in German communication culture. I'm actually autistic and I'm very uncomfortable looking into other people's eyes, so I avoid eye contact. From an early age I've been told that eye contact is extremely important and that I should pull myself together to look the person I'm talking to straight in the eyes 👁️👁️, as is proper. 🙄
That's why I don't really fit into German society because of my disability. My advantage: Because I avoid eye contact, I usually don't even notice when someone is staring at me. 😉
(Edit: Misspellings corrected.)
Ich schaue oft auch nicht direkt in die Augen, sondern fixiere mein Blick auf die Nase oder Stirn meines Gegenübers.
@@barbarafrings9231 Diesen Trick wende ich auch an, aber es kostet viel Kraft.
@@martinmarheinecke7677
Ja, stimmt leider.
Bei mir ist es eher das Kinn oder der Hals, wenn die Leute gestikulieren auch mal die Hände. Und minimaler Augenkontakt, wenn ich direkt angesehen werde reicht meistens. Da ich in einem technischen Bereich arbeite, ist es akzeptiert, Notizen zu machen oder wenn jemand etwas beschreibt, die Augen zu verdrehen, wenn man sich etwas bildlich vorstellt
Aber es geht nicht um Kontakt, oder Kommunikation. The German Stare ist wenn man jemanden anschaut, und meistens nicht mal grüßt, bzw. grüßt zurück.
For examaple: I stare at americans when they're super loud and unpleasant at the Ubahn or Tram, in the hope that they just "get it". But mostly they don't get it. It's a german way to communicate, I think. I live in Berlin and have to stare a lot. lol. sorry not sorry. Edit: I'm a Kindergarten-Teacher and can't get out of this..
I think that is not only a German thing. In societies were you are expected to be quiet (respectful) on the tram you get looks too. Maybe not as long as in Germany, but in Asian countries they don't like you talking loud on the subway either (Japan for example).
Tbh that reprimanding look is a thing in America too. I think some Americans just don't care though lol
@@Luflandebrigade31Yes! I've been to Asia (multiply times, different countries) and think you're absolutly right. Guess Asians are just too polite to stare at "outstanding visitors".
Im 4 months late so this will probably get lost. But as a german im pretty sure i know why we stare: Especially in small citys you have a really low crime rate, so we feel just really safe about observing everything someone does, without having to fear we would get into a fight or having to keep a "low profile"
I think there was NO school in Germany in the 80s / 90s where you didn't hear from your teachers "don't lean against the wall with your feet against it, it had to be re-painted just yesterday/ just last week/ just last month/ just last year!!" 🤣🤣
or putting the feet (with shoes) on bus/train/public benches seats !!!!!! I recall a interview with Clint Eastwood in a TV-Studio putting his sneaker on low table in front of him ........was it the to keep the "Dirty Harry"-image or from playing too much Cowboy-roles ?
Thank you for the video…..you are so right😀. Me as a German I love both….peaches and coconuts👍🥰😀
You know what, you are like an apple, the perfect mix - more biting and chewing required than for a peach, but not has labour intensive as trying to get into a coconut, and yummy fruit all the way through, you can even eat the pips if you want.
As a German - American , from NYC well that stare thing is then a NY thing too. But hey peaches to coconuts I’ say I’m a Bounty Bar … BAHAHAAHAHAHA
Well, a coconut isn't exactly soft on the inside either in my opinion. Kind of tough and chewy. But sure. I think that works too.
Americans are casual with their metaphors
Depends if it's ripe or unripe (green).
well it's softer than the shell and that is what the metaphor is all about ...
I really noticed that thing about eating and drinking while walking a lot in Italy. While being German I don't particularly like eating on the go, I still do it, when I'm in a hurry. But living in Italy for some months I noticed, that this is something you would never see Italians doing. Even with something like an ice cream cone, which I would kinda always eat while walking around, Italians would maybe stand somewhere on the side of the street to eat it, but never walk. I'm sure it has something to do with food culture.
lovely video. (as always)
I heard about the peach- coconut example already. 🥥🍑😏
funny, but painfully true as well sometimes. that brings me to a probably strange question:
*what does a coconut have to do, to crack a peaches core?*
I mean I am most surtanly a coconut. but I have a few peaches as friends. But often there is this feeling, that there is a boder I can't come accross. Through "this border" it nearly seems inpossible, to deepen the friendship.
"You can not eat a coconut casually!"
😂
My new credo!
About the "casual" vs "formal" clothes, that is maybe only with streetwear.
In offices it is quite the opposite. Where USAmericans in international business go sharply dressed in suits and ties, the German dress at work in my just 3 years experience living and working in Germany very very casually.
At my job interview (where I was over an hour late, yes in Germany, but outside of my fault; the trains were not running so smoothly and I came from 250 km away) I of course wore a suit (I don't do nooses around my neck) and the guy interviewing me, 15 years my senior, literally was dressed in a faded, worn, Metallica T-shirt.
This was not in banking or so, where people dress sharper, but the high level of casual clothing was something that really stood out to me in (West)Germany.
One could say that starting a country from pretty much scratch tends to result in a culture like the American. Traditions, rules and etiquettes of formality and older cultures are not there and only the basic human desire for comfort and casualty come out instead. Add loudness and self-centered views on top and you got American culture ;)
But being casual is kind of their “etiquette” in a weird way. If you’re not pleasant and casual enough you might be looked at weird in the states
That is probably one of the most inside full clip on this topic I've ever seen
Thanks, das sind sehr erhellende Informationen. Da habe ich bisher gar nicht drauf geachtet, aber ja es stimmt.
There are some regions in Germany, where people are rather peaches than coconuts. Rheinland, Ruhrgebiet and Hamburg I'd say. But with a much softer "stone".
Wøww man, the little town you’re living is just amazing 🤩🇩🇪❣️
... to be seen through in typical German behaviors is not a shame, because behind it there are trained codes - formed by the events of one's own history.
If you want to live with perspective in the future, you have to change today.
A lesson for you and for others as well.
Your thoughts on this are exemplary; many thanks for that.
As a german I can say, this sounds quite accurate!
Casual like going to a wedding in sport clothes...in Germany and in Italy? I think the Europeans take such things a bit more seriously than the Americans. But otherwise you really are fitting into Germany well...and don't forget, perhaps the people stare at you, because you are so attraktive...for example in the Sauna :-)
walking around with a selfie stick talking into a camera also helps to get a lot of stares
Case in point, that dude was lookin at ya funny as he walked by you when you were leaning on that tree!
I'm glad you didn't point out the hollowness of a coconut 😉
😂😂
Alright Nick, who spends more time engaged in the phone stare where everything around them is oblivious to them because they are glued to their phone screen! Germans or Americans? I would think Americans win that one hands down!!LOL 😂🤣😂
I met my American fiance in another country and he said: "I bet you wear a lot of sweaters" "No, definitely not".
He tried to dress more European and ended up looking like a wall street banker from 1980 lost in a big black coat from the Soviet Era.
So some of the first plans we have when I come to the US is to update his wardrobe at least to the year 2000.
Sometimes I want to dress less formal but my brains barrier is so huge it posts a stop sign and starts an existential debate "Why would you do that? What is the meaning of this and what are the social implications of choosing this road? Sweatpants are a serious choice-are you ready to life with consequences this has for your life?"
The eye contact thing means: I acknowledge you. I see you. If somebody doesn't look back it kinda means" what you say is too irrelevant for me to pay attention to" Germans are very sensitive about that. Not looking at someone can leave a feeling like "neither your existence, nor your words have any meaning-basically it is nothing to me and you are in this moment nothing for me." Especially if you asked a question and then look away that can be way to confusing for a German. Also looking in somebodied eyes means" I am open and I wait for your feedback".
I don't know if it is common but also my partner told me that there is a lot of small talk in the US and it is not always necessary to respond. That is super frustrating for me and my answer as a German is always "why would I start talking about it if it isn't worth a response. I actually think it is the same like eye" staring" - when we share something about ourselves and don't get feedback it leaves a sense of hurt or embrassement to have ever opened our mouth. I think we are generally very philosophical in nature and if we are left with the feeling that what we said hasn't any value for the community it leaves us with the feeling that we failed and we need approval that it is also okay when we failed. Yesterday a woman asked me the way and 5 people gathered to help her because no one really knew. Also a few people asked me why we Germans say "we" and "us" "In Germany we think this way" - it is kinda like we check with everybody what we are doing is alright with the fear if not hell might break loose.
hahahaha......see my comment above !!!!
Great analogy! Had the same experience when I visited California a few months ago. Still wondering where this huge difference has its origin.
#1 giveaway which I'm surprised you didn't mention is being loud. Americans are 2nd to only the Spanish when it comes to being loud for no reason at all when just talking
YES
I really like your metaphore! 😄
Otherwise I would wish that people in general would't look out so much for differences. We are humans all around the world and we all have fundamental things in common. We all need to be loved, respected and welcomened. We all need a friendly word. And I think the world reflects back at you what you are sending out
We really need more 'cultural bridges' like you. The world would be a better one, if we all could walk in other shoes as well from time to time. Thank you for beeing so curious.
Love this video. Very informative. I'm missing Germany now.....
Great observations. Thanks for sharing that.
I so appreciate your rocking the "blockbuster" trucker hat!!! Way to fit in!!
Nice 🙂 thanks for this view from both worlds!
two things regarding the "to Go" culture: well, first of yes: we don't have that go-go quick and fast mentality and enjoy to enjoy thing and give it the proper time and room it deserves. secondly: I don't think we shove in that much stuff "in between". basically getting a super sweet starbucks in between is almost like an extra meal... that means: if you only have theses things during your proper meals and sometimes maybe a coffee as sort of a 4th little thing, you also have the time to give it the proper time :)
and I do love the peaches vs coconuts metaphor :)
there are places where you wait for the service to seat you at a table and at some you don't. I have problems with it as well and I'm german.
Interesting analysis, the key is you live in a small city and you socialise mainly with fellow Americans. So it makes it more obvious. But your peaches and coconut comparison is great. However with or without baseball caps, I would pick you as an American from 100m away
I am actually watching your videos to learn about US culture, because I will go there with my family in April and we want to blend in :)
5:40
Sometimes I stand when waiting for the bus even if there is a place to sit :D
Good Work. I mean, I fail to fit in with Germans for 29 years as a German lol. So you taught me something
i noticed the coconut metaphor implies we are hollow in the inside and tbh many are.
The "Stare" is basically just initializing/maintaining nonverbal communiation.
And leaning? Well, I guess we have to ask James Dean for that^^
It's so funny my german husband won't go for a quick run to the gas station or backeri. He always changes from his addidas running pants to jeans and sneakers not his birkenstocks. I was lucky that at the very first most Germans I met after coming here to our small town Übach-Palenberg did I ever get the stare, they all opened up to me. I don't know if this is something that would only be possible in small town compared to the city. I find Aachen like most of the other cities of the world. Let it be and you'll be fine.
See, but Aachen is in the West AND immediately located at the Dreiländereck, so that's a pretty stark contrast to people from BaWü or further south/east. As a fellow Rhinelander, I'd say we're definitely a differend breed than Swabians 😅
Only on vacation on a camp site I would go shopping in leisurely cloths. And that feels a bit weird.
Tbh the leaning thing is funny af, since where i come from (northern germany) we do it everywhere we could. xD
To the topic of staring.
Someone also brought this up, when we were young it was our number one priority to look someone in the eyes when talking to them or when they talk to you.
The moment you break eyecontact for too long you are considered disrespectful towards the person you´re talking to. Like you are trying to ignore them and don´t want to community with said person in anyway.
Notice that this doesn´t count when you are somewhat familiar with someone, lets say co workers, you are working on something and you are just shattering for fun, but even then you will look up and into the eyes of your current "talking partner".
I just came back from the States and can only but agree to your conclusions about the peaches and the coconuts....and their differences. I am German...
There are also restaurants where you get seated here Germany, of course the more busy ones :)
Yep, that is 100% true. Well put.
I mean i'm someone who doesn't like to stare and rather avoids looking directly at others (mostly due to being shy). But yeah, when you are standing out a lot its kinda natural to stare a bit i think. I can agree with all points in the video tbh and the coconut analogy is pretty cool.