One Girl's Search For Anonymous Egg Donor That Created Her
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ธ.ค. 2024
- The process of contacting a donor can be incredibly challenging. Brittan Gilmore, from Nashville, Tennessee, spent two years searching for the woman who donated the egg that helped create her.
Watch more clips: ktie.tv/1kGiRLW
Follow Katie on Facebook: / katiecouric
Follow Katie on Twitter: / katiecouric
Subscribe to Katie's channel: ktie.tv/1eUPgMf
I can understand why she’d want to know who the donor was but that’s exactly why they do it anonymously.. the donor doesn’t get to know whether the mother-to-be’s pregnancy was successful. The whole point is for the parents to have a child they were not able to conceive. So for this girl to be saying she has family somewhere else is kinda ridiculous.. her family is up there on the stage with her, the people who raised her.
Javi agreed 100%! I think like she said, it was out of pure curiosity.
Yeah, you think so. Well if your significant other fathered a child without wanting to, (donating sperm) they would take a paternity test if the mother wanted to and guess what, HE WOULD HAVE A NEW CHILD!!! So what is the difference, really? Children want to know who their biological parents off no matter if there is love involved or not. They want to know the egg and sperm that created then-=no matter how it was done.
Siyovaxsh En-sipad-zid-ana Please stop! 😭😭😭
@@chosenchic2990 but she is telling the hard trueth. DNA is the egg and all features and behavior will be from the egg donor
I love Jesus I understand that without a doubt. But I don’t get the insensitivity regardless.
Love how her parents handled the whole situation: no lies & straightforward & compassionate honesty.
While I can understand Brittan wanting to meet the donor, calling the donor "mom" is out of line. The egg donor isn't a mom to Briton of any sort. The woman who carried her, gave birth to her and has been by her side to raise her is her "mom" and she doesn't have a second mom either. I feel like in this country everything wants to be romanticized....oh she hasn't a second mom....oh the long awaited meeting....give me a break. Her mom has been with her since the very beginning and what the donor did was absolutely amazing, no doubt, but she's not Brittan's mom.
Personally, my mother used an egg donor so I was always curious, but an egg donor is not the child's mother.
The lady is her bio mom
@@emmanelson4188 and how does that make you feel? Did your parents have early conversations with you? Just curious.
Children can not be bought. This woman was a surrogate. She has a natural primal instinct to find her own
@@Nolanoyayo bollocks
Her family is the people on stage with her right now
Clearly not according to her and its her life!
@@Nolanoyayo she’s greedy
No.
@@danomo675 Ella no elige, la naturaleza, que es la ley, la obliga a buscar a su madre. No somos Dios.
I Don’t speak your language
These comments make me sad. So, let me say this as an egg donor. I've donated multiple times to a few wonderful ladies. They've had children. I don't consider myself their "mother" of any sort. I am a donor and that is all I am. I see people discussing "biological" and "genetic" mothers. I am a geneticist and let me quote something from an article "Genetic procreators are obviously biological procreators-they contribute biological material that is essential for the future child's existence and identity. I assume that it is unproblematic to see gestational procreators as another type of biological procreator: genes can only express themselves in an environment, and therefore genetic material and environmental conditions together determine phenotypes." So, I would say both the donor and the gestational mother are biologically related to the child. Only the donor is genetically related to the child. I have no issue with emphasizing the role that genetics and biology play in creating a child. What I do have an issue with is the use of the term genetic"mother" to describe a donor. Although it might be the right term scientifically, life is so much more than science. A "mother" is the person who raises you, loves you and cares for you. To this young lady, it is the wonderful woman sitting next to her and not the donor.
Having said that, I understand the curiosity and the longing to know your genetic roots. I don't blame this young lady for wanting to know that. What I don't like is that she thinks of the donor as another "mother" or someone from her other "family." That's a no from me. "Mother" and "family" are things that we earn through love. So, I wish Brittan saw it that way, but she is young and maybe she'll realize this when she's older and is a mom herself.
To ladies who are thinking of using donor eggs: I recommend that you speak with multiple donors, at least through an anonymous email address, and get to know them a little more before deciding on one. Make sure their values and definitions align with yours. Also, make sure that if your child does want to know their genetic roots, they will be willing to speak to the child. We all have a right to know our genetics and your child deserves that freedom. However, your child is yours. Not the donors. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise! Don't be scared. Don't feel insecure. Own the power and be confident! You are your child's mother!
I can't speak for other donors but, I am forever on the mom's side. The ladies I donated to are wonderful human beings and I know they'll be amazing mothers. Perhaps better mothers than I would ever be to children that I'd carry and raise. So, it makes me sad to see so many moms being concerned that they'll lose their child later on to the donor or that the child will love the donor more. Ladies, you are raising these children. Raise them with honesty and integrity. You are the ones who gets to instill their values. It's like being born in different countries. I could be ethnically Chinese but if I was born and live in the United States, chances are I'll speak English way better than Chinese. Who you come from genetically plays a little role in the type of person you become later in life. It has a lot more to do with the environment and influences you grow up with. So, ladies! Raise your children to be people who are able to cope with situations like this and teach them to approach them with sensitivity and understanding.
If any donor conceived child is reading this. Here is a message for you: I understand that you are curious about where your genetics come from. Maybe you are excited to know the donor and I am sure that the mystery of who they are just adds to the excitement. Your feelings are valid. It's okay to be curious and excited. However, make sure that this is a journey you embark on with you mother. The one that raised and loved you. Just as she has done all these things for you and has tried to understand you, try to understand her too. She is a human being with feelings. It might hurt her to hear you call someone else "mother." So, maybe don't call your donor that. That doesn't mean you can't get to know your donor. Just do so in a way that doesn't hurt the person who brought you into this world.
This must be soooo hard for the mother that carried her for 9 months
I was looking for this comment
I agree
it's almost as if...the mother made this choice and it affected us....us donor conceived people and did not choose this....yet people only worry about the parents' feelings despite the fact that they made the decisions
Maybe not. Many people are happy they were able to have a child this way since they could not with their own eggs or sperm. In a way it is adoption, but it gives the woman the chance to carry a child. some women feel only gratefulness. Not all women are that self-centered and insecure
@Holy Empress W your ignorance is overwhelming repeatedly. Fostering or adopting...not only is it repeated failures as the state does not make this simple to do and is even more costly than egg donation, but these children have often abuse issues that people who have never been parents really are not equipped to deal with due to someone else's neglect or abuse. Deal with your mental issues, others here who are donor conceived are much more positive and seem to have dealt with their anger issues over the secrets that were kept from them.
I gave my eggs last year, not anonymously, because I get that finding me could mean finding a bit more about one identity. But I would never consider myself as the biological mother of anybody (I don't want kids). I'm a part of a story, a DNA, a genetic background, but I don't have anything to do with motherhood.
Pues lo eres. No haberlos donado. No es un juego.
Egg donors are not parents! They are just that donors. This girl should not go off and say she's looking for her biological mother.
i agree. i hate this notion of some kind of spirit connection or something with your ancestors. you don't need to know your biological parents if you never did.
+dej92 Who should decide that egg donors are not the parents? Donors? Legal parents? Law? Or perhaps we should leave it to the children who had nothing to say, how they had been created. I can understand that this situation was very painful for her legal mother, but world is like this and sorry but curiosity about identity is totally normal. The basic human right is to know its identity
Everybody adopted or were grown by not the biological DNA mother &or father will always know it. No matter what. This creates terrible sadness & longing. I know this because my maternal grandmother was switched at birth & dumped at another country in Europe for evil sinister reasons & my father was also placed at another country (temporary which became a lifetime) & he even didn't know when young, his parents were not his real parents yet later on life, he knew was adopted, in spite of false birth certificate. The always know.
Stop being blatantly unscientifically dumb... Biological mom is the real parent who shares her genes with the girl... The conceiving mom didn't share her genes... The girl will pass on her biological mom' s genes to her future children not her conceiving mom' s. She has two X chromosomes... One of which is given by her biological mom aka her egg donor
Purple Jigsaw Phoenix recent studies show that some DNA from the recipient is passed to the embryo. Just sayin.
Poor mom. I feel so sorry for her. She carried her for 9 months and still feels inferior.
Yea I agree ivf is a big stressful process to go through all the love that women has given that girl
Lo es. Nadie obligó a esta mujer a comprar naturaleza, de otra. No es su hija.
Her biological mother is sitting next to her... you know the one that birthed her. There is a reason why donors are usually anonymous.
this is really sad. this girl does not realise how much she is hurting her mum. a mum is someone who takes care of you, loves you, raises you. I understand that she wants to know where she is from.but the way she talks it s like she has only one mum : the donor...but what about the women who took care of her, it s like she does mot care. it s very sad. the mum wanted her so badly, she lived her even before she was concieved, she dreamed of this baby...
+Magalie brunelle Don't put your feelings into this situation. This woman may never have felt any of those feelings you suggest. Many women who adopt children make huge efforts to help their children find their biological children. Many adoptive parents go to great lengths to keep in touch with the biological parents. Listen to the last few minutes of the interview and you'll see that love leaves no room for negative feelings.
+Julie Blackwelder I have to disagree but thanks for your comment 😊 egg donor is not an adoption. the egg donor does not give a child to someone to carry, she gives an egg, and when the transfert is done , its still not an embryo, it is cells that are developing into an embryo, then a foetus. So in my opinion, the "real mum" is the one who took care of the child and have it since the begining. Also, I do agree with the fact that it s important the child knows where is from, I think the way she behaves is sad, as she does not think about the feeling of her mother.Have you seen the 2 nd part? 😊
Magalie brunelle Yes, I have watched the other video. I think your reading your own emotions into this situation is likely a case of misplaced and exaggerated empathy. Many parents, regardless of situation, want their children to have the truth about themselves and their situation and would do this to make their child's life more complete. That they are able to do this so well, as this woman appears to do, in my opinion, is a sign of maturity and great love for their child. This is similar to adoption in that the mother who raised her is not her biological mother. Being blessed with two mothers who love you is a wonderful gift for a child. (Aren't they both her "real mum"? Why use those words at all since they are ambiguous and simply cloud a straightforward issue? In this case "birth mom" and "biological mom" would be more accurate. If either of those titles would wound your feelings, be glad you're not in this situation.)
+Julie Blackwelder actually I am in this situation. and I have never said the parents should hide the truth. for me, what I call a real mum is the one who loves and takes care of the child. the egg donor is a gift for people who can not have children, but usually they want to stay anonymous because they do not want anything to do with the kids. My real mum is the one who gave birth to me and protected me and for me it s the only mother I have. we definitely have different opinions 😊 but it was nice to have another point of view.
Yes!! I kept thinking that the whole video
The daughter makes me mad that egg donor didn’t raise you she did it for the money the lady that carried you and raised you is your mom .
No es su madre. Esa mujer compró un óvulo, con dinero. Creyó que podía engañar a la naturaleza.
"bitter or better", girlie, this is only supposed to make you feel BETTER because the woman sitting next to you is your MOTHER
No lo es. Por eso necesita encontrar a su madre. La naturaleza, allí la puso, no tiene otra. La compradora de óvulos no es más que una egoísta, con ganas de juego.
@@Uber1937 shut up!
This lady is sooo sweet for doing this for her daughter with not hard feelings about it 😭🌹❤️
No, she made the choice to use an anonymous egg donor. The daughter didn’t have that choice. This is what RPs SHOULD do. Support their child in their pursuit of their genetic family. I didn’t get a choice to be egg donor conceived. My genetic family has been half hidden from me my entire life.
@@mollyk3768 Mi sobrina quedó estéril por donar óvulos. Está buscando a sus posibles hijos.
@Holy Empress W thank you, I did and it’s been a great experience :)
This might be a hard question to answer I imagine as most people have an instinct for survival but when you say you didn't get a choice the way you were conceived... but had you not been conceived that way you would not be conceived at all.. what should the mom have done who birthed you? I am considering using a donor egg myself and when I read comments like this one, I worry that maybe my child would prefer that I not do it. In which case of course I don't want to. I hope this makes sense, I am skirting around the question as I don't know how to properly ask it. It just seems like some children of donor eggs feel like they got a raw deal and I am wondering if it is better for the child to not create the child. And while I understand that it would not be my genetics, I would have something to do with the creation in that I would choose the donor mom, influence the child in utero epigenetically, my blood via the placenta would run through the baby and nourish/grow the baby and I would give birth and raise the child. So in those ways I would be part of it. But again I do understand it would not be my genetics and maybe that just makes it too unfair to the child. @@mollyk3768
@@Lela9752 I think what you’re asking is about the morality of using donor gametes and my general opinion boils down to a couple factors: in order to raise a DC child, you must be 100% honest with your child about their conception (age appropriately of course) and support them in all of their emotions or lack thereof, be open to talking about it, let them have access to their donor papers, and support them in finding their donor if they do wish. Basically, you have made a choice in creating them and in doing that, you have removed them from their genetic family. There sometimes is low grade trauma that occurs especially where the donor is neurodivergent and the RP is not. I’m close with my RPs and I would give anything for them and them for me, but I am my bio-mom’s kid. I have her brain, her sharpness, lack of trust, it’s just how it is. You can’t expect a DCP to behave like the RP they’re not related to. It’s a lot to unpack but at this moment in time (opinions grow and change) I don’t think that having a child through donor assisted conception is wrong morally, but you cannot put a wall up and pretend it didn’t happen. The people who get the most agitated by it are the ones who found out and weren’t supposed to.
That was very long and not organized at all but if you have any more questions or if I didn’t give a good/straightforward answer, please feel free to ask. I obviously can’t speak for the whole community, I had a relatively good experience being a DCP, I have a great relationship with my parents who were honest with me from the start. Most people haven’t gotten that so I feel incredibly lucky. The majority of DCP don’t know and the ones who find out later tend to care more and the ones who find out earlier usually don’t care as much. I didn’t care until I realized that if I waited too long, I might never find her or might never get to meet her. The experiences vary but honesty and openness are unmistakably two extremely important variables that changes the way kids experience being DC.
She is a donor not a biological mum. There’s a huge difference. Poor mum.
Poor mom? She made the choice. she’s still her mom, but the kid gets to know where she comes from genetically. That should be her right as a human. Brittan didn’t get a choice to be donor conceived.
Al revés, esta mujer no es nadie.
Her DNA comes from the egg donor not her mom. the reality is she needs to know about this. What if she hooked up with her bio half sibling? What if cancer runs in the egg donor's family. It isn't about her having a relationship with her egg donor.
Just saw this and its 2020! Lol she has the right to think of the egg donor but its her mom conceived her, her family is right there in front of her!
The weird thing is that I seen a photo of Britain meeting her egg donor, she looks more like the woman who carried her and nothing like the donor!
I wish my parents were open about how I was conceived with an anonymous donor egg. My mom only told me casually when I was 23 while we were watching a show that was doing an IVF storyline. I was not prepared for that in any way, shape, or form. I had never even suspected I wasn’t born from my parents’ egg and sperm. For me, this was soul shattering because it suddenly felt like this key part of my identity was nothing more than a lie. It felt so messed up that both my parents and my sister knew more about my genetics than I did. But in that moment, I couldn’t voice any of this. I was too stunned to speak. Since then, they haven’t brought it up at all. No asking me how I felt, no offering resources to help me understand what it actually meant, and a straight up refusal to share any information that could possibly help me search for the donor (e.g. when the donation happened, name of the fertility clinic, etc.). I’m not searching because I want to “replace” my mom or anything like that, and I’m fine with the donor not wanting a relationship with me. If all I can get is a name and medical history, fine. But I feel that I have a right to know who’s DNA is inside me, both for my own personal knowledge and for an accurate medical history of any genetic disorders I may be at risk to from the donor’s DNA.
I’m really glad this girl’s parents were so open with her and supportive of her search. As a child from a donor egg, I think this should be the norm for all families who use donor eggs and/or sperms. (Just to be clear, I have absolutely nothing against using donor eggs or sperm. I just don’t think it should be kept secret from the kid.)
Really sorry they handled it that way. You are right to feel they way you do. Thanks for sharing!!
here is the thing...I have had medical issues that my mom (biological, through a natural process) was never aware of being a carrier. Most people don't drag their parents to get genetic testing unless it was a serious issue they are having. So this repeated argument of I need to know what I am susceptible to...well, you can find that out on your own with your own screening. Keeping your story a secret and then dumping a new reality on you however is sad and I think it is how these parents were advised at that time to proceed. It never should be a secret. With that said, I also believe that if a donor wants to be hidden that is their own prerogative...otherwise we are all violating their rights that they signed to. Very complex social issues with this but at no point should a child not know how they became.
Thank you for sharing. This is helpful. You sound mature and strong, and you sound like you will get through this. All the best on your journey. Life is a beautiful thing.
Tu madre es solo una, la que la naturaleza te dio. La ciencia juega, por dinero, pero, siempre pierde. Te deseo de corazón que encuentres a tu madre y familia. Mi sobrina donó óvulos y se quedó estéril, está buscando a sus posibles hijos. 🙏
@Holy Empress W Tú eres tonta. El tiempo te espabilará. Recuérdalo.
Hey the egg doner is not the biological mother, she is simply egg doner, we can not call her mother it is very unfair
I come from an egg donor too. I think it's perfectly fair for her to want to get to know her egg donor. it's nothing against her mom, she has every right to want to know this woman and her possible siblings. It's not like her mom never expected this. I don't think you all should be criticizing Briton. You all don't understand unless you are a donor child. The donor can be called her biological mother if she wants her to be called that.
Exactly, we are human beings, we come from an ethnic background and a family and so much of who we are is determined by our DNA. Everyone has a right to search for their origins. For those brother and sisters and parents who look just like us and share so many characteristics. There is no such thing as a truly anonymous "donation" of eggs and sperm. If you bring someone to life, you are never anonymous.
katie korms absolutely!
@@maytc2011 actually genes expression is done in uterus by uterus surrounding , and as such she is more then her DNA. Biologicals mother is someone who gave birth to a child, but if this girl wants to call the donor biological mother thats her right but not obligation.
Donor is not mother , that hurt for mother.
This makes absolutely no sense. An egg donor is not the same as a biological mother.
Sylvia Brown err yeah it is stop sugar coating it to make it seem normal
Sylvia Hinds I'm just asking: if the egg donors child marries a child from her egg, is it incest?
@@goggliesunshine7486 Of course it's normal to have enough love in your heart to want to help a childless couples. It's beautiful.
What is strange and uncaring is someone who would suggest it needs sugar coating to seem acceptable.
@@goggliesunshine7486 heartless and ignorant
@@jenniferarenas103 safe to assume you are probably a donor egg user. Why is it always about the parents wanting a kid? What about the child having a right to know where they actually come from and the feelings they have to deal with. It's not right. Im sorry im not ignorant I just don't think people ever think from the childs point of view
What a beautiful family she was lucky enough to have! I have a biological family who have all abandoned me and parents who were awful! I would have killed just to be raised by people who loved me! Genetics mean NOTHING
People who disagree with this obviously have never dealt with infertility.
No manipulen. No es infertilidad, sino, esterilidad. Si la naturaleza no te permite tener hijos, nunca, los tendrás. Acepta y no juegues con personas.
birth mother? her mother was pregnant and gave birth to her. the girl make a big deal out of this.
Be Em Le thi bull its her life and she has the right to know
It is a big DEAL!!!! It's her real mother
Arrania Winter Why are you on every single comment and commenting on videos related to egg donation. You’re clearly just trying to spread hate.
Are you kidding? And you don't even show the mother after waiting thru all that?
Very sad story...I can't even imagine how painful this situation is for mother of this girl! She gave everything to this child. She gave her life to maintain and care about this girl. She considered her like her own daughter. And here is gratitude… I had de ivf in European clinic last year. Now I have my daughter and I'm happy mother. I love her and consider she's MY baby. I'm not sure I'll tell her about the procedure. I should say I won't tell her. It will change nothing for my daughter. I think truth only complicates such situations. I'm her only mother. I carried her, gave birth, I give her all my love! I'll do my best so she will have no need to look for someone else.
You are not going to tell her that you are not her biological mother?She is not your DNA and she will one day find out and will probably try to find her bio mom. And that is the hard truth.
What if she finds out? Remember not secret under the earth. You can grow old but one day wether you are dead or alive she will know
Maybe the mothers should start refering to their kids as donor kids.. or nonbio kids to give them a taste of their shit
I think you should tell her. With DNA testing kits introduced into this world it would be better if she found out from you than from a genetic relative. She may grow to resent you for keeping her conception a secret. Also, she may need the medical history of her donor’s family for future health risks. You will and always be the person who gave nutrients to her in your womb, comfort her when she was sad, and been there when she took her first steps. However, at the same time, there is a chance she may be curious about her ancestry, and that is a fact that you need to accept.
@@nobylindz1594 yup. those kids are trash for even wanting to search out people who spent decades knowing about them yet not searching them out.
Her mum is soooo sweet! 💕
No es madre, de nadie.
The accurate terminology is DNA mother, not biological mother. Her mother that raised her also carried her for nine months, making her the gestational mother. They are both biological mothers.
The person that donated the egg did it for money. Why on earth do you put your perants through this? I dont think they should be allowed to connect
Okay this is for everyone in the comments. Yes, family is who brought you up but I can say from personal experience and my partners experience that knowing where your DNA came from is important. It’s like not knowing where your roots are and for some reason more and more U.S citizens aren’t caring about who their ancestors were. I grew up not knowing who my mother who birthed me was or where she came from or even where my Dads side of the family came from because of the choices THEY made. It is unfair to tell someone that they cannot learn where they came from or who they’re related to biologically just for your own gain.
Personally it has made me feel like I don’t have roots and I hate that feeling. I am a very earthy, grounded person and it is important for me to know my biological relatives. I don’t know 90% of my biological family because of this and it hurts me.
A selfless mother would understand the emptiness their child may feel not knowing where exactly their DNA is coming from. You can either be offended or choose to be selfless for your child’s sake so they don’t spend a lifetime not knowing.
sounds like the type of ungratefulness you would expect from someone growing up in the first world. Boo hoo, your biological donors threw you away only for someone else to take you on yet your response is to search out people who spent decades not wanting to search you out. Trash...
Why would you want to try to find a sperm/egg donor? I just don't understand. They aren't your parents. It's not like you're adopted and trying to find a mother/father who had to give you up when they had you. These people were "donors", but more honestly, they were "vendors". They sold their genetic material so someone could experience the beauty of having a child. Somehow it seems disrespectful towards the parents to me.
There are times people have health issues that come from the donors and not their parents and they need to know where it came from (I'm not sure how to fully explain what I mean).
Also, I would prefer my parents tell me from the start instead of me just finding out some time in my teens and feel like they were keeping something as huge as that from me.
In my opinion, the Brittan has two mothers - her birth mother and her biological mother (the egg donor).
Cole Coleman if a child wants to know their heritage /ancestry then it would be vital piece of info to know their donor
Lucie Loo to me it seems wrong for children to be obsessed in finding their genetic mothers or fathers, for any other reason other than for biological purpose i.e. genetic predisposition to diseases. If I were a parent, I would have felt disheartened, because these parents have not only raised them but gave birth to them. If I were a donor child, I would have tried to find my genetic parent, only out of curiosity and to validate my genetic history and nothing else. I'm not sure what is going on in the head of these children. Very disappointing!
'Donors' are not always 'selling' their genetic material/eggs for cash. Mine were taken=looted=stolen & were made multiple children, three cases are even on my youtube channel covertly. My left ovary was harvested by a high tech device - felt a huge pressure one night several years ago while was 'abducted' or might call it 'when time stops' & memory is ereased. For years my menstruation pads freshly were stolen (Europe) different locations. The whole 'IFV' business & in many cases even 'natural' looking conceptions are false, dad or mom might be from stolen genetic material. When entire families starts testing their DNA materials with en independent company who isn't falsify results, the outcome in many cases will be socking. When I started to realise what was done to me around the end of 2013, I sarted to get electronic torture attacks, following year microwaved my upper right side of my body while sitting at home & walking outside, 2015 was attacked even in shops & spent most of 2016 inside, on the floor of my bathroom because almost burned me to death by different directed energy weapons. The PTB did it till I got breast cancer. So no, not all DNA/egg donors got money for their donations...
I had a plastic surgery that went wrong 7 years ago and had 5 bags of blood transferred to me i don't know who donated them nor do i care i don't see why egg/sperm donation would be different. im grateful that people donate blood cuz it saved my life and that's that..
I had a plastic surgery that went wrong 7 years ago and had 5 bags of blood transferred to me i don't know who donated them nor do i care i don't see why egg/sperm donation would be different. im grateful that people donate blood cuz it saved my life and that's that..
50% of her unique genetic code is another person that she knows nothing about. It is perfectly reasonable to at least want to know something about the person who is quite literally half of what makes you, you. Blood is DNA, yes, but getting a blood transfusion won't change how you look, or act, or anything about you as a person.
😂😂😂😂 please, you are a whole person who has ancestry, so why should you care who gives you blood??? Please don't compare insects to lions, not even close. We are talking of genetic DNA and someone's 50% of makeup to become a human. And you want to compare that to blood???? Even if you got 100 million gallons, your DNA still you. Please don't mix up things
Very good analogy!
Humans share 100% of the same genes. 99,9% is the same combination. 0,1% is the different combination we inherit from our parents, 0,05% from mom and 0,05% from dad. Think about it before saying things like egg donor is the biological mother that provided a unique dna.
SOUNDS UNGRATEFUL!!!
I don't get why it's so important to meet the donor.
Because she shares 50% of her genetic make up with her, that matters. It is common for people who are donor conceived to seek information about their donor, this can be heartbreaking when the donor was anonymous (which is why it is no longer possible to do anonymous donation in the UK), I've read of people who have spent their whole lives looking at men which match the description of their donor, blond hair and blue eyes, just looking at men wondering if they were their biological Dad. It can cause a major crisis of identity to not know our family, look at how many adopted children seek information about their birth family.
Because its her mother her REAL mother
@@Nolanoyayo a real mother? Are you serious? A woman who donated her eggs for MONEY is a real mother, and the woman who gave birth to her and raised her is who?? according to you, nothing more than a stranger. Very sad.
@@ilyaryabov5955 it's not hard to comprehend. Not any different to a surrogate that then raised the baby
No one thinks about how the child would feel. Obviously this girl is speaking from the heart and its extremely important for a person to know where they come through. Put yourself in her shoes. I get some women really want kids but they have to realise its more than just them that are affected
Does anyone know where I can watch brittan meet her donor mom?:)
SAME I WANNA SEE
My husband and I had a fresh donor embryo transfer at a fertility clinic in Eastern Europe. We had many failed treatments in our local clinic. So we decided to go abroad. The procedure was anonymous. Our doctor helped us to choose a donor. I wanted her to look like me. I've got pregnant after the first ivf cycle. As I've mentioned already, the clinic uses fresh eggs. The transfer was fast and painless. We are now 7 months pregnant! Everything proceeded extremely smoothly from the first beginning. Dr. planned our treatment very carefully. We learned that the clinic chooses their donors very carefully. Genetic testing also enhances the chances of success. All the staff at the clinic was so friendly and positive all the time. We have no regrets.
Why did you want her to look like you? To pass the child off as your OWN? Tell the child the truth it's the decent thing to do
@@Nolanoyayo It's normal for someone to want their offspring to look like them, it's inbuilt. It's not to 'pass the child off as their own' there may be people who may want to do that but don't assume it's the only reason sheesh.
We have been deciding which path go is best. I'm glad you guys have had success, I wish you all the best :) Do you think though that the child may grow up and want to know their roots? Where they come from (even if it's cursory)... thats what we're wrestling with at the moment, not knowing how they can never contact or know (in any capacity) their donor parent.
Some people are saying that what she’s doing is rude and uncalled for.. I don’t think it’s anyone else’s place to tell her how to feel. Imagine having half of your family being unknown,. Imagine not knowing what features you got from where or what’s genes you got from who. OF COURSE YOU’D BE CURIOUS!! I don’t think it’s any at all rude if she has discussed this with her birth mother. And obviously yes, she should respect her birth mother because she’s the one who raised her, but if she wants to meet her biological mother, then she should!
Yes, these might be her parents and her family, but telling her to ignore the fact that half of her unique genetic code comes from somewhere else is really stupid. Every child has the right to know their biological/genetic parents. These situations where the donors are anonymous in my opinion is unethical!
Wtf!!!!! The donor is not your mother. The women who held you for 9months is your mother that took care of you..
TF that’s sad are you kidding me
Exactly
@Siyovaxsh En-sipad-zid-ana not everything is about genes
its almost as if no one in the comments has been 14 and finding themselves before
imagine being a teen
thats already traumatic enough lol
but add knowing that your mom isnt your blood + no one really explaining to you that this process is supposed to be anonymous and you get Brittan
i feel for her. &at the end of the day shes human. her mom is so strong❤️
THANK YOU. You are one of the only comments who actually gets it!!
@@kttv9442 Claro. Mi sobrina donó óvulos y se quedó estéril, ¿lo entiendes, tú?
An egg donor is not the parent and and it's not the child's family
That's just something people that pay for other womens egg say
@@Nolanoyayo have you done it then?
So sad...I can't imagine how much pain it caused to her mother. I had donation in Ukraine 2 years ago. Now I have my daughters. I don't think I will tell them that I had this procedure. I'm not considering them as not mine in the first place. I will give them all my love and care so I hope they won't have needs to look for egg donor. This story is upsetting...Poor mom of this girl. This situation probably tearing her apart(
Rita Margaritta wtf you can't not tell your children that you are not theor maternal mother just to make your insecurities hurt less. Like it or not they are not maternally your children. Yes you are their mother....but genetics is what connects us. Your daughters deserve to know their genetic past. You are evil.
Yeah. I was adopted young, and I’m glad my adopted mom told me I was adopted. I actually am very grateful for my adopted mom giving me a good quality of life. I’ve met my biological mom, but she has had a rough life and I can’t relate with her much.
Wow.....I can't believe what I just read.
Poor child to have of suffered emotionally in feeling something was missing from her life. She deserves to know and meet her real mother
I'm sorry but this is selfish. We have to put the kids over ourselves.
Everyone in the comments section is ridiculous! You have to tell your child that they are a donor child. They deserve to know their genetic history. Like it or not, the woman who carried her is a surrogate. Her biological maternal parent is the donor and her paternal parent is the sperm donor. Your sentimental idea of what makes a mother a mother is irrelevant. A fact is a fact.
Exactly some people just bury their head in the sand and think only how they feel not the child
There is ONE good reason why these kids NEED to know their donors. Maybe not just for the “half of me is out there” reason. But any forms of genetic illnesses that they must learn about. It is very, very important for them to know more about the medical histories of their donors. So, I wouldn’t blame her for feeling like she needed to. It’s the curiosity of humans. And once that curiosity is quenched, they find the answer and they will slowly move on.
No se "apaga". La naturaleza, no permite juegos. Necesita encontrar a su madre, porque la naturaleza obliga a hacerlo, no da opción.
What about the confidentional of all this process? The clinic where I had ED biotexcom has a respect attitude to that. I do not want my child spend a half, or all his life in searching of a donor. In the end there are better ways to spend your time, for example, a career.
For many people it’s very important. Much more important than a career, even.
Leave egg donors alone
No!
Exactly.
Is the egg donor considered to be the 'biological mother' ? The terms do vary. Given that the egg recipient carries and births the child... would they not be condsidered the biological mum? The egg donor being the genetic mum? It's just interesting. A complex situation but a fabulous one all the same x
The recipient is the biological mother, the egg donor is simply the genetic mother
Genetics is biology. The genetic mother is also a biological mother.
@Empress Wilande Frederici I am not I am quite educated in the medical field, but I suspect you are not and conversing with you is futile. Please educate yourself, there's a lot that you should learn before expressing your feelings which are not facts.
She’s about to meet her egg donor, but we the audience, never get to see them meet.
My goodness girl. Your family is right there next to you. You only have one mom, the one who carried you and raised you. The donor didn’t even give her up as a whole baby, just donated genetic material. Get over it.
Youth is very brave nowadays, not as we were in our teens. This new generation is awesome. Children grow without fear and with great determination. They try to achieve their goals without thinking about the real outcomes but only thinking about possible results. What if that girl met her biological mother and didn't like it? What if that biological mother didn't want to see her, know her and wanted to have nothing common with her? I don't think that donors can be considered as biological "mothers" after IVF treatment.
Deseo que la chica encuentre a su madre y familia. Qué tristeza, sola en la vida.
She’s not alone… & guess what, the person who donated the Egg got paid for it.
@@johan01030709 Te entiendo, pero a la Naturaleza nadie la compra. Su ley se cumple.
Last comment was immature by all standards. They aren't trying to replace them, they are trying to connect them, many health reasons and developmental stand points. If your not mature enough to handle how life really works, mind processes etc., stay off mature adults discussions. That's real 100%, no disrespect intended, you're just not grown enough mentally to comprehend.
Soul less disaster, it's sad really.
I feel bad for the mum and dad..they know that their daughter..loves them, but she loves another parent even more :( btw I'm not hating
Incredible the lack of compassion the comments show on here for the daughter. It’s perfectly natural that she would want to find her donor mother. That doesn’t take away from the fact her true mother is sitting next to her.
Right. It's a part of her.
It is her biological donor not her mother. It takes much more than donating/selling your eggs to be someones mother!
@holyempressw8531 It still doesn’t take from the fact that donating your eggs or sperm makes you a mother or father.
@Holy Empress W It’s difficult and risky. Many children that need to be adopted are mentally damaged through trauma or health problems due to neglect and poor maternal health during pregnancy. The statistics for addiction are also very high amongst adopted teens and adults. That’s not to say it can’t work out well, and people should help vulnerable children. My comment is not to put anyone off, it’s just important to know the facts. I have adoption in my family and it worked out well. Adoption is a wonderful thing to do for the right people ❤
It's shouldn't be disconnected to know siblings and blood relatives and blood parent because no one wants to end up marrying their half sibling (from not knowing who your blood relatives are) or close cousin. Truth is best!
Exactly
Blood relatives? You do know that there is only a genetic link correct?
Thinking about becoming a donor so many people need babies and can't have them it's heart breaking yet a big step I have so much to think through I really want to help a family
That's nice☺
It is not selfless to give your future children away
💗💗💗
@@jenniferhughes2155 so every time you have a period are you giving away “your child?”
@@jenniferhughes2155 Mj sobrina donó y se quedó estéril.
Sometimes I think it's better not to tell your donor conceived child anything,it can only cause problems and heartbreak for her parents. It was them who raised her,not the biological 'mum' or 'dad'.
Thinking the same thing.. great tell to what kinda child you brought up
Yeah until they go to 23andme and some random woman pops up as their mother? Lol
@@elizabethd112 they will find random woman donated their genetic material, woman who birth her is biological mother. Basic education.
@@lvt2050 no, the biological mother is the genetic mother.
@@elizabethd112 you might want to read definitions, biological mother is a birth mother
This low key disrespectful
I don’t get why donor kids do this
Biology
@@paulerdosdaughter lol ok
If all donor or adoptive children are like that, that would prbly make me not want to have or adopt someone elses biological kid. Like whats the point if theyre just going to want their bio parents anyway
I agree. My husband and I needed an egg donor. Im 4 months pregnant now and we are gonna be forthcoming about how she came about. I feel like I’m taking a big risk of having her act like this.
@@tiffanyhays5706 I had emergent ovarian surgery at 20 and lost my ability to have children. My Husband and I just went through egg donor retrieval 2 days ago, we were eagerly awaiting news on our embryos, and after watching this and reading the comments, I’ve requested that the clinic we are working with stop the process. I will not be able to survive a child I carried, gave birth to, and raised treat me like this. And our intentions were ALWAYS to be upfront and honest from before birth. We even have a few books for them already and they aren’t even embryos yet. This just killed me.
@@katiedunbar3096 I’m so sorry you are going through this. My baby is 5 months old now and truthfully I have had some trouble bonding with her. I don’t know if it’s because I’m trying to guard my heart from getting hurt if she wants to look for the donor when she’s older. Don’t get me wrong, I still love her so much and I wouldn’t change a thing. I wanted a family and a child so much that I’m willing to take that risk and tell her from an early age that she is donor conceived so she won’t be shocked. I think that’s the key to having it not be a big deal to them. I just pray that she will only look at me as her mom and no one else. I pray that she won’t even want to know who her donor is or any of that.
oh gosh this would be my worst fear! im not sure i would tell my child
This sucks!
I really feel sorry for this young lady. I feel like she is definitely confuse with how to value things in life. Her egg donor is just that an egg donor calling it mother is a whole different title that the egg donor does not want and it just doesn’t apply to her. Hope one day she would see and treasure that her real mother is the one that gave birth to her. She seems sadly very ignorant for her age.
You're emotionally immature. The egg donor is her biological mother and she would like to meet her and her genetically linked half siblings
@@TomikaKelly You are uneducated. Her egg donor is just egg donor, part of genetics background. Genetics is not contract you have to fulfill. Biologicals mother is the one that gave birth to a child.
This little bit helps is soo ungrateful
Is there a part 2 for this? Anyway, I'm glad I watched this. I'm thinking about becoming an egg donor someday and IF I ever do, the first thing that I'm going to do is to register my information to the donor sibling registry and submitting my information into the agency database in case the child that resulted from my donation ever wanted to contact me. I'm so glad Brittan's parents were so open minded and not jealous of the bio mom and allowing Brittan to know her roots. Most recipients wouldn't even allow it or tell the kid about their conception which is sad, really.
Egg and sperm donors are assholes.
Hussein Toney If that's what you think, then you're entitled to that opinion. This is an old comment and I have since changed my mind about it but yeah...
Hussein Toney Yes, yes they are.
Disrespectful to her mom.
squelchieblue why? She wouldn't exsist without the donor. You can't just pretend they never existed. It was the parents choice to use the donor not the girl she has a right to know where she came from
Disrespectful to the child for making her feel like this just cause mom wanted a kid
DNA is DNA ..for very important reasons people should know where they have come from. The Egg/sperm donor situation creates a huge problem mainly for the children.
i feel that this is tough bc honestly it depends the child, some kids want to find their biological parents and some dont care. I just wished it was an Semi egg ID disclosure donor instead of anonymous. It really breaks my heart that this young lady cries for her bio egg donor mom instead of the mom who raised her and was by her side thick in thin. The mom constantly has to prove how much she loves her child. All I can say is some disicions are tough and hopefully she may never experience what her mother had to do to be a mother. What makes a family is love not your DNA and Blood, yes is nice to find a connection and have similar physical attributes that relate to our biological parents but please dont forget all those biological children who are being abused right now, before they even reach the social service.
I’ve been think of donating my eggs for a while now bc i would really love to help another women you couldn’t conceive on her own ! But a part of me feels like it would be similar to me giving my own children up for adoption.. they would still have my dna.
lol...by the fact that there is no continuation of this story I can assume that young Brittan learn the life hard truth, genetics dont guarantee that someone will love you, or even like you. Coming from the person that knows from personal experience, genetics mean nothing, connection with people (who people are) is everything.
Edit: I found online pictures of Brittan with donor egg woman and her mother, she looks more like her birth mother (power of epigenetics I am guessing) and in news letter "She has come to see Talbot as her “cool aunt.”" and this is not the first time I am hearing that donor children and donors consider themselves like aunts or something similar. And that's why I believe its good to support DC meeting their donors because then they will stop fantasizing about the person, for Brittan donor woman went from "biological mother" to “cool aunt”, Brittan whole world found new balance.
I looked it up. You are right about epigenetics.
Only few counties can provide sperm and egg donation. Most of the clinic can only suggest donation with frozen eggs and sperm. On the one hand, freezing can be a unique opportunity for women to postpone pregnancy indefinitely. So they would be able to give birth to a biological child in later years. Thus women would not need to worry about medical or social difficulties in her life. But if a person suffer from infertility freezing is not a way out. I know some infertile couples that underwent treatment with freezing in Spain. None of them gained positive results. Meanwhile there is clinic in Ukraine that works only with fresh eggs and sperm. They even give guarantee result. But it is possible to freeze sperm it is of high quality. I am sure that all donors must be anonymous. It can protect donor to some extent. In Ukraine the donors are anonymous, too. You can only get phenotype description and very few personal information. Also donors must have at least one their healthy child. However it is a big stress for women organism. There can be risks for her health. That’s why clinic should be very careful and responsible in selecting the donor. In order not to damage donor’s health.
Ukrainian fertility clinics are unethical and have left babies with deformities in orphanages. They pay minimal and take advantage of the uneducated poverty stricken areas. End human trafficking and genetic sales!!!!
@Siyovaxsh En-sipad-zid-ana Life is messy, and no one is normal. :) A lot of infertile people end up aging out of their prime reproductive years, (even when "married early in life") while going through treatments/trying. There are also other infertility oddballs like early menopause, which happens more often than people think.
I don't think it's disrespectful to want to know something that is apart of you. She expressed that her mother is mother and she loves her. And to want to know her biological mother isn't selfish, it's natural human curiosity. She never said she's gonna replace the mother that raised her; she simply wants to know more about the person that helped her even be here today. Some of your comments on here is so hateful and its obvious you never thought what it must be like for the girl.
Sarah Crystal exactly. thank you for commenting this
Order a DNA kit on myheritage.com and have a look in their database after. Many people might find out who is their bio-mom-dad/donor. Before they could hide and be anonymous donors, but now everything took a turn with the public DNA databases :)
Exactly. This is the main point I think of constantly when I hear “anonymous” These donor companies can no longer in good faith ever promise anonymity so long as these public dna databases exist.
Well I though she was going to get to meet her on here??? And then the video just shuts off and no other video?
Surrogacy is an astounding treatment to have babies. I am glad that individuals are currently mindful of such procedures. It will be surely a thrilling experience to go for surrogacy.
You had both your parents didn't you Cole?
If her parents had wanted to know her, they wouldn't have donated there eggs. The women who gave birth to her is her mother.
Shanna Greer No she is not, she's merely the person who purchased her eggs.
+Ashley Casey Your a fucking idiot she carried her for 9 months and raised her but then again your an idiot
Ashley Casey There is more to being a mother than just being biologically related. I'm sorry you can't comprehend that.
Shanna Greer really then why do her and so many people who are actual products of adoption, surrogacy and donors feel that they have been lied and cheated? And why doesn't that logic works backwards? If genetics don't matter, why do so many people want their own genetic children?
People try to acquire children like their possessions. It's sad they get so desperate they are willing to manipulate nature for their own self gratification
I cant believe u r so dark. Imagine u had a problem and wanted kids u wouldnt be talking like that.
How, the donor mom obviously didn’t have a problem with it, it’s not like anybody forced her to donate her egg she willingly agreed
She obviously didn’t want a child herself if she was willing to donate eggs
And there are women who have children that never wanted them and show they are a burden. You seem like you would be a burden.
I can't imagine the benefit of putting a child through that type of emotional turmoil. What utterly selfish parents (and donor). I hope all went well and she found her birthmother.
+Ashley Casey Birthmother? I think your obviously confused the egg is fertilized and placed in her mom her mom gave birth to her and raised her. God save us from ignorant people who are judgemental
It's one thing to grow up knowing you were adopted or conceived through doner eggs than to grow up not ever knowing that. Adoption and egg donation are to different things. The child has there birth parents, it's only the genetic material that was shared.
Shanna Greer _Two_ different things? And yes. It is different. In one circumstance the child is being separated by the birth family for money, another is just circumstance. But both parties suffer the same way. Do you not understand the egg donor is the child's biological mother, and this isn't like donating blood? The genetic material isn't 'shared', you can't 'share' procreation. The birthmother legally gives up all her parental rights and disowns any resulting children for money. It wows me how stupid you all are.
Birth Mother your a fucking idiot the fertilize the egg "invitro" they place it in the intended mothers uterus for implantation. Furthermore Ashley the legal system in this country clearly disagrees with your views. You used the word procreation which shows your views stem from religion which is great but thats your religious views and other people do not have to accept them, because this not south korea you twit and people can choose what is right or wrong they don't need you insulting them and choosing for them
She looks like birth mom
1st Comment.
Her clothes are inappropriate but, I really like her name.
Lexie grey?