Dating THESE Types of Men (Over 40) Are The Most Dangerous

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ค. 2024
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    - Dating THESE Types of Men (Over 40) Are The Most Dangerous

ความคิดเห็น • 341

  • @JonathonAslay
    @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching
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  • @ambivalent5842
    @ambivalent5842 หลายเดือนก่อน +73

    Most men on dating apps tend to be avoidant.
    Either they are separated, newly divorced, going through the screwing around stage after divorce, are married, living with someone, not wanting a relationship, but pretending they do.
    It is much better to meet someone IRL or through special intersts.

    • @ralphkramden2089
      @ralphkramden2089 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Absolutely! 💯

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Agree. You nailed it Ambi.
      Men will commonly tell women what they want to hear. What are they chasing?

    • @DiamondsRexpensive
      @DiamondsRexpensive หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Or engaged and having fun on the side. Oops

    • @biondna7984
      @biondna7984 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      It's my current observation as well, that most men on the dating websites now are terrified of connection. I met my late beloved on one, when they'd say they were looking for an "LTR," or long-term relationship. Now? Not so much, it seems.

    • @hoolia888
      @hoolia888 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Totally

  • @lindamac45
    @lindamac45 หลายเดือนก่อน +123

    My ex was a very needy man even though he was extremely successful. after we got divorced. I asked him if I met most of his needs and he said absolutely but just having validation from you was not enough. I needed other women validate my worth to feel better about myself as a man. I personally don't want a man who's needy. I would prefer to be with somebody who is in tune with his wants and desires and is able to express them in an adult manner without acting out like a wounded child.

    • @Bb-k4gd
      @Bb-k4gd หลายเดือนก่อน +24

      That was my experience, you can never satisfy a needy man and they don’t really appreciate what you do. They always need/want more and they can be extremely selfish!

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      This can be true. Are they loyal or seeking novelty?
      Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating -;Sam Vaknin podcast
      Cheating Triangulation In Sick Relationships ---Sam Vaknin podcast
      Love Addiction Craving Infatuation Limerance - Sam Vaknin podcast

    • @lindamac45
      @lindamac45 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@sherriflemming3218continuous validation of his worth

    • @camellia8625
      @camellia8625 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@sherriflemming3218in my experience they like to continue to enjoy the benefits of being married whilst also going outside the relationship. They want both.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@camellia8625 Indeed the cake and eat it too. There's no such thing as an honest cheat.
      I've had these experiences as well. Married and attached. Ad nauseum.

  • @Mk2.Sc.uv.43
    @Mk2.Sc.uv.43 หลายเดือนก่อน +47

    Problem is sometimes they lie and tell you what they think you want to hear …ahhhh discernment. There ya go. We’ve got to be good discerners !!!

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Exactly

    • @Bb-k4gd
      @Bb-k4gd หลายเดือนก่อน

      Why not tell men to stop lying, to grow up 🙌🏻 and have some dignity, instead of gaslight your self thinking most men have good intentions 😉

    • @Bb-k4gd
      @Bb-k4gd หลายเดือนก่อน

      Why not tell men to stop lying, to grow up 🙌🏻 and have some dignity, instead of gaslight your self thinking most men have good intentions 😉

    • @Bb-k4gd
      @Bb-k4gd หลายเดือนก่อน

      Why not tell men to stop lying, to grow up 🙌🏻 and have some dignity, instead of gaslight your self thinking most men have good intentions 😉

    • @Bb-k4gd
      @Bb-k4gd หลายเดือนก่อน

      Why not tell men to stop lying, to grow up 🙌🏻 and have some dignity, instead of gaslight your self thinking most men have good intentions 😉

  • @getrealwithmya
    @getrealwithmya หลายเดือนก่อน +58

    Ladies please focus on a man’s action more than his words and listen to your guts. A man shows interest in you through his actions and his words. If you are not getting that, he doesn’t even like you to begin with. 😊

    • @Bb-k4gd
      @Bb-k4gd หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      True, solid men will show you w/ actions n words and will not be confused.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Indeed, not seriously interested. Wasting your valuable time. Men know exactly what they are doing. It's not about like. It's about alignment and credibility. Keep your standards high ladies.
      By keeping your standards high you will disqualify the wrong men. We can only lose the wrong men
      In this world verify everything.

    • @user-en9vp4fj9l
      @user-en9vp4fj9l หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I was waiting for Jonathan to comment on this woman's relationship, and as I listened, all I could hear was that this guy was not really into her. She wouldn't be confused if he was really into her. He sounds like he's wasting her precious time.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker

    • @Mk2.Sc.uv.43
      @Mk2.Sc.uv.43 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Amen Mya. Amen!!

  • @maureenagnes6675
    @maureenagnes6675 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

    It is a jungle out there if you care about yourself it is very important to know Who you are relating too.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Well said Maureen.
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker

  • @Mk2.Sc.uv.43
    @Mk2.Sc.uv.43 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

    I saw so many men on dating sites with wedding rings on their photo. Ugh. Or guys that were going through separation and not even divorced yet. Geez. Slim Pickins and lots of trouble out there.

    • @Mk2.Sc.uv.43
      @Mk2.Sc.uv.43 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Amen!!

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Mk2.Sc.uv.43 Be careful!

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Big PASS recently out of realtionship! I hear you!

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Agree Mari.

    • @kumral76
      @kumral76 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It's the new disgusting style now! "Polygamous!!! Open relationship ", ohhh we r free",... etc crap.... 🤢🤢

  • @lisasoleto9346
    @lisasoleto9346 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    You are indeed very humorous… ‘I gaslight myself’. Lol. Very authentic and relatable and funny.

  • @tyannefisherloeffler5836
    @tyannefisherloeffler5836 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    So true Jonathan
    I want a man who appreciates the fact that you have feelings for them....

    • @robyntorres7117
      @robyntorres7117 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Agreed. Instead of being disgusted or running for cover 😂

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@robyntorres7117 I hear that!

    • @faithful31us
      @faithful31us 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Me2

  • @anotherwon9987
    @anotherwon9987 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    💯 agree tired of narcissistic rhetoric

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Indeed

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes

    • @kirstencourtney8792
      @kirstencourtney8792 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Be careful not to confuse narcissistic rhetoric with watching out for people with real narcissistic personality traits or personality disorders. They really do exist and can be very dangerous.
      It's kind of sad that this word has gotten so overused lately that people don't believe you anymore when you are talking about a real narcissist. They will slowly drain you of your soul before they dispose of you, one way or another. 💔⚰️💀 Beware.

  • @biondna7984
    @biondna7984 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Thank you for addressing all this. I'm 70, in excellent health and want to share all kinds of pleasure and discovery. I'm a 21 years-recovered alcoholic; I use nothing that reduces judgement AND the intensity of connection in a sexual relationship, and look only for a like-minded man. From CPTSD from my traumatized, alcoholic mother and traumatized adulterous father, and a caregiver they let abuse me, I neglected my own children, apologized, and live with regret. I'm drawn to "bad boys," like my dad, the best boyfriend I ever had, and my late beloved 2nd husband, who told me I made him want to be a better man. Like me, they all had deep remorse and had made changes. Men in the process of self-redemption inspire me and understand me, so yes, I'm drawn to bad boys gone better. Knowing how CPTSD impacts me, I've no further time for "casual" sex. For the likes of me, there ain't no such animal. The most intense pleasure and greatest safety and freedom I've ever felt, was in uncompromising monogamy with my late beloved. More, please!

  • @mary-lousaikaley4771
    @mary-lousaikaley4771 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    I tried to make it work with a man going through a divorce. He had allot of good qualities but he needed to do allot of healing, so I ended it after a year. Your video is excellent Jonathan and it really resonated with my last relationship.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Separated = High risk
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Never date anyone fresh out of any realtionship is a big rule for me.

  • @chirokathleen
    @chirokathleen หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I’m glad you mentioned being in a funk during the period of the solar eclipse. Me too! Nothing I could put my finger on and I’m glad to have a reason. I’ve been super mopey.

  • @rethagroenewald856
    @rethagroenewald856 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    You nailed it, Jonathon! Thank you só much. At 73 I've experienced all of the above and am making better decisions!! Yes, the eclipse was a heavy one on our spiritual people😢 - we are all work in progress😅 🎉

  • @suewalters3696
    @suewalters3696 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    She helped me so much to heal people need to know what to truly look for because a narcissist relationship is truly dangerous mentally emotionally and sometimes physically .

    • @marigolds49
      @marigolds49 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Narcissistic relationships are doomed to fail

  • @Lotusloveflower
    @Lotusloveflower 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    😮..... As I was listening to this my boyfriend surprised me by coming home on lunch break he always suspects me of being up to something

    • @marigolds49
      @marigolds49 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Why are you with a man who doesn't trust you and is consistently suspicious? Life is too short--value yourself.

    • @karmasutra4774
      @karmasutra4774 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      That must be so exhausting. Why does he get those vibes from you? Or is he not healed from past trauma?

  • @mariamccrea7909
    @mariamccrea7909 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Love this one Jonathon! This is a real message of hope for all of us out there who are working on ourselves and looking for our partner❤❤❤

  • @CroftSurvives4Ever
    @CroftSurvives4Ever หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I have been healing since I was a teenager from my father wound.
    I'm now almost 40 and I have been divorced. My ex hubs is very narcissistic a covert type. I had to have a lot of therapy after him as well and it's now been 6 years. I can say now I know the red flags and things like that. I met a man recently and he's over 40 and he is recently divorced and I told him nope but we can be friends and he will talk to me about his pain from her and he sounds so sad, I said therapy is amazing for anyone. I love therapy and counseling, shadow work and all the stuff. It's been such a help but this video is awesome because it confirmed things for me and I learned a couple new things as well thanks so much for your time!

  • @cooljams8850
    @cooljams8850 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Jonathon, You definitely make a difference in my life. Thank You!

  • @elaussies
    @elaussies หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Agree with you Jonathan. Finding out the type of love language your partner has shows you want to make them happy. Having a one sided relationship so your partner can retain “autonomy” to be cool seems like a testing ground for failure.
    Could this have to do with how much personal time each person needs to enjoy a hobby ?
    The happiest couples I know simply like spending time together. They weren’t tip toeing around issues and did not try to put a limit on their sweetheart’s boundaries.

  • @Jewelzoftheisle
    @Jewelzoftheisle หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you for your answer to "neediness" I appreciate you and your candor and honesty.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน

      You are so welcome

  • @annettepaul3584
    @annettepaul3584 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    First twenty minutes of talk/content was rich with content. It really takes us right to the important points. Thank you so much.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Glad it was helpful!

  • @ourlovehowerica
    @ourlovehowerica หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Adding to several issues attached, long distance without a plan is a disaster, it's very true, but we can be diligent as gentle and always workout and open a space of optimism.

  • @deec411
    @deec411 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Jonathon you're making a huge difference in my life. Thank you!! 🎉🎉🎉

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Happy to hear that!

  • @alethea6781
    @alethea6781 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you. Very useful reminders. Common sense that we can easily lose sight of.💕

  • @BarbaraEstorga-sg1fb
    @BarbaraEstorga-sg1fb หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I believe that healing takes time. Good things can happen, with being patient. Prayer in my life has been a blessing.

  • @fairpoet81
    @fairpoet81 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

    We appreciate you immensely, Coach! Thank you for this huddle and pep talk. Viewer here for 2.5 years, and it's effectual. AMEN! 🙏 Our condolences, Sir. I am currently bonding again with my Persian Father. You remind me that's a gift to love a Stoic father. I'm picking Relationships that were almost lost, while finding peace in letting go of what's not serving us.
    Blessings everyone, from Austin ❤️‍🔥

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Awe... thank you 😊 Your message touched my heart ❤️

  • @revolve957
    @revolve957 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You're making a difference in my life Jonathan and I appreciate you

    • @d.s.3741
      @d.s.3741 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same here. I learning so much about relationships from the Jonathan💜

  • @susanhaines7358
    @susanhaines7358 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    The guy i was in love with is a wonderful human. Shameful to admit there was no affection and he never even asked how my day was. I literally was in a fantasy of how good he may be....but never acknowledged he was using me for sex. We never even kissed or held hands or hugged for tje entire three years. How did i create a fantasy?

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      You're human is why...

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft

  • @Portia620
    @Portia620 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Agreed with introspection!!! Yes, I am still learning and working on me!

  • @lilile9414
    @lilile9414 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Hi Jonathon, you are making a difference in my life. Thank you!

  • @farahelf6120
    @farahelf6120 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Thank you for the knowledge. I wish I had sought all this before dating anyone in my 20s. I was too in love with the idea of love to actually see those men for who they really were. Now in my 40s I've been out of the dating to concentrate not only in better my life financially spiritually emotionally but also researching knowledge to prepare for a future relationship and marriage.

    • @Mk2.Sc.uv.43
      @Mk2.Sc.uv.43 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Good luck and you gooo girl!!

    • @farahelf6120
      @farahelf6120 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@Mk2.Sc.uv.43thank you 😊

  • @kathymaslowskibrightflower9638
    @kathymaslowskibrightflower9638 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I just experienced this with a 63 Yr old man, we've known each other 2 yrs ❤ his true colors came out behaving like a child, shouting, all because I wanted to talk about 'feelings' iv realised its all about our self worth & boundaries. I'm not allowing bad behaviour anymore. ❤❤x thankyou Jonathon, new subscriber from 🇬🇧 xx

  • @tarothijadevenus4017
    @tarothijadevenus4017 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you Big Brother ❤ Love from Chile 🇨🇱

  • @laurettabertrand2623
    @laurettabertrand2623 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I recently ended a relationship with a man I met online and dated for five months. I realized after a month that he was still going through a divorce. I talked with him about the possibility of needing more time to go through the grief process as well as the separating of material things. He said he was ready to move on. But he hadnt done any work on himself and yet I wanted to give him an opportunity to see if he was ready. I should've listened to my gut. He wasn't ready and was still looking at and talking with other women online. I finally ended it and now am looking at my part in this relationship. It still hurts to end a relationship that was less than ideal. Healing and learning is my journey.

  • @ruthdevon900
    @ruthdevon900 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Thanks Jonathon… you are making a difference in my life.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      WOW! Thank you, and much appreciated. Any chance you can share this video with friends?

  • @christierichman2241
    @christierichman2241 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    I just love how you throw it down. I'm fucked up ,your fucked, we're all a little fucked up. 🤘🤘🖤

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Lol 😆 exactly

    • @valeriea.larsson1687
      @valeriea.larsson1687 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I read so many who hae not yet learned correct English, "You are" = you are, not your..

  • @barbaraditri8901
    @barbaraditri8901 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Absolutely Marvellous man.Very interesting and engaging.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Glad you enjoyed it!

  • @Mk2.Sc.uv.43
    @Mk2.Sc.uv.43 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I did the same thing that lady did. I asked him during a phone call if he was seeking a commitment or was he just casually dating Told him I was Catholic and was married forever and widowed and o wasn’t in this just for dating fun. He absolutely shared he was looking for a wife. Problem was (in my opinion) it was 6 months after her death and I thought that was too soon. I said no the first two times he asked me out and then the third time I said yes,

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      And?

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This was the last nightmare situation, Mari?

    • @Mk2.Sc.uv.43
      @Mk2.Sc.uv.43 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@JonathonAslayhe turned out to be an
      Absolute coward. Hooked on porn, lied to me repeatedly, needed money. Had controlling grown kids he wouldn’t stand up to, he was a wolf
      In sheep’s
      Clothing. Never missed church on Sundays but was all
      About himself. He was a selfish lover and a love bomber from
      The get go. I should have listened to my gut! I kept
      Giving him chance after chance because we got along so well and enjoyed each other so much. He had zero personal
      Integrity and was a closet
      Pervert. So
      Sad
      I wasted a year on this loser. Oh well. Live and learn

    • @Mk2.Sc.uv.43
      @Mk2.Sc.uv.43 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@sherriflemming3218it worked out badly actually. He was hooked on porn for 15 years during last years of his marriage. His wife died two years ago Long story. I gave him many chances to “get better.” Stupid me. Wasted over a year. He kept
      Improving and I hung in there because we got
      Along so well and he lied and said he had stopped
      The porn! He broke
      Uo with me via a text message. He knew I was on to him!! What a coward. I’m wiser for
      The experience but mad and sad too

    • @Mk2.Sc.uv.43
      @Mk2.Sc.uv.43 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well I’ve been dating him for a year or so. He wants to marry me but I’m
      Working out kinks!! lol

  • @362euu6jz
    @362euu6jz หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you Johnathon

  • @user-fy4gm8lq9w
    @user-fy4gm8lq9w หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    A lot of them are superficial.

  • @francescocalemma
    @francescocalemma หลายเดือนก่อน

    Best advice ❤ I agree with all these been there. The narcissist we will be AI soon left me rolling on the floor dude that’s iconic!😂😂😂😂

  • @rozannamurayama9629
    @rozannamurayama9629 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Lol! It is definitely a minefield. Being from Texas, you can just imagine what type of minefields I think it is with all the cattle, horses, and goats. I am sorry I just couldn't help myself. 😅

  • @Mk2.Sc.uv.43
    @Mk2.Sc.uv.43 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Moonstruck. Love it. Reminds me of my family

  • @DanceChickaDee
    @DanceChickaDee 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Dr. Ramini said all JERKS aren’t narcissists but all Narcissists are JERKS! Sadly you don’t know if someone is until you’ve gone thru all the suffering. 😢
    Trying to find a playbook to avoid future suffering isn’t reality cause at the end of the day narcissists do their research on the same playbook 😭searching for love is risky for a reason. If your intentions are in the right place does not necessarily mean others are as well. If you take the risk and suffered for it don’t let that discourage you from taking another risk. Too often we allow the fear of the unknown to dictate your relationship decisions..
    Love is the reward that is worth the risk ❤

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  22 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Yes!

    • @karmasutra4774
      @karmasutra4774 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      They tell you who they are / there are clues many times. I would not fall for it afín now that I encountered that type of person. You spend enough time and not rush into feelings and sex you will have a better idea what you are dealing with. I take people on day trips to get to know them. That tells me all in need to know when I travel with someone

  • @melanietaylor3735
    @melanietaylor3735 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I wasted three years in a man because he said he was looking for a relationship and marriage. One week turned into one year and so on with him telling me to be patient… if I remind him or ask him about marriage he would say that I can’t hold him to that because things change over time. Wow. I think he just wanted someone to spend time with, talk to when he was bored..this was a long distance relationship. Yes, we had a plan at the beginning but he never followed up with it. Truth? Yes, he wasted my time but I started dating after the second year and still waited on him. I think he’s done this before to other women…woo them the first year, promise them marriage and then nothing. He just needs company every once in awhile… we never even had sex so I feel good about that… everything you said was on point. We are still friends. He calls every few days but the love is gone now… never again.

    • @marigolds49
      @marigolds49 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Why bother remaining friends with him and talking to him? Waste of time and energy--value yourself.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Agree Marigold. Next!

    • @karmasutra4774
      @karmasutra4774 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Yeah. This isn't really a friendship at all. It's just a part time companion

  • @smilevids1337
    @smilevids1337 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

    As far as only having compassion for single mothers if they lost their husband due to death, I tried for years and years to stay with the husband and father of my girls who had serious addiction issues and it was life threatening to us each time we would try to leave. My ten year old daughter was told that he would kill her if she tried to call 911, and my infant at the time he told me he would twist her head off if we tried to leave. THAT was a marriage I needed to get out of. It wasn’t easy to do for obvious reasons. We have finally escaped the awful nightmare, but I still VERY much desire a healthy and happy marriage. I got nothing I hoped for from that relationship. So to say you only have compassion for single mothers who lost their spouse to death is cruel. We all have hopes desires and dreams and want to find love and connection.

  • @jen4yahwehsal176
    @jen4yahwehsal176 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Don't forget sober for at least a year. My friend dated a Guy who was an alcoholic in the first fight. he broke his year long sobriety

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      The success rate for recovery is about 10%
      Any sobriety is challenging.
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

  • @smilevids1337
    @smilevids1337 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

    The girl who shared today was super helpful to me because I’m in a relationship that is so similar to hers. I loved your explanation that if your grateful for the person and would be miserable without them in your life being love, really gave me clarity. It also helped me know that I do have a quality guy. I have my mom telling me that I’m making a bad decision with him because he isn’t a part of my religion, but I really think he is wonderful especially because of how he treats me and makes me feel. I think it’s a hard thing to find sometimes so I’m not going to give him up. My mom currently is just giving me the silent treatment due to my relationship with this guy. It’s pretty heartless if you ask me. I’m only renting from her because she needed the income, but it’s so unfair to me when she won’t allow me to choose for myself.

  • @carolynayala1490
    @carolynayala1490 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I wish I could move to LA to meet you Jonathan. I don’t do social media or dating apps.

  • @Cheryn77
    @Cheryn77 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    God I love you are soo spiritual 11:11 I so thst all the time but I usually always see dual numbers every hour..Don't forget about watching videos about avoidant attachment styles.Ken Reid

  • @estaragold
    @estaragold หลายเดือนก่อน

    You make a difference!

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Awe... thank you 😊

  • @lindasigner9402
    @lindasigner9402 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    LOVE Shawshank redemption!

  • @robinfloyd3102
    @robinfloyd3102 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You are such a delight to watch 😊 you’re the Seth Hazlitt to my Jessica Fletcher…

  • @robinmaxon8957
    @robinmaxon8957 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Yes!! ❤

  • @fifipinky13
    @fifipinky13 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Needy is not sexy.

  • @stacym31
    @stacym31 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The Burned Haystack Dating Method is a great way to weed out the men who aren't for you. It helps to find your needle in the haystack❤

  • @Lenatmu
    @Lenatmu หลายเดือนก่อน

    All the information you provide is very helpful however kinda makes it seem difficult.

  • @ravidixon3515
    @ravidixon3515 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks your the best

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Awe... thank you 😊

  • @jackiewalters9635
    @jackiewalters9635 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

    So sorry for the loss of your son😢

  • @lizlermitte3632
    @lizlermitte3632 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I'm curious if he shows physical initiative because if he doesn't, then is it possible she could be in the friend zone with him? It just sounds a lot like a situation that a friend of mine was in and it ended up that she was more into him than he was with her and he had the same wonderful qualities. I'm not trying to be a downer, I just know how hard it was for her and how hard it was as her friend, when I could see some of the signs.

  • @jaynestarrett7779
    @jaynestarrett7779 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    well I met a few men who I was very kind to over my life and I didn't know what was going on with their behaviour so I researched it and the word narcissism came up. we all have it to some degree apparently. I learned by meeting them what it was and to avoid the signs of severe narcissism. I don't think being aware of it is wrong it's necessary, I don't think people teaching awareness are saying everyone is a severe narc. probably small percentage of the population. These people have no empathy, never apologise, never their fault, people need to be aware who trust everybody.These people give nothing back, no support , only take. just saying.I'm glad I am aware now. And I.ve changed myself to aviod these people I was obviously giving the power to, yes working on myself. It's frightening that not all people are to be trusted. that's what I'm saying.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน

      In this world verify everything.
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Safe People by Henry Cloud

  • @Joshualuv13
    @Joshualuv13 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The below is the best dating advice ever !

  • @jac1161
    @jac1161 หลายเดือนก่อน

    If one has a father wound, the mother wound is usually there too because the spouses enable each other so one is the active abuser, and the other is the permissive/enabler one.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Exactly.
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

  • @susanharrie3326
    @susanharrie3326 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Your making a difference in my life. I want to meet you.

  • @kristinej.4182
    @kristinej.4182 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I’m with you Jonathon. My all time most inspirational movie is the Shawshank Redemption!!
    I really like your definition of love and I will share it with my BF:
    I’m here
    You matter
    We’re important
    I got your back
    I’m not going anywhere
    I only want you
    Love your content! Thank you! 🙏

  • @alishamarie833
    @alishamarie833 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Will a spender still bring me around his family? I'm wondering if the man I was dating for the past year might have been a spender.. but he was bringing me around his family a lot which made me think he was serious about me.. he didn't want to meet my family though and the relationship was one sided.. so now I'm questioning if he was actually a spender?

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes... but they can't commit

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 หลายเดือนก่อน

      One sided anything is a yes! It takes time but study these men! I have a case of books and it’s depressing

  • @user-cl4dv4sb7y
    @user-cl4dv4sb7y หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    question? where’s the join the hot seat link? : )

  • @Mk2.Sc.uv.43
    @Mk2.Sc.uv.43 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hey Jonathan. How do you handle sharing with someone you are dating that you’ve been married multiple
    Times without scaring them away. Through no fault of my own (two died and one was a bad egg)…I’ve been sharing details
    After something could
    Be serious , as I think
    There are some very religious and scared folks out there ….I share I’ve been widowed and tell
    Them I’ll unpack
    The baggage slowly and only according to
    If the relationship gets serious.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน

      I've only been married once...

    • @Mk2.Sc.uv.43
      @Mk2.Sc.uv.43 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I’m asking advice for me. Sorry to confuse.

  • @dawnhilderbrand3659
    @dawnhilderbrand3659 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I'm 55 and been single over 10 yrs. I prefer younger men but unfortunately I'm not confident enough to have a successful relationship. These days I find men of any age are either too busy, not interested or too picky !

    • @h8h215
      @h8h215 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Not confident enough? So you need to work on yourself first?

  • @SueBookhout1
    @SueBookhout1 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Jonathan, Mercury is in retrograde as of April 1st.

  • @karmasutra4774
    @karmasutra4774 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Hope we get an update from Jennifer in a few weeks, she is so cute and hope it all goes well ❤

  • @aletheahall
    @aletheahall หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Why do we take the time to invest then we go on a break?

  • @Rett-qv7ti
    @Rett-qv7ti หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The more I work on myself and become more comfortable with living alone, the less interest I have in wanting to find a partner!?

    • @h8h215
      @h8h215 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I think both sides are understanding this, because its no longer a necessity to be in a relationship and more of an optional choice it dilutes peoples interest in finding a partner.

  • @finallythere100
    @finallythere100 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Yeah a decade of homework only to find out others have not. 🙄

  • @marialacerda6593
    @marialacerda6593 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Dr.Ramani lives in LA.❤

  • @dancingfilly7355
    @dancingfilly7355 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Love is action not words

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Both...

    • @dancingfilly7355
      @dancingfilly7355 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@JonathonAslaybut words are meaningless if there is no action. The man was proving his love by his actions without knowing how to put it into words. Some people need the words to “feel” loved, and neglect to acknowledge the action that proves the love. I’ve been married three times to men who easily voice their love but fail to live it. The act of showing love is much more important than saying the words.

    • @Bb-k4gd
      @Bb-k4gd หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@dancingfilly7355 Not when they don’t want to commit, then she could be a place holder… it could mean he’s not that into her and just having a FWB situation.

    • @dancingfilly7355
      @dancingfilly7355 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Bb-k4gdshe admitted he was proving through his actions that he loved her. She was getting caught up on hearing the words instead of accepting the facts.

    • @Bb-k4gd
      @Bb-k4gd หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@dancingfilly7355 Imho, it’s not just about ‘hearing the words’ it’s about him saying ‘I’m not in love with you’.

  • @LeslieESP21
    @LeslieESP21 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Jonathan, this man struggles with soul to soul communication & texts books ...with way to many IIIIIIIII ? I refuse to respond at this point we have discussed it, and he comtinues as we struggle with the issue. ????? He expresses his needs & emotions only in writing ?

  • @kerrymoy8481
    @kerrymoy8481 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Night

  • @charlenemiale1819
    @charlenemiale1819 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    A roulette wheel.

  • @franco2b145
    @franco2b145 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I would always ask him, Why do you shake your leg even when you’re in the bed? He could never be still, always needing the TV on. It’s like he’s trying to drown his thoughts, could never be alone.
    His response was: I’m self- soothing.. huh? At 50? 😳
    I found out soon enough he is a vulnerable /covert narcissist. Needless to say, I was out! 🏃🏾‍♀️

    • @Rett-qv7ti
      @Rett-qv7ti หลายเดือนก่อน

      Could also be anxiety disorder and ADHD.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@Rett-qv7ti Good point.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I've Scanned 250,000 Brains This Is Really How Men Think - Dr Daniel Amen and Lisa Biyeu podcast

  • @jac1161
    @jac1161 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I...hate...the...'smart'...deVICE. I knew this was going to happen. I refused to get into that and still do. I feel like I'm on another planet.

  • @SteveandShayTv
    @SteveandShayTv หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The guy I’m dating says he doesn’t believe in love he believes in respect. Idk what to do with that. I want the love as well.

    • @h8h215
      @h8h215 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You learn to love in a relationship but respect is definately more important.
      Thought experiment,
      Relationship A only has respect for each other but no love vs relationship B only has love but no respect, which relationship is more likely to stay together?

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Respect and trust are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Love is the icing on the cake.
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      There are two choices. Stay and accept the situation without your needs being met or leave. You cannot change a man.

  • @LinusWilson
    @LinusWilson 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Women over 40 consistently have totally unrealistic expectations about where they fall in the dating pool and think top quality, experienced men way above them will throw a relationship to them.

  • @Sara-tu9it
    @Sara-tu9it หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    After 7 years of dating , I asked, what are your intentions. “he said to have a good time”.

    • @h8h215
      @h8h215 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      7 years of dating the same guy?

    • @Sara-tu9it
      @Sara-tu9it หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@h8h215 yes! I should have ask that day one !

    • @mountainjasmine6007
      @mountainjasmine6007 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      U likely already knew and just didn’t trust yourself, you have learned from this, move on, this is one person there are so many more-use good judgment etc

    • @mountainjasmine6007
      @mountainjasmine6007 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Also, even if u ask at day 1, no guarantee they won’t just lie-look for actions and signs and trust your timeline-when it’s time to be done (your time) it’s not easy!

    • @karmasutra4774
      @karmasutra4774 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I am dating someone for eight years and I am happy with the way it is. I do not and will not marry again, it is nice to live with someone for so long that is there with you with no legalities or perceived obligations. We are together because we both want it and can walk away and haven't . I enjoy long term dating

  • @user-hw1ub9nt5t
    @user-hw1ub9nt5t หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I have never in my life.Had a healthy relationship and I don't know what it consists of or pertains.Or what is the right thing to do or not?The right thing to do on both party parts.. I've been single for 10 years now.Just because I'm afraid because I don't know what to expect.And I need help in having a healthy relationship. I'm not hurting anymore.I have no regrets.I just want to move forward with my life correctly like I wanna find somebody again. But i'm not desperate for just anyone. I don't know if there's a way you could find me in. Contact me, but I'll try to find you. This is my first time hearing you. It has to be it, can't be a coincidence..

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
      Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
      Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft

  • @sshuteandrew
    @sshuteandrew หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You need to meet 5 out of 9 criteria to be officially diagnosed as a narcissist. The traits must be pervasive. I only know of meeting one in my life and he absolutely was one. 9/9 pervasive traits

  • @ultimatevtgb4489
    @ultimatevtgb4489 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Your high voice made people feel stress ..

  • @andreahalpern7116
    @andreahalpern7116 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

    21:27 Jonathon:insightful content-my 70 yr old boyfriend of 2 years is all in-at 60 and a widow-why am I afraid to say I love you?

  • @nurseannesinspirationalwellnes
    @nurseannesinspirationalwellnes หลายเดือนก่อน

  • @lindsaybrown3770
    @lindsaybrown3770 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Can you shed some light on Mother/ Son relationships, and if men unconsciously want to create the same dynamic with you,,,😉

  • @epow
    @epow 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I love how you compare dating to a Stephen King film.

  • @FlatStella1
    @FlatStella1 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Jonathan, I am 43 and I visually and from description like 40 yrs old guys, I plan to talk with them next week.but you say 40 yrs olg guys are the worst!!!!They are single and two 'seem" decent( there are much more) and there is 30 year old guy ( which I thought to skeep that)I f all they are bad, I should stay single? Last one seemed not to be finally good choice....

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Good men exist

    • @Bb-k4gd
      @Bb-k4gd หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Just go talk to them, give them a chance … you liked them so far .. good luck!

  • @mooncrab7576
    @mooncrab7576 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Thank you Jonathan! I don't want smoke blowed up my ass! Lol 😂😅

  • @shar1338
    @shar1338 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You are making a difference in my life 🤗

  • @virginiemnkodia1708
    @virginiemnkodia1708 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    All I can say is: I feel sorry for this generation I don't see how today we can raise decent families based with such low standards on the dating scene-
    Been an independent, strong and honest person it's almost impossible to get a date without promiscuous behavior-

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      We live in an instant gratification and promiscuous society.

  • @nancystevens5136
    @nancystevens5136 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Action stop more and more once he couldn't keep taps on me! He very jealous of a lot family and close friends in my life always wanting to know about who or whom I was spending time with and what they said about him! Couldn't handle that I can be forgiveness in arguments!

  • @user-fy4gm8lq9w
    @user-fy4gm8lq9w หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Most of them are jerks self centered and don’t care they just want to use you

    • @h8h215
      @h8h215 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Because women are usable now thanks to the s3xual liberation movement

  • @colleenhann9248
    @colleenhann9248 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    How do you feel about a man who will talk to you on the phone for a year but won't date physically.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      A pen pal

    • @colleenhann9248
      @colleenhann9248 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@JonathonAslay Is there a way to get him to become more then a pen pal?

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@colleenhann9248 Yes, drive to his house and ask him out on a date.

    • @colleenhann9248
      @colleenhann9248 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@JonathonAslay how do I do that he is painfully shy

    • @colleenhann9248
      @colleenhann9248 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      He is a recluse will he turn me down.

  • @8._.EarthAngel._.8
    @8._.EarthAngel._.8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Could you stop giving people false hope! There’s no such thing as a normal human being, especially not a man, who would willingly date a single mother. It’s a big deal for a normal, healthy, sophisticated man to become a father to someone else’s children. Don’t give people false hope. It would be a different scenario if a single mother were a widow, and most normal women wouldn’t want to be with a man who has children. No normal, educated human being wants to be burdened with someone else’s mistake for the rest of their lives. It’s ridiculous. Single parents should stick together and raise their own bastards.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's not true

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I think it's easier for single parents to date and perhaps form relationships if there is alignment. They may be a better match.
      Safe People by Henry Cloud
      The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker