If You REALLY Want To Know How He Feels About You, Do THIS!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 มิ.ย. 2024
- If You REALLY Want To Know How He Feels About You, Do THIS!
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Don't give your heart to him if he can't spend regular time with you. Exactly, brilliant.
Exactly
Please be sure it's balanced time. A guy I met wanted all my free time. He was love bombing and would text me every morning, mid day and every night wanted to be on the phone for hours, until bed time Literally every night. He wanted to keep his schedule with family and friends-they were first. Though he expected me to change my schedule to accommodate him and only be with him. It was a problem for him, that I have to do every day chores, even like packing a lunch for work the next day, my self-care and learning/work, and spend time occasionally with family. I still had a lot of time to spend with him, though it wasn't enough. I was supposed to devote all my free time to him. It was not healthy. When I would try and talk about it with him, he didn't view what I said with value and ignored it. Then he tried to blame me for it not working out😳 It just wasn't healthy.
I don't know how some women on here are meeting quality men, that equally like them and actually treat them respectfully? I hope to meet a great man like that very soon. I started the dating process super positive and trying to keep that positivity. I know there are great men out there. I hope to meet one shortly. I would love a real and healthy relationship.
@@JonathonAslay A woman doesn't need to do anything to find out how a man feels about her. She just knows by the way he treats her and the way he is when showing affection. Love is easy.
But I feel sad to have to end the relationship. 😢
@@JonathonAslay THANK YOU for being our older brother. So appreciate your guidance!!! Forever grateful 🙏💜
I have a list of what I want. #1 emotional intelligence, Clear communication. Affectionate, cuddler, shared interests, quality time committed, travel partner, long-term Conflict resolution skills, kind, generosity of spirit. Mindful, giving, easy going, fun, playful, creative, intentional. Present. Spiritual, transparency. Authentic. Lives in the same place.❤
Oh, this makes perfect sense. Now I know that I'm not crazy or have high expectations..He is an avoidant and and highly dismissive of my feelings. I'm old now and don't have the time to sit by and babysit him and hope he would change. That's not going to happen. I'd rather be alone than to be with someone who is wasting my time. Thank you Jonathon
I’ve been with dismissive Avoidants . It’s too painful . I’m older and can’t deal with their coldness , it’s brutal
Amen sister, I second this
Been there done that with avoidants. Brutal. I'd rather be alone, and single. They'll say that they cannot meet your expectations, are too demanding, a pain in the ass ,etc. They'll blame you for all of their behaviors.
Men like to shop around. As well as we do. It's best to stay by urself. N do what u want now a days.
Yes ma’am. It is a waste of BOTH our valuable time.
I think nobody is too old to have a great relationship
Thank you! I agree
I met a widower on the internet. I’m a recent widow. We’re both 75. Texting at first but have started talking on the phone. We are having fun n it’s wonderful to laugh again. He’s in Tennessee and I’m on the east coast. He plans on coming to visit me in the Fall. Our families don’t know about us. Do you think we have a chance for love. He’s very attentive n sincere. He wrote me a poem n I was blown away! My deceased husband kept me at arms length. Honestly I don’t know how I stayed with him for many many years
If he's into you and want a real relationship. He will go out of his way for you. How he treats you is how he feels about you. If he's too busy and texts and calls when he wants to. You're not important to him enough. He doesn't like you enough. Maybe someone else in his life but lets say there's not another person. He just doesn't like you enough to see you no matter how busy you are or him. Let go and stop holding on the good. Time wasted is worse than wasted money. I'm too old and know my worth. Time to let go and stop wasting my time for someone who isn't on the same level. I don't have time to babysit and wait for people to grow up. Love myself more. I'm working on it. Working on myself everyday .
Needed this❤❤❤thank u
💯
You are Spot On Thank You so very much ❤
Yes!!!😂I know this feeling all too well. 🙂
Truth. I'm now dating a man, for the first time, who makes time, (and he's a business owner), and actually does what he says he's going to, and treats me like a queen. I've never had this, and believe it or not, It is very difficult for me. It's hard waiting for the " other shoe to drop".
“If you approach the process from confidence, in your sovereignty, from your sense of virtue, if you are intentional, establish your standards, men will be less likely to use you” JA
“Telephone form of relationships are the weakest form of relationships. If you are going to learn how someone feels about you, it will be in person. They will want to spend as much time as possible together with you” JA
Exactly!
Truth
Texting is even weaker
Texting. Breadcrumbs and pen pal. Agree phone communication is the weakest form of communication. It becomes tedious and boring.
I call it phone support
"Only God can take what's broken, & make it whole again. Takes 2 whole people as 1 to make a relationship work."
Yesss
I completely agree
I took back my power. It hurts to tell someone it’s over but this is necessary if we want a certain type of relationship on our own terms.
It's been two days do you think you can give us updates in a few months ? I'm scared to pull the trigger but feel like it's the only thing I can do.
@christinav126 Iv just been through this today in fact. Decided to pull plunge on a intermittent causal off and off again connection. Did I want to ? Absolutely not .Do I know it's the best thing for me in long run.Definitely.
Ladies take back your power, dont have sex after youve had wayyy to much wine🎉🎉🎉🎉
I like listing to you you are a good person who doesn't judge me
@@user-qv7vi2ls6j😊
I dated a rigid and unhappy person who had been through 2 divorces and was abandoned by his father at a young age and has a history of discarding others if there was a disagreement and he kept grudges. Which is what his sister told me. Which he didn't have a relationship with until I showed up and he asked me to go see her with him after 13 years of not speaking. They never resolved their issues as the conversations were very shallow. I wasn't going to get in the middle of that. Not my circus and not my monkeys. He discarded me after I declined paying rent and selling all my things to be with him. He was asking me to make all the sacrifices. He would not do anything to accomodate me. Wouldn't even let me bring my small desk. He was selfish and I wasn't happy so I wasn't going to sacrifice for a selfish and unhealthy communicator and rigid person and invest more than I was already giving, which was I was all in trying to make him happy and I loss myself trying to please him. I'm doing great since and thank him throwing our relationship in the trash because I was fully invested and he clearly wasn't. So I thank him for setting me free.
He needed healing
That paying rent makes one feel like a tenant- just say no, run. Sharing expenses needs to be negotiable & shared based on incomes & assets.
Holy shit, girl, you dodged a bullet. Someone like him, I’m saying, he will be back in which case run girl run, I’m a retired cop I can get you into the witness protection program run away.❤❤❤
Ugh he sounds like a giant toddler . Never go half with a man he sounds like a dismissive avoidant and possibly a narcissist, but he is trash. Good riddance.
@@llgrazes Well said. Share your knowledge with women! Safety first.
School taught me there are 3 levels of communication. The first level is casual chat about surroundings, the weather, etc. The second level is more personal but only the virtues, nothing risky. Third level is self-disclosure (warts and all) that does include the risk of being judged. I found the quickest way to bring someone to 3rd level is to go there first, to take the risk first. My current sweetheart was pontificating about wanting honesty in a relationship. I pointed out a recent example where I had gone out on a limb of self-disclosure that had me feeling very vulnerable. He admitted having had a suspicion of the fact but didn't want to mention it because that would risk embarrassment. Eventually, he was able to concede that honesty is much easier when it doesn't cost you anything. It is a lot to ask of someone to wear their heart on their sleeve. Do not ask for what you will not give. Be willing to take the initial risks, but don't risk more than you can take.
Wow! Everything on this video was so spot on & if a guy pulls back ,but you are head over heels about him, let him go, why be with someone who doesn t feel the same way?
Exactly
💯
I have a motto ‘I’m not here to force you/anyone to be with me’
Even cuddling is more intimate than copulation.
I can’t tell you how appreciative I have been I found you. My long distance relationship w a wounded individual really never felt right when we first met. I knew a few months ago it was over but I failed to end it. Last night, once again, I became his counselor as he talked smack, looking backwards at all his sorrows, anxiety about his prior marriage (which was and still is a mess).
I have finally decided I deserve so much more than what I’m getting. Treading water and he can’t see it. Tonight I’m bowing out and am excited to end it.
I’m living parallel lives with you. I could have written every word.
I like the statement that telling a man of my intentions ‘gives him a roadmap’. It emphasizes the importance, even more so, of giving a man this information. It doesn’t just help me, it helps him.
That man might have healed from his past relationships and become a better person every relationship brings lessons and I'm grateful for all of mine so I don't have a bad thing to say about my ex's they all helped me be the person I am today xx
Thank you for acknowledging widows/widowers. I am one of those widows and my late hubby passed away 3 years ago. I’m out dating but I can’t help not to compare new suitors from my late husband. My expectations from new suitors - either he treat me as good as my husband or better. I just can’t do less and disrespect.
And you’re right, widowers are still capable of loving new partners but the other person will have to accept that our former spouses is part of us and mature enough to understand that our love from our previous spouse are different than the ones we currently building with a potential partner.
It’s almost comical how much sense you make Jonathan. I’m a “Relationship Coach” myself, but after reading snippets of your “Self Love” book , I realize just how much I’ve neglected myself while trying to guide others. I’ll be recommending your book to my clients for sure, but mostly & personally, I’ll be taking everything in it to heart.
Thank you 🙏❤️🙏‼️
As a single mom and I like when we all encourage each other.
♥️
I dated a man that was widowed for just 8 months and broke up with him because it’s too soon. He had lied saying she passed away 2 years ago. He later confessed she’s only been gone 8 months! He was a love bomber and ready to get married after a few dates. Very much a problem. I broke it off and asked him to get counseling
Wise indeed.
😂🎉
Had a guy do the same. They will use your energy time and body to heal. DONT be that girl and allow him to give it some time.
He LIED about when his wife died? Weird!!
U are so right about isolation. Even families aren't close like they used to be.
I am still healing from a long term relationship. And, I am learning so much about healthy relationships from you. I just love you and Marie. 🤗
Wow, Ur advice is golden…things U don’t usually hear…straight & to the point.
If a male has an alchohol or drug addiction. If you really want to help him, dont date him at all, bc he does not align with who you are as a human being.
Thank you Jonathan! ❤ This is your best post yet! Im so grateful for the info and appreciate your dedication to this most important subject. You and your posts are a blessing to me! ❤
Guys and Gals everywhere are saying , after a few drinks . " I miss my ex, I'm not over them " 😅 good red flag. Thank you .
Hmm. Truth Serum
I am married but enjoy your clips because I think I can always learn better wats to relate to people.
I resonate with all of what you share! Too many things have gotten confused, warped and short-cut! We have forgotten the basics, the golden standards and nuggets! I have always felt, believed and desired a "local relationship" as being in person is crucial. And, opposites may attract but, IMHO, this is not one of the keys to the KING/QUEENDOM 😊
Love listening to you! Thank you for your channel!
Thanks for the great info. You really are giving great "big brother" advice.
Hej, Jonathan, I really appreciated your todays contribution to my development. Thank you! ❤
Asking how do i know if I can trust you or have my best interest at heart is a great question. I definitely will use this
Absolutely!
I'm sorry Jonathan, but I disagree with you. Grown ass men should and do know how they should treat a woman. It is not our job to teach them. I'm tired of making excuses for men. They need to step up and be men.
Jonathan you are awasome! Information is terrific!
Hi Johnathan,
I am from Melbourne Australia. I have been watching your videos and I am very impressed with your honesty and transparency.
Thank you 🙂
Rana
Wow, thank you
You just get better and better.
I am. New Yorker, listen to your wise words from Puerto Rico. I learn something new with each video you put up.
Awe.. thank you 😊
I give up! I have tried all that you are talking about and in the beginning, they all agree to it but then they start acting up... fading away, semi-ghosting - say what you mean and mean what you say! I hate dating in my 50s! I'd rather be alone than with some supposed mature man who doesn't know what he wants. There are too many other options out there these days and no accountability. People need to be honest that would help avoid all the BS!
Ya think?
Even if you have standards/ boundaries I find I keep attracting users and losers over the past 2 years. I don't respond to any message that is complimentary about my looks or sex appeal. I have kiboshed early dating that has the expectation of intimacy brought up after a couple of dates. The problem is that , so far, almost every guy I've dated has started out with good vibes, as if he is lying acting like a gentleman then turned into a pig. ( Sorry , don't want to insult pigs, they are really sweet and intelligent animals). Wish men would be more like them instead of pretenders!
19 months celebate after my last relationship and Healing, I'm Happy and looking to share my Happiness with someone special I also love myself unconditionally and can't wait to share my love also 💞😍💞
Thank you for this video. It helped me realize I was not dating intentionally. I was dating to meet someone I like and when I found that person I had no clue what to do but fall flat on my face. Now I have questions that help me find out what kind of person he is so I can learn if I can trust him and ensure we’re on the same path. I was leaning back in my feminine energy, thinking he would take the lead. And I wondered where he would lead me. Once he cross the line I gave up hope and burned the bridge. Lesson learned that I failed by not leading. ❤ Thank you so much!! I will never make this same mistake again and I now have a list of intentional questions 😄
I think you are totally awesome, Jonathon! You make so much sense.
Everything is resonating Big Brother ❤
Appreciate your videos just came across you in the past few days. Magical. Answering alot of my questions been asking the Universe😂❤
This is very true...a lot of people will tell you who they are....listen
I needed to hear this so desperately before I settled for less than what would bring happiness. Thank you!
Happy to hear it helped.
Great video. This holds many truths. Very well delivered Jonathon.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you so much Jonathan ❤ What an eye opener!!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I agree with your comment about the shiny penny & that really hurts the person that lost love. 😢😢😢😢😢
Thank you, you've clarified a few things ❤
This was really good! Thank you
I enjoy watching your informative relationship advice videos, my husband & I have been married for 4 years plus now. 😊
This is a good one Big J
I agree....ITS EXHAUSTING !!!!
What is?
You are awesome Jonathan!
I have ALWAYS considered kissing " a big deal "
... which I found out was so off putting to men that wanted to date me... WELL, Too bad. ... I'm not changing that just because it might not be " liked " by a guy I barely know from a rock .... 🙄👌🏻
People are so quick to want the Physicality of the Relationship, rather than build on the Values , etc. And you are absolutely correct on the process of taking the time to evaluate the possible longevity of the the two people involved. INTENTION is huge, and it is sorely lacking today.
I agree. One time I asked a friend, "do you like his kiss?" She gave me the weirdest look. She didn't know and she was married to him 🙈
Very insightful info. Thank you Jonathon!
Glad it was helpful!
Wise advice I wish I had 4 years ago. Would have saved myself a lot of needless pain.
So many 💔 people so sad! 2 bad woman and men are so afraid of being hurt. We have 2 be so careful. We need miracles they do happen❤❤❤❤❤❤
I agree
Thanks Jonathon I was all ears.
Important topic, Jonathon. Thanks for addressing it. Well done, my friend.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you for your message
Loved hearing this video
Soooo many great points! My first view of your channel ... subscribed!
Welcome aboard!
3:07 At least it’s a glorious pre spring sunny 🌞 day at this car/ boot sale! I like the knitted sock puppet people.
7:19 That bin is a steal at 90% off! A great size too.
Ursula is quite “ haunting “ for stashing something.
The linen coat for spring is really nice. Great finds & wonderful to include things for Luke too! Cheers 🥂!
Yes, so true! Vivian on Pretty Woman had it right!
I love this Jonathan, advice or guidance ,especially right now as iv reconnect with a guy who iv had a causal intermittent thing who's resurfaced. The thing is ,this time, he seems intentional in spending together time as his needing companionship, but saying he doesn't do relationships and suggesting we roll with it and happy to just be platonic friendship but we often end up physically intimate regardless of both of us trying to resist .
Im saving this video to listen to it again before the next man i would consider to date 😊, thank you,love it ,so good 🎉
You're welcome 😊
That was great, thanks for keeping it real.
Thanks for watching!
1. Good character/kind. 3. Agreeable/giving personality.
4. Fun/playful.
5. Intentional.
6. Healed.
Oops lol. Missed one.
Kindness was #2
@@JonathonAslay thanks man!!
“How and why can I trust you beyond fidelity “
Thank you 😊
found your channel today , your brilliant
Welcome aboard!
Tnx Jonathan. You are my big brother n I'm listening. Real vibes
Agreements is a good way to understanding where your crossing the line
Hey! I'm your new subscriber from India. I really love your suggestions and have already ordered all the books suggested by you till now. Thank you so much ❤
Thanks for subbing!
Thanks, I will order your book asap! And also “ The Hoffman Process”! Your the best!
WOW, thanks 😊
28 yrs old and I’m so happy I came Across your profile and videos. Someone who didn’t have good counsel growing up, this is very informative and very much so needed.
If I may Ask, is there a video or perhaps your thoughts on men who move in with woman and what does it mean, in a deeper sense? Thank you so much.
It's exhausting !!
What is?
Thank you Sir, first it confused me about his silence then i became persistent ask him after 2 days of not messaging him. He replied, and i am back happy to communicate him again.
*Effective communication is key to knowing how someone truly feels. Let's strive for open and honest conversations.*
Unfortunately this is what lacked in my previous relationship. My partner refused to talk to me saying we went over the same thing time & time again, making out I had the problem! I just wanted to talk things through with him but he couldn't talk. Things/issues didn't get resolved & it eventually tore us apart. You'd think after 17 years of being together he'd be able to open up to me? Men seem to be able to open up in the bedroom, during sex, but not with their hearts, thoughts & feelings. Communication is key to a successful relationship.😢💔
@@sharonhazelden5834 ohhhh so this my be why some “experts” say to have sex daily, or at least 3x/week” during marriage? The guy has to want it that much, or it’s a 🚩 red flag’
My mother used to tell me a man will tell you he loves you to seduce you into bed the morning after will he still tell you many men have perfected the art of seducing
Sad and true...
Your videos make me cry, in a Very Good way!
Healing
Thank you!
Real talk
So glad!
Great stuff thank you.
Glad you enjoyed it
I needed to hear this !! Thank you
You are so welcome
Have a Happy & Blessed Holiday to all🎉 best wishes in 2024 people🎉
Perusing, chivalry, opening car doors, dinners, romance, fun, laughter, giving, kindness, attraction, mutual respect, and both of us on the same page. That’s how my last relationship began. I can’t even imagine going on a “list” date!
What's a list date?
@@JonathonAslayA list date is when you come into the date with a list of things you want or expect. It’s almost like an interview to see if they check all the boxes.
I just got the book in my mail courier. Plan to read in upcoming days :)
His girlfriend of 18 years died 3 years ago. They lived almost an hour away from each other, not together. He's got her furniture, clothing, and pictures up everywhere. How do I fit in? He called me her name recently and cried. We are saying I love you, and I'm involved with his family, so I think he's ready to date, but he hasn't found a place for me yet. I'm starting to pull away and tell him that I have no place in his house.
Get out if it ge is not ready
This is absolutely amazing ❤! It’s what I have heard before but not so astutely and well said. The using you to heal and then move on like a shiny penny to the next person. Wow! That is the key. It’s annoying Jonathon got sidetracked at 15.21 ‘what often happens is…’ damn I wished he finished that bit 😅😂
A big teddy bear hug back to you Jonathan.
Definitely makes sense.
I agree , most men day how they love me . But, I never feel the same.
I never lead them on and let them know.
That's good to not lead them on...
I believe you are at right time in the relationship to seriously assess your future with this individual. If a man is serious about a woman I believe six months is enough time for him to start some discussions about the future. As a matter of fact those discussions should have been done before you committed yourself but it's never too late. Best of luck going forward.
Is it acceptable if a man says he's not sure of marrying his gf after 2yrs of being together? And also, is it normal that a woman have never introduce her bf to her family even if the've been together for 2yrs?
@pilyangmaarte1551 I think there should have been a conversation about long term intent...was marriage clearly on the table for both parties or has one party come to the conclusion that it SHOULD be on the table, but the other has never had that intention nor wants it.
I would say that never introducing a partner in a 2 year relationship should provoke a conversation...WHY have they not? Again...expressions of intent and actual conversations around these things without pussyfooting is critical.
Says she who has only ever had one proper relationship that ended in part due to failure to communicate 🤷♀️
Well...I learned THAT!! 😂😂😂
@@amandasmith8108 Marriage was mentioned in passing, no formal talks. Guy said they are going to get married nxt yr but nothing has been started as of now with regards to wedding preparation. And the girl said that her siblings do not like the guy bec he's a single dad of a teenager (that's her reason for not formally introducing the guy to her parents and siblings and other family members)
🎉Excellent advice! & no swearing because of the weekend? It still was interesting! 🎉
Glad you enjoyed it!
Hello sweet Jonathan, I'm truly so grateful for your words. At this point I'm just looking for a man to be a friend with and then finding slim pickings. I'm not sure how to reach past my own envelope. I ride a motorcycle I've been in that community I would love to find a man who rides a motorcycle. As well unfortunately most of them have a dirtier lifestyle than I do do. So you talk about standards I'm looking for someone who really loves themselves. That's a hard task
Good morning thank you for all your helpful advice the topic you just spoke of that is myself with my better half
You are so welcome
Why as a woman do you think that you can change a man..when you first meet a man listen to his story, if he blames everything on someone else..and doesn't take any of the blame on himself..."WALK AWAY"! You are responsible only to you first..if it doesn't feel right it's a sign that it's time to walk..there will or is someone out there just for you **NEVER SETTLE ** for someone who thinks he loves you and isn't a man! 🙏🤞
Man I feel bad about it. I was with a person that didnt healed and it was exactly what you said. I wish I was not too young
Sorry for the loss of your son!😢
I'm 74, a man down the hall from me is 64. I'm recently retired and he's still running his own business. This man and I said hi in passing and had a 5 min talk in the laundry room once. One night he knocked on my door and brought me some beef stew. I thanked him and said what a nice surprise. 2 weeks later he brought me some spaghetti. Then I reciprocated with cookies a week later and he told me they were really really good! So we've been trading food about every 2 weeks. I figure he's not that interested in me cause we haven't spent any time talking or being together, so I'm confused as to why he started giving me food to begin with? He's a grown man, so I know he knows how to ask a woman on a date if he's interested! Neither one of us is involved with anyone else.
Maybe he just wants a companion and not a relationship.
@@JonathonAslay that would be good.
The beginning of this video is so useful and would have been beneficial for me for my past short-lived relationship. 100% insightful video, overall, thank you, Jonathon
Happy to hear it helped
All FACTS!
That's true you shouldn't have taken forever and you should spend time together
That’s why dating apps ask if your looking for friendship, casual, long term relationship, marriage. You both need to want the same things.
Indeed