As a single guy with no kids, I love seeing and hearing children at Mass. I had a priest say "yes! Sing out to Jesus!" when a child yelled out in the middle of his homily. Ever since then, every time a child yells out, I can't help but smile.
At the ages of 7 and 10, our boys would fidget, argue and be noisy during mass. They were being normal boys but my husband and I found it difficult to concentrate and pray. So.....we sent them to the front -to be altar boys. Now they truly, actively participate in the celebration and my husband and I can attend mass in peace!
@@erinbecker4057 That's not the truth, they were tragedies. To say that every priest would abuse a child is as ignorant to say that every parent is abusive, or that everyone is a murder. Grouping an entire group of men that way is also incredibly sexist and shows no respect for human dignity. The actions of one person never reflect on another. Just as you wouldn't say because one black or Hispanic man murdered or committed some other heinous crime, you would never say that every single man of those communities would do the same. Obviously, this logic is incredibly flawed in this setting and every other, but you don't want to answer to that. I don't speak out of anger nor to insult you in any way, but seriously it's childish to state this logical fallacy against a freaking mother talking about bringing her child to mass. Overall, incredibly inappropriate to do to a parent and against these good men.
@@burningroses2399 I agree with you in a lot of ways, however, the unfortunate reality is, priests, bishops, Cardinals, even Popes have lost trust with the faithful, and like it or not, I think, that right now, in this moment, you shouldn’t just believe everything that comes out of a man’s mouth just because he is wearing a cassock, Whether that cassock is black, red… or white. I don’t think every priest is a molester, but at the bare minimum, you should be wary of what they say.
We bring our 1.5 yo and 3yo to Mass every Sunday and have brought them since they were a few weeks old. We bring various noise free toys. Luckily our church priests and congregation are quite supportive. For the occasional stink face/stinky remark, I just say, "Jesus said to bring the children to Him, so take it up with Jesus"! Hahaha. God bless you and your family.
We've taken every one of our 4 kids to mass every Sunday. What's worked for us: STEP 1: Consistency. Go to mass on a regular basis. STEP 2: Sit up front as close as possible so they can SEE what's going on. STEP 3: Don't use snacks or tons of toys. STEP 4: If they start whining, do what you can to distract them with something. Funny faces, tickles, etc. STEP 5: If the whining turns into crying, get up, and walk to the back of the church. This is normally enough to calm them down until the next part of mass. Then go sit back down. STEP 6: Know that YOU will be distracted during mass. Read the readings ahead of time. TRY to listen to the homily if you can.
Stephen Nesbit bwahaha this is what my parents did and is a perfect recipe for raising kids who leave the church. Just accept that mass is boring and irrelevant to children and most adults
Yes - agreed 100% with Stephen. We did and do just this and I think our kids (7&9) are better and more engaged in Mass bc we took them regularly and sit close.
@@kerrid5717 Our 18yo daughter went through confirmation. Our 8yo son loves church. Our 7yo daughter has no complaints. Our 19mo son is... well, a toddler. And our baby due in 3 weeks will be raised the same. Sorry your experience was so different. Maybe it was the parish or priests...?
@@kerrid5717 I am sorry that your parent's children left the church. I am a cradle Catholic who 'was made' to go to mass every week along with my other siblings. I have never left the church; not even during my rebellious years. My kids know that we go to mass every week. My son is passionate about altar serving, and the toddler is usually good until the homily where we walk around the sanctuary. I pray that your siblings return home one day.
Although the kids are not bound the kids really build on what they experience, even when little. I heard a very young voice behind me last week at mass, saying the Lord's Prayer, it was a pleasure and a blessing.
What made me feel a lot better about the noises my son would make was someone saying that a quiet church is a dead church. I love hearing all the kids at mass, they are the future of the church!
My husband and I found that, the closer we are to the front of church where they can see the priest and not someone’s backside the better they do because they can focus on what’s happening better. I’m happy to see young children in the pews even if they want everyone’s attention. Thanks for the witness!
@@class.C Being patient with the kiddos crying will help sanctify you through the virtue of patience. Even better offer your services to parents with kids- charity. Bam sainthood ;)
@@Totoro-in-the-TARDIS Im not at mass to practice patience. Im there to offer up myself for the reparation of sins for those sick and dying and those suffering in purgatory.
I'm single with no kids and I love hearing kids and babies during mass. And if a child starts to get fussy I ask the Blessed Mother and the angels to come and play with or distract the child to quiet them down. Never fails!
I’ve dealt with both sides. At one church the Priest was so sweet and addressed the entire congregation after a particularly loud mass (my toddler wasn’t the only one making noise 😅) about how great it was to hear the sounds of children and how it reminded him of Christ saying “let the little children come to me”. He went on to say “I’m sure many of you remember when your children were that age and how difficult it was at times so let’s thank these parents for choosing to bring their little ones to mass”. I’ll never forget that. ❤️ At the church we’re currently at, I do my best to keep our son inside with me and remind him that “Jesus is watching” when he starts to get too loud or unruly. He really loves Jesus and this usually works... but when it doesn’t I’ll take him out for a few minutes and then try to go back in. This past Sunday I was Cantor so my husband had him alone which he isn’t really used to and ended up taking him out to the narthex where another father was trying to wrangle his toddler while holding his little baby because mom was home sick. Someone who considers himself “security” went so far as to scold both my husband and this other father for not keeping the kids quiet enough and told the other father that he “should just stay home” next time. 😱 My husband was so upset... we are planning to address this with the priest as I’m sure these are not his wishes. It can be very difficult to focus on the mass with littles and I understand wanting to leave them home. If you’re able to, Great. Personally, I find that our son does better the more he attends so we will keep bringing him weekly but if we have another and maybe have to switch off... we will figure it out. Although it’s not mandatory that they go, I think it’s good for them to be there and I try to encourage other parents who are trying like us to expose our young children to the beauty of the mass. It’s so much easier when we help each other rather than judge.
In my parish we have a mass for children all sundays. In that mass the catechist have a reserved seat with the kids and he/she would explain them what is happening in each moment and what is the correct posture each time. The first year is kind of rough but it gets better. The older children (8 to 10) will be in charge of certain parts in the mass (for example the petitions, I don't know if that is how do you say it in english, sorry) and the oldest (from 10 to 17) will read the first, second lecture and psalm. Finally our chorus is componed by all the kids who whant to participate (our youngest is a 2yo), being helped by our young guitarrist and vocalist (also parents and catechists) That mass is especially made for the kids, people knows it and that's why nobody gets mad for a scream or two. It's so cool to see so many little kids with their families. We needed to get creative because our parish doesn't have a cry room, maybe if we had one things would be diferent. I feel vey luky to have this mass 😄 Sorry for the looooong coment and for the mistakes, english is my second languaje 😳
Cool topic. We had 9 children. All went to mass with us on Sunday’s and holy days. At our Ukrainian Catholic Church mass was from an hour and a half to 2 hours. Around the time of the sermon there was a children’s program downstairs till communion. Was beautiful. Our priest loved the sound of baby’s and toddlers as it made the church alive. Let the children come. Thankyou for all you guys do. Love you.
I' Rememberon my children with little . They couldn't stay still In mass My wife was frustrated They were so wiggly . But we had to have patience . People around us He'd show patients No one said anything That's the way I look at it Since my children are bigger now when I ever heard a baby crying I have compassion.
These children are the church of the future.I personally took my four children to mass all the time,from day one.It was challenging.I was anxious about them making noise and fidgeting.I had previously never bothered about children in church making noise etc. it was always part of the backdrop. Now there are very few children at mass in many churches. We have no guarantee of tomorrow.Deferring taking them to mass until they reach the age of reason etc. is presumptive of your future opportunities.Besides, small children absorb things that we do not fully appreciate.Immersing them in church attendance and liturgy is a good routine and learning experience.Keep up the good work.
Great video! There will always be people that judge and complain, but parents need to do what’s best for them and their families. My children are not going to act like other’s children and vice versa. Each family is unique and will have different struggles. Each family has different circumstances, so just because something may work for one family, doesn’t guarantee it will for another. In the end, we are all seeking to follow Jesus.
Agreed with a LOT of what you say. I COMPLETELY agree with others not giving the eye or making rude comments (priests included). Be supportive! With our 7 kids, we've learned to lower our standards. A priest friend told us the grace of the sacrament is there, with or without your perfect attention. Also, know when to take your child out because the child doesn't know they are being loud, but the adults do. Try, but if it's a losing cause, wave the white flag and step out. Be respectful to the others in the church if you want them to be respectful to you. I do believe there is value of bringing your kiddos to church below the age of reason. Grace flows from the sacrament at any age. As our kids became older, if our younger ones act up and we can't get them quiet, our older kids take them out and walk with them either in the cry room or just outside the body of the church. Know that it does get better and those kids who give you a dose of humility in church now will make you proud in church very soon.
We have 4 children 7, 5, 3, and 2. I totally know what you are going through! We tried so many things. Sitting in the front, the cry room, snacks, toys, you name it! What I found has helped is taking my kids to adoration with me. It helped teach them to be quiet for an extended period of time. We talk about Jesus and Mary. We can pray together or talk about catechism. It was rough at first but now they are able to recognize this is the Lord's house. Our priest is very pro children thankfully! Every parent with small children is in my prayers!
We used to bring snacks, toys and books to mass but for us and our particular kids we found that by the time we had 3 kids toys and snacks weren’t helpful. They became a source of fighting and drama. So we stopped, but I don’t think it’s bad to do if it’s helpful. We sit in the middle of the second row so that kids can see really well but can’t escape because there are always people on either side of us. 😂 We give our kids lots of freedom in the row to walk and move around but if we take them out they lose all freedom and are held the entire time. This helps make being in the row the best choice for the kid who wants to move. I read this suggestion years ago and it was extremely helpful for us. We currently have a 7.5, 6, 3.5 and 1 year old kids and have a lot of success with consistently taking our kids to church but on occasion we do leave them. Do what works, do your best and just keep trying. It’s worth it!!
Hey, you can always read an online homily after (or before). Being there at mass, even distracted, already brings grace, and the sacrament is most important. I don't have kids yet, but I never pay any mind if someone makes noices, because I believe it's my responsability to be present regardless (and to those who can't help but be annoyed: consider it your act of mercy of the day to look with love at the "noisy" person). I wish people would cut parents some slack. We are all doing what we can already, and it is really beautiful seeing a family at mass.
We have four kids and I know it can get hard to take them to church, what have help me and my husband get motivated to keep taking our kids to mass is some of our people at church they will come over and tell our kids how good they were (when they did) and that made my husband and I thank the kids and recognize when they did great at church. We feel like the support of the other at church helps with parents not feeling guilty for bringing our kids. The kids also feel good when others at church recognize that they were there and they were “good” when they were paying attention.
I always found it valuable and helpful to take my son to daily Mass. He has a deep devotion to the Saints. We all benefit from frequenting the Sacraments. Parents can split Mass times and go to different Masses because we need to at least go to Mass. It is a prayer and sacrifice. The more often you take your children to Mass the better they get.
As a family with an active, almost 1yo, I just have to say thank you so very much for this video!!! It means so much hearing and being reminded we aren't the only ones going through these things!!! God Bless and Merry Christmas!!!
I wish to share some ideas adopted in our parish of the "Holy Family, Goa, India", and quite a few other parishes in Goa, India - On Sundays, we have the Children's Mass at 9:15 am (to allow kids catch some extra sleep) - 50% pews (front rows) are reserved for kids, so that even kids reaching late for mass are not deprived of seats, - with two Catechists managing each age group, starting 2 years upwards - couple of Catechists, go around to look of kids playing in the church premises during Children's Mass and encourage parents to get them in, - moms may accompany toddlers, below 3 years - before the mass, the names of all the kids celebrating their birthdays during the week are read out & prayed for during the mass. This adds excitement among kids about their names being called out & chocolates-candies shared after mass with the birthday song sung. It is a birthday celebration with the church family. - attendance of kids is recorded for Children's Mass every Sunday, to encourage parents to get their kids for mass & at the end of the year certificates / trophies are awarded to kids for regular attendance & good behaviour - homilies at Children's Mass is specially designed for kids with stories, skits or involving kids in some homily related Q & A, etc. - activities during homilies (like - draw something you would want to give Jesus or request from Jesus) - besides encouraging kids to sing aloud hymns along with the older children's choir, - encouraging kids (4 years & older) to participate in the "Prayers of the faithful", collection of "love offerings" - encouraging kids (even toddlers) participation in the offertory (like offering flowers, rosary, Bible,...) hope this helps.
I'll be honest, I love seeing and hearing children during mass. Yes, they are noisy and may irritate some people, but I get excited they're being teached the word of God directly from His home. They also develop the habit of making time for Church every Sunday. Like I can't wait to have my own children and teach them about God and take them to mass and have them grow up with the word of the Lord. I think its really important for children to get the habit of making time for God. But I guess I'll just realise how hard/easy that actually is when I get there. Beautiful video as per usual! You're a great inspiration and I can't wait to have a healthy and wholesome marriage like yours💛
Love your video very needed I have two boys and one on the way my boys are 4 and 3 and sometimes its really hard for them to be quite but i believe keep them going it will get better my parents were old-school and it was four girls almost all the same age if we talked we sat next to dad if we giggled we got a pinch..till this day we are all still going to mass and trying to educate our kids not with a pinch but by talking about the importance of being at the church usually my dad would tell us if we behaved we got to go to McDonald's now my kids get to go play at a park or I give them a treat when we get to the car
I think it’s good to bring children to Mass. My only squabble is with the parents who let their kids run rampant. That’s ridiculous. I worked as a daycare teacher for 12 years, so I do know that it is possible to get young children to behave.
Because of those looks and shame many families have abstained from going to church. I feel so happy when I see young families gling to mass... I always smile and bless them bec we know how difficult it is, like today... jeez... we have a 3yo and 5yo... they are/were respectively cared by nuns, so they have kind of a formation and still is a challenge.
I think that having different options to deal with our kids is using what it works better for us. Thanks a lot dear family. We also have a baby, David Sebastian, who is almost two and and half and we usually take him to children's Mass. I think this is helping because our baby really enjoys being with other kids and also because the Priest calls all the children to gather around in front of the altar to hear the Holy Gospel and the homily. God bless you and keep up with the great job :)
Had a little noisy one in church last Sunday. This is why we have a nursery for the littlest ones, and classes for the different ages while services are going on. We're allowed to bring kids into the services, but, I think they get a lot more out of learning God's Word at the right level. God bless the children.
My mom used to pinch me during mass when I was naughty. 👀 It’s good to hear that I don’t have to take my kids and that a saintly family did it! Hooray! My church has a cry room and we used it a lot for the same reasons this couple described. Some times it’s packed with people (and some without little children). Recently they started the “liturgy for children” and pull out an age group. Hang in there parents!
We take our daughter to mass with us every week since she can't get used to going if we don't take her. She's 18 months and usually pretty fine, but if she's being a bit rowdy and loud taking her into the narthex to let her run around a bit does the trick. Lucky we go to a parish with predominantly older parishioners, so no matter what she does they look at her like she's a perfect little angel.
Personally i am just a normal person in a normal parish. I think it is great that families pray and worship together. Most Church's have a cry room but it is rarely used. So i would ask if you have a young child please use that area. It is simple respect to those around you and it would be very much appreciated.
My 7 month old and 2 3/4 year old have not missed a mass since the Sunday after they were born. It is tough! But I love that my oldest can make it until almost to the consecration then I get the snacks out.... I am hoping this means they will be able to sit through mass when they receive communion. My husband works away a lot so it’s just me most Sundays. I wish the community was more understanding and took the approach my the priest who married us takes “the sounds of children in the church is the sound of a living parish”
I have 2 boys, the first one was easy. But the second one was very hard on us, now he is 2 and getting much better. One time I read an article that helped so much. It said going to church with kids is like a poor widow that gave the smallest amount with the biggest effort. So that's it, just try your best.
Thank you for acknowledging how HARD it is, not just to go with small kids but to be able to STAY with small kids! Our 4 year old is starting to understand and appreciate mass but our 3 year old is that nightmare of a child right now that screams “I don’t want to be here!” 🤦🏼♀️ I keep telling myself this phase shall pass....
My son has autism and it is sometimes painful for him to go to Mass! It's so overwhelming and overstimulating. Lent is the best time of year for him to go to Mass because there is calm and little sensory input. The rest of the year, he wears noise softening headphones and has a notebook to write in. It helps, but sometimes we have to spend the whole Mass in our tiny cry room. We are so blessed though that our church is so supportive of young families and especially those with special needs.
This was very encouraging! We have been bringing our almost 3 year old and 10 month old to mass every Sunday and I am still figuring out what works best for our family. I love seeing other young families at mass with us and I do my best to give them words of encouragement afterwards. Thanks for reminding us we are not alone in our efforts! God bless you guys :D
Thankfully we have a sound prof room at our Church and the children and be children. We have made friends with other parents who use the room. In fact sometimes there is more conversations around parenting than actual mass participation. If we can't support each other as a community how can we call ourselves Christian.
I agree with Bonnie. Also thank you for telling people that it's not required to bring the children to Mass when they're under 7. I wish I had known that when my kids were small. Unfortunately, I didn't take my kids or go to Mass much when they were little because my husband was not Catholic at the time. Whenever I see families with small children I am very thankful and un awe. I usually just smile at the babies that try to be helpful.
I have 5 kids ages from 12, 10, 8, 5 & 9months. We attend weekly mass together. We use to sit in the back but moved up front so kids can see. When you bring little kids to mass you may not always get to pay attention but every now and then your little one will yell "That's Jesus" as the tabernacle is opened and you feel like you won the lottery. When they are very little mine like playing with my credit cards even pass them out to those around me. When they can hold a book I would get them 3 or 4 that go along with mass or prayers or angels. We also pick out key points in mass to focus on: like standing shows honor so do it with pride, we call the tabernacle "the secret door" and have kids keep close eye on it when Jesus comes out, we have each kids hold money a dollar or even just a coin to put in the basket so they show their love of God by helping our church, little kids dont kneel for long bc they cant see( sometimes my little ones would kneel on seat to see), or remind them of friends and family to pray for when they are distracted. It does take a village and when I see a mom struggling I make sure to go up to them and say "Thank you for bringing your kids to church you are raising the next generation of catholics." We have all gotten the stink eye and the occasional comment of you should take them to the cry room. I always smile and tell them that I am raising the next generation and it is easier for you to move than it is for my big family. My older kids help out now but when I went to mass alone I would have friend sit in on side of isle so no one escaped.
I myself left the church crying today because an old lady couldn't stop but comment on how much my child's voice was getting on her nerves, and how bad my parenting is... I understand that everyone wants to listen to the homily comfortably when participating at the Mass and yet... parents really do their best with their little ones during the Mass, honestly. I hope none of those criticizing old ladies complain later that young people are so unfaithful - because it might be due to such reactions people not even get introduced to Christian faith.
"The sound of a crying baby is the sound of a growing church." YES! Yet another awesome video! I'm bringing my 4yo to Mass for the first time this upcoming Sunday (recent revert, and she's been asking). I made her a priest doll (with a removable chasuable so she can put on the appropriate color!). My thought is that she'll pay more attention to what's going on if she can imitate what the priest is doing with her dolly. We'll see how it goes! ⛪
One thing my parish has started doing that I like is that (for one of the priests at least) the homily is printed out on a paper so you can read along, which would enable the parent standing outside with a screaming child to still get the information at some point (admittedly this is being done because the priest has a heavy accent and is hard to understand, but... the effect is still there).
I recommend everyone work to get Catechism if the Good Shepherd in their parish. It will move the younger children to greater participation in the liturgy.
We have had a lot of great support from our Parish community when it comes to bringing our little ones to mass ( currently a 7 year old and 4 3-year olds). And I have to agree the “look” doesn’t help parents who know their kids are loud, however the side smile I get from one of our deacons (who also happens to be my boss Monday through Friday) makes a huge difference. And I know I am going to get an ear full from some for this one, but it is that season: so please remember the children’s Mass is for the CHILDREN not those looking for the earliest possible Mass or those who want to come and see the little ones. Keeping little ones under control for 1.5 - 2 hours before Mass just so the kids can sit or even see the sacrifice of the Mass, just makes them crazy during Mass itself.
If this helps, the bells that ring from the altar, in the older days, during transubstantiation, were to get everyone's attention that this was THE important part of the Mass, because in the 1500's the huge churches held 'everyone'--babies and children, who were being a joyful distraction. Truly catholic: everyone.
My wife and I have four children - now the oldest is 15 and the youngest is 5, so we rarely in the cry-room these days. And thankfully, our parish is not 'stink-faced' about young children. And all children and families are different, so there is no 'one size fits all' suggestion -- but for my family, we just really tried to emphasize to our kids outside of Mass, how important Mass really is I think kids can grasp more than we give them credit for a lot of times. We would tell them 'you can easily watch cartoons for longer than an hour and not go crazy' (they would nod) - 'and God is the most important thing in our lives' (very reasonable) - 'so one hour at Mass is a small thing to give to God'... Stuff like that, and they mostly sit still and behave. I love it!
My daughter is in first grade and just starting CCD. They require the kids to go to mass every Sunday and every day of holy obligation. Obviously for the first graders it’s before their first holy communion. So I bring all 3 of my kids (6,4 and 1 😅) sometimes by myself 😭 definitely not easy. Our old parish used to have a cry room which I loved but our new parish doesn’t! My mom thinks it’s a good thing so we teach the kids how to behave in mass and so they can see exactly how mass is. I like the idea of the age of reason though because really, they have no idea and I’m worried it could be a turn off for them.
Back when people reproduced to the tune of at least 3 children, it was the norm that the whole family went to mass and basically the children made some very minor noise and only when it got disruptive did you take the kid out to the vestibule for a walk and came back when they quieted down - there were no "cry rooms" and in fact such things put pressure on families to not bring children or to always banish them to the evil "cry room". If people reproduced as God intended everybody would understand because everybody was in the same situation but the self-inflicted birth dearth has made for an un-family friendly church in many many places and makes families way too self-conscious about children. Besides it helps make priests more humble when the sermon gets over-ridden by the same noise Christ made in the Temple that in that case, guess what - only the truly spiritual ones head the Savior, and he made the same noise for everyone. Chereerios, small toys, coloring books, let the kid sit on the kneeler and use the pew for a table when old enough, bring bottles, pacifier or whatever according to age, if you have enough children the older ones can oversee the younger at mass and assist around the home, assign responsibilities as they grow. I do not believe in the "Children's liturgy where some pied piper parades them out to where they can go listen to dummied down Gospel tripe and bring you back a picture of some odd thing afterward. All that does is train children to leave mass, the mass is a whole family thing, not just for children of a certain age. By the way the Saint parents you mentioned -European churched frequently had NO pews -were unheated, no kneelers, and NO amplified sermons and the Latin mass was and is very very quiet since it was invented before loud speakers. So, times change and we have brother amplification and sister loud speaker and worst of all amplified bad music played not-infrequently on piano. So frankly if I were a kid, I would definitely scream - just because - in which case, if the scream is disruptive and on-going - you take a walk with the kid. If however the scream is over some loud crappy music with a hymn with "updated words" (the kind that allow a new copyright), in those cases I would encourage the kid to scream because it is the lesser evil - just say'n. I love masses where the whole family is there - -Jesus said to LET THEM COME AND DO NOT HINDER THEM!!!!!! If ever they needed to be at mass and we needed them to be there it is this GODLESS age where one in three of them never get a chance to live at all. God bless the children and all the families that dare to have all that God sends - My mother was 7 of 7, my father 10 of 11 - were my grandparents selfish I and my children would not be here..
I agree with all of this! I wish I had had it earlier because my daughter is 3.5 and doing much better, but taking her to mass was miserable for those first couple years and I felt sinful when I didn’t have it in me to go or take her. So much confessional time over that and no one even said it was okay. Seminarian day sounds brilliant!!!! As a side note, I wish that people ever addressed faithful Catholic single parents. It would not have been hard to include us in the list of “spouse in the military, emergency services, etc.” We’re invisible in the Church. Everyone addresses single persons and parents separately as if there wasn’t an overlap there. It would be nice to be included. Thanks for all you do!
Madison - I think you are doing a great job. Even when you feel invisible or excluded you are still trying to do the right thing. May God's grace be with you always.
With 9 kids we have done everything! But we make an effort to go into church after mass and kneel before the tablernacle and say “Thank you and Goodby”! We have taught our kids that you never leave someone’s house without saying goodby. This makes being in church a little less intense. And makes them realize that this is “Jesus” house that we are welcome to come to.
We bribe! We have a 4yr old and an almost 2 year old. I’m not above bribery. Lol. Suckers/donuts/tv time.... it has helped. We’ve never had stink i from people but I always worry my kids are annoying to people. I had an older gentleman one time after mass (after I had apologized for my kids being so loud) and he said “if I didn’t want kids in my church service I wouldn’t be catholic”. That really stuck out to me. ❤️
We have 5 children 1 year apart and 1 teenager who helps us alot, when we get to mass i keep with me my wife 2 and our oldes 1... we seat separately and it helps, they make more noise when we all seat togheter
I have three girls under 5 years old. Some days they are good, other days are a disaster. I do try to read ahead so that I am familiar with the readings already and can piece together the homily better if I'm distracted with the kids. I also find bringing colouring books helpful. I find my children can only focus for 20-30 minutes max so distractions is key for a 1 hour mass.
In many other parts of the world kids acting like kids aren't seen as a nuisance. This view of ours might actually reflect on us and what we require of others.
It may be tough to bring little kids to mass but i don't agree with leaving them home until they're old enough to 'reason '. My brother and i were taken to sunday mass ever since we were born!(i even have precious memories of being at mass as a toddler).... building faith begins very early... kids pick up things from a very young age. Leaving them home until they're old enough to receive holy communion would mean loosing valuable years of building their faith and forming memories that last a lifetime.
I loved what was said "a crying baby is a growing church"! Or something of that sort lol...I have 7 and I have been through most of what was mentioned but I came to realization that 1) some ppl that make comments or stare haven't had kids, 2) if they did they must have forgotten what it was like to struggle with kids at mass since their kids are more than likely grown, 3) or are just grumpy ppl that have not companion for others. It is up to us parents to show and lead our children to Jesus so we can not let others keep us from doing that. When we are before God and He asks us what we did with our kids to lead them to Him, the excuse of " well You see I was taking them to mass but then ppl started making me feel uncomfortable cause my kids weren't behaving" is not going to be excusable 😁
I am the mom of 4 kids and my third is two. She is SOOOOOO hard to deal with during mass. Defiant, doesn’t want to sit still, screams, fights us. It’s so stressful. My husband sings during mass and there are times I want to just load up and leave! Today was particularly bad 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Great video. Parents shouldn't be afraid of bringing their children to mass. What's worked for me is: 1) Get the kids accustomed to being at mass. Go every week from the very beginning of their lives. It is going to be hard at for the first few months but practice makes perfect (especially for kids). As they grow into toddlers there will be different challenges but as they learn that this is part of their "routine" and they will calm down. Then once they have mastered being quiet during the mass they can learn when to sit, stand, kneel. 2) If you don't have kids, be considerate as they said in the video. Jesus loves when children come to him. Encourage and be patient with those with small children. On the other side of that if you have small children and can't quiet or calm them down rather quickly be considerate of others as well. 3) Talk to you kids about the mass and the faith. Help them develop their love and appreciation for the mass.
As hard and frightening as this may sound, sit on the first row or as close to the altar as possible with your children. Seeing what’s going on gets children interested and involved in Mass. I had an extremely active young one a long time ago & it truly worked for him. Just a thought
Cry room is NOT to be a loud "play room" - it is a place where children can be taught, have coloring book or quiet toys. It is not easy but with five years between my sons - but we were fortunate to go as a couple majority Of time. Some cry rooms are for parents that refuse to discipline - Bobs joke was so true!! I always smile and congratulate parents for how difficult to get children out to church and how it gives me hope. Also, when children are 3-4 compliment when they are doing right thing.......DO NOT encourage parents to wait until 6 years old. TRY A CAMPUS MINISTRY OR FAMILY MASS...... If it is a fighting match, they will fall away as teens or as soon as they leave house...... keep the faith --- my son and daughter-law church shopped after buying their home and Christmas eve I go with my 4 and 22 mo grandchildren ;) i am so impressed and each time I m with them I do something they don't get to do with parents. After mass - do you want to see the cross up close ( altar server cross)--- he now knows - only when Grandma is with us LOL...... He will probably bring me to see BABY JESUS in the stable like Jan 2017 when i was there...... 😀 Don't give up. Invite another couple with older children to go with you.....the young ones love to imitate but make sure with parents who parent lol....my son once said my parish family mass was romper room with a priest hahaha - for you young ones,l,.Romper room was a tv show....anyone over 40 would remember!!!
I have two sons ages 1 and 4 and we are going to mass for the first time this Sunday (Easter) my husband and I are trying to become catholic but have never gone to mass. We are coming from the protestant church where there is a nursery for babies and a class for my 4 year old. I'm very nervous!
Kids at mass is awesome. I only wish parents would actively teach their kids to cover their mouth(s) when they cough and sneeze. I rarely ever even see parents try (no matter what the age of their kids) and it always puzzles me. Other than that, I love when everyone brings their kiddos to church. Kids can be very entertaining with their antics during mass 😂
What is your opinion regarding eastern Catholics because in the eastern church you receive first communion and confirmation when you are baptized. Not bringing them would be denying them communion. The Divine Liturgy is structured differently allowing movement by the lay people and probably more engagement by young children.
I'm from a country where a lot of the churches are very old and so adding a cry room on would take a lot more work compared to more modern churches, any tips on how to work around this?
I can see when parents are in distress and struggle, people are usually quite understanding in such situations. But when you see them NOT strugging, but letting their children terrorize all church, priest included, letting them run in all directions, scream and talk loudly - not incidently, but on regular basis? It doeas happen. And if ou would comment, you're not supportive and you don't know what it's like to have children. You just don't love, you're mean and you don't know that Jesus said "Let the little children come to me". Or maybe He said "Let the little children run, scream and disturb everyone, since they aren't aware I'm dying this very moment on the cross"? Where is the line?
As a second grade teacher who prepares seven and eight-year-olds for First Communion, I couldn't disagree more about not taking your kids to Mass until then. Maybe they don't need to go from ages one to four or five, but I think it's very important that they have a couple years of Mass attendance before receiving Communion to experience what they're doing before they are thrust into the Sacrament.
Just this past Sunday my 2 year-old boy threw a king sized tantrum at communion time. I picked him up and began approaching the altar for communion when he started crying, yelling "no, no, no!" And trying to get away from me. I didn't know what to do. I thought about peeling off and heading out the side door, but I ended up recieving Our Lord. It felt wrong to me, trying to prayerfully approach the sacrament being agitated with a 2 year-old in tow in the midst of a full-out meltdown. I was embarrassed. After recieving I immediately took him out to the car where we waited until my wife and other child came out after mass was completed. Our parish is large, and does not have a cry room. That is the first time I have ever left mass before the final blessing. Does anybody have any advice about how I could have better handled the situation?
For me my children are RARELY noisy at mass. My secret? Well, for younger toddlers age 1-4 Before mass I let them engage in very energetic activities so when we go to mass they would be too tired to make noise. Also, we sit at the FRONT PEW. By age 5 children will develop an understanding of what the mass is when you sit at the front pew. My eldest is 6 years old now and she participates, and also does not make noise during mass. She is well behaved.
Lol love this! I have 4 kids. An 11yr old, 10 yr old, 7 yr old, and 2yr old. So, I've gotten the "stank" look many times. I just laugh about it now. I used to get super mad but I guess I'm more immune now. Cry rooms are great but I feel like my kids behave worse in there!
Bring the children to mass! It is interesting that St Therese's family did not always bring their children before the age of reason. However, in those days, maybe there wouldn't have been public restrooms for little bladders? No place to change diapers? I have 4 boys under 8. We attend the Latin Mass. The best preparation for Mass is to say the rosary with them at home everyday. That provides daily practice for quiet behavior and staying in one place for 15-20min. Even a child around two can start to stay in one place for the rosary (for example, a rug) In church, quiet books, quiet coloring. Don't make being outside of mass (basement or crying room) a fun recess. If a child is loud enough to be taken out, then they shouldn't be rewarded with playtime. It sends the message that screaming or misbehaving is a ticket out of mass. And for having an extra set of hands, pop on a baby carrier. It definitely helps
@J M how do you encourage your small children and spouse to pray the rosary? I would love that. But both of my little girls leave within the 1st mystery and my husband is not very keen to even start praying it... Thank you for your wisdom
Sandra M I must admit that we did not say the rosary regularly for the first few years of marriage. However, we came from families who prayed it daily and we both wanted to do it. Eventually, we agreed that my husband would say it on his own and I would do it with the children during the work week. If it is just too much, a decade a day is a great place to start. You could also try using TH-cam videos of the rosary (it definitely helps the kids and adults focus)! There are ones with pictures and ones with videos th-cam.com/play/PL5N6jkJl0oHnr8nT9fxKs0WE6z7bYoI-y.html Having the expectation that the rosary is a part of the child's day, just like sitting at the table for a meal or listening nicely to a story book, can come with consistency. Using books that have pictures of the decades, or lighting a candle during the rosary that they get to blow out at the end, can add some interest to it. I hope that helps give some idea.
I never though of not bringing them. The whole family goes together. We don't bring anything, they just have to participate. We found even a book, or stuffed Jesus made a bigger chaos, it was just easier to bring nothing. I have only had priest encourage children/babies to come. Some even closed their cry rooms or daycare so the toddlers would be in Mass with their families.
Excuse me: You don't have to bring your children to Mass until they are old enough to receive the Holy Communion (that is, until they reach "the age of reason")? How are they going to learn the discipline and devotion required for attending the Mass? These have to be developed at a very young age, via modeling their own parents (or any other father/mother figure for that matter). By the time children receive their Holy Communion - at the age of eight, on average, and at the earliest - it may be already too late. Is it any wonder, then, that most kids never go back to Church after they receive their Holy Communion?
Rolando E. Díaz Olivo, M.D. this is exactly why we don’t send our kids to children’s liturgy. How will they learn if they are in a classroom colouring for 7 years of sundays
Hello! It think that the discipline and devotion are to be developed during their whole childhood wether or not they are at Mass. I believe that children don’t go back because of bad parenting, not because they were or weren’t brought to Mass. As they mentioned from the only married saints: they brought them I; some occasions but not EVERY Sunday. I do see your point don’t get me wrong, but si genuinely believe that discipline and devotion are taught all the time with kids. God Bless you!
Just so I'm clear...is the cry room for the kids or for the parents? But in all honesty, this was good to hear. I have been feeling guilty about leaving our son in child care. I know it's a benefit to him to be in the church but sometimes it's nice for my wife and I to enjoy some peace and contemplative moments in mass. That being said, we're also usually thinking about him most of the time and worried we are going to get called over to the child care room because he hasn't stopped crying. The whole point is to just try and don't stop trying. Shrug off the stink faces and the little voice in your head causing you unnecessary anxiety. I'm comforted to know it's a season in life and they will benefit greatly later when they comprehend what's going on.
As a single guy with no kids, I love seeing and hearing children at Mass. I had a priest say "yes! Sing out to Jesus!" when a child yelled out in the middle of his homily. Ever since then, every time a child yells out, I can't help but smile.
Robert_MN lol 😂
Same
At the ages of 7 and 10, our boys would fidget, argue and be noisy during mass. They were being normal boys but my husband and I found it difficult to concentrate and pray. So.....we sent them to the front -to be altar boys. Now they truly, actively participate in the celebration and my husband and I can attend mass in peace!
Thats funny, and a good way to build faith and discipline.
Liane As long as you keep a open dialogue with your kids and can trust the priests with them
@@erinbecker4057 That's not the truth, they were tragedies. To say that every priest would abuse a child is as ignorant to say that every parent is abusive, or that everyone is a murder. Grouping an entire group of men that way is also incredibly sexist and shows no respect for human dignity. The actions of one person never reflect on another. Just as you wouldn't say because one black or Hispanic man murdered or committed some other heinous crime, you would never say that every single man of those communities would do the same. Obviously, this logic is incredibly flawed in this setting and every other, but you don't want to answer to that. I don't speak out of anger nor to insult you in any way, but seriously it's childish to state this logical fallacy against a freaking mother talking about bringing her child to mass. Overall, incredibly inappropriate to do to a parent and against these good men.
@@burningroses2399 I agree with you in a lot of ways, however, the unfortunate reality is, priests, bishops, Cardinals, even Popes have lost trust with the faithful, and like it or not, I think, that right now, in this moment, you shouldn’t just believe everything that comes out of a man’s mouth just because he is wearing a cassock, Whether that cassock is black, red… or white. I don’t think every priest is a molester, but at the bare minimum, you should be wary of what they say.
We bring our 1.5 yo and 3yo to Mass every Sunday and have brought them since they were a few weeks old. We bring various noise free toys. Luckily our church priests and congregation are quite supportive. For the occasional stink face/stinky remark, I just say, "Jesus said to bring the children to Him, so take it up with Jesus"! Hahaha. God bless you and your family.
😄 I love this...comment I'm going to have to copy it from you.😉😊
Good one! ☺️
We've taken every one of our 4 kids to mass every Sunday. What's worked for us:
STEP 1: Consistency. Go to mass on a regular basis.
STEP 2: Sit up front as close as possible so they can SEE what's going on.
STEP 3: Don't use snacks or tons of toys.
STEP 4: If they start whining, do what you can to distract them with something. Funny faces, tickles, etc.
STEP 5: If the whining turns into crying, get up, and walk to the back of the church. This is normally enough to calm them down until the next part of mass. Then go sit back down.
STEP 6: Know that YOU will be distracted during mass. Read the readings ahead of time. TRY to listen to the homily if you can.
Us too! :-)
Stephen Nesbit bwahaha this is what my parents did and is a perfect recipe for raising kids who leave the church. Just accept that mass is boring and irrelevant to children and most adults
Yes - agreed 100% with Stephen. We did and do just this and I think our kids (7&9) are better and more engaged in Mass bc we took them regularly and sit close.
@@kerrid5717 Our 18yo daughter went through confirmation. Our 8yo son loves church. Our 7yo daughter has no complaints. Our 19mo son is... well, a toddler. And our baby due in 3 weeks will be raised the same.
Sorry your experience was so different. Maybe it was the parish or priests...?
@@kerrid5717 I am sorry that your parent's children left the church. I am a cradle Catholic who 'was made' to go to mass every week along with my other siblings. I have never left the church; not even during my rebellious years. My kids know that we go to mass every week. My son is passionate about altar serving, and the toddler is usually good until the homily where we walk around the sanctuary.
I pray that your siblings return home one day.
As an older parishioner in a small parish, I absolutely LOVE young children in Mass! The sound is joyful to me. Merry Christmas!!
Thank God for people like you who understand because their is some who...don't and will be very rude to us parents.
Although the kids are not bound the kids really build on what they experience, even when little. I heard a very young voice behind me last week at mass, saying the Lord's Prayer, it was a pleasure and a blessing.
What made me feel a lot better about the noises my son would make was someone saying that a quiet church is a dead church. I love hearing all the kids at mass, they are the future of the church!
Amen 🙏 to that.
My husband and I found that, the closer we are to the front of church where they can see the priest and not someone’s backside the better they do because they can focus on what’s happening better. I’m happy to see young children in the pews even if they want everyone’s attention. Thanks for the witness!
"If your church doesn't have crying kids, your church is dying!"
Yea but we're trying 2 hear
@@class.C Being patient with the kiddos crying will help sanctify you through the virtue of patience. Even better offer your services to parents with kids- charity. Bam sainthood ;)
I second the trying to hear part 😂
As a mother of littles I really appreciate you please forgive us families we are trying our best 🙏🏻❤️
@@Totoro-in-the-TARDIS Im not at mass to practice patience. Im there to offer up myself for the reparation of sins for those sick and dying and those suffering in purgatory.
I'm single with no kids and I love hearing kids and babies during mass. And if a child starts to get fussy I ask the Blessed Mother and the angels to come and play with or distract the child to quiet them down. Never fails!
I’ve dealt with both sides. At one church the Priest was so sweet and addressed the entire congregation after a particularly loud mass (my toddler wasn’t the only one making noise 😅) about how great it was to hear the sounds of children and how it reminded him of Christ saying “let the little children come to me”. He went on to say “I’m sure many of you remember when your children were that age and how difficult it was at times so let’s thank these parents for choosing to bring their little ones to mass”. I’ll never forget that. ❤️ At the church we’re currently at, I do my best to keep our son inside with me and remind him that “Jesus is watching” when he starts to get too loud or unruly. He really loves Jesus and this usually works... but when it doesn’t I’ll take him out for a few minutes and then try to go back in. This past Sunday I was Cantor so my husband had him alone which he isn’t really used to and ended up taking him out to the narthex where another father was trying to wrangle his toddler while holding his little baby because mom was home sick. Someone who considers himself “security” went so far as to scold both my husband and this other father for not keeping the kids quiet enough and told the other father that he “should just stay home” next time. 😱 My husband was so upset... we are planning to address this with the priest as I’m sure these are not his wishes. It can be very difficult to focus on the mass with littles and I understand wanting to leave them home. If you’re able to, Great. Personally, I find that our son does better the more he attends so we will keep bringing him weekly but if we have another and maybe have to switch off... we will figure it out. Although it’s not mandatory that they go, I think it’s good for them to be there and I try to encourage other parents who are trying like us to expose our young children to the beauty of the mass. It’s so much easier when we help each other rather than judge.
In my parish we have a mass for children all sundays.
In that mass the catechist have a reserved seat with the kids and he/she would explain them what is happening in each moment and what is the correct posture each time. The first year is kind of rough but it gets better.
The older children (8 to 10) will be in charge of certain parts in the mass (for example the petitions, I don't know if that is how do you say it in english, sorry) and the oldest (from 10 to 17) will read the first, second lecture and psalm. Finally our chorus is componed by all the kids who whant to participate (our youngest is a 2yo), being helped by our young guitarrist and vocalist (also parents and catechists)
That mass is especially made for the kids, people knows it and that's why nobody gets mad for a scream or two. It's so cool to see so many little kids with their families.
We needed to get creative because our parish doesn't have a cry room, maybe if we had one things would be diferent.
I feel vey luky to have this mass 😄
Sorry for the looooong coment and for the mistakes, english is my second languaje 😳
That is a wonderful idea. I wish more parishes had this. Your English is really good.
I love this!
I always love seeing babies and children at mass. Sometimes they get a bit loud but then I have to remember I was a kid too.
Cool topic. We had 9 children. All went to mass with us on Sunday’s and holy days. At our Ukrainian Catholic Church mass was from an hour and a half to 2 hours. Around the time of the sermon there was a children’s program downstairs till communion. Was beautiful. Our priest loved the sound of baby’s and toddlers as it made the church alive. Let the children come. Thankyou for all you guys do. Love you.
I' Rememberon my children with little . They couldn't stay still In mass My wife was frustrated They were so wiggly . But we had to have patience . People around us He'd show patients No one said anything
That's the way I look at it Since my children are bigger now when I ever heard a baby crying I have compassion.
These children are the church of the future.I personally took my four children to mass all the time,from day one.It was challenging.I was anxious about them making noise and fidgeting.I had previously never bothered about children in church making noise etc. it was always part of the backdrop.
Now there are very few children at mass in many churches.
We have no guarantee of tomorrow.Deferring taking them to mass until they reach the age of reason etc. is presumptive of your future opportunities.Besides, small children absorb things that we do not fully appreciate.Immersing them in church attendance and liturgy is a good routine and learning experience.Keep up the good work.
Yea no... They are the present of the church. They are the now
Great video! There will always be people that judge and complain, but parents need to do what’s best for them and their families. My children are not going to act like other’s children and vice versa. Each family is unique and will have different struggles. Each family has different circumstances, so just because something may work for one family, doesn’t guarantee it will for another. In the end, we are all seeking to follow Jesus.
Agreed with a LOT of what you say. I COMPLETELY agree with others not giving the eye or making rude comments (priests included). Be supportive! With our 7 kids, we've learned to lower our standards. A priest friend told us the grace of the sacrament is there, with or without your perfect attention. Also, know when to take your child out because the child doesn't know they are being loud, but the adults do. Try, but if it's a losing cause, wave the white flag and step out. Be respectful to the others in the church if you want them to be respectful to you. I do believe there is value of bringing your kiddos to church below the age of reason. Grace flows from the sacrament at any age. As our kids became older, if our younger ones act up and we can't get them quiet, our older kids take them out and walk with them either in the cry room or just outside the body of the church. Know that it does get better and those kids who give you a dose of humility in church now will make you proud in church very soon.
We have 4 children 7, 5, 3, and 2. I totally know what you are going through! We tried so many things. Sitting in the front, the cry room, snacks, toys, you name it! What I found has helped is taking my kids to adoration with me. It helped teach them to be quiet for an extended period of time. We talk about Jesus and Mary. We can pray together or talk about catechism. It was rough at first but now they are able to recognize this is the Lord's house. Our priest is very pro children thankfully! Every parent with small children is in my prayers!
We used to bring snacks, toys and books to mass but for us and our particular kids we found that by the time we had 3 kids toys and snacks weren’t helpful. They became a source of fighting and drama. So we stopped, but I don’t think it’s bad to do if it’s helpful.
We sit in the middle of the second row so that kids can see really well but can’t escape because there are always people on either side of us. 😂
We give our kids lots of freedom in the row to walk and move around but if we take them out they lose all freedom and are held the entire time. This helps make being in the row the best choice for the kid who wants to move. I read this suggestion years ago and it was extremely helpful for us.
We currently have a 7.5, 6, 3.5 and 1 year old kids and have a lot of success with consistently taking our kids to church but on occasion we do leave them. Do what works, do your best and just keep trying. It’s worth it!!
Hey, you can always read an online homily after (or before). Being there at mass, even distracted, already brings grace, and the sacrament is most important.
I don't have kids yet, but I never pay any mind if someone makes noices, because I believe it's my responsability to be present regardless (and to those who can't help but be annoyed: consider it your act of mercy of the day to look with love at the "noisy" person).
I wish people would cut parents some slack. We are all doing what we can already, and it is really beautiful seeing a family at mass.
We have four kids and I know it can get hard to take them to church, what have help me and my husband get motivated to keep taking our kids to mass is some of our people at church they will come over and tell our kids how good they were (when they did) and that made my husband and I thank the kids and recognize when they did great at church. We feel like the support of the other at church helps with parents not feeling guilty for bringing our kids. The kids also feel good when others at church recognize that they were there and they were “good” when they were paying attention.
I always found it valuable and helpful to take my son to daily Mass. He has a deep devotion to the Saints. We all benefit from frequenting the Sacraments. Parents can split Mass times and go to different Masses because we need to at least go to Mass. It is a prayer and sacrifice. The more often you take your children to Mass the better they get.
As a family with an active, almost 1yo, I just have to say thank you so very much for this video!!! It means so much hearing and being reminded we aren't the only ones going through these things!!! God Bless and Merry Christmas!!!
I wish to share some ideas adopted in our parish of the "Holy Family, Goa, India", and quite a few other parishes in Goa, India
- On Sundays, we have the Children's Mass at 9:15 am (to allow kids catch some extra sleep)
- 50% pews (front rows) are reserved for kids, so that even kids reaching late for mass are not deprived of seats,
- with two Catechists managing each age group, starting 2 years upwards
- couple of Catechists, go around to look of kids playing in the church premises during Children's Mass and encourage parents to get them in,
- moms may accompany toddlers, below 3 years
- before the mass, the names of all the kids celebrating their birthdays during the week are read out & prayed for during the mass. This adds excitement among kids about their names being called out & chocolates-candies shared after mass with the birthday song sung. It is a birthday celebration with the church family.
- attendance of kids is recorded for Children's Mass every Sunday, to encourage parents to get their kids for mass & at the end of the year certificates / trophies are awarded to kids for regular attendance & good behaviour
- homilies at Children's Mass is specially designed for kids with stories, skits or involving kids in some homily related Q & A, etc.
- activities during homilies (like - draw something you would want to give Jesus or request from Jesus)
- besides encouraging kids to sing aloud hymns along with the older children's choir,
- encouraging kids (4 years & older) to participate in the "Prayers of the faithful", collection of "love offerings"
- encouraging kids (even toddlers) participation in the offertory (like offering flowers, rosary, Bible,...)
hope this helps.
Thank you for sharing
I'll be honest, I love seeing and hearing children during mass. Yes, they are noisy and may irritate some people, but I get excited they're being teached the word of God directly from His home. They also develop the habit of making time for Church every Sunday.
Like I can't wait to have my own children and teach them about God and take them to mass and have them grow up with the word of the Lord. I think its really important for children to get the habit of making time for God. But I guess I'll just realise how hard/easy that actually is when I get there.
Beautiful video as per usual! You're a great inspiration and I can't wait to have a healthy and wholesome marriage like yours💛
“The sound of a crying baby is the sound of a growing church”
That was BEAUTIFUL! ❤️
Love your video very needed I have two boys and one on the way my boys are 4 and 3 and sometimes its really hard for them to be quite but i believe keep them going it will get better my parents were old-school and it was four girls almost all the same age if we talked we sat next to dad if we giggled we got a pinch..till this day we are all still going to mass and trying to educate our kids not with a pinch but by talking about the importance of being at the church usually my dad would tell us if we behaved we got to go to McDonald's now my kids get to go play at a park or I give them a treat when we get to the car
Thank you guys for all the great videos you post. GOD BLESS AND MERRY CHRISTMAS 🕇🌹🌼🕇
I think it’s good to bring children to Mass. My only squabble is with the parents who let their kids run rampant. That’s ridiculous. I worked as a daycare teacher for 12 years, so I do know that it is possible to get young children to behave.
Thank you! It's always god to hear that my wife and I aren't the only ones going through these trials on a weekly basis.
Because of those looks and shame many families have abstained from going to church. I feel so happy when I see young families gling to mass... I always smile and bless them bec we know how difficult it is, like today... jeez... we have a 3yo and 5yo... they are/were respectively cared by nuns, so they have kind of a formation and still is a challenge.
I think that having different options to deal with our kids is using what it works better for us. Thanks a lot dear family. We also have a baby, David Sebastian, who is almost two and and half and we usually take him to children's Mass. I think this is helping because our baby really enjoys being with other kids and also because the Priest calls all the children to gather around in front of the altar to hear the Holy Gospel and the homily. God bless you and keep up with the great job :)
Had a little noisy one in church last Sunday. This is why we have a nursery for the littlest ones, and classes for the different ages while services are going on. We're allowed to bring kids into the services, but, I think they get a lot more out of learning God's Word at the right level. God bless the children.
My mom used to pinch me during mass when I was naughty. 👀
It’s good to hear that I don’t have to take my kids and that a saintly family did it! Hooray!
My church has a cry room and we used it a lot for the same reasons this couple described. Some times it’s packed with people (and some without little children).
Recently they started the “liturgy for children” and pull out an age group.
Hang in there parents!
We take our daughter to mass with us every week since she can't get used to going if we don't take her. She's 18 months and usually pretty fine, but if she's being a bit rowdy and loud taking her into the narthex to let her run around a bit does the trick. Lucky we go to a parish with predominantly older parishioners, so no matter what she does they look at her like she's a perfect little angel.
Personally i am just a normal person in a normal parish. I think it is great that families pray and worship together. Most Church's have a cry room but it is rarely used. So i would ask if you have a young child please use that area. It is simple respect to those around you and it would be very much appreciated.
My 7 month old and 2 3/4 year old have not missed a mass since the Sunday after they were born. It is tough! But I love that my oldest can make it until almost to the consecration then I get the snacks out.... I am hoping this means they will be able to sit through mass when they receive communion.
My husband works away a lot so it’s just me most Sundays. I wish the community was more understanding and took the approach my the priest who married us takes “the sounds of children in the church is the sound of a living parish”
Melissa and Doug Water Wow pads are great to occupy little ones!
I have 2 boys, the first one was easy. But the second one was very hard on us, now he is 2 and getting much better. One time I read an article that helped so much. It said going to church with kids is like a poor widow that gave the smallest amount with the biggest effort. So that's it, just try your best.
Thank you for acknowledging how HARD it is, not just to go with small kids but to be able to STAY with small kids! Our 4 year old is starting to understand and appreciate mass but our 3 year old is that nightmare of a child right now that screams “I don’t want to be here!” 🤦🏼♀️ I keep telling myself this phase shall pass....
My son has autism and it is sometimes painful for him to go to Mass! It's so overwhelming and overstimulating. Lent is the best time of year for him to go to Mass because there is calm and little sensory input. The rest of the year, he wears noise softening headphones and has a notebook to write in. It helps, but sometimes we have to spend the whole Mass in our tiny cry room. We are so blessed though that our church is so supportive of young families and especially those with special needs.
That's unfortunate. I'll pray that there is a way for everything to work out. I'm saddened by that. God bless
This was very encouraging! We have been bringing our almost 3 year old and 10 month old to mass every Sunday and I am still figuring out what works best for our family. I love seeing other young families at mass with us and I do my best to give them words of encouragement afterwards. Thanks for reminding us we are not alone in our efforts! God bless you guys :D
Thankfully we have a sound prof room at our Church and the children and be children. We have made friends with other parents who use the room. In fact sometimes there is more conversations around parenting than actual mass participation. If we can't support each other as a community how can we call ourselves Christian.
Why are people disliking this video?
I agree with Bonnie. Also thank you for telling people that it's not required to bring the children to Mass when they're under 7. I wish I had known that when my kids were small. Unfortunately, I didn't take my kids or go to Mass much when they were little because my husband was not Catholic at the time. Whenever I see families with small children I am very thankful and un awe. I usually just smile at the babies that try to be helpful.
Thanks again
Amen
I have 5 kids ages from 12, 10, 8, 5 & 9months. We attend weekly mass together. We use to sit in the back but moved up front so kids can see. When you bring little kids to mass you may not always get to pay attention but every now and then your little one will yell "That's Jesus" as the tabernacle is opened and you feel like you won the lottery.
When they are very little mine like playing with my credit cards even pass them out to those around me. When they can hold a book I would get them 3 or 4 that go along with mass or prayers or angels. We also pick out key points in mass to focus on: like standing shows honor so do it with pride, we call the tabernacle "the secret door" and have kids keep close eye on it when Jesus comes out, we have each kids hold money a dollar or even just a coin to put in the basket so they show their love of God by helping our church, little kids dont kneel for long bc they cant see( sometimes my little ones would kneel on seat to see), or remind them of friends and family to pray for when they are distracted. It does take a village and when I see a mom struggling I make sure to go up to them and say "Thank you for bringing your kids to church you are raising the next generation of catholics." We have all gotten the stink eye and the occasional comment of you should take them to the cry room. I always smile and tell them that I am raising the next generation and it is easier for you to move than it is for my big family. My older kids help out now but when I went to mass alone I would have friend sit in on side of isle so no one escaped.
I myself left the church crying today because an old lady couldn't stop but comment on how much my child's voice was getting on her nerves, and how bad my parenting is... I understand that everyone wants to listen to the homily comfortably when participating at the Mass and yet... parents really do their best with their little ones during the Mass, honestly. I hope none of those criticizing old ladies complain later that young people are so unfaithful - because it might be due to such reactions people not even get introduced to Christian faith.
"The sound of a crying baby is the sound of a growing church." YES! Yet another awesome video! I'm bringing my 4yo to Mass for the first time this upcoming Sunday (recent revert, and she's been asking). I made her a priest doll (with a removable chasuable so she can put on the appropriate color!). My thought is that she'll pay more attention to what's going on if she can imitate what the priest is doing with her dolly. We'll see how it goes! ⛪
One thing my parish has started doing that I like is that (for one of the priests at least) the homily is printed out on a paper so you can read along, which would enable the parent standing outside with a screaming child to still get the information at some point (admittedly this is being done because the priest has a heavy accent and is hard to understand, but... the effect is still there).
I recommend everyone work to get Catechism if the Good Shepherd in their parish. It will move the younger children to greater participation in the liturgy.
I agree don't give in the stereo look when your kids are not behaving I have three kids and we went through that .
We have had a lot of great support from our Parish community when it comes to bringing our little ones to mass ( currently a 7 year old and 4 3-year olds). And I have to agree the “look” doesn’t help parents who know their kids are loud, however the side smile I get from one of our deacons (who also happens to be my boss Monday through Friday) makes a huge difference.
And I know I am going to get an ear full from some for this one, but it is that season: so please remember the children’s Mass is for the CHILDREN not those looking for the earliest possible Mass or those who want to come and see the little ones. Keeping little ones under control for 1.5 - 2 hours before Mass just so the kids can sit or even see the sacrifice of the Mass, just makes them crazy during Mass itself.
If this helps, the bells that ring from the altar, in the older days, during transubstantiation, were to get everyone's attention that this was THE important part of the Mass, because in the 1500's the huge churches held 'everyone'--babies and children, who were being a joyful distraction. Truly catholic: everyone.
“the sound of a crying baby at mass is the sound of a growing Church” -bobby angel
My wife and I have four children - now the oldest is 15 and the youngest is 5, so we rarely in the cry-room these days. And thankfully, our parish is not 'stink-faced' about young children. And all children and families are different, so there is no 'one size fits all' suggestion -- but for my family, we just really tried to emphasize to our kids outside of Mass, how important Mass really is I think kids can grasp more than we give them credit for a lot of times. We would tell them 'you can easily watch cartoons for longer than an hour and not go crazy' (they would nod) - 'and God is the most important thing in our lives' (very reasonable) - 'so one hour at Mass is a small thing to give to God'... Stuff like that, and they mostly sit still and behave. I love it!
My daughter is in first grade and just starting CCD. They require the kids to go to mass every Sunday and every day of holy obligation. Obviously for the first graders it’s before their first holy communion. So I bring all 3 of my kids (6,4 and 1 😅) sometimes by myself 😭 definitely not easy. Our old parish used to have a cry room which I loved but our new parish doesn’t! My mom thinks it’s a good thing so we teach the kids how to behave in mass and so they can see exactly how mass is. I like the idea of the age of reason though because really, they have no idea and I’m worried it could be a turn off for them.
Back when people reproduced to the tune of at least 3 children, it was the norm that the whole family went to mass and basically the children made some very minor noise and only when it got disruptive did you take the kid out to the vestibule for a walk and came back when they quieted down - there were no "cry rooms" and in fact such things put pressure on families to not bring children or to always banish them to the evil "cry room". If people reproduced as God intended everybody would understand because everybody was in the same situation but the self-inflicted birth dearth has made for an un-family friendly church in many many places and makes families way too self-conscious about children. Besides it helps make priests more humble when the sermon gets over-ridden by the same noise Christ made in the Temple that in that case, guess what - only the truly spiritual ones head the Savior, and he made the same noise for everyone. Chereerios, small toys, coloring books, let the kid sit on the kneeler and use the pew for a table when old enough, bring bottles, pacifier or whatever according to age, if you have enough children the older ones can oversee the younger at mass and assist around the home, assign responsibilities as they grow. I do not believe in the "Children's liturgy where some pied piper parades them out to where they can go listen to dummied down Gospel tripe and bring you back a picture of some odd thing afterward. All that does is train children to leave mass, the mass is a whole family thing, not just for children of a certain age. By the way the Saint parents you mentioned -European churched frequently had NO pews -were unheated, no kneelers, and NO amplified sermons and the Latin mass was and is very very quiet since it was invented before loud speakers. So, times change and we have brother amplification and sister loud speaker and worst of all amplified bad music played not-infrequently on piano. So frankly if I were a kid, I would definitely scream - just because - in which case, if the scream is disruptive and on-going - you take a walk with the kid. If however the scream is over some loud crappy music with a hymn with "updated words" (the kind that allow a new copyright), in those cases I would encourage the kid to scream because it is the lesser evil - just say'n. I love masses where the whole family is there - -Jesus said to LET THEM COME AND DO NOT HINDER THEM!!!!!! If ever they needed to be at mass and we needed them to be there it is this GODLESS age where one in three of them never get a chance to live at all. God bless the children and all the families that dare to have all that God sends - My mother was 7 of 7, my father 10 of 11 - were my grandparents selfish I and my children would not be here..
I agree with all of this! I wish I had had it earlier because my daughter is 3.5 and doing much better, but taking her to mass was miserable for those first couple years and I felt sinful when I didn’t have it in me to go or take her. So much confessional time over that and no one even said it was okay.
Seminarian day sounds brilliant!!!!
As a side note, I wish that people ever addressed faithful Catholic single parents. It would not have been hard to include us in the list of “spouse in the military, emergency services, etc.” We’re invisible in the Church. Everyone addresses single persons and parents separately as if there wasn’t an overlap there. It would be nice to be included. Thanks for all you do!
Madison - I think you are doing a great job. Even when you feel invisible or excluded you are still trying to do the right thing. May God's grace be with you always.
Great tip!
With 9 kids we have done everything! But we make an effort to go into church after mass and kneel before the tablernacle and say “Thank you and Goodby”! We have taught our kids that you never leave someone’s house without saying goodby. This makes being in church a little less intense. And makes them realize that this is “Jesus” house that we are welcome to come to.
We bribe! We have a 4yr old and an almost 2 year old. I’m not above bribery. Lol. Suckers/donuts/tv time.... it has helped. We’ve never had stink i from people but I always worry my kids are annoying to people. I had an older gentleman one time after mass (after I had apologized for my kids being so loud) and he said “if I didn’t want kids in my church service I wouldn’t be catholic”. That really stuck out to me. ❤️
We have 5 children 1 year apart and 1 teenager who helps us alot, when we get to mass i keep with me my wife 2 and our oldes 1... we seat separately and it helps, they make more noise when we all seat togheter
I have three girls under 5 years old. Some days they are good, other days are a disaster. I do try to read ahead so that I am familiar with the readings already and can piece together the homily better if I'm distracted with the kids. I also find bringing colouring books helpful. I find my children can only focus for 20-30 minutes max so distractions is key for a 1 hour mass.
In many other parts of the world kids acting like kids aren't seen as a nuisance. This view of ours might actually reflect on us and what we require of others.
Merry Christmas!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
It may be tough to bring little kids to mass but i don't agree with leaving them home until they're old enough to 'reason '. My brother and i were taken to sunday mass ever since we were born!(i even have precious memories of being at mass as a toddler).... building faith begins very early... kids pick up things from a very young age. Leaving them home until they're old enough to receive holy communion would mean loosing valuable years of building their faith and forming memories that last a lifetime.
thanks for all your vids! keep going! Dont stop
'Jesus said, Let the children come to me...'
I loved what was said "a crying baby is a growing church"! Or something of that sort lol...I have 7 and I have been through most of what was mentioned but I came to realization that 1) some ppl that make comments or stare haven't had kids, 2) if they did they must have forgotten what it was like to struggle with kids at mass since their kids are more than likely grown, 3) or are just grumpy ppl that have not companion for others. It is up to us parents to show and lead our children to Jesus so we can not let others keep us from doing that. When we are before God and He asks us what we did with our kids to lead them to Him, the excuse of " well You see I was taking them to mass but then ppl started making me feel uncomfortable cause my kids weren't behaving" is not going to be excusable 😁
I am the mom of 4 kids and my third is two. She is SOOOOOO hard to deal with during mass. Defiant, doesn’t want to sit still, screams, fights us. It’s so stressful. My husband sings during mass and there are times I want to just load up and leave! Today was particularly bad 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Great video. Parents shouldn't be afraid of bringing their children to mass.
What's worked for me is:
1) Get the kids accustomed to being at mass. Go every week from the very beginning of their lives. It is going to be hard at for the first few months but practice makes perfect (especially for kids). As they grow into toddlers there will be different challenges but as they learn that this is part of their "routine" and they will calm down. Then once they have mastered being quiet during the mass they can learn when to sit, stand, kneel.
2) If you don't have kids, be considerate as they said in the video. Jesus loves when children come to him. Encourage and be patient with those with small children. On the other side of that if you have small children and can't quiet or calm them down rather quickly be considerate of others as well.
3) Talk to you kids about the mass and the faith. Help them develop their love and appreciation for the mass.
Great tips! Thanks for doing these videos
Crying babies at mass is the best.
Thank you so much for this video, it has helped me a lot!
As hard and frightening as this may sound, sit on the first row or as close to the altar as possible with your children. Seeing what’s going on gets children interested and involved in Mass. I had an extremely active young one a long time ago & it truly worked for him. Just a thought
Thank you, very helpful advice.
Very good!!
Cry room is NOT to be a loud "play room" - it is a place where children can be taught, have coloring book or quiet toys. It is not easy but with five years between my sons - but we were fortunate to go as a couple majority Of time. Some cry rooms are for parents that refuse to discipline - Bobs joke was so true!!
I always smile and congratulate parents for how difficult to get children out to church and how it gives me hope. Also, when children are 3-4 compliment when they are doing right thing.......DO NOT encourage parents to wait until 6 years old. TRY A CAMPUS MINISTRY OR FAMILY MASS...... If it is a fighting match, they will fall away as teens or as soon as they leave house...... keep the faith --- my son and daughter-law church shopped after buying their home and Christmas eve I go with my 4 and 22 mo grandchildren ;) i am so impressed and each time I m with them I do something they don't get to do with parents. After mass - do you want to see the cross up close ( altar server cross)--- he now knows - only when Grandma is with us LOL...... He will probably bring me to see BABY JESUS in the stable like Jan 2017 when i was there...... 😀 Don't give up. Invite another couple with older children to go with you.....the young ones love to imitate but make sure with parents who parent lol....my son once said my parish family mass was romper room with a priest hahaha - for you young ones,l,.Romper room was a tv show....anyone over 40 would remember!!!
I have two sons ages 1 and 4 and we are going to mass for the first time this Sunday (Easter) my husband and I are trying to become catholic but have never gone to mass. We are coming from the protestant church where there is a nursery for babies and a class for my 4 year old. I'm very nervous!
#Thankyouamen
Kids at mass is awesome. I only wish parents would actively teach their kids to cover their mouth(s) when they cough and sneeze. I rarely ever even see parents try (no matter what the age of their kids) and it always puzzles me. Other than that, I love when everyone brings their kiddos to church. Kids can be very entertaining with their antics during mass 😂
What is your opinion regarding eastern Catholics because in the eastern church you receive first communion and confirmation when you are baptized. Not bringing them would be denying them communion. The Divine Liturgy is structured differently allowing movement by the lay people and probably more engagement by young children.
I'm from a country where a lot of the churches are very old and so adding a cry room on would take a lot more work compared to more modern churches, any tips on how to work around this?
I can see when parents are in distress and struggle, people are usually quite understanding in such situations. But when you see them NOT strugging, but letting their children terrorize all church, priest included, letting them run in all directions, scream and talk loudly - not incidently, but on regular basis? It doeas happen. And if ou would comment, you're not supportive and you don't know what it's like to have children. You just don't love, you're mean and you don't know that Jesus said "Let the little children come to me". Or maybe He said "Let the little children run, scream and disturb everyone, since they aren't aware I'm dying this very moment on the cross"? Where is the line?
Sound sensible ...seems like they fed up let them loose
As a second grade teacher who prepares seven and eight-year-olds for First Communion, I couldn't disagree more about not taking your kids to Mass until then. Maybe they don't need to go from ages one to four or five, but I think it's very important that they have a couple years of Mass attendance before receiving Communion to experience what they're doing before they are thrust into the Sacrament.
Just this past Sunday my 2 year-old boy threw a king sized tantrum at communion time. I picked him up and began approaching the altar for communion when he started crying, yelling "no, no, no!" And trying to get away from me. I didn't know what to do. I thought about peeling off and heading out the side door, but I ended up recieving Our Lord. It felt wrong to me, trying to prayerfully approach the sacrament being agitated with a 2 year-old in tow in the midst of a full-out meltdown. I was embarrassed. After recieving I immediately took him out to the car where we waited until my wife and other child came out after mass was completed. Our parish is large, and does not have a cry room. That is the first time I have ever left mass before the final blessing. Does anybody have any advice about how I could have better handled the situation?
I always get nervous when I take kids to church. Sometimes they get nervous and stay quiet but other times they'll get restless.
For me my children are RARELY noisy at mass. My secret? Well, for younger toddlers age 1-4 Before mass I let them engage in very energetic activities so when we go to mass they would be too tired to make noise. Also, we sit at the FRONT PEW. By age 5 children will develop an understanding of what the mass is when you sit at the front pew. My eldest is 6 years old now and she participates, and also does not make noise during mass. She is well behaved.
Lol love this! I have 4 kids. An 11yr old, 10 yr old, 7 yr old, and 2yr old. So, I've gotten the "stank" look many times. I just laugh about it now. I used to get super mad but I guess I'm more immune now. Cry rooms are great but I feel like my kids behave worse in there!
Bring the children to mass!
It is interesting that St Therese's family did not always bring their children before the age of reason. However, in those days, maybe there wouldn't have been public restrooms for little bladders? No place to change diapers?
I have 4 boys under 8. We attend the Latin Mass. The best preparation for Mass is to say the rosary with them at home everyday. That provides daily practice for quiet behavior and staying in one place for 15-20min. Even a child around two can start to stay in one place for the rosary (for example, a rug)
In church, quiet books, quiet coloring. Don't make being outside of mass (basement or crying room) a fun recess. If a child is loud enough to be taken out, then they shouldn't be rewarded with playtime. It sends the message that screaming or misbehaving is a ticket out of mass.
And for having an extra set of hands, pop on a baby carrier. It definitely helps
@J M how do you encourage your small children and spouse to pray the rosary? I would love that. But both of my little girls leave within the 1st mystery and my husband is not very keen to even start praying it... Thank you for your wisdom
Sandra M I must admit that we did not say the rosary regularly for the first few years of marriage. However, we came from families who prayed it daily and we both wanted to do it. Eventually, we agreed that my husband would say it on his own and I would do it with the children during the work week. If it is just too much, a decade a day is a great place to start.
You could also try using TH-cam videos of the rosary (it definitely helps the kids and adults focus)! There are ones with pictures and ones with videos
th-cam.com/play/PL5N6jkJl0oHnr8nT9fxKs0WE6z7bYoI-y.html
Having the expectation that the rosary is a part of the child's day, just like sitting at the table for a meal or listening nicely to a story book, can come with consistency. Using books that have pictures of the decades, or lighting a candle during the rosary that they get to blow out at the end, can add some interest to it. I hope that helps give some idea.
@@JM-qs8up thank you! I'll give it a try :). God bless you
I never though of not bringing them. The whole family goes together. We don't bring anything, they just have to participate. We found even a book, or stuffed Jesus made a bigger chaos, it was just easier to bring nothing. I have only had priest encourage children/babies to come. Some even closed their cry rooms or daycare so the toddlers would be in Mass with their families.
Excuse me:
You don't have to bring your children to Mass until they are old enough to receive the Holy Communion (that is, until they reach "the age of reason")?
How are they going to learn the discipline and devotion required for attending the Mass? These have to be developed at a very young age, via modeling their own parents (or any other father/mother figure for that matter).
By the time children receive their Holy Communion - at the age of eight, on average, and at the earliest - it may be already too late.
Is it any wonder, then, that most kids never go back to Church after they receive their Holy Communion?
Rolando E. Díaz Olivo, M.D. this is exactly why we don’t send our kids to children’s liturgy. How will they learn if they are in a classroom colouring for 7 years of sundays
Hello! It think that the discipline and devotion are to be developed during their whole childhood wether or not they are at Mass. I believe that children don’t go back because of bad parenting, not because they were or weren’t brought to Mass.
As they mentioned from the only married saints: they brought them I; some occasions but not EVERY Sunday.
I do see your point don’t get me wrong, but si genuinely believe that discipline and devotion are taught all the time with kids.
God Bless you!
At home lol, its not cus parents don't bring their kids to mass before communion, its cus bad parents in general
Jib Jabs what didn’t no priest rape me where you going with this
Just so I'm clear...is the cry room for the kids or for the parents? But in all honesty, this was good to hear. I have been feeling guilty about leaving our son in child care. I know it's a benefit to him to be in the church but sometimes it's nice for my wife and I to enjoy some peace and contemplative moments in mass. That being said, we're also usually thinking about him most of the time and worried we are going to get called over to the child care room because he hasn't stopped crying. The whole point is to just try and don't stop trying. Shrug off the stink faces and the little voice in your head causing you unnecessary anxiety. I'm comforted to know it's a season in life and they will benefit greatly later when they comprehend what's going on.
I am named after St. Zelie!:) We pronounce it Zel-ee. Like Ellie with a Z.
I am only 19 so no kids yet, but I'll keep this video in mind in the future lol
My sister used to take out all the contents of my mum's handbag and then mum would repack it and she'd take it all out again. LOL.
Mass is a father's job. If children are nursing or incapable of not crying or screaming yet, then they should stay home with mommy.