I kind of went off the rails by the time I got to telling, but hope this helps you regardless! TIMESTAMPS: Dialogue issues (tags, white room syndrome, telling) 02:59 Scene function & filler 09:45 Writing a lot while communicating very little 18:06 Repetitive, basic sentence style 28:16 Varied sentence examples 31:50 Wall-to-wall telling (distance in your writing) 36:31 Narrate vs. dramatize example 39:20 Final pep talk 46:45
How do you know if a critique partner or beta reader is just trolling you or throwing you off or is actually serious about their criticisms? Thank you, this was a wonderful video! Very helpful 😊
But what if the story is a slice of life that is suppose to have those cute filler-like scenes while the plot goes forward little bit? For example: a family has gathered around a dinner table talking about this and that until someone of the family slips an information of an old unsolved murder case which seems to have no meaning then but later on the same old unsolved murder case comes into play again when something happens. Or example 2: characters are in the festival, all dressed up nicely. They play games, tell jokes and such. Nothing of much related to the plot. Then one of them has a vision about what has happened a long time ago. Example 3 is tied to the first two: seeminly meaningless to the plot is death of a woman who is later found by police and they don't think much of the death either. You would think she was just a very minor character until later on it is found she had more important role to the story. Can you quess what?
@@razariasat3295 The best way to have words is to start! I’m also working on my first story and it took me a while to actually get started. See if you can write just one word or scene that inspires you and go from there if you have to! We got this :)
@@Aeiouaaaaaaaaa I completely agree, once I get a basic outline of the plot, I do intend to start immediately and see where it goes, also best of luck to you chum.
Hey, I really like this video since I struggle with these but I have a question, is there any video that you've done with more visual examples? I felt like when you showed basic examples (specially with the telling and not telling) it gave me a sense of what it could look like. Thank you!!
Wow, I didn't realize she smiled, he glared, etc are signs of telling. My stories are littered with them! How do you convey the way someone looks while saying or doing something without using or relying on "telling" language?
Alexa! I have the same issue with not owning a Mac computer BUT I use DaVinci Resolve to edit my videos and it’s FREE. You can do a ton of effects and it’s pretty easy to pick up and learn. Thanks for sharing your secrets I was definitely surprised to hear about your Alexa woes 😂 we need more cat content plz
HELP PLEASE! What if you never wrote anything before, not even a fanfiction, and suddenly decided that "the strage dream you had the other night" was worth remembering? Then after writing it down you think "oh crap my writing sucks, I should rewrite this, at least to make it readable" but you never intended to let someone read it anyway? It was just for "personal use" like a diary, but only for dreams, that I can go and read once in a while.(no I did not even had a diary as a child/teen so I'm a proper noob). What should I do? Do I learn to write and then just keep it to myself? Should I let someone read it? Cause I don't think I'll ever be interested in becoming a published author. Is it worth improoving a skill that I'll probably never use?
Write the story for you, for your own satisfaction and the sense of being able to say ‘I did that!’. Then, once you’re finished, see how you feel about sharing it. If you want to let someone read it, then do, but if you end up deciding that it’s a personal project that you want to keep to yourself then that’s fine too :) Write primarily for yourself and secondarily for others ❤️
@@PrettyAndOrOdd 😯😧 I think that I'd like to write this properly, but I don't know how long it will take and I'm afraid I won't find enough time to write it and I'll end up just leaving it unfinished. Thank you by the way, I'll consider it a hobbie just to make me happy and hope one day I'll get to the end. 😌
Don't worry about what others think. Write it if you want, share it if you want. Either way, it's a great accomplishment. It doesn't matter how "well" it's written.
5:14 just avoiding names at all cost can lead to a different problem though. Many fanfiction writers just replace the names with attributes and go "the taller...the shorter...the blonde...the brunette...the older...the younger..."
I like longer videos like this too. It allows me to listen while doing mindless lab work. This i am able to see my book in my head and changes I may need to make. Thanks Alexa
I allow myself to use filter words and lazy adverbs in the first draft 😁- it helps me tell the story and keep up with it as it tumbles out and then I go back through the draft upon editing and craft better sentences, eliminate the lazy adverbs, repetition and working on making the descriptions better where I might have used cheap filter words just to get through the scene. Maybe my first drafts just function as very in depth outlines? I love getting through that first very rough draft so I can spend more time on craft- it’s the best part!
I wanted a character to react emotionally to something she SAW and to how it contrasted with everything else she SAW earlier in that scene. So I used that filter word a few times. I couldn't just say "There was this thing, and she reacted" because the thing was offscreen and implied.
Yes! I over describe EVERYTHING in my first draft so that way lager I can choose what I actually need and what is not needed but I can rest easy knowing I have alot of options for descriptions or the way someone says something.
A noob mistake I have discovered is introducing a billion characters at once. Like, calm down. Let me get to to know these three first, THEN introduce the rest later. Jeez... Oh, the ineffective sentences. That's me! *raises hand* I have, in editing, realized just how much I'm repeating myself, basically saying the same thing again and again but in different ways, or needlessly reminding the reader about stuff that's apparent anyway. At least I have learned to spot those things and I'm cutting down my novel in length by hundreds of words per day I edit. XD Which is good, because a lot of my overwriting problems come from this ineffective writing.
I see what you did there. Which means I saw your joke and now I'm commenting on it. Because I understood your joke, so I had to tell you that I liked it.
I love “purple language” confusing and ineffective sentences can be pretty powerful sometimes Personally I think Lovecraft stories use the flowery and confusing complex sentences to instil a feeling of madness in the reader. Especially if his stories are heard not read, the reader can’t follow it all easily its sort of becomes a meta narrative that parallels the descent into madness that so many of his stories are about
Yes, but in the case of lovecraft it appears to be on purpose (for the most part. Some of his language is blatantly there to show off his vocabulary, cause by all accounts he was a stuck up elitist). The purple language in his case was deliberate, to give a sense of the alien. It isn't enough to say 'big' because the english language doesn't have words to describe this thing, but cyclopian is a sufficiently weird word to convey "dude this thing is bigger than I could possibly describe" lol. I think what Alexa was refering to is putting flowery words in when ordinary words would suffice just to make the reader go "this guy's really smart" (as I said Lovecraft is definitely guilty of this in places haha). For me it comes down to "can you explain the thing using less words?" then break out the thesaurus. "does this sentence need five, four syllable words to convey the action of turning on the television?" lol then don't do it haha
Not even too far into the video and I'm already chuckling. I've had more than one debate with an editing client over strengthening their writing by addressing these things. Some authors are so fixated on "their style" they can't see there are better ways.
Does that mean you’re an editor? I’m curious about writing and kinda took a peek behind the curtains at the writing/editing/publishing side of things and it kind of spooked me ha ha. There’s so much going on that I don’t know of
Me _before_ watching this video: "I think I'm doing pretty well with my first novel." Me _after_ watching this video: "Oh dear god, I'm going to have to rewrite the whole thing, aren't I?"
I'm beta reader. Every time I take a new novel to read, its crazy bc they have the SAME mistakes. Sometimes I have to literally give the same advice twice. Adjectives, info dumping, exposition, dialogue and narration. The big five. Classic.
You could make a copy/paste list of advice for different mistakes. Tailor it to the specific mistake, of course, but maybe that’ll save you some time and frustration.
Oh my goodness, yes! The dark side of show don’t tell. Writing effectively. I see this ALL THE TIME as a book editor. Writing concisely and saying what you mean instead of trying to sound flowery is sooooo much better and waaaay less confusing! Thank you for highlighting this!
It's been three years since your comment and I still haven't finished this video. Today I'm determined to go the distance & I'm nearly there. Edit: I've completed the challenge yellow towel buddy! A heartfelt 100% cotton high-five!
Don't be the one that writes any of these: "Yes," she confirmed, nodding her head in agreement. Suddenly, and without warning, ... He sprinted as fast as he could. felt like an eternity. The sword sliced his arm which caused him to let out a yell that was very loud.
Quick fix’s. She nodded. “Yes.” It was sudden, He catapulted forward Moons went by The bite of the sword caused him to howl out in pain, the blood dripping like hot lava down his shoulder.
Purposed fixes: "Ok" It happened super dooper very extremely quickly He ran super dooper very extremely quickly What just happened wasn't super dooper very extremely quick Sword hit arm he go "ow" I'll be seeing you from the top of NY Times Best Sellers
I’ve been writing for a while and I’ve found that taking a break by watching a show or reading a different authors work, is a great way to refresh your brain. Great video, I took a lot of notes.Thank you for the tips!
I just did my first BETA reading a few weeks ago. The first few chapters were hard to read because of overuse of purple prose. I let her know that and the criticism was well received. I hope she chooses to tone it down.
I'm trying to judge whether or not I use too much prose and stray into the use of _purple_ prose instead, what did you recognize in their writing that almost always appears when prose becomes too thick?
@@ferrin6326 sorry. Just now got to this comment. Basically, I had to stop and re-read sections multiple times because I couldn't catch her meaning at times. She used too many words when one would do, or used descriptions that could be replaced with straightforward words (like blue eyes instead of comparing them to something in nature... just say blue! ). I'm a Brandon Sanderson fan, so I definitely prefer straight forward language. Too many metaphors, similes, etc and I feel removed from the story.
There was once when I commented on a person's description of a voice and I said something like: This voice is strong, soft, booming, dark, powerful, loud, etc... is this person God? Because the voice was everything! XD It can get too much sometimes. lol. In editing my own novel, I've removed SO much he felt, she realized, they saw, they heard, etc. It's often not needed.
You really called me out on the info dumping lmaoo. I started a new project and I felt it being info dumpy when I wrote it but I condensed it thank god
I was writing a fic while watching this, and I realized I was doing so many things that would make it harder to read. For example, I just wrote this sentence: "He was then able to grab the linens and dress himself in them" which could be changed to "He dressed himself in the linens" I am definitely guilty of long, meandering sentences that don't do much.
I am trying to write a first novel, finishing a career as a physician and trying to do something different and creative. As a non writer, i did not realize how much detail there is below the level that you absorb but only on an unconscious level and you as a writer must bring it to the foreground. your video was fantastic and the lacing of examples made your lessons so much more effective. i had scrivener up and was adding to my novel writing mistake folder (a big one even before starting the actual novel). Thank you for this.
The thing I love and appreciate most about this video is that you actually give advice on how to fix and improve the mistakes mentioned. There are countless videos on youtube that cover all these amateur mistakes, which is fine. However rarely do any of them give constructive ways to improve. I am the type of learner that needs examples. So when a youtuber says, "don't do this" I think, "okay, give me a bad example and tell me why that example does not work. Now show me a good example and tell me why it does work." People cannot get better if you just tell them they are doing something wrong. They also need solutions. So thank you for taking so much time to do this!
I don’t know why but I thought this was going to be 15mins long but I burst my fetters when I realized it’s nearly an hour of insight. You’re amazing, thanks for your hard work and wisdom.
I was just thinking how rain can mean vulnerability (The Notebook, ‘I wrote you everyday,’ and the proposal from Pride and Prejudice), and how I myself feel uncomfortable if the rain is too warm because I only really feel that way in the shower, so I rewrote the sentence to read, “The summer shower is so warm, I feel like I’m bathing. I look down to check that my clothes are still there, that he can’t see right through to my core.”
It doesn’t rain during the proposal scene in pride prejudice, I think you are thinking of the movie. Not really important, just thought I would mention. Good luck with your book :)
There is one particular case in which I actually LIKE passive writing. If, for instance, you put it there on purpose to put mystery. For instance: "Yes, Anna had worked really hard on that project, and when she sent it in she was practically sure it would be a hit. But, somehow, months passed - winter came, then spring, and at some point during that time her work must have been put aside, forgotten, (gotten rid of), and in June she recieved a letter telling her that, since she had failed to apply, she was taken out of the competition. " (put the stuff in parenthesis in strike-through) In that specific case, since the passive voice is used, the reader is led to wonder who in particular did all this - because it sounds very deliberate
The thing is, there are successful writers out there who are doing some of the things you caution against. I started reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. I found the first fifty pages a horrible experience. There's a massive info dump of backstories about characters that don't even feature in the main story. I can't process a story which introduces fifty different characters. So I gave up. I find that Lee Child's Reacher books are the exact opposite. He tells us almost nothing about a character's back story. All we know about them is what we see of them in the scene.
Scene function was by far by biggest struggle when I embarked on writing my first book in my teens. I wasn’t someone who plotted out my story and its details. As such, I was always mesmerized when I read people’s work where the characterization was driven forward in each scene to an eventual payoff at the end where the writing choices in each scene felt deliberate. Outlining extensively has helped me with this TREMENDOUSLY and my scenes hold deeper meaning for the characters and narrative as a while now rather than just being “okay gotta fill some space in my book now”.
Pick up a random book from your favorite writer and search for when they use one of the pitfalls explained in this video. The only rule when writing is that there are no rules! ;P
Yes , for me I hate repeating “said”, it sounds so lame lol- even when I’ve also shown the emotion, I have a habit of using a descriptive word. When I read it back, I don’t even “see” it.
I love this! I have literally done...all of these. 🤦🏻♀️ 🤣 Probably because I started as a Fan-fic writer. I went into my own projects knowing I had SOOO MUCH to learn, but at least this shows me some of what to be aware of. Very helpful. Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
How do minimize *telling* when writing in the third person? Also, what do you do when character development is the centerpiece of the novel and the plot is secondary? For instance, in an erotic romance the story is about a mafia guy who does mafia things, but the part that the readers are interested in is how he changes as a person.
I know that I believe a lot of amateur writing comes from writers that watch more than read. We are flooded with shows, movies, and entertainment, as well as packages to be able to afford all of them. I believe if writers want to improve their writing, watch less and read more, do writing exercises, and listen to mentorship. This video serves as great coaching! thank you!
You look gorgeous! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all you do for us. 50 minutes of help is exactly what I need, and it mustn't be easy to do with a full-time job and books to write. You're brilliant.
Based on your description, I guess I'd be a 202 writer. I've written and published three books thus far, and well into my fourth, but I still have a lot to learn. that's what I love about the creative process, learning and improving are ongoing. I'm glad I found your podcasts and subscribed. I will be a regular listener. I do have a question, however, what do you think of authors using Grammarly Premium?
I'll argue that not every scene or bit of dialog has to contribute to the plot. Filler can help flesh out the world or the character(s) and increase reader investment.
Alexa, I think this is hands down the best video you've done to date, and might be one of my favourite writing craft videos on youtube. I love that you included examples. Also how in depth the entire video is. Seriously, fifty minutes?! This took effort and time. Thank you so much for this incredibly helpful video. I feel like I won't be the only one rewatching while I edit my manuscript.
My dialogue writing infuriates my writer's group. It's less like a novel, and more like a comic book. I honestly don't think it's that bad of a practice. Right?
Would love to hear from some other writers, how much do you think about this stuff when you’re drafting? I know that in editing this is the crucial stuff, but I’m curious how much people keep the “goodness” of the writing in mind during drafting?
Hi! I'm a writer and I think about this stuff in my first draft a lot. If I read back a chapter, page, or paragraph I'm drafting and the rhythm and pacing don't sound right, I can't keep going. Stuff like lack of variety in sentence structure or purple prose REALLY bother me, so I like to fix it as soon as I see it. For me, taking the time to reread and identify the problem is the "hardest" part, and fixing it is often (not always) pretty simple once I notice there's something to fix. Imo there's no right way to do it, I am just someone who cares about writing quality as much as story, so just like how I would delete a scene right away if I realized it was taking the story in the wrong direction, I delete/edit writing that is taking the sound/flow in the wrong direction, too. To me, it's not like constantly referring to a set of rules, it's hearing the writing in my head.
I try to stay mindful so editing isn't a nightmare and I always seek to improve my writing style. I have found that it helps when I do my best and later discover ways to enhance my writing with tips like these.
I'm still traumatised from having to slog through more than 2 pages about a pot plant on a window sill in a book about detectives that I read over a decade ago... And no, the pot plant and the window sill did not appear again after pages of being described.
Haha you think that's bad! Victor Hugo in Les Misérables spends 100 pages describing the entirety of the Battle of Waterloo beat by beat. It has absolutely nothing to do with the plot and could've been shortened to the last couple of pages at the end where a side character briefly appears. Very frustrating to get through. However, Victor Hugo is one of the few writers who can get away with such a ridiculous tangent because Les Misérables is genuinely a masterpiece.
Regarding dialogue, does it matter if you say "Bob said" or "said Bob"? I've seen both in really popular books, but I didn't know if one was more professional than the other.
At the Janice Hardy - Fiction University blog, there's an article about dialogue tags that mentions this. Both are fine, and iirc it basically boiled down to "Bob said," being faster paced and focusing on *who* said, whereas "said Bob," creates a slower pace and the focus is on *what* is being said. If I find the article again I'll link to it. Though, regardless, I recommend checking out Fiction University, it's got some of the most easily accessible breakdowns of writing craft that I've ever seen.
This was an amazing and thought provoking video. I *know* I have telling issues but having these specific examples is so helpful. I was mentally pinpointing problem areas and possible fixes the entire time already. These are definitely some of my favorite videos, they're so motivating!
I feel called out during the info-dumping part. In my current WIP I fleshed out two whole chapters of flashback in act 1 because I wanted to reach a specific word count... I'm itching to edit it right now but I know it'll halt my drafting progress.
Not knowing the difference between an action tag and a dialogue tag is genuinely the most common mistake I see. I’m guilty of it, too, if I get lazy. I’m a fanfiction reader/writer and it is *so* rampant in the fanfiction sphere. There’s just so much bloat in a lot of the works I find but the best rated ones are typically the most edited and least bloated… who would have thought? Lol
Thanks for this Alexa, just wrote a ton of notes. I had to laugh at your second point, since I just finished a scene last night that pretty much serves no plot related point, but just is a nice moment between two characters. Now I'm itching to get into edits, but I want to finish the draft first.
@@iferawhite7661 it's worth the wait. it is soooo satisfying, because otherwise you'll keep finding more bits you want to fix.... but you can always put in a big fat highlighted note/comment saying FIX THIS with some general idea on what to put in it, without having to rewrite yet :D
I wrote a book and decided to leave it alone and start a new project. I didn’t write the book to publish it, just to practice. Would it benefit my writing skills to go back and edit it? Maybe I could have my friends pick a number from 1-28, and I’d edit the chapter they pick rather than trying to tackle story structure with it. I’d rather practice better structure and pacing with a new project than go back and confront a mess I never plan on taking any further.
It's 100% okay to use examples of others' writing provided that you give them credit and are using the quote in a positive way. What to make a writer happy? Read a passage, explain why you think it's great, then put a link to where your viewers can buy the book. What your viewers get are different approaches to a specific and tricky problem. Everyone wins. Keep the quotes short like no more than a paragraph.
A question to the floor on editing. I have finished a "draft". I had no clue what to do next, and looked up self editing advice and found a lot of inconsistent tips... so I just decided first things first was to read the whole thing without editing, and in a document writing all the fixes I think it needs. This "fixes" document is 7k. I highlighted the text in red, and now going through and slowly ticking off everything I need to do. Is this useful you think?
I think the funniest dialogue tag I've run across is "shrieked articulately." Sometimes you can combine a dialogue verb with an adverb and you *do* get something really good. "Shrieked articulately", on the other hand, feels like an oxymoron (unless your character is a pterodactyl with a Master's Degree in 19th-century Russian Literature- in which case, carry on!)
This was such a great video. You have done an excellent job of explaining everything, and the examples you used were very helpful. As a side note, I love seeing Battlestar Galactica on your shelf.
I liked the description of rain on her skin. "Ooh, she's naked!" I may adapt your line: She shook her head as if to clear it. I shook my head to clear it. It didn't work. I write crime fiction, not YA, but I know the rules and break them if I need to. When I used to line edit for other writers, I'd always ask, "Do you want me to be brutally honest or be delicate?" Most would go for the former, but wish later for the latter. Such is life and egos bruise so easily. One noted, "I send you a page to read and you send back three of comments." I don't edit anymore. I'm 70 and really have to get on with my own writing while I have the time and energy. ~ Jon in rural BC, Canada
when they say brutally honest, they probably don't expect you will critique them so much to the point of basically having to change their entire writing style.
@@katgreer6113 Of course, but if their writing is full of grammatical and spelling errors, they really have to buck-up and learn. But I always say at the beginning of a critique: These are suggestions to help you, take and leave what you want. Most take and are grateful for the help.
The most amateur mistake a writer can make is to consider herself to be anything but. I am sorry to say, but the examples of your writing reek of YA fanfiction stronger than a 14y.o's scrapbooked fan-zine. Nothing in there was in any way evocative. Extremely subjective, yes, but you have opened the gates for this yourself.
I'm not sure if this has anything to do with what you mentioned in the video, but it might so- Do you necessarily need to come up with a full plot for a story? I usually don't and just go off with what pops into my head in that moment. Normally, I have a hard time thinking of a whole story line and an even harder time thinking of fillers for said story. It's probably a dumb question and the answer should be obvious- Really, I just need the basic things on how to help brainstorm to come up with better fillers/story plots :,)
as an. add-on, on masterclass dot com, Neil Gaiman (Coraline, American God's, Good Omens, neverwhere, Stardust) suggests to go ahead and tell. If you want to tell, then, tell. You're the God of that page and YOU decide the level of detail and what the reader should know. Hope this helps others.
I did notice a lot of theses mistakes in a book I read recently. The entire thing felt like boring fillers even when something that was meant to be exciting happened. I could only force my self to get half way through, because nothing happened that wasn’t given away by the back of the book or written so boringly it wasn’t interesting. I like a boring book with just some school-girl problems but not when it’s advertised as a thriller.
I control f'd my document and searched for "Had" after listening to the part at around 22 minutes, and I found 25 "Hads" in around 20 or so pages. After closer inspection, most of them were unnecessary. Thank you so much :)
I feel like it's all about balance. Being descriptive enough while avoiding sophomoric writing. I've read some newer novels that I didn't like because they were too stripped down and they starved me as a reader. I wasn't engaged because I couldn't see the writer's world it was blank, bland, and lacked flavor.
The only problem with cutting your language down to the bare minimum, in other words writing at the 5th-grade level, is that you get no Pulitzers. I like listening to you, but you do not write anything I would ever read.
Pardon me but I don't write on a 5th grade writing level. I have a Bachelor's degree, Magna Cum Laude, from one of the best journalism schools in the country, thank you very much. You don't have to like my fiction writing style, but please don't insult me because you are a literary elitist. I am so sorry that I fail to write literary prose that satisfies your personal taste.
Show don't Tell is Mood. Always remember the target mood. If a moment in a scene doesn't contribute to that mood, hurdle over telling just that part. First person is the Narrator orating/after dinner speaking their story to an unknown audience. You need the tricks a good public speaker uses to break up repeative construction.
The best friend of my protagonist is keeping a lot of secrets neither the readers nor the main character knows about. I'm thinking of him revealing all those secrets (that explain some of his previous actions) within a dialog but I'm afraid that it's gonna be a lot of info at once?... And also that conversation would be greatly one sided so I'm quite unsure if that's the right way of doing it... (sorry for any mistakes, my mothertongue is German)
I've only got 13 mins into your video, and one that can cut this video a lot shorter is to read your story into a webcam. And listen and watch yourself after. I've been doing it for nearly a month now, and have made improvements, thou I still have a long way to go
Great advice. Funny, I've read many best sellers and for that matter, watched many new streaming shows, that just go over the same old ground to the point nauseum. I either put the book down or go to what may be a better show. Tell me, is it the lack of imagination among writers? Or story editors?
There is a huge difference between not much happening in a sceen and it beeing meaningless filler. Especialy in a fast paceing action heavy high stakes story, you will need breathers and room for the more subtil and tender parts of a story. Also as long as a sceen does not feel hollow and boreieng its full meaning and impact do not have to be aimed at the moment you read them, instead they can work as setup. Relationship development needs calmer moments with not as much else going on . . . often authors rely on big gestures and full on drama and than the relationship tends to feel oversold or wihout substance in contrast to slowely building it up in a more natural way.
25:13 *Same.* This was extremely informative and I found myself unable to stop listening (a big deal for me - lately - with longer videos). Thank-you so much for this. :)
Great info! I realize this is the style of the time, but I've always found it strange that in modern commercial writing complicated verbs are encouraged everywhere except in dialog tags. If "I raced home" is preferable to "I ran home swiftly," shouldn't "He whispered" be preferable to "He said." I realize it's not, but it seems like there's more going on here than a simple rule can encapsulate.
I think in the case of “I raced home”, it’s a smarter use of language than tacking an adverb, ie. “swiftly”, onto a verb. As for dialogue tags, my philosophy is that complicating the tags a) undermines the ability to indicate emotion and tone in the actual line of dialogue, and b) detracts from the actual content of the dialogue and the flow of the scene. You’ll find in lots of books that an extended conversation only uses about two tags and then just has the dialogue back and forth with no tags. It’s entirely instinctual (and a personal and stylistic choice), so it’s just about developing it, tbh.
@@jjaacckkmm I agree with everything except it being entirely instinctual. I think there's got to be a good technical reason behind it. Like sports announcers tend to use the same verb for the same action "he shoots... he scores." It would get annoying if they said it differently everytime. And I think it's interesting that we've adopted the convention that in a paragraph were someone takes an action, and it's followed by an unattributed quote, it's understood that the subject of the previous sentence is the one speaking. Virtually every writer does it, but I've never seen it explained formally when teaching writing.
In The Brothers Karamazov, Dostoievski spends 2 chapters just showing father Zossima (a priest and secondary character) doing deeds of charity. It doesn't 'advance' the plot, but it creates a deep emotional picture of this man's holiness and compassion towards the needy, so that later when Fedor Karamazov disrespects him, you get a shocking reaction from Fedor's deviousness. Those chapters had an artistic purpose on the plot, because writing is not just conveying information (advancing the plot).
🤔Oh man, I have noticed recently HAD is definitely one of my crutch words lol yay for first draft of first book construction and editing 🤣 still lovin it! Thanks Alexa for such a nitty gritty great vid with examples!
![CAMPปลิ้น | EP.82[1/2] แก๊ง 3 สาวเพื่อนซี้บุก CAMPปลิ้นครั้งนี้ห้ามเสียอาการ](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/_6WUjXHe1TM/mqdefault.jpg)
![[TH] FS vs BME - VCT Ascension Pacific - Lower Bracket Final](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wnygqsR2Fig/mqdefault.jpg)
I kind of went off the rails by the time I got to telling, but hope this helps you regardless! TIMESTAMPS: Dialogue issues (tags, white room syndrome, telling) 02:59 Scene function & filler 09:45 Writing a lot while communicating very little 18:06 Repetitive, basic sentence style 28:16 Varied sentence examples 31:50 Wall-to-wall telling (distance in your writing) 36:31 Narrate vs. dramatize example 39:20 Final pep talk 46:45
How do you know if a critique partner or beta reader is just trolling you or throwing you off or is actually serious about their criticisms? Thank you, this was a wonderful video! Very helpful 😊
Thank you! This helped me assure a few points. :D
I really like the openness and honesty you portrayed towards the end. 😊👍
All so valuable. Made notes and have an added mode of attack as I go through edits when 1st draft is finally done! Thank you!
Off the rails is when you spill the good stuff for us :))
But what if the story is a slice of life that is suppose to have those cute filler-like scenes while the plot goes forward little bit?
For example: a family has gathered around a dinner table talking about this and that until someone of the family slips an information of an old unsolved murder case which seems to have no meaning then but later on the same old unsolved murder case comes into play again when something happens.
Or example 2: characters are in the festival, all dressed up nicely. They play games, tell jokes and such. Nothing of much related to the plot. Then one of them has a vision about what has happened a long time ago.
Example 3 is tied to the first two: seeminly meaningless to the plot is death of a woman who is later found by police and they don't think much of the death either. You would think she was just a very minor character until later on it is found she had more important role to the story. Can you quess what?
"writing a lot but communicating very little" *sweats nervously with my 200k word count*
"sweats nervously with my 200k word count" me: *sweats nervously with my 0 word count*
@@razariasat3295 The best way to have words is to start! I’m also working on my first story and it took me a while to actually get started. See if you can write just one word or scene that inspires you and go from there if you have to! We got this :)
@@Aeiouaaaaaaaaa I completely agree, once I get a basic outline of the plot, I do intend to start immediately and see where it goes, also best of luck to you chum.
would love to read that... have you had it published yet?
@Kiyo Takeda exactly the same problem with me!
Thank you for this. I've drafted my first book and am writing a second already while my first sits for future revision and this is all unreal helpful.
Hey, I really like this video since I struggle with these but I have a question, is there any video that you've done with more visual examples? I felt like when you showed basic examples (specially with the telling and not telling) it gave me a sense of what it could look like. Thank you!!
Only 1 tip in! And it's helped a bunch. Definitely subscribing. Even the comment section is full of advice
Wow, I didn't realize she smiled, he glared, etc are signs of telling. My stories are littered with them! How do you convey the way someone looks while saying or doing something without using or relying on "telling" language?
Honestly, this video could be one sentence:
Git gud.
Git gud is a deliberate misspelling of the phrase (to) get good (at something), based on an apparent “folksier” pronunciation of the phrase.
And you aren't struggling with your "voice"
Alexa! I have the same issue with not owning a Mac computer BUT I use DaVinci Resolve to edit my videos and it’s FREE. You can do a ton of effects and it’s pretty easy to pick up and learn.
Thanks for sharing your secrets I was definitely surprised to hear about your Alexa woes 😂 we need more cat content plz
HELP PLEASE! What if you never wrote anything before, not even a fanfiction, and suddenly decided that "the strage dream you had the other night" was worth remembering? Then after writing it down you think "oh crap my writing sucks, I should rewrite this, at least to make it readable" but you never intended to let someone read it anyway? It was just for "personal use" like a diary, but only for dreams, that I can go and read once in a while.(no I did not even had a diary as a child/teen so I'm a proper noob). What should I do? Do I learn to write and then just keep it to myself? Should I let someone read it? Cause I don't think I'll ever be interested in becoming a published author. Is it worth improoving a skill that I'll probably never use?
Write the story for you, for your own satisfaction and the sense of being able to say ‘I did that!’. Then, once you’re finished, see how you feel about sharing it. If you want to let someone read it, then do, but if you end up deciding that it’s a personal project that you want to keep to yourself then that’s fine too :) Write primarily for yourself and secondarily for others ❤️
@@PrettyAndOrOdd 😯😧 I think that I'd like to write this properly, but I don't know how long it will take and I'm afraid I won't find enough time to write it and I'll end up just leaving it unfinished.
Thank you by the way, I'll consider it a hobbie just to make me happy and hope one day I'll get to the end. 😌
Don't worry about what others think. Write it if you want, share it if you want. Either way, it's a great accomplishment. It doesn't matter how "well" it's written.
Excellent thank you
5:14 just avoiding names at all cost can lead to a different problem though. Many fanfiction writers just replace the names with attributes and go "the taller...the shorter...the blonde...the brunette...the older...the younger..."
I like longer videos like this. Sometimes I just need to hear someone talking at me for 50 minutes to calm myself down xD
I like longer videos like this too. It allows me to listen while doing mindless lab work. This i am able to see my book in my head and changes I may need to make. Thanks Alexa
@Freddie Buckenham I saw this comment and just had to say same! I have an interview in an hour and watching this video to calm down!
right lol. we gots this, keep writing!
Saaaame. The anxiety to be awesome right away is scary!
Clara Bryant I bet you're lonely
I allow myself to use filter words and lazy adverbs in the first draft 😁- it helps me tell the story and keep up with it as it tumbles out and then I go back through the draft upon editing and craft better sentences, eliminate the lazy adverbs, repetition and working on making the descriptions better where I might have used cheap filter words just to get through the scene.
Maybe my first drafts just function as very in depth outlines? I love getting through that first very rough draft so I can spend more time on craft- it’s the best part!
Same!
I think this is a good method!
I wanted a character to react emotionally to something she SAW and to how it contrasted with everything else she SAW earlier in that scene. So I used that filter word a few times. I couldn't just say "There was this thing, and she reacted" because the thing was offscreen and implied.
Yes! I over describe EVERYTHING in my first draft so that way lager I can choose what I actually need and what is not needed but I can rest easy knowing I have alot of options for descriptions or the way someone says something.
exactly this, I thought I was weird for doing this 😅
A noob mistake I have discovered is introducing a billion characters at once. Like, calm down. Let me get to to know these three first, THEN introduce the rest later. Jeez...
Oh, the ineffective sentences. That's me! *raises hand* I have, in editing, realized just how much I'm repeating myself, basically saying the same thing again and again but in different ways, or needlessly reminding the reader about stuff that's apparent anyway. At least I have learned to spot those things and I'm cutting down my novel in length by hundreds of words per day I edit. XD Which is good, because a lot of my overwriting problems come from this ineffective writing.
Funny how long this comment is, too.
@@0FynnFish0 XD
I see what you did there. Which means I saw your joke and now I'm commenting on it. Because I understood your joke, so I had to tell you that I liked it.
@@artlove1007 Haha! XD
Same. Can’t stand when a bunch of named characters step into the room.
I love “purple language”
confusing and ineffective sentences can be pretty powerful sometimes
Personally I think Lovecraft stories use the flowery and confusing complex sentences to instil a feeling of madness in the reader.
Especially if his stories are heard not read,
the reader can’t follow it all easily its sort of becomes a meta narrative that parallels the descent into madness that so many of his stories are about
Yes, but in the case of lovecraft it appears to be on purpose (for the most part. Some of his language is blatantly there to show off his vocabulary, cause by all accounts he was a stuck up elitist). The purple language in his case was deliberate, to give a sense of the alien. It isn't enough to say 'big' because the english language doesn't have words to describe this thing, but cyclopian is a sufficiently weird word to convey "dude this thing is bigger than I could possibly describe" lol. I think what Alexa was refering to is putting flowery words in when ordinary words would suffice just to make the reader go "this guy's really smart" (as I said Lovecraft is definitely guilty of this in places haha).
For me it comes down to "can you explain the thing using less words?" then break out the thesaurus. "does this sentence need five, four syllable words to convey the action of turning on the television?" lol then don't do it haha
Not even too far into the video and I'm already chuckling. I've had more than one debate with an editing client over strengthening their writing by addressing these things. Some authors are so fixated on "their style" they can't see there are better ways.
Poor thing, everyone thinks they’re Nabokov 🤣
Some writing "styles" are just bad writing :P
Alexa Donne TEA
Does that mean you’re an editor? I’m curious about writing and kinda took a peek behind the curtains at the writing/editing/publishing side of things and it kind of spooked me ha ha. There’s so much going on that I don’t know of
@@MonikaNelisDupont I am a freelance editor. My clients are a good mix of those seeking self-publishing and those who are querying agents.
Me _before_ watching this video: "I think I'm doing pretty well with my first novel."
Me _after_ watching this video: "Oh dear god, I'm going to have to rewrite the whole thing, aren't I?"
If it’s your first novel ever, this video was probably a checklist 🤣 Mine was, too
I'm beta reader. Every time I take a new novel to read, its crazy bc they have the SAME mistakes. Sometimes I have to literally give the same advice twice. Adjectives, info dumping, exposition, dialogue and narration. The big five. Classic.
Hey
Hey
(Make a chain)
You could make a copy/paste list of advice for different mistakes. Tailor it to the specific mistake, of course, but maybe that’ll save you some time and frustration.
@@zetjet9901 Hey
sorry, broke the chain
@Samara Hamilton heyy, I do portuguese only :/
Oh my goodness, yes! The dark side of show don’t tell. Writing effectively. I see this ALL THE TIME as a book editor. Writing concisely and saying what you mean instead of trying to sound flowery is sooooo much better and waaaay less confusing! Thank you for highlighting this!
Hey early buddies. No one has finished the video yet right when I'm typing. Let's get through the 50 mins guys! Lol
It's been three years since your comment and I still haven't finished this video. Today I'm determined to go the distance & I'm nearly there.
Edit: I've completed the challenge yellow towel buddy! A heartfelt 100% cotton high-five!
Don't be the one that writes any of these:
"Yes," she confirmed, nodding her head in agreement.
Suddenly, and without warning, ...
He sprinted as fast as he could.
felt like an eternity.
The sword sliced his arm which caused him to let out a yell that was very loud.
These are traumatic lol
Quick fix’s.
She nodded. “Yes.”
It was sudden,
He catapulted forward
Moons went by
The bite of the sword caused him to howl out in pain, the blood dripping like hot lava down his shoulder.
Purposed fixes:
"Ok"
It happened super dooper very extremely quickly
He ran super dooper very extremely quickly
What just happened wasn't super dooper very extremely quick
Sword hit arm he go "ow"
I'll be seeing you from the top of NY Times Best Sellers
@@behnzo1988 Your words make my eyes go "ow" and my ears super duper bleed a lot of blood
@@behnzo1988 this is actually a interesting way of writting
I’ve been writing for a while and I’ve found that taking a break by watching a show or reading a different authors work, is a great way to refresh your brain. Great video, I took a lot of notes.Thank you for the tips!
Its always great for an artist to get inspired.
I do that too.. when I get frustrated I watch a movie or read
True, tho I tend to use breaks as procrastination and I steal(very heavily) from the media I’m consuming(aka character names, dialogue, whole plots😂)
reading books in the genre i’m writing is always very helpful
Oh so when she said 'in depth' she really meant it lmao 🤣 love the topic btw
This is a whole podcast
I just did my first BETA reading a few weeks ago. The first few chapters were hard to read because of overuse of purple prose. I let her know that and the criticism was well received. I hope she chooses to tone it down.
I'm trying to judge whether or not I use too much prose and stray into the use of _purple_ prose instead, what did you recognize in their writing that almost always appears when prose becomes too thick?
@@ferrin6326 sorry. Just now got to this comment.
Basically, I had to stop and re-read sections multiple times because I couldn't catch her meaning at times. She used too many words when one would do, or used descriptions that could be replaced with straightforward words (like blue eyes instead of comparing them to something in nature... just say blue! ). I'm a Brandon Sanderson fan, so I definitely prefer straight forward language. Too many metaphors, similes, etc and I feel removed from the story.
Your makeup is so pretty!
It almost always is wow
There was once when I commented on a person's description of a voice and I said something like: This voice is strong, soft, booming, dark, powerful, loud, etc... is this person God? Because the voice was everything! XD It can get too much sometimes. lol. In editing my own novel, I've removed SO much he felt, she realized, they saw, they heard, etc. It's often not needed.
What?
Every time I watch an Alexa video I come away with a surge of creative writing energy. She's a wizard, lads.
You really called me out on the info dumping lmaoo. I started a new project and I felt it being info dumpy when I wrote it but I condensed it thank god
I was writing a fic while watching this, and I realized I was doing so many things that would make it harder to read. For example, I just wrote this sentence:
"He was then able to grab the linens and dress himself in them"
which could be changed to
"He dressed himself in the linens"
I am definitely guilty of long, meandering sentences that don't do much.
No one:
“Mama always said gardening was the root to happiness”
Me :
I found a pun 🤣 👁👄👁
I am trying to write a first novel, finishing a career as a physician and trying to do something different and creative. As a non writer, i did not realize how much detail there is below the level that you absorb but only on an unconscious level and you as a writer must bring it to the foreground. your video was fantastic and the lacing of examples made your lessons so much more effective. i had scrivener up and was adding to my novel writing mistake folder (a big one even before starting the actual novel). Thank you for this.
how did it go? 😲
This is a class and I'm taking notes! Excellent advice, always helpful to keep in mind.
*raises hand slowly to everything*
You stared directly into my soul with that section on filler scenes...
I absolutely LOVE using "incomplete" sentences. since my current project is in first person, it really does spice up sentence structure!
My first draft is always full of all these mistakes 😂 i never noticed until now but this video was really helpful and i know what to look for now
The thing I love and appreciate most about this video is that you actually give advice on how to fix and improve the mistakes mentioned. There are countless videos on youtube that cover all these amateur mistakes, which is fine. However rarely do any of them give constructive ways to improve. I am the type of learner that needs examples. So when a youtuber says, "don't do this" I think, "okay, give me a bad example and tell me why that example does not work. Now show me a good example and tell me why it does work." People cannot get better if you just tell them they are doing something wrong. They also need solutions. So thank you for taking so much time to do this!
I don’t know why but I thought this was going to be 15mins long but I burst my fetters when I realized it’s nearly an hour of insight.
You’re amazing, thanks for your hard work and wisdom.
I was just thinking how rain can mean vulnerability (The Notebook, ‘I wrote you everyday,’ and the proposal from Pride and Prejudice), and how I myself feel uncomfortable if the rain is too warm because I only really feel that way in the shower, so I rewrote the sentence to read, “The summer shower is so warm, I feel like I’m bathing. I look down to check that my clothes are still there, that he can’t see right through to my core.”
It doesn’t rain during the proposal scene in pride prejudice, I think you are thinking of the movie. Not really important, just thought I would mention. Good luck with your book :)
Were his eyes pointing in the direction of your core?
There is one particular case in which I actually LIKE passive writing. If, for instance, you put it there on purpose to put mystery. For instance: "Yes, Anna had worked really hard on that project, and when she sent it in she was practically sure it would be a hit. But, somehow, months passed - winter came, then spring, and at some point during that time her work must have been put aside, forgotten, (gotten rid of), and in June she recieved a letter telling her that, since she had failed to apply, she was taken out of the competition. " (put the stuff in parenthesis in strike-through)
In that specific case, since the passive voice is used, the reader is led to wonder who in particular did all this - because it sounds very deliberate
The thing is, there are successful writers out there who are doing some of the things you caution against. I started reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. I found the first fifty pages a horrible experience. There's a massive info dump of backstories about characters that don't even feature in the main story. I can't process a story which introduces fifty different characters. So I gave up. I find that Lee Child's Reacher books are the exact opposite. He tells us almost nothing about a character's back story. All we know about them is what we see of them in the scene.
Dostoyevski does this in karamazow brothers😂 i tried to imitate him but it went so bad and i learned my lesson
Scene function was by far by biggest struggle when I embarked on writing my first book in my teens. I wasn’t someone who plotted out my story and its details. As such, I was always mesmerized when I read people’s work where the characterization was driven forward in each scene to an eventual payoff at the end where the writing choices in each scene felt deliberate. Outlining extensively has helped me with this TREMENDOUSLY and my scenes hold deeper meaning for the characters and narrative as a while now rather than just being “okay gotta fill some space in my book now”.
I'm using these videos for my fanfiction and I appreciate them a lot, thank you
THIS is a veritable wealth of information and advice!!? I have to watch this a second time and take notes. DAMN! Thank you!
Pick up a random book from your favorite writer and search for when they use one of the pitfalls explained in this video. The only rule when writing is that there are no rules! ;P
Yes , for me I hate repeating “said”, it sounds so lame lol- even when I’ve also shown the emotion, I have a habit of using a descriptive word. When I read it back, I don’t even “see” it.
50 minutes of Alexa? yes.
I love this! I have literally done...all of these. 🤦🏻♀️ 🤣 Probably because I started as a Fan-fic writer. I went into my own projects knowing I had SOOO MUCH to learn, but at least this shows me some of what to be aware of. Very helpful. Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
RE: Inner dialog.... written in cursive?
As always Alexa, thank you for sharing your knowledge with us.
How do minimize *telling* when writing in the third person? Also, what do you do when character development is the centerpiece of the novel and the plot is secondary? For instance, in an erotic romance the story is about a mafia guy who does mafia things, but the part that the readers are interested in is how he changes as a person.
I know that I believe a lot of amateur writing comes from writers that watch more than read. We are flooded with shows, movies, and entertainment, as well as packages to be able to afford all of them. I believe if writers want to improve their writing, watch less and read more, do writing exercises, and listen to mentorship. This video serves as great coaching! thank you!
Even avid readers make these mistakes. Understanding the craft is a separate skill than enjoying someone else's work.
You look gorgeous! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all you do for us. 50 minutes of help is exactly what I need, and it mustn't be easy to do with a full-time job and books to write. You're brilliant.
We love you and your laugh is delightful, this video has already given me many ideas. As always, thanks!
Based on your description, I guess I'd be a 202 writer. I've written and published three books thus far, and well into my fourth, but I still have a lot to learn. that's what I love about the creative process, learning and improving are ongoing. I'm glad I found your podcasts and subscribed. I will be a regular listener. I do have a question, however, what do you think of authors using Grammarly Premium?
Hi Alexa, it would be cool to have you analyse a bad piece of writing, just going through it and making it better, bit by bit.
I'll argue that not every scene or bit of dialog has to contribute to the plot. Filler can help flesh out the world or the character(s) and increase reader investment.
Alexa, I think this is hands down the best video you've done to date, and might be one of my favourite writing craft videos on youtube.
I love that you included examples. Also how in depth the entire video is. Seriously, fifty minutes?! This took effort and time.
Thank you so much for this incredibly helpful video. I feel like I won't be the only one rewatching while I edit my manuscript.
My dialogue writing infuriates my writer's group. It's less like a novel, and more like a comic book. I honestly don't think it's that bad of a practice. Right?
Would love to hear from some other writers, how much do you think about this stuff when you’re drafting? I know that in editing this is the crucial stuff, but I’m curious how much people keep the “goodness” of the writing in mind during drafting?
Hi! I'm a writer and I think about this stuff in my first draft a lot. If I read back a chapter, page, or paragraph I'm drafting and the rhythm and pacing don't sound right, I can't keep going. Stuff like lack of variety in sentence structure or purple prose REALLY bother me, so I like to fix it as soon as I see it. For me, taking the time to reread and identify the problem is the "hardest" part, and fixing it is often (not always) pretty simple once I notice there's something to fix. Imo there's no right way to do it, I am just someone who cares about writing quality as much as story, so just like how I would delete a scene right away if I realized it was taking the story in the wrong direction, I delete/edit writing that is taking the sound/flow in the wrong direction, too. To me, it's not like constantly referring to a set of rules, it's hearing the writing in my head.
I try to stay mindful so editing isn't a nightmare and I always seek to improve my writing style. I have found that it helps when I do my best and later discover ways to enhance my writing with tips like these.
I'm still traumatised from having to slog through more than 2 pages about a pot plant on a window sill in a book about detectives that I read over a decade ago... And no, the pot plant and the window sill did not appear again after pages of being described.
Haha you think that's bad! Victor Hugo in Les Misérables spends 100 pages describing the entirety of the Battle of Waterloo beat by beat. It has absolutely nothing to do with the plot and could've been shortened to the last couple of pages at the end where a side character briefly appears. Very frustrating to get through. However, Victor Hugo is one of the few writers who can get away with such a ridiculous tangent because Les Misérables is genuinely a masterpiece.
Regarding dialogue, does it matter if you say "Bob said" or "said Bob"? I've seen both in really popular books, but I didn't know if one was more professional than the other.
At the Janice Hardy - Fiction University blog, there's an article about dialogue tags that mentions this.
Both are fine, and iirc it basically boiled down to "Bob said," being faster paced and focusing on *who* said, whereas "said Bob," creates a slower pace and the focus is on *what* is being said.
If I find the article again I'll link to it. Though, regardless, I recommend checking out Fiction University, it's got some of the most easily accessible breakdowns of writing craft that I've ever seen.
Writer Ducky wow that actually makes sense. Thanks for sharing.
Bob said goes first as an opener and said Bob goes after as a closer it all comes down to style essentially and what you feel flows better
This was an amazing and thought provoking video. I *know* I have telling issues but having these specific examples is so helpful. I was mentally pinpointing problem areas and possible fixes the entire time already. These are definitely some of my favorite videos, they're so motivating!
I feel called out during the info-dumping part. In my current WIP I fleshed out two whole chapters of flashback in act 1 because I wanted to reach a specific word count... I'm itching to edit it right now but I know it'll halt my drafting progress.
Not knowing the difference between an action tag and a dialogue tag is genuinely the most common mistake I see. I’m guilty of it, too, if I get lazy.
I’m a fanfiction reader/writer and it is *so* rampant in the fanfiction sphere. There’s just so much bloat in a lot of the works I find but the best rated ones are typically the most edited and least bloated… who would have thought? Lol
Thanks for this Alexa, just wrote a ton of notes. I had to laugh at your second point, since I just finished a scene last night that pretty much serves no plot related point, but just is a nice moment between two characters. Now I'm itching to get into edits, but I want to finish the draft first.
Gah same it's taking every bit of my soul not to go back and redo the shitty beginning of my book but I want to finish the first draft before I do--
@@iferawhite7661 it's worth the wait. it is soooo satisfying, because otherwise you'll keep finding more bits you want to fix.... but you can always put in a big fat highlighted note/comment saying FIX THIS with some general idea on what to put in it, without having to rewrite yet :D
Clicked so fast! Needed this to motivate me to write today!
spill the hot chocolate thank you so much!!!
This video is so detailed and amazing! Thanks Alexa!
I wrote a book and decided to leave it alone and start a new project. I didn’t write the book to publish it, just to practice. Would it benefit my writing skills to go back and edit it? Maybe I could have my friends pick a number from 1-28, and I’d edit the chapter they pick rather than trying to tackle story structure with it. I’d rather practice better structure and pacing with a new project than go back and confront a mess I never plan on taking any further.
It's 100% okay to use examples of others' writing provided that you give them credit and are using the quote in a positive way. What to make a writer happy? Read a passage, explain why you think it's great, then put a link to where your viewers can buy the book. What your viewers get are different approaches to a specific and tricky problem. Everyone wins. Keep the quotes short like no more than a paragraph.
Well, now I know I need to work on my show don't tell. This was a really informative video.
A question to the floor on editing. I have finished a "draft". I had no clue what to do next, and looked up self editing advice and found a lot of inconsistent tips... so I just decided first things first was to read the whole thing without editing, and in a document writing all the fixes I think it needs. This "fixes" document is 7k. I highlighted the text in red, and now going through and slowly ticking off everything I need to do.
Is this useful you think?
I think the funniest dialogue tag I've run across is "shrieked articulately." Sometimes you can combine a dialogue verb with an adverb and you *do* get something really good. "Shrieked articulately", on the other hand, feels like an oxymoron (unless your character is a pterodactyl with a Master's Degree in 19th-century Russian Literature- in which case, carry on!)
This was such a great video. You have done an excellent job of explaining everything, and the examples you used were very helpful. As a side note, I love seeing Battlestar Galactica on your shelf.
I liked the description of rain on her skin. "Ooh, she's naked!"
I may adapt your line: She shook her head as if to clear it.
I shook my head to clear it. It didn't work.
I write crime fiction, not YA, but I know the rules and break them if I need to.
When I used to line edit for other writers, I'd always ask, "Do you want me to be brutally honest or be delicate?"
Most would go for the former, but wish later for the latter. Such is life and egos bruise so easily.
One noted, "I send you a page to read and you send back three of comments."
I don't edit anymore. I'm 70 and really have to get on with my own writing while I have the time and energy.
~ Jon in rural BC, Canada
Nice.
when they say brutally honest, they probably don't expect you will critique them so much to the point of basically having to change their entire writing style.
@@katgreer6113 Of course, but if their writing is full of grammatical and spelling errors, they really have to buck-up and learn. But I always say at the beginning of a critique: These are suggestions to help you, take and leave what you want. Most take and are grateful for the help.
I keep coming back to this video, it’s so helpful when I’m editing! I can’t recommend it enough!!
The most amateur mistake a writer can make is to consider herself to be anything but. I am sorry to say, but the examples of your writing reek of YA fanfiction stronger than a 14y.o's scrapbooked fan-zine. Nothing in there was in any way evocative. Extremely subjective, yes, but you have opened the gates for this yourself.
I'm not sure if this has anything to do with what you mentioned in the video, but it might so-
Do you necessarily need to come up with a full plot for a story?
I usually don't and just go off with what pops into my head in that moment.
Normally, I have a hard time thinking of a whole story line and an even harder time thinking of fillers for said story.
It's probably a dumb question and the answer should be obvious-
Really, I just need the basic things on how to help brainstorm to come up with better fillers/story plots :,)
You sound like a Pantser, maybe try some Plotter techniques and see if they help? There are lots of helpful videos on this channel as well as others.
5 Pages of notes written. Now back to writing because the best advice you have ever given for me was JUST WRITE; so I will. Thanks Alexa xxx
as an. add-on, on masterclass dot com, Neil Gaiman (Coraline, American God's, Good Omens, neverwhere, Stardust) suggests to go ahead and tell. If you want to tell, then, tell. You're the God of that page and YOU decide the level of detail and what the reader should know. Hope this helps others.
I did notice a lot of theses mistakes in a book I read recently. The entire thing felt like boring fillers even when something that was meant to be exciting happened. I could only force my self to get half way through, because nothing happened that wasn’t given away by the back of the book or written so boringly it wasn’t interesting. I like a boring book with just some school-girl problems but not when it’s advertised as a thriller.
I control f'd my document and searched for "Had" after listening to the part at around 22 minutes, and I found 25 "Hads" in around 20 or so pages. After closer inspection, most of them were unnecessary. Thank you so much :)
I feel like it's all about balance. Being descriptive enough while avoiding sophomoric writing. I've read some newer novels that I didn't like because they were too stripped down and they starved me as a reader. I wasn't engaged because I couldn't see the writer's world it was blank, bland, and lacked flavor.
The only problem with cutting your language down to the bare minimum, in other words writing at the 5th-grade level, is that you get no Pulitzers. I like listening to you, but you do not write anything I would ever read.
Pardon me but I don't write on a 5th grade writing level. I have a Bachelor's degree, Magna Cum Laude, from one of the best journalism schools in the country, thank you very much. You don't have to like my fiction writing style, but please don't insult me because you are a literary elitist. I am so sorry that I fail to write literary prose that satisfies your personal taste.
Show don't Tell is Mood. Always remember the target mood. If a moment in a scene doesn't contribute to that mood, hurdle over telling just that part.
First person is the Narrator orating/after dinner speaking their story to an unknown audience. You need the tricks a good public speaker uses to break up repeative construction.
The best friend of my protagonist is keeping a lot of secrets neither the readers nor the main character knows about. I'm thinking of him revealing all those secrets (that explain some of his previous actions) within a dialog but I'm afraid that it's gonna be a lot of info at once?... And also that conversation would be greatly one sided so I'm quite unsure if that's the right way of doing it...
(sorry for any mistakes, my mothertongue is German)
I love the advice and your dazzling eyeshadow. 😍
I love the deep dive and truly enjoy how you took the time to get into it.
I've only got 13 mins into your video, and one that can cut this video a lot shorter is to read your story into a webcam. And listen and watch yourself after. I've been doing it for nearly a month now, and have made improvements, thou I still have a long way to go
Great advice. Funny, I've read many best sellers and for that matter, watched many new streaming shows, that just go over the same old ground to the point nauseum. I either put the book down or go to what may be a better show. Tell me, is it the lack of imagination among writers? Or story editors?
Don't ya just love English majors who toss around words like 'gerunds' and 'participles' as if the rest of us had a clue!
As a huge audible consumer - too many "said" stands out in that medium a lot, In a way that I don't find I notice when reading with my eyes
Thanks, I hoping to see more videos where you make more examples. Especially how to make text crisp and punching.
There is a huge difference between not much happening in a sceen and it beeing meaningless filler. Especialy in a fast paceing action heavy high stakes story, you will need breathers and room for the more subtil and tender parts of a story. Also as long as a sceen does not feel hollow and boreieng its full meaning and impact do not have to be aimed at the moment you read them, instead they can work as setup.
Relationship development needs calmer moments with not as much else going on . . . often authors rely on big gestures and full on drama and than the relationship tends to feel oversold or wihout substance in contrast to slowely building it up in a more natural way.
Can't wait to read The Ivies!
this video is a lifesaver ! i needed some writing motivation today and this has been helping !
25:13 *Same.*
This was extremely informative and I found myself unable to stop listening (a big deal for me - lately - with longer videos). Thank-you so much for this. :)
Great info! I realize this is the style of the time, but I've always found it strange that in modern commercial writing complicated verbs are encouraged everywhere except in dialog tags. If "I raced home" is preferable to "I ran home swiftly," shouldn't "He whispered" be preferable to "He said." I realize it's not, but it seems like there's more going on here than a simple rule can encapsulate.
I think in the case of “I raced home”, it’s a smarter use of language than tacking an adverb, ie. “swiftly”, onto a verb. As for dialogue tags, my philosophy is that complicating the tags a) undermines the ability to indicate emotion and tone in the actual line of dialogue, and b) detracts from the actual content of the dialogue and the flow of the scene. You’ll find in lots of books that an extended conversation only uses about two tags and then just has the dialogue back and forth with no tags. It’s entirely instinctual (and a personal and stylistic choice), so it’s just about developing it, tbh.
@@jjaacckkmm I agree with everything except it being entirely instinctual. I think there's got to be a good technical reason behind it. Like sports announcers tend to use the same verb for the same action "he shoots... he scores." It would get annoying if they said it differently everytime. And I think it's interesting that we've adopted the convention that in a paragraph were someone takes an action, and it's followed by an unattributed quote, it's understood that the subject of the previous sentence is the one speaking. Virtually every writer does it, but I've never seen it explained formally when teaching writing.
In The Brothers Karamazov, Dostoievski spends 2 chapters just showing father Zossima (a priest and secondary character) doing deeds of charity. It doesn't 'advance' the plot, but it creates a deep emotional picture of this man's holiness and compassion towards the needy, so that later when Fedor Karamazov disrespects him, you get a shocking reaction from Fedor's deviousness. Those chapters had an artistic purpose on the plot, because writing is not just conveying information (advancing the plot).
🤔Oh man, I have noticed recently HAD is definitely one of my crutch words lol yay for first draft of first book construction and editing 🤣 still lovin it!
Thanks Alexa for such a nitty gritty great vid with examples!