I’ve been passive my entire life, out of good intention ... and I’ve done nothing but suffer for it. My mum always told me to turn the other cheek in confrontation and to always give my time and energy to helping others.. she was wrong .. all that does is attract every narcissist in the country to take advantage of you and suck the fucking life out of you until one day you take the red pill and wake the hell up. It took me 46 years. Don’t take that long guys.
I was brought up the same way. It took me 40 years to realize this. Now I can spot narcissists and Borderlines from a mile away, even seeing right through their web of manipulation as they try to layout Saddest part is knowing there are really horrible people out there that actually prey on good people
My horrible marriage, and my horrible divorce lead me down the rabbits hole of self-discovery. It was painful to look into the mirror, but in the end I came out as gold.
same here. The dead wood in the forest had to be set ablaze (which came with much pain and hardship) before the fresh new undergrowth can sprout and grow. I think when we experience these life changing hardships we can either cry woe is me life is so hard, or we can try make some good of it and use introspection to learn, evolve and change for the better. Its better to learn a life lesson from it than to just ride the pity train to victim town.
For me at it was the death of my wife, then a relationship afterwards that ended. I had to face myself and pain from my marriage and I’m on the other side now. I feel like gold, see things clearly and am learning to develop myself. Also feel much closer to God.
@@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485 I met a caucasian widower who married a Chinese lady. They seem to have a good relationship but he kept saying things like, "I like the way she treats her kids and grandkids." I feared he was rebounding into something he thought he once had and hoped could find somewhere else. Problem is when we look for something we often find something else.
You give me hope. My divorce has nearly destroyed me financially. The female contributed nothing but was entitled to half, not counting the money she stole. My health caved in but I'm getting stronger. At retirement age I don't see a lot of moves. One thing for sure, I will never cohabit with a woman unless family court laws begin to protect men (fat chance).
And for some of us, being a hermit IS the way we are supposed to be. If you don't feel like engaging with the world, screw the world. Our modern society affords us that luxury. If that's your way, there is NOTHING wrong with that.
@@ollyrattyus5545 Yeah, those chains will remain on society as long as kids continue to be indoctrinated in schools. I think what he meant though, is brake the chains on your person, not everyone.
I used to be a "Nice guy" and EVERYONE would take the piss... Men and women. Now I am cold and heartless and treat everyone like they are garbage .... I am no better or worse thought of I have noticed.. If you can't beat them... JOIN THEM. Such a shame people see "A nice person" as a weak target to take the piss out... People are just shit ..End of story
This is my path too. After a bitter ex continually called the police, social workers etc., I retreated, rarely leaving my lousy apartment, except to hike and sleep in the forest, where I could feel safe--if only long enough to get some sleep. I daily contemplated suicide. One day I read about how loneliness had more negative health outcomes than tobacco. I realized that retreat was a slow and tortuous suicide. I chose to live. I put together a legal defense fund, and prepared myself to accept any shit she sent my way. I chose to accept all the negative consequences of living a "red pill" life. Accepted that no wise person ever made a meaningful argument that it was easy to lead a good life. A good life is to expect opposition. A brave man stands tall, and says with complete dignity: "No... Thank-you."
YES! YOU must protect you. Save yourself, first. You can't do any good for yourself or anyone or anything until you defend yourself 1st! Don't short yourself. Defy your enemies, because they're ALWAYS out there.
Totally agree . I would however add something to this. It's important to recognise were you have gone wrong but it's also important to see were you have done things the right way. There are many parts of your personality which are good and you don't want to be rid of. Sometimes you did the right thing but picked the wrong person to do it with. Sometimes your ethics were good but you just didn't understand the nature of that which you were dealing with. My dad used to say "sincerity is no substitute for accuracy". If you have the wrong workshop manual you are going to run into problems.
You can also "do everything right and still lose. That's life." (Star trek TNG quote). And nomatter how much you think about the error you made, you'll never find it. Move on.
Well said human, I think becoming too passive makes you a victim who becomes resentful over time towards women. That was my experience for a long time until, I learned It's the small battles, which wins the war of setting boundaries. Now I speak my mind knowing its better than being resentful.
Also I like the idea of your work, unlike many other mgtow/ red pill channels you don't leave men angry, you leave them with the thought and choice of how to react, i'm starting to think the other channels are very toxic/ not very constructive!
Action through inaction is a particularly powerful tactic. Sometimes silence is resounding. This is only true in the right context, create that context.
After being taken to the cleaners by my ex; and many other times being used, for my utility and resources - I'm done with female nature, weaponized by feminist entitlement. For me, it's, "No more Mr. Nice Guy!
They say "nice guys finish last", and they do. Cause they're nice, men are told that if you nice you'll get "this" from women. So the truth, guys are nice so they can get a reward. And that's the frustrating part, cause you're being nice, but you can't seal deal the deal. Nice guys are constantly taken advantage of, I believe every whoever is redpilled knows about it. You like some chick, and she keeps asking you to do things for her, and you do cause you're nice. Eventually by being nice turns you into your own worst enemy. Also, just cause you're not a nice guy, doesn't mean you're not nice. I run into so many, especially women that think I'm some asshole, cause I'm not a "nice guy". The best policy that I've learned is making everything reciprocal. You give them, what they give you..
The reason gold is expensive is that it's rare and difficult to obtain and not because of its usefulness. The usefulness comes as a secondary property. The reason iron is cheap despite being the fundamental block of civilization building is because it's easily obtainable. So when a gynocentric society promoting chivalry brainwashes 90% of the men to offer their skills and time to women for nothing, it's hardly respected since women can get help from anywhere when they need it. This is why they find the assholes attractive not because of their qualities, but their rarity that they don't spend their time on others. So when you become a self respecting individual who values their skills and time and not handing it out for free, even if it comes across as rude, it will make you valuable to other people, especially women.
As a person who used to be too nice, but has embraced being very honest, I can say that people actually respond really well! It seems that people value you to the same extent that you value yourself.
If you learned by having abusive parents, caregivers, the dynamic is completely different. I had to learn how to stop blaming myself for things I couldn't control. I had to learn, because I had to understand my psychology, what's going on, so I could move on. I've learned to stop seeing things in terms of lazy and in terms of avoidance behaviors. I've learned/learning to recognize the triggers to ptsd, my angry, my fears. I've learned how to recognize what I want and how to navigate through the world to get there.
I’ve been listening to this everyday for the past few days. Always reminds me to be more grounded, actively move forward, and be interested in myself first. Thank you huMAN
Yeah, i used to believe the lie of being a nice guy. Now i cant reciprocate romanitc love, there is literally nothing left. Thanks to empowered women exercising their hypergamy. I am a man not gone his own way, but driven away from women.
This video reminds me of Dr Paul from Deep Inner Game where he talks about boundaries and why they are so important for many different reasons: Your boundaries are what gives you psychological strength. It is what lets good things in like love (which he describes as shared positive emotional energy) and keeps stress and harmful influences out. It also gives you an identity through having preferences (what you open your boundary to vs what you close your boundary "door" to. Your "yes's" and "no's" as you have mentioned.) And also helps you stop burning your time and energy on things you can't control (and also not letting the uncontrollable take control of you) which he calls "suffering". That has certainly given me a lot of freedom to pursue what I want and not be so resentful. One of your best videos yet, huMAN. I think we all need a bit of optimism from time to time. Thank you.
The smartest thing I have heard someone say lately was that "your time is the most valuable comodity you own. Don't let people steal it from you." I feel stronger just hearing that. I have a hard time giving my time value. Everyone I talk to makes me feel worthless. I have to remind myself that most people are a bad judge of character and have no idea how awesome I am. I reserve that for the people that are not rude to me.
You over estimate the impact you have on others. If you're "kicking your enemies" I think you mean youre being an ass to people on the internet who dont even care about you.
This expresses so much truth. Introspection is the key to knowing oneself. Morals and ethics grounded in true values is real freedom. It's a never ending journey.
When one grounds morals and ethics in values, then it is worthwhile. Those who think only in terms of accepting situational ethics are generally unable to understand the importance of values. Hit-and-run, on-liners are the tool of the cognitively challenged.
"Don't retreat, go forward for yourself. Nothing else matters except for you to live a good life. The world doesn't want to listen to you, doesn't want to hear the male point of view. Fine they don't have too. It's not about taking a step back, it's about moving forward and sidestepping those things that don't align with us anymore." Exactly. Keep driving your train towards your own destiny. It is your journey gentlemen. Live and enjoy it for yourself.
You nailed it,huMAN. It's the indifference that is required for us, not love or hatred towards women. Love or hatred means putting them on a positive or negative pedestal, there by spending your energy towards them, either positively or negatively. What i beleive is that i need to sort out my priorities and see the big picture. Relationships and women may be a subset of your life and it's progression but they may as well not be and your life would still be rich with so many wonderful things,and for that to happen, the priorities of my life should be re-examined objextively. Wonderful,sir!
Not sure if you intentionally did this, but you share age old wisdom from time immemorial our fathers and grandfathers used to hand down by their words and actions especially. You deliver it perfectly within the context of contemporary circumstances and the challenges we as men face, from our perspective of said contemporary context. Brilliant and well done for hitting the proverbial nail on the head, especially at this time of the prevailing gynocentrism.
Failing to let go of your acquiescent nature (even after taking the red pill) is the inability to apply life-lessons to your every day behaviour. To let go of this, you have to become aware not just of the biological nature of men and women, but acutely sensitive to realising when these moments are occurring with you. An awareness of your emotional state and behaviour on a moment by moment basis, with meaningful reflection, is the key to this. This is what I want to try to help men achieve. Another great video huMAN.
Great video and I really like how you recorded this and the location. I think some guys need to actually hear women making fun of these "passive nice guys." and realize they arent these "sweeeet little angeeeels" I actually heard it again from a girl after I spent the night at her friends this weekend. I dont feel like typing it because it doesnt feel right and I know the guy(she didn't know that) but it reminded me of when I was in my early 20s and I didn't know better
I’m rewatching this video a year later and after just ending my relationship and this hits home even harder. The shame you mention that we having after looking back at all the passive moments is what is striving me to move forward. Man, I let myself down. Thank you again Human! And I hope life is treating you well!
This has been me from getting fucked over nearly two years ago to this moment. I’ve pretty much been a ghost. Hell, I’ve literally been sleeping all my weekends away. The biggest thing is that I hate myself for allowing her to get away with humiliating and disrespecting me back then. People I talked to tried to say I was in love, but just that I was genuine and honest, and made a fool of and taken advantage of for being so. I’ve been in this dark hole for so long.
I took 4 years away from relationships after getting taken by a grifter. No broken heart, only abuse and financial ruin. Just had to get out of being jaded and figure out how TF it happened and my part in it. If I remained angry, she would still be affecting the rest of my life. "As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison." - Nelson Mandela. I re-evaluated what is was in me that put me there. Related to the passivity, I determined that I was too trusting where it wasn't deserved, laise faire, and a go with the flow attitude. I pay more attention.
Yep! Great words. I'm working on a big self-business product. It will make some good money, I enjoy the challenging work. But, I'm really towing the line of complete hermit. I'm avoiding the event horizon.... So far :)
Another awesome message! Although I would point out that "fault" is not really the right word. Responsibility perhaps? If someone deceives you that's not your "fault"; It is however your responsibility to deal with it, learn from it.
A very thought provoking video. Thank you for producing it! I too, have suffered from nice guy syndrome and have, as a result, often been taken advantage of. However, the powerful message behind this video for me, confirming my own suspicions... I LET myself be taken advantage of. It WAS my choice! I could have said. "NO!" Now I am learning to do just that. It IS my life. I CAN choose. And I can tell you, as a habitual door mat, it is hard to stand up and dust yourself down, and to realise that I don't have to justify my "No" to you, or anyone else. I AM.....! At last, I AM!!! Again, thanks for the video. Well done!
It is hard to change submissive patterns that have been baked in since childhood, and only reinforced into adulthood. Society and women exploit this, and they won't help. It's up to men to help each other if they can, and most importantly, individual men to be respectfully SELF-CENTRED about their life.... "I come first, then everyone else... thank you" Cheers for watching, Malcom.
Oh man! I've worn my passivity like a badge of honor. I mean, like it's one of my strongest virtues. How ironic is that? I can't help to feel ashamed of myself. Okay well, there's another dose of red pill. This is amazing advise and thank you very much.
I've been nice my whole life. The world has taught me that is a good way to be stepped on and taken advantage of. I refuse to become like everyone else - a bitter asshole. The knowledge of what people and women especially will do to you if you are nice is enough for me to deal with life. The world won't break me down, I'm strong enough to continue to be nice while dealing with everyone else. The best way to hurt someone is to make them realize how shitty they are by being strong and nice continuously. The world will test you, don't bend the knee. Assholes are leeches. They thrive off of validation, don't give it to them. Be yourself, and go the extra mile for your common man.
I needed this today. Been pondering what I tolerated from my ex, and agonizing over being propositioned by a female friend back then but I didn't recognize it for the opportunity that it was.
What I have found is that it is healthy to disagree, especially with women. They want a man to lead, they want you to have an opinion on things, whether positive or negative. Dont be afraid to disagree with her especially, stick to your position and she will respect you more for it. Staying in the middle ummming and aghhing doesn't do that, it makes you look weak. The amount of times I have been that passive nice guy is more times than I care to remember. There is that fear of not wanting to be disliked for whatever reason and it took me a really long time to shake myself out of that behaviour. I would still say I am nice guy, but I am certainly not passive anymore. I stick to my values and what I believe in, if people don't like it, that's their problem.
huMAN that was really enlightening. I have hid from the world for so long because of my ex and my own insecurities. Today I am better, still have room for improvement.
I respectfully reject your disregard for Dungeons and Dragons. I have found it to be a fascinating hobby for 35 years and enjoy it as I do watching your videos.
Another great piece of content explaining the extremes of the "red pill". We have just had, about a month ago in the UK , an example of what going to the bad end of the red pill extreme ends up like. The centre path is the way forward. Alot of "red pill" content creators do direct men to self improvement, however not as succinctly as this content.
I agree with most of what he said except for being kind to people. Now l don't believe in being cruel to people unwarranted but I know from experience that humans take kindness for weakness so being kind to people can end up working against an individual. I feel a neutral way of dealing with people would be more beneficial to an individual than being kind or being cruel to people. I'm respectful with people if they are respectful with me but when they become cruel unwarranted, well, I return that behavior to them and I no longer go out of my way to be kind because when I did show kindness to people I always ended up regretting it.
Every man must read or listen and take notes of: "No More Mr Nice Guy" - Robert Glover And Ethics of Character like in the old 1700s books about Self-Actualization.
And internal locus of control is about figuring out what signals you put out that let whoever think they could step over your boundaries. Know yourself well enough to know what you're telling people they can get away with with you.
@ huMAN I appreciate your encouraging thoughts of the day. Modernity has been an interesting journey in every way. You talking points are infinitely resonant. Keep up the great content.
Thanks for the video huMAN! I was going that passive road for a while now, but now you gave me something to think about and asking myself should I continue going that road.
This is what I'm going through. But now it's about dealing with depression. I'm trying very hard to break out of it but then I get super tired. And I sleeeeep. And that sleep disrupts me doing things.
Women are the least important problem associated with the Red Pill, what about the existential crisis that arises? Your videos have helped tremendously over the years, today is the day I climbed out of the Red Pill void for good.
Women are an important aspect to come to terms with though - but ONLY in relation to YOU... and this is the thing many frustrated guys can't conceptualise. They're so use to only existing in relation to female approval and nothing else. There's so little of an independent THEM there, so the red pill is pretty challenging. And often not for everyone. Really, it can lobotomise men who don't have an individual leaning or interest.
Forward is the only way. It's what I've done my best to live by, but we all ruminate from time to time. It is one thing to consider the past, it's another to be bound by it.
Waking up after years of programming and feminisation has been the THING for me. The Red Pill rage was the most creative period of my life, with writing blog articles, novels and other less important stuff. The anger was a great fuel. But I eventually ran out of it. I have this feeling that since I've been dependent on women throughout all my life I'm still looking at them for answers that I did not find yet. It 's a bitter pill to understand that they don't hold any. And if they don't, who does? Being raised with this feeling that you have to be A when in reality you should be B can make you kinda schizophrenic. I still hold on to this idea that becoming a father would make me a better man. I'm not sure it will anymore. I have a strong family instinct but I don't want to be a part of hypergamous race and waging a war everyday. I can't agree on the therapy bit though. After working with my history issues for quite some time now I know, that I've liberated myself from many false beliefs and habits. I had hit the bottom and risen higher than ever before. In order to fix the surface you need to dive deep. Sometimes very deep. That's why finding a good therapist, somebody who knows the tools specific to your problem and won't judge you, is crucial. What I do agree on is that psychology today misses the end game. There is none. There is no "Maybe it's worth to think about [...] ?" There is nothing else to seek than the usual find-a-mate-become-father-die scenario. We are left to our own devices with no guidance. There are no elders in our western culture. It's what actually drove me to watch your videos. I see in you some wisdom I was always looking for. Please continue to create those videos. You're making one hell of a change. Regards from Poland :-)
Disagree on the onset. Personally, I work in the world, but try not to succumb to the things of the world. It’s not all about “her” or “she” that makes men passive, maybe we don’t want to have the world influence us. It’s ok to be nice and passive, it’s called being gentle but shrewd.
"Be nice to girls" is the most destructive advice parents can ever give their sons.
Be nice to each other IF they are nice too you.
depends on your mission
I’ve been passive my entire life, out of good intention ... and I’ve done nothing but suffer for it. My mum always told me to turn the other cheek in confrontation and to always give my time and energy to helping others.. she was wrong .. all that does is attract every narcissist in the country to take advantage of you and suck the fucking life out of you until one day you take the red pill and wake the hell up. It took me 46 years. Don’t take that long guys.
Damn I call it the people pleasing pattern. It took me seven yrs to understand
Jeff Mcilroy took me 36 years, this last year has been a difficult but rewarding personal journey.
Amen brother! 51 years here, it's never too late to fight the good fight. All these years of getting fed the bullshit stops now!
Holy fuck! Am I the same? Although I woke up at 25... now 28 and still working on myself. So much fucking time given to others for NOTHING.
I was brought up the same way.
It took me 40 years to realize this. Now I can spot narcissists and Borderlines from a mile away, even seeing right through their web of manipulation as they try to layout
Saddest part is knowing there are really horrible people out there that actually prey on good people
True liberation is discovering that you are the prize.
My horrible marriage, and my horrible divorce lead me down the rabbits hole of self-discovery. It was painful to look into the mirror, but in the end I came out as gold.
same here. The dead wood in the forest had to be set ablaze (which came with much pain and hardship) before the fresh new undergrowth can sprout and grow.
I think when we experience these life changing hardships we can either cry woe is me life is so hard, or we can try make some good of it and use introspection to learn, evolve and change for the better.
Its better to learn a life lesson from it than to just ride the pity train to victim town.
For me at it was the death of my wife, then a relationship afterwards that ended. I had to face myself and pain from my marriage and I’m on the other side now. I feel like gold, see things clearly and am learning to develop myself. Also feel much closer to God.
@@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485 I met a caucasian widower who married a Chinese lady. They seem to have a good relationship but he kept saying things like, "I like the way she treats her kids and grandkids." I feared he was rebounding into something he thought he once had and hoped could find somewhere else. Problem is when we look for something we often find something else.
You give me hope. My divorce has nearly destroyed me financially. The female contributed nothing but was entitled to half, not counting the money she stole. My health caved in but I'm getting stronger. At retirement age I don't see a lot of moves. One thing for sure, I will never cohabit with a woman unless family court laws begin to protect men (fat chance).
I can’t believe I was a total simp, unbelievable
And for some of us, being a hermit IS the way we are supposed to be. If you don't feel like engaging with the world, screw the world. Our modern society affords us that luxury. If that's your way, there is NOTHING wrong with that.
For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit.
Feminist social engineering did a lot of damage. It's time to break the chains.
Good to say..... But the chains are hard to find let alone break.
@@ollyrattyus5545 Yeah, those chains will remain on society as long as kids continue to be indoctrinated in schools. I think what he meant though, is brake the chains on your person, not everyone.
I used to be a "Nice guy" and EVERYONE would take the piss... Men and women.
Now I am cold and heartless and treat everyone like they are garbage ....
I am no better or worse thought of I have noticed..
If you can't beat them... JOIN THEM.
Such a shame people see "A nice person" as a weak target to take the piss out... People are just shit ..End of story
Wow! I see you learned a lot from Mourinho, Mr. Wenger!
This is my path too. After a bitter ex continually called the police, social workers etc., I retreated, rarely leaving my lousy apartment, except to hike and sleep in the forest, where I could feel safe--if only long enough to get some sleep. I daily contemplated suicide. One day I read about how loneliness had more negative health outcomes than tobacco. I realized that retreat was a slow and tortuous suicide.
I chose to live. I put together a legal defense fund, and prepared myself to accept any shit she sent my way. I chose to accept all the negative consequences of living a "red pill" life. Accepted that no wise person ever made a meaningful argument that it was easy to lead a good life. A good life is to expect opposition.
A brave man stands tall, and says with complete dignity: "No... Thank-you."
YES! YOU must protect you. Save yourself, first. You can't do any good for yourself or anyone or anything until you defend yourself 1st! Don't short yourself. Defy your enemies, because they're ALWAYS out there.
Never surrender, and they will know it was our finest hour.
I did all this as well, now I'm ready to stand up and build a life of my dream.
Thank you
Totally agree . I would however add something to this. It's important to recognise were you have gone wrong but it's also important to see were you have done things the right way. There are many parts of your personality which are good and you don't want to be rid of. Sometimes you did the right thing but picked the wrong person to do it with. Sometimes your ethics were good but you just didn't understand the nature of that which you were dealing with. My dad used to say "sincerity is no substitute for accuracy". If you have the wrong workshop manual you are going to run into problems.
Very well put... yes, definitely be 'accurate' in your assessment of the situation. 👍
You can also "do everything right and still lose. That's life." (Star trek TNG quote). And nomatter how much you think about the error you made, you'll never find it. Move on.
No more Mr. nice guy...
No more Mister Clean...
He's Sick, he's obsce-hee-heen.🎶🎶🤘
There are two types of people a sucker and a motherfucker, me myself ~ Ad Kapone from Totally Insane
It's mr. bad guy time now? 🙂
You'll still be a nice guy. Its in your dna
Well said human, I think becoming too passive makes you a victim who becomes resentful over time towards women. That was my experience for a long time until, I learned It's the small battles, which wins the war of setting boundaries. Now I speak my mind knowing its better than being resentful.
Also I like the idea of your work, unlike many other mgtow/ red pill channels you don't leave men angry, you leave them with the thought and choice of how to react, i'm starting to think the other channels are very toxic/ not very constructive!
Action through inaction is a particularly powerful tactic. Sometimes silence is resounding. This is only true in the right context, create that context.
I think its particularly effective against women who seemed to solely rely on attention aka instagram,social media etc for validation lol
action thru inaction. Either we step forward or step back or do nothing. Every thing is a reaction.
After being taken to the cleaners by my ex; and many other times being used, for my utility and resources - I'm done with female nature, weaponized by feminist entitlement.
For me, it's, "No more Mr. Nice Guy!
They say "nice guys finish last", and they do. Cause they're nice, men are told that if you nice you'll get "this" from women. So the truth, guys are nice so they can get a reward. And that's the frustrating part, cause you're being nice, but you can't seal deal the deal. Nice guys are constantly taken advantage of, I believe every whoever is redpilled knows about it. You like some chick, and she keeps asking you to do things for her, and you do cause you're nice. Eventually by being nice turns you into your own worst enemy.
Also, just cause you're not a nice guy, doesn't mean you're not nice. I run into so many, especially women that think I'm some asshole, cause I'm not a "nice guy". The best policy that I've learned is making everything reciprocal. You give them, what they give you..
Well put, thanks!
The reason gold is expensive is that it's rare and difficult to obtain and not because of its usefulness. The usefulness comes as a secondary property.
The reason iron is cheap despite being the fundamental block of civilization building is because it's easily obtainable.
So when a gynocentric society promoting chivalry brainwashes 90% of the men to offer their skills and time to women for nothing, it's hardly respected since women can get help from anywhere when they need it. This is why they find the assholes attractive not because of their qualities, but their rarity that they don't spend their time on others.
So when you become a self respecting individual who values their skills and time and not handing it out for free, even if it comes across as rude, it will make you valuable to other people, especially women.
Whoa, food for thought for me, well put if I might say so, thank you.
@@Cherb123456 It is why free things do not have any respect for them. Anything that is handed out freely is not respected, including welfare handouts.
This was good. Thanks
Especially part about free things and no value for woman.
As a person who used to be too nice, but has embraced being very honest, I can say that people actually respond really well! It seems that people value you to the same extent that you value yourself.
If you learned by having abusive parents, caregivers, the dynamic is completely different. I had to learn how to stop blaming myself for things I couldn't control.
I had to learn, because I had to understand my psychology, what's going on, so I could move on.
I've learned to stop seeing things in terms of lazy and in terms of avoidance behaviors. I've learned/learning to recognize the triggers to ptsd, my angry, my fears.
I've learned how to recognize what I want and how to navigate through the world to get there.
I’ve been listening to this everyday for the past few days. Always reminds me to be more grounded, actively move forward, and be interested in myself first.
Thank you huMAN
Thank you, huMan.
I really appreciate your articulate, thoughtful, philosophical approach.
Your videos are refreshingly mature and encouraging.
Yeah, i used to believe the lie of being a nice guy.
Now i cant reciprocate romanitc love, there is literally nothing left.
Thanks to empowered women exercising their hypergamy.
I am a man not gone his own way, but driven away from women.
Not disagreeing but it sounds like you're still giving all your power to the feminine.
@@MS-dq4er How? I don't need a female to make me whole.
I am my own Sapient Sovereign Being.
It's good to he nice, honorable, trustworthy, and respected. But you cant have the other 3 if you are a door mat.
Well spoken and written Mr. huMAN
self-responsibility is THE key.
This video reminds me of Dr Paul from Deep Inner Game where he talks about boundaries and why they are so important for many different reasons:
Your boundaries are what gives you psychological strength. It is what lets good things in like love (which he describes as shared positive emotional energy) and keeps stress and harmful influences out.
It also gives you an identity through having preferences (what you open your boundary to vs what you close your boundary "door" to. Your "yes's" and "no's" as you have mentioned.)
And also helps you stop burning your time and energy on things you can't control (and also not letting the uncontrollable take control of you) which he calls "suffering".
That has certainly given me a lot of freedom to pursue what I want and not be so resentful.
One of your best videos yet, huMAN. I think we all need a bit of optimism from time to time. Thank you.
Being our own fault is a blessing, if its our fault it means its under OUR control!
own it!
The smartest thing I have heard someone say lately was that "your time is the most valuable comodity you own. Don't let people steal it from you." I feel stronger just hearing that. I have a hard time giving my time value. Everyone I talk to makes me feel worthless. I have to remind myself that most people are a bad judge of character and have no idea how awesome I am. I reserve that for the people that are not rude to me.
Very relatable
I'm not a passive MGTOW! In fact since I took the red pill I've started kicking my enemies with no pitty, no remourse, no shame
God rewards those who reward themselves.
You over estimate the impact you have on others. If you're "kicking your enemies" I think you mean youre being an ass to people on the internet who dont even care about you.
Thank you for this thought provoking video. Continue the good work self analyzing and teaching others.
This expresses so much truth. Introspection is the key to knowing oneself. Morals and ethics grounded in true values is real freedom. It's a never ending journey.
@Iulian Novac Explain please.
When one grounds morals and ethics in values, then it is worthwhile. Those who think only in terms of accepting situational ethics are generally unable to understand the importance of values. Hit-and-run, on-liners are the tool of the cognitively challenged.
Thank you for this advice, "Stop figuring it out, and and just be the man who can calmly say no"
Thanks huMAN. I kind of needed to hear that today.
Teach us to care, and not care.
-TS Elliot
One of your best videos ever....preach, brotherman.
"Don't retreat, go forward for yourself. Nothing else matters except for you to live a good life. The world doesn't want to listen to you, doesn't want to hear the male point of view. Fine they don't have too. It's not about taking a step back, it's about moving forward and sidestepping those things that don't align with us anymore."
Exactly. Keep driving your train towards your own destiny. It is your journey gentlemen. Live and enjoy it for yourself.
Good One huMAN. I get the point about wasting the years. I should have spoken up about things before the rug was pulled out from under me.
“A man who stands for nothing will settle for anything.”- Malcolm X
quite right
You nailed it,huMAN. It's the indifference that is required for us, not love or hatred towards women. Love or hatred means putting them on a positive or negative pedestal, there by spending your energy towards them, either positively or negatively. What i beleive is that i need to sort out my priorities and see the big picture. Relationships and women may be a subset of your life and it's progression but they may as well not be and your life would still be rich with so many wonderful things,and for that to happen, the priorities of my life should be re-examined objextively.
Wonderful,sir!
Not sure if you intentionally did this, but you share age old wisdom from time immemorial our fathers and grandfathers used to hand down by their words and actions especially. You deliver it perfectly within the context of contemporary circumstances and the challenges we as men face, from our perspective of said contemporary context. Brilliant and well done for hitting the proverbial nail on the head, especially at this time of the prevailing gynocentrism.
Failing to let go of your acquiescent nature (even after taking the red pill) is the inability to apply life-lessons to your every day behaviour. To let go of this, you have to become aware not just of the biological nature of men and women, but acutely sensitive to realising when these moments are occurring with you. An awareness of your emotional state and behaviour on a moment by moment basis, with meaningful reflection, is the key to this. This is what I want to try to help men achieve. Another great video huMAN.
Great video and I really like how you recorded this and the location.
I think some guys need to actually hear women making fun of these "passive nice guys." and realize they arent these "sweeeet little angeeeels" I actually heard it again from a girl after I spent the night at her friends this weekend. I dont feel like typing it because it doesnt feel right and I know the guy(she didn't know that) but it reminded me of when I was in my early 20s and I didn't know better
I’m rewatching this video a year later and after just ending my relationship and this hits home even harder. The shame you mention that we having after looking back at all the passive moments is what is striving me to move forward. Man, I let myself down.
Thank you again Human! And I hope life is treating you well!
This has been me from getting fucked over nearly two years ago to this moment. I’ve pretty much been a ghost. Hell, I’ve literally been sleeping all my weekends away. The biggest thing is that I hate myself for allowing her to get away with humiliating and disrespecting me back then. People I talked to tried to say I was in love, but just that I was genuine and honest, and made a fool of and taken advantage of for being so. I’ve been in this dark hole for so long.
I took 4 years away from relationships after getting taken by a grifter. No broken heart, only abuse and financial ruin. Just had to get out of being jaded and figure out how TF it happened and my part in it. If I remained angry, she would still be affecting the rest of my life. "As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison." - Nelson Mandela. I re-evaluated what is was in me that put me there.
Related to the passivity, I determined that I was too trusting where it wasn't deserved, laise faire, and a go with the flow attitude. I pay more attention.
Needed to hear this...
Thx huMan!
Pleasure.
BEAUTIFULLY worded here. the entire video.
Yep! Great words.
I'm working on a big self-business product. It will make some good money, I enjoy the challenging work. But, I'm really towing the line of complete hermit. I'm avoiding the event horizon.... So far :)
this is truth
The day you say no to a beautiful woman, you my friends will feel the power and control
Every time you post a video huMan, I swear it's exactly what I needed to hear and contemplate at that exact time. Thank you! Needed to hear this now.
This channel should have 1 million subscribers. Great content! 👍
Thanks, Gabriel... Cheers.
I swear he opened my eyes!
Been hooked on his videos for days now
@@marvihara7279 same! Watched quite a few videos already.
Another awesome message! Although I would point out that "fault" is not really the right word. Responsibility perhaps?
If someone deceives you that's not your "fault"; It is however your responsibility to deal with it, learn from it.
Yep - "responsibility" is another applicable word... whatever works in getting us to stop feeling powerless.👍
It's incredible how some guy on youtube can help you so much.. Thanks, man!
Great message their mate. We all end up in the hole at some point. Self awareness is the way out.
A very thought provoking video. Thank you for producing it!
I too, have suffered from nice guy syndrome and have, as a result, often been taken advantage of. However, the powerful message behind this video for me, confirming my own suspicions...
I LET myself be taken advantage of.
It WAS my choice!
I could have said. "NO!"
Now I am learning to do just that. It IS my life. I CAN choose.
And I can tell you, as a habitual door mat, it is hard to stand up and dust yourself down, and to realise that I don't have to justify my "No" to you, or anyone else.
I AM.....! At last, I AM!!!
Again, thanks for the video. Well done!
It is hard to change submissive patterns that have been baked in since childhood, and only reinforced into adulthood. Society and women exploit this, and they won't help. It's up to men to help each other if they can, and most importantly, individual men to be respectfully SELF-CENTRED about their life.... "I come first, then everyone else... thank you"
Cheers for watching, Malcom.
It’s a very liberating thing When you get past the anger as human says move forward and sidestep the things that don’t matter
Psychology comes from ancient Greece and it's original meaning was 'study of thy self'.
[citation needed]
Oh man! I've worn my passivity like a badge of honor. I mean, like it's one of my strongest virtues. How ironic is that? I can't help to feel ashamed of myself. Okay well, there's another dose of red pill. This is amazing advise and thank you very much.
I've been there, and so have many guys.
Well said.
You're a respectable dude with a good mind. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I've been a follower for a long time now. I'm grateful. Thank you.
I've been nice my whole life. The world has taught me that is a good way to be stepped on and taken advantage of. I refuse to become like everyone else - a bitter asshole. The knowledge of what people and women especially will do to you if you are nice is enough for me to deal with life.
The world won't break me down, I'm strong enough to continue to be nice while dealing with everyone else. The best way to hurt someone is to make them realize how shitty they are by being strong and nice continuously. The world will test you, don't bend the knee. Assholes are leeches. They thrive off of validation, don't give it to them. Be yourself, and go the extra mile for your common man.
Beautiful . Thank you 😊
This video really spoke to me. Thank you so much. I built a wall and stayed inside 🙏
That's very good. I will need to watch this vid again. Thanks, Human!
So Right ON huMAN .
You always hit the nail on the head Brother. Thanx
I needed this today. Been pondering what I tolerated from my ex, and agonizing over being propositioned by a female friend back then but I didn't recognize it for the opportunity that it was.
What I have found is that it is healthy to disagree, especially with women. They want a man to lead, they want you to have an opinion on things, whether positive or negative. Dont be afraid to disagree with her especially, stick to your position and she will respect you more for it. Staying in the middle ummming and aghhing doesn't do that, it makes you look weak. The amount of times I have been that passive nice guy is more times than I care to remember. There is that fear of not wanting to be disliked for whatever reason and it took me a really long time to shake myself out of that behaviour. I would still say I am nice guy, but I am certainly not passive anymore. I stick to my values and what I believe in, if people don't like it, that's their problem.
huMAN that was really enlightening. I have hid from the world for so long because of my ex and my own insecurities. Today I am better, still have room for improvement.
Some good reminders in this video. Thanks
Excellent advice!!!
I respectfully reject your disregard for Dungeons and Dragons. I have found it to be a fascinating hobby for 35 years and enjoy it as I do watching your videos.
And it can be a great tool for self-discovery too! Your characters (especially themes repeated in them) are a great inspiration for self-reflection.
Another great piece of content explaining the extremes of the "red pill". We have just had, about a month ago in the UK , an example of what going to the bad end of the red pill extreme ends up like. The centre path is the way forward. Alot of "red pill" content creators do direct men to self improvement, however not as succinctly as this content.
All I can say is THANK YOU.
Wow!!! My goodness, did I need to hear that!!! Thanks man.👌🏾👍🏾😎
As always great content...
I agree with most of what he said except for being kind to people. Now l don't believe in being cruel to people unwarranted but I know from experience that humans take kindness for weakness so being kind to people can end up working against an individual. I feel a neutral way of dealing with people would be more beneficial to an individual than being kind or being cruel to people. I'm respectful with people if they are respectful with me but when they become cruel unwarranted, well, I return that behavior to them and I no longer go out of my way to be kind because when I did show kindness to people I always ended up regretting it.
Brilliant and sound advice as always. It is easy to become cloistered away. Remaining neutral towards women is definitely best but it isn’t easy.
The best philosophy yet friend. Why hang on to that garbage aye. Excellent work boss.
Great insight. Thank you 😊
Great one sir
Thank you huMAN i needed to hear this
Best channel ever. Thank you.
Every man must read or listen and take notes of: "No More Mr Nice Guy" - Robert Glover
And Ethics of Character like in the old 1700s books about Self-Actualization.
ive noticted men that play video games are shammed by others . when i stopped caring what other people thought of me something changed in a good way
Your words are impactful 👍
And internal locus of control is about figuring out what signals you put out that let whoever think they could step over your boundaries.
Know yourself well enough to know what you're telling people they can get away with with you.
Good stuff Human!
I needed this - thank you
@ huMAN
I appreciate your encouraging thoughts of the day. Modernity has been an interesting journey in every way. You talking points are infinitely resonant. Keep up the great content.
You’re one of the most authentic leaders on TH-cam. Thx for the content man. Always makes me think.
Outstanding! Thank you so much for this.
Thanks for the video huMAN!
I was going that passive road for a while now, but now you gave me something to think about and asking myself should I continue going that road.
This is what I'm going through. But now it's about dealing with depression. I'm trying very hard to break out of it but then I get super tired. And I sleeeeep. And that sleep disrupts me doing things.
Hey please go to reddit and search for keto and depression. Many have succeeded in overcoming it. It can be overcome. All the best !
@@prashanthb6521 Sadly some of us cant afford to go all out and do it. We often forget others have limitations in life.
Women are the least important problem associated with the Red Pill, what about the existential crisis that arises? Your videos have helped tremendously over the years, today is the day I climbed out of the Red Pill void for good.
Women are an important aspect to come to terms with though - but ONLY in relation to YOU... and this is the thing many frustrated guys can't conceptualise. They're so use to only existing in relation to female approval and nothing else. There's so little of an independent THEM there, so the red pill is pretty challenging. And often not for everyone. Really, it can lobotomise men who don't have an individual leaning or interest.
Forward is the only way. It's what I've done my best to live by, but we all ruminate from time to time. It is one thing to consider the past, it's another to be bound by it.
Waking up after years of programming and feminisation has been the THING for me. The Red Pill rage was the most creative period of my life, with writing blog articles, novels and other less important stuff. The anger was a great fuel. But I eventually ran out of it.
I have this feeling that since I've been dependent on women throughout all my life I'm still looking at them for answers that I did not find yet. It 's a bitter pill to understand that they don't hold any. And if they don't, who does? Being raised with this feeling that you have to be A when in reality you should be B can make you kinda schizophrenic.
I still hold on to this idea that becoming a father would make me a better man. I'm not sure it will anymore. I have a strong family instinct but I don't want to be a part of hypergamous race and waging a war everyday.
I can't agree on the therapy bit though. After working with my history issues for quite some time now I know, that I've liberated myself from many false beliefs and habits. I had hit the bottom and risen higher than ever before. In order to fix the surface you need to dive deep. Sometimes very deep. That's why finding a good therapist, somebody who knows the tools specific to your problem and won't judge you, is crucial.
What I do agree on is that psychology today misses the end game. There is none. There is no "Maybe it's worth to think about [...] ?" There is nothing else to seek than the usual find-a-mate-become-father-die scenario. We are left to our own devices with no guidance. There are no elders in our western culture. It's what actually drove me to watch your videos. I see in you some wisdom I was always looking for.
Please continue to create those videos. You're making one hell of a change.
Regards from Poland :-)
Disagree on the onset. Personally, I work in the world, but try not to succumb to the things of the world. It’s not all about “her” or “she” that makes men passive, maybe we don’t want to have the world influence us. It’s ok to be nice and passive, it’s called being gentle but shrewd.
Don't be a nice guy, be honest that is much better.
The power of the word “No” is so liberating and empowering.........especially when said to women
Thank you!