sometimes I think we grandify areas in life, where we don't want to fully process the stomach-sick pain of really taking them in. So, I almost think grandifications (grandiosities) in our outlook signify areas of heightened avoidance, where we don't even really know the pain... and where the "trauma" is largely in the resistance of letting it in, as opposed to the thing itself. Sometimes the wall of resistance is worse than the thing itself. Sometimes the ego fragmentation and dissociation is not really the thing itself, but the woosy anticipation that keeps us from actually swallowing the boulder of the thing itself. This may not be 100% true, but I think there's an important percentage of truth in the idea that sometimes the aversive grandified anticipation of a thing is worse than the thing itself. So we should have our radar in understanding that very instense often means blown up (grandified, grandiosity), and that this is largely a lens of anticipation and not actually digesting the thing itself. THis is where I see a major connection between the psychology of phobias and personality disorders. I say this, because I think these are the same or similar lenses that create the grandiosities of narcissism... so it's also important, I think, to consider that the various personality disorders may have a lot of lens-work in common.
Yessss. My biggest fear was always rejection, until I started thinking about it. The rejection itself, at least now at this point in life, isn't that bad. It hurtd ofc, but I'll live. However, the thought of rejection became larger than life
@@superanxietychick7035 Panic disorder is also similar. We underestimate how severe and almost violent our own aversive visceral anxieties are. In the end, we're not dealing with the thing itself, but our own internal violence in protecting us. So I do wonder if, maybe for all personality disorders, we need to develop a more honest approach to learning our own avoidant internal processes... combined with exposure therapy.
@@superanxietychick7035 It's funny b/c I was diagnosed w NPD, but anxiety has actually been a major part of my struggle... and slowly I learned that I tend to blow things way out of proportion... and I'm still working on it. I'm sure that deep inside the machine language of my personality, I have a lot of the components of Avoidant PD
@@pdquestions7673 I dont know if you got to see my video AVPD vs NPD. I did get it from Vaknin, but I see how both can be very similar. I've heard from more with NPD that before diagnosis they thought of Avpd and vice versa. Me too btw.
Thank you for this video.
“We all have the same toxic shame”
Straight to the heart of the matter. ❤
Thanks for posting
sometimes I think we grandify areas in life, where we don't want to fully process the stomach-sick pain of really taking them in. So, I almost think grandifications (grandiosities) in our outlook signify areas of heightened avoidance, where we don't even really know the pain... and where the "trauma" is largely in the resistance of letting it in, as opposed to the thing itself. Sometimes the wall of resistance is worse than the thing itself. Sometimes the ego fragmentation and dissociation is not really the thing itself, but the woosy anticipation that keeps us from actually swallowing the boulder of the thing itself. This may not be 100% true, but I think there's an important percentage of truth in the idea that sometimes the aversive grandified anticipation of a thing is worse than the thing itself. So we should have our radar in understanding that very instense often means blown up (grandified, grandiosity), and that this is largely a lens of anticipation and not actually digesting the thing itself. THis is where I see a major connection between the psychology of phobias and personality disorders. I say this, because I think these are the same or similar lenses that create the grandiosities of narcissism... so it's also important, I think, to consider that the various personality disorders may have a lot of lens-work in common.
Yessss. My biggest fear was always rejection, until I started thinking about it. The rejection itself, at least now at this point in life, isn't that bad. It hurtd ofc, but I'll live. However, the thought of rejection became larger than life
@@superanxietychick7035 Panic disorder is also similar. We underestimate how severe and almost violent our own aversive visceral anxieties are. In the end, we're not dealing with the thing itself, but our own internal violence in protecting us. So I do wonder if, maybe for all personality disorders, we need to develop a more honest approach to learning our own avoidant internal processes... combined with exposure therapy.
@@pdquestions7673totally agree. For me, the shadow questions revealed that, but it can be something different for someone else.
@@superanxietychick7035 It's funny b/c I was diagnosed w NPD, but anxiety has actually been a major part of my struggle... and slowly I learned that I tend to blow things way out of proportion... and I'm still working on it. I'm sure that deep inside the machine language of my personality, I have a lot of the components of Avoidant PD
@@pdquestions7673 I dont know if you got to see my video AVPD vs NPD. I did get it from Vaknin, but I see how both can be very similar. I've heard from more with NPD that before diagnosis they thought of Avpd and vice versa. Me too btw.