All the editing was done by Neil Farrell (of Neil Farrell Entertainments, aka "The Liberal Cook" th-cam.com/channels/358urzyldvD78E9o2sR-Og.html ), and their content is absolutely amazing! If you like the editing style of this video (and the content - their work comes from a similar perspective to mine!), be sure to check out their channel!
I love all the graphic design and animated text ect ... But to be honest it should be spice not the main course .. I subscribed to a smart lady talking sense to a camera ... This isn't that .. it's still good, I'm not unsubscribing or anything but it seems that me like all that graphics takes at least as much work as being on camera .. so just trying to save you some effort. :)
Nice video. The parenting styles are pretty cut dry, essentially it is the classification of how the parents treat their child in their upbringing. But the methods and style that this Bozo would be using is beyond authoritative, he is saying to rule in fear like a dictator and that their subjects(children) should be happy and never question them. If there is one thing that official historians and psychologists could agree on it is that this is a recipe for trouble that only completes short term goals, at some point it all crumbles down.
I’ve watched a few of your videos and enjoyed them very much. The one on food was great and I just watched the one on conspiracy theories, which is also really good (if not so easy to put into practice). Yes, I agree that this guy gives extremely bad advice on parenting, IMO. I just wish you hadn’t thrown in the comment about his qualifications. If the state where he works allows him to call himself a psychologist, then (in that state and according to their standards) he *is* a psychologist. This is an issue which occurs in many professions. For instance, you can train as a medical doctor in one country but your qualifications may not meet the standard in another, so you’ll need further training to work there. You had plenty of dirt on him without bringing up a non issue but still, great video and I, who raised a child to adulthood, doing the exact opposite of what he recommends, 100% agree with your other arguments.
'At 70 your child will remember being locked in a room for a month.' Yes, she will certainly remember that when selecting the nursing home to lock you into
They don't want children; they want glorified pets. They don't care about the child getting trauma or depression so long as the child doesn't show any symptoms. "Obedient children are happy children" is nothing more than them trying to coincide the belief that they are good people with what they are doing when deep down they know that they are the bad guys.
No, I don't think that's the case. Many of their arguments about how to deal with the poor are almost identical to how they say to deal with children. What they want is to enforce hierarchy. In their eyes it's important to install a sense of hierarchy between parent and child cause when that child grows up they will have the same obedience towards their boss.
Here's my problem: unless you're on the absolute cutting-edge forefront of a particular field, you shouldn't cite yourself - that goes double for this guy since he explicitly states he doesn't do original studies/research. If PragerU had even the slightest amount of academic integrity, that would be a dealbreaker...since it isn't, one can only come to a single conclusion.
When I was younger my mom would punish me without explaining what I did wrong. My youngest years with memory were the years that I needed the most explanations (for me at least.) My moms parenting is a lot better now thankfully.
I knew I hated that idea of "because I said so" at like 5 because it seemed too lazy, if it is really that important that I should listen to them then they should be able to explain to me exactly why or else they don't understand.
99% of rules are flawed in the real world. It doesn't take a tremendous level of intelligence to find said flaws and argue against them. The question is, should a 35 year old take crap from an 8 year old, and the answer is no.
@@111olbapMaybe the 35 years old should wise up and explain stuff instead of just ordering kids around. There are bratty kids, but if didn't bother to explain Why ypu ask Something of them, thats a problem that started with you, not them. Alternatively, Don't have kids, so you dont have any problems with them. Simple
Actually, it's amazing how many times a day can conservative people approach the point without actually getting it. It's pretty much their lifestyle, and it's not hard to understand why: They don't care about anything except what they already want to do; "science", "reasoning", "moral decency" and "human rights" are just useful labels to support that preconceived end while they preach the opposite of what those labels refer to at the same time.
That's him implicitly giving the viewer the opportunity to discount and ignore anything that they choose to disagree with. It's propaganda, it has nothing to do with awareness.
Usually unless you are some idiot, there is nothing why you shroud respect your parents as they are not better than you are. they are just another pair of unfortunate people trying to survive in this horrible world.
When my brother was young, like toddler ages, my mom took him for his doctor visit, and yes he is autistic (Asperger's, but they no long classify it), and my mom asked how to help him through breakdowns, the doctor literally said "lock him in his room until he stops". Needless to say my mom cussed him out, left, got a new doctor, and did not do that to him of course. This was in the early 2000s. I'm glad we treat people who are on the spectrum and who are neurodivergent like actual people now. It's wonderful
@@N_IRL similar situation here, although they are more careful about it and dont go far enough to cause physical harm, we already tried cps but they cant help without physical markings
@@moonbox0929 he’s a conservative, they genuinely think you can argue anything even if you have no point to argue. Like they’ll just say anything, especially pragerU
@@ezbody Considering that PragerU is Republican law/government asskissing propaganda it wouldn't surprise me if that's something they would unironically say.
They really are at all times only arms length away from advocating spousal abuse. Dennis "The Good Ol Days" Prager is probably developing that video right now.
He is a bad guy, but if you referring to an unspecified child you would call it "it" or "they". Which is kinda what he does. Otherwise, he is a very bad parenting advisor.
@@edwardsheeran9220 Sure, you can. But you could also NOT be that much of a creep. Bar on the ground here, we're just asking the guy to drop the shovel and stop digging
"Obedient children are happy children" is a twisted take on something that is almost certainly true: "children will feel happy and safe when they can look to their parents as confident trusted leaders". Any parent who is not by nature a confident leader but who tries to implement PraferU's advice will come across as insecure and abusive.
Even beyond the unsubstantiated correlation, there's a question of causality here: does obedience actually make children happy, or are happy children just more likely to cooperate with the needs and desires of their family?
But children develop executive function very slowly and it is cruel to make them responsible for understanding all the reasons behind rules that are made for their wellbeing. A responsible caregiver should have the authority to offer the child simple choices with clear consequences while they develop those executive functioning skills.
Surprising lack of this in the comments section. Not entirely free, but far more sensible people in the "hitting an adult is assault, but hitting a child is not? That's madness!" camp than I would expect.
Oh God, I have a cousin like that, not the toast part but the getting beaten up pretty badly part and they say "it was necessary" when in fact you mustn't go overboard with punishment. That's abuse.
@@siiroblank2854 punishment as a whole I think is overused. Not saying all punishment is bad, but rewarding behavior and positive reinforcement is much more effective.
@@moosesandmeese969 Eh, not necessarily, I believe it should be according to the children's behavior and personality/mental health. Pretty much case by case to avoid encouraging and justifying horrible behavior in certain children or not to shove ADHD children more and more into vicious circle of being punished for behavior they cannot control and searching for attention because they are ostracized for being themselves, until they become isolated and bitter or spoiled douchebag.
@@moosesandmeese969 I agree, however I believe it is also important to teach children that bad behavior results in consequences (spanking okay not down right abuse) otherwise they'll understand too late what happens when you start acting up
I love how using himself as a source is basically his parenting model. "How do you know that not explaining things is better parenting?" "Because I said so."
I mean knock yourself out and hope your novel sells well, but Rosemond is definitely right here. Everyone in the comments section here seems to be conflating "children" with "adults" and "governments" with "families". Anyone who has ever raised a two year-old knows that a family pretty much has to be a totalitarian mini-government, with the mom and dad as the dictators. It definitely can't be a democracy every time the two year-old wants candy, screams at the toy store for not getting his way, or begs for 3 more hours of screen time. The very key to the opposite of a dystopian society is a free one in which the citizens possess the ability to self-govern, and the science is pretty clear that the ability to self-govern is heavily tied to whether the citizens are raised in two-parent households where rules and discipline are the norm.
"At 70 your child will remember being locked in a room for a month." This also answers why some children go no-contact with their families after reaching adulthood.
I did do exactly that. I never got a reason for anything my parents said, if my dad and i got into a argument, he LITERALLY COMPARED HIMSELF TO A FUCKING GORILLA. And on several occasons, he tried to physically assault me. So everytime i think about maybe contacting them again, i quickly remember the mentally scarring shit they would do to me. I didnt even say the horrible shit my step mother would do to me. I dont regret for a second when i decided to go no contact.
Dehumanization at its finest. "Children and women aren't people! Only adult men that agree with me are people! And even then they're on thin ice for not being me!" Either that or they're trying to stick it to the left so hard by refusing to use singular "they" as a pronoun. Or both!
@@Inannawhimsey As someone whose pronouns are it/its unironically irl (I like the idea of someone being unable to figure out what I am; "Lyra" isn't my real name lmfao), there's a world of difference between someone respecting your pronouns and someone literally dehumanizing you. This is an obvious case of the latter imho
I don’t see how it’s fundamentally wrong to want your children to follow the rules you set and not disobey? From the parents perspective their rules are right. I would figure you would want your children to follow your rules.
@@oj59 how is that relevant to "obedient children are happy children" ? Besides that, "commanding" them teaches them to obey authority blindly and not think for themselves. Great for governments and predators, not for individuals.
-Don't love your children -Don't explain how the world works -Don't see them as people with independent ideas but as an extension of your own -assert dominance Ahh yes this will totally turn into an adult who is capable and will not lead to them running away from their parents.
- Don’t always *display* unconditional love - Don’t always *explain* why one must respect proper authority - Don’t treat children like adults (because they aren’t) If you actually listen to what the man says, the person this child grows up to be sounds like a functioning member of society.
Especially since the term "alpha" in regards to the wolves used to come up with the term, literally would mean "scared, confused individual who doesn't belong there at all, who is left alone because it's the biggest and scariest." Because, fun fact, that term comes from throwing a bunch of wolves from their original family packs, into a single enclosure and seeing what happens. It's literally just short of having dogs fight, and assuming the one that wins is the leader afterwards.
“I’d like to know if my 40 year old daughter remembers that time I confined her to her room for a month. Can’t say for sure, as she hasn’t spoken to me in over 20 years.”
The Prageru video said nothing about locking, or confining, children to their rooms. Zoe Bee just made that up for a thumbnail and to make you angry and clicking.
@@MrHoggReads ok for the sake of discussion, lets say they did. That doesnt excuse his lack of credibility and his history of bad ideas about parenting.
@@MrHoggReads it wasnt mentioned in the video she mentioned, but the person Bee is examining did give that advice. As clickbaity as it is, its not necessarily lying. Timestamp: 11:48
Not explaining things to children is a recipe for disaster, you basically keeping your children in check with fear. And the moment they aren't afraid of you then they will be completely out of your control. If you child actually likes you, you don't need to shout orders at them.
You should explain things when it is warranted. Sometimes they should just do it. When you go to work you shouldn't question your boss. Or you get fired.
@@icecreamhero2375 huh, first of all I can’t see a reason to not explain to children why they do things all the time, how else will they know to keep doing that when you aren’t around “because I said so” and “you’ll understand when you’re older” aren’t really going to stick with them effectively, also the relationship someone has with their child isn’t comparable to relationship with your employer (not to mention the fact a lot employers explain why they want something done without without you even asking)
@@jerm-gv9rv Kid: Why do we wear clothes. Me to keep us warm Kid: Why do I have to take out the trash. You have two arms that aren't broken Me: I said so do it.
This stuff sounds *EXACTLY* how I was raised. No, I was not happy. *I was terrified, and feared for my life every day for years.* I still have PTSD today 45+ years later.
At least he is consistent. His point is basically: the only justification your kid deserves is “because I said so”. And his evidence is “because I said so.”
He got it backwards. It's not "obedient children are happy children" its "happy children who have all their needs met are more likely to be obedient," Everyone, please take care of your children.
@@youkaliciousx299 its okay to say no to your child but its not okay to be abusive to them. a child can handle a no but a child cannot handle unreasonable punishment and extreme control
@@youkaliciousx299 wants are not needs as long as you talk reasonably with your child as to why they don’t need that much candy an understanding will be formed children are not idiots.
@@youkaliciousx299 That's very obviously not what I was saying, a strawman argument if I ever heard one. But to answer your question: no you shouldn't, you can still have children that are happy even if you set reasonable limits.
If a kid can “pick apart your argument” then it probably wasn’t a good argument, and maybe you should reevaluate it. If my kid can give me a good reason as to why a rule doesn’t work/ is unfair I plan on listening. That’s fair.
My mother raised me as the exact opposite of this advice. She ALWAYS gave me a why. When I would argue, she'd reason with me until I either gave up or accepted it. Sure, maybe in the early stages of life I was a rowdy toddler because I don't want to do what she's making me do, but as life went on, it got easier and easier to see that 95% of the time, she was right. The thing is, asking "Why" also occasionally led her to realize she made a mistake. That was also an important lesson; Mom can be wrong. She isn't always wrong, but she CAN be. As I grew up, I applied the same line of thinking to other authority figures. I will do what you ask if you can give me a satisfactory "why". That obviously led to perceived authority issues, though I never have had a true "rebellious phase". My mother isn't perfect, but I'm pretty lucky that I was raised by who I was raised by. I always want a "why", which deeply influenced my political standings, those I was friends with, and my general outlook on life. So parents, always tell people why.
lucky. my dad HATES it when i ask why when he wants me to do something that’s small and insignificant example: one time i had my shoes downstairs because i wanted them to be cleaner and taking shoes off infront or near the door is respectful. i tried doing that for about two weeks but then I got told to take them upstairs and said why. “just go put them upstairs!” “but why? i like them down here” “😠😡…they dont belong down here” yes, when i argue back he starts doing this dumbass staring thing like i just said “im pregnant” “you never had a problem with them before” “😠😠😠😡😡😡😡….i have a problem with them now!” and ofc since he’s the dad i eventually had to do it then the next day he came to me and said “😠😡😡😡😡next time i tell you to do something you DO IT! im not arguing with you” which basically translates to “dont question me. do as i say no matter fucking what” yeah i dont like my dad also to keep this short, for context, i recently started getting the courage to argue back with him whenever he did or said something that bothered me. obviously this was seen as a “challenge to his authority” otherwise he wouldnt resort to yelling and then telling me not to yell (which i literally never did/do when talking to him) if you want me to explain how THAT happened i will in another comment. this is long enough. can you tell im starting to not like my dad?
Most Psychologists can't either. Diagnosing medication is generally only allowed for psychiatrists, which is a small subset of the larger field of psychology
I remember watching Dr. Phil years ago and he said go into your kids room while they're at school, listen to their CDs and if you don't approve of any of them, put them in the microwave to ruin them! That'll show them! I remember his whole thing was "your only job is to get them through until they're 18, not be their friend" like yeah okay -you definitely won't have a relationship with them after they get away from you then
@@Doofinon Of course. By the time they came back from the ranch? They were supposed to be 18 and want nothing to do with them. And if the program didn’t work? Not his problem, now they’re adults.
Yeah, Dr Phil is actually the worst person to go to for parenting advice. His whole show is about humiliating children who are already dealing with a lot
"My child is argumentative" is just a translation of "I won't deal with a full human being, I prefer a talking pet". I am happy that my kid is "argumentative" even though it obviously requires more work.
@@suezuccati304 My mother spied through my device, found the non legal shotacon anime/art, she got angry, upset and never discussed it with me; i resent her a lot about just that particular situation, it's not like the cartoons are going to make me turn into the same people that violated her within her childhood.
"you can always pick apart an explanation" if you're the type of person to be losing in an argument with a literal child then maybe you shouldn't be a parent in the first place
I work in childcare. I can tell you true, the reason kids aren't being described as "obedient" is because that's no longer the desired trait. You don't want kids doing the right thing because they're told or because they get punished. You want them to do the right thing because its the right thing to do. If they ask "Why do I need to do that?" The answer is not "Because you need to obey me" You tell them WHY said instruction matters, so they learn. The trait that has replaced "obedience" is helpfulness. You want kids who *want* to listen and who respect you.
Bingo. You want your kids to *think* about their assigned tasks - to function as part of an integrated team - rather than focus solely on avoiding punishment.
Besides, "Because I said so." Tends to make some kids think that adults are unreasonable, and gets them to rebel. (First hand case. My sister was like this.)
That's part of it but I think it's bigger than that. It's also related to the atomization of society. In the past you had strong friend groups for adults, church, unions and so on. There was a lot more society in a child's life that they could just go along with. Today the only two guides a child has are their teacher and their parents. Also online fraud is rampant, temptations are everywhere and having a good stable job is mostly a thing of the past. So obedience just isn't really a useful trait anymore in today's society. Obedience is only a useful trait if you are surrounded by people you can trust.
The kicker is that I would not listen to my mother if I didn't think the reason was good, but because she took the time to explain the reason, the few times she forbade me to do something without providing a reason I just implicitly trusted her judgement and didn't do it.
If you don't give your kids PTSD you're basically abusing them, I'm calling CP RIGHT NOW! Attention sarcasm! This view is a backasswards fresh steaming hot pile of bs
The more painful the lesson, the longer you remember it. Parenting is a difficult and challenging task of preparing them for long term success in adulthood. That means remembering otherwise harmless mistakes that would be devastating to relearn in adulthood.
Of course, PragerU wants obedient children, who don't question the establishment or motive. After all, PragerU is funded by -a shifty oil conglomerate- well-meaning businessmen from the oil industry. They want obedient little work-drones and not free-thinking people, who could potentially threaten the status quo.
Or dont even know what it is to be happy. They are just numb. Hi, source me, as having an emotionally neglected upbringing and being that 'well mannered obedient' child. Sometimes it was also due to fear, which is not the way to raise children
@@PoptartParasol I'm really sorry to hear. As somebody who had abusive parents (luckily I moved out at 18 and haven't spoken to them since) I hope things are better.
If there is a logical argument against their feelings that they claim to be scientific, there is just "the left brainwashing" or "betas" or "government coverups". These are all seperate groups using unproven and unprovable arguments, Prager U wants us to believe we are brainwashed, "alpha males" want us to believe that we are just "beta" cucks using fake science and conspiracy groups don't actually care about the science, anyone can be a spy for "the system" and proof against them is always fake.
“I’m smart, you’re dumb, I’m big, you’re small, I’m right, you’re wrong. And there’s nothing you can do about it” - Matilda’s Foster Dad, literally a character with the sole purpose of being a bad parent, still explains shit to his kids
If I was a child molester, I don't think I could come up with a more disconcerting phrase to lull my victims into a false sense of security than "Obedient children are happy children."
yeah this holy shit kids need to not obey any adult they meet unquestioningly because that's basically giving people who seek to do things that will harm them the key
@Polite Comments On Current Affairs No old person has ever called me "it", he is the ONLY old person I've heard call a person "it", and they would NOT get away with calling me "it".
@@tayk.t.523 bold of you to assume this man is merely old. I’d wager carbon dating his bones places him in the timeframe of being a feudal lord (it would certainly explain his stance on obedience).
7. it is common sense...... well I like to say it is common sense but what I actually mean by that is its an old dated view from the past that any sane person from current day doesn't see as common sense
It's a very old way of viewing child/parent relationships, from a time when we didn't know as much about childhood development as we do now. Terms such as autism, ADHD, and learning disability didn't exist. The physically and mentally disabled weren't thought fully capable of comprehending the world. Mentally ill and mentally disabled children and adults were often beaten and drugged into submission by people who didn't know any better or who were simply cruel.
I would think the abusive ideologies this goon is promoting is inappropriate EVEN for a master-servant relationship with a pet. Let alone another vulnerable human being.
this man is not offering advice. he is offering justifications so that the parents abusing their kids (and husbands abusing their spouses) can assuage their guilt about it
Funny thing is that conservatives use George Orwell as their great truth about left. They probably don't know that Orwell was a socialist Anti-Stalinist. Ministry of truth in 1984 is basically Orwell describing his time in BBC.
@@MikeSW no. Why do you think that? No child should resent their parents, it may happen just because of how children may not like their children’s decisions, but even that isn’t resentment
My mom would explain why I shouldn't do something, I said "okay" and didn't do it. My dad spanked me and yelled at me to do things without telling me why. (I found out as an adult that my mom had no idea he was doing this, it was always while she was out with friends) Guess which parent I still am in contact with as an adult and have healthy communication skills with?
Another reason why corporal punishment is a terrible idea: when you get into the mindset of beating your children, what's stopping you from beating anyone else who disobeys you, say, your spouse?
I never thought of it that way, it won't only make the kids feel helpless, it'll make the parents helpless to their own learnt behaviour, even long after their kids leave (which they'll probably try to do as quick as possible)
Honestly, how do you even back up the idea that beating your spouse is wrong if you think it's alright to beat your kids? Because your spouse may be smaller and weaker than you? Because you'll traumatize them? Because it's a betrayal of someone you're supposed to love and protect? Because it's wrong to use physical violence outside of self-defense? What part of this would be less true for small dependent developing children than for a fully grown adult? And how do you justify the one if you know the other is wrong?
Children do not have fully developed capacities of reason, and thus, in place of certain rational discussions, sensory pain can perfectly reasonably be employed (just as sensory pleasure can.) Adults do have fully developed capacities of reason, and thus, in place of certain sensory actions, rational discussion can be employed. In short, things are distinct from one another. Adults are not children, neither are children adults.
@@Theonlyomahermit So what if an adult doesn't have full capacities of reason? If your partner is having a manic episode or your parents get Alzheimer's does it become reasonable for you to start beating them to make them comply? Will this cause them to trust you? Will this cause them to trust the world in general, to be able to feel any sense of safety and happiness?
I've found that children raised to not question their parents, tend to not question authority, just accepting that "it's like this and it's never gonna change" rather than "it's like this and it shouldn't be like this"
This may be debatable, but I have a strong feeling religion plays a part in this. If your parents were born and raised in a family and community that taught them about an unquestionable all powerful and perfect being that deserves worship and can define what good and bad is arbitrarily and punish you for doing something they consider bad without having to explain themselves to you, but you´re supposed to be complicent and thankful to them because they "love you". And if your parents accept this, it´s no surprise they feel entitled to the obedience of their own children.
@@satoru7601 As a Christian I do believe it can play a part in that, but that's usually someone who doesn't understand the Bible, it says above all else kindness and love are the most important thing (behind God obviously). I do agree that it can be the case but I think it's usually the un-understanding and the fake people of religion. I also don't exactly understand all the rules, but mainly the only one I find unfair is the one where it says you can't he gay. But I also find it a bit odd because it only mentions men doing it and not women. Other than that it all makes sense to me, but Jesus may or may not have said being gay isn't an issue, so it's a bit in the grey area. Sorry for the rambling, let me know if I can clarify this any better for you
I used to be the obedient kid. I used to be the "speak only when spoken to" kid. Growing up, I used to think being obedient, docile, mild mannered, always agreeable & untroublesome were always good things. Now I'm coming to see how much that has damaged my psyche. Being obedient doesn't teach you how assert yourself in a healthy but definite way. Being obedient doesn't teach you how to confront someone when it is necessary. It doesn't teach you how to carry yourself with enough confidence so that your not seen as a doormat. All it accomplishes is making it easy and convenient for someone else when they want to control or deal with you. I've had to learn this all myself in my adult years and still have to work on myself to unlearn, decades old behaviours.
Now I’m reconsidering how I act because of this….I pretty much fit this mold to a t. Being all those things to me, made me come off as innocent, and innocent is more positive than the word assertive imo. So I’ve always been proud of that fact. But you’re right, I don’t speak up when I feel off about things, especially around friends. I know I have my faults…for starters I have terrible social skills so much so that I don’t believe I’ve made any friends that are female, I don’t make an effort to really go out with my friends my friends have fo do it for me, when I’m confronted by my parents I give “yeahs” and “I will” to do homework which I almost never do, when I’m really confronted by my parents I just go completely silent constantly thinking about what to say but never saying anything which leads to my parents never getting any sort of feel of my thought process. I just stay silent, wait for things to settle down, then head upstairs and repeat.
I used to be the kid who was really obedient at school, kinda quiet, got good grades and some good friends, and then went home and was really bad and disobedient and loud. You know, I was disobedient but I was happy, really happy. That was probably one of the happiest years of my life.. looks like obedient kid ≠ happy kid huh
My parents weren't shy of physical punishment, and I never was afraid of them. I respected them. I still do to this day, and think back to how much of a little shit I really was. I still have no issue asking them for help then I did back then. How fucked up is little idiots psyches that they can't move on?
I was about to say. Why not use “them” or “him or her?” They have a life, they aren’t property. (You’d think someone like him who argues the kid is a life before the kid is a life would realize that.)
What was your first clue? (Light hearted) They obviously don't see kids as people at all Like how dare you respect your child, don't you know they're happiest when living in constant fear of abuse and assault (sarcasm!)
To play Devil's advocate, isn't this exactly what the political left and planned parenthood do when referring to an unborn baby? They don't call it a growing child, a boy, a girl, they call them an "it" or a fetus.
Honestly, describes a “parent” in this very comment section (of the video) beat for beat. They think locking your child up in the equivalent of prison is actually good for the child
This is the same type of stuff Hitler and Stalin encouraged, and with all the book bans recently, I am getting worried about what the next dictatorship will be (not because I am in the US, just because the US is powerful and the UK's tories love them)
@Nogilthazaa What the- The United States is 28% atheist That 82% figure, if true, means there's a good chance that 10% of the American population are atheists that believe in angels W h a t
@@lazuliartz1296 Is this actually an issue. I have never met anyone conservative or not that thinks they is not an appropriate pronoun for an individual. I have met people who oppose preferred pronouns but even they use they in the singular.
@@itsjaydee2228 I have definitely met people (as someone who uses they/them) who don't believe it can be used singular. (Have in fact had people comment to me that, have also met a couple people in real life). Obviously, we use they all the time in a singular way. I think these people are just so caught up in opposing preferred pronouns that they forget we use "they" in every day life.
@@jahcode6132 the difference is that he doesn’t want to use he or she since that assumes the child’s gender and he also doesn’t think they is a pronoun for one person. Meanwhile you know that this guy is a man and his pronouns are he/him so you saying calling him “it” is not as justified as his reason for using “it” and while I’m not defending him, your comment was simply disrespectful
@@purp4168, Realizing that ze uses singular "they" and making a conscious effort to stop already catapults hir to the top percentage of transphobe mental faculties
@@DodgerFloof I never understood this idea that abusive parents deserve retirement homes; if someone was abusive to me I wouldn't spend a euro on them: they didn't care about my happiness, I'm not going to care if they become homeless.
In my schools I've always found that the teachers who were extremely nice, but not pushovers, usually had the best classrooms. We always respected these teachers, because they showed us respect by treating us like human beings. On the other hand, there were the teachers who liked to yell and shout at the students. They always demanded respect from us but never bothered to show any. Their classrooms were usually dead quiet, not because the students respected them, but because they feared them If there was anything school has taught me, it's that respect has to be mutual
My science teachers room in a nutshell. My class was loud and chatty, extroverted but once they entered my science teachers room...It went dead, as if we all feared our lives
I had a teacher that was pretty nice and charismatic, but also slammed his wooden meter long ruler on the table with a cheeky grin. We all knew he wasn't going to use it, but it sure got our attention when he needed it. He was also just clearly passionate about what he taught which helped. Meanwhile I had an English teacher who didn't teach English because she'd spend the entire lesson shouting, sending people out, and generally being constantly angry. No one respected her and she didn't respect anyone else. It's no surprise that I failed English to be honest. I had a lot of bad teachers in my time, but she was in the top 3 for sure (Number one gave someone detention for crying after someone had STABBED THEM hard in the finger with a compass. Blood everywhere).
"Obedient children are happy children" or maybe "obedient" children learn to hide their emotions from abusive parents, and then the parents and the rest of the world can just assume the child is happy, since they are displaying no outward signs of sadness
More correctly, parents with obedient children are happy parents. This is what usually happens in the end. The child becomes an extension of the parent's desires, not being able to fulfill their own individual desires.
@@stevengu1253 I think that's pretty much how people used to see children as being in ancient times. Well, until they become big enough they can fight for dominance.
Me the second I become 18: Srsly, I'm gonna get my dad a card not wishing him a happy holiday, and telling him not to expect any more cards or calls. My mom's cool tho.
Speaking as an ex-“obedient child”, most obedient children are terrified, repressed children who will turn into poorly adjusted adults. This dude is basically saying that “you can’t let them argue with you because you don’t actually have any good reason for what you’re doing.”
@Rainwish52 Thank God I'm Not The Only One Lol. It's So Embarrassing And Ofc I Lie To People And Just Pretend I'm Tieing My Shoes When Instead I'm Tucking Them Into The Inside Of My Shoes
To Vintora: That mother you describe sounds too dim to make use of anything except a nightstick or truncheon. Deadbeats like her are exactly why I don't believe anything social conservatives say about parent sovereignty, and why their propaganda for looser checks and balances on families throughout a community is completely harebrained.
@@hailey-rosevintora6211 That sucks :( My parents are also super controlling, I’m 19 and I still don’t have my license. I get scared to ask how to do certain things because everyone else seems to have learned them a long time ago too. Don’t be ashamed to check online though. You’d be surprised what kinds of things there are videos for. I looked it up and there are a few vids on how to tie your shoes on youtube. You can do this!
"Obidient children are happy children" I have been an obidient child. It was a trauma response. I was obidient because i was scared shitless of my father, and i'm not sure if being scared of someone who's supposed to protect you is good
I have ASPD because of all the John Rosemond advise my mom followed, so basically a secondary psychopath's personality. He's the one advising parents to torture their children, but I am the psychopath?
"I'm big, you little, so you listen" While we're at it, let's demolish your sense of wonder and destroy your individuality. Yep, sounds like boomer parent logic. Sounds just like my step dad.
My step-dad was treated like this when he was a kid, apparently, on his birthday, his grandpa died, and his dad locked him in his room and gave him twenty minutes to get over it, I'm an adult so he never really acted like my dad, but he tries and always encourages me to be unapologetically me, and I love that he recognizes what happened to him was wrong, and that takes a really big person. Idk why I typed this out your comment just reminded me of that
The irony is many of the 'boomer generation' were really focused on raising their children differently, most had undergone really bad abuse growing up.
Too much spanking to children will make them grow up to become trolls, keyboard warriors, and people that intentionally pisses you off because they teach fear, not respect, therefore the problem of the internet came from hyper conservative parents.
I tried being obedient in my high school career. I was rarely acknowledged for it. To me happiness was "If I can get through the day without getting in trouble, it will be a good day."
@@TheScrowlingFender7 So how's that depression, conflicting emotions, an incapacity to initiate conversations, and struggles to build and maintain a healthy and balanced relationship treating you?
'Explanations invite arguments' They literally do the opposite. I'm autistic, I will never be willing to do something that doesn't have a logical explanation. Sure, making sure children recognise the authority in parents is important but it can't be bullying.
I have ADHD. I was diagnosed as an adult. A common complaint my dad has had is that ever since I “found the internet”, I’ve “always had an answer” for everything. Two problems with that. First: he’s the person that taught me to be curious and interested in learning. He’s really smart, and he taught me that learning and seeking knowledge is good. Second: reflecting on a life of undiagnosed ADHD, I realize that my brain is interest- motivated. I don’t do things that aren’t interesting. Wanting to know why is me using what I learned from my dad to learn more, and to build a bridge of interest from where I am, to where I am wanted. However, since I was smart, I simply “wasn’t living up to my potential”, instead of “struggling in school”. I wasn’t diagnosed until the collection of life experiences I’d suffered brought me to my first panic attack, which led me to therapy, which led me to diagnoses.
You're both right. I agree with almost the whole thing. Except for the authority part. Probably not a big surprise Considering doggy is an anarchist. But I'm also autistic and as such hyper logical. And there's no good reason for parents to be recognized as authorities, simply because they are parents. As I tried to teach my own bonus kid: You really need to trust someone deeply. To understand their motivation and background for saying what they do. And you should know for sure that they have your best interests in mind, before you just do what they tell you. Obeying ppl just because they made you, or are older than you or because they look cool on insta, is a recipe for disaster and fascism. It's always a good idea to think things through for yourself, before you decide to listen to someone else. Especially when young and impressionable. And I fucking love it when my kid wants to discuss rules and argue with me. Sometimes they win, sometimes I win. But every time we listen to each other and both learn something valuable about the situation and each other. Maybe My definition of authority is different than yours. I do believe that someone can have authority, without being an authority, if that makes sense. IE. If I need my electricity fixed, I'mma call someone who knows how to do it. And I'm not gonna argue with her about how it's done. But I'm also not gonna let her make other decisions in my home. Like... I recognize her having authority in the field of her expertise, but not in general. And that's my general attitude towards power dynamics. My boss is good at organizing the concert venue he runs, he's shit at recognizing disability needs, racism, sexism and such. I'm better at that than he is. So. I trust him to make decisions about the way we run shows. But not about interpersonal stuff between coworkers or guests. And same with the kid I love and care for. They are the expert on their own lives. My experience can help them make their own decisions, but I'm 20 years older than them and have no experience with being a kid on social media for example. Damn. 😅 It got long. Didn't intend to write y'all a whole novel. But apparently I got a lot of thoughts and feelings about this. And I 100% Stan Consent based parenting. And "free range kids" as some Americans like to call it. I just call it equality. And yes. I consider kids my equals. Equals that I'm responsible for feeding, teaching, guiding and protecting. But absolutely competent and smart little humans whom I always try to listen to and consider their opinions in all the decisions we make.
@@ATTACKofthe6STRINGS I've heard that "answer for everything" line many times in my life. I'm also ADHD and I lived with people who wanted me to just take what they said at face value, or they just wanted a conversation to end because they were an adult and I wasn't. To their credit, we were all living through stressful events and life is exhausting, and I was exhausting to talk to sometimes. But I still learned to recognize that what they were saying was ridiculous. Having an answer for everything was just code for "everything doesn't need to turn into a huge discussion, just listen to what I say because XYZ." Sometimes XYZ was valid, usually it wasn't. As an adult, I've actually seen the value in that phrase, which really surprised me. Not in the way people used it for me, but in the sense that I always assume that I'm right. Or I have an answer for things I'm actually not sure about. I'll answer on topics that I'm really not well versed in, just because I think I have a useful answer. And, as you can guess, many times I really don't. But I'm compelled to have an answer for everything, and I'm learning to force myself to double check that what I'm telling people is valid and accurate, before I actually verbalize the information. I can have an answer to everything, but I probably shouldn't.
I find it hilariously ironic that PragerU, so blatantly conservative and anti-authoritarian, start hypocritically telling parents that children should be obedient and not question or argue anything.
To call them a conservative nonprofit is a bit too generous. They may be nonprofit in terms of bookkeeping, but their whole purpose is to act as a dummy organization meant to promote the ideologies that make the companies and political affiliates that directly line their pockets more palettable.
This isn't trauma it's called discipline, something you leftist clearly never had otherwise your argumenta wouldn't be as vapid and vacuous as they are.
@@blacky_Ninja what is this connection to a jail? Kids are called dependents for a reason. Because they are dependents of discipline and order to shape their life.
@@Grstn-Grstn The connection is that NecropolisTC wrote that „traumatizing someone until they don‘t show their true feelings is how jails work“ and i replied that in civilized countrys not even jails are as inhumane as to do what some people do to their own children.
Same. Its taken years of therapy to even begin to undo. That fact that you're on the other side and examining it means you've made it and im proud of you. Some of us just follow along the same parenting script we had handed to us.
I love my parents, but recently (this year) Ive been doing deep self searching and realized how many of my negative social qualities were sorta absorbed from them. But thankfully on a certain "trip" I realized since I was instilled with these qualities not born with them, that means they're removable as well.
This is all in service to capitalism. Teach your kids to blindly listen to authority, so they won’t push back against political figures they won’t push back against their employers, and they won’t push back against the clergy.
My most proud moment as a parent was when my mother in law tried the whole "I am your elder, do as I say" crap during an argument and my 6yo son just shouts back "THAT'S NOT A GOOD REASON". She then started to get physically aggressive with him at which point I intervened. It illustrated the problem with the authoritarian approach perfectly: if demanding and yelling doesn't work then you have nowhere else to go but physical assault.
@@ryanp7546 I think the secret, more than anything, is simply remembering what it was like to be a kid and how frustrating it was feeling like you have no control over your own life. I just give my son some simple courtesies such as asking nicely, letting him finish his TV show if the thing I'm asking isn't urgent (or explaining why it is), and if he can't finish his TV show then suggesting a time when he can (e.g. after school). Takes me maybe an extra 10 seconds versus just demanding he do it now and switching off the TV abruptly, and results in a far better response from him. Now he feels like his wants are respected, and is more willing to accept when he can't satisfy them right at that moment.
How dare someone barely related to your child put her hands on your son. Your six year old son. Your mother in law seems like a bit of a sicko tyrant. Geez.
@Dylan Williams She basically gripped his arm and then told him to try breaking her grip. It was a classic bullying attempt to assert her physical dominance. I just firmly told her that this isn't how we treat each other, gently released her grip and took my son into another room. She went off in a sulk as always, but she has never done anything like that since then thankfully.
@@chawk6201 She isn't a bad person, but I'd say she is a very emotionally damaged person due to her own childhood (she didn't have one, basically), and unfortunately it can make her quite toxic to be around for long periods of time. She does love the kids though and most of the time her worst crime is she just sticks them on the iPad so she can rearrange our kitchen to her liking when she's meant to be doing fun activities with them.
I'm 25 years old and I still have frequent nightmares about my dad's abuse. And as far as abuse goes, it was relatively tame. Chasing me around the neighborhood at night, screaming at me then refusing to even look at me for the next few days, sending me to my room for nine hours at the drop of a hat... stuff like that. He "only" hit me once. And yes, I realize how much I'm minimizing, but my point is that PragerU is advocating for some seriously malicious shit that would leave kids way more scarred than I am. This is how generational trauma starts.
That isnt tame at all honestly. Even the relatively mild stuff my parents did when I was a kid hurt a lot and definitely effected how I am now. And when you really look at it, they arent even bad people. But the stuff they did still had regocnizeable effects on me. How your dad acted is 10 times worse than what my parents did. And the comparison doesnt matter. They still hurt you and thats what matters. That is why people should be extra carefull raising children.
The part about how your child will remember you locking them in their room when they're 70 but they'll also remember that they never hit their mom again really resonated with me, because I can counter that with an example from my own childhood. My parents used corporal punishment, sometimes quite a lot, and once upon a time for some offence, my dad did something that went far beyond a spanking that I'd rather not say but is well outside of what would be considered normal discipline even at that time. You see, I doubt my dad remembers doing that, because it was just something he did, and although I do remember the punishment, I have absolutely no memory of what I was being punished for, or if I ever did it again. It's just in my memory as trauma. I'd like to add to this that I don't hate my parents, I perhaps don't have as close a relationship with them as other people have with their parents, but in time they've had the chance to reflect on mistakes they made as parents and make effective apology, and I've learned to forgive them for those mistakes, and as I've got older I've felt they have supported me when I've needed it and that they do love me even if I didn't feel it during my childhood. I'm more recounting this story to counter the notion that abuse and the trauma it inflicts reinforces not doing unwanted behaviour. I now work in an alternative school tutoring and leading science classes. One of the things that motivates me is that I aim to be the adult I needed in my life when I was the children's age. Sorry to trauma dump, this video very much resonated with me.
"Never give a child an explanation" And in doing so you will train the child to never be curious about the world and deprive them of the necessary tools to make informed decisions about things you haven't taught them. Seriously, this is the one of the most important things you could do for a child and he's telling you don't because the kid might argue with you. If they're arguing, then that means the child is trying to understand the logic behind the explanation. This guy has no understanding that a child is still a person, and they need to be treated like people
Being a kid that was raised with parents that did that sometimes (not because my parents were evil, just ignorant), i can honestly say that that doesn't work unless you already made the kid a drone in the first place. Most kids i talk to do things i want them to do or other people couldn't make them do when i explain why in a coherent manner, because i remember as a kid being so frustrated that i had to do stuff and couldn't question why, and if my parents did explain and i said it doesn't make sense they'd scold me and say i'm disobedient or something. Even if you need them to do something but they can't understand why or you can't give a good explanation just give them a good reason to. People have to remember that kids are still people and not robots.
The only reason to deprive children of an explanation is because you don't want them to know things. This makes sense if you look at this parenting style in the context of authoritarian traditionalism. They want uncurious, uninformed kids who won't ask questions and will perpetuate the same style of parenting. Many of the parents don't even have the answers because their parents didn't explain, either. It's the best way to retain a base to vote against their best interests. They support policy that actively hurts them because that's how their Daddies voted, go to Church where Daddy went to Church, watch the same news, etc. No one ever questions the status quo, and they see it as dangerous to do so, the behavior of those people they've been taught not to trust because they want to destroy God and America.
@YourRationalWorldisaCircleJerk Well said. My dad sometimes feels bad if he gives something to my sister that he doesn't give to me. I'm like, "Dad, I'm 40 years old and have my own job. You don't owe me a darn thing. I'm the one that owes you! You and mom gave me more than anyone else ever did!" But I know not everyone has good parents unfortunately. I can tell that mine cared deeply about me, to correct me when I was bad and encourage me when I was good. What more can a parent do?
@YourRationalWorldisaCircleJerk there's a difference between respect and mindless obedience. Kids aren't mutual fund investments. It is possible to love and be grateful to your family while also being your own person.
@YourRationalWorldisaCircleJerk yeah no one is saying young children should ignore their parents entirely and do what they like. I don't know why you assumed everyone here was a kid.
@YourRationalWorldisaCircleJerk I am not interested in debating a tangential topic rn, sorry. If you want to talk a bit more about your initial comment, sure I'll participate
@YourRationalWorldisaCircleJerk yikes. I don't agree at all. Of course, it is normal for a parent to want grandkids, but whether or not I have kids is my decision. A child is an investment without guarenteed returns. The only healthy reason to have kids, imo, is that you want to experience the joy of raising them. If you're doing it expecting to control their futures, you're setting yourself up for disappointment and the kids up for abuse. Also come on, that's an appeal to nature, a pretty bad logical fallacy. In nature, a large number of animals actually die without passing on their genes. One could well argue that that is as 'natural' as having offspring. And I'd like to be part of a family/nation that doesn't make such harsh demands of me
if you can't win an argument against a kid 30 years younger than you by calmly explaining yourself, you've got much bigger problems than being a bad parent
@@andrewt2393 You shouldn't -fight- with your child, but a calm argument that doesn't escalate, where you and your child are in disagreement over something, is something you have to do if you want to have a healthy relationship with the child. You aren't always going to see eye to eye, and that's fine. You need to teach your child, by example, how to get through such a situation, in a civilized manner.
There are children who can be extremely argumentative at age nine. Its a rare occurrence, but you cant expect to win the argument without wasting a lot of time and mental resources in the process. Other concepts may be more important, such as "we will miss this appointment/errand/opportunity if we sit here arguing", or "respect others, including the right for your parent to get some rest", or "the world does not revolve around you, there is such a thing as being too argumentative and people will not like you or care to answer you if you insist too much or if you cannot distinguish between trivial matters and important ones that are worth discussing"
@@TheNasaDude I agree, absolutely. Kids should be taught not to be nitpicky or to use rhetorical skills just to get what they want. But those are still examples where you explain why the child shouldn't be doing what they're doing. It's not just "because i said so". In the end, I think a lot of it boils down to trust. A child has to trust you in the first place, for them to listen when you give them a statement like "the world doesn't revolve around you". If they do trust you and look up to you, you don't even have to "win" the argument in the traditional sense
Anyone who advocates with this style of parenting needs to ask themselves: if my boss at work hit me, yelled at me, or locked me in a room for a month when I made a mistake, would that be okay? No? Well then why is it okay to do any of that to a child? The real reason parents do these kind of abusive tactics is because its easy. Children are smaller, weaker, and more naive/trusting than adults, and thus way easier to batter and frighten them into submission. And with how stressful and thankless parenthood can be, it can be so tempting to smack your child across the face when they refuse to eat their vegetables or pick up their toys.
No, see, children don't have human rights, and deserve nothing. Adults simply tolerate children, as they are gods compared to children, and children must treat them as such.
Y’all for real don’t think there’s grown adults who followed their parents commands and rules growing up who aren’t perfectly happy healthy adults? Anytime someone suggests children should have firm structure and shouldn’t be allowed to lead their own lives as soon as they can walk everyone goes to the worst extreme they can think of never understanding there’s billions of families who structure their family in this exact way and are happy and successful
I'm more of the idea that "Obedient children are happy children", because if a child, upon being asked, answered that they are not happy, it would prove that they are disobeying the command to lie and claim that they are happy even if they are not.
@@yourbizarrekai No this is a sad bitter person who has done no work in healing or growing themselves therefore becoming EXACTLY who abused THEM which wad a traumatized bitter resentful human who didn’t have the tools to do any betterand also probably blamed others for their lack of growth. Kind of like the woke left extremists and the extreme insane right wingers. Both parties are the same people thinking they did something “different” than their parents when the results are blatantly obviously so similar in outcome. Lots of traumatized people still in lots of pain trying to “save others” when their pain is raw doing a whole lots of pretending they don’t hate others with different opinions or different life experiences while screaming “peace” through clenched teeth. How is this not EXACTLY the extreme right wing and their “take” on the love of Jesus. This is all about control of others for both parties. Fear based people need certainty to feel safe. Life is messy, kids gets hurt, people die, marriages fail, pain happened yet our culture thinks that the “fix” is with the other people, when if people understood human behavior, the brain, and trauma they would see this is an inside job and the solutions they are fighting so hatefully for, would occur as a natural state of health of the individuals. I will never conform to this sick snd dis-eased society. Nor will I gaslight myself for somebody else’s “feelings or need for validation” when WE all have trauma and all need certain people to validate us but demanding strangers to do so is as narcissistic as this man.
"She will also remember that she never hit her mother again," yeah, and also planned her mother's nursing home once she realized how messed up her mom is.
conservatism as a whole is defined by that style of rhetoric. They have no other choice, because whenever their ideology is pitted against actual facts, the facts win every time.
"When's the last time you heard a kid be called obedient? Probably has been a while." Probably because obedient is an adjective for behaving animals, not human children.
@Polite Comments On Current Affairs and some bs like “obedient children are happy children” isn’t some me-me-me attitude from controlling parents? Aside from how dystopian and nonsensical it sounds, shouldn’t it be the other way around where a child that is happy is therefore more likely to listen out of respect?
@Polite Comments On Current Affairs If you don't Adress anything in this comment it will simply prove what I've said about you and your beliefs Have you looked at the internet lately? Literally almost everyone in our new generation makes fun of people who use the term 'Special Snowflakes' Like That word usage makes you sound like some stubborn, old person who thinks the new generations are going to be the downfall of society. I mean, I've met good grandparents, elderly, but with what shit the newer generations have had to deal with due to the mistakes of past generations of authority it's hardly surprising that the majority of them want to *not* be carbon copies of past generations By that logic it would just lead to more uprisings, war, and messed up generations repeating mistakes in a monotonous cycle until civilization inevitably collapses from the lack of sustainability. I've seen you everywhere in the comments and what I've gained is that you believe negative reinforcement cultivates good children Tell me though, have you actually read into the psychological science behind those supposedly 'good results'? Because, through actual logic and not an ever-consuming urge to feel dominant over children and future generations, it has been proven over and over that positive reinforcement and natural (*Emphasis on 'natural'*) consequences cultivate the best results in children that lead them to actually becoming stable adults. Perhaps actually do some reaserch about it, because your obviously missing out on some very interesting knowledge.
@@compositeembryo7186 Yeah he succeeded... being an idiot that's hated by a lot of people on the internet (and probably a lot more in real life). SUCCESS 100!!!
What pissed me off as a kid was my dad saying "Because I said so" or " I'm the adult you listen to me" I hated this because he would never explain well what he wanted you to do and when you did it wrong he would explode. I just wanted him to say " Oh because mom is coming home soon and I want the house to look nice for her" Or " I need some help cleaning so could you go pick up your room." But I would hate it when he basically said because I told you to.
Yeah. I’m neurodivergent, most of my family is- and it’s much easier to do things with a goal in mind. I need to clean the porch, because my grandparents are staying over. I need to play outside because stuffy air isn’t healthy. I need to take care of the animals because if I don’t, they’ll be sad and the tanks will stink. It’s so much easier to accomplish when there’s a reason.
@@webduelist Yeah, but that doesn't mean parents ought to be forcibly putting their kids' hands on hot stoves to teach them that lesson. That's the difference.
i was an absolutely miserable child, the most obedient child ever. literally never did anything out of line, so i'd get yelled at for things like leaving a spoon in the sink instead. and now i have depression, anxiety, etc
All the editing was done by Neil Farrell (of Neil Farrell Entertainments, aka "The Liberal Cook" th-cam.com/channels/358urzyldvD78E9o2sR-Og.html ), and their content is absolutely amazing!
If you like the editing style of this video (and the content - their work comes from a similar perspective to mine!), be sure to check out their channel!
I love all the graphic design and animated text ect ... But to be honest it should be spice not the main course .. I subscribed to a smart lady talking sense to a camera ... This isn't that .. it's still good, I'm not unsubscribing or anything but it seems that me like all that graphics takes at least as much work as being on camera .. so just trying to save you some effort.
:)
What a collab. This is absolute art
Nice video. The parenting styles are pretty cut dry, essentially it is the classification of how the parents treat their child in their upbringing. But the methods and style that this Bozo would be using is beyond authoritative, he is saying to rule in fear like a dictator and that their subjects(children) should be happy and never question them. If there is one thing that official historians and psychologists could agree on it is that this is a recipe for trouble that only completes short term goals, at some point it all crumbles down.
I’ve watched a few of your videos and enjoyed them very much. The one on food was great and I just watched the one on conspiracy theories, which is also really good (if not so easy to put into practice). Yes, I agree that this guy gives extremely bad advice on parenting, IMO. I just wish you hadn’t thrown in the comment about his qualifications. If the state where he works allows him to call himself a psychologist, then (in that state and according to their standards) he *is* a psychologist.
This is an issue which occurs in many professions. For instance, you can train as a medical doctor in one country but your qualifications may not meet the standard in another, so you’ll need further training to work there. You had plenty of dirt on him without bringing up a non issue but still, great video and I, who raised a child to adulthood, doing the exact opposite of what he recommends, 100% agree with your other arguments.
The editing was good except for the inadequate number of cats
I was ready to comment "Maybe obedient children are less likely to say they're unhappy in a study", but there wasn't even a study
I had a similar moment, but my thought was that kids who are happy aren't likely to have a pattern of disobedience.
source: trust me bro
@@legendhun9342source: it was once revealed to me in a dream
@@deterytorializacja8522 god told me
@@muttipi the lord awakened in me and showed me signs
The signs: I ate an orange yesterday and he whispered in my ear to beat my kids and my wife
'At 70 your child will remember being locked in a room for a month.' Yes, she will certainly remember that when selecting the nursing home to lock you into
yass
Yes
"It's a retirement community!"
@@kas7423 haha, nice Sopranos reference
Revenge shall come
John Rosemond really said
"Directed by: me
Produced by: me
Written by: me
And staring: me"
“Source(s): me”
Детерминизм это Свобода 🤙
Why is this kinda iconic tho
It would be funnier if he wasn't doing it unironically.
When you get assined a group proyect and no one exept you does the work:
They don't want children; they want glorified pets. They don't care about the child getting trauma or depression so long as the child doesn't show any symptoms.
"Obedient children are happy children" is nothing more than them trying to coincide the belief that they are good people with what they are doing when deep down they know that they are the bad guys.
So it would be more accurate as "Obedient children make happy parents" ?
@@dudono1744more like obedient children make parents look superior to their "friends" which makes them happy
@@sillijk well yes, that's probably the main reason
No, I don't think that's the case. Many of their arguments about how to deal with the poor are almost identical to how they say to deal with children.
What they want is to enforce hierarchy. In their eyes it's important to install a sense of hierarchy between parent and child cause when that child grows up they will have the same obedience towards their boss.
I think others have noticed this but when he refers to the child, he calls them by it, as if they’re property.
Citations:
1. *it is known*
2. *it is known*
3. *it is known*
4. *this was once revealed to me in a dream*
😂
Here's my problem: unless you're on the absolute cutting-edge forefront of a particular field, you shouldn't cite yourself - that goes double for this guy since he explicitly states he doesn't do original studies/research. If PragerU had even the slightest amount of academic integrity, that would be a dealbreaker...since it isn't, one can only come to a single conclusion.
@@khill8645
"If PragerU had even the slightest amount of academic integrity . . . "
That's the problem right there. They have absolutely none.
@@khill8645 If PragerU had even the slightest amount of academic integrity, it wouldn't be able to do its job.
@@khill8645 If they had academic integrity, they wouldn’t exist.
My parents never explained why something I did was wrong because "I'm the parent and what I say goes!" This was frustrating.
right? thank you, i knew i wasn't the only one who thought my parents are a pair of borderline insane people
When I was younger my mom would punish me without explaining what I did wrong. My youngest years with memory were the years that I needed the most explanations (for me at least.) My moms parenting is a lot better now thankfully.
Honestly I'm getting triggered and getting reminding of my dad rn THANKS PRAGERU
If you can't explain the reason why you want someone to do something, it generally means that you don't have a good reason.
I knew I hated that idea of "because I said so" at like 5 because it seemed too lazy, if it is really that important that I should listen to them then they should be able to explain to me exactly why or else they don't understand.
"obedient children are happy children"
"there is no war in ba sing se"
"nothing happened in 1984"
‘I love big brother’
@@bigpapamagoo8696 wait hold up
@@The_Blue_Ender you probably mean ‘89 right
@@duckonaroll1913 look up the book 1984.
If the kid can successfully argue that the reason for a rule is flawed, there’s a problem with the rule.
And if they are unsuccessful, then the parent should be able to explain the issue with the kid's stance.
99% of rules are flawed in the real world. It doesn't take a tremendous level of intelligence to find said flaws and argue against them. The question is, should a 35 year old take crap from an 8 year old, and the answer is no.
@@111olbapMaybe the 35 years old should wise up and explain stuff instead of just ordering kids around.
There are bratty kids, but if didn't bother to explain Why ypu ask Something of them, thats a problem that started with you, not them.
Alternatively, Don't have kids, so you dont have any problems with them.
Simple
@@111olbapYeah but again. If an 8 year old can pick it apart so much that a 35 yr old is unable to justify it...
@@111olbap sounds like you lost an argument with an 8 year old
"There's a lot of really bad parenting advice."
Oh god, he's so nearly self-aware.
self aware wolf
Actually, it's amazing how many times a day can conservative people approach the point without actually getting it. It's pretty much their lifestyle, and it's not hard to understand why: They don't care about anything except what they already want to do; "science", "reasoning", "moral decency" and "human rights" are just useful labels to support that preconceived end while they preach the opposite of what those labels refer to at the same time.
the irony
That's him implicitly giving the viewer the opportunity to discount and ignore anything that they choose to disagree with. It's propaganda, it has nothing to do with awareness.
@@materialknight I don't think it's really fair to say that all conservative people are like this, as I've seen this on both sides.
“Don’t treat the child like a human, that would teach them that they’re a human”
i know, how stupid right? (joke)
“Don’t let them have free will. That is bad. And makes you a bad parent.”
dont feed your child, this will condition them to think everything is free
Holy fucking shit!! How sinful!!!!
“Don’t take care of your child, this will make them take you for granted.”
Obedient children aren’t happy children, happily children just tend to obey their parents more out of RESPECT, not fear
I can confirm
So basically he's got it backwards
Happy children are obedient children
Usually unless you are some idiot, there is nothing why you shroud respect your parents as they are not better than you are.
they are just another pair of unfortunate people trying to survive in this horrible world.
I dont understand parents who dont look at themselves and say: "What have I done to make my own child fear me, not love me?"
@@pabloca3 exactly. if a kid messes something up they should be thinking "i need to talk to my dad," not "my dad's gonna kill me."
When my brother was young, like toddler ages, my mom took him for his doctor visit, and yes he is autistic (Asperger's, but they no long classify it), and my mom asked how to help him through breakdowns, the doctor literally said "lock him in his room until he stops". Needless to say my mom cussed him out, left, got a new doctor, and did not do that to him of course. This was in the early 2000s. I'm glad we treat people who are on the spectrum and who are neurodivergent like actual people now. It's wonderful
My parents still do that shit to my sister, they also physically restrain her while she's having her meltdowns
@@N_IRLhave you tried second or first degree manslaughter? on the parents, to be clear. include pain
Thank GOODNESS your mom cussed him out
The place where you live must have made some good advancements towards people who are not perfect, obedient angels.
@@N_IRL similar situation here, although they are more careful about it and dont go far enough to cause physical harm, we already tried cps but they cant help without physical markings
I just realized how funny it is that this guy is afraid of a child being able to dismantle his arguments, mainly because they actually could.
He's a "phycologist" dumber than a kid
Also, if it’s a good, valid argument, they can’t pick it apart. So he just also admitted that he doesn’t know how to make a good argument.
Exactly, he probably knows that his argumentative skills are low and his cause is wrong
@@moonbox0929 he’s a conservative, they genuinely think you can argue anything even if you have no point to argue. Like they’ll just say anything, especially pragerU
How many kids do you have?
"Obedient slaves are happy slaves!"
"Obedient wives are happy wives!"
Dear lord...
Obedient citizens are happy citizens.
@@ezbody Considering that PragerU is Republican law/government asskissing propaganda it wouldn't surprise me if that's something they would unironically say.
They really are at all times only arms length away from advocating spousal abuse. Dennis "The Good Ol Days" Prager is probably developing that video right now.
Oh GOD no...
The fact that he calls children “It” says all that he needs to say.
He is a bad guy, but if you referring to an unspecified child you would call it "it" or "they". Which is kinda what he does. Otherwise, he is a very bad parenting advisor.
If he doesn't know the gender than I don't see a problem with that.
@@carl8760 You would use "they", not "it"
@@neyoid No, you can use either lmao.
@@edwardsheeran9220 Sure, you can. But you could also NOT be that much of a creep. Bar on the ground here, we're just asking the guy to drop the shovel and stop digging
This guys method just boils down to "children dont deserve rights"
@Waltbruh 2+2=5
@@shonklebonkle324 3+3= 3
The entire world doesn't treat people under 18 like humans, this guy just puts the degeneracy into words
That _is_ the conservative position. Children are property, not people.
1 + 1 = 11
"Obedient children are happy children" is a twisted take on something that is almost certainly true: "children will feel happy and safe when they can look to their parents as confident trusted leaders". Any parent who is not by nature a confident leader but who tries to implement PraferU's advice will come across as insecure and abusive.
Even beyond the unsubstantiated correlation, there's a question of causality here: does obedience actually make children happy, or are happy children just more likely to cooperate with the needs and desires of their family?
It's like that old saying, "correlation is not equal to causation"
A rooster crows because the sun rises. The sun does not rise because the rooster crows.
somewhat more realistic is "a happy child is more likely to be obedient"
But children develop executive function very slowly and it is cruel to make them responsible for understanding all the reasons behind rules that are made for their wellbeing. A responsible caregiver should have the authority to offer the child simple choices with clear consequences while they develop those executive functioning skills.
This has some real "My dad beat me with a belt every time his toast came out wrong, and I turned out just fine!" energy.
Surprising lack of this in the comments section. Not entirely free, but far more sensible people in the "hitting an adult is assault, but hitting a child is not? That's madness!" camp than I would expect.
Oh God, I have a cousin like that, not the toast part but the getting beaten up pretty badly part and they say "it was necessary" when in fact you mustn't go overboard with punishment. That's abuse.
@@siiroblank2854 punishment as a whole I think is overused. Not saying all punishment is bad, but rewarding behavior and positive reinforcement is much more effective.
@@moosesandmeese969 Eh, not necessarily, I believe it should be according to the children's behavior and personality/mental health.
Pretty much case by case to avoid encouraging and justifying horrible behavior in certain children or not to shove ADHD children more and more into vicious circle of being punished for behavior they cannot control and searching for attention because they are ostracized for being themselves, until they become isolated and bitter or spoiled douchebag.
@@moosesandmeese969 I agree, however I believe it is also important to teach children that bad behavior results in consequences (spanking okay not down right abuse) otherwise they'll understand too late what happens when you start acting up
I love how using himself as a source is basically his parenting model.
"How do you know that not explaining things is better parenting?"
"Because I said so."
it's the same as "Why do you think this will work?" "Trust me Bro"
"I have a book"-Ken Ham
It’s like poetry
source: bro just trust me bro
*sudden realization that I've been raised wrong my entire life*
I might actually put the phrase “obedient children are happy children” into my dystopian novel I’ve been working on
That's exactly what I was thinking, that line sounded straight out of 1984
I need a copy of it
Do it, I love it.
Even better of it's a constant phrase in the background kinda gives brainwashing vibes
I mean knock yourself out and hope your novel sells well, but Rosemond is definitely right here. Everyone in the comments section here seems to be conflating "children" with "adults" and "governments" with "families". Anyone who has ever raised a two year-old knows that a family pretty much has to be a totalitarian mini-government, with the mom and dad as the dictators. It definitely can't be a democracy every time the two year-old wants candy, screams at the toy store for not getting his way, or begs for 3 more hours of screen time. The very key to the opposite of a dystopian society is a free one in which the citizens possess the ability to self-govern, and the science is pretty clear that the ability to self-govern is heavily tied to whether the citizens are raised in two-parent households where rules and discipline are the norm.
"At 70 your child will remember being locked in a room for a month."
This also answers why some children go no-contact with their families after reaching adulthood.
I did do exactly that. I never got a reason for anything my parents said, if my dad and i got into a argument, he LITERALLY COMPARED HIMSELF TO A FUCKING GORILLA. And on several occasons, he tried to physically assault me. So everytime i think about maybe contacting them again, i quickly remember the mentally scarring shit they would do to me. I didnt even say the horrible shit my step mother would do to me. I dont regret for a second when i decided to go no contact.
@@wooliewurl3471 I’m sorry your parents did that to you. Nobody deserves that. Glad you were able to break contact with them at least.
@@caseys2698 nah its fine, ive had to deal with it most my life so i got used to it
@@wooliewurl3471 I relate to your story a lot, and yeah, I'm also at a point where I'm just used to it and don't care so much anymore
Came to say exactly this. If u can't treat me like an actual human being u have no business being a part of my life
I love the way he calls children an “it” when describing how you shouldn’t go down to a kid’s level. His complete lack of empathy is on display.
I had to listen to that three times to make sure I didn’t mishear. “It.” What the actual fuck?!
Dehumanization at its finest. "Children and women aren't people! Only adult men that agree with me are people! And even then they're on thin ice for not being me!"
Either that or they're trying to stick it to the left so hard by refusing to use singular "they" as a pronoun. Or both!
Детерминизм это Свобода 🤙 🤙
well some kids do identify as an it, right? its a valid gender expression? not being facetuous here
@@Inannawhimsey As someone whose pronouns are it/its unironically irl (I like the idea of someone being unable to figure out what I am; "Lyra" isn't my real name lmfao), there's a world of difference between someone respecting your pronouns and someone literally dehumanizing you. This is an obvious case of the latter imho
"Obedient children are happy children" is about two words away from being the motto of a dystopian government
Obedient citizens are happy citizens! Wait why are you rising up no-
They're basically the micro version of Soviet Communism. Which is hilariously ironic.
I don’t see how it’s fundamentally wrong to want your children to follow the rules you set and not disobey? From the parents perspective their rules are right. I would figure you would want your children to follow your rules.
@@oj59 how is that relevant to "obedient children are happy children" ? Besides that, "commanding" them teaches them to obey authority blindly and not think for themselves. Great for governments and predators, not for individuals.
“Obedient people are happy people”
-1984 or something
-Don't love your children
-Don't explain how the world works
-Don't see them as people with independent ideas but as an extension of your own
-assert dominance
Ahh yes this will totally turn into an adult who is capable and will not lead to them running away from their parents.
Or an adult that is a total people pleaser that can’t trust themselves and their feelings.
- Don’t always *display* unconditional love
- Don’t always *explain* why one must respect proper authority
- Don’t treat children like adults (because they aren’t)
If you actually listen to what the man says, the person this child grows up to be sounds like a functioning member of society.
@@Theonlyomahermit Nobody should respect authority, also I hope you never have children.
@@Theonlyomahermit you know, bait used to be believable...
@@Theonlyomahermit c'mon, you're not even trying. Keep boosting that engagement though!
Only people at pregurU would be worried about looking alpha in front of a 7 year old child
Especially since the term "alpha" in regards to the wolves used to come up with the term, literally would mean "scared, confused individual who doesn't belong there at all, who is left alone because it's the biggest and scariest." Because, fun fact, that term comes from throwing a bunch of wolves from their original family packs, into a single enclosure and seeing what happens. It's literally just short of having dogs fight, and assuming the one that wins is the leader afterwards.
@@theendersmirk5851 that social hierarchy thing among wolves was proven wrong iirc
@@Psychosomatic63 Yeah, my post was explaining the specific error of that theory. Didn't know when it got disproven, but I was well aware it had been.
@@theendersmirk5851 disproven by the original researcher at that.
The true heart of the matter.
“I’d like to know if my 40 year old daughter remembers that time I confined her to her room for a month. Can’t say for sure, as she hasn’t spoken to me in over 20 years.”
"...She will also remember that she never hit her mom again."
She also never saw her mom again, but that's not the important part.
The Prageru video said nothing about locking, or confining, children to their rooms. Zoe Bee just made that up for a thumbnail and to make you angry and clicking.
@@MrHoggReads ok for the sake of discussion, lets say they did. That doesnt excuse his lack of credibility and his history of bad ideas about parenting.
@@brynail4794 I'm not asking you to accept the Prageru video as true or good, I'm saying that Zoe Bee is being dishonest.
@@MrHoggReads it wasnt mentioned in the video she mentioned, but the person Bee is examining did give that advice. As clickbaity as it is, its not necessarily lying. Timestamp: 11:48
Not explaining things to children is a recipe for disaster, you basically keeping your children in check with fear. And the moment they aren't afraid of you then they will be completely out of your control. If you child actually likes you, you don't need to shout orders at them.
That is pretty much what religion does 🤷♀️
You should explain things when it is warranted. Sometimes they should just do it. When you go to work you shouldn't question your boss. Or you get fired.
@@icecreamhero2375 huh, first of all I can’t see a reason to not explain to children why they do things all the time, how else will they know to keep doing that when you aren’t around “because I said so” and “you’ll understand when you’re older” aren’t really going to stick with them effectively, also the relationship someone has with their child isn’t comparable to relationship with your employer (not to mention the fact a lot employers explain why they want something done without without you even asking)
@@jerm-gv9rv Kid: Why do we wear clothes. Me to keep us warm Kid: Why do I have to take out the trash. You have two arms that aren't broken Me: I said so do it.
@@jerm-gv9rv The only time you should use the older excuse is sex.
This stuff sounds *EXACTLY* how I was raised.
No, I was not happy. *I was terrified, and feared for my life every day for years.* I still have PTSD today 45+ years later.
Well, I hope you get better soon.😊
At least he is consistent. His point is basically: the only justification your kid deserves is “because I said so”.
And his evidence is “because I said so.”
This needs to be pinned!
@@Anonymous-df8it YES
@@idontknoq4813 Exactly!
@@Anonymous-df8it I wouldn't disagree if they did.
My parents be like:
He got it backwards. It's not "obedient children are happy children" its "happy children who have all their needs met are more likely to be obedient," Everyone, please take care of your children.
so if my child wants to have all the candy in the world i should give it to them because i want to appease my child???
@@youkaliciousx299 its okay to say no to your child but its not okay to be abusive to them. a child can handle a no but a child cannot handle unreasonable punishment and extreme control
@@youkaliciousx299 tell them no and explain why. Children are people also, treat them as such.
@@youkaliciousx299 wants are not needs as long as you talk reasonably with your child as to why they don’t need that much candy an understanding will be formed children are not idiots.
@@youkaliciousx299 That's very obviously not what I was saying, a strawman argument if I ever heard one. But to answer your question: no you shouldn't, you can still have children that are happy even if you set reasonable limits.
If a kid can “pick apart your argument” then it probably wasn’t a good argument, and maybe you should reevaluate it. If my kid can give me a good reason as to why a rule doesn’t work/ is unfair I plan on listening. That’s fair.
Not really. I can pick apart any argument if I used different methods of arguing.
@@cookiemons9097 I can pick apart any argument if I use strawmen and never cite reputable sources. 😃
@@cookiemons9097 you can make a argument just by saying “why”
@@Waffle-dog exactly, thats what i've been saying. And people are like, "A kid would never say that" THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT A KID WOULD SAY, lol.
@@ryanhernandez8324 you just strawmanned me, dumbass
My mother raised me as the exact opposite of this advice. She ALWAYS gave me a why. When I would argue, she'd reason with me until I either gave up or accepted it. Sure, maybe in the early stages of life I was a rowdy toddler because I don't want to do what she's making me do, but as life went on, it got easier and easier to see that 95% of the time, she was right. The thing is, asking "Why" also occasionally led her to realize she made a mistake. That was also an important lesson; Mom can be wrong. She isn't always wrong, but she CAN be. As I grew up, I applied the same line of thinking to other authority figures. I will do what you ask if you can give me a satisfactory "why". That obviously led to perceived authority issues, though I never have had a true "rebellious phase". My mother isn't perfect, but I'm pretty lucky that I was raised by who I was raised by. I always want a "why", which deeply influenced my political standings, those I was friends with, and my general outlook on life. So parents, always tell people why.
w mom
w opinion
w pfp
lucky. my dad HATES it when i ask why when he wants me to do something that’s small and insignificant
example: one time i had my shoes downstairs because i wanted them to be cleaner and taking shoes off infront or near the door is respectful. i tried doing that for about two weeks but then I got told to take them upstairs and said why.
“just go put them upstairs!”
“but why? i like them down here”
“😠😡…they dont belong down here”
yes, when i argue back he starts doing this dumbass staring thing like i just said “im pregnant”
“you never had a problem with them before”
“😠😠😠😡😡😡😡….i have a problem with them now!”
and ofc since he’s the dad i eventually had to do it
then the next day he came to me and said
“😠😡😡😡😡next time i tell you to do something you DO IT! im not arguing with you” which basically translates to “dont question me. do as i say no matter fucking what”
yeah i dont like my dad
also to keep this short, for context, i recently started getting the courage to argue back with him whenever he did or said something that bothered me. obviously this was seen as a “challenge to his authority” otherwise he wouldnt resort to yelling and then telling me not to yell (which i literally never did/do when talking to him)
if you want me to explain how THAT happened i will in another comment. this is long enough. can you tell im starting to not like my dad?
It might also have made you into a better debater, so yeah, nice mom
Based
"John does not test, diagnose, or recommend medication"
BECAUSE HE LEGALLY CAN'T!
OMG I thought he was just anti- medication for ADHD and related issues.
She said that exactly as I read this comment
He probably wouldn’t recommend that stuff anyways
good
Most Psychologists can't either. Diagnosing medication is generally only allowed for psychiatrists, which is a small subset of the larger field of psychology
I remember watching Dr. Phil years ago and he said go into your kids room while they're at school, listen to their CDs and if you don't approve of any of them, put them in the microwave to ruin them! That'll show them! I remember his whole thing was "your only job is to get them through until they're 18, not be their friend" like yeah okay -you definitely won't have a relationship with them after they get away from you then
I can imagine majority of the kids he sent to abusive messed up camps ended up not talking to their parents and ended up with extreme mental issues
@@Doofinon Of course. By the time they came back from the ranch? They were supposed to be 18 and want nothing to do with them. And if the program didn’t work? Not his problem, now they’re adults.
Not the main topic obv but Nobody should put CDs in the microwave at ALL you can burn the fucking house down
Approve of music? That's silly music is art.
Yeah, Dr Phil is actually the worst person to go to for parenting advice. His whole show is about humiliating children who are already dealing with a lot
"My child is argumentative" is just a translation of "I won't deal with a full human being, I prefer a talking pet". I am happy that my kid is "argumentative" even though it obviously requires more work.
or a puppet, but yeah
If you dont like to discuss with your children, when they grow up they'll resent you for being irrational and not listening to them
@@suezuccati304 My mother spied through my device, found the non legal shotacon anime/art, she got angry, upset and never discussed it with me; i resent her a lot about just that particular situation, it's not like the cartoons are going to make me turn into the same people that violated her within her childhood.
I can't even talk to my mom without her calling me argumentative! It's almost as if she always wants me to agree with her and blindly obey her.
@@failedsocialexperiment2382 wtf
loli shit?
"you can always pick apart an explanation" if you're the type of person to be losing in an argument with a literal child then maybe you shouldn't be a parent in the first place
My father be like:
I work in childcare. I can tell you true, the reason kids aren't being described as "obedient" is because that's no longer the desired trait. You don't want kids doing the right thing because they're told or because they get punished. You want them to do the right thing because its the right thing to do. If they ask "Why do I need to do that?" The answer is not "Because you need to obey me" You tell them WHY said instruction matters, so they learn. The trait that has replaced "obedience" is helpfulness. You want kids who *want* to listen and who respect you.
"My child is a meat drone" is basically what it says.
Bingo. You want your kids to *think* about their assigned tasks - to function as part of an integrated team - rather than focus solely on avoiding punishment.
Besides, "Because I said so." Tends to make some kids think that adults are unreasonable, and gets them to rebel. (First hand case. My sister was like this.)
That's part of it but I think it's bigger than that.
It's also related to the atomization of society. In the past you had strong friend groups for adults, church, unions and so on. There was a lot more society in a child's life that they could just go along with. Today the only two guides a child has are their teacher and their parents.
Also online fraud is rampant, temptations are everywhere and having a good stable job is mostly a thing of the past. So obedience just isn't really a useful trait anymore in today's society.
Obedience is only a useful trait if you are surrounded by people you can trust.
The kicker is that I would not listen to my mother if I didn't think the reason was good, but because she took the time to explain the reason, the few times she forbade me to do something without providing a reason I just implicitly trusted her judgement and didn't do it.
“A punishment must establish a permanent memory”
Trauma, you basically want your child to have trauma.
An effective teacher…unfortunately, one with horrible baggage 🥺
If you don't give your kids PTSD you're basically abusing them, I'm calling CP RIGHT NOW!
Attention sarcasm! This view is a backasswards fresh steaming hot pile of bs
Yeah, all that because five year old Lia spilled some water on her shirt
No no no. They don't want their children to have to trauma. They want to GIVE THEIR CHILD TRAUMA.
The more painful the lesson, the longer you remember it. Parenting is a difficult and challenging task of preparing them for long term success in adulthood. That means remembering otherwise harmless mistakes that would be devastating to relearn in adulthood.
“Obedient children are happy children”
Ever consider the fact that a ‘obedient’ child is more than likely not allowed to say that they aren’t happy?
Of course, PragerU wants obedient children, who don't question the establishment or motive. After all, PragerU is funded by -a shifty oil conglomerate- well-meaning businessmen from the oil industry. They want obedient little work-drones and not free-thinking people, who could potentially threaten the status quo.
Typically obedient children just follow the rules but his definition of obedient children Is scary
Or dont even know what it is to be happy. They are just numb. Hi, source me, as having an emotionally neglected upbringing and being that 'well mannered obedient' child. Sometimes it was also due to fear, which is not the way to raise children
@@PoptartParasol I'm really sorry to hear. As somebody who had abusive parents (luckily I moved out at 18 and haven't spoken to them since) I hope things are better.
@@Sarawarawara- And when they see, other people dont follow the rules, things will get nasty.
“You can always pick apart an explanation,” or maybe conservatives just suck at arguing.
If there is a logical argument against their feelings that they claim to be scientific, there is just "the left brainwashing" or "betas" or "government coverups". These are all seperate groups using unproven and unprovable arguments, Prager U wants us to believe we are brainwashed, "alpha males" want us to believe that we are just "beta" cucks using fake science and conspiracy groups don't actually care about the science, anyone can be a spy for "the system" and proof against them is always fake.
@@MrTheBest2WasTakenThats not just a conservative trait lol. Thats just a trait of idiots.
You kinda just proved his point.
How?@@Theonlyomahermit
Conservatives and liberals can make both great/terrible arguments. This guy just makes terrible arguments I reckon.
“I’m smart, you’re dumb, I’m big, you’re small, I’m right, you’re wrong. And there’s nothing you can do about it” - Matilda’s Foster Dad, literally a character with the sole purpose of being a bad parent, still explains shit to his kids
*real dad
Matilda wasn't adopted by them, that was her biological family.
"I'm big, you're small" god like quote
pretty sure it was "little" but anyway yeah. good 2 know afterwards just how wholesome devito was off screen during that
he was right about the size part, matilda was a child disprovided of the bigness held by space jam actor michael jordan
@@ConsarnitTokkori She had a bigger brain
If I was a child molester, I don't think I could come up with a more disconcerting phrase to lull my victims into a false sense of security than "Obedient children are happy children."
yeah this holy shit
kids need to not obey any adult they meet unquestioningly because that's basically giving people who seek to do things that will harm them the key
Seriously. This guy needs to have his computer searched, like, *yesterday.*
This! Blind obedience is dangerous!
I was not expecting to read something beginning with that particular set of six words today
The first time I’ve heard a good argument start with “If I was a child molester”
"Obedient children are happy children." sounds like a quote coming from a dystopian sci-fi setting.
Obedient citizens are good citizens.
Reminds me of "good soldiers follow orders"
@@golgothavirus Execute Order 66!
As someone who reads too many dystopian books I agree
Omg true
My father was a firm adherent to the “because I said so” dynamic. It has shaped me in negative ways I can’t begin to overcome. Oh, yeah, I’m 67.
John called a child “it”, that kinda shows his view point already…
@Polite Comments On Current Affairs sure...
@Polite Comments On Current Affairs No old person has ever called me "it", he is the ONLY old person I've heard call a person "it", and they would NOT get away with calling me "it".
@Polite Comments On Current Affairs I have never, in my life, heard anyone call a person an it, I hear he, she, or they, not it
@UCfasIPV4pUqbUmRK9lQDxQg There's an entire book called "A Child Called It" that really really would like to present to you how full of shit you are.
@@tayk.t.523 bold of you to assume this man is merely old. I’d wager carbon dating his bones places him in the timeframe of being a feudal lord (it would certainly explain his stance on obedience).
Prager U's Sources
1. It is known
2. I made it up
3. It was once revealed to me in a dream
4. Just trust me bro
@@TheSorrel 6. God said it man, just trust me
7. it is common sense...... well I like to say it is common sense but what I actually mean by that is its an old dated view from the past that any sane person from current day doesn't see as common sense
8. Donald trump told me that I know it or be true so I know it to be true
9. My great-great confederate grandma
@Literally Musab 11-The fox news bathroom doesnt count as a study lab
This feels more like a "master-servent relationship with a pet" guide than an actual parenting guide.
its still abuse then, if someone locks a pupper in a room for a month thats straight up animal abuse,
Pets are worth so much more respect.
@@theeviloverlord7320Lastchanc never said that master-servant relationship with a pet guides weren't guides on doing abuse.
It's a very old way of viewing child/parent relationships, from a time when we didn't know as much about childhood development as we do now. Terms such as autism, ADHD, and learning disability didn't exist. The physically and mentally disabled weren't thought fully capable of comprehending the world. Mentally ill and mentally disabled children and adults were often beaten and drugged into submission by people who didn't know any better or who were simply cruel.
I would think the abusive ideologies this goon is promoting is inappropriate EVEN for a master-servant relationship with a pet. Let alone another vulnerable human being.
this man is not offering advice. he is offering justifications so that the parents abusing their kids (and husbands abusing their spouses) can assuage their guilt about it
guilt? Really? I'm unconvinced parents like mine ever felt bad for what they did, they just wanted to know the child was the problem, not them
Nailed it
Not just husbands..
"Obedient Children are Happy Children"
Sounds like something an evil dictator would say in a dystopian movie.
Obedient citizens are happy citizens
Dude sounds exactly like a totalitarian big brother from every stereotype media. So he's basically saying obedience equate to "happiness".
"Freedom is slavery"
Funny thing is that conservatives use George Orwell as their great truth about left.
They probably don't know that Orwell was a socialist Anti-Stalinist.
Ministry of truth in 1984 is basically Orwell describing his time in BBC.
@@danubeisreallypeculiarrive7944 OrWELl WAs rIghT WInG
-conservatives
his video should’ve been titled “how to make your children hate you in 18 years or less”
Kids should resent their parents a little.
@@MikeSW no. Why do you think that? No child should resent their parents, it may happen just because of how children may not like their children’s decisions, but even that isn’t resentment
@@iamacatperson7226 Because they ought to have some sense of independence
@@MikeSW resenting your parents and having independence have absolutely NOTHING to do with each other
@@iamacatperson7226 They absolutely do. It's an unavoidable consequence toward a kid forging their own path.
My mom would explain why I shouldn't do something, I said "okay" and didn't do it.
My dad spanked me and yelled at me to do things without telling me why. (I found out as an adult that my mom had no idea he was doing this, it was always while she was out with friends)
Guess which parent I still am in contact with as an adult and have healthy communication skills with?
Normalize cutting off abusive and/or toxic parents
The exact same thing happened to me💔
Your dad..?
@@muhhafizhaulia8068 almost, perhaps the mom
@@melon4738 no, im pretty sure its the dad
Another reason why corporal punishment is a terrible idea: when you get into the mindset of beating your children, what's stopping you from beating anyone else who disobeys you, say, your spouse?
I never thought of it that way, it won't only make the kids feel helpless, it'll make the parents helpless to their own learnt behaviour, even long after their kids leave (which they'll probably try to do as quick as possible)
Honestly, how do you even back up the idea that beating your spouse is wrong if you think it's alright to beat your kids? Because your spouse may be smaller and weaker than you? Because you'll traumatize them? Because it's a betrayal of someone you're supposed to love and protect? Because it's wrong to use physical violence outside of self-defense?
What part of this would be less true for small dependent developing children than for a fully grown adult? And how do you justify the one if you know the other is wrong?
Children do not have fully developed capacities of reason, and thus, in place of certain rational discussions, sensory pain can perfectly reasonably be employed (just as sensory pleasure can.)
Adults do have fully developed capacities of reason, and thus, in place of certain sensory actions, rational discussion can be employed.
In short, things are distinct from one another. Adults are not children, neither are children adults.
@@Theonlyomahermit
So what if an adult doesn't have full capacities of reason? If your partner is having a manic episode or your parents get Alzheimer's does it become reasonable for you to start beating them to make them comply? Will this cause them to trust you? Will this cause them to trust the world in general, to be able to feel any sense of safety and happiness?
I've found that children raised to not question their parents, tend to not question authority, just accepting that "it's like this and it's never gonna change" rather than "it's like this and it shouldn't be like this"
You're talking to one
This may be debatable, but I have a strong feeling religion plays a part in this. If your parents were born and raised in a family and community that taught them about an unquestionable all powerful and perfect being that deserves worship and can define what good and bad is arbitrarily and punish you for doing something they consider bad without having to explain themselves to you, but you´re supposed to be complicent and thankful to them because they "love you". And if your parents accept this, it´s no surprise they feel entitled to the obedience of their own children.
@@satoru7601 As a Christian I do believe it can play a part in that, but that's usually someone who doesn't understand the Bible, it says above all else kindness and love are the most important thing (behind God obviously). I do agree that it can be the case but I think it's usually the un-understanding and the fake people of religion. I also don't exactly understand all the rules, but mainly the only one I find unfair is the one where it says you can't he gay. But I also find it a bit odd because it only mentions men doing it and not women. Other than that it all makes sense to me, but Jesus may or may not have said being gay isn't an issue, so it's a bit in the grey area. Sorry for the rambling, let me know if I can clarify this any better for you
Thats not true. Most people grow to not question authority. People just act that way
"Precisely!" -Scar (The Lion King)
I used to be the obedient kid.
I used to be the "speak only when spoken to" kid.
Growing up, I used to think being obedient, docile, mild mannered, always agreeable & untroublesome were always good things. Now I'm coming to see how much that has damaged my psyche.
Being obedient doesn't teach you how assert yourself in a healthy but definite way. Being obedient doesn't teach you how to confront someone when it is necessary. It doesn't teach you how to carry yourself with enough confidence so that your not seen as a doormat.
All it accomplishes is making it easy and convenient for someone else when they want to control or deal with you.
I've had to learn this all myself in my adult years and still have to work on myself to unlearn, decades old behaviours.
I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. You’re so strong for even being able to tell everything.
Now I’m reconsidering how I act because of this….I pretty much fit this mold to a t. Being all those things to me, made me come off as innocent, and innocent is more positive than the word assertive imo. So I’ve always been proud of that fact. But you’re right, I don’t speak up when I feel off about things, especially around friends. I know I have my faults…for starters I have terrible social skills so much so that I don’t believe I’ve made any friends that are female, I don’t make an effort to really go out with my friends my friends have fo do it for me, when I’m confronted by my parents I give “yeahs” and “I will” to do homework which I almost never do, when I’m really confronted by my parents I just go completely silent constantly thinking about what to say but never saying anything which leads to my parents never getting any sort of feel of my thought process. I just stay silent, wait for things to settle down, then head upstairs and repeat.
I used to be the kid who was really obedient at school, kinda quiet, got good grades and some good friends, and then went home and was really bad and disobedient and loud. You know, I was disobedient but I was happy, really happy. That was probably one of the happiest years of my life.. looks like obedient kid ≠ happy kid huh
Well stated and I can't say how much I can relate to this comment haha
It's not black and white. Obedience works when there's a relationship built on trust and is not mutually exclusive with self-respect.
"Obedient children are happy children" um that's a funny way of saying "my kids are afraid of me and thus don't tell me when they're having trouble"
I'm also rather fond of "You've probably read somewhere that you should get down to a child's level when you talk to IT"
What a revealing sentiment.
actually deranged
why would they not tell you
...Why do you think I never ask for help in school...?
...At home, it got me yelled at.
My parents weren't shy of physical punishment, and I never was afraid of them. I respected them. I still do to this day, and think back to how much of a little shit I really was. I still have no issue asking them for help then I did back then. How fucked up is little idiots psyches that they can't move on?
Actually, this PragerU video is pretty helpful. If you do the opposite of what it tells you to do, it's good parenting advice.
If you do the opposite of anything PragerU tells you to do it's good advice
"to a child's level when you talk to *it.*" This guy doesn't even think kids are people.
I was about to say. Why not use “them” or “him or her?” They have a life, they aren’t property. (You’d think someone like him who argues the kid is a life before the kid is a life would realize that.)
What was your first clue? (Light hearted)
They obviously don't see kids as people at all
Like how dare you respect your child, don't you know they're happiest when living in constant fear of abuse and assault (sarcasm!)
They also really don't wanna say they. You know maybe they'll have to admit that it can be a singular pronoun.
To play Devil's advocate, isn't this exactly what the political left and planned parenthood do when referring to an unborn baby? They don't call it a growing child, a boy, a girl, they call them an "it" or a fetus.
@@Skiritai that's cause it's a fetus that can't think yet, not a child
“Obedient children are happy children”
That sounds crazy dystopian
"If your child is too afraid to tell you they're unhappy, you can pretend they are happy and that you're a good parent! Gaslight yourself! Yay!"
Honestly, describes a “parent” in this very comment section (of the video) beat for beat. They think locking your child up in the equivalent of prison is actually good for the child
And there are quite a lot more where THEY came from
reminds me of the "good soldiers follow orders" line from star wars
gave me chills
He called a child “It” because…
A) He doesn’t view children as people
B) He didn’t want to admit “They” was a singular pronoun
C) All of the above
Definitely C.
D
A
D. All of above plus because they got scared of having weekly childe fight /j
C
"obediant children are happy children" seems like something straight out of 1984
This is the same type of stuff Hitler and Stalin encouraged, and with all the book bans recently, I am getting worried about what the next dictatorship will be (not because I am in the US, just because the US is powerful and the UK's tories love them)
ADHD is so well documented at this point. Denying it exists is like the flat earth of psychology.
@Nogilthazaa Redditor detected.
@@ltb1345 how are they a redditor?
@Nogilthazaa I don't understand how so many people believe in fucking angels. I though everybody knew that angels don't have sex.
@Nogilthazaa What the-
The United States is 28% atheist
That 82% figure, if true, means there's a good chance that 10% of the American population are atheists that believe in angels
W h a t
People also completely misunderstand ADHD, it can affect people as much as autism does.
the amount of times he refers to children as "it" is kinda alarming
Can't show that he acknowledges "they" as a singular pronoun.
@@lazuliartz1296 Is this actually an issue. I have never met anyone conservative or not that thinks they is not an appropriate pronoun for an individual. I have met people who oppose preferred pronouns but even they use they in the singular.
@@itsjaydee2228 I have definitely met people (as someone who uses they/them) who don't believe it can be used singular.
(Have in fact had people comment to me that, have also met a couple people in real life).
Obviously, we use they all the time in a singular way. I think these people are just so caught up in opposing preferred pronouns that they forget we use "they" in every day life.
Even if it doesn't want to use the pronoun "they" it could at least say "he or she" like geez
@@jahcode6132 the difference is that he doesn’t want to use he or she since that assumes the child’s gender and he also doesn’t think they is a pronoun for one person. Meanwhile you know that this guy is a man and his pronouns are he/him so you saying calling him “it” is not as justified as his reason for using “it” and while I’m not defending him, your comment was simply disrespectful
Ahh... the rules I was raised.. messed me up. Obedient children aren't happy, they're scared children.
More likely for the children to leave the parents at 18 and to remove contact with them
I'm really glad my dad realized that before he was done raising me.
@@AzoSBear if you're an Indian you really can't cut them off completely.
@@henryfleischer404 good for you.
@@henryfleischer404 I'm still struggling with that to some extent
It's a minor detail, but he literally refers to children as "it" instead of "them" or even "he/she"... You know, like he thinks they're objects
Probably that, or he is so afraid of the "demonic and dangerous" pronouns that he started to stop using singular "they"
@@purp4168,
Realizing that ze uses singular "they" and making a conscious effort to stop already catapults hir to the top percentage of transphobe mental faculties
“At 70 your child will remember being locked in a room for a month.”
You’re right! They’ll also remember it as they pour bleach into your soup.
Stop! Don't pour the bleach!
They will notice. Use arsenic instead.
if at 70 your parents are still alive, I don't think you'd even need to TRY to k*ll them
Bleach soup! Bleach soup!
And the parents will remember being put into a retirement home for the rest of their lives.
@@DodgerFloof I never understood this idea that abusive parents deserve retirement homes; if someone was abusive to me I wouldn't spend a euro on them: they didn't care about my happiness, I'm not going to care if they become homeless.
In my schools I've always found that the teachers who were extremely nice, but not pushovers, usually had the best classrooms. We always respected these teachers, because they showed us respect by treating us like human beings.
On the other hand, there were the teachers who liked to yell and shout at the students. They always demanded respect from us but never bothered to show any. Their classrooms were usually dead quiet, not because the students respected them, but because they feared them
If there was anything school has taught me, it's that respect has to be mutual
Agreed. Mutual respect.
My science teachers room in a nutshell. My class was loud and chatty, extroverted but once they entered my science teachers room...It went dead, as if we all feared our lives
I had a teacher that was pretty nice and charismatic, but also slammed his wooden meter long ruler on the table with a cheeky grin. We all knew he wasn't going to use it, but it sure got our attention when he needed it. He was also just clearly passionate about what he taught which helped.
Meanwhile I had an English teacher who didn't teach English because she'd spend the entire lesson shouting, sending people out, and generally being constantly angry. No one respected her and she didn't respect anyone else. It's no surprise that I failed English to be honest. I had a lot of bad teachers in my time, but she was in the top 3 for sure (Number one gave someone detention for crying after someone had STABBED THEM hard in the finger with a compass. Blood everywhere).
@@chrissy9997 yikes, thats gotta suck
@@menilly4937 It sucked, but then that's normal school for you honestly. Pretty sure it's an objectively terrible experience for most people.
"Obedient children are happy children"
or maybe "obedient" children learn to hide their emotions from abusive parents, and then the parents and the rest of the world can just assume the child is happy, since they are displaying no outward signs of sadness
More correctly, parents with obedient children are happy parents. This is what usually happens in the end. The child becomes an extension of the parent's desires, not being able to fulfill their own individual desires.
They don’t *look* sad - because they’re so happy!!
@@stevengu1253 I think that's pretty much how people used to see children as being in ancient times. Well, until they become big enough they can fight for dominance.
@@torondin Honestly, I feel that depends on the culture of the civilization.
@@torondin No letting the child rule the household is a dysfunctional family.
He literally said "don't explain anything because your explanations can be torn apart"
If that isn't a conservative self-own idk what is
I’m willing to bet this guy doesn’t see his kids a lot at the holidays
A guy like that has kids? Yikes
@@Hi_Brien Yikessssssssssssssssss...
Me the second I become 18:
Srsly, I'm gonna get my dad a card not wishing him a happy holiday, and telling him not to expect any more cards or calls.
My mom's cool tho.
@@Hi_Brien maybe he had kids…
@Polite Comments On Current Affairs I'm Jewish. Not Christian, not American.
PragerU on parenting advice:
"when enraged, punish your child severely"
Oversimplified: "I wouldn't recommend that"
and that's how you get a serial killer.
I understood that reference
The last child that was punished severely didn't end to well...
And adolf father punished him. Severely
@@dangernoodle8813 or a dictator
Speaking as an ex-“obedient child”, most obedient children are terrified, repressed children who will turn into poorly adjusted adults. This dude is basically saying that “you can’t let them argue with you because you don’t actually have any good reason for what you’re doing.”
THIS! I Was An Ex-Obedient Child And My Mom Literally Told Me "Children Should Be Scared Of Their Parents"
She Also Didn't Taught Me Anything As A Kid. She Didn't Even Teach Me Nor My Sister To Learn To Tie Our Own Shoes
@Rainwish52 Thank God I'm Not The Only One Lol. It's So Embarrassing And Ofc I Lie To People And Just Pretend I'm Tieing My Shoes When Instead I'm Tucking Them Into The Inside Of My Shoes
To Vintora: That mother you describe sounds too dim to make use of anything except a nightstick or truncheon. Deadbeats like her are exactly why I don't believe anything social conservatives say about parent sovereignty, and why their propaganda for looser checks and balances on families throughout a community is completely harebrained.
@@hailey-rosevintora6211 That sucks :( My parents are also super controlling, I’m 19 and I still don’t have my license. I get scared to ask how to do certain things because everyone else seems to have learned them a long time ago too. Don’t be ashamed to check online though. You’d be surprised what kinds of things there are videos for. I looked it up and there are a few vids on how to tie your shoes on youtube. You can do this!
"Obidient children are happy children"
I have been an obidient child. It was a trauma response. I was obidient because i was scared shitless of my father, and i'm not sure if being scared of someone who's supposed to protect you is good
I have ASPD because of all the John Rosemond advise my mom followed, so basically a secondary psychopath's personality. He's the one advising parents to torture their children, but I am the psychopath?
"I'm big, you little, so you listen"
While we're at it, let's demolish your sense of wonder and destroy your individuality. Yep, sounds like boomer parent logic.
Sounds just like my step dad.
My step-dad was treated like this when he was a kid, apparently, on his birthday, his grandpa died, and his dad locked him in his room and gave him twenty minutes to get over it, I'm an adult so he never really acted like my dad, but he tries and always encourages me to be unapologetically me, and I love that he recognizes what happened to him was wrong, and that takes a really big person. Idk why I typed this out your comment just reminded me of that
The irony is many of the 'boomer generation' were really focused on raising their children differently, most had undergone really bad abuse growing up.
@ᴍʀ ꜱᴍɪʟʏ Trying to trigger people on TH-cam? You sound so much like a gen-z snob. You can do so much better than this.
@ᴍʀ ꜱᴍɪʟʏ did someone hurt you or are you just a sad pitiful existence (not a beaing you dont get that word thrash)
reminds me of matilda "i'm smart, you're dumb, i'm big, you're little, i'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it"
"Obedient children are happy children" sounds like an excuse to enable lots... and I mean *LOTS* of abuse.
Too much spanking to children will make them grow up to become trolls, keyboard warriors, and people that intentionally pisses you off because they teach fear, not respect, therefore the problem of the internet came from hyper conservative parents.
I tried being obedient in my high school career. I was rarely acknowledged for it. To me happiness was "If I can get through the day without getting in trouble, it will be a good day."
That's because it is, OP.
@@TheScrowlingFender7 So how's that depression, conflicting emotions, an incapacity to initiate conversations, and struggles to build and maintain a healthy and balanced relationship treating you?
I know using star wars as a reference in serious issues is dumb but that phrase has some real "Good Soldiers follow orders vibes"
'Explanations invite arguments'
They literally do the opposite. I'm autistic, I will never be willing to do something that doesn't have a logical explanation. Sure, making sure children recognise the authority in parents is important but it can't be bullying.
I have ADHD. I was diagnosed as an adult. A common complaint my dad has had is that ever since I “found the internet”, I’ve “always had an answer” for everything.
Two problems with that.
First: he’s the person that taught me to be curious and interested in learning. He’s really smart, and he taught me that learning and seeking knowledge is good.
Second: reflecting on a life of undiagnosed ADHD, I realize that my brain is interest- motivated. I don’t do things that aren’t interesting.
Wanting to know why is me using what I learned from my dad to learn more, and to build a bridge of interest from where I am, to where I am wanted.
However, since I was smart, I simply “wasn’t living up to my potential”, instead of “struggling in school”. I wasn’t diagnosed until the collection of life experiences I’d suffered brought me to my first panic attack, which led me to therapy, which led me to diagnoses.
You're both right.
I agree with almost the whole thing.
Except for the authority part.
Probably not a big surprise Considering doggy is an anarchist.
But I'm also autistic and as such hyper logical.
And there's no good reason for parents to be recognized as authorities, simply because they are parents.
As I tried to teach my own bonus kid:
You really need to trust someone deeply. To understand their motivation and background for saying what they do.
And you should know for sure that they have your best interests in mind, before you just do what they tell you.
Obeying ppl just because they made you, or are older than you or because they look cool on insta, is a recipe for disaster and fascism.
It's always a good idea to think things through for yourself, before you decide to listen to someone else.
Especially when young and impressionable.
And I fucking love it when my kid wants to discuss rules and argue with me. Sometimes they win, sometimes I win. But every time we listen to each other and both learn something valuable about the situation and each other.
Maybe My definition of authority is different than yours.
I do believe that someone can have authority, without being an authority, if that makes sense.
IE. If I need my electricity fixed, I'mma call someone who knows how to do it. And I'm not gonna argue with her about how it's done.
But I'm also not gonna let her make other decisions in my home.
Like...
I recognize her having authority in the field of her expertise, but not in general.
And that's my general attitude towards power dynamics.
My boss is good at organizing the concert venue he runs, he's shit at recognizing disability needs, racism, sexism and such.
I'm better at that than he is. So. I trust him to make decisions about the way we run shows. But not about interpersonal stuff between coworkers or guests.
And same with the kid I love and care for.
They are the expert on their own lives.
My experience can help them make their own decisions, but I'm 20 years older than them and have no experience with being a kid on social media for example.
Damn. 😅 It got long. Didn't intend to write y'all a whole novel.
But apparently I got a lot of thoughts and feelings about this.
And I 100% Stan Consent based parenting.
And "free range kids" as some Americans like to call it.
I just call it equality.
And yes. I consider kids my equals.
Equals that I'm responsible for feeding, teaching, guiding and protecting.
But absolutely competent and smart little humans whom I always try to listen to and consider their opinions in all the decisions we make.
I was thinking the exact same thing. It's always more difficult to do something without an explanation on why it's important or how to do it
@@ATTACKofthe6STRINGS I've heard that "answer for everything" line many times in my life. I'm also ADHD and I lived with people who wanted me to just take what they said at face value, or they just wanted a conversation to end because they were an adult and I wasn't. To their credit, we were all living through stressful events and life is exhausting, and I was exhausting to talk to sometimes. But I still learned to recognize that what they were saying was ridiculous. Having an answer for everything was just code for "everything doesn't need to turn into a huge discussion, just listen to what I say because XYZ." Sometimes XYZ was valid, usually it wasn't.
As an adult, I've actually seen the value in that phrase, which really surprised me. Not in the way people used it for me, but in the sense that I always assume that I'm right. Or I have an answer for things I'm actually not sure about. I'll answer on topics that I'm really not well versed in, just because I think I have a useful answer. And, as you can guess, many times I really don't. But I'm compelled to have an answer for everything, and I'm learning to force myself to double check that what I'm telling people is valid and accurate, before I actually verbalize the information. I can have an answer to everything, but I probably shouldn't.
I find it hilariously ironic that PragerU, so blatantly conservative and anti-authoritarian, start hypocritically telling parents that children should be obedient and not question or argue anything.
To call them a conservative nonprofit is a bit too generous. They may be nonprofit in terms of bookkeeping, but their whole purpose is to act as a dummy organization meant to promote the ideologies that make the companies and political affiliates that directly line their pockets more palettable.
“Obedient children are happy children” sounds like a line out of a Stephen King novel/movie that the abusive religious parent character would say.
That's exactly my thoughts! Carrie is quaking 😭
Something the librarian would say lol
LMFAO so specific but so accurate
It’s okay, you can say Margaret White lol
Pov: your Issac
Traumatize your child until they no longer show how unhappy they are? What could go wrong!
right, we do the same to adults it's called jail
@@necropolistc6357
In civilized countrys jails are actually quite good to their prisoners.
This isn't trauma it's called discipline, something you leftist clearly never had otherwise your argumenta wouldn't be as vapid and vacuous as they are.
@@blacky_Ninja what is this connection to a jail? Kids are called dependents for a reason. Because they are dependents of discipline and order to shape their life.
@@Grstn-Grstn
The connection is that NecropolisTC wrote that „traumatizing someone until they don‘t show their true feelings is how jails work“ and i replied that in civilized countrys not even jails are as inhumane as to do what some people do to their own children.
I was called smart and obedient as a kid: I was also heavily abused and don’t talk with my parents anymore
So sorry you had to go through that.
Same friend, same... And it took finally seeking therapy for that abuse to see how bad it was.
Same. Its taken years of therapy to even begin to undo. That fact that you're on the other side and examining it means you've made it and im proud of you. Some of us just follow along the same parenting script we had handed to us.
I love my parents, but recently (this year) Ive been doing deep self searching and realized how many of my negative social qualities were sorta absorbed from them. But thankfully on a certain "trip" I realized since I was instilled with these qualities not born with them, that means they're removable as well.
If you got called “mature for your age” as a kid, there’s like an 80% chance you have trauma and/or a mental illness.
This is all in service to capitalism. Teach your kids to blindly listen to authority, so they won’t push back against political figures they won’t push back against their employers, and they won’t push back against the clergy.
Thank You!
This has nothing to do with capitalism.
@@chee.rah.monurB it does in a subconcious level
Unfortunately, you are correct.
Womp Womp 💀
My most proud moment as a parent was when my mother in law tried the whole "I am your elder, do as I say" crap during an argument and my 6yo son just shouts back "THAT'S NOT A GOOD REASON".
She then started to get physically aggressive with him at which point I intervened. It illustrated the problem with the authoritarian approach perfectly: if demanding and yelling doesn't work then you have nowhere else to go but physical assault.
Ur son must be a very understandable kid
@@ryanp7546 I think the secret, more than anything, is simply remembering what it was like to be a kid and how frustrating it was feeling like you have no control over your own life. I just give my son some simple courtesies such as asking nicely, letting him finish his TV show if the thing I'm asking isn't urgent (or explaining why it is), and if he can't finish his TV show then suggesting a time when he can (e.g. after school). Takes me maybe an extra 10 seconds versus just demanding he do it now and switching off the TV abruptly, and results in a far better response from him. Now he feels like his wants are respected, and is more willing to accept when he can't satisfy them right at that moment.
How dare someone barely related to your child put her hands on your son. Your six year old son. Your mother in law seems like a bit of a sicko tyrant. Geez.
@Dylan Williams She basically gripped his arm and then told him to try breaking her grip. It was a classic bullying attempt to assert her physical dominance. I just firmly told her that this isn't how we treat each other, gently released her grip and took my son into another room. She went off in a sulk as always, but she has never done anything like that since then thankfully.
@@chawk6201 She isn't a bad person, but I'd say she is a very emotionally damaged person due to her own childhood (she didn't have one, basically), and unfortunately it can make her quite toxic to be around for long periods of time.
She does love the kids though and most of the time her worst crime is she just sticks them on the iPad so she can rearrange our kitchen to her liking when she's meant to be doing fun activities with them.
John said “sources: dude trust me”
Don’t forget “I’m a ‘professional’”
"Sources: bro I promise it's the truth"
“sources: trust me bro.”
lmaooo
They really said “because I said so”
I'm 25 years old and I still have frequent nightmares about my dad's abuse. And as far as abuse goes, it was relatively tame. Chasing me around the neighborhood at night, screaming at me then refusing to even look at me for the next few days, sending me to my room for nine hours at the drop of a hat... stuff like that. He "only" hit me once. And yes, I realize how much I'm minimizing, but my point is that PragerU is advocating for some seriously malicious shit that would leave kids way more scarred than I am. This is how generational trauma starts.
OH MY GOD
That isnt tame at all honestly. Even the relatively mild stuff my parents did when I was a kid hurt a lot and definitely effected how I am now. And when you really look at it, they arent even bad people. But the stuff they did still had regocnizeable effects on me.
How your dad acted is 10 times worse than what my parents did. And the comparison doesnt matter. They still hurt you and thats what matters. That is why people should be extra carefull raising children.
that's not remotely tame,, it's made of the same stuff this guy is recommending.
The Problem with spanking isn't the physical damage but rather the emotional one.
And you can do that just fine without actually hitting people
shiiiit, thats abuse? kinda sounds like some of the stuff my mom does.
The part about how your child will remember you locking them in their room when they're 70 but they'll also remember that they never hit their mom again really resonated with me, because I can counter that with an example from my own childhood.
My parents used corporal punishment, sometimes quite a lot, and once upon a time for some offence, my dad did something that went far beyond a spanking that I'd rather not say but is well outside of what would be considered normal discipline even at that time.
You see, I doubt my dad remembers doing that, because it was just something he did, and although I do remember the punishment, I have absolutely no memory of what I was being punished for, or if I ever did it again. It's just in my memory as trauma.
I'd like to add to this that I don't hate my parents, I perhaps don't have as close a relationship with them as other people have with their parents, but in time they've had the chance to reflect on mistakes they made as parents and make effective apology, and I've learned to forgive them for those mistakes, and as I've got older I've felt they have supported me when I've needed it and that they do love me even if I didn't feel it during my childhood. I'm more recounting this story to counter the notion that abuse and the trauma it inflicts reinforces not doing unwanted behaviour.
I now work in an alternative school tutoring and leading science classes. One of the things that motivates me is that I aim to be the adult I needed in my life when I was the children's age. Sorry to trauma dump, this video very much resonated with me.
"Never give a child an explanation"
And in doing so you will train the child to never be curious about the world and deprive them of the necessary tools to make informed decisions about things you haven't taught them. Seriously, this is the one of the most important things you could do for a child and he's telling you don't because the kid might argue with you. If they're arguing, then that means the child is trying to understand the logic behind the explanation. This guy has no understanding that a child is still a person, and they need to be treated like people
Being a kid that was raised with parents that did that sometimes (not because my parents were evil, just ignorant), i can honestly say that that doesn't work unless you already made the kid a drone in the first place. Most kids i talk to do things i want them to do or other people couldn't make them do when i explain why in a coherent manner, because i remember as a kid being so frustrated that i had to do stuff and couldn't question why, and if my parents did explain and i said it doesn't make sense they'd scold me and say i'm disobedient or something. Even if you need them to do something but they can't understand why or you can't give a good explanation just give them a good reason to. People have to remember that kids are still people and not robots.
That's the point.
They don't want learning, curiosity, discussion... They just want you Obey.
but then they won't grow up to watch PragerU lol
The only reason to deprive children of an explanation is because you don't want them to know things. This makes sense if you look at this parenting style in the context of authoritarian traditionalism. They want uncurious, uninformed kids who won't ask questions and will perpetuate the same style of parenting. Many of the parents don't even have the answers because their parents didn't explain, either. It's the best way to retain a base to vote against their best interests. They support policy that actively hurts them because that's how their Daddies voted, go to Church where Daddy went to Church, watch the same news, etc. No one ever questions the status quo, and they see it as dangerous to do so, the behavior of those people they've been taught not to trust because they want to destroy God and America.
That's what most ppl don't understand
"wait, what do you mean children have their own thoughts/feelings/personalities? they're supposed to be just like me!"
@YourRationalWorldisaCircleJerk Well said. My dad sometimes feels bad if he gives something to my sister that he doesn't give to me. I'm like, "Dad, I'm 40 years old and have my own job. You don't owe me a darn thing. I'm the one that owes you! You and mom gave me more than anyone else ever did!" But I know not everyone has good parents unfortunately. I can tell that mine cared deeply about me, to correct me when I was bad and encourage me when I was good. What more can a parent do?
@YourRationalWorldisaCircleJerk there's a difference between respect and mindless obedience. Kids aren't mutual fund investments. It is possible to love and be grateful to your family while also being your own person.
@YourRationalWorldisaCircleJerk yeah no one is saying young children should ignore their parents entirely and do what they like. I don't know why you assumed everyone here was a kid.
@YourRationalWorldisaCircleJerk I am not interested in debating a tangential topic rn, sorry. If you want to talk a bit more about your initial comment, sure I'll participate
@YourRationalWorldisaCircleJerk yikes. I don't agree at all. Of course, it is normal for a parent to want grandkids, but whether or not I have kids is my decision. A child is an investment without guarenteed returns. The only healthy reason to have kids, imo, is that you want to experience the joy of raising them. If you're doing it expecting to control their futures, you're setting yourself up for disappointment and the kids up for abuse.
Also come on, that's an appeal to nature, a pretty bad logical fallacy. In nature, a large number of animals actually die without passing on their genes. One could well argue that that is as 'natural' as having offspring. And I'd like to be part of a family/nation that doesn't make such harsh demands of me
if you can't win an argument against a kid 30 years younger than you by calmly explaining yourself, you've got much bigger problems than being a bad parent
You shouldn't have arguments with a child..
@@andrewt2393 You shouldn't -fight- with your child, but a calm argument that doesn't escalate, where you and your child are in disagreement over something, is something you have to do if you want to have a healthy relationship with the child. You aren't always going to see eye to eye, and that's fine. You need to teach your child, by example, how to get through such a situation, in a civilized manner.
@@andrewt2393 whats wrong with that? arguments ≠ fights
There are children who can be extremely argumentative at age nine. Its a rare occurrence, but you cant expect to win the argument without wasting a lot of time and mental resources in the process.
Other concepts may be more important, such as "we will miss this appointment/errand/opportunity if we sit here arguing",
or "respect others, including the right for your parent to get some rest",
or "the world does not revolve around you, there is such a thing as being too argumentative and people will not like you or care to answer you if you insist too much or if you cannot distinguish between trivial matters and important ones that are worth discussing"
@@TheNasaDude I agree, absolutely. Kids should be taught not to be nitpicky or to use rhetorical skills just to get what they want. But those are still examples where you explain why the child shouldn't be doing what they're doing. It's not just "because i said so".
In the end, I think a lot of it boils down to trust. A child has to trust you in the first place, for them to listen when you give them a statement like "the world doesn't revolve around you". If they do trust you and look up to you, you don't even have to "win" the argument in the traditional sense
Anyone who advocates with this style of parenting needs to ask themselves: if my boss at work hit me, yelled at me, or locked me in a room for a month when I made a mistake, would that be okay? No? Well then why is it okay to do any of that to a child?
The real reason parents do these kind of abusive tactics is because its easy. Children are smaller, weaker, and more naive/trusting than adults, and thus way easier to batter and frighten them into submission. And with how stressful and thankless parenthood can be, it can be so tempting to smack your child across the face when they refuse to eat their vegetables or pick up their toys.
And people wonder why every fucking one had mental issues.
Like shit like that Wong mess you up.
“OBEDIENT CHILDREN ARE HAPPY CHILDREN”
has the same energy as:
“OBEDIENT CITIZENS ARE HAPPY CITIZENS”
when 1984 becomes relatable instead of terrifying and dystopic,you know you have shit parents
there is no war in ba sing se
"We are all happy comrades in the Soviet union."
Drugged children are happier than obedient children. Maybe he should recommend that instead. *SARCASM*
No, see, children don't have human rights, and deserve nothing. Adults simply tolerate children, as they are gods compared to children, and children must treat them as such.
"Obedient children are happy children"
Disclaimer: No children were surveyed in the following statement
Source: trust me bro
Y’all for real don’t think there’s grown adults who followed their parents commands and rules growing up who aren’t perfectly happy healthy adults?
Anytime someone suggests children should have firm structure and shouldn’t be allowed to lead their own lives as soon as they can walk everyone goes to the worst extreme they can think of never understanding there’s billions of families who structure their family in this exact way and are happy and successful
I'm more of the idea that "Obedient children are happy children", because if a child, upon being asked, answered that they are not happy, it would prove that they are disobeying the command to lie and claim that they are happy even if they are not.
@@SD352-68i know it's nitpicking but i'm skeptical of how you write skepticism
@@MorgueMage Parents commands ≠ Controlling your children.
I hope this clears up confusion. Nobody is saying don't obey your parents, jeez.
40 Years Later
Parent: Why are you putting me in this retirement home? Why can’t I see my grandkids?
Child, now an adult: Because I said so.
Underrated comment. 🤣
I could see this being a real conversation
I'm not gonna tell you. I shouldn't explain myself!
“Well, ma, you shouldn’t’ve spanked me.”
@@yourbizarrekai No this is a sad bitter person who has done no work in healing or growing themselves therefore becoming EXACTLY who abused THEM which wad a traumatized bitter resentful human who didn’t have the tools to do any betterand also probably blamed others for their lack of growth.
Kind of like the woke left extremists and the extreme insane right wingers. Both parties are the same people thinking they did something “different” than their parents when the results are blatantly obviously so similar in outcome.
Lots of traumatized people still in lots of pain trying to “save others” when their pain is raw doing a whole lots of pretending they don’t hate others with different opinions or different life experiences while screaming “peace” through clenched teeth. How is this not EXACTLY the extreme right wing and their “take” on the love of Jesus. This is all about control of others for both parties. Fear based people need certainty to feel safe.
Life is messy, kids gets hurt, people die, marriages fail, pain happened yet our culture thinks that the “fix” is with the other people, when if people understood human behavior, the brain, and trauma they would see this is an inside job and the solutions they are fighting so hatefully for, would occur as a natural state of health of the individuals.
I will never conform to this sick snd dis-eased society. Nor will I gaslight myself for somebody else’s “feelings or need for validation” when WE all have trauma and all need certain people to validate us but demanding strangers to do so is as narcissistic as this man.
"She will also remember that she never hit her mother again," yeah, and also planned her mother's nursing home once she realized how messed up her mom is.
"She will also remember that she never hit her mother again, she also never spoke to her again after she turned 18, but that's probably unrelated"
Can we appreciate that this guy is the definition of
"Source(s): dude trust me"
HE RLY IS
conservatism as a whole is defined by that style of rhetoric. They have no other choice, because whenever their ideology is pitted against actual facts, the facts win every time.
This is actually the case with every PragerU video whose sources I checked.
all 4 articles on that video were written by him
"When's the last time you heard a kid be called obedient? Probably has been a while."
Probably because obedient is an adjective for behaving animals, not human children.
@Polite Comments On Current Affairs I agree with you in the second half, but children are now treated as small teenagers not young adults
@Polite Comments On Current Affairs and some bs like “obedient children are happy children” isn’t some me-me-me attitude from controlling parents?
Aside from how dystopian and nonsensical it sounds, shouldn’t it be the other way around where a child that is happy is therefore more likely to listen out of respect?
Obedience is NOT connected to animals, that's BS. Regardless of how, children have always been expected to obey their parents.
@Polite Comments On Current Affairs lmao you’re commenting angrily under everything. Another triggered conservative snowflake can’t handle progress
@Polite Comments On Current Affairs
If you don't Adress anything in this comment it will simply prove what I've said about you and your beliefs
Have you looked at the internet lately?
Literally almost everyone in our new generation makes fun of people who use the term 'Special Snowflakes'
Like
That word usage makes you sound like some stubborn, old person who thinks the new generations are going to be the downfall of society.
I mean, I've met good grandparents, elderly, but with what shit the newer generations have had to deal with due to the mistakes of past generations of authority it's hardly surprising that the majority of them want to *not* be carbon copies of past generations
By that logic it would just lead to more uprisings, war, and messed up generations repeating mistakes in a monotonous cycle until civilization inevitably collapses from the lack of sustainability.
I've seen you everywhere in the comments and what I've gained is that you believe negative reinforcement cultivates good children
Tell me though, have you actually read into the psychological science behind those supposedly 'good results'?
Because, through actual logic and not an ever-consuming urge to feel dominant over children and future generations, it has been proven over and over that positive reinforcement and natural (*Emphasis on 'natural'*) consequences cultivate the best results in children that lead them to actually becoming stable adults.
Perhaps actually do some reaserch about it, because your obviously missing out on some very interesting knowledge.
“If your kid is obedient, he’s either a great kid or a great actor” - A guy who wants to sound smarter by using quotes
That guy succeeded
@@compositeembryo7186 Yeah he succeeded... being an idiot that's hated by a lot of people on the internet (and probably a lot more in real life). SUCCESS 100!!!
@@godnyx117 Last time I checked, the internet likes jokes. What would they hate about this?
I am a great actor, because i am cool (sunglasses emoji to emphasize the cool)
@MMoLoLu same 😔
What pissed me off as a kid was my dad saying "Because I said so" or " I'm the adult you listen to me" I hated this because he would never explain well what he wanted you to do and when you did it wrong he would explode. I just wanted him to say " Oh because mom is coming home soon and I want the house to look nice for her" Or " I need some help cleaning so could you go pick up your room." But I would hate it when he basically said because I told you to.
I can imagine that. By "Because I said so" and similar sayings, he's basically implying that you are there to resist and not help.
Yeah. I’m neurodivergent, most of my family is- and it’s much easier to do things with a goal in mind. I need to clean the porch, because my grandparents are staying over. I need to play outside because stuffy air isn’t healthy. I need to take care of the animals because if I don’t, they’ll be sad and the tanks will stink. It’s so much easier to accomplish when there’s a reason.
Rosemond: "Punishment should cause a permanent memory"
Me: "Hey that sounds a lot like trau-"
Zoe: "THAT'S LITERALLY WHAT TRAUMA IS"
yep, and you know what you touch a hot stove once and you don't do it again.
@@webduelist Yeah, but that doesn't mean parents ought to be forcibly putting their kids' hands on hot stoves to teach them that lesson. That's the difference.
@@webduelist Yeah, and folks who get their kids taken by CPS hopefully learn not to abuse their children again
Lmao I verbatim said the same thing tight before she said it too
@Polite Comments On Current Affairs You're comment isn't very polite.
i was an absolutely miserable child, the most obedient child ever. literally never did anything out of line, so i'd get yelled at for things like leaving a spoon in the sink instead. and now i have depression, anxiety, etc
You can always start a new game!
@@shacochad7052 by killing myself?
@@shacochad7052 what the actual fuck
@@flowersinantarctica8 th-cam.com/video/k1BneeJTDcU/w-d-xo.html
@@shacochad7052 *truck-kun enters the chat*
you see, for years and years i used to be a child. as a former child, i can confirm that listening to this man's advice will make your kids hate you
John Mulaney?
cry harder
@@Licw-Luxuswow, you really got him this time, what a riveting argument 😐
@@Licw-Luxus???
Parents can't just behave however they want without consequences, as many think. Kids don't stay kids for long.