I had to put my boy/girl twins in separate rooms around 6 months old. They constantly woke each other up. Do what’s best for you and your family. I wanted so badly for my twins to room together but it just wasn’t what was best for us.
I’m a twin and I’ve always had my own room I think the same thing happened to my parents we were on opposite sleep schedules. We napped together but at night we were in our own rooms. Hope everything works out❤️
Just remember that you are beautiful just the way you are girly. I’ve been having the same problem. Wake up every morning and tell yourself you are beautiful and perfectly made and through out the day remind yourself that you are. You will get through this. Know that you are loved and your not alone. ❤️
Le Z Me too. I don't recognize myself anymore. My once thin body has turned into a puff pastry after taking steroids for lupus the last five years. I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm with you and I support you!
Keep telling yourself that every inch of you is beautiful. Even though I don't know you, I am pretty sure that you are absolutely beautiful. We all have flaws. Embrace them. Those flaws are what makes each one of us unique and beautiful. Look in that mirror of yours and tell yourself you're beautiful! I think each of us as women are most beautiful when we just be ourselves. #YouAreSoBeautiful
Have a lot of confidence issues. One thing I do is listen to Pink. She has a lot of songs that are about being what you are and how good you are as you are. I think everyone is having issues this year. It is just a shitty year
Honey!!! Separate them asap! Babies will get used to it before you do. It was my only saving grace with my twins. 1 night and they slept all night! Eventually I was able to have them in the same room after about 3 months.
Thank you for showing the real and raw side of parenting. I promise it makes other feel sane and normal. I love seeing you grow and love on each other... And your kiddies are so darn cute. :) I have no advise, but I hope this season of no sleep passes sooner rather than later for you. Or even just the season of the boys letting Justin calm them... That would make everyone happy :) maybe drench Justin's shirts in your breast milk?? And perfumes :) lol Good luck guys, we are all praying and sending love xx
My advice is to sleep/nap train when you are ready. 3 Day sleep solution. I did it at 4 months and my twins still sleep in the same room. It was a hard 2 days but they still sleep through the night. 26 month old twins ♥️
My twins were born when I was 17 years old they are now 14 years old and honestly I don’t even know how we did it the first year, but you are the most amazing mom in the whole world and it will get better & easier. Make sure you are taking care of yourself too. 🥰
You're not alone. As a new mom of twin boys (12 weeks), sleep has been one of the most struggling things we've worked through. It's hard for me not to function without it so I took Taking Cara Babies as well and feel like I haven't been able to implement anything since they are so different and sleep next to each other. Hard for anyone else to understand the struggles, but know you're heard. Thank you for your kind words at the end, I needed that.
One day you will look back on this and wonder how you did it and be proud of yourself. You are a great Mum. I remember having 1 baby that never slept let alone 2 and a toddler. You are amazing parents xx
I have constantly struggled with sleep with my twins (now 13 months). It is so hard and I’m sending you a hug! I truthfully have no good advice except to give yourself (and the boys) grace. I had to stop listening to people talking about their babies sleeping through the night, the sleep training, the outings they could do because their schedule was always on point.. The fatigue is just never ending in the first 9 months. I hit an uphill swing at 9 and it’s even still a work in progress. Having two babies that need comforted at the same time is tough and you are Wonder Woman and will get through this!! Do WHATEVER you need to do.. separate them.. maintain an opposite schedule.. whatever they and you need.
I have identical twin boys who are 4 now. We did not get on a consistent/in-sync nap schedule until they were about 8 months old. I was at home by myself on maternity leave for the first year, and I survived by going out somewhere every afternoon, so we all had a change of scenary, and they often caught a car nap. I regularly just packed them up and put them in the car and drove for an hour so they could get a bit of sleep and I could get a break by listening to music and singing along. Twin life the first year is just survival!
Definitely try separating them! My girls are 9 months old and are both very light sleepers. Once we put them in different rooms at night they stopped waking each other up. I felt like I was up every hour getting them back to sleep & now they only wake up once during the night. Naps were HARD until around 7 months. I struggled with nap time for so long, I’m with you! They were always awake at different times gave me good bonding time with each baby but I never had a moment to myself(also have a 4 year old). Now at 9 months they both take 2-2 hour naps a day at the same time. I think it came more with age, it definitely got easier to sleep train and now they go right down on schedule. It’s so hard and only other multiple parents truly understand how hard it is. You’re both doing amazing & it gets easier soon. 💕💕
I’m sorry your struggling. Being a twin mom is SO rewarding but sometimes it’s really hard! I’ve had days when all I can do is cry. What helped me with sleeping was I was very consistent with the times that they slept. It was every day at the same time, in the same place no matter what. Try doing naps in their swings but put the swings in a quiet place, maybe in their bedroom. Also they aren’t too young to sleep train. As long as they are 13lbs and over. I sleep trained my twins at 3 months old. I know the babywise programs seems outdated but it’s sooooo helpful. The tips and scheduling their routine was really helpful. Hang in there, you’re doing great !
I had my boys on opposite ends of the room and I just made sure I fed them a hefty before bed bottle or a little cereal after supper just to have them sleep deeper. I also used zero light and mild white noise. It was hard but now my boys are 4 and they do bedtimes easy and happily so hopefully you'll get there soon
I know that you have lots to do, but you should sleep in the daytime when the kids are sleeping. Justin can play with Emma. For you to be a good mom you must take care of yourself! Just try for a week, you will feel like a new person. 💖
Thank you for showing the raw and uncut of parenting. You got this momma. It's hard with multiple kids, sometimes us mommas need a break or walk away for a second, don't be ashamed to cry or walking away from the kids so you can catch your breath. Much love to you guys ❌⭕❌⭕
Twin mom here boy and girl 2.5 yrs down in east San Diego county.. we should connect. I know the struggle of 2 separate sleepers because my did that. I feel you, I did the drives the walk the bouncing.. best thing that worked for me Is put the good sleeper in a swing( like the ones you have) put some soft music one and let them go. Swaddle my girl give her a bottle and rock her on my recliner eventually we both would fall asleep. Reason I say bottle because I wanted/ needed dads help, so I thought if I start the bottle than I can give dad the bottle. And it worked. Sometimes she slept sometimes not. But I made sure she at least closed her eyes. Once my son woke up, I got up with her. I knew I need them on same schedule. Now both sleep in there own beds at same time nap and night. Just have so stay consistent.. love you guys, wish lots of luck!
Hey Rachelle. I’ve watched your every one of your videos since the video when you announced you were pregnant with Brynn. I’m not a mother myself yet, however, I feel like watching you go through every high and low as a parent, prepares me just that little bit more for when I’ve got my own babies. I love that you show the reality of what parenthood is like- especially with newborns. I love that you also show how you and Justin communicate as a team, me and my partner have been working really hard on communication lately ( starting to work on our relationship in preparation for kiddies in a few years) and seeing how you guys handle the hard parts of parenthood, really makes me feel supported moving through my life. I hope this makes sense- but yeah, thank you to you and your family for giving others the opportunity to learn and feel supported. You’re a great mother, and Justin a great father- I hope things look up soon❤️ Bless
I SO love Brad & Rach!! The very first time I watched them, and if I had no experience with kids, I would have lost my mind on how Rach is with the twins, because she has told them "you have legs, you can walk to get it" - I would have immediately thought "OMG - WHY talk to your kids like that?!" But since watching them for a while - I totally understand their way of parenting, and I just LOVE IT! They're teaching them to be able to do things for themselves SO YOUNG. They're just AMAZING!
You are doing so great! Twins can be so wonderful but also overwhelming and exhausting. When I was in university I nannied 2 twin boys starting when they were 4 months. The best thing for them was putting them in different rooms for bedtime and naps too. They would wake each other up or like your boys one would fall asleep and the other would fuss and need lots of interventions to get them to sleep. While sometimes they refused to sleep all together. If that happened I would try to keep them up until their next nap. If they finally fall asleep and the other one awakes from finishing their nap I would let them sleep for 30 minutes. Then push out the next nap for both or the bedtime whichever is next. Go with the flow mama you got this!!
My twin boys never wanted to sleep/eat at the same time but I knew for my sanity that I had to keep them on the same schedule. So I laid them down with their bottles (usually pumped and bottle fed them). They would fall asleep while eating and stayed on the same schedule that way. Then when they were old enough to sleep train them, I had to just let them cry it out. Didn’t take long for them to realize they either need to go to sleep or just lay there quietly. I was able to keep them on the same schedule this way. Good luck, every kiddo is different.
That message at the end made me cry. This year has been one disaster after another, and I’m trying so hard to recover: my husband’s grandma died in January while we were at Disney World so we couldn’t conceive and start a family, I turned 30, then March-July I was the coordinator for my elementary school and was pushed to my absolute limits with remote learning and impossible expectations, August I miscarried and had to leave my toxic job after 7 years and my incredible boss resigned, September I found out 3 close family and friends were pregnant, and had to find a new job.....which has turned out to be a job I’ll work 60 hours at each week. My severe depression has been debilitating. I’m just going to keep replaying the end of this video over and over for a few minutes because it’s what I need right now. Thank you.
No twins so no advice but props to you for a acknowledging that they are completely different babies and what works for one isn’t going to work for another and separating them. I hope it works for you and gives you some time back to yourself! Thank you for showing the hard stuff as well as the good, parenting is amazing but it is also really bloody hard and draining and you have 3 under 3, you are a star!
Your message at the end was really needed right now. Thank you ❤️ I have no experience with twins but I will pray for your family. You will get through this!! And let’s just acknowledge how supportive Justin is all the time. Love you guys ❤️🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻
Oh girl, I cried with you in this one !! My identical Girls are now 13 and trust me I can’t get them out of bed !! BUT.......... Damm in those early days OMGosh I thought I was going to die. I would drive them around, I wanted a Night Nanny, I would bake Muffins I’m the middle of the night just to keep my eyes open. I also had a 7 & 4 year old to care for. It was Hard !!! And I cried buckets......... I also fed them. I knew a family that had triplets 9 months older than my girls and I one night broke down and cried to their Dad. I was tired I was overwhelmed I felt so incredibly lost. He said “Jill you need to sleep train them. If one cries leave them both, in the short term they will wake each other but after awhile it will not happen. When one cries the other will not stir” I didn’t believe him He also followed with “if I can handle 3 you WILL survive 2”. I went home and I did as he said. I don’t believe in Cry it out ( or what ever it’s called). But I did learn to settle reassure and leave them. You know how to do this, you did it with Emma. It’s the same just with 2. But don’t seperate them you will make double the work load for you. Do it together. It took me about a week. And oh dear I never looked back. I have since gone on to have 2 more babies after them and let’s just say we sleep trained them early. Sweetheart this stage is incredible and incredibly hard all at the same time. As I said my twins are now 13 and I can say I honestly wished a lot of their baby years away. But you know what. You will get through it. And then before you and Justin know it they will be all grown up xoxox Hugs and lots of love from a Twin Mumma to another xox
My twins are 37 years old but we went to bottle at 5 or 6 months and my husband had 1 in a bedroom and I had the other one in a bedroom...worked for us..did this for about 2 months!
The message at the end. Hit me so hard and brought me to tears. I new mom to one baby. And I can’t even imagine twins. It had been so hard with pandemic and all. Thank you for that. As for sleep tip. Sound machine! My lil one is a light sleeper. Opening the door wakes her up. With sound machine. She doesn’t notice and sleeps longer.
My twins are 3.5 years old now but they’ve slept together from 5 days old to the present day. They didn’t sleep unless they were touching each other. I know they’re separate humans but the schedule was very very important to keep because I have an older son that needed one on one time. Do what works for the boys. My biggest advice is ignore the “leaps” stuff. Kids and adults have rough days, but adding the mental stress of them being in a “leap” seems to make the stress levels rise for mamas and daddies
Hang in there Rachelle, it gets easier. We have 2 year old triplets. I still remember the sleep struggles. I found once they could roll their sleeps in their crib got a lot better. Morning nap was usually spent in the swing I blasted the lullabies on the swings and eventually when they heard that music it cued them for sleep. I could sit on the couch and watch them or fold laundry. We’d try and keep our sleepy guy awake to match the girls naps as best we could. And when they were taking 2 and 3 naps a day the last one was always out on a walk. They would usually all fall asleep when I walked with them. I listened to an auto book and got some down time. We don’t have an older child so I know that must make it harder. For night time we didn’t wake them up to eat and our one girl started sleeping 6 hours stretches around 4 months so that made things easier. My husband and I also broke up the night. I slept 8-1am In our room and he slept in the babies room then we’d switch and he slept 2-7am. I’d pump when I first got up and would sleep until a baby woke up. You guys are doing amazing! ❤️❤️❤️
We always kept the twins together and on the same schedule. It did teach them to learn to sleep thru each other’s noises for the most part but being in a leap adds extra challenges. You’ve sleep trained a baby before. You got this and trust what you think will be best. 🥰
Big hug to you Rachelle. I don't have twins, but my daughter was 23 months old when I had my son, so I know how hard & stressful it is to take of a newborn & a toddler, plus run a household, be a wife, etc. You are doing great! My kids are now 19 & 17. I am battling depression and anxiety right now because my Momma died almost 2 yrs ago. It will be 2 yrs Dec 12th. Y'alls videos are what I look forward to watching. Emma is such a sweet girl, the boys are adorable, & you and Justin are awesome. I love following y'all. It is always nice when we get to see your mom as well. I have been here since you found out you were pregnant with Brynn. I hope you have a good day. I hope tonight is a little better. Praying for y'all. 💕💕💕💕
When Justin just held you when you were overwhelmed reminded me of my husband. Always there to comfort me when I need it the most! You two are one of the few couples I look up to 💛
Thanks for this. Sometimes on here and social media it seems like everyone has it all under control and you feel so alone that you don’t. People need to be more open about the struggles
I know how you feel with the off schedule. I am a mom of 3 but also work in a daycare as an infant teacher with babies who have different schedules. With my own kids as babies i would keep them awake longer that usual just to get them on a consistent schedule. I had to hired out exactly how long their naps are to time when their naps need to be. My 2 older boys take 1 to 2 naps a day ages 2 and 3 and go to bed at 8:30 pm. They wake up at 7 am every morning. My baby girl who is almost 4 months old wakes up at 700 am as well, takes a nap after 2 to 3 hours of being awake, will nap throughout the day and goes to bed around 9 to 9:30 pm. I would honestly find a schedule that works best for your family but i hope my comment helps somehow
Bless you, Rachelle and Justin. I only had one baby, but I had no help. During his leaps, I literally sat on the couch topless and pumped whichever side he was not own. I was so overwhelmed. We made it though by God’s grace. Now, my baby is 18. 😭
I have three sons, all close, but not twins. They are now in their early 20's, and all I can say, is that you will get through it! I know it's hard, but it doesn't last long. Sleep patterns change. Thank goodness for that.
Oh Rachelle, I felt every word you said about the boys' sleep regression to my very core. I tell everyone that the absolute hardest time having twins was their 4 month sleep regression. I was back to work full time days and my husband worked full time nights, there was a couple week stretch where I was seeing every single hour of the day/night. As far as advice, I'm not sure I have any. We talked multiple times about separating our twins but I kept coming back to something I read that said if you want them to share a room long term they need to get used to each other's sounds. Now my twins are 21 months and one is a climber so he's constantly climbing into his brother's crib and we're back to the do we or don't we separate them discussion. But...they do sleep through each other's noises now, even full on crying! Just know that this will pass and it will get better, I promise 💙💙
The last part was awesome. Not gonna lie I when I watch TH-cam videos of other moms it always seems like everyone has it together and has patience. I have a one year old and a 5 year old. It’s not super hard but in the beginning it was hard and I definitely have days where my patience is no where to be found. I love when people show the real life of parenting it definitely isn’t all glitz and glamor ❤️ your doing a amazing job girl ! What I try to do is think of my children all grown up and how quick time is flying by! 🙏🏻
I am a twin momma as well. (Identical twin boys 2 years old) The toughest part was when they were still eating in the middle of the night and keeping them on the same schedule. We ended up keeping our boys in the same room and they eventually learned how to sleep through each others cries. Which was nice because now they sleep through everything. Once you get over the night time feeds and “sleep train” them. Then it is smoother sailing from there. We just had to transition our boys into toddler beds in the same room and now they sleep on the floor together because they refuse to sleep in there beds. 🤦🏼♀️ As much as it hurts to hear it, it is a phase momma and this too shall pass. Chin up!
It’s nice to know I am not alone. I didn’t think I was, but seeing the raw emotional bit at the end was refreshing. My husband and I only have our 4 month old son. However, he is a handful especially since we are new to parenthood. It’s been one hell of an adjustment. I also struggle a lot with my mental health and I try really hard to hold it together most days, but every couple days when lack of sleep and patience runs dry... I have my break down moments. Parenthood is 100% the best thing to ever happen to my husband and I, but it is also the HARDEST thing we have ever done. You are amazing parents and you have an amazing family! ❤️
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Oh Rachelle. If you knew how I feel you! I'm a mom of 5, and my 2 youngest are twins boy/girl who are just a few days apart from yours. We're exactly in your situation. It is SO hard. I don't think anyone who didn't live it can truly understand the struggle! From my experience, 4 to 6 months is always really hard. They are a lot more awake and need to be entertained a lot but are not able to do it by themselves. For the twins I can barely get them to sleep at the same time but I am trying to find my ways and sometimes I would rather have them sleep one after another than have them awake (and tired) at the same time. I take that time to carry the baby that's awake, to play with them and to rock them a little more. I really try to enjoy them since we can't when they're both awake. We don't get much done during that time of course, but a mom I know, with all her wisdom once told me that the more you fight it the harder it will get. We can't do it all. It's hard because we try to do it all. We need to try to focus on our babies and time will pass by that we won't remember that we are so many grilled cheese (not for you and I, I know, I'm cutting dairy too) and that the house was a mess. When nighttime comes, I take the most grumpy baby and rock him/her until they fall asleep really hard and then go put them to bed. If the other baby cries my husband takes care of him/her. When I'm done, I do the same with the other one. Gives me the opportunity to cuddle each of my babies, to have the feeling I have some sort of end of the day enjoyment (I can watch YT videos ... this is what I did while watching yours). I take a long bath while daddy rocks the babies before bedtime, right after supper, this gives me a little time to myself too! I do swaddle them really hard still and helps with sleep. I do cry here and there too from exhaustion, but remember that all of this is just a phase!
I am not a twin mama, but I am a mama of an 8.5m boy and I remember the 4/5m regression. It was the hardest time! I also did TCB and she was the greatest. My son, Wyatt did the best in the darkest room possible, swaddled with the Velcro swaddle, loud sound machine, and 69 degrees. Just remember this phase does not last forever, maybe a couple of weeks! I think you’re smart to separate the boys. Trust your gut. You have the owlet, so I wouldn’t worry at all about putting him a different room. It will benefit everyone! You’re doing amazing. ❤️
My girls are about a month and a half older than your boys. They went through a huge sleep regression around the same time and they were horrible sleepers. One would constantly wake the other. We pushed through because we didn’t have their room ready for them. They learned to sleep through each other’s cries and other noises during that time. It’s so hard and exhausting but now they can sleep anywhere with any kind of noise. I’m not there to know exactly what you’re going through, but just know I’m praying for you. Hugs mama 💕
Oh Rachelle, I just want to give you a hug. When I'm struggling, my Mom has always reminded me, and still does to this day, that this too shall pass. I've always found comfort in that. Hugs to you!
triplet nanny over here! 65+ hours a week i was with the fmaily. all boys (yes three boys!) i started when they were 5.5 months but they were three months early so they were 2.5 months old developmentally. I was the one who slept trained them for naps. and i kept them all in the same room. keeping to the schedule was key. i tried my best never to let a triplet sleep not during nap time. naps were 8:30-10. 11:30-1. 2:30-4 and then a cat nap at 5. we did take away three naps until almsot 7 months. they were almost terrible if they were overtired. we used moms on call and LOVED the schedule they had. it worked perfect for multiples. many multiple moms i spoke with had a similar schedule
I know you are probably getting sooo much twins advice but I’ll put mine in anyway ☺️ I separated my b/g twins at 2 months old because one could definitely do longer stretches at night than the other. Once I separated them, they both started sleeping through the night. I put them in pack and plays right next to each other but now that they are almost four months old, they are waking each other up again. So we are now moving them across the room from each other and putting a sound machine in between them. Works like a charm!!
Hang in there! You are awesome parents. At 5 months you can sleep train them or 12 pounds. no more than1- 2 hours awake at a time. I think they are probably over stimulated. Expect at least a 2 hour nap each nap. Morning and afternoon. A shorter evening snooze. Put them down and walk out. I know that sounds awful but you will be so happy you did it. In the beginning go back touch them no talking 5, 10 , 15 , 20 then you don’t go back. Schedule feedings between sleep. I would separate them while sleep training. If they wake at night do the same thing. Not sure what their eating schedule is at night but they should only be eating one time a night. In a month you can wean that feeding. For your sanity they must be on the same schedule. I did triplets and a set of twins. Works like a charm. If you are consistent. Absolutely no changes in the way you do it. It can take no more than 2 weeks. I hope all goes well for you. You guys need some sleep.
I have a four month old daughter and I'm struggling with just the one. Being a parent is so much more challenging than I anticipated. Thanks for sharing your experience and reminding me that we're all struggling from time to time.
Having twins is HARD! Especially when they’re young. The 4 month sleep regression hit us hard and it felt like one the babies was always awake and/or crying. We kept them in the same room and they learned to sleep through each other’s crying; so that’s a definite perk when one is up in the night. But you do what’s best for your family! I promise it gets better and easier! My girls are 18 months now and I sometimes wonder how we survived the newborn days.
I don’t quite understand since I don’t have twins but I do have a daughter who’s 1 and still never wants to sleep and when she does, its a hassle to get her down. But you guys have got this, you’re so much stronger than you both know! I’m a single mom and I’m trying my best and I know you are too. Just know those babies will always know they’re loved by you two ❤️❤️
I feel this. I only have one, a 2 month old but she’s our first and sleep has been a struggle since she was born. She only calms down for me. And staying home because of covid doesn’t help anything. We are all in this together Mama! Don’t be afraid to ask for help! 💕
I think separation is the best thing, that way they both get into their pattern. Hugs!! The boys will be changing everything they do. Your parents intuitions will know what will work. Strength, patience and love to get through these time..🙏🙏
My twin boys still occasionally disturb each other at night at 2 years old (the cribs are set up virtually the same as Rueben and Ashers). I decided early on, against most things I had read, to treat my twins as individuals. They are two VERY different people and that can make having twins even harder. I know what you are going through and it’s tough- just hang in there because one day things will get easier and you will get more sleep 🤗
I have twins fraternal twins girls.. the best advice I can give u is try your best to keep them on same schedule, mine was also 3 weeks early.. it does get easier but I would literally keep them in bouncer to sleep..or car seat and its ok to let them cry dont feel guilty.. as mine got older I sat outside there door one time for them to go down for a nap and I had to let them cry and it broke my heart but after I did that.. they literally did not give me one bit of a problem after that..of course they were a little bit older but u r one person and they have to learn getting used to your husband also.. its so hard but try your best .. your doing a wonderful job.. many blessings 🙏and yes its ok to separate them for now until they develop a better sleeping pattern
Hi Rachel, you need to remember that every child is it's own little personality. I only had singletons but we never ever had our children sleep in our bedroom. It made us sleep better and the children as well . I also sometimes had to leave one of the littles 'play' by herself. We had a box (playpen) and they just needed to enjoy themselves for a little while. That all said our youngest one is 16 and times have changed. You do you. And that is what you can do!
That message at the end is what I needed to read today. FTM with a 2 week old that literally screamed from 7pm last night untill 9am I've been feeling like im failing. After the loss of my grandmother last month, unplanned c-section, husband getting no leave time and a tounge tie thats making breastfeeding so difficult i just feel so down.
In a way it's actually nice that you showed how much of a struggle it can be with the boys. I just had my first in June and I'd watch your videos and wonder how you have it together all the time with 3 and I'm a mess with 1!
My son and your boys are like a couple days apart, i think. My son(Jru) was born 4/21... and the sleep or lack thereof is REAL! My hat is off to you having two littles to tend to. Im losing my mind with one. Thank you for your rawness and vulnerability. Though I KNOW this season is short & we will look back and laugh at these hard times, its still hard and it feels good being validated. Sending you sleepy dust and all the loves
Hang in there Rachelle, you’re a great mom. You’re a great dad, Justin. Y’all make a great team. I wish I had something to tell you to help. I have one daughter, who is grown now. I’ll pray for y’all. Love you guys! Sending hugs!
I don’t know if you already do this but try a white noise while they’re sleeping. Especially for your light sleeper. It may take a while, but getting them used to sleeping with background noise might help so they don’t easily wake at the slightest of noise.
I agree with someone who said maybe a little cereal before bed and great idea on your part to separate them. You “mama” need rest, you are nursing which burns a lot of energy. It’s ok for you to rest, maybe Justin can bottle feed them while you get some well needed rest. Also, once you separate the boys will you try to let them cry a little to learn self soothing? When I watched my grand kiddies when they were little like your boys, my son would always say “Mom let them cry for 12 minutes, then you can get them if they don’t stop” 12 minutes felt long but 90% of the time they soothes themselves back to sleep. I will keep you all in my prayers. You guys are doing great! Your children are blessed to have you as their parents.
I put my fraternal boy twins in the same room from birth but shortly after it was evident they did not sleep the same. One would wake the other up. No matter how hard I tried they never slept the same or ate the same etc. Two very different babies. I have the spare room so it just made sense to create another space for the other twin. It worked out well! They slept a lot better after. Do what works for you guys...you’ll know the right thing to do. Good luck!
Hi Rachelle & Justin! I am a mom to 6, including a set of twins. This is the ONLY thing that worked for them. Whatever time you set for naps or bed, go back at least a half hour to 45 mins and play with them. Actual physical play - on the floor or bed, and wiggle their arms and legs , or hold their hands and see if they are ready to "stand up" on your lap... whatever it is, just get them moving. Put on music and "dance", or play with stimulating toys - jingle plastic keys, read brightly colored books, whatever it is they like to look at. The added stimulation, even for 15 minutes will tire them out. The remaining time before bed, establish a routine - bath time, maybe a rub down with lotion, pj's, and calmer, soothing music will get them in the "mood" to relax. Even though they are little, they still have energy to burn off. Reuben may have more energy than Asher, and sitting in a swing or seat still keeps him sedentary without an outlet. Once they get playtime 2-3 x a day, you'll see a change, and they will eventually understand (and appreciate!) bedtime. It is frustrating and sometimes overwhelming to figure twins out, but they are such a joy. Also... if you have a pack and play, I would seriously recommend this (when you are ready). Let the boys (esp. Reuben) lay in it for a nap and VACUUM. I did this to every one of my kids, and they all learned to sleep through noise. It may be hard at first, but eventually they will sleep and ignore all the little bumps in the night. Love to you all!! :)
I was curious why you hadn't tried that sooner. I only have one baby but am the sole caregiver at night especially as my husband is horrible at napping and works all day too. It just made more sense for me to look after our son overnight since I could nap with him if he ended up constantly. Thankfully hes been a pretty good sleeper since I was pregnant lol. ANYWAYS, I think trying out separating them makes perfect sense and if you and Justin both get up with them anyways, maybe each take over a twin for a night? Not sure how it would work for you but if you had an especially hard night the day before maybe Justin could bottle feed one baby whenever they wake and need it while you handle the other. I appreciate that you want your own time (my son is 10 weeks and will not sleep away from me the last couple days), but you are doing such a terrific job Rachelle! Take a couple days to listen to your boys and what they're telling you. Maybe some nights one needs a later/earlier bedtime... same for naps! Mama knows best as does dad ❤ You got this!
My fraternal (boy/girl) twins are 5.5 months. I feel you. I have been going through the same thing since 4 months when the sleep regression hit. It was probably close to a month of exhausting cat naps that were not synced and three hour bedtimes. It has been better for about 2 weeks now. I feel you though. You have to do what you have to do. It will get better. Give it a bit more time. I am in the middle of sleep training have have noticed a difference. If you want them to share a room I would just separate them until they get through this hard patch then bring them back once you have sleep trained them... not sure if that is the best advice but might work.
We have almost two year old twin girls. Those first 8 months were brutal with learning their ways and managing our other two. It gets so much better and I actually miss it so much. You’re doing the best you can and that’s all that matters. 💙
I have fraternal boy/girl twins and had a nightmare leap 4 as well as 4 month sleep regression. I bought the Little Ones baby sleep program one tearful night of similar frustrating circumstances and have not looked back since. They really push wake windows, beyond what I was seeing when googling wake windows and it made a night/day difference for both of my babies.
I'm a nanny and the one thing I swear by is a sound machine. I'm not sure if you guys are using one already or not, but I highly suggest giving it a shot. It helps mimick the environment and noise inside the womb. Also could drown out some of the background noise. Which might help to keep Reuben asleep through Asher's wake ups💕
You are super mom!! I had twins 21 years ago and I remember the struggle keeping them on the same schedule. Just know this will only be a short time. Pretty soon they will be running all over and into everything and this will be a distant memory. You are doing great!💙💙
So sorry for you, I feel your pain. As a mother of twins, what worked for me was having them sleep in the same crib together, the comfort of one another helped them sleep together and longer considering they were women buddies doe 8 1/2months.
Twin mama here !!! My boys are also just over 5 months born April 7 :) I discovered your channel while searching all things twins . I did some sleep training this week and results have been incredible . We have separated our boys for naps and nighttime for the time being . The one who wakes for feeds is still in our room also :) I have really enjoyed watching and can relate as my boys are the exact same age . Emily
My twin boys went through the same thing. It was sleep regression & it lasted till they were 9 months old & I was doing it all on my own. I had to put them in different rooms & helped alittle but they weren’t sleeping throughout the night. Good luck. Prayers for y’all
The timing of your words is impeccable, have just had one of the hardest days to date as a new mama, 9 months in and wouldn’t change it for the world but man, I had underestimated how tough this gig really is! Tomorrow is a new day ❤️
Hey Rachelle! A friend of mine has twin girls and had sleep issues for a long time - in the end she separated them as you’re suggesting and it’s working a lot better - good luck! You’re doing such a great job
There's a sleep regression at 4 months which is a rough one and again at 6 months. I've only got 1 child so I know it was a lot easier for me but I got so stressed trying to get him to sleep every night that I just started leaving him up for as long as he wanted. He eventually learnt to put himself to sleep and got onto his own schedule. He's 16 months now and he's rarely ever fought me on bedtime. You have an absolutely beautiful family and your doing an amazing job 💕
We’ve been having a rough time over here. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, sad... and then just down right like a terrible mom. I feel like a terrible wife... and I feel like I’m the only one!!!! We admire you guys a lot... and to see this coming from y’all.... I’m drowning in tears. Thank you! 😘
From one twin mom to another, firstly you are doing amazing momma!! Hang in there it is so hard, my fraternal twin boys were number 3 & 4 I had 2 other kiddos to run around after. For nap times in the afternoon they were separated, I would lay them down every day same time and they would fall asleep on their own after how ever long it took them and would not wake the other if one woke up first. I had them from 4 months in their own room I would also lay them down and they would eventually fall asleep. 30 mins before naps or bed time is calming time, everything slows down for a while first then naps. Evening we would wind down the day, bath, massage, feed and straight into bed. At 4 months they were holding their bottles so maybe try to teach them that if they not doing it yet. From experience it was my main priority to teach them to hold their bottles because I wouldn't always be able to feed both. I know it's hard and I also know that having 3 two and under is crazy sometimes. I hope this helps. This 2 shall pass was my motto during the crazy times. Much love xx
My twins started sleeping throughout the night at 2 months old. I didn’t breast feed. I formula fed them and added cereal to their bottles every night (pediatrician recommended at 2 months) and I started a routine. Every night I have them a bath and lotion at 6:30. And they were eating their last bottle by 7:00. That bottle kept them full until about 5:30-6:00 am. I never skipped their bath or that bottle. they are 7 now and still have the same routine, bath at 6:30- dinner at 7 and bed directly after
I do not have twins but I do have 4 kids my youngest which was very difficult with the sleeping he was born with a heart condition as well i found with him having a bedtime routine was the key and doing a bath helped him understand its bedtime it would also relax him i would do bath and bottle and out he would go we had rough nights but that's enough to be expected i wish you luck
I had to put my boy/girl twins in separate rooms around 6 months old. They constantly woke each other up. Do what’s best for you and your family. I wanted so badly for my twins to room together but it just wasn’t what was best for us.
You go mamma!!
I’m a twin and I’ve always had my own room I think the same thing happened to my parents we were on opposite sleep schedules. We napped together but at night we were in our own rooms. Hope everything works out❤️
That end message made me cry. Been having a hard time with confidence and body issues. That really meant a lot. Thank you
Just remember that you are beautiful just the way you are girly. I’ve been having the same problem. Wake up every morning and tell yourself you are beautiful and perfectly made and through out the day remind yourself that you are. You will get through this. Know that you are loved and your not alone. ❤️
Le Z Me too. I don't recognize myself anymore. My once thin body has turned into a puff pastry after taking steroids for lupus the last five years. I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm with you and I support you!
Keep telling yourself that every inch of you is beautiful. Even though I don't know you, I am pretty sure that you are absolutely beautiful. We all have flaws. Embrace them. Those flaws are what makes each one of us unique and beautiful. Look in that mirror of yours and tell yourself you're beautiful! I think each of us as women are most beautiful when we just be ourselves. #YouAreSoBeautiful
Have a lot of confidence issues. One thing I do is listen to Pink. She has a lot of songs that are about being what you are and how good you are as you are. I think everyone is having issues this year. It is just a shitty year
Socrates Aristotle, Same here, with Chronic Lyme Disease and different medications I’m on. It’s frustrating. I definitely feel your pain.
costume idea that you guys didn’t ask for lmao
the boys- woody and buzz
emma- jessie
rachelle- bo peep
justin- either rex or ken or andy
this would be SO CUTE 😭🥰
Great recommendation! That would be adorable !!
Justin- Andy because all the other are his toys. I love the idea of it
Justins gonna have to be Rex or Andy lol.
or Ken and Barbie🥺
Honey!!! Separate them asap! Babies will get used to it before you do. It was my only saving grace with my twins. 1 night and they slept all night! Eventually I was able to have them in the same room after about 3 months.
Plus she’ll get to decorate their individual rooms.
@@Yogirliej4dee Nope, They only have a 3 bedroom. Their room, Emma's room and then the twins room.
I love how she ran right to Justin knowing he’d protect her from the lizard
When I saw it I thought Emma was calling Justin a lizard lol 😂
K Leon lol that was SO precious!! I had to watch that part twice bc it was SO cute!!...but the best part was
Justin:Go get it!
Emma: no MOMMY UP!! Lol
Thank you for showing the real and raw side of parenting. I promise it makes other feel sane and normal. I love seeing you grow and love on each other... And your kiddies are so darn cute. :) I have no advise, but I hope this season of no sleep passes sooner rather than later for you. Or even just the season of the boys letting Justin calm them... That would make everyone happy :) maybe drench Justin's shirts in your breast milk?? And perfumes :) lol
Good luck guys, we are all praying and sending love xx
Right !! that is something that I appreciate so much about Rachelle
it's crazy the amount of comfort i get watching these videos. it makes me feel like i'm apart of the family 🤍
Me too it helps alot
Same
Same. It’s just me and my mom atm, so I love watching these and preparing myself to be a parent one day hopefully!
wholesome thread alert!!!
Yeah me too I feel like I am apart of their family too xx
My advice is to sleep/nap train when you are ready. 3 Day sleep solution. I did it at 4 months and my twins still sleep in the same room. It was a hard 2 days but they still sleep through the night. 26 month old twins ♥️
My twins were born when I was 17 years old they are now 14 years old and honestly I don’t even know how we did it the first year, but you are the most amazing mom in the whole world and it will get better & easier. Make sure you are taking care of yourself too. 🥰
You're not alone. As a new mom of twin boys (12 weeks), sleep has been one of the most struggling things we've worked through. It's hard for me not to function without it so I took Taking Cara Babies as well and feel like I haven't been able to implement anything since they are so different and sleep next to each other. Hard for anyone else to understand the struggles, but know you're heard. Thank you for your kind words at the end, I needed that.
One day you will look back on this and wonder how you did it and be proud of yourself. You are a great Mum. I remember having 1 baby that never slept let alone 2 and a toddler. You are amazing parents xx
i love that how when rachelle was so upset 😭 that justin was like let me go get you a treat and make you feel better like that is a good husband
I have constantly struggled with sleep with my twins (now 13 months). It is so hard and I’m sending you a hug! I truthfully have no good advice except to give yourself (and the boys) grace. I had to stop listening to people talking about their babies sleeping through the night, the sleep training, the outings they could do because their schedule was always on point.. The fatigue is just never ending in the first 9 months. I hit an uphill swing at 9 and it’s even still a work in progress. Having two babies that need comforted at the same time is tough and you are Wonder Woman and will get through this!! Do WHATEVER you need to do.. separate them.. maintain an opposite schedule.. whatever they and you need.
That end message was something I really needed to hear. Thank you 💜
I have identical twin boys who are 4 now. We did not get on a consistent/in-sync nap schedule until they were about 8 months old. I was at home by myself on maternity leave for the first year, and I survived by going out somewhere every afternoon, so we all had a change of scenary, and they often caught a car nap. I regularly just packed them up and put them in the car and drove for an hour so they could get a bit of sleep and I could get a break by listening to music and singing along. Twin life the first year is just survival!
Definitely try separating them! My girls are 9 months old and are both very light sleepers. Once we put them in different rooms at night they stopped waking each other up. I felt like I was up every hour getting them back to sleep & now they only wake up once during the night. Naps were HARD until around 7 months. I struggled with nap time for so long, I’m with you! They were always awake at different times gave me good bonding time with each baby but I never had a moment to myself(also have a 4 year old). Now at 9 months they both take 2-2 hour naps a day at the same time. I think it came more with age, it definitely got easier to sleep train and now they go right down on schedule. It’s so hard and only other multiple parents truly understand how hard it is. You’re both doing amazing & it gets easier soon. 💕💕
I’m sorry your struggling. Being a twin mom is SO rewarding but sometimes it’s really hard! I’ve had days when all I can do is cry. What helped me with sleeping was I was very consistent with the times that they slept. It was every day at the same time, in the same place no matter what. Try doing naps in their swings but put the swings in a quiet place, maybe in their bedroom. Also they aren’t too young to sleep train. As long as they are 13lbs and over. I sleep trained my twins at 3 months old. I know the babywise programs seems outdated but it’s sooooo helpful. The tips and scheduling their routine was really helpful. Hang in there, you’re doing great !
Thank you for not making it look fake and a breeze to parent. I wish I could give you both a huge hug. Love y'all ❤️
I had my boys on opposite ends of the room and I just made sure I fed them a hefty before bed bottle or a little cereal after supper just to have them sleep deeper. I also used zero light and mild white noise. It was hard but now my boys are 4 and they do bedtimes easy and happily so hopefully you'll get there soon
I know that you have lots to do, but you should sleep in the daytime when the kids are sleeping. Justin can play with Emma. For you to be a good mom you must take care of yourself! Just try for a week, you will feel like a new person. 💖
Thank you for showing the raw and uncut of parenting. You got this momma. It's hard with multiple kids, sometimes us mommas need a break or walk away for a second, don't be ashamed to cry or walking away from the kids so you can catch your breath. Much love to you guys ❌⭕❌⭕
I loved how raw and honest this was. Thank you for sharing the more challenging parts of parenthood with us, and sending you both big hugs!
Twin mom here boy and girl 2.5 yrs down in east San Diego county.. we should connect. I know the struggle of 2 separate sleepers because my did that. I feel you, I did the drives the walk the bouncing.. best thing that worked for me Is put the good sleeper in a swing( like the ones you have) put some soft music one and let them go. Swaddle my girl give her a bottle and rock her on my recliner eventually we both would fall asleep. Reason I say bottle because I wanted/ needed dads help, so I thought if I start the bottle than I can give dad the bottle. And it worked. Sometimes she slept sometimes not. But I made sure she at least closed her eyes. Once my son woke up, I got up with her. I knew I need them on same schedule. Now both sleep in there own beds at same time nap and night. Just have so stay consistent.. love you guys, wish lots of luck!
Rachelle : tired, drained and crying.
Justin : "How about i go get you a treat?"
Me : awhhhh, what a lovely husband 🥰🥰
The way you two support each other is so beautiful. Such an inspiration for a healthy marriage
Hey Rachelle.
I’ve watched your every one of your videos since the video when you announced you were pregnant with Brynn.
I’m not a mother myself yet, however, I feel like watching you go through every high and low as a parent, prepares me just that little bit more for when I’ve got my own babies. I love that you show the reality of what parenthood is like- especially with newborns. I love that you also show how you and Justin communicate as a team, me and my partner have been working really hard on communication lately ( starting to work on our relationship in preparation for kiddies in a few years) and seeing how you guys handle the hard parts of parenthood, really makes me feel supported moving through my life.
I hope this makes sense- but yeah, thank you to you and your family for giving others the opportunity to learn and feel supported.
You’re a great mother, and Justin a great father- I hope things look up soon❤️
Bless
Rachel Englebarts from Brad and Rach is a mom of twins and a singleton. She’s a sleep fanatic and has the twin sleep down. Maybe reach out to her.
I was just thinking the same thing
Me too!
Yes I love her channel.
Yes I watch them all the time. I’m pretty sure Rach got this book and followed it and it was spot on. Best of luck.
I SO love Brad & Rach!! The very first time I watched them, and if I had no experience with kids, I would have lost my mind on how Rach is with the twins, because she has told them "you have legs, you can walk to get it" - I would have immediately thought "OMG - WHY talk to your kids like that?!" But since watching them for a while - I totally understand their way of parenting, and I just LOVE IT! They're teaching them to be able to do things for themselves SO YOUNG. They're just AMAZING!
You are doing so great! Twins can be so wonderful but also overwhelming and exhausting. When I was in university I nannied 2 twin boys starting when they were 4 months. The best thing for them was putting them in different rooms for bedtime and naps too. They would wake each other up or like your boys one would fall asleep and the other would fuss and need lots of interventions to get them to sleep. While sometimes they refused to sleep all together. If that happened I would try to keep them up until their next nap. If they finally fall asleep and the other one awakes from finishing their nap I would let them sleep for 30 minutes. Then push out the next nap for both or the bedtime whichever is next. Go with the flow mama you got this!!
My twin boys never wanted to sleep/eat at the same time but I knew for my sanity that I had to keep them on the same schedule. So I laid them down with their bottles (usually pumped and bottle fed them). They would fall asleep while eating and stayed on the same schedule that way. Then when they were old enough to sleep train them, I had to just let them cry it out. Didn’t take long for them to realize they either need to go to sleep or just lay there quietly. I was able to keep them on the same schedule this way. Good luck, every kiddo is different.
That message at the end made me cry. This year has been one disaster after another, and I’m trying so hard to recover: my husband’s grandma died in January while we were at Disney World so we couldn’t conceive and start a family, I turned 30, then March-July I was the coordinator for my elementary school and was pushed to my absolute limits with remote learning and impossible expectations, August I miscarried and had to leave my toxic job after 7 years and my incredible boss resigned, September I found out 3 close family and friends were pregnant, and had to find a new job.....which has turned out to be a job I’ll work 60 hours at each week. My severe depression has been debilitating. I’m just going to keep replaying the end of this video over and over for a few minutes because it’s what I need right now. Thank you.
No twins so no advice but props to you for a acknowledging that they are completely different babies and what works for one isn’t going to work for another and separating them. I hope it works for you and gives you some time back to yourself! Thank you for showing the hard stuff as well as the good, parenting is amazing but it is also really bloody hard and draining and you have 3 under 3, you are a star!
Your message at the end was really needed right now. Thank you ❤️ I have no experience with twins but I will pray for your family. You will get through this!! And let’s just acknowledge how supportive Justin is all the time. Love you guys ❤️🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻
Just a big hug. It is though, it is hard. You two are doing so good.
Oh girl, I cried with you in this one !! My identical Girls are now 13 and trust me I can’t get them out of bed !! BUT.......... Damm in those early days OMGosh I thought I was going to die.
I would drive them around, I wanted a Night Nanny, I would bake Muffins I’m the middle of the night just to keep my eyes open.
I also had a 7 & 4 year old to care for.
It was Hard !!! And I cried buckets......... I also fed them.
I knew a family that had triplets 9 months older than my girls and I one night broke down and cried to their Dad. I was tired I was overwhelmed I felt so incredibly lost.
He said
“Jill you need to sleep train them. If one cries leave them both, in the short term they will wake each other but after awhile it will not happen. When one cries the other will not stir”
I didn’t believe him
He also followed with “if I can handle 3 you WILL survive 2”.
I went home and I did as he said. I don’t believe in Cry it out ( or what ever it’s called).
But I did learn to settle reassure and leave them. You know how to do this, you did it with Emma. It’s the same just with 2. But don’t seperate them you will make double the work load for you. Do it together. It took me about a week. And oh dear I never looked back.
I have since gone on to have 2 more babies after them and let’s just say we sleep trained them early.
Sweetheart this stage is incredible and incredibly hard all at the same time.
As I said my twins are now 13 and I can say I honestly wished a lot of their baby years away. But you know what. You will get through it. And then before you and Justin know it they will be all grown up xoxox
Hugs and lots of love from a Twin Mumma to another xox
Justin is such a comforting Husband.... This phase will pass Rachelle.... Sending HUGS & PRAYERS of Peace & Comfort....
GBY ALL 🙏❤💙💖💙💙🤗✝️
My twins are 37 years old but we went to bottle at 5 or 6 months and my husband had 1 in a bedroom and I had the other one in a bedroom...worked for us..did this for about 2 months!
The message at the end. Hit me so hard and brought me to tears. I new mom to one baby. And I can’t even imagine twins. It had been so hard with pandemic and all. Thank you for that.
As for sleep tip. Sound machine! My lil one is a light sleeper. Opening the door wakes her up. With sound machine. She doesn’t notice and sleeps longer.
My twins are 3.5 years old now but they’ve slept together from 5 days old to the present day. They didn’t sleep unless they were touching each other. I know they’re separate humans but the schedule was very very important to keep because I have an older son that needed one on one time. Do what works for the boys.
My biggest advice is ignore the “leaps” stuff. Kids and adults have rough days, but adding the mental stress of them being in a “leap” seems to make the stress levels rise for mamas and daddies
Hang in there Rachelle, it gets easier. We have 2 year old triplets. I still remember the sleep struggles. I found once they could roll their sleeps in their crib got a lot better. Morning nap was usually spent in the swing I blasted the lullabies on the swings and eventually when they heard that music it cued them for sleep. I could sit on the couch and watch them or fold laundry. We’d try and keep our sleepy guy awake to match the girls naps as best we could. And when they were taking 2 and 3 naps a day the last one was always out on a walk. They would usually all fall asleep when I walked with them. I listened to an auto book and got some down time. We don’t have an older child so I know that must make it harder. For night time we didn’t wake them up to eat and our one girl started sleeping 6 hours stretches around 4 months so that made things easier. My husband and I also broke up the night. I slept 8-1am In our room and he slept in the babies room then we’d switch and he slept 2-7am. I’d pump when I first got up and would sleep until a baby woke up.
You guys are doing amazing! ❤️❤️❤️
Also we never separated them. They still sleep in the same room. But you need to do what works best for you guys.
We always kept the twins together and on the same schedule. It did teach them to learn to sleep thru each other’s noises for the most part but being in a leap adds extra challenges. You’ve sleep trained a baby before. You got this and trust what you think will be best. 🥰
Big hug to you Rachelle. I don't have twins, but my daughter was 23 months old when I had my son, so I know how hard & stressful it is to take of a newborn & a toddler, plus run a household, be a wife, etc. You are doing great! My kids are now 19 & 17. I am battling depression and anxiety right now because my Momma died almost 2 yrs ago. It will be 2 yrs Dec 12th. Y'alls videos are what I look forward to watching. Emma is such a sweet girl, the boys are adorable, & you and Justin are awesome. I love following y'all. It is always nice when we get to see your mom as well. I have been here since you found out you were pregnant with Brynn. I hope you have a good day. I hope tonight is a little better. Praying for y'all. 💕💕💕💕
When Justin just held you when you were overwhelmed reminded me of my husband. Always there to comfort me when I need it the most! You two are one of the few couples I look up to 💛
I seriously love you two! Your relationship is so beautiful! So much support for each other even when you're struggling and stressed out!
Thanks for this. Sometimes on here and social media it seems like everyone has it all under control and you feel so alone that you don’t. People need to be more open about the struggles
I know how you feel with the off schedule. I am a mom of 3 but also work in a daycare as an infant teacher with babies who have different schedules. With my own kids as babies i would keep them awake longer that usual just to get them on a consistent schedule. I had to hired out exactly how long their naps are to time when their naps need to be. My 2 older boys take 1 to 2 naps a day ages 2 and 3 and go to bed at 8:30 pm. They wake up at 7 am every morning. My baby girl who is almost 4 months old wakes up at 700 am as well, takes a nap after 2 to 3 hours of being awake, will nap throughout the day and goes to bed around 9 to 9:30 pm. I would honestly find a schedule that works best for your family but i hope my comment helps somehow
Bless you, Rachelle and Justin. I only had one baby, but I had no help. During his leaps, I literally sat on the couch topless and pumped whichever side he was not own. I was so overwhelmed. We made it though by God’s grace. Now, my baby is 18. 😭
I have three sons, all close, but not twins. They are now in their early 20's, and all I can say, is that you will get through it! I know it's hard, but it doesn't last long. Sleep patterns change. Thank goodness for that.
Oh Rachelle, I felt every word you said about the boys' sleep regression to my very core. I tell everyone that the absolute hardest time having twins was their 4 month sleep regression. I was back to work full time days and my husband worked full time nights, there was a couple week stretch where I was seeing every single hour of the day/night.
As far as advice, I'm not sure I have any. We talked multiple times about separating our twins but I kept coming back to something I read that said if you want them to share a room long term they need to get used to each other's sounds. Now my twins are 21 months and one is a climber so he's constantly climbing into his brother's crib and we're back to the do we or don't we separate them discussion. But...they do sleep through each other's noises now, even full on crying!
Just know that this will pass and it will get better, I promise 💙💙
The last part was awesome. Not gonna lie I when I watch TH-cam videos of other moms it always seems like everyone has it together and has patience. I have a one year old and a 5 year old. It’s not super hard but in the beginning it was hard and I definitely have days where my patience is no where to be found. I love when people show the real life of parenting it definitely isn’t all glitz and glamor ❤️ your doing a amazing job girl ! What I try to do is think of my children all grown up and how quick time is flying by! 🙏🏻
I am a twin momma as well. (Identical twin boys 2 years old) The toughest part was when they were still eating in the middle of the night and keeping them on the same schedule. We ended up keeping our boys in the same room and they eventually learned how to sleep through each others cries. Which was nice because now they sleep through everything. Once you get over the night time feeds and “sleep train” them. Then it is smoother sailing from there. We just had to transition our boys into toddler beds in the same room and now they sleep on the floor together because they refuse to sleep in there beds. 🤦🏼♀️ As much as it hurts to hear it, it is a phase momma and this too shall pass. Chin up!
It’s nice to know I am not alone. I didn’t think I was, but seeing the raw emotional bit at the end was refreshing. My husband and I only have our 4 month old son. However, he is a handful especially since we are new to parenthood. It’s been one hell of an adjustment. I also struggle a lot with my mental health and I try really hard to hold it together most days, but every couple days when lack of sleep and patience runs dry... I have my break down moments. Parenthood is 100% the best thing to ever happen to my husband and I, but it is also the HARDEST thing we have ever done. You are amazing parents and you have an amazing family! ❤️
Oh Rachelle. If you knew how I feel you!
I'm a mom of 5, and my 2 youngest are twins boy/girl who are just a few days apart from yours. We're exactly in your situation. It is SO hard. I don't think anyone who didn't live it can truly understand the struggle!
From my experience, 4 to 6 months is always really hard. They are a lot more awake and need to be entertained a lot but are not able to do it by themselves.
For the twins I can barely get them to sleep at the same time but I am trying to find my ways and sometimes I would rather have them sleep one after another than have them awake (and tired) at the same time. I take that time to carry the baby that's awake, to play with them and to rock them a little more. I really try to enjoy them since we can't when they're both awake.
We don't get much done during that time of course, but a mom I know, with all her wisdom once told me that the more you fight it the harder it will get. We can't do it all. It's hard because we try to do it all. We need to try to focus on our babies and time will pass by that we won't remember that we are so many grilled cheese (not for you and I, I know, I'm cutting dairy too) and that the house was a mess.
When nighttime comes, I take the most grumpy baby and rock him/her until they fall asleep really hard and then go put them to bed. If the other baby cries my husband takes care of him/her.
When I'm done, I do the same with the other one. Gives me the opportunity to cuddle each of my babies, to have the feeling I have some sort of end of the day enjoyment (I can watch YT videos ... this is what I did while watching yours).
I take a long bath while daddy rocks the babies before bedtime, right after supper, this gives me a little time to myself too!
I do swaddle them really hard still and helps with sleep.
I do cry here and there too from exhaustion, but remember that all of this is just a phase!
I am not a twin mama, but I am a mama of an 8.5m boy and I remember the 4/5m regression. It was the hardest time! I also did TCB and she was the greatest. My son, Wyatt did the best in the darkest room possible, swaddled with the Velcro swaddle, loud sound machine, and 69 degrees. Just remember this phase does not last forever, maybe a couple of weeks!
I think you’re smart to separate the boys. Trust your gut. You have the owlet, so I wouldn’t worry at all about putting him a different room. It will benefit everyone! You’re doing amazing. ❤️
My girls are about a month and a half older than your boys. They went through a huge sleep regression around the same time and they were horrible sleepers. One would constantly wake the other. We pushed through because we didn’t have their room ready for them. They learned to sleep through each other’s cries and other noises during that time. It’s so hard and exhausting but now they can sleep anywhere with any kind of noise. I’m not there to know exactly what you’re going through, but just know I’m praying for you. Hugs mama 💕
Oh Rachelle, I just want to give you a hug. When I'm struggling, my Mom has always reminded me, and still does to this day, that this too shall pass. I've always found comfort in that. Hugs to you!
triplet nanny over here! 65+ hours a week i was with the fmaily. all boys (yes three boys!) i started when they were 5.5 months but they were three months early so they were 2.5 months old developmentally. I was the one who slept trained them for naps. and i kept them all in the same room. keeping to the schedule was key. i tried my best never to let a triplet sleep not during nap time. naps were 8:30-10. 11:30-1. 2:30-4 and then a cat nap at 5. we did take away three naps until almsot 7 months. they were almost terrible if they were overtired. we used moms on call and LOVED the schedule they had. it worked perfect for multiples. many multiple moms i spoke with had a similar schedule
I know you are probably getting sooo much twins advice but I’ll put mine in anyway ☺️
I separated my b/g twins at 2 months old because one could definitely do longer stretches at night than the other. Once I separated them, they both started sleeping through the night. I put them in pack and plays right next to each other but now that they are almost four months old, they are waking each other up again. So we are now moving them across the room from each other and putting a sound machine in between them. Works like a charm!!
You're an amazing mom.if they are waking each other up then it makes perfect sense to separate them. You are making the right choice.
Hang in there! You are awesome parents. At 5 months you can sleep train them or 12 pounds. no more than1- 2 hours awake at a time. I think they are probably over stimulated. Expect at least a 2 hour nap each nap. Morning and afternoon. A shorter evening snooze. Put them down and walk out. I know that sounds awful but you will be so happy you did it. In the beginning go back touch them no talking 5, 10 , 15 , 20 then you don’t go back. Schedule feedings between sleep. I would separate them while sleep training. If they wake at night do the same thing. Not sure what their eating schedule is at night but they should only be eating one time a night. In a month you can wean that feeding. For your sanity they must be on the same schedule. I did triplets and a set of twins. Works like a charm. If you are consistent. Absolutely no changes in the way you do it. It can take no more than 2 weeks. I hope all goes well for you. You guys need some sleep.
From one struggling mama to another, you got this! ❤️
I have a four month old daughter and I'm struggling with just the one. Being a parent is so much more challenging than I anticipated. Thanks for sharing your experience and reminding me that we're all struggling from time to time.
Having twins is HARD! Especially when they’re young. The 4 month sleep regression hit us hard and it felt like one the babies was always awake and/or crying. We kept them in the same room and they learned to sleep through each other’s crying; so that’s a definite perk when one is up in the night. But you do what’s best for your family! I promise it gets better and easier! My girls are 18 months now and I sometimes wonder how we survived the newborn days.
I’m still in school but I want what you and Justin have. 🥺😍 y’all are so perfect for each other and y’all just go together like a puzzle piece.
Emma has been talking so much more clearly even since a couple vlogs ago! Let that be your look on the bright side during this time 💗
I don’t quite understand since I don’t have twins but I do have a daughter who’s 1 and still never wants to sleep and when she does, its a hassle to get her down. But you guys have got this, you’re so much stronger than you both know! I’m a single mom and I’m trying my best and I know you are too. Just know those babies will always know they’re loved by you two ❤️❤️
I feel this. I only have one, a 2 month old but she’s our first and sleep has been a struggle since she was born. She only calms down for me. And staying home because of covid doesn’t help anything. We are all in this together Mama! Don’t be afraid to ask for help! 💕
I think separation is the best thing, that way they both get into their pattern. Hugs!! The boys will be changing everything they do. Your parents intuitions will know what will work. Strength, patience and love to get through these time..🙏🙏
My two year old knows Emma’s voice and it’s the sweetest thing ever!
My twin boys still occasionally disturb each other at night at 2 years old (the cribs are set up virtually the same as Rueben and Ashers). I decided early on, against most things I had read, to treat my twins as individuals. They are two VERY different people and that can make having twins even harder. I know what you are going through and it’s tough- just hang in there because one day things will get easier and you will get more sleep 🤗
I love watching urs and Justin’s relationship
U both work so well together
I have twins fraternal twins girls.. the best advice I can give u is try your best to keep them on same schedule, mine was also 3 weeks early.. it does get easier but I would literally keep them in bouncer to sleep..or car seat and its ok to let them cry dont feel guilty.. as mine got older I sat outside there door one time for them to go down for a nap and I had to let them cry and it broke my heart but after I did that.. they literally did not give me one bit of a problem after that..of course they were a little bit older but u r one person and they have to learn getting used to your husband also.. its so hard but try your best .. your doing a wonderful job.. many blessings 🙏and yes its ok to separate them for now until they develop a better sleeping pattern
My notification read "why were separating..." I was so scared
beatrix haigh I thought/read the exact same thing at first
Hi Rachel, you need to remember that every child is it's own little personality. I only had singletons but we never ever had our children sleep in our bedroom. It made us sleep better and the children as well . I also sometimes had to leave one of the littles 'play' by herself. We had a box (playpen) and they just needed to enjoy themselves for a little while. That all said our youngest one is 16 and times have changed. You do you. And that is what you can do!
That message at the end is what I needed to read today. FTM with a 2 week old that literally screamed from 7pm last night untill 9am I've been feeling like im failing. After the loss of my grandmother last month, unplanned c-section, husband getting no leave time and a tounge tie thats making breastfeeding so difficult i just feel so down.
In a way it's actually nice that you showed how much of a struggle it can be with the boys. I just had my first in June and I'd watch your videos and wonder how you have it together all the time with 3 and I'm a mess with 1!
My son and your boys are like a couple days apart, i think. My son(Jru) was born 4/21... and the sleep or lack thereof is REAL! My hat is off to you having two littles to tend to. Im losing my mind with one. Thank you for your rawness and vulnerability. Though I KNOW this season is short & we will look back and laugh at these hard times, its still hard and it feels good being validated. Sending you sleepy dust and all the loves
Hang in there Rachelle, you’re a great mom. You’re a great dad, Justin. Y’all make a great team. I wish I had something to tell you to help. I have one daughter, who is grown now. I’ll pray for y’all. Love you guys! Sending hugs!
I applaud you for what you do. I only had one child and I could not handle it at all. I failed. I think you both are really loving and good parents.
Awe! Don’t get discouraged Batman! Before you know it they will all be so grown and you’ll miss these days.
I don’t know if you already do this but try a white noise while they’re sleeping. Especially for your light sleeper. It may take a while, but getting them used to sleeping with background noise might help so they don’t easily wake at the slightest of noise.
I agree with someone who said maybe a little cereal before bed and great idea on your part to separate them. You “mama” need rest, you are nursing which burns a lot of energy. It’s ok for you to rest, maybe Justin can bottle feed them while you get some well needed rest. Also, once you separate the boys will you try to let them cry a little to learn self soothing? When I watched my grand kiddies when they were little like your boys, my son would always say “Mom let them cry for 12 minutes, then you can get them if they don’t stop” 12 minutes felt long but 90% of the time they soothes themselves back to sleep. I will keep you all in my prayers. You guys are doing great! Your children are blessed to have you as their parents.
I put my fraternal boy twins in the same room from birth but shortly after it was evident they did not sleep the same. One would wake the other up. No matter how hard I tried they never slept the same or ate the same etc. Two very different babies. I have the spare room so it just made sense to create another space for the other twin. It worked out well! They slept a lot better after. Do what works for you guys...you’ll know the right thing to do. Good luck!
Hi Rachelle & Justin! I am a mom to 6, including a set of twins. This is the ONLY thing that worked for them. Whatever time you set for naps or bed, go back at least a half hour to 45 mins and play with them. Actual physical play - on the floor or bed, and wiggle their arms and legs , or hold their hands and see if they are ready to "stand up" on your lap... whatever it is, just get them moving. Put on music and "dance", or play with stimulating toys - jingle plastic keys, read brightly colored books, whatever it is they like to look at. The added stimulation, even for 15 minutes will tire them out. The remaining time before bed, establish a routine - bath time, maybe a rub down with lotion, pj's, and calmer, soothing music will get them in the "mood" to relax. Even though they are little, they still have energy to burn off. Reuben may have more energy than Asher, and sitting in a swing or seat still keeps him sedentary without an outlet. Once they get playtime 2-3 x a day, you'll see a change, and they will eventually understand (and appreciate!) bedtime. It is frustrating and sometimes overwhelming to figure twins out, but they are such a joy.
Also... if you have a pack and play, I would seriously recommend this (when you are ready). Let the boys (esp. Reuben) lay in it for a nap and VACUUM. I did this to every one of my kids, and they all learned to sleep through noise. It may be hard at first, but eventually they will sleep and ignore all the little bumps in the night. Love to you all!! :)
I was curious why you hadn't tried that sooner. I only have one baby but am the sole caregiver at night especially as my husband is horrible at napping and works all day too. It just made more sense for me to look after our son overnight since I could nap with him if he ended up constantly. Thankfully hes been a pretty good sleeper since I was pregnant lol. ANYWAYS, I think trying out separating them makes perfect sense and if you and Justin both get up with them anyways, maybe each take over a twin for a night? Not sure how it would work for you but if you had an especially hard night the day before maybe Justin could bottle feed one baby whenever they wake and need it while you handle the other. I appreciate that you want your own time (my son is 10 weeks and will not sleep away from me the last couple days), but you are doing such a terrific job Rachelle! Take a couple days to listen to your boys and what they're telling you. Maybe some nights one needs a later/earlier bedtime... same for naps! Mama knows best as does dad ❤ You got this!
My fraternal (boy/girl) twins are 5.5 months. I feel you. I have been going through the same thing since 4 months when the sleep regression hit. It was probably close to a month of exhausting cat naps that were not synced and three hour bedtimes. It has been better for about 2 weeks now. I feel you though. You have to do what you have to do. It will get better. Give it a bit more time. I am in the middle of sleep training have have noticed a difference. If you want them to share a room I would just separate them until they get through this hard patch then bring them back once you have sleep trained them... not sure if that is the best advice but might work.
We have almost two year old twin girls. Those first 8 months were brutal with learning their ways and managing our other two. It gets so much better and I actually miss it so much. You’re doing the best you can and that’s all that matters. 💙
I have fraternal boy/girl twins and had a nightmare leap 4 as well as 4 month sleep regression. I bought the Little Ones baby sleep program one tearful night of similar frustrating circumstances and have not looked back since. They really push wake windows, beyond what I was seeing when googling wake windows and it made a night/day difference for both of my babies.
I'm a nanny and the one thing I swear by is a sound machine. I'm not sure if you guys are using one already or not, but I highly suggest giving it a shot. It helps mimick the environment and noise inside the womb. Also could drown out some of the background noise. Which might help to keep Reuben asleep through Asher's wake ups💕
Struggling BIG TIME over here, just with an adult child instead of babies! Trying to heal my daughters broken ❤️
I think separate rooms is a very good idea you will see give it a try and don’t worry it will all work out you’re a wonderful mom❤️❤️🙏
You are super mom!! I had twins 21 years ago and I remember the struggle keeping them on the same schedule. Just know this will only be a short time. Pretty soon they will be running all over and into everything and this will be a distant memory. You are doing great!💙💙
Thank you for being so raw and real.
So sorry for you, I feel your pain. As a mother of twins, what worked for me was having them sleep in the same crib together, the comfort of one another helped them sleep together and longer considering they were women buddies doe 8 1/2months.
Twin mama here !!!
My boys are also just over 5 months born April 7 :) I discovered your channel while searching all things twins . I did some sleep training this week and results have been incredible . We have separated our boys for naps and nighttime for the time being . The one who wakes for feeds is still in our room also :) I have really enjoyed watching and can relate as my boys are the exact same age .
Emily
My twin boys went through the same thing. It was sleep regression & it lasted till they were 9 months old & I was doing it all on my own. I had to put them in different rooms & helped alittle but they weren’t sleeping throughout the night. Good luck. Prayers for y’all
The timing of your words is impeccable, have just had one of the hardest days to date as a new mama, 9 months in and wouldn’t change it for the world but man, I had underestimated how tough this gig really is! Tomorrow is a new day ❤️
Hey Rachelle! A friend of mine has twin girls and had sleep issues for a long time - in the end she separated them as you’re suggesting and it’s working a lot better - good luck! You’re doing such a great job
There's a sleep regression at 4 months which is a rough one and again at 6 months.
I've only got 1 child so I know it was a lot easier for me but I got so stressed trying to get him to sleep every night that I just started leaving him up for as long as he wanted. He eventually learnt to put himself to sleep and got onto his own schedule. He's 16 months now and he's rarely ever fought me on bedtime.
You have an absolutely beautiful family and your doing an amazing job 💕
We’ve been having a rough time over here. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, sad... and then just down right like a terrible mom. I feel like a terrible wife... and I feel like I’m the only one!!!! We admire you guys a lot... and to see this coming from y’all.... I’m drowning in tears. Thank you! 😘
From one twin mom to another, firstly you are doing amazing momma!! Hang in there it is so hard, my fraternal twin boys were number 3 & 4 I had 2 other kiddos to run around after. For nap times in the afternoon they were separated, I would lay them down every day same time and they would fall asleep on their own after how ever long it took them and would not wake the other if one woke up first. I had them from 4 months in their own room I would also lay them down and they would eventually fall asleep. 30 mins before naps or bed time is calming time, everything slows down for a while first then naps. Evening we would wind down the day, bath, massage, feed and straight into bed. At 4 months they were holding their bottles so maybe try to teach them that if they not doing it yet. From experience it was my main priority to teach them to hold their bottles because I wouldn't always be able to feed both. I know it's hard and I also know that having 3 two and under is crazy sometimes. I hope this helps. This 2 shall pass was my motto during the crazy times. Much love xx
My twins started sleeping throughout the night at 2 months old. I didn’t breast feed. I formula fed them and added cereal to their bottles every night (pediatrician recommended at 2 months) and I started a routine. Every night I have them a bath and lotion at 6:30. And they were eating their last bottle by 7:00. That bottle kept them full until about 5:30-6:00 am. I never skipped their bath or that bottle. they are 7 now and still have the same routine, bath at 6:30- dinner at 7 and bed directly after
I do not have twins but I do have 4 kids my youngest which was very difficult with the sleeping he was born with a heart condition as well i found with him having a bedtime routine was the key and doing a bath helped him understand its bedtime it would also relax him i would do bath and bottle and out he would go we had rough nights but that's enough to be expected i wish you luck