To summarize this video: 1- The guys whose words don't match their actions, and vice-versa 2- The lazy guys 3- The stubborn guys 4- Boys that call you "a female" 5- Men who don't check their friends 6- Men who only value women that they are either attached or attracted to 7- Guys who disregard your feelings/ they gaslight you 8- Prideful guys who are easily embarassed/ they care too much about their image 9- The guys who want to be with the cool kids
@@shytwithstds Here's a better way to articulate the list into what I think she meant to say 1.) Men or women who have a bad case of cognitive dissonance, most of us do as its a process where new information conflicts with an existing belief, most times resulting in us shutting down, disregarding, or rationalizing to protect the core belief, but since that could be confused with stubbornness I digress specifically to actions. More specifically when it's consistently happening. And for things important to you or your spouse, promises. Example: I'm not abusive, *hits girlfriend* "cognitive dissonance" then the bigger red flag, if they attempt to rationalize actions "you shouldn't have made me mad" LEAVE. 3.) More complex of a topic as she kind of touches on 3 things but if I'm correct in my abridge then her articulation was just poor. If not then I'm lead to assume she means compliance, not what I've written below. Words have meaning, and just as humans took the bible and interpreted it in many different ways the same can be done with poor articulation. listening; is simply better communication skills or more specifically the art of listening. Willingness to change or be corrected along with stubbornness; I believe is translated to "compromise", a very important thing in relationships, if they're not willing to compromise this communicates a disregard for what you want on the subject and depending on what that is RUN. 7.) A touchy one to say the least, feelings get in the way of what's right and wrong a lot and humans have a lot of them, you can have all the right motives and still do all the wrong things . But I hate typing so ill reference some sources instead. Nietzsche: Beyond Good and Evil & The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. Things to focus on; morals, what is right and wrong? And words of affirmation. Goal: To hopefully help you understand and communicate with your spouse so they don't feel like you're disregarding their feelings or gaslighting them. Even though, their feelings might be what's wrong not you. Hints, the touchy subject, it's a case-by-case thing reading the books should help you understand navigation, developing practices/mindsets that help this type of issue be overlooked or solved. I hope this helps you not feel so down man, and if it makes you feel any better I believe most of the rest are completely subjective. Overall we can't change people, only provide them more wisdom, love, compassion, show dem da way, lead by example. Then hope they are good enough people to make the right decision on their own, some don't, but some just don't know the right decision yet. Before you get with someone consider the thought of if they didn't change ever. Could you marry that? if the answer is no then you most likely shouldn't be with them. admitting problems is the first and most difficult step to overcoming them. But its what u do that defines you, not what you are on the inside. And remember, the road to hell is pathed with good intentions.
So glad someone else said it!! Birds of the same feather flock together! Men who don't check their friends is a big No No. No one is perfect but if a man can't hold his friends accountable or be accountable to Godly counsel.
For those who dont "agree" with the "check your friends" bit, that looks different based on your personal standards on human decency and your personality. From there you gauge the social repercussions. It's not about being someone's mother 🙄 or trying to change them (no one can change a person, they have to want to change for themselves) It's about upholding human decency if you are a decent person. You and your social circle will be the judge of that. If you have a friend who does something that doesn't sit right with you (stealing from people, beating up his girlfriends, disrespecting his mother etc.) What are your personal social repercussions for it? It speaks alot to your character and signals to other people the influences you keep around you.
one of Lloyd’s most toxic traits is he can be very stubborn. It led Lloyd to lose the love of his life. Lloyd won’t ever make that mistake again. Love this channel by the way! ♥️
I love this video. The fashion, the persona, the banter and the truth! Go girl. May your year be truly peaceful and may God's peace guard your heart no matter what Clemson your way!
Its strange I literally dumped a guy a few days ago for possessing 3 of thesee traits. It was rather draining, hearing all of this makes me thankful for the decision I made 😅🙏🏻
I used to see this guy who would open the car door for me and carry bags for me, pay for dates but in the end.. he never wanted a serious relationship and wanted something casual. So sometimes the signs are hard to clock 😞
@@macman9689 same thing for me. But then I realized that that should be the bare minimum:/ like every guy should be a gentleman! So we gotta look for more past that
I love this list. I agree with everything said. These are all of the things I don't want in a relationship, any kind. I dream of starting a relationship with a man who does not have any of those traits.
i do this and there's a very good reason. i call them females because a woman is a title you have to earn and you females don't like earning anything these days. you can call yourself "princess" all day long but you'll never be one. that's the problem.
@@eotikurac Well if you like to speak grammatically incorect, then you do you...I'm talking about the guys who will call a woman a "female" and act like the word "woman" doesn't exist. Do you walk around calling men "males"?
@@princessjasmin4218 all government documents say male/female, not man/woman i still love you jasmine :* if it was your birthday today i would kiss all four cheeks, sweetie. and in the middle, no worries. mwa!
The point about guys that only respect those that they have affiliation with is 😫🔥🔥 PLEASE THIS NEEDS TO BE SHOUTED in some people’s ears!! People ought to be treated with dignity because of their humanity, period! (This video was getting me garaged 🔥🔥😅😂)
Your energy, I like it! What about a man that has: Low self esteem- due too their trauma Has no friends- due to their bad experiences in their past. What's your opinion on that?
You may get this notification or not.. But it's not your job to fix him - we aren't rehabs for broken men! We are the cheerleaders, they are the football player, and the therapist is the coach. You don't see the cheerleader catching the ball and running it down the field, she has her roll of cheering and if he cant win the game, she's not there to do it for him. Hope that helped 😊
I strongly disagree with the "check your friends" part. You're not supposed to be someone's moral compass. You're not your friend's mom / dad / priest / shrink... whatever. That doesn't mean you're not going to speak your mind if you think somethin's not right, but if people think they ought to change someone's behaviour just because that's how they see life, then there's a problem. Besides, what I've noticed is that people tend to "check" too strongly on their friends not because they're worried about their friend, but because how their behaviour makes them look.
After watching this vid I've realised you girls are gonna need to do some serious searching to find a man if you wanna avoid all these characteristics.
To summarize this video:
1- The guys whose words don't match their actions, and vice-versa
2- The lazy guys
3- The stubborn guys
4- Boys that call you "a female"
5- Men who don't check their friends
6- Men who only value women that they are either attached or attracted to
7- Guys who disregard your feelings/ they gaslight you
8- Prideful guys who are easily embarassed/ they care too much about their image
9- The guys who want to be with the cool kids
I am literally 1 through 9 .....
@@shytwithstds Here's a better way to articulate the list into what I think she meant to say
1.) Men or women who have a bad case of cognitive dissonance, most of us do as its a process where new information conflicts with an existing belief, most times resulting in us shutting down, disregarding, or rationalizing to protect the core belief, but since that could be confused with stubbornness I digress specifically to actions. More specifically when it's consistently happening. And for things important to you or your spouse, promises. Example: I'm not abusive, *hits girlfriend* "cognitive dissonance" then the bigger red flag, if they attempt to rationalize actions "you shouldn't have made me mad" LEAVE.
3.) More complex of a topic as she kind of touches on 3 things but if I'm correct in my abridge then her articulation was just poor. If not then I'm lead to assume she means compliance, not what I've written below. Words have meaning, and just as humans took the bible and interpreted it in many different ways the same can be done with poor articulation.
listening; is simply better communication skills or more specifically the art of listening.
Willingness to change or be corrected along with stubbornness; I believe is translated to "compromise", a very important thing in relationships, if they're not willing to compromise this communicates a disregard for what you want on the subject and depending on what that is RUN.
7.) A touchy one to say the least, feelings get in the way of what's right and wrong a lot and humans have a lot of them, you can have all the right motives and still do all the wrong things
. But I hate typing so ill reference some sources instead. Nietzsche: Beyond Good and Evil & The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.
Things to focus on; morals, what is right and wrong? And words of affirmation. Goal: To hopefully help you understand and communicate with your spouse so they don't feel like you're disregarding their feelings or gaslighting them. Even though, their feelings might be what's wrong not you. Hints, the touchy subject, it's a case-by-case thing reading the books should help you understand navigation, developing practices/mindsets that help this type of issue be overlooked or solved.
I hope this helps you not feel so down man, and if it makes you feel any better I believe most of the rest are completely subjective. Overall we can't change people, only provide them more wisdom, love, compassion, show dem da way, lead by example. Then hope they are good enough people to make the right decision on their own, some don't, but some just don't know the right decision yet. Before you get with someone consider the thought of if they didn't change ever. Could you marry that? if the answer is no then you most likely shouldn't be with them.
admitting problems is the first and most difficult step to overcoming them.
But its what u do that defines you, not what you are on the inside.
And remember, the road to hell is pathed with good intentions.
I don’t understand 6, how is 6 a bad thing?
@@Ivan-xk4uy like the guy who wont let any guy date his 15 year old daughter but plays cardi b in the car on the way home from school??? 😂 not sure
So every man I’ve ever met
So glad someone else said it!! Birds of the same feather flock together! Men who don't check their friends is a big No No. No one is perfect but if a man can't hold his friends accountable or be accountable to Godly counsel.
Also to avoid men that are stingy please
Yessss
Hebanna!! You'll get that man who is not stingy and then complain when he orders you around because he pays for EVERYTHING.
@@brix25 shut up
Avoid gold diggers
Men should avoid women who talk about "stingy men" . Ladies pay for your own shit, you are not a prostitute!!!!
Why do men refer to women as females 😂 like, a female what? So weird
Giiiiirrrrrllllll " Men .. and Women .. who don't check their friends " 🙌. Louder though, just a bit louder 😳
For those who dont "agree" with the "check your friends" bit, that looks different based on your personal standards on human decency and your personality. From there you gauge the social repercussions. It's not about being someone's mother 🙄 or trying to change them (no one can change a person, they have to want to change for themselves) It's about upholding human decency if you are a decent person. You and your social circle will be the judge of that.
If you have a friend who does something that doesn't sit right with you (stealing from people, beating up his girlfriends, disrespecting his mother etc.) What are your personal social repercussions for it? It speaks alot to your character and signals to other people the influences you keep around you.
Women deserve respect because we're human beings made in the image of God, not because we're a man's relative
I needed to hear this today, thank you. He has been dumped to the curb.
one of Lloyd’s most toxic traits is he can be very stubborn. It led Lloyd to lose the love of his life. Lloyd won’t ever make that mistake again. Love this channel by the way! ♥️
Nah Bro Lloyd is a king He's a boss, that girl is just insecure cause too many women want Lloyd
“The males, how do you like it”😂😂😂sis really went there lol IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE JUST STOP ITTTT! 👏🏾😅 yess preach it sis
Make up looks boom! Love the top. ♥️🔥
I love this video. The fashion, the persona, the banter and the truth! Go girl. May your year be truly peaceful and may God's peace guard your heart no matter what Clemson your way!
Its strange I literally dumped a guy a few days ago for possessing 3 of thesee traits. It was rather draining, hearing all of this makes me thankful for the decision I made 😅🙏🏻
I have met soo many guys who say stuff like "this person got that many likes/followers" etc and its really unattractive
I used to see this guy who would open the car door for me and carry bags for me, pay for dates but in the end.. he never wanted a serious relationship and wanted something casual. So sometimes the signs are hard to clock 😞
exactly
@@macman9689 same thing for me. But then I realized that that should be the bare minimum:/ like every guy should be a gentleman! So we gotta look for more past that
I love this list. I agree with everything said. These are all of the things I don't want in a relationship, any kind. I dream of starting a relationship with a man who does not have any of those traits.
Opposite of stubborn is called being flexible and open minded.
Ahh the last wisdom yu dropped at the end was much needed aha “if it’s holding you back, LEAVE IT” 💛
Honestly what do we call those men who want you to buy them stuff when you two aren't even dating or whatever. (????) That "Wanna buy this for me?"
I love your videos. You should also do "the type of women to avoid"
Equality 👍
This video made me larrrrfff. Thank you for this Adella. 🌹 And the makeup in this video is STUNNING. Did you have falsies on or is this eyeliner?
when i saw the shirt you chose to wear i knew i can trust you
Discovered your videos recently, and have found my YT channel of 2021! :D I'm so excited to have found you!
You’re so articulate, and I love your content 😊❤️
Your personality ehn💯💯, thanks for this❤️❤️
Love you and your videos!! Can’t wait to see more of you this year 🎉
Love your top & this video was accurate and funny😂 love your personality!
Just people to avoid in general
the way you said FASHON! 😂😂😂 love your videos Adella full of truth and humour
One of my BIGGEST pet peeves is when a man refers to women as "females"...I cringe every time
i do this and there's a very good reason. i call them females because a woman is a title you have to earn and you females don't like earning anything these days. you can call yourself "princess" all day long but you'll never be one. that's the problem.
@@eotikurac exactly thank you
Calling a woman a “female” is equivalent to calling a man a “fuckboy”. Same idea
@@eotikurac Well if you like to speak grammatically incorect, then you do you...I'm talking about the guys who will call a woman a "female" and act like the word "woman" doesn't exist. Do you walk around calling men "males"?
@@princessjasmin4218 all government documents say male/female, not man/woman
i still love you jasmine :*
if it was your birthday today i would kiss all four cheeks, sweetie. and in the middle, no worries. mwa!
I love the VIM in this video! 😂👏🏾 Please you are making sense Adella!🔥
The point about guys that only respect those that they have affiliation with is 😫🔥🔥 PLEASE THIS NEEDS TO BE SHOUTED in some people’s ears!! People ought to be treated with dignity because of their humanity, period!
(This video was getting me garaged 🔥🔥😅😂)
I needed this video like 6 years ago but glad i know now 😂 thanks sis
I was just about to say this would have been real handy when I first started dating 😭
Avoid BROKE MEN
Adella be spitting fire🔥🔥
The men who borrow YOUR money, don't do it. You'll never see the light of day! or 'forget' their wallet.
Where is your top from my girl?!😍 I love your look ❤️
😂😂😂😂 adella is just funny with her facials 😂
Happy new year Adella. You look good though
paul from blue therapy has checked all most all of these!!!!
that's what I wanted to say
This kind of video really makes me question what kind of men are you women getting involved with...
Can we see this outfit thooo!? 😍💜💜🥰
First of, you're hella pretty. 💕Secondly, love your energy & thirdly, I am here for this content. ✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾
make a 2022 one haha
Basically I need to leave myself in 2020 lol
Very fashionable blouse, enjoy your content
Happy New Year!!
Ty
Your energy, I like it!
What about a man that has:
Low self esteem- due too their trauma
Has no friends- due to their bad experiences in their past. What's your opinion on that?
You may get this notification or not.. But it's not your job to fix him - we aren't rehabs for broken men! We are the cheerleaders, they are the football player, and the therapist is the coach. You don't see the cheerleader catching the ball and running it down the field, she has her roll of cheering and if he cant win the game, she's not there to do it for him. Hope that helped 😊
@@sim771 thank you, your 100% right. Thank you very much 😊
@@Babiielicous1996 good luck girl you got this 😎😎 keep being your most awesome self!
@@sim771 thank you, your very blessed 🙌🏾
I strongly disagree with the "check your friends" part. You're not supposed to be someone's moral compass. You're not your friend's mom / dad / priest / shrink... whatever. That doesn't mean you're not going to speak your mind if you think somethin's not right, but if people think they ought to change someone's behaviour just because that's how they see life, then there's a problem.
Besides, what I've noticed is that people tend to "check" too strongly on their friends not because they're worried about their friend, but because how their behaviour makes them look.
I'm new 2 u. But the energy is transferable and I'm enjoying ur site. #takecare
The males!!! 💯
It applies to self identification as well. Do I see this on me? 🤔 Rectify or you will be left behind girlie🤭
Wanna see the full outfit😍😍
Hand on the Bible, honest question: what’s wrong with calling women/ladies female? Or what’s wrong to referring to them as female? 🙏🏾
call em' girls
same goes for women, so why 'men'? maybe you meant people.
You look beautiful~~
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
ditto!
This is a loooooooook wow😍😍😍
The males))
Happy Belated New Year To Guys Today...!!!😘🇺🇸💕👌🏾💯
Men to avoid but where’s her man at lol 😂
So if he's not in the camera, he doesn't exist 😂 where's your woman?
She has a whole husband
Fr this girl think she all that 😂
After watching this vid I've realised you girls are gonna need to do some serious searching to find a man if you wanna avoid all these characteristics.
That's ok. We're not lazy.
You guys want Women to settle for mediocrity too much.
Yoh I'm thee first one🤗🤗
She sounds controlling willingness to do this and that and to bad cause she gorgeous chocolate
You sound ignorant with bad comprehension skills