I was proposed to a year ago🦁🦁🦁This is my life, my story and if I do live I'd like a record of what I survived and lived through. If I don't, for anyone who may care this will say my story. Why do I still ache? How is this the reality I wake up to?
I can't provide answer on why you suffer. There is potential for your empathy to have grown for your ordeals. That you would be more more kind and compassionate when you see others going through the same pain. You will need time to rediscover yourself while feeling lost and in grief. I hope you eventually do reach out to others like how you are posting these personal videos. There is always one kind soul in a sea of faceless commentators. All I can say is that giving up is a very tempt and easy thing to consider. If I was to give a reference using FFXIV (i'm also a ffxiv player) think back during endwalker in the scene once the final days started in Thavnair. The quotes: "Do not avert your eyes. See your life for what it is" "Then you will see how hardship make you stronger" "Every agony to temper your blade" I hope someday you do find your answers and find the happiness you deserve.
You need to find a therapist and stop miring in this every single day. Every time you're upset you turn to these thoughts. Every time you wallow in these thoughts you turn to the internet to validate your feelings instead of getting help. You're showing you don't want to feel better, do better, or move on. Find a therapist and change that.
I know what a therapist would say: 1. Get a USA job and move to your home yourself. I'm not helpless irrespective of how much I feel I am. I make more than double what he does as much as he gloats about it and shits on my career and all software engineers out there. 2. Get my property back. (Because he's been using it to emotionally manipulate me.) 3. Continue the testosterone, gym and glow up. My beard is coming in more, I literally have stretch marks on my pecs... keep going. 4. Stop sadposting and get the channel up and running 5. Get that damned website up and running. God damn the first tier of Dawntrail already came and left... I am so stupid...
@@ColeEvyx YOU are resigning yourself to this. YOU are choosing to be miserable. YOU are choosing to relive every day and be stuck in the past. YOU are choosing not to get better. YOU are choosing internet validation while you deteriorate. Go to therapy. Stop seeking people to validate how you feel because it's not helping you. Go find a therapist NOW. Do not rely on insurance to cover it immediately. If it means cutting some other expense out of your life do it FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH. You lack any REAL friends who will tell you how it actually is. You're surrounding yourself with a bunch of people who only want to gas you up in the moment. You DO NOT know what a therapist would tell you. You DO NOT know what a therapist will do for your life. I used to be stuck in the same kind of doomspiral and therapy helped give me the tools and mindset to stop living my worst days every day. Cut the bullshit. Find a therapist NOW.
@@ColeEvyxI highly doubt that's what the therapist would say But either way, do you have the deed to your property? If you do and it's in your name and not his, evict him, he doesn't want to, get police involved, well he's trespassing and he can be arrested A therapist will not TELL you to do this or that, but will help YOU reach YOUR destination Treat yourself the way you want to be treated, don't treat yourself the way others want you to be Work on getting your property back from him by any means, then work on yourself on how you want to be, not on how anyone else wants you to be There comes a time when push comes to shove, you need to do the pushing Sorry if it's hurtful in anyway
Did you delete my follow up comment? Find a therapist. Stop posting about this daily. Stop reliving the same days, stuck yearning for people who don't want you and only want to make you miserable. Go to therapy. Do not wait on insurance to cover it first.
I feel really bad about your situation but you need to get professional therapy, TH-cam is not professional therapy mate. Venting to a room full of strangers isn't going to fix the problem you're having right now. It may actually push half your audience away, and end up making you feel worse in the end.
my heart truly goes out to you, you are in an insanely tough spot right now and while i cant empathies completely i think you need more professional help than what we as a community can provide.
Hey man just private these and get the emotion out I know opening your chest out seems like a good idea but your inviting a lot of bad people to hurt you and ruin you from your recent post
I'm glad you're making a video to help get this out of your system. Hearing you mention it in other videos unrelated sounded more like a cry for help/attention. Going through all that is rough. Many of us have been there. First off, keep in mind that you're good enough. No matter what anyone else thinks. If someone doesn't appreciate you, they aren't worth losing sleep over. It hurts when you're betrayed by someone you loved and had a life with, but wallowing in pity won't help, as comfortable as it feels. All that's happening is you're feeling miserable until the chance moment arrives where you meet someone who you deem valuable enough to pull you out of the misery and make you forget the pain. Its what many people do. But sometimes, its better to find closure and stand up on your own. Or else you'll just transfer all those feelings to the next person. _You_ have to be ready to move on; not look for someone to fill the hole in your heart. I hope that doesn't come off as rude. It's not my intention. Most of the people watching this video are doing so because they care about you.
I will add my voice to the group saying that getting some professional mental health help would be a good idea for you right now. You are suffering, and you deserve to feel better. A good therapist or councilor can help make that happen for you. If therapy isn't in the cards right now, I'd suggest the book "Radical Acceptance" by Tara Brach. It's not about saying "I'm happy with this situation". It's about acknowleding that this is the situation I'm in, and looking to what I can do to change or move past the pain in that. I believe in you, and I'm cheering for you from here. May your joy rekindle from a tiny spark to a bright bonfire for all to see. Much love.
Respectfully, this should be your last video that you talk about this situation, you keep dragging yourself in and out of this experience; which it all it is. People will come and go out of your life and that’s okay.. now is the time for you even if you’re alone, feel alone. Or what ever the case may be. Gain your confidence and love for yourself back. Life will still go on and this person you’re speaking of is living their life. You have to do the same! Even if y’all are not together. Much love to you ❤.
Damn, friendo, all of this sucks to hear. You do NOT deserve this, and HE does not deserve YOU. I hope you’re able to contextualize stuff soon in a way that lets you move on and find someone who deserves your time and energy.
Just stoped the video to tell you as a long time sub, that I am fucking proud of you! You experienced hell and you keep going! Btw your smile is fking cute, you look like a true buddy I would love to hang out with, there is NOTHING to be ashamed abaout. Keep doing what you love, you WILL find the person you deserve 100%. You are smart, funny, good looking and a nerdy gamer. You have no idea how many people are into that. Please dont give a shit abaout the "you are not man enough or not bear enough" bullshit. You are you and you are perfect the way YOU are! Much love :D
Sorry to hear that you're still hurting that much. I know it's hard, but you should stop looking back and start to strive forward for the things you want and need. You're a good looking guy. You will find that person to have your future with. If you really can't move on, maybe someone professional is the right help for the moment.
Please, for the love of God. STOP. Me and others are most likely here to watch FFXIV content and are not consenting to trauma dumping. I just wanna watch some content regarding this game. If this persists, I’ll be gladly to unsub because it’s insufferable to see and hear someone pity themselves like this.
I think about you all day every day. I’m am all the time there for you . You know I am just a call or a message away. No matter if day or night. Big hugs and cuddles
Well, generally, if someone finds a person not good enough for some random or arbitrary reason, they likely will eventually start viewing the next new person they are clinging too as not good enough either. On it goes until they have exhausted the list of everyone willing to put up with them.
I can't begin to imagine what your going through. I would honestly give you a hug. But I would strongly recommend therapy. I had a friend with a similar experience and therapy helped. It helped him find the answers he needed. I'm not the best at saying the right things. But as someone who's watched your videos for 2 years. I was well as some others care and are rooting for you. Even if you're lost, you are not alone.
It honestly looks like your speed running grief. You in the acceptence stage of it. My brother was cheated on. Found out his kid wasnt his. Was a mess for years. People cant tell you to stop but you do sound better than when you first posted by a long mile. Keep it up. Remeber excercise is the hest anti-depressant
Slowest speed run. He's been stuck in the same rut for the past year making video after video about it. He needs to be in therapy and stop using social media and TH-cam as a means to unconstructively vent about it.
It's supposed to hurt. If it didn't hurt, it didn't mean anything. I will repeat what I said in a previous video, he wouldn't still be trying to contact you if he didn't NEED you to validate him in some way. That's the one piece of power you hold in this messed up situation--he's only as valid as you make him. Validate him for however long you need to, then remember that there are better guys in the world than a cheating, self-absorbed asshole. Then you get that degree, make good money and find someone actually worth your loyalty.
I wish I could give you a hug! I would love to be your friend. Wish there was a way I could help make you feel better. There’s so much better on the horizon for you!! 🙏🏼🫶🏼
![You Laugh, You Lose [FFXIV Edition]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/KkmnJfKlKEI/mqdefault.jpg)
I was proposed to a year ago🦁🦁🦁This is my life, my story and if I do live I'd like a record of what I survived and lived through. If I don't, for anyone who may care this will say my story. Why do I still ache? How is this the reality I wake up to?
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing this snippet of your life, it’s always nice to know the person behind the camera
I can't provide answer on why you suffer. There is potential for your empathy to have grown for your ordeals. That you would be more more kind and compassionate when you see others going through the same pain.
You will need time to rediscover yourself while feeling lost and in grief. I hope you eventually do reach out to others like how you are posting these personal videos. There is always one kind soul in a sea of faceless commentators.
All I can say is that giving up is a very tempt and easy thing to consider. If I was to give a reference using FFXIV (i'm also a ffxiv player) think back during endwalker in the scene once the final days started in Thavnair. The quotes:
"Do not avert your eyes. See your life for what it is"
"Then you will see how hardship make you stronger"
"Every agony to temper your blade"
I hope someday you do find your answers and find the happiness you deserve.
You need to find a therapist and stop miring in this every single day.
Every time you're upset you turn to these thoughts.
Every time you wallow in these thoughts you turn to the internet to validate your feelings instead of getting help.
You're showing you don't want to feel better, do better, or move on. Find a therapist and change that.
I know what a therapist would say:
1. Get a USA job and move to your home yourself. I'm not helpless irrespective of how much I feel I am. I make more than double what he does as much as he gloats about it and shits on my career and all software engineers out there.
2. Get my property back. (Because he's been using it to emotionally manipulate me.)
3. Continue the testosterone, gym and glow up. My beard is coming in more, I literally have stretch marks on my pecs... keep going.
4. Stop sadposting and get the channel up and running
5. Get that damned website up and running. God damn the first tier of Dawntrail already came and left... I am so stupid...
But the problem is I feel SOOOOOO LONELY so I can't DO these things
@@ColeEvyx
YOU are resigning yourself to this.
YOU are choosing to be miserable.
YOU are choosing to relive every day and be stuck in the past.
YOU are choosing not to get better.
YOU are choosing internet validation while you deteriorate.
Go to therapy.
Stop seeking people to validate how you feel because it's not helping you.
Go find a therapist NOW. Do not rely on insurance to cover it immediately.
If it means cutting some other expense out of your life do it FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH.
You lack any REAL friends who will tell you how it actually is. You're surrounding yourself with a bunch of people who only want to gas you up in the moment.
You DO NOT know what a therapist would tell you.
You DO NOT know what a therapist will do for your life.
I used to be stuck in the same kind of doomspiral and therapy helped give me the tools and mindset to stop living my worst days every day.
Cut the bullshit. Find a therapist NOW.
@@ColeEvyxI highly doubt that's what the therapist would say
But either way, do you have the deed to your property? If you do and it's in your name and not his, evict him, he doesn't want to, get police involved, well he's trespassing and he can be arrested
A therapist will not TELL you to do this or that, but will help YOU reach YOUR destination
Treat yourself the way you want to be treated, don't treat yourself the way others want you to be
Work on getting your property back from him by any means, then work on yourself on how you want to be, not on how anyone else wants you to be
There comes a time when push comes to shove, you need to do the pushing
Sorry if it's hurtful in anyway
Did you delete my follow up comment?
Find a therapist. Stop posting about this daily. Stop reliving the same days, stuck yearning for people who don't want you and only want to make you miserable.
Go to therapy. Do not wait on insurance to cover it first.
I feel really bad about your situation but you need to get professional therapy, TH-cam is not professional therapy mate. Venting to a room full of strangers isn't going to fix the problem you're having right now. It may actually push half your audience away, and end up making you feel worse in the end.
agree
my heart truly goes out to you, you are in an insanely tough spot right now and while i cant empathies completely i think you need more professional help than what we as a community can provide.
Hugs you'll get through this bud you adorable cutie cole
Hey man just private these and get the emotion out
I know opening your chest out seems like a good idea but your inviting a lot of bad people to hurt you and ruin you from your recent post
I'm glad you're making a video to help get this out of your system. Hearing you mention it in other videos unrelated sounded more like a cry for help/attention. Going through all that is rough. Many of us have been there.
First off, keep in mind that you're good enough. No matter what anyone else thinks. If someone doesn't appreciate you, they aren't worth losing sleep over. It hurts when you're betrayed by someone you loved and had a life with, but wallowing in pity won't help, as comfortable as it feels.
All that's happening is you're feeling miserable until the chance moment arrives where you meet someone who you deem valuable enough to pull you out of the misery and make you forget the pain. Its what many people do. But sometimes, its better to find closure and stand up on your own. Or else you'll just transfer all those feelings to the next person. _You_ have to be ready to move on; not look for someone to fill the hole in your heart.
I hope that doesn't come off as rude. It's not my intention. Most of the people watching this video are doing so because they care about you.
I will add my voice to the group saying that getting some professional mental health help would be a good idea for you right now. You are suffering, and you deserve to feel better. A good therapist or councilor can help make that happen for you. If therapy isn't in the cards right now, I'd suggest the book "Radical Acceptance" by Tara Brach. It's not about saying "I'm happy with this situation". It's about acknowleding that this is the situation I'm in, and looking to what I can do to change or move past the pain in that. I believe in you, and I'm cheering for you from here. May your joy rekindle from a tiny spark to a bright bonfire for all to see. Much love.
Respectfully, this should be your last video that you talk about this situation, you keep dragging yourself in and out of this experience; which it all it is. People will come and go out of your life and that’s okay.. now is the time for you even if you’re alone, feel alone. Or what ever the case may be. Gain your confidence and love for yourself back. Life will still go on and this person you’re speaking of is living their life. You have to do the same! Even if y’all are not together. Much love to you ❤.
Damn, friendo, all of this sucks to hear. You do NOT deserve this, and HE does not deserve YOU.
I hope you’re able to contextualize stuff soon in a way that lets you move on and find someone who deserves your time and energy.
Just stoped the video to tell you as a long time sub, that I am fucking proud of you! You experienced hell and you keep going! Btw your smile is fking cute, you look like a true buddy I would love to hang out with, there is NOTHING to be ashamed abaout. Keep doing what you love, you WILL find the person you deserve 100%. You are smart, funny, good looking and a nerdy gamer. You have no idea how many people are into that. Please dont give a shit abaout the "you are not man enough or not bear enough" bullshit. You are you and you are perfect the way YOU are! Much love :D
dude u look handsome af O.O. i gotta say you are strong hope everything will go well for you i do keep following your channel
Sorry to hear that you're still hurting that much. I know it's hard, but you should stop looking back and start to strive forward for the things you want and need. You're a good looking guy. You will find that person to have your future with. If you really can't move on, maybe someone professional is the right help for the moment.
Please, for the love of God. STOP.
Me and others are most likely here to watch FFXIV content and are not consenting to trauma dumping. I just wanna watch some content regarding this game. If this persists, I’ll be gladly to unsub because it’s insufferable to see and hear someone pity themselves like this.
I think about you all day every day. I’m am all the time there for you .
You know I am just a call or a message away. No matter if day or night. Big hugs and cuddles
It's gonna get better bro. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you got this.
Well, generally, if someone finds a person not good enough for some random or arbitrary reason, they likely will eventually start viewing the next new person they are clinging too as not good enough either. On it goes until they have exhausted the list of everyone willing to put up with them.
I can't begin to imagine what your going through. I would honestly give you a hug. But I would strongly recommend therapy. I had a friend with a similar experience and therapy helped. It helped him find the answers he needed.
I'm not the best at saying the right things. But as someone who's watched your videos for 2 years. I was well as some others care and are rooting for you. Even if you're lost, you are not alone.
you deserve better
find what you really love to do chase your dreams lonely we all feel that was sometimes just fight a best you can find that makes you happy and smile
It honestly looks like your speed running grief. You in the acceptence stage of it. My brother was cheated on. Found out his kid wasnt his. Was a mess for years. People cant tell you to stop but you do sound better than when you first posted by a long mile.
Keep it up. Remeber excercise is the hest anti-depressant
Slowest speed run.
He's been stuck in the same rut for the past year making video after video about it.
He needs to be in therapy and stop using social media and TH-cam as a means to unconstructively vent about it.
@@conroconro Then I must of missed the vast majority of it. Thought it was something recent.
It's supposed to hurt. If it didn't hurt, it didn't mean anything.
I will repeat what I said in a previous video, he wouldn't still be trying to contact you if he didn't NEED you to validate him in some way. That's the one piece of power you hold in this messed up situation--he's only as valid as you make him.
Validate him for however long you need to, then remember that there are better guys in the world than a cheating, self-absorbed asshole. Then you get that degree, make good money and find someone actually worth your loyalty.
I could have sworn you did a face reveal on a podcast or something
That sucks man, I hope you get better soon and everything will go as you plan 😊❤️
I wish I could give you a hug! I would love to be your friend. Wish there was a way I could help make you feel better. There’s so much better on the horizon for you!! 🙏🏼🫶🏼
find what you really love to do chase your dreams lonely we all feel that was sometimes just fight a best you can find that makes you happy and smile