58yr old male, divorced at 46. Never remarried. All I need is a casual conversation at Whole Foods or a coffee shop every now and then and a couple social events during the year. For me, it's not about peace, its about how I allocate my mental energy. There is no way I will allocate my mental energy for a relationship. I'd rather use it for bingo night while on a solo cruise vacation😁
I saw my divorced younger sister struggling to bring up two kids. On the other hand there were divorced males struggling to keep up with alimentary payments. I thought of my own upbringing as a child and my parent’s marriage. My Dad working 6 days a week plus overtime in a job he hated. I said no, this is not the life I want. Marriage maybe, kids no.
Noone talks about the higher purpose of relationships. The dafault purpose is having a family. The other purpose people mention is 'spiritual growth' Long term committed relationsips based on good sex (anything else is platonic friendship) require a higher purpose, but what? Noone talks about this. I also have a problem with purpose for relationships being spiritual growth, as if anyone not in a relationships can only grow spiritually so much whuile those in relationships are spiritually superior. I know that with a higher purpose in a relationship, everything is possible, and all obstacles are temporary. Without purpose, the relationships disintegrates.
THIS! We are biologically animals and the "purpose" of life is the "continue the species" (survive, reproduce, and support our offspring who will replace us). Without a purpose of having children and building a stable family life as a couple for children to thrive and flourish, there is basically NO POINT in even entering into a relationship! Relationships involve compromise and sacrifice, and without a higher purpose, most people will either abstain from entering into Committed Relationships OR throw in the towel early the second any issues arise that create an inconvenience (or when boredom sets in and the novelty fades).
Nailed it. Ultimately, the purpose is really as simple as the one you outlined in your second sentence. They are meant for building out families and working as a foundation to help others grow within a stable environment. Modern society has confused this whole process and over-complicated it to the point where the basic foundations of the relationship no longer serve a purpose, since a lot of people no longer want the responsibility of raising a family (can't blame) them, but once that is gone, the relationship literally serves no purpose other than self-gratification.
Hi Schahrzad - i wonder how your parents came up with your name? Is it a reference to Scheherazade? - THANK YOU for posting cool videos- you look beautiful ! As for the dysfunctions today- having grown up in the turbulence and soul searching 70s and 80s- for me having been called honey, darlin' or babe by waitresses, teachers, etc. it was a different time- very tolerant- at work I've been called "Old School' and male chauvinist too, well it is causing defensiveness and no longer spontaneous- - but thank you for mentioning the decline of communities - it reminded me of Steve Bannon in a rolling stone Interview saying he doesn't believe in society- a big lack of belonging or unity is NOW an issue because we are all scrolling online - our attention is on a screen - and the passivity/ dopamine from gaming a very interesting problem among young men- as you mentioned it in your other video based on Dr. Glauser- so please keep up the thought-provoking content- your understanding and insights are valued!
I grew in the 70,s and 80,s i think back then its was more about love and finding a great partner its a whole different world now but we just have to adapt and hope to find that someone out there i have not given completely up yet..and great video and topic as always🙂
58yr old male, divorced at 46. Never remarried. All I need is a casual conversation at Whole Foods or a coffee shop every now and then and a couple social events during the year. For me, it's not about peace, its about how I allocate my mental energy. There is no way I will allocate my mental energy for a relationship. I'd rather use it for bingo night while on a solo cruise vacation😁
I saw my divorced younger sister struggling to bring up two kids. On the other hand there were divorced males struggling to keep up with alimentary payments.
I thought of my own upbringing as a child and my parent’s marriage. My Dad working 6 days a week plus overtime in a job he hated. I said no, this is not the life I want.
Marriage maybe, kids no.
Correction: ALIMONY Payments- sorry to be pedantic- give your life purpose based on your own values
Noone talks about the higher purpose of relationships. The dafault purpose is having a family. The other purpose people mention is 'spiritual growth' Long term committed relationsips based on good sex
(anything else is platonic friendship) require a higher purpose, but what? Noone talks about this. I also have a problem with purpose for relationships being spiritual growth, as if anyone not in a relationships can only grow spiritually so much whuile those in relationships are spiritually superior. I know that with a higher purpose in a relationship, everything is possible, and all obstacles are temporary. Without purpose, the relationships disintegrates.
THIS! We are biologically animals and the "purpose" of life is the "continue the species" (survive, reproduce, and support our offspring who will replace us). Without a purpose of having children and building a stable family life as a couple for children to thrive and flourish, there is basically NO POINT in even entering into a relationship! Relationships involve compromise and sacrifice, and without a higher purpose, most people will either abstain from entering into Committed Relationships OR throw in the towel early the second any issues arise that create an inconvenience (or when boredom sets in and the novelty fades).
Nailed it. Ultimately, the purpose is really as simple as the one you outlined in your second sentence. They are meant for building out families and working as a foundation to help others grow within a stable environment. Modern society has confused this whole process and over-complicated it to the point where the basic foundations of the relationship no longer serve a purpose, since a lot of people no longer want the responsibility of raising a family (can't blame) them, but once that is gone, the relationship literally serves no purpose other than self-gratification.
Hi Schahrzad - i wonder how your parents came up with your name? Is it a reference to Scheherazade? - THANK YOU for posting cool videos- you look beautiful ! As for the dysfunctions today- having grown up in the turbulence and soul searching 70s and 80s- for me having been called honey, darlin' or babe by waitresses, teachers, etc. it was a different time- very tolerant- at work I've been called "Old School' and male chauvinist too, well it is causing defensiveness and no longer spontaneous- - but thank you for mentioning the decline of communities - it reminded me of Steve Bannon in a rolling stone Interview saying he doesn't believe in society- a big lack of belonging or unity is NOW an issue because we are all scrolling online - our attention is on a screen - and the passivity/ dopamine from gaming a very interesting problem among young men- as you mentioned it in your other video based on Dr. Glauser- so please keep up the thought-provoking content- your understanding and insights are valued!
The problem is the 19th amendment, birth control and cellphones. Pick one, take it away, and most problems would go away.
I grew in the 70,s and 80,s i think back then its was more about love and finding a great partner its a whole different world now but we just have to adapt and hope to find that someone out there i have not given completely up yet..and great video and topic as always🙂
Yes that's how I felt too. A long marriage was a status symbol.