The superficial aspect gets to me the most. Everything is fake. People, relationships, even food. Nothing is satisfying...you’re always left wanting more.🙁 Soma & consumerism are good distractions...but not enough to fill the void.
yes it sucks we are being kept in a childlike dependency and never allowed to GROW UP natives had rites of passage we lost all of that life becomes MEANINGLESS we are not just consumers but that[s what they want us to be CON SUMERS how awful
Given the superficial and selfish nature of so much of what is on TH-cam and the rest of the internet too, it is such a breath of fresh air to see and hear someone communicating basic decency. Thank for putting this out there.
Being someone who has struggled with ptsd/suicidal thoughts, I can honestly say the common words from friends means way more than the over educated words from a doctor. I have had complete strangers save me with a knowing smile while standing in queue at the grocery store, or a friendly greeting in passing. We interact with many people every day, and we have no idea of what they are going through. A smile, a hello, can have a huge impact on a lot of lives. Thanks for making this video!
Thanks for your wisdom Brian! Oh how everyone needs to be reminded ‘I have no idea what that guy/woman is going through. If she/he could do with a smile, it’s the least I can do.’ Very valuable advice!
My daughter took her life in 2019. She had lived with mental illness for many years and I feel it all just became too much for her. My MD said, our minds are very individual. Because of that what fulfills one of us may not another. I miss her very much, she was a true friend until those last few weeks. I could see she was not seeing a doctor, that she was not taking her medication, and that she was using recreational drugs to "dull the pain." I tried to reach her, but she refused me. The last thing I said to her was, "I love you!" If you have a mental illness, please, please speak with someone! Thank you for sharing this, it might help just one person AND, THAT would be wonderful. Hug the dog for me. Stay safe.
I am so sorry for your loss. To lose one's child is the the greatest pain imaginable. My 36 year old son lost his life to suicide 8 years ago. He had struggled with a serious mental illness for many years. My son would not take his medication. Peace to you.
After losing 2 brothers, I started thinking about where I'm going in life, I want to sell everything and hit the road. I am tired of being bound to a job I don't enjoy anymore and tired of paying a mortgage. I am sorry for your loss, and well said, your words mean a lot.
I too am at that crossroads, I'm 64 but the road is calling me... planning and preparing over the next 9-10 months. The strongest advice I have received is to have a nest egg for emergencies. I've finally saved up about 8K, maybe I'll reach 15 to 20 if I stay frugal. 👍😻🙃🥰😁
Quitting the rat race is easier than you can imagine. I'm a vagrant, have been this way for years, and, I just did it, no selling up (nothing to sell). I live on the road and meet interesting and generous people. I move with my animals and go as and when I please. No regrets, other than wishing I'd done this sooner!
You are an articulate, compassionate and inspiring young man well done I hope your message gets the audience it deserves. It’s so sad about your cousin.
It's all right not to fit in. It's all right to walk away from a dysfunctional environment, whether personal or professional. It's all right to give certain people the finger from time to time too. Just be yourself and don't worry about what others think.
Such wise words Dan. Having severe depression years ago, I was so close to ending my misery, but it was the thoughts of what would happen to my animals, that stopped me. Fast forward >>>> I could not be happier than I am now........I did something similar to you, by moving up to Scotland & ‘starting a new life’ What a kind soul you are......we all could do with a Daniel in our lives x
I think a lot of people are overwhelmed these days. We have too often traded meaningful connections to people and places for collections of "followers" and photos of random events we hardly experienced. We are bombarded with the worst of global news and stressed about thing out of our control, and no longer consider the routine and simple acts like cooking our meals and sharing them with friends/family. From one lucky bastard to another, thank you for your channel and reaching out to the world.
Daniel, you have a great gift of insightfulness which is complimented by your remarkable ability to express yourself. Listening to you speak is a little like listening to poetry. Best wishes.
About a month ago, my autistic daughter (we're in Ireland too) tried to commit suicide. The Mental Health help here, at least in our area, might as well have not existed. Due to the lockdown she couldn't physically SEE anyone and her autism meant therapy over the phone was difficult. The therapist was overwhelmed with patients and let her know it. This made her feel guilty about taking up his time. That, coupled with the obviuos fact he'd no idea how to deal with an autistic person, meant she gave up on the therapy. My husband and I keep close watch over her but we've none of us any help. The overweening Government restrictions have a lot to answer for. I'm sorry for your loss. I believe you, yourself, would have made a good therapist. But sometimes the help everyone is told to ask for simply isn't there. I hope everyone remains in good physical and mental health in these times. We don't get a second chance, so if you're struggling, please try and hang in there. Nothing stays the same forever.
Trish, I don't know if this will be any use but I'm autistic and have been suicidal, and talking therapies following the lines of the book 'Mind Over Mood' by Greenberger and Padesky really helped. In the absence of anything else, it might be worth looking at. Best wishes to you and your daughter.
Dear Trish, so sorry to hear of the difficulties your daughter and yourselves have been facing. I will pray for you all. I have a twenty year old daughter who has Down Syndrome and autism. We will try to take her out more now the weather has improved. Cycling is a blessing. She also enjoys watching DVDs. It will be good if your daughter can meet up with friends. The lockdowns and experimental jabs are very damaging. I hope you are able to avoid them. All the best, Pat
@@patriciahollinrake9717 Thanks Pat, for your prayers and kind words. All the best to you and yours too. These are terrifying times we're living in and I suspect many are suffering quietly, alone. Take care and thank you.x
"Nothing stays the same forever" is a hopeful thought Trish. Sadly in these threatening times many fear any change could be for the worse. My own way of coping throughout that isolation with acute anxiety was to to be resigned, to accept l may contract whatever it is that's been spread, so if l AM going to be a gonner, l may as well make the best of each and every day, fixing my mind on a trivial creative project - to make myself finish a small task and feel self rewarded. l made food shopping a mission focussing on cooking the style l'd once enjoyed dining out. By repeating this technique of my mind "looking forward" to a treat or a finished DIY/ garden task, l felt the excitement daily in my stomach replacing the knots until l felt brave enough to plan a future trip abroad So what Daniel has said is absolutely spot on. My other point for anyone who's despair has got to the point of panic or feeling they are losing control is that they do urgently need the very best professional support
> Quotes > Quotable Quote Ralph Waldo Emerson “What is success? To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate the beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch Or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Joseph Keenaghan: That is a helluva quote. When l feel any self doubt, if shunned by the not so intelligent surrounding me, but l continue to win the affection of children, l know l'm okay 👏
Maybe packing a bag and chucking it on your back is a good way forward- I also packed a bag when in a crap place and when packing the bag I booked a ticket to Australia, 2 of the best years of my life. 15 years on I now live in New Zealand permanently and happily married. If you’re in a shit spot people, there’s a whole world out there, you just got to make it happen.
This video comforted me so much, Daniel... I've been working a dead end job for several years, working just to survive. I end the week with exhaustion and overwhelming stress... Even after working overtime, my family asks me when I will finally go to college and start my life. Long story short, I don't feel the desire to get into that much debt just to get an unsatisfying higher paying job. One decision has been torturing me. Should I get a degree in the only thing I am good at and put my talents to good use, or should I pursue my dream? My dream for living self sustaining in the woods abroad has felt more like a illusion. Something I cannot reach purely because of my own fear of disappointing others as well as doubting my own ability. All I know is that I cannot keep living this way. Some souls are meant for different things and different ways of life and that is ok. Your words were incredibly encouraging and I'm very grateful. Thank you for your wisdom even through the loss that you are experiencing. Thank you for mossy bottom!
Sorry for you loss man. I can empathise with you. My bother hanged himself 3 years ago and it almost destroyed the rest of our family. My elderly parents found John. He was going through mental torture. A suicide is so much harder to deal with. I struggle to this day with it.
We lost dad tragically in 2002. He suffered with bi polar and he was the one suffering for years... We never got angry about his decision we obviously were devastated but in the end I finally got solace just from the simple fact that he wasn't suffering anymore. But boy do I miss him to this day.. But I'm blessed to have called him dad and been his daughter... The physical aspect of him not being around is the hard one to deal with but thankfully on a spiritual level I believe we are never far from our loved ones... Life wouldn't be worth all the hassle if there wasn't more to it all... What would be the point... I can relate to how you said it affected your family... We all did the what if and I should have done or said... I believe dads decision was made regardless... I for one don't or didn't expect him to continue suffering just to keep us all ticking along nicely... Anyway God bless you and your family... The years fly by but we still honour them by never forgetting them... Love endures
Yes, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. So sorry for your cousin, you can pray for him, we don't disappear when we leave our bodies, the Soul is indestructible. We should Pray daily for loved one's it Really helps them,
An old friend of mine once told me about his friend who had attempted suicide. Once out of the hospital, he dropped everything and drove him up to the Lake District where they spent a few weeks. I'm not sure exactly what they did up there, but it definitely helped him. I'm also sure that the actions of my friend taking him there showed him how much he cared for him.
I am sorry for your loss. In my life also was many ups and downs. When I was down I was thinking about my grandparents. The country, where I was born (Hungary) was standing on the wrong side during the WWII. My grandparents didn't have anything to do with that, but they had to pay the price. They were 18 years old when they had to leave everything behind, and had to suffer 5 years in Siberia. 5 years later without even a pair of shoes they had to start their life over again. And they did. And they provided a good life to their children. Working hard and enjoy the life. Find the reason to smile every day and I have never heard them to say, ahhh, life is hard. Looking forward. Find a purpose. From down you can only go up. So like I said I also had many ups and downs but I find a reason every day to wake up and I never forget when I am down, tomorrow will be up, and when I am up, I am happy but I know, tomorrow I can be down again. Nothing is stable in our life, everything is changing all the time, the biggest mistake is when we try to make, create some fix point in our life. That just doesn't exist. We are not owning anything and anyone. And we have to be flexible as well, because, like I said, everything is changing all the time around us. Those suffer the most, who are looking for something fix, something, what will be there forever and stays the same. The real meaning of our life is to change, evolve, and to live in the present.
The unintended consequence of suicide is it puts family members at risk. The chances are greater that they will do the same. You may not be able to invite your cousin to come see a different way of life, perhaps sharing your way of life with his family might make a difference
Well said Daniel. I had a cousin who threw herself off a sea cliff, she was a nurse, the youngest of a very large family, but her spirit wanted to play the flute, sing and walk the mountains.... it is very difficult to go against what society / family expect you to do, but one must... Well said Daniel.
I deeply appreciate your feelings of compassion for your cousin. It’s heartbreaking to lose someone in that way. I have dealt with mental illness for my whole life (59 yrs), and it’s a daily battle. No matter what you choose to do, or what your circumstances may be, it never goes away. Brain chemistry is brain chemistry. Sometimes in the depth of depression, things are so dark that you can’t see out, and you can’t remember life ever being good. I think for many people who feel suicidal, the main desire is to end the pain they are feeling. They aren’t thinking about their families, or their jobs, or any possibilities for change. They just can’t live with the agony. Helping someone with mental illness is a long-term commitment. Making one phone call probably won’t change much. Deciding to stay in touch with them regularly and relatively frequently would be much more effective. Listening without judgement is essential, as is not giving advice about “if you do this it will fix it.” Let them know that you care about them and you are interested in how they are doing. And keep it up.
Yes!!! So true. And what I've found recently: there is something deeply encouraging in what modern trauma therapy offers - body focussed/ -centred approaches that really seem to get to the bottom of where our brain chemistry got dysregulated and how it can be changed. Without antidepressants. And without years of only talking about analysing our thought patterns, or mind. I can highly recommend these books and checking out interviews with their authors here on TH-cam: The Body Keeps The Score (Bessel v.d. Kolk) The Invisible Lion (Benjamin Fry) Waking The Tiger (Peter Levine) Life givers!
Thank you, Daniel. I am so glad that we are able to talk openly about suicide, unhappiness, mental illness and addictions these days. I lost my brother to suicide almost 20 years ago. I still think about what I could have said or done, but he was in the grasp of alcoholism and that certainly complicated the relationship with friends and family and even himself. I'm so sorry for the loss of your cousin.
I think your discovery of "dirt therapy" is what helped you, and what many are finding is a very important part of overcoming the mental stress so many face. It is a scientific fact that enzymes in the soil help our physical and mental well-being.
As a hydroponic enthusiast, I think the therapeutic value is derived from the stillness of plant life and the satisfaction of seeing plants grow & either eating or sharing the fruits & flowers of our labour.
Here in Ireland, generational trauma is something that's only mushrooming on people's consciousness... It would be nice to imagine a statesman in Ireland speaking like you have on this subject.. Godbless
You are truer and wiser than any number of framed certificates on the wall, Daniel. Don’t blame yourself for not knowing your cousin needed you in his sad hours; his death has given you the incentive to speak out and perhaps reach and help someone else who needed your wise words. Keep doing your wonderful gardening; I am so inspired by you. I’m just starting on my own garden journey, having moved to western Massachusetts less than a year ago. God bless, Daniel.
Correction; you ARE as important as the worm in the soil. Not insignificant, but as significant as everything else. This was a lovely video thanks for sharing. Touching. Also, I feel you are very spiritual ;)
Beautiful. Struggled with this all my life. Sometimes, though, those struggles are imposed and far more difficult than most can understand. Being sane in an insane world is not for the feint of heart..
I enjoyed listening to your words, however I feel I need to tell you that you are significant Daniel, and you are much more important than a worm in the soil!
I appreciate your words and taking the time to share them. However, I've been suicidal many times in my life. The feeling in that moment of deciding to go through with it or not, for me, is despair. When being completely consumed with that feeling, nothing seems possible. I understand it's a mental challenge to pull oneself out of that feeling of hopelessness, but It isn't an easy thing to do at the time. I'm not sure why people don't reach out in that critical moment, but many people simply can't.
I had a GP that was so kind and caring..also felt she did more for me by being a real person rather than her 'role' as Dr. I finally confided in her and told her about the prolonged abuse I was living in from a parent and whole family unit. The moment I reached out to her I let light inside my dark place..and I was nolonger facing it alone.someone who i trusted knew..knew where I was and my chest felt lighter. My face more relaxed ..I was no longer alone. And this gave me hope first and foremost but also strength from the outside. Daniel..you are insightful and know your audience ..there is a connection to being trapped which I am sure stems from a search for our unique self..the frustrations ..expectations of others ..and how it effects our dynamics within our personal circle and the world. It is one thing to be living your 'dream life'..but quite another to pause and offer a light for others to beable to see their way too. Daniel..Your time and words will leave plenty of wisdom and light for those who come on that train after you.. YOU FORGOT TO MENTION..that those are the kind of things we can leave behind after we are gone. Perhaps there can be some book to compile by this conversation about life Daniel. My heart felt condolenses to you and your family. You made some important points here to help everyone. Thank you my dearest friend .Liyax
The hardest thing to do is admit to others what we feel are our failures. We hide our deepest despair because we fear their disappointment or judgment.
Sadly, I think many people become uncommunicative when they are low and the lower you go, the worse it gets. I know I’m like that. It’s only when you start resurfacing that you are able to talk about it. Some are more transparent and, even if they say nothing, you are able to notice that something is off, but some will never betray their mental turmoil, not even family or close friends. It’s a tough one.
Dear Daniel, I just wanted to comment and say I'm sorry for your family's loss. The statistics for suicide in young men is truly heartbreaking. A friend who got me through some of those tough high school years recently took his own life. We hadn't talked in years but his death shocked me to the core. I've really struggled with the news and as I say, we didn't even know each other in our 'adult' lives. It's just such heartbreaking news to receive, no matter how well you knew them. I wanted to say thank you for your words on your cousin having the right to end his own life. It was HIS life. Comments and thoughts about how it's unfair of him to leave his children are so unhelpful and probably very hurtful to his family. It's hard to imagine the pain your family must be feeling, harder still to imagine the pain that someone must truly be in to leave their wife and children. I hope it's something I'm never going to experience, but if I did I'd hope for a bit of understanding of that kind of despair. Best wishes and peace to you and your family
Just putting on a backpack and walking is definitely not safe for women. *not in the US, at least But I understand the pull of that desire. Many times I have wanted to. Now I'm no longer capable of beginning that route. An old friend of mine killed himself last Sept. (2020) I am still haunted and so very sad about it. And yet understand that draw as well. Life hammers people. Some harder than others. And it's relentless. I know this despair and devastation. I am living it daily. Thank You for sharing your thoughtful words, and I am sorry for your loss. May his memory be a blessing. 🌿🕊️💕
Very beautifully put Daniel! The purpose of life is to live! There is no other purpose and there are no other goals! All goals are in the future and life is always now. Live it totally!
I wish TH-cam had a ‘Love’ button!! Every word you said was profound and absolutely spot on! Life is a precious gift and because if that, I chose to do almost exactly what you did, a few years ago.... I quit my job, sold up, packed up, bought raw, untouched by human hand, land in Europe, packed up my self converted ex school bus and drove over 2000 miles away from family, friends, all my loved ones and and everything in the world that I knew and had known my whole life...to build myself my dream homestead... it’s been incredibly hard work, literally blood, sweat and tears...I’m totally skint, I’m totally knackered, I’m always covered in muck, mud, oil or paint, my to do list is written in a roll of wallpaper, there’s never enough hours in a day, there’s always something that needs fixing, replacing, building, I have waaaay more (rescue) animals than I ever intended for..... and I absolutely bloody love it! Thankyou so much, for the video and I’m deeply sorry for your loss. Much love, light and a big ol’ bag of sunshine, from my lovely homestead, to yours 😊
All I can say is a simple but deeply heartfelt thank you for your wise words. They grasp the essence of truth and compassion. May your words impact those who are experiencing desperate turmoils . I admire your profound understanding of those suffering and your encouraging message for them to transcend their despair.
The lack of motivation, identity, community, and the stress of the "pandemic" are ruining the lives of millions of people. I'm sorry for your loss, God bless you and your family.
You think well. You gather your thoughts well. You articulate those thoughts well in a calm and unhurried manner that comes across very well. All of the above apply to your normal posts as a gardner/ smallholder, but equally so in this case on a subject that would be less familiar to you...and I find this to be very impressive.
I’m sorry your cousin chose to leave this world.. no one will ever understand his choice.. I lost my nephew last October, he was 19. I don’t understand why..at 62 I recognize the times I considered leaving.. I did not.. glad I am here, have had wonderful experiences and enjoying life. Thank you for your message.
My husband's brother took his own life a little over one year ago (USA) and my brother, my only sibling, took his three years ago. My brother was an alcoholic and had suffered from a mental disorder for years. I quit saying that suicide was the cause of his death. Alcoholism and mismanaged mental illness are what took his life. In addition to your great video here, I would add this. Recognize and seek help with any addictions, find a mental health professional that really cares, and THEN find that thing in life that makes you happy. Take control of your life! Thank you for this video. It surprised me, but I'm so glad you made it!
Unfortunately , most of the time we don’t know if we want to go down a certain path. I got a Business Degree and thought I wanted to open my own business but in turns out it’s not what I wanted working 15 hours a day every day. Now I trying something else and I am still not sure if it’s what I want completely.
Finding out what you don't want, could be as useful as chasing a dream. It might take you longer to get where you need to be, but all what you have learned, will be of use.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I love everything you've said, especially the idea that if you're standing on the precipice you have nothing to lose by "looking around," like changing career, or taking a journey. I also add that happiness is a great and often fulfilling life goal, but it doesn't have to be _the_ (only) goal. Maybe that offers some new directions to look, if someone finds that happiness just isn't doing it for them.
Happiness is different for different people.... I find happiness in wilderness with nature but others find happiness with materialistic ideologies. I smile and laugh alot but inside I'm sad who is truley happy we will never know
My cousin took her own life 20 years ago, we were like sisters growing up. She left 4 children, the ripples on our family are still felt today. The sadness never goes, she would have been a grandma now, I just wish one of us could have helped her. If only she would have realised the gapping hole she left. Sorry for your family’s loss, and my heart goes out to your cousins children 💚
@@AlexandraAndStuff what I heard Daniel say is that BEFORE you jump to the ultimate escape - maybe try eliminating some things less drastic. Even putting space between yourself and people or getting rid of possessions or turning into a new you would be better than quitting altogether.
Thank you. I am so depressed because my wife of 24 years didn't want to live because she had chronic illness that would have taken her life. I am devastated. I knew it was coming but not as fast as I had thought. I like the train analogy, I'm am holding tight to my chair, just missing my partner. My condolences to you and your family.
Your commentary was heartfelt and spot on. My husband’s dearest friend from childhood, best man at our wedding, and our life long friend also took his own life and it was a very sad, terrible thing to have happened. We hadn’t seen him for awhile as his life went a different direction and he went with a different crowd of people. We were left thinking the same things, if only we could have talked to him before it happened. I must have felt it intuitively as I have a story about it that I only figured out after we found out. That day I was trying to get home in huge traffic jam. Out of the blue I suddenly thought of him and I had a really anxious feeling. The feeling kept intensifying and I had a really strong urge to just drive to his house and see him. Something I would never have done on my own, after all I hadn’t seen him for several years. It was a rainy early evening and I remember all the clouds were this unusual dense purple color. I was starting to fret and I remember saying out loud “ Don’t worry, I’m coming.” A few minutes later and suddenly I felt a release. The urgency slowly died away. I was still at a standstill in the traffic jam. Finally about 45 min later the traffic began to move. I debated if I should go to his house. I needed to get home, the urgency was gone, and I had no real reason to just go stop by. So I went home, a bit perplexed thinking I was making stuff up in my head. A couple days later we got the news of his death, he had hung himself in his garage. I found out then that that indeed was the day he died. I feel if I had gone to his house it would have been too late, if I had looked in his garage window ( and why would I?) that I would have been the one to find his body first. So I was relieved that part of it hadn’t happened to me because it was hard enough just losing him as it was. He was a well loved person and had many friends and acquaintances, he was divorced and had a young daughter and it was terrible for them. His life had taken a turn for the worse and I know that he had many disappointments and strife. He probably would have done better if he had stayed with his old friends. I don’t know all of his reasons, I’d heard from others that he had severe depression before. I feel that if only someone had been there at that time he might have gotten past that moment when he felt he could go no further. I was sad that I missed that moment, that I couldn’t figure it out, and that I wasn’t there in time. I miss him still, decades later. He was a good man and a good friend.
I agree with Justine, I think somehow our spirits know more than we think they do, and can communicate in mysterious ways. If there is a life after this one or outside of it - when we get off the train - maybe you'll meet your friend there and he'll be able to tell you how you helped him.
What a beautiful way to show compassion and misunderstanding in equal quantities. My spine was cut 3 years ago during an operation. I woke up paralysed. I lay in hospital for 10 weeks not able to move . Wheelchair was the only option . I went home took an overdose and 2 bottles of whisky. I was found . I went through incredible psychiatric help. Thank you NHS . My psychologist said , suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. He was right , I'm now walking ! I'll never run a marathon, truthfully I couldn't before !🤣 but another human helped me . PLEASE IF ANYONE READS THIS and feels desperate , CALL SOMEONE . it's sometimes easier to talk to a stranger .take care all X
Thank you for saying something sincere and thoughtful. People in Ireland, and elsewhere I'm sure, always just repeat the same victim-blaming platitude: 'Men need to talk about their problems'. We need to talk more about the broader role of society and the pressures it places on people.
The hardest part of reaching out is making the first step and having the confidence to keep looking until you find the right help for you. In the U.K. the health system is over stretched and under equipped to deal with mental health. To many people think they understand mental health either because they think their mental health is the same as everyone else's or because they live a structured life through routine, be that through self discipline or enforced discipline through military service, religion or any number of other situations. This does not mean they understand you. It's all to easy for people to impose their advice on you, often through well meaning but for many people what is needed is an ear that won't judge and that is why the likes of the Samaritans or Mind are good in the U.K. They listen and are trained to be reflective, helping you work through your own thoughts and feelings. I'm aware some countries like America the samaritans have a duty of care that puts people who most need the service off calling an sometimes those people choose to call another countries samaritans to get round that situation. I've spent years following other people and being pushed down roads that "are best for me". Each in turn has made my mental health and my life worse. I'm now backed into a corner where everything is out of my control. And this is the turning point for me. I now know I have to do what is needed to get me out of the pit of despair and out of bad situations. I need to formulate a plan that can work on a timeline or on an achievable set of goals. I watch many YT channels some of which are clearly making a good life out of selling their good life to people willing to pay or companies willing to give them free stuff for the advertising. Some are pure amateurs showing what they have a passion for and some like this one who put much time and effort into showing us how they choose to live. I do watch the ads (unless they are ridiculously long) to chip a few pennies into the pot as I'm unable to spare cash. I guess what I'm saying is like the different types of content providers we are all different and can learn different things from different areas. We will pick some bits of information from everyone we have contact with, some we want to take onboard and some we know we don't want to pursue. It often takes more than one source of information to help ideas form. Thinking in a linear manner works for some and looking form many angles works for others. For me knowing how I got to where I am can now help me to not repeat the same patterns. Corporations and industry have distorted the narrative of humanity and the environment. Daniel practices mindfulness in it's simplest form, look after the thing needed to support you. Just remember that includes yourself.
Wow, Daniel, such a powerful message! My condolences. I'm impressed by your openness and observations on this subject. I also watch David Paulides Missing 411 on TH-cam and he recently lost his son Ben to suicide. He is very courageous in sharing his grief about it and is not afraid to be vulnerable and show his tears. There is so much strenght in that. His vids have saved lifes, I'm sure, and so may yours. Thank you!
My sister was a 911 dispatcher for 25 years. What she said to potential suicides that called in was this " Ending your life doesn't end your problems or pain, it just passes them on to your loved ones." It had a very powerful impact on the callers.
Daniel, thank you for your inspiring words. The realisation of our own insignificance and the comfort that this knowledge can bring was a very profound observation and is rooted in Zen philosophy. I read a quote this morning that was echoed by your words “we spend a lot of time looking for happiness when the world around us is full of wonder. To be alive and walk on earth is a miracle, and yet most of us are running as if there were some better place to go.”
Talking openly and honestly about a difficult subject is the only way to attempt understanding, and possible healing. I have also had to deal with suicides, my heart goes out to you and your family. This is also a reminder to let your people know that you love them. Please take care, and throw an extra stick for Moss for me. Cheers Michael
Daniel, you and your family have my deepest sympathy, I'm truly sorry for his children. It's so sad when someone feels death is their only way to feel better. My son in laws 15 yr old cousin took his life 8 yrs ago, he too seemed to be happy.
I know what he felt.I think about doing the same every day.When somebody has never got to that point they will never be able to imagine the thoughts,the feelings and the depth of depression that one has while thinking about taking their own lives.Btw i watch your videos every day because they/you make me feel better somehow.Thank you for that Daniel.Nowadays there are only very few things that i care about.
I pray that you NEVER come to the point of totally giving up! Because even though life might seem overwhelming and hard. ALWAYS remember that you ARE LOVED!! Even by people who dont know you!! And as a mother who loss her son instantly in a car crash less than 2 miles from home after work where I was watching his 3 kids and waiting on him to come home. Even after 4 1/2 years of him being gone I STRUGGLE STILL to this day and I will for the rest of my life!! Then a year ago we loss my niece, I found her drowned in the lake, my sister and her was at the lake house and my sister woke up in the middle of the night and couldnt find her! We will NEVER know what happened or why.. she had a beautiful life and family and loved life. But now my sister is living like i have done for the last several years totally heartbroken and struggling to live without part of our being without our child! And i want to say to you even when you feel like giving up PLEASE PLEASE DON'T because you will be destroying the life of someone that loves you more than their own life!! SO I PRAY THAT YOU MAY FIND PEACE AND HAPPINESS HERE IN THIS WORLD AND THAT YOU NEVER GIVE UP!! I will be praying for you🙏🙏🙏
I’ve been where you are now. Sometimes it’s just about taking the next breath, and the next one. Ask for help, from the Universe, just say: I need help. Maybe you have it in you to reach out to other people, a friend, a councillor. Talk. Maybe they won’t understand, but you will start to understand yourself better. It’s a journey, my friend. I’m still here, and i didn’t think i would be. And i’m so, so grateful that i am. It’s a disease, depression. Suicide is one of it’s symptoms, but it’s not the inevitable end. You can get better, feel joy again, be glad to be alive again. Don’t think too far ahead. Stay in the now. Just keep taking that next breath. Reach out. I wish you well, my friend. 🌷
I have been where you are, too. I am much better now, but I really expierienced hell.. Sometimes it is about pushing and pushing and pushing to get out of it. Don't be shy to ask anyone for help, may it be friends or family, if that is not an option a professional is great.. Find good coping mechanisms for yourself
Szia István! Many have been where you are now. What you are feeling is not such an isolated case. Is it possible that feeling lonely is more pressing than depression itself? I think you can solve whatever issues you have, it might be the social aspect that need to be sort out first. You're not alone with your feelings, it's quite a universal condition. Would you be willing to reach out?
I hear you. Mental health care just slipped from poor to worse in Texas. A person without means or transportation can't just pop out and do something lovely..not safe to walk the neighborhood. I've been in my apartment 2&1/2 years trying to get just a little leg up.
What a beautiful message. Everything you said is so true and I wish all the young people could hear this. You are such a beautifully sensitive man and I so appreciate your videos.
Sorry for your loss. Mental Health services are taken for granted in Ireland and England, until someone needs it. Then you very quickly realize that those hard working people have their hands tied severely and their ability to fully help anyone is limited. I have experienced similar with a family member, Luckily she survived but by pure luck. Getting her the help she needs proved to be nearly impossible. The mental Health services in Ireland literally released her without prescribing her any medication and as a family we are now under constant worry about that family member, especially during lockdown as we cannot keep in contact as much as we would like with them.
@@kidpresentable6004 I do have to agree, I just didnt want to insult anyone working in those fields. I am sure some of them do care they just have their hands tied.
@@murigrim well yes it's the legislation that is a major issue , GPS in this country and across the western world have a lot to answer for. Not just for the mental health but the overall drug crime wave. Doctors are handing out prescription drugs such as dalmane, zanex, zimmovanes etc like candy. Talk about a short term solution for a really long term problem. This has led to not only mental health issues but has caused a crime wave. Many young men and women are strung out on these and are causing mayhem... Serious social issues because of this in Ireland. This celtic genetic contains a highly addictive personality gene..
Thank you for this video, Daniel. And I am so sorry to hear about you and your family's loss! This subject affects so many of us, and not just in Western societies where the pressure of high achieving "performance" and keeping up a certain facade has become sadly normal... For me, whenever I was at a low point, picking up the phone to ring or text friends or family or even knocking at my neighbours door always felt too hard. Asking for help felt like a failure, humiliating, opening a bottomless pit of shame... Helplines can be helpful, yes. What saved me repeatedly were the check-ins from the outside world just stating something along the lines of "I'm thinking of you right now. So glad you exist!" (showing me others loved me simply for BEING me - not doing, achieving, aspiring...). And also to think that I didn't want to leave a mess of untied ends to my brother... if I ended things "simply" because I had lost all energy to face another minute of having to dig myself out of that dragging heavy, murky, darkness yet again... But as you also said, in the end what can cause the final split second decision to end one's life definitively is something only each individual person knows and has within their own hands. Ultimately, no one else can judge or prevent someone who is suicidal from going through with their plan if that decision is final in that moment and nobody is physically present to stop them. Loosing a close friend to suicide years ago made me realise that. And knowing those low points and the energy it takes to battle them or even just sit them out until the sun comes through again, I always respected his choice - while simultaneously feeling so very sad he is no longer around with his amazing energy, wits, sensitivity and smile... What really struck me recently when reading on the origins of mental health issues was how pervasive "trauma" is at the bottom of so many of them. Peter Levine and others even speak of a "pandemic" of trauma related health issues! Not trauma in the old narrow sense only - as in war, natural disasters, crude physical and sexual violence. But so many more facettes of seemingly "everyday" trauma that can start with our experiences in the womb (as surprising as that may sound!), our birthing process and those very formative years as infants which may set us up for life - or may be the origin for a lot of neurological, hormonal and immunological dysregulation if something goes wrong and remains unrecognised/ unaltered. As a doctor and someone who suffered from depression/burnout repeatedly over years, I unfortunately only learnt about the insights of the "polyvagal theory" (Stephen Porges) and related studies into the physiological impacts of trauma as well as the - fortunately nowadays available - amazing treatment options in Sept this year. What an eye opener. And saddeningly, only so late... Most doctors and psychotherapists still don't know the difference between "talking therapy" and - body centred - trauma therapy approaches. I very much appreciated UK psychotherapist Benjamin Fry sharing his personal story of severe, crippling anxiety (despite having a very full "golden" life, great circle of friends, family, job, education...) and his road to recovery with the help of body focused trauma therapy (trauma related to losing his mum at age 2). He put his experiences out there in many TH-cam videos, interviews, articles as well as his book "The Invisible Lion". Similarly, Bessel van der Kolk ("The Body Keeps The Score") and Peter Levine (the "father" of trauma therapy) as well as many other greats in trauma therapy have put themselves out there time and again, telling of their own experiences and work - in TH-cam videos, TED talks, interviews,... A great source of inspiration and relief for anyone suffering not only from mental health issues but also many physical ailments such as migraines, chronic pain, autoimmune diseases, ... I was surprised myself to see how much can be linked back to trauma - and how efficient those modern body centred treatments can be. We can all try to make life better for each other by checking in with our loved ones, just on a whim, randomly, whenever we think of them. And we can raise a joyful, healthy environment for every person by showing them that they are loved for who they ARE (not just for their actions/ achievements), showing them community and connection and the abundance nature provides every day with that sunray, raindrop, beautiful leaf, unusual flower, critters of all sizes, growing food for all constantly... Thanks for adding to that gentleness, kindness and humility humanity needs so direly these days, Daniel, through your cheer- and thoughtful presence via your channel!
This is so sad. I have a friend that also suffered and he also committed suicide. Even after all this time I think of him. Stay safe and my condolences to you and your family.
Deeply sorry for your loss, Daniel. Your words get me back on the right track and help me retain the momentum and motivation to face with the challenges and the obstacles that life throws at me. In the pursuit of success, we forget to live and create our own reality. The success of life is to find your own source of happiness no matter how different it is to what the society considers it to be. Once you have managed to reach it, you begin living your own life.
I am so sorry for your loss Daniel. It’s very sad when someone decides that suicide is the only way out. I knew someone who was a colleague at work years ago, who was going through a divorce and had a job where he was having to deal with people and their problems. He must have been truly overwhelmed and felt that throwing himself in front of a train was the only way to be free of everything. He left 2 young daughters.
I lost a friend to suicide last April. I think of him and miss him every day. I wish he would have heard something similar to this. Thank you for your kind, encouraging words to remind people that they're not alone.
We must encourage men to talk more. That its ok to express their sadness and stress. There is so much pressure on them while at the same time being told to 'man up or grow a pair etc' People are not allowed to do and feel what they want. But you are right. There are ways out. I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much for this video. I am so sorry for the loss of your cousin. I recently lost my father to suicide (he lingered in a vegetative state for three months). I only wish I could have said something like this to him before he passed. I have had trouble finding the love I once had for many things now that he is gone. But I know I have to try because he would want me to be happy...
Thank you for this video. As someone who has carried depression with me since I was 12, I know how dark those places can get when suicide seems the only release. In that dark frame of mind I reason my death wouldn’t matter. Conversely, I still get angry at times at a friend who took his life last year for making that decision. As I’ve matured and significantly shifted my mental state I feel, for me, depression is mostly related to having to stifle a limitless soul into a series of societal systems, all of which are broken. I’ve found pieces of the puzzle in counseling, in meditation, in friendships, in nature, and most abundantly when I’m able to step outside of my story and help others. Easing another’s pain eases mine as well. Your journey inspires me to seek a similar situation, free of as much of the rat race as possible. I’ve even reached out to you on Worldpackers. Anyway, thanks for living an example of a life choice too many people may not realize is an option. I’ll bet you have saved a few lives and not even known it.
My condolences on your loss Daniel. Thank you for what you said - I'm not suicidal but at a crossroads in my life. Your words helped me so much, more than you could possibly know. In a way, you've confirmed what I already knew about my path but didn't know if I had the courage to act. Thank you so much.
Though living as you do may not have have been his thing, I can't help thinking he would have rejuvenated him. A month ago someone important to me took his life. I do not condemn his action but it's so final for me.
This is an important video. Thank you for taking the time to post this message and I’m very sorry for the loss of your cousin. You’re a guiding light for many people and this beautiful video may very well save lives. Bravo.
My sister had an accident aged 24 she died. She had death fantasies which she shared with a number of people. Once i was there and she was enthusiastic about the role that ancient sacrificed people had in helping the survivers with the spirits. I liked when you said that your cousin had the right to end his life. This has never occured to me. You are very beautiful and inspiring human.
That’s why I don’t just don’t do those New Years Resolutions around the holidays. It’s more like today didn’t work out but tomorrow is another chance to try again!
Hi Dan. I appreciate you making this video. Same happened to my brother around the time this video was uploaded. Some days I still can’t believe it. It’s tragic and sad and hard to wrap my mind around how common it is. I did my best for years to be a support but it was not enough.
So sorry for your families loss especially for the children left behind. What you said was very well said. Enjoy all that you are doing on your homestead.
I am going through my own challenges & I so needed to hear this now, thanks ! Let’s all do our best and make this train journey the best ride of our life 🤗
Wise words, Daniel. I agree, life is definitely a roller coaster and you have to hang on for dear life and try to enjoy the ride, at least some of the time! So sorry for your family's loss .....
You’ve never said exactly what your unfulfilling career was (at least, I don’t think so) but surely you made a living as a writer. Or a soeaker. Well, you certainly COULD. I suppose you DO, in a way...here on your channel. I’m not suicidal but if I were, I think your words would give me pause.
Yeah, I was thinking either a teacher or a social worker, because he is a natural teacher, has a strong social conscience and is very empathetic. He’s just an all round decent human.
I wish I could tell you how much the things you say, resonate with my own life path. I am 70 (that is my real picture) and moved to Mexico 2 years ago. I have been an overcomer all my life, and trust me, (well you already know) OVERCOMING works!
![โรงเรียนห้ามรัก โดนจับได้ตาย...!! [เอิร์นไดเม่]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/4u02Sbr556Q/mqdefault.jpg)
I think a lot of us aren't cut out for modern industrial civilization. It is too complex, stressful, busy, superficial, too crowded, and too lonely.
Humanity evolves inexorably to where it is........!
@@andymccabe6712 Our emotions have not evolved at the same pace as technology.
The superficial aspect gets to me the most. Everything is fake. People, relationships, even food. Nothing is satisfying...you’re always left wanting more.🙁 Soma & consumerism are good distractions...but not enough to fill the void.
I agree completely. When I watch a traffic report on the news I say to myself "that's not real life". Daniel is so wise and good.
yes it sucks we are being kept in a childlike dependency and never allowed to GROW UP natives had rites of passage we lost all of that life becomes MEANINGLESS we are not just consumers but that[s what they want us to be CON SUMERS how awful
You are such a likable guy. Thoughtful and kind.
Given the superficial and selfish nature of so much of what is on TH-cam and the rest of the internet too, it is such a breath of fresh air to see and hear someone communicating basic decency. Thank for putting this out there.
'Basic decency'.....rarer than an honest politician, more precious than rubies.
Being someone who has struggled with ptsd/suicidal thoughts, I can honestly say the common words from friends means way more than the over educated words from a doctor. I have had complete strangers save me with a knowing smile while standing in queue at the grocery store, or a friendly greeting in passing. We interact with many people every day, and we have no idea of what they are going through. A smile, a hello, can have a huge impact on a lot of lives. Thanks for making this video!
Agree with you 100%. Wishing you all that is good in life.
Love to you, Brian x
Thanks for your wisdom Brian! Oh how everyone needs to be reminded ‘I have no idea what that guy/woman is going through. If she/he could do with a smile, it’s the least I can do.’ Very valuable advice!
So true. Keep strong.
I disagree on one point-- you are spiritual in the truest, clearest sense: a seeker, and deeply kind.
He is seeker for sure and still searching.
Truly an Old Soul 💫
I 100% agree with you.
Yes! Such a soothing, balanced and wise old soul.
@Tamar Harris j
My daughter took her life in 2019. She had lived with mental illness for many years and I feel it all just became too much for her. My MD said, our minds are very individual. Because of that what fulfills one of us may not another. I miss her very much, she was a true friend until those last few weeks. I could see she was not seeing a doctor, that she was not taking her medication, and that she was using recreational drugs to "dull the pain." I tried to reach her, but she refused me. The last thing I said to her was, "I love you!" If you have a mental illness, please, please speak with someone! Thank you for sharing this, it might help just one person AND, THAT would be wonderful. Hug the dog for me. Stay safe.
Vmcougar, I am sorry to hear that. It is terrible to be that unhappy. Bless you☘
Big hug to you too, not just that lovely dog. x
My heart reaches for you... be at peace. You deserve no less than that!❤️
I am so sorry for your loss. To lose one's child is the the greatest pain imaginable. My 36 year old son lost his life to suicide 8 years ago. He had struggled with a serious mental illness for many years. My son would not take his medication. Peace to you.
@@carolynmarie4008 And to you.
I’m so sorry for your and your family’s loss, Daniel.
After losing 2 brothers, I started thinking about where I'm going in life, I want to sell everything and hit the road. I am tired of being bound to a job I don't enjoy anymore and tired of paying a mortgage.
I am sorry for your loss, and well said, your words mean a lot.
I too am at that crossroads, I'm 64 but the road is calling me... planning and preparing over the next 9-10 months. The strongest advice I have received is to have a nest egg for emergencies. I've finally saved up about 8K, maybe I'll reach 15 to 20 if I stay frugal. 👍😻🙃🥰😁
I lost a brother and it was enough, I've ended up living up of a mountain. I always said that my brother died and I remembered I was alive.
@@mourningdove4040 Good for you Jade but don't leave it too long !!
Quitting the rat race is easier than you can imagine. I'm a vagrant, have been this way for years, and, I just did it, no selling up (nothing to sell). I live on the road and meet interesting and generous people. I move with my animals and go as and when I please. No regrets, other than wishing I'd done this sooner!
You can do it!
You are an articulate, compassionate and inspiring young man well done I hope your message gets the audience it deserves. It’s so sad about your cousin.
It's all right not to fit in.
It's all right to walk away from a dysfunctional environment, whether personal or professional.
It's all right to give certain people the finger from time to time too.
Just be yourself and don't worry about what others think.
My God, some of the most profound words I've ever heard spoken. Daniel, this message is beyond your years in wisdom. Cheers.
Such wise words Dan. Having severe depression years ago, I was so close to ending my misery, but it was the thoughts of what would happen to my animals, that stopped me.
Fast forward >>>> I could not be happier than I am now........I did something similar to you, by moving up to Scotland & ‘starting a new life’
What a kind soul you are......we all could do with a Daniel in our lives x
“Blissfully insignificant.”
You are so wise. Thank you for sharing.
I think a lot of people are overwhelmed these days. We have too often traded meaningful connections to people and places for collections of "followers" and photos of random events we hardly experienced. We are bombarded with the worst of global news and stressed about thing out of our control, and no longer consider the routine and simple acts like cooking our meals and sharing them with friends/family. From one lucky bastard to another, thank you for your channel and reaching out to the world.
Daniel, you have a great gift of insightfulness which is complimented by your remarkable ability to express yourself. Listening to you speak is a little like listening to poetry. Best wishes.
Daniel, you are a wise old soul in a young man's body. Thank you for sharing 👩🌾👍
About a month ago, my autistic daughter (we're in Ireland too) tried to commit suicide. The Mental Health help here, at least in our area, might as well have not existed. Due to the lockdown she couldn't physically SEE anyone and her autism meant therapy over the phone was difficult. The therapist was overwhelmed with patients and let her know it. This made her feel guilty about taking up his time. That, coupled with the obviuos fact he'd no idea how to deal with an autistic person, meant she gave up on the therapy. My husband and I keep close watch over her but we've none of us any help. The overweening Government restrictions have a lot to answer for.
I'm sorry for your loss. I believe you, yourself, would have made a good therapist. But sometimes the help everyone is told to ask for simply isn't there.
I hope everyone remains in good physical and mental health in these times. We don't get a second chance, so if you're struggling, please try and hang in there. Nothing stays the same forever.
Trish, I don't know if this will be any use but I'm autistic and have been suicidal, and talking therapies following the lines of the book 'Mind Over Mood' by Greenberger and Padesky really helped. In the absence of anything else, it might be worth looking at. Best wishes to you and your daughter.
Dear Trish, so sorry to hear of the difficulties your daughter and yourselves have been facing. I will pray for you all. I have a twenty year old daughter who has Down Syndrome and autism. We will try to take her out more now the weather has improved. Cycling is a blessing. She also enjoys watching DVDs. It will be good if your daughter can meet up with friends. The lockdowns and experimental jabs are very damaging. I hope you are able to avoid them.
All the best, Pat
@@advancedwatcher Thanks so much, I'll pass this along to her and hope it helps. You're very kind, thank you. x
@@patriciahollinrake9717 Thanks Pat, for your prayers and kind words. All the best to you and yours too. These are terrifying times we're living in and I suspect many are suffering quietly, alone. Take care and thank you.x
"Nothing stays the same forever" is a hopeful thought Trish. Sadly in these threatening times many fear any change could be for the worse. My own way of coping throughout that isolation with acute anxiety was to to be resigned, to accept l may contract whatever it is that's been spread, so if l AM going to be a gonner, l may as well make the best of each and every day, fixing my mind on a trivial creative project - to make myself finish a small task and feel self rewarded.
l made food shopping a mission focussing on cooking the style l'd once enjoyed dining out.
By repeating this technique of my mind "looking forward" to a treat or a finished DIY/ garden task, l felt the excitement daily in my stomach replacing the knots until l felt brave enough to plan a future trip abroad So what Daniel has said is absolutely spot on.
My other point for anyone who's despair has got to the point of panic or feeling they are losing control is that they do urgently need the very best professional support
Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose…..
> Quotes > Quotable Quote
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“What is success?
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate the beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch Or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Joseph Keenaghan:
That is a helluva quote. When l feel any self doubt, if shunned by the not so intelligent surrounding me, but l continue to win the affection of children, l know l'm okay 👏
I have carried a clipping of this quote with me for over 40 years.
th-cam.com/video/-pEhC3345JE/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/jI_Mi0LYFK4/w-d-xo.html
"Your alive & what a lucky bastard that makes you". Yes mate, bring it home.
Felt that truth.
Really beautiful words of wisdom. You're an inspiration and antidote to a sick world. Thank you.
Maybe packing a bag and chucking it on your back is a good way forward- I also packed a bag when in a crap place and when packing the bag I booked a ticket to Australia, 2 of the best years of my life. 15 years on I now live in New Zealand permanently and happily married. If you’re in a shit spot people, there’s a whole world out there, you just got to make it happen.
This video comforted me so much, Daniel... I've been working a dead end job for several years, working just to survive. I end the week with exhaustion and overwhelming stress... Even after working overtime, my family asks me when I will finally go to college and start my life. Long story short, I don't feel the desire to get into that much debt just to get an unsatisfying higher paying job.
One decision has been torturing me. Should I get a degree in the only thing I am good at and put my talents to good use, or should I pursue my dream?
My dream for living self sustaining in the woods abroad has felt more like a illusion. Something I cannot reach purely because of my own fear of disappointing others as well as doubting my own ability. All I know is that I cannot keep living this way. Some souls are meant for different things and different ways of life and that is ok.
Your words were incredibly encouraging and I'm very grateful. Thank you for your wisdom even through the loss that you are experiencing. Thank you for mossy bottom!
Sorry for you loss man. I can empathise with you. My bother hanged himself 3 years ago and it almost destroyed the rest of our family. My elderly parents found John. He was going through mental torture. A suicide is so much harder to deal with. I struggle to this day with it.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother. I lost a friend the same way .I pray you and your family that you find healing bless you.
We lost dad tragically in 2002. He suffered with bi polar and he was the one suffering for years... We never got angry about his decision we obviously were devastated but in the end I finally got solace just from the simple fact that he wasn't suffering anymore. But boy do I miss him to this day.. But I'm blessed to have called him dad and been his daughter... The physical aspect of him not being around is the hard one to deal with but thankfully on a spiritual level I believe we are never far from our loved ones... Life wouldn't be worth all the hassle if there wasn't more to it all... What would be the point... I can relate to how you said it affected your family... We all did the what if and I should have done or said... I believe dads decision was made regardless... I for one don't or didn't expect him to continue suffering just to keep us all ticking along nicely... Anyway God bless you and your family... The years fly by but we still honour them by never forgetting them... Love endures
Yes, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. So sorry for your cousin, you can pray for him, we don't disappear when we leave our bodies, the Soul is indestructible. We should Pray daily for loved one's it Really helps them,
@@gericlarke brother not cousin
An old friend of mine once told me about his friend who had attempted suicide. Once out of the hospital, he dropped everything and drove him up to the Lake District where they spent a few weeks. I'm not sure exactly what they did up there, but it definitely helped him. I'm also sure that the actions of my friend taking him there showed him how much he cared for him.
Love the Lakes. The most beautiful area of these islands. Oh, happy days!
Lived in the lakes ten years not as nice as the West of Ireland where I now live past 24 years.
What a terrific guy to have dropped everything and whisked his mate off to a place of calm and beauty! Thanks for this great idea!
I am sorry for your loss. In my life also was many ups and downs. When I was down I was thinking about my grandparents. The country, where I was born (Hungary) was standing on the wrong side during the WWII. My grandparents didn't have anything to do with that, but they had to pay the price. They were 18 years old when they had to leave everything behind, and had to suffer 5 years in Siberia. 5 years later without even a pair of shoes they had to start their life over again. And they did. And they provided a good life to their children. Working hard and enjoy the life. Find the reason to smile every day and I have never heard them to say, ahhh, life is hard. Looking forward. Find a purpose. From down you can only go up. So like I said I also had many ups and downs but I find a reason every day to wake up and I never forget when I am down, tomorrow will be up, and when I am up, I am happy but I know, tomorrow I can be down again. Nothing is stable in our life, everything is changing all the time, the biggest mistake is when we try to make, create some fix point in our life. That just doesn't exist. We are not owning anything and anyone. And we have to be flexible as well, because, like I said, everything is changing all the time around us. Those suffer the most, who are looking for something fix, something, what will be there forever and stays the same. The real meaning of our life is to change, evolve, and to live in the present.
The unintended consequence of suicide is it puts family members at risk. The chances are greater that they will do the same. You may not be able to invite your cousin to come see a different way of life, perhaps sharing your way of life with his family might make a difference
Well said Daniel. I had a cousin who threw herself off a sea cliff, she was a nurse, the youngest of a very large family, but her spirit wanted to play the flute, sing and walk the mountains.... it is very difficult to go against what society / family expect you to do, but one must... Well said Daniel.
I deeply appreciate your feelings of compassion for your cousin. It’s heartbreaking to lose someone in that way. I have dealt with mental illness for my whole life (59 yrs), and it’s a daily battle. No matter what you choose to do, or what your circumstances may be, it never goes away. Brain chemistry is brain chemistry. Sometimes in the depth of depression, things are so dark that you can’t see out, and you can’t remember life ever being good. I think for many people who feel suicidal, the main desire is to end the pain they are feeling. They aren’t thinking about their families, or their jobs, or any possibilities for change. They just can’t live with the agony.
Helping someone with mental illness is a long-term commitment. Making one phone call probably won’t change much. Deciding to stay in touch with them regularly and relatively frequently would be much more effective. Listening without judgement is essential, as is not giving advice about “if you do this it will fix it.” Let them know that you care about them and you are interested in how they are doing. And keep it up.
Excellent advice.
Yes!!!
So true.
And what I've found recently: there is something deeply encouraging in what modern trauma therapy offers - body focussed/ -centred approaches that really seem to get to the bottom of where our brain chemistry got dysregulated and how it can be changed. Without antidepressants. And without years of only talking about analysing our thought patterns, or mind.
I can highly recommend these books and checking out interviews with their authors here on TH-cam:
The Body Keeps The Score (Bessel v.d. Kolk)
The Invisible Lion (Benjamin Fry)
Waking The Tiger (Peter Levine)
Life givers!
Thank you, Daniel. I am so glad that we are able to talk openly about suicide, unhappiness, mental illness and addictions these days. I lost my brother to suicide almost 20 years ago. I still think about what I could have said or done, but he was in the grasp of alcoholism and that certainly complicated the relationship with friends and family and even himself. I'm so sorry for the loss of your cousin.
I think your discovery of "dirt therapy" is what helped you, and what many are finding is a very important part of overcoming the mental stress so many face. It is a scientific fact that enzymes in the soil help our physical and mental well-being.
"Dirt therapy", that's a good one. It certainly helps.
As a hydroponic enthusiast, I think the therapeutic value is derived from the stillness of plant life and the satisfaction of seeing plants grow & either eating or sharing the fruits & flowers of our labour.
Here in Ireland, generational trauma is something that's only mushrooming on people's consciousness...
It would be nice to imagine a statesman in Ireland speaking like you have on this subject..
Godbless
You are truer and wiser than any number of framed certificates on the wall, Daniel. Don’t blame yourself for not knowing your cousin needed you in his sad hours; his death has given you the incentive to speak out and perhaps reach and help someone else who needed your wise words.
Keep doing your wonderful gardening; I am so inspired by you. I’m just starting on my own garden journey, having moved to western Massachusetts less than a year ago.
God bless, Daniel.
Correction; you ARE as important as the worm in the soil. Not insignificant, but as significant as everything else. This was a lovely video thanks for sharing. Touching. Also, I feel you are very spiritual ;)
Thank you for taking time to address this difficult issue.
Beautiful. Struggled with this all my life. Sometimes, though, those struggles are imposed and far more difficult than most can understand. Being sane in an insane world is not for the feint of heart..
I enjoyed listening to your words, however I feel I need to tell you that you are significant Daniel, and you are much more important than a worm in the soil!
I appreciate your words and taking the time to share them. However, I've been suicidal many times in my life. The feeling in that moment of deciding to go through with it or not, for me, is despair. When being completely consumed with that feeling, nothing seems possible. I understand it's a mental challenge to pull oneself out of that feeling of hopelessness, but It isn't an easy thing to do at the time. I'm not sure why people don't reach out in that critical moment, but many people simply can't.
I had a GP that was so kind and caring..also felt she did more for me by being a real person rather than her 'role' as Dr. I finally confided in her and told her about the prolonged abuse I was living in from a parent and whole family unit. The moment I reached out to her I let light inside my dark place..and I was nolonger facing it alone.someone who i trusted knew..knew where I was and my chest felt lighter. My face more relaxed ..I was no longer alone. And this gave me hope first and foremost but also strength from the outside. Daniel..you are insightful and know your audience ..there is a connection to being trapped which I am sure stems from a search for our unique self..the frustrations ..expectations of others ..and how it effects our dynamics within our personal circle and the world. It is one thing to be living your 'dream life'..but quite another to pause and offer a light for others to beable to see their way too. Daniel..Your time and words will leave plenty of wisdom and light for those who come on that train after you..
YOU FORGOT TO MENTION..that those are the kind of things we can leave behind after we are gone. Perhaps there can be some book to compile by this conversation about life Daniel. My heart felt condolenses to you and your family.
You made some important points here to help everyone. Thank you my dearest friend .Liyax
The hardest thing to do is admit to others what we feel are our failures. We hide our deepest despair because we fear their disappointment or judgment.
Sadly, I think many people become uncommunicative when they are low and the lower you go, the worse it gets. I know I’m like that. It’s only when you start resurfacing that you are able to talk about it. Some are more transparent and, even if they say nothing, you are able to notice that something is off, but some will never betray their mental turmoil, not even family or close friends. It’s a tough one.
Medication can be the lifesaver. It's not necessarily the the long term solution, but can help one pull up enough to hold on.
Dear Daniel, I just wanted to comment and say I'm sorry for your family's loss. The statistics for suicide in young men is truly heartbreaking. A friend who got me through some of those tough high school years recently took his own life. We hadn't talked in years but his death shocked me to the core. I've really struggled with the news and as I say, we didn't even know each other in our 'adult' lives. It's just such heartbreaking news to receive, no matter how well you knew them.
I wanted to say thank you for your words on your cousin having the right to end his own life. It was HIS life. Comments and thoughts about how it's unfair of him to leave his children are so unhelpful and probably very hurtful to his family. It's hard to imagine the pain your family must be feeling, harder still to imagine the pain that someone must truly be in to leave their wife and children. I hope it's something I'm never going to experience, but if I did I'd hope for a bit of understanding of that kind of despair. Best wishes and peace to you and your family
"Blissfully insignificant" - wow, I like that and it rings true!
I saw this a year ago, and watched again today. Such a powerful message Daniel, thank you!
Just putting on a backpack and walking is definitely not safe for women. *not in the US, at least
But I understand the pull of that desire.
Many times I have wanted to. Now I'm no longer capable of beginning that route.
An old friend of mine killed himself last Sept. (2020) I am still haunted and so very sad about it. And yet understand that draw as well.
Life hammers people. Some harder than others. And it's relentless. I know this despair and devastation. I am living it daily.
Thank You for sharing your thoughtful words, and I am sorry for your loss.
May his memory be a blessing. 🌿🕊️💕
Very beautifully put Daniel! The purpose of life is to live! There is no other purpose and there are no other goals! All goals are in the future and life is always now. Live it totally!
Wisdom is so underappreciated. You have lots of it.
I wish TH-cam had a ‘Love’ button!!
Every word you said was profound and absolutely spot on!
Life is a precious gift and because if that, I chose to do almost exactly what you did, a few years ago....
I quit my job, sold up, packed up, bought raw, untouched by human hand, land in Europe, packed up my self converted ex school bus and drove over 2000 miles away from family, friends, all my loved ones and and everything in the world that I knew and had known my whole life...to build myself my dream homestead... it’s been incredibly hard work, literally blood, sweat and tears...I’m totally skint, I’m totally knackered, I’m always covered in muck, mud, oil or paint, my to do list is written in a roll of wallpaper, there’s never enough hours in a day, there’s always something that needs fixing, replacing, building, I have waaaay more (rescue) animals than I ever intended for..... and I absolutely bloody love it!
Thankyou so much, for the video and I’m deeply sorry for your loss.
Much love, light and a big ol’ bag of sunshine, from my lovely homestead, to yours 😊
You’re amazing for sitting down and making this. Thank you.
All I can say is a simple but deeply heartfelt thank you for your wise words. They grasp the essence of truth and compassion. May your words impact those who are experiencing desperate turmoils . I admire your profound understanding of those suffering and your encouraging message for them to transcend their despair.
You show great humility, Go bless you, you are a great addition to the emerald Isle.
The lack of motivation, identity, community, and the stress of the "pandemic" are ruining the lives of millions of people. I'm sorry for your loss, God bless you and your family.
True words indeed. And I'm glad the you typed pandemic with quotation marks
All by design sadly
lockdowns are a crime against humanity
@@BalboaBaggins I'm pretty sure you meant to type government TYRANTS, instead of martyrs....
Hi Daniel. I can see this video was tough for you to get through but appreciate you doing it for all the people it could help.
You think well. You gather your thoughts well. You articulate those thoughts well in a calm and unhurried manner that comes across very well. All of the above apply to your normal posts as a gardner/ smallholder, but equally so in this case on a subject that would be less familiar to you...and I find this to be very impressive.
Yes
I’m sorry your cousin chose to leave this world.. no one will ever understand his choice.. I lost my nephew last October, he was 19. I don’t understand why..at 62 I recognize the times I considered leaving.. I did not.. glad I am here, have had wonderful experiences and enjoying life. Thank you for your message.
My husband's brother took his own life a little over one year ago (USA) and my brother, my only sibling, took his three years ago. My brother was an alcoholic and had suffered from a mental disorder for years. I quit saying that suicide was the cause of his death. Alcoholism and mismanaged mental illness are what took his life. In addition to your great video here, I would add this. Recognize and seek help with any addictions, find a mental health professional that really cares, and THEN find that thing in life that makes you happy. Take control of your life! Thank you for this video. It surprised me, but I'm so glad you made it!
Unfortunately , most of the time we don’t know if we want to go down a certain path. I got a Business Degree and thought I wanted to open my own business but in turns out it’s not what I wanted working 15 hours a day every day. Now I trying something else and I am still not sure if it’s what I want completely.
Keep trying another door, maybe you will find something.
Maybe you should stop chasing money?
Whatever the intended destination, it's the journey that actually matters.
Finding out what you don't want, could be as useful as chasing a dream. It might take you longer to get where you need to be, but all what you have learned, will be of use.
You are such a GOOD dude and have figured out the answer. Good on you man.
I feel like a lucky bastard after hearing your talk, Daniel. Thank you!
I'm so sorry for your loss. I love everything you've said, especially the idea that if you're standing on the precipice you have nothing to lose by "looking around," like changing career, or taking a journey. I also add that happiness is a great and often fulfilling life goal, but it doesn't have to be _the_ (only) goal. Maybe that offers some new directions to look, if someone finds that happiness just isn't doing it for them.
I hadn't thought of that but it really resonates. Perhaps some people get so caught trying to be happy that they forget just to be.
Absolutely. The pursuit of happiness can bring its own pitfalls. Having been suicidal and attempted it once, I now try to find contentment.
Happiness is different for different people.... I find happiness in wilderness with nature but others find happiness with materialistic ideologies. I smile and laugh alot but inside I'm sad who is truley happy we will never know
The introduction alone already brought me to tears, I'm sorry for your loss
My cousin took her own life 20 years ago, we were like sisters growing up. She left 4 children, the ripples on our family are still felt today. The sadness never goes, she would have been a grandma now, I just wish one of us could have helped her. If only she would have realised the gapping hole she left. Sorry for your family’s loss, and my heart goes out to your cousins children 💚
I assure you she knew about the gapping hole. But there is a point that you just can't keep living and suffering for other people
@@AlexandraAndStuff what I heard Daniel say is that BEFORE you jump to the ultimate escape - maybe try eliminating some things less drastic. Even putting space between yourself and people or getting rid of possessions or turning into a new you would be better than quitting altogether.
Thank you. I am so depressed because my wife of 24 years didn't want to live because she had chronic illness that would have taken her life. I am devastated. I knew it was coming but not as fast as I had thought. I like the train analogy, I'm am holding tight to my chair, just missing my partner. My condolences to you and your family.
Your commentary was heartfelt and spot on. My husband’s dearest friend from childhood, best man at our wedding, and our life long friend also took his own life and it was a very sad, terrible thing to have happened. We hadn’t seen him for awhile as his life went a different direction and he went with a different crowd of people. We were left thinking the same things, if only we could have talked to him before it happened. I must have felt it intuitively as I have a story about it that I only figured out after we found out. That day I was trying to get home in huge traffic jam. Out of the blue I suddenly thought of him and I had a really anxious feeling. The feeling kept intensifying and I had a really strong urge to just drive to his house and see him. Something I would never have done on my own, after all I hadn’t seen him for several years. It was a rainy early evening and I remember all the clouds were this unusual dense purple color. I was starting to fret and I remember saying out loud “ Don’t worry, I’m coming.” A few minutes later and suddenly I felt a release. The urgency slowly died away. I was still at a standstill in the traffic jam. Finally about 45 min later the traffic began to move. I debated if I should go to his house. I needed to get home, the urgency was gone, and I had no real reason to just go stop by. So I went home, a bit perplexed thinking I was making stuff up in my head. A couple days later we got the news of his death, he had hung himself in his garage. I found out then that that indeed was the day he died. I feel if I had gone to his house it would have been too late, if I had looked in his garage window ( and why would I?) that I would have been the one to find his body first. So I was relieved that part of it hadn’t happened to me because it was hard enough just losing him as it was. He was a well loved person and had many friends and acquaintances, he was divorced and had a young daughter and it was terrible for them. His life had taken a turn for the worse and I know that he had many disappointments and strife. He probably would have done better if he had stayed with his old friends. I don’t know all of his reasons, I’d heard from others that he had severe depression before. I feel that if only someone had been there at that time he might have gotten past that moment when he felt he could go no further. I was sad that I missed that moment, that I couldn’t figure it out, and that I wasn’t there in time. I miss him still, decades later. He was a good man and a good friend.
@Eileen Anderson , you were with him in Spirit, that is intuition, and his Soul is grateful for that 🤍
@@turquoisetreee Thanks Justine, that sentiment helps to make me feel better about him.
I agree with Justine, I think somehow our spirits know more than we think they do, and can communicate in mysterious ways. If there is a life after this one or outside of it - when we get off the train - maybe you'll meet your friend there and he'll be able to tell you how you helped him.
Blissfully Insignificant = True Humility 🙏🏼
“Two roads in a wood - I took the one less travelled” Robert Frost.
I like that
@@kidpresentable6004 thanks friend! 😁
I always do that, but never realized how profound those words are. It just hit me. Thank you.
@@theotherside9999 ✌🏽🙋🏽
What a beautiful way to show compassion and misunderstanding in equal quantities.
My spine was cut 3 years ago during an operation.
I woke up paralysed. I lay in hospital for 10 weeks not able to move . Wheelchair was the only option .
I went home took an overdose and 2 bottles of whisky. I was found . I went through incredible psychiatric help. Thank you NHS . My psychologist said , suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
He was right , I'm now walking ! I'll never run a marathon, truthfully I couldn't before !🤣 but another human helped me . PLEASE IF ANYONE READS THIS and feels desperate , CALL SOMEONE . it's sometimes easier to talk to a stranger .take care all X
Thank you for saying something sincere and thoughtful. People in Ireland, and elsewhere I'm sure, always just repeat the same victim-blaming platitude: 'Men need to talk about their problems'. We need to talk more about the broader role of society and the pressures it places on people.
The hardest part of reaching out is making the first step and having the confidence to keep looking until you find the right help for you. In the U.K. the health system is over stretched and under equipped to deal with mental health. To many people think they understand mental health either because they think their mental health is the same as everyone else's or because they live a structured life through routine, be that through self discipline or enforced discipline through military service, religion or any number of other situations. This does not mean they understand you. It's all to easy for people to impose their advice on you, often through well meaning but for many people what is needed is an ear that won't judge and that is why the likes of the Samaritans or Mind are good in the U.K. They listen and are trained to be reflective, helping you work through your own thoughts and feelings. I'm aware some countries like America the samaritans have a duty of care that puts people who most need the service off calling an sometimes those people choose to call another countries samaritans to get round that situation.
I've spent years following other people and being pushed down roads that "are best for me". Each in turn has made my mental health and my life worse. I'm now backed into a corner where everything is out of my control. And this is the turning point for me. I now know I have to do what is needed to get me out of the pit of despair and out of bad situations. I need to formulate a plan that can work on a timeline or on an achievable set of goals.
I watch many YT channels some of which are clearly making a good life out of selling their good life to people willing to pay or companies willing to give them free stuff for the advertising. Some are pure amateurs showing what they have a passion for and some like this one who put much time and effort into showing us how they choose to live. I do watch the ads (unless they are ridiculously long) to chip a few pennies into the pot as I'm unable to spare cash. I guess what I'm saying is like the different types of content providers we are all different and can learn different things from different areas. We will pick some bits of information from everyone we have contact with, some we want to take onboard and some we know we don't want to pursue. It often takes more than one source of information to help ideas form. Thinking in a linear manner works for some and looking form many angles works for others. For me knowing how I got to where I am can now help me to not repeat the same patterns.
Corporations and industry have distorted the narrative of humanity and the environment.
Daniel practices mindfulness in it's simplest form, look after the thing needed to support you. Just remember that includes yourself.
This is probably THE BEST video I have EVER watched.
Thank you Daniel, you are wise and a blessed comfort beyond words.
Daniel, Ireland are blessed to have you mate. Great words.
Wow, Daniel, such a powerful message! My condolences. I'm impressed by your openness and observations on this subject. I also watch David Paulides Missing 411 on TH-cam and he recently lost his son Ben to suicide. He is very courageous in sharing his grief about it and is not afraid to be vulnerable and show his tears. There is so much strenght in that. His vids have saved lifes, I'm sure, and so may yours. Thank you!
My sister was a 911 dispatcher for 25 years. What she said to potential suicides that called in was this " Ending your life doesn't end your problems or pain, it just passes them on to your loved ones." It had a very powerful impact on the callers.
Daniel, thank you for your inspiring words. The realisation of our own insignificance and the comfort that this knowledge can bring was a very profound observation and is rooted in Zen philosophy. I read a quote this morning that was echoed by your words “we spend a lot of time looking for happiness when the world around us is full of wonder. To be alive and walk on earth is a miracle, and yet most of us are running as if there were some better place to go.”
I really like that quote. Thank you. :)
Talking openly and honestly about a difficult subject is the only way to attempt understanding, and possible healing. I have also had to deal with suicides, my heart goes out to you and your family. This is also a reminder to let your people know that you love them. Please take care, and throw an extra stick for Moss for me. Cheers Michael
Daniel, you and your family have my deepest sympathy, I'm truly sorry for his children. It's so sad when someone feels death is their only way to feel better. My son in laws 15 yr old cousin took his life 8 yrs ago, he too seemed to be happy.
I know what he felt.I think about doing the same every day.When somebody has never got to that point they will never be able to imagine the thoughts,the feelings and the depth of depression that one has while thinking about taking their own lives.Btw i watch your videos every day because they/you make me feel better somehow.Thank you for that Daniel.Nowadays there are only very few things that i care about.
I pray that you NEVER come to the point of totally giving up! Because even though life might seem overwhelming and hard. ALWAYS remember that you ARE LOVED!! Even by people who dont know you!! And as a mother who loss her son instantly in a car crash less than 2 miles from home after work where I was watching his 3 kids and waiting on him to come home. Even after 4 1/2 years of him being gone I STRUGGLE STILL to this day and I will for the rest of my life!! Then a year ago we loss my niece, I found her drowned in the lake, my sister and her was at the lake house and my sister woke up in the middle of the night and couldnt find her! We will NEVER know what happened or why.. she had a beautiful life and family and loved life. But now my sister is living like i have done for the last several years totally heartbroken and struggling to live without part of our being without our child! And i want to say to you even when you feel like giving up PLEASE PLEASE DON'T because you will be destroying the life of someone that loves you more than their own life!! SO I PRAY THAT YOU MAY FIND PEACE AND HAPPINESS HERE IN THIS WORLD AND THAT YOU NEVER GIVE UP!! I will be praying for you🙏🙏🙏
I’ve been where you are now. Sometimes it’s just about taking the next breath, and the next one. Ask for help, from the Universe, just say: I need help. Maybe you have it in you to reach out to other people, a friend, a councillor. Talk. Maybe they won’t understand, but you will start to understand yourself better. It’s a journey, my friend. I’m still here, and i didn’t think i would be. And i’m so, so grateful that i am. It’s a disease, depression. Suicide is one of it’s symptoms, but it’s not the inevitable end. You can get better, feel joy again, be glad to be alive again. Don’t think too far ahead. Stay in the now. Just keep taking that next breath. Reach out. I wish you well, my friend. 🌷
I have been where you are, too. I am much better now, but I really expierienced hell.. Sometimes it is about pushing and pushing and pushing to get out of it. Don't be shy to ask anyone for help, may it be friends or family, if that is not an option a professional is great.. Find good coping mechanisms for yourself
Szia István! Many have been where you are now. What you are feeling is not such an isolated case. Is it possible that feeling lonely is more pressing than depression itself? I think you can solve whatever issues you have, it might be the social aspect that need to be sort out first. You're not alone with your feelings, it's quite a universal condition. Would you be willing to reach out?
I hear you. Mental health care just slipped from poor to worse in Texas. A person without means or transportation can't just pop out and do something lovely..not safe to walk the neighborhood. I've been in my apartment 2&1/2 years trying to get just a little leg up.
What a beautiful message. Everything you said is so true and I wish all the young people could hear this. You are such a beautifully sensitive man and I so appreciate your videos.
Sorry for your loss. Mental Health services are taken for granted in Ireland and England, until someone needs it. Then you very quickly realize that those hard working people have their hands tied severely and their ability to fully help anyone is limited. I have experienced similar with a family member, Luckily she survived but by pure luck. Getting her the help she needs proved to be nearly impossible. The mental Health services in Ireland literally released her without prescribing her any medication and as a family we are now under constant worry about that family member, especially during lockdown as we cannot keep in contact as much as we would like with them.
Mental health services in Ireland are a disgrace
Mental health services are part of the problem not the solution.
@@Tomas-ml9nv you can argue that too
@@kidpresentable6004 I do have to agree, I just didnt want to insult anyone working in those fields. I am sure some of them do care they just have their hands tied.
@@murigrim well yes it's the legislation that is a major issue , GPS in this country and across the western world have a lot to answer for. Not just for the mental health but the overall drug crime wave. Doctors are handing out prescription drugs such as dalmane, zanex, zimmovanes etc like candy. Talk about a short term solution for a really long term problem. This has led to not only mental health issues but has caused a crime wave. Many young men and women are strung out on these and are causing mayhem... Serious social issues because of this in Ireland. This celtic genetic contains a highly addictive personality gene..
Thank you for this video, Daniel. And I am so sorry to hear about you and your family's loss!
This subject affects so many of us, and not just in Western societies where the pressure of high achieving "performance" and keeping up a certain facade has become sadly normal...
For me, whenever I was at a low point, picking up the phone to ring or text friends or family or even knocking at my neighbours door always felt too hard. Asking for help felt like a failure, humiliating, opening a bottomless pit of shame... Helplines can be helpful, yes.
What saved me repeatedly were the check-ins from the outside world just stating something along the lines of "I'm thinking of you right now. So glad you exist!" (showing me others loved me simply for BEING me - not doing, achieving, aspiring...).
And also to think that I didn't want to leave a mess of untied ends to my brother... if I ended things "simply" because I had lost all energy to face another minute of having to dig myself out of that dragging heavy, murky, darkness yet again...
But as you also said, in the end what can cause the final split second decision to end one's life definitively is something only each individual person knows and has within their own hands. Ultimately, no one else can judge or prevent someone who is suicidal from going through with their plan if that decision is final in that moment and nobody is physically present to stop them.
Loosing a close friend to suicide years ago made me realise that. And knowing those low points and the energy it takes to battle them or even just sit them out until the sun comes through again, I always respected his choice - while simultaneously feeling so very sad he is no longer around with his amazing energy, wits, sensitivity and smile...
What really struck me recently when reading on the origins of mental health issues was how pervasive "trauma" is at the bottom of so many of them.
Peter Levine and others even speak of a "pandemic" of trauma related health issues!
Not trauma in the old narrow sense only - as in war, natural disasters, crude physical and sexual violence. But so many more facettes of seemingly "everyday" trauma that can start with our experiences in the womb (as surprising as that may sound!), our birthing process and those very formative years as infants which may set us up for life - or may be the origin for a lot of neurological, hormonal and immunological dysregulation if something goes wrong and remains unrecognised/ unaltered.
As a doctor and someone who suffered from depression/burnout repeatedly over years, I unfortunately only learnt about the insights of the "polyvagal theory" (Stephen Porges) and related studies into the physiological impacts of trauma as well as the - fortunately nowadays available - amazing treatment options in Sept this year.
What an eye opener.
And saddeningly, only so late...
Most doctors and psychotherapists still don't know the difference between "talking therapy" and - body centred - trauma therapy approaches.
I very much appreciated UK psychotherapist Benjamin Fry sharing his personal story of severe, crippling anxiety (despite having a very full "golden" life, great circle of friends, family, job, education...) and his road to recovery with the help of body focused trauma therapy (trauma related to losing his mum at age 2). He put his experiences out there in many TH-cam videos, interviews, articles as well as his book "The Invisible Lion".
Similarly, Bessel van der Kolk ("The Body Keeps The Score") and Peter Levine (the "father" of trauma therapy) as well as many other greats in trauma therapy have put themselves out there time and again, telling of their own experiences and work - in TH-cam videos, TED talks, interviews,... A great source of inspiration and relief for anyone suffering not only from mental health issues but also many physical ailments such as migraines, chronic pain, autoimmune diseases, ...
I was surprised myself to see how much can be linked back to trauma - and how efficient those modern body centred treatments can be.
We can all try to make life better for each other by checking in with our loved ones, just on a whim, randomly, whenever we think of them.
And we can raise a joyful, healthy environment for every person by showing them that they are loved for who they ARE (not just for their actions/ achievements), showing them community and connection and the abundance nature provides every day with that sunray, raindrop, beautiful leaf, unusual flower, critters of all sizes, growing food for all constantly...
Thanks for adding to that gentleness, kindness and humility humanity needs so direly these days, Daniel, through your cheer- and thoughtful presence via your channel!
This is so sad. I have a friend that also suffered and he also committed suicide. Even after all this time I think of him. Stay safe and my condolences to you and your family.
Deeply sorry for your loss, Daniel. Your words get me back on the right track and help me retain the momentum and motivation to face with the challenges and the obstacles that life throws at me. In the pursuit of success, we forget to live and create our own reality. The success of life is to find your own source of happiness no matter how different it is to what the society considers it to be. Once you have managed to reach it, you begin living your own life.
M on
I am so sorry for your loss Daniel. It’s very sad when someone decides that suicide is the only way out. I knew someone who was a colleague at work years ago, who was going through a divorce and had a job where he was having to deal with people and their problems. He must have been truly overwhelmed and felt that throwing himself in front of a train was the only way to be free of everything. He left 2 young daughters.
I lost a friend to suicide last April. I think of him and miss him every day. I wish he would have heard something similar to this. Thank you for your kind, encouraging words to remind people that they're not alone.
We must encourage men to talk more. That its ok to express their sadness and stress. There is so much pressure on them while at the same time being told to 'man up or grow a pair etc' People are not allowed to do and feel what they want. But you are right. There are ways out. I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much for this video. I am so sorry for the loss of your cousin. I recently lost my father to suicide (he lingered in a vegetative state for three months). I only wish I could have said something like this to him before he passed. I have had trouble finding the love I once had for many things now that he is gone. But I know I have to try because he would want me to be happy...
Thank you for this video. As someone who has carried depression with me since I was 12, I know how dark those places can get when suicide seems the only release. In that dark frame of mind I reason my death wouldn’t matter. Conversely, I still get angry at times at a friend who took his life last year for making that decision. As I’ve matured and significantly shifted my mental state I feel, for me, depression is mostly related to having to stifle a limitless soul into a series of societal systems, all of which are broken. I’ve found pieces of the puzzle in counseling, in meditation, in friendships, in nature, and most abundantly when I’m able to step outside of my story and help others. Easing another’s pain eases mine as well. Your journey inspires me to seek a similar situation, free of as much of the rat race as possible. I’ve even reached out to you on Worldpackers. Anyway, thanks for living an example of a life choice too many people may not realize is an option. I’ll bet you have saved a few lives and not even known it.
My condolences on your loss Daniel. Thank you for what you said - I'm not suicidal but at a crossroads in my life. Your words helped me so much, more than you could possibly know. In a way, you've confirmed what I already knew about my path but didn't know if I had the courage to act. Thank you so much.
Though living as you do may not have have been his thing, I can't help thinking he would have rejuvenated him. A month ago someone important to me took his life. I do not condemn his action but it's so final for me.
This is an important video. Thank you for taking the time to post this message and I’m very sorry for the loss of your cousin. You’re a guiding light for many people and this beautiful video may very well save lives. Bravo.
My sister had an accident aged 24 she died. She had death fantasies which she shared with a number of people. Once i was there and she was enthusiastic about the role that ancient sacrificed people had in helping the survivers with the spirits. I liked when you said that your cousin had the right to end his life. This has never occured to me. You are very beautiful and inspiring human.
That’s why I don’t just don’t do those New Years Resolutions around the holidays. It’s more like today didn’t work out but tomorrow is another chance to try again!
Hi Dan. I appreciate you making this video. Same happened to my brother around the time this video was uploaded. Some days I still can’t believe it. It’s tragic and sad and hard to wrap my mind around how common it is. I did my best for years to be a support but it was not enough.
Bless you for your heartfelt words and for reaching out from a profound place within yourself. Thank you.
So sorry for your families loss especially for the children left behind. What you said was very well said. Enjoy all that you are doing on your homestead.
I am going through my own challenges & I so needed to hear this now, thanks !
Let’s all do our best and make this train journey the best ride of our life 🤗
Very painful for those left behind.
Wise words, Daniel. I agree, life is definitely a roller coaster and you have to hang on for dear life and try to enjoy the ride, at least some of the time! So sorry for your family's loss .....
You’ve never said exactly what your unfulfilling career was (at least, I don’t think so) but surely you made a living as a writer. Or a soeaker. Well, you certainly COULD. I suppose you DO, in a way...here on your channel.
I’m not suicidal but if I were, I think your words would give me pause.
Daniel has another video where he explained why he left his job and what it was....😊 🇬🇧
Yeah, I was thinking either a teacher or a social worker, because he is a natural teacher, has a strong social conscience and is very empathetic. He’s just an all round decent human.
I wish I could tell you how much the things you say, resonate with my own life path. I am 70 (that is my real picture) and moved to Mexico 2 years ago. I have been an overcomer all my life, and trust me, (well you already know) OVERCOMING works!
You are a kind and thoughtful man Daniel. My sincerest sympathies.
Sorry for your loss brother. Really like what you do, and your sharing of it.