Tips on How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Friendships and Relationships from a Clinical Psychologist

How can I set healthy boundaries in my friendships? How should I tell my friends about my boundaries? Clinical psychologist and educator Dr. Han Ren teaches us about the importance of setting boundaries in our relationships and how to express our needs. In this expert video, we’ll learn three tips to protect and express our boundaries in our friendships, practice saying no, and protect our friendships with communication.
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[@Hasbi-Allah]

Before talking about issues I 1. self-scan first (in control of my emotions)
2. Is it a good time
3. Reasons and priority,short and sweet
It took me 20 years to learn 😞

[@sunshinenOJ]

important to start any conversation with how much you value the other person. What are they doing right? Eg I look forward to our time together today, because I knew that you were a safe person for me to be myself around. And let them respond to that, because this softener is not just a trick, if you saye it from your heart.
Even before expressing boundaries it can help deepen the relationship by doing some inner exploration. Express to them what their friendship means to you. You can even include what the doctor says which is friendships often don't get the attention that they need to keep strong.
Prepare beforehand. Your uncomfortable feelings are alarm signals that your values have been disrespected, by yourself or others. You have probably let other people squeeze those values as well, don't dump all of that pain on your friend.
Identify these values so you can communicate them to others and yourself in the future! Don't blame the other person for all your discomfort. It can help to express to that other person that you own your part. In the past if you have let issues slide, which made that person think their behaviour was okay. own your part, that you allowed your values to get squeezed farther than you like, which created a portion of those uncomfortable feelings. Eg. In the past when I have been waiting Beyond our appointed time, I have been upset but keeping it to myself. I wish I had told you that waiting around makes me wonder and doubt if you are on your way or if something happened to you. So I have felt stressed when you came in the door, but I just wanted to have a good time so didn't bring it up.
I am trusting that our friendship is valuable enough to both of us that we can be honest about things that stress us, and look for a solution."
Be prepared that they may have things they have been holding in too, and now will Express them. Don't take it as retaliation. You might want to even encourage them to express it now.

[@headspace]

We love this perspective - thank you for sharing. 🧡

[@IreneL]

Beautifully put. Very helpful.
That is why we need to work on ourselves first.
I understood myself and others better when I learned about codependency, emotions and, boundaries on a whole new level from Andrew Kenneth Fretwell's book, Emotional Alchemy: The Love & Freedom Hidden In Painful Feelings
Here is a quote that stayed with me:
"Do you ever find yourself saying "yes" to things you don't really want to do, or feeling guilty about saying "no" to others? This can be a sign of an Earth imbalance within you.
The Earth Phase also has a lot to do with our sense of boundaries - our ability to confidently say "no" and "yes" in a balanced way. When we can calmly decline things that don't serve us, or embrace things that do, we're embodying the qualities of a strong Earth. When boundaries are not clear it is easy to experience disappointment and manipulation."

[@mjowsey]

Short, sweet and beautifully put. TY

[@headspace]

You're welcome!

[@gihanrady1837]

Thank you, doctor🌸

[@headspace]

👏

[@auntyamelia6906]

Thankyou Doctor🕊️

[@headspace]

🙌

[@roelandfernandezroos]

This is really helpful

[@headspace]

We're glad to hear it!

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

👌🏻👍🏻🙌🏻

[@ankurvid90]

Thanks, doc. You're really beautiful.