My obsession with studying left me clueless, and let me explain why
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 มิ.ย. 2024
- "The academic trap that left me clueless" - let me explain 🧐
0:00 | Hey guys!
1:59 | My academic background and current situation
4:46 | The academic trap
9:27 | Why I feel ‘clueless’
15:04 | What am I doing about it now?
18:23 | Please share your thoughts below!
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You're never gonna know if you'd enjoy those careers until you try. I graduated top of my class in law, got a masters with distinction, tutored law students and loved it, did a 2 year internship at a law firm and absolutely hated it. Am now working in corporate finance, and it's so draining and boring. Didn't want to do a PhD in law so now I'm doing a PGCE at 26 to become a teacher. It's okay to feel lost and switch things up in your 20s. 🙂
Thank you for sharing this ... honestly, it really made me feel so close to home just by reading this 💚
Same here just without the law degrees but going into teaching as well
It reminds me so much of a friend of mine, he got a degree and a very good job as a designer, he actually enjoyed the field but at some point he realised he wanted his job to be completely different (he still enjoys designing furniture for fun). It's been a few years now, he's the happiest elementary school teacher I know, bless him 😂 ❤
This comment is so so encouraging! I am in my 20s now and I just graduated from a top uni studying arts and design. However my strength is always academic study like Holly, but I chose art half way and now I feel so lost because I don't know what I want and what to do in the future. Being raised in a traditional family background is really hard for me to explain everything to my family. feel suuuuper stressed now and now I feel much more released reading this comment and Holly's video. Good job and wish u all the best in teaching!!
Holly! I have been waiting for this video for years haha - I was probably your age now when I started watching your channel back in 2018. I vividly remember thinking omg this girl is me when I was at uni. So focussed and dedicated at the cost of everything else in my life. And for six year,s I have watched you slowly stake steps out of that world and into the place you are in today, I can't tell you how excited I am for you to get here!! In my mid twenties I decided to 'stop caring' so much. I ate the foods that made me happy, went out and drank too much with friends, made reckless, spontaneous choices and truly started living. My best advice is to let go, stop worrying about what your family thinks, what your subscribers want and enjoy these years where you have the freedom to be 'selfish'. I'm still approaching life this same way now into my thirties and having an absolute ball, while also being a boss bitch in my career. You CAN have it all :) Good luck in this next chapter!
Im 30 now and still don't feel like an adult... and the older I become the more I think nobody ever feels like that.
As a child you think adults always know what to do... but when you get older you realise that they are just guessing as good as they can😅
I wish I could be a student forever... it is much more fun than working. If I would get paid to be a student like a real job, I would do it
It’s really interesting to hear you talking about attachment to being a student and how so much of that I wrapped up in perfectionism. I definitely relate to that- it’s something I’ve been actively trying to leave behind in the last couple of years. In doing so I realised how much my love of learning had been overpowered by a desire for perfection and external validation, and one of the best things about leaving it behind is getting my true love for learning back. Because it was never about a particular subject for me, not really. It was a mindset I’ve always had, this endless curiosity about the world and my place in it.
And I’ve loved immersing myself in that kind of learning since- in the last 3 months I’ve 100% learnt more about the world than in my last 3 years at uni (free Palestine🇵🇸) and this time has shown my the power of learning and facing what we don’t know and where we fall short.
I think it’s so important that when we’re in a personal transformation journey that we think about the collective too- how can my individual healing contribute to collective liberation? What truly are my values?
Of course career is a part of that and I wish you all the best in figuring this out- I guess my point maybe is, as hard at is is, don’t fear what you don’t know, what student life and perfectionism and resulting individualism shelters you from- embrace it!!! Curiosity will take you so far, learning is lifelong ❤️
Loved the free palestine part❤
I remember you thinking about science communication a few years ago. Maybe you want revisit that thought? Writing articles online or for science magazines. You are so good at explaining concepts. Whatever it's going to be, you have all the time in the world and the support of your family to figure something out. I hope you find your passion!
i honestly love this, getting to follow your journey, its about you Holly, we enjoy just following along, so choose you, do you, live for you and trust me, we'll always be around, just prioritize yourself first💚
Hey Holly, it's so admirable how you share these big thoughts and revelations about your life! Sometimes it's hard to acknowledge them for yourself even, let alone share them with anybody. Also I could absolutely relate - one of the reasons I chose to study law was that it took longer than most courses at uni - purely because I wanted to stay student for as long as possible. In the end I did not really regret it but I sometimes wished to have chosen another path that had more drive towards a specific career or something. Now I have my degree and still don't really know what to do with it. A lot of my friend finished their bachelor degree two years ago already and are working in their graduate jobs and I'm still here floating about wondering where I will end up. It's so relieving to read the comments about other people experiencing similar things. Thank you for sharing your experience! I'm really excited for this new phase in your life! Lots of love xx
I had a friend in school in Germany and she would outperform everyone academically. She also struggled finding her passion after finishing uni.
In the end she decided to work for a company creating teaching materials for all sorts of schools (GCSEs, A-Levels, college, uni, study guidance etc). She is now basically working for a publisher, works relatively flexibly from anywhere she likes...she just need to be prepared with possible content for content meetings with others which take place online.
Maybe this could be something you might enjoy as well. 🤔
You are literally describing me! This is exactly like me, I was obsessed with studying and it does leave you so unsure, thank you for raising this, as it’s so important! I want to do my PhD eventually but it’s so hard to know! xx
Hey Holly, appreciate this post so much x i can relate to the whole study obsession and sense of cluelessness/lost so so much. 'What should i do in life' is such a huge question that most people don't have an answer to. I know that as long as I dwell in this no answer question, it's going to just stop me from experiencing life here-and-now as I would be questioning/doubting about everything I do and feeling dissatisfied and lost all over again.
Nowadays I learn to set my intention for the day/week/month ahead, and focus on experiencing and exploring life here-and-now. e.g. for the next 24 hour I am going to be the best xx; for the next 7 days I am going to live my life fullest as a xx. While the big question does come by every now and then especially when things get tough, I remind myself the decision I've made for myself for this period of time and focus my attention back on what I'm doing. The sense of cluelessness/lost is still there, but now I'm learning to make room for those feelings and do what's important now, here-and-now; letting life unfold by itself.
Still learning... and want to tell you that you're not alone. Big hugs xx
I fully understand you. Even now for me, I find it hard to do things that I am passionate at wanting to try such as creating art. I find it hard to start an art piece because of perfectionism, or are missing the education system where it would give me an instruction or a grade to look forward to. School is like my validation, when something I have finished is handed in to be validated. Thus, it makes me want to try even harder so that it could validate myself that I deserve a spot in this society. School was a way for me to be validated. And now that I’m not in school, I’m having so much trouble with finding that validation within myself because all I know is school, and all I know is getting a grade for the work I did, and nothing else. It’s like, it’s making me want to go to back to school, when most of the time I feel like crap, and finding the education system to be very flawed.
Hi Holly, wow thanks I related so much to what you were saying, not rn but in retrospect, went straight to uni after finishing on top of my school year, and I just kinda followed the flow because I liked studying. Precisely after going to a career info event I decided to quit law even though some years in and to do Psychotherapy cause I could see myself doing various careers inside that. Still, super grateful for every bit of education I received and experience I gained. I think at some point, once you gain a more critical, broader view of the world around you and question up to the education system itself, it just flips from being its own purpose to providing you with knowledge about what you want to do. Maybe this inspires you or someone struggling with the same that a few years down the line, I feel super certain and cant wait to start working. But I think whats important to note is that what helped me most is shifting the focus away a bit from just studying for a while and figuring out what my values are, and that career and education is not the most important thing in the world. Just waitressing for a while and talking to many many people about their life paths I found that out 💫
This really resonates! Especially the part about being told ‘you’re smart, you can be a lawyer, doctor or banker’ - I never knew to look further and that there were so many other options beyond the traditional, prestigious paths. I took that conventional advice and did a pre-med degree, then moved onto a second undergrad in maths (purely because I loved it) and ended up working in investment banking (simultaneously the best and worst experience). Now I’m a consultant and currently planning a 2 year corporate gap year to go hiking around the world. It’s so fantastic to see you normalising having a non-linear path. I’m coming to realise that all experiences in life are learning opportunities, no one path is ‘right’, and ultimately all I need to solve for is happiness and fulfilment and that that will look different at various points in time. I’ve been here since the very early Cambridge days and look forward to seeing where life takes you next. All the best!
Kinda been experiencing the same "missing piece" feeling the last couple of months. I'm switching degrees and I'm not sure if the new one is gonna fulfill me completely.
I think the idea of being a student and enjoying the act of learning is really valuable and something that can be cultivated throughout your lifetime, be it a language, a skill, etc. You don't need to give it up completely, but can take it as a "hobby" instead. There's always a way to monetise it later on if that's what you want.
Also I'm gonna take this chance to tell you that your focus and drive are terribly outstanding. I've always looked up to you during your study vlogs. Truly inspiring. So thank you for that! :)
I am going through the exactly same thing right now!! I'm at my last year at uni and have to decide my path... but the feeling is exactly that "something is missing and I have no idea what it is"
I did 5 years of an engineering degree burnt out real fast as I was doing nothing but study. Then fell accidentally pregnant with my now 2 year old son and I felt so lost for the last year as I had to go back to work but in any job I could find rather than the envisioned Engineer job. I’m now 25 and finally enrolled back into uni to finish what I started. I think being lost in your 20s is not talked about more. Especially not in the academic space
i feel you! i just love learning too and what a shame that i can't be a full time learner or thinker...
If I were you, I would just dive in. You can list 5 possible options and pick one of them (even if you have to roll the dice to decide). After that decide to stick with the choice for one year. After one year, you can gain so much clarity. You can either (1) end up loving the career in which case you can continue to advance it or (2) absolutely hate it. If you end up absolutely hating it, then great. You gained experience, the world looks a bit different after that year and you can opt for something else. Another option is you end up liking/hating certain parts of the chosen career and after one year you can adjust accordingly - for example new employer but the same field, getting rid of certain aspect of the job etc. If you don’t try, you will never know. I learned that I love my career field only after I started working in it.
Also I really admire you for sharing these things with us, your videos are very relatable and have helped me multiple times💛
Love your advice! Thanks
I finished a Masters in 2022 and have since been in and out of fixed-term jobs and unemployment. Now that I've finished my studies and am unsuccessful in finding a job, I'm just like '...now what?' 😅
Have you ever thought about developing your career in some areas connected with your biology interests? Science centers, labs, tech/ science startups (bioinformatics?)?
Holly, I believe your calling is teaching, probably at university.
Same here hey
Teaching positions at uni are difficult to get and typically you need to do research as well.
Idk why but I really see her being a doctor, a pathologist probably
Definitely resonate with the doing a degree and a masters because you enjoy the subject! I keep trying to convince myself that the career I’m in now is because of those “transferable skills” I learned in my degrees and it probably helped towards that for sure. But it is so true that you don’t know what career you want until you try. People switch up their careers at any age so definitely don’t feel pressured to figure it all out in your 20s!
Holly! Don't worry ❤ you will get through it❤I love you 💕
I think there's a major rite of passage that doesn't get written about very much, which marks the transition from studenthood to the real world. I had a job lined up and enjoyed it. But I remember for a while a slightly bleak feeling of "is this it?". Maybe it it took some time to sink in that from here on life was just going to be work, work, work. As a student, I was on the receiving end of support and encouragement. Now it hit home to me that at the end of the day, no one cared. I was on my own.
But I'd say, just hang in there. These times pass, and alternative forms of purpose take hold.
As a biologist, you'll know also that this is the prime time of year for negative thoughts. The days will get longer. Seasons change. Good luck!
When i watches ur last video I almost commented on this being the reason why - i had the same exact issue after doing Uni after h.s., summer and wintermester classes, numerous PEX classes, color guard, then did grad school right after and got my MPH. Afterwards I essentially hit a huge low because I also had no life or relevant work experience. I'm only 28 (got my MPH in 2019 at 23.5 yrs old). I'm not necessarily working in my degree specialization-social & behavioral health-but am still figuring out what career path i actually want tbh. It's definitely a struggle. I also loved being a student and thought about being an advisor 😂 ive been watching you since 2019 as well and have yet to date/am asexual, and weightlift. We have very similar personalities and struggles so just know that many of us silently watching you are right there with you. I dont have the answers yet either.
- Sending clarity, love, n lots of self-compassion
You love structured studying. You love making vlogs. Study-tuber vlogs are really, really helpful and inspiring beyond just the enjoyment of watching them - they actually make a difference to people's lives, even going into their futures, so it's very worthy content to make. Your audience (I'm assuming) is largely based on study-related vlogs, so they'd probably like more. I'm wondering if it might actually not be the daftest idea in the world to do another degree and vlog about it for three years - or a part time one for 6 years if the work load was too great with content creation on top of it... I mean... if the TH-cam income from that could fund the course fees and living costs, I don't see why that shouldn't be a viable option to consider if it would make you happy and help countless others around the globe.
PS - anti fog wipes apparently work on camera lenses as well as glasses...
sorry but why would she do a degree, for the sake of her channel? she would be left in the same position once the degree ends. putting off and avoiding a problem doesn't make it go away
@@maneskinnnnn7190 because the channel is the career.
but has said although she has youtube as her job she still feels as though there is something missing, so it would not solve her problems, and she cant keep doing degrees for ever @@PlanetImo
I am 24 now and facing the same situation as you. I don't know what I like to do, so I can't choose a certain career to start with. This video relieves some of my anxiety, hope we all find the path one day❤
Denying reality always relieves stress
Hi Holly, really enjoyed your video! It's totally understandable that you're seeking a new path in life and you want to figure it out yourself before sharing. However, if you decided on what to do, sharing your thought process on deciding would be super helpful for those of us in similar situations. If you can, let us in on any ideas you considered but didn't pursue and why. Thanks a bunch for sharing!
Have you thought about trying the nhs scientist training program to be a clinical scientist? It mixes uni with paid training/placements in hospitals and would probably give you that academic challenge along with easing you into an ‘everyday’ job/career lifestyle with the work side of it
This is a great idea!
Well, I totally understand where you are coming from, I'm not as studious but passion wise I completely get ya! You are Hella awesome but as an observer of your TH-cam trajectory...I'd say, go for a specialized masters in business for consultation related jobs in fields that relate to your already acquired masters around biology...just a suggestion!! The best part about being obsessed with learning is that you'll always adapt, and lowkey I envy my younger self who was like that!!! My present self is much slower and mentally all over the place...would totally go for masters myself once I'm mentally healthy! Thanks for everything you share, love from another clueless learner to you Holly 👍☺💙
I understand how u feel about the traditional careers but for history. I only got told about being a history teacher or history lecturer at a university. Presently I'm going back and forward between being a history teacher or archivist or historical reactor
history degree holders can work in policy making and heritage conservation idk if that's an interest in any way or if you want to stick strictly to history work
@ila9063 thanks to ur comment but I'm staying in history work
I am also attached to being a student. Would you consider doing a PHD? Start a new hobby? I have ADHD so I really enjoy education because I like constantly learning and I struggle to settle. I don’t know what comes next but that suits me.
Holly, I am sure that there are careers out there which would be of great interest to you and suited for the type of background which you have. Keep on trying!
why have you got music playing whilst you are talking?
Of course, Holly. I feel related.
I did two Bachelor's degree, and I gratuated two years ago. I went straight to get a job and now, when I am 27, I am applying for my Master's abroad. For the first time, doing something that I wanted to when I finished my first Bachelor's. 6 six have past since then, and I am struggling with the anxiety and the urge to find a new path for career.
Yes, I want to go back to study, yes I want to risk. Yes, I want to experiment my life far away from home.
Yes, I have felt lost and clueless.
Its so weird not to have as Many videos as usual haha but you're right its a good routine for you and it may have been be a bit much...but we miss you !!
I’m now in my 3rd year of university (law school) and I really enjoy studying and dedicating a lot of time and effort to it. But I have no idea what job I want to have or do I even want to work in this field. Like I just want to learn for the sake of learning I guess. And even now I feel frustrated because of that and I’m sure in a few years I’ll be in the same position as you are now. Like why can’t I just be normal 😅😢
What about if you keep dancing? That happens to me as well :) find an adult academy dance or a job as a dance teacher :) 😊or professional dance cuz with this path it’s hard to feel enty
You are so wise Holly 💗❤️
I'm definitely the type that needs deadlines and check lists as well. Plus I never had a career in mind since not getting into vet school, so I've been chopping and changing jobs as I see fit. You don't have to have 'a job for life' (I hate that term!), it's more important to try different things until something clicks
Hollyyy !!!! ❤️😭 love all yr videos sooooo so much 🤍😍 your subscriber from Malaysia !!💓
I expected this video
This aura of perfection never lasts or lasts with a price
oop the title really woa. thanks
Moving out and being financially independent is probably going to be part of that puzzle piece!
Your experience is very similar to mine. Thanks for sharing)
I did my master degree cuz i didn't know what i want to do. I tried to work as an elementary teacher but i wasn't happy...i am 30 and i never sit in a job more than a year. I still don't know what to do ...but i try to move and make my home bakery. I know one day i'll figure it all. But enjoy your life...although its hard esp when u see everyone else seems like know what they want in life
Have you looked into self education? Basically informal studying where you control what you learn and hold yourself accountable. Obviously there's no grades or degree at the end of the road but you already have those.
You say you love biology but I wonder if it's a love for learning about biology rather than biology itself. What I mean to say is that you found the subject interesting enough but the validation of academic success gave you a feeling of accomplishment and moving forward in life. Obviously only you know the answer to this. And I'm not criticising as I love learning, student life, and medical sciences myself.
In my experience, you cannot predict what job you would enjoy working. You need to try it for yourself. You're in a good position to have the freedom to explore as you live at home so I would definitely encourage it. There's a lot of work in public health promotion, for example, that your skills would be well suited to.
can u tell more of careers in science degreees
pls :0
There are so many wonderful jobs in science that are very dynamic. Why not look at moving into a start up as a science advisor. Or Work in clinical trials which would really suit your organisational schools. I don’t agree at all that you should be a university teacher. I think you would find academia too toxic
*organisational skills
Online tutoring and vlogging will not ultimately be mentally stimulating
I have also heard that academics can be very toxic and somewhat suffocating since your career is dependent on grants and politics. Not sure if she would like that. I always thought she’s go into some sort of a science communicator role
But having such a natural interest in cancer biology and immunology, I would think she can really find a purpose and make a contribution in that field. There are a lot of remote job opportunities now
Clinical trials would be a good one to look at
I think the first step to find purpose on life can be to become financially independent to get out of the comfort house. Staying with parents' keeps us away from reality of hardships
How about being a uni lecturer, I know the pay,s not amazing but it must be a nice environment to work in and you,d never have to leave the student thing
Dear Holly,
You can be proud of what you have achieved. There is so many ways in which you can make use of your education. I am sure you will find something that suits you. Try checking, if your Universities let you have career consulting even as an alumni. For a few ideas that are science-adjacent:
Science communications officer
Scientific advisor (although you might need a PhD for that)
Project manager at companies (you would not necessarily need to be in the lab yourself).
I don't know much about these paths, I work in research myself. This absolutely allows the life long learning aspect, but I understand that experimental research is not for everyone, particularly, if you are looking for something more stable.
Good luck!
You could volunteer for community engagement.
❤
the best at Cambridge is more or less perfect
13:51 „being a student
you have this one goal: taking this exam and getting a grade at the end of it. You don’t really have any other worries at the time“…
You really are clueless. And privileged.
Most of the people have to work alongside their university time at least part time, otherwise the would not have food on the table and money for the university itself.
Imagine this: studying hard just like you did all day long and after that working hard in the evening/night just to afford the cost of living. 4 hours of sleep. Repeat.
Don't you blame your parents sometimes ? Like i feel 100% the same way and like you i lived and still live with my parents for like the most time of my life a'd i do think sometimes like why didn't they tell me to take it a bit easier on the studies ? Why didn't they tell me to go on and try a solo trip or try some new activies outdoors.. why didn't they force me to "LIVE" a bit more and make more mistakes and learn mooore experiences in the ACTUAL life.... ? It's just ideas that come to my mind of course i love my parents so much but i think if i were to have kids then this is probably what i would do if i see that they're obssessed with studies and missing out (a bit) on life while they're still so much young and still can make as much mistakes as they want...
Since you know you like biology you could always look up careers in biology and compre the money that they make. I am sure you’ll find something
Be a professor
🇵🇸🍉
Free Palestine 🇵🇸
I totally relate to just loving learning and not thinking of what career that leads to. I first went to study biology because I loved it at school. It ended up not being for me so I completely changed and studied communication all through Masters. But it was very hard for me to think past that. I graduated 1,5 years ago and I still have this problem. I dream of getting back to studying ahaha🫠
holly what about a job in wildlife conservation such as marine biology which allows you to travel the world while you work and help the planet.