Unmasking the Double Life of Narcissistic Abusers
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.ย. 2024
- Discover the heartbreaking truth about abusive relationships in this eye-opening video. Join Dr. David Clarke as he delves into the painful reality faced by countless women who yearn for love and intimacy in their marriages. Learn why abusers often lead double lives, and why it's crucial to break the cycle of abuse. Don't miss out on this powerful message and don't forget to subscribe for more insightful content!
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He’s telling MY story! Married 24yrs this March…. It’s time to ESCAPE 💯
Enough is enough helped me tremendously I filed for divorce thankfully! No intimacy in years!!! Sex (which was not often) was like rape. Not loving at all.
Sex was like rape for me! It was so unwanted and I only permitted it, so he wouldn’t me worse!
@@watchmeheal1176 I totally understand! So sad!
Same here hun, I feel nasty after sex because doing with someone who treated me so bad. I feel now I never want a man. Even if I get one later that I love and he love's me the sex will be the problem between us.
@@lifeasis72 I understand totally! It’s sad, but true
He masks his abuse via lack of intent. He "didn't mean it that way." I've been gaslit enough to fuel the power grid. Working in silence for now
Was married to my covert narc for 33+ years.
For many years I was too scared and intimidated to tell people what the narc was actually like. There was an unspoken rule that I wasn't allowed to talk badly/tell the truth about the narc or the narc's family.
The narc has served in the church for many years and has people fooled what a wonderful person they are.
Same!
This situation is just sad in the extreme...but Dr Clarke is spot on! This is also similar to my journey, unfortunately. But God has set me SO SO free🙌🏻
I married a demon wearing a man-skin but when I called on Jesus to deliver me He opened my eyes and ears to the people around me who walked His path in life and they helped me to literally escape the hellcage in which the beast had me trapped. Halleluia God is with me always in all ways.
He was the only one giving me attention bad and good, but attention none the less. I can't go back because I know he will hurt me badly. I miss the man I dreamed he could've been.
Yes he will make you feel like a priority first till you make him your world and will just ruin your life. What he did to me. Purely evil man.
It's pure hell being with and around or near them!
This is my husband.
To a T. Church thinks I abandoned him.
I HAD to get out to save my sanity and my life.
I filed and got away. He’s trying to drag it out as much as possible just to be difficult. I am so much happier, healthier and stress free now.
Same
He is going to insult you, disrespect you and belittled you. He will make you feel it's your fault if you will get hurt of the things he'll say. He is going to call me liar that can't admit what he'd said hurt me. Yes it's a cycle, always making me feel it's wrong to feel bad of the things he is saying. Can't admit what he said might hurt me. He is miserable and giving me that life. Very abusive. Even told me that I'm the one that is in fault. Everything in this video is right. He don't even want me to talk more deeper of how the way I feel. Making me feel miserable, He is turturing me inside. He can be nice. He even define me what is consistency. Wihrou even thinking he is not consistent. He is very selfish. He enjoys seeing me crying and hurt. He believes only that I should meet his needs. He is an evil man. I need to always smile and be happy or else it will piss him off. I can't feel sad or be sad. I can't unlike what he is going to say or do. Or he'll say here we go again drama. This kind of creatures should disappear in the universe. They're heartless and don't care what are you going to feel. Very self centered. And will always going to blame you about everything. He don't care about you. He care about himself and how he will look in the eyes of the people around him. Acting like an hero. Toxic,narc and evil.
about not being married yet in a narc man and you are in a relationship is that once he unmasked himself even my life been so miserable because of his disrespect,bullies me and my family. Disrespect me everytime I brought up the things that he made me feel, mean and etc. I even saw him smirk and laugh while I was crying and explaining how he made me feel. And told me that he was just telling the truth about me and I shouldn't feel sad or upset because everything he said is right. And blaming me that it made him feel not good because how I feel. The verbal abuse from him making me feel sick. Everytime he is going to tell me he loves me after makes my body feels so weak. A kind of emotion that I am feeling everytime he is going to tell me he cares and loves me more than anyone could. That he is just the only one who loves me after he laugh while I'm crying and even mimic how the way I say the words because I'm crying. It's horrific. And I can't even imagine this kind of man exist. He is heartless more than evil. But portraying himself to everyone as a great man, helpful,nice and responsible. Always helping everybody around.to help and to do them a favor. Saying nice words to them. But when it comes to me. He is evil. More than evil. I learned everything that he is doing the same to his exes. Yes he's been in many relationships. And the damaged they caused him is horrible. I learned that it's his pattern. When he already got busted about how the way he is being a narc he is going to find a new woman. A reserve option woman so that he can't be lonely. Horrible man.
Thank you for this Dr, it has been 5 years since I left and 3 years since my divorce, my abusive marriage still haunts me. I was with my ex for over 13 years as college sweethearts. I am still healing, and waiting for an annulment from the Catholic Church. When you quoted Corinthians with their behaviours. It was spot on. Wish your video was out when I left as i would have just forwarded this! As Many people were saying he’s very nice, you should work harder at your marriage etc. Even when I exhausted every means…. So a double dose of trauma even after u leave!
But just wanted to say, You are helping so many people through your channel thank you and keep it up! You’re a star!🌟
My NH is covert. He thrives on being a victim, and he is a chronic complainer. I think he realized this was a very effective method to manipulate others and gain sympathy, so he upped his game. He is now in his 50s and he has pushed almost everyone away. I think he has taken things too far. I suspect many narcissists eventually expose themselves, and in the end, they have nobody.
Thank you so much Dr. Clarke for allowing God to use you! I have filed for a divorce, wanted the Narc to leave my home but New York State law says the person can remain in the home until the divorce is over. It is extremely uncomfortable because I dont trust him and he is abusive but im trusting GOD to bring us out safely. Thank you for the suppport!
I’m done with my abuser!!!!
As soon as the believe your over ‘it’ they escalate their abuse- the more we forgive, the more insidious the abuse becomes💯
He even convince me to go to the doctor because I need help. But actually he is the one who badly needs it. He is an abuser, toxic,evil and everything that you can't ever imagine in an evil. He can't admit he is a narc. Not a sad lonely man but an evil man who keep on ruining women's lives . Not easy . He is miserable.
Have you watched the old movie Gaslight? He sounds like the husband in the movie. Despicable.
I need to watch that movie. Yeah the narc that went no contact with destroyed families. He allegedly has stage 4 cancer, well to bad for him I am still no contact for life
I need to watch that movie . He is purely evil
Yes! I have been to 2 doctors crying to them that something’s wrong with me! I even was getting hormone injections bc he said something was wrong with me for not wanting sex with him! I believed him for years!
I was sitting on the docs table when I told the doc the hormone pills were not working…. She said that’s impossible.. my levels were perfect in my bloodwork. She then asked, “ Is there something else going on causing you pain?” And i sat there dumbfounded. I said no. But I screamed yes inside. God is helping to peel back layers to identify what is and has happened for the past 20 years. I’m 41, I keep thinking I’m too old, I’ve actually thought to myself “ I’ll just stick it out till I die”.
Now with this knowledge that it isn’t my fault and never really was… I’m like I’d rather be alone than with him.
Thank you all for your stories, they help with mine.❤
@@iowamom454 exactly that is what they're going to do to you. Convince you that there's something wrong to you and you need to be fix. But actually no man is going to do that and say that to the woman thy respect and love. He convinced me many times and then I realized how horrible and awful he is. What a sad evil horrible man . Using some women to recover his past traumas and left them like a garbage after destroying their emotional and mental health. A narc men is just an evil. We women should learn how to protect ourselves, be independent and work hard for our mental health. We don't need a man like them. We should be independent to meet our needs. And I wish I've know this kind of thing before. Thank you for sharing your story.
So, so, SO accurate!! Except my family doesn’t believe me when I tell the truth about the abuse. They are telling everyone I’m gravely mentally ill. So I left them, too.
So sorry. 💛 You're not alone. It is common to have to walk away from family & friends unfortunately. God knows the truth and He vindicates His saints.
It is sad that so many people are going through this and unfortunately, lots of divorce. Likely that many were suffering for years, at least now there are these platforms to help and guide to a way out. Thank you Dr. Clarke, you speak the Truth in love.
This letter is almost as if I was the one writing to Dr Clark. I have my answer but I’m so devastated at the same time 😢
You can do it. The spell will be broken. You will experience happiness and freedom
This is a so strange phenomenon. Abuse from the closest person in your life that no one outside sees, even simultaneously while serving God, praying, worshipping and listening to the same often very sound Bible teachings. Still the unhealthy dynamics goes on and on for years and cannot be dealt with because of rage from the controlling spouse. I still can’t get my head to understand. 😢
This is what I'm going through. Today he spit in my face, he threatened to put me in jail. Hours later he acted as if nothing, very nice for a while. This cycle repeats itself over and over that's why they keep you trapped, you think they will change and then it happens again, the abuse.
Invest in yourself so you can get stronger and stronger and leave him. He’s not worthy of you and you don’t deserve this.
@@zuuumbaaa thankyou for this encouraging words
Trauma bonding !!
We have to remember that "It is for freedom that Christ died" We are not free in Christ staying in an abusive marriage. Thats bondage!! 😢
I have never watched someone that is so spot on and who covers the Christian aspect. I stayed because I believed in marriage and what I signed up for. I am already in the process of the divorce, but it is still good to hear this confirmation. Thank you so much for what you do😊
YES ALL YOUR SAYING IS TRUE!
Thankyou so much for this video. At times they fool you you think they will change but the abuse never changes
Dr Clarke you are a Godsend. I pray for you to be blessed by your ministry. You have given me so much knowledge on what I have been going through!! And you’ve given me strength to leave.
I purchased 5 of your " Enough is Enough " books 📚 excellent 5 ☆☆☆☆☆ 😊
Narc also happens as out siders puts psychological trauma on opponent one and creates confusion from knowing what was truth...plays game and other one in depression...
💯Thanks to God for the peace he gave me, so that I knew I was released from my marriage! ☝️ Divorce papers were filed on me.
My husband discarded me and filed for divorce the first chance he could get
Wow!! You are telling the truth!! Thanks again!!
15 months out now and healing has been rough, but God does work miracles of healing. It takes time. I feel about maybe 3/4 the way there, but there is hope! Church unfortunately would not offer grace for the healing process. I have been away from the assembly to heal because being around people was triggering and delaying me, so I isolated to get my nervous system normalized as well as work on my son's anxiety, which has all been healed, but church took my membership. It feels like being abandoned all over again, so there are people who won't understand, but God is good regardless. Keep fighting! 💛
God bless you for this thank you for your work and your videos. They are so therapeutic. May God bless you always.❣️🙏🏻
Spot on!
So Relatable….
How can a narcissist change permanently? Especially age 50+ ? Isn't that also a mental illness, chemical imbalance? Also being raised with a parent that was or both? Families are suppose to love & help you find help for this not abandon a person. I wish I knew. Unreal these days. Thank you & if any help, it's appreciated. ✌🏻😷❤️🌹🙏
He can change if he recognizes his issue (but they usually don’t) and goes seek help on his own (they usually don’t) and commit to the change process going to do his work for the rest of his life (they usually don’t). What it takes for a narcissist to change is almost the same it takes for a heavy drinker to stop drinking. Going to a Recovery program for the rest of their lives. But they don’t.
Sometimes family doesn’t believe you because the narc has them convinced he’s such a great person. The bad behavior is only behind closed doors.
I think there’s a difference between Evil narcissism and mental illness or imbalance.
I think the narc can turn off the bad behavior at will, in front of others, where as imbalanced or MI would not be that easy to control. I’m no mental health expert, but I believe narcissism is evil, IMO.
Great video.
Thanks Dr. Clark!
Spot on Dr. Clarke spot on!!!!!!
My narcissist abuser is cruel and abusive to almost everyone in his life because he's a victim of himself. It's blatantly obvious and people still don't believe it's insanity he didn't even try to be nice they believed him while he was mean and abusive. No one cares about the children and this is something we need to fix. Being the child of a narcissist is a travesty. You know a man is a narcissist when even the end of his marriage is a self-centered attempt for attention from everyone he's ever known and he makes the children focus on him instead of their healing. These men beg for a divorce and when they finally get one through a tantrum and try to get the wife dragged back into the marriage against her will while using the court to do so. It's not marriage it's ownership and torture, thank you Dr Clark. God protect you.
Exactly. My husband of 20 years always tells me to leave, “there’s the door”, “no one wants you here”, “go get divorce papers”, “ I don’t love you but I’m not going to be the one to file”. He is a coward. I’m not ready to leave yet. Have to get the book secretly bc if he finds it, I’ll pay for it.
Im not scared to leave anymore, educating myself helps so much. Honestly, I fight him back now. I don’t let him abuse me in front of the kids… I fight him back. I call out every eye roll, every condescending comment, every glare (that’s his favorite). Another thing that has helped is walking outside and eating right. He forbid me to exercise, now I don’t care how much he rages. He also mocks me for eating healthy… says I shouldn’t get to spend money on myself. You know what when I get free, I’m wearing those yoga pants he forbids me to wear!!
I’m 41, 4 kids and you could not have put it any better, enough is enough.
I appreciate this!❤
My wife divorced me for being verbally abusive and to some extent a narcissist. I could never understand what I was doing that hurt her so bad. Not denying her pain tho. Can someone give an example of the abusive behavior you experienced, so that I can see if that's what I was doing?
Some of the ways my ex emotionally and verbally hurt me: When asked to fix a window for months on end, his response would be, "You know where the hammer is." or, "If it bothers you that much, then you fix it." Once when letting him know that our 5 children would need new snow boots for the winter as no longer did hand-me-downs fit, , he would said, "What do you want me to do about it?" I told him that he was their father and I was telling him so he would know that money had to be set aside for that. We had the money, but he was irresponsible in spending and his wants and needs came first. He would carry on conversations with people, but wouldn't speak to me about anything. He would scoff at my tears in how he looked down on me. Many times throughout our 20 + years, he would tell me how God favored men over women because he created man first-and he truly meant this.
This is only a smattering of the nasty remarks I would get. I would cry when I needed help, and being upset, I would say, "Why can't you help?", and he would be seeing and watching me struggle and he would say, "All you have to do is ask." He would always show up for church, saying his "amens" and "praise the lord", so everyone thought he was a good Christian man and father. He was lousy at both. No one could understand why I divorced him. They never saw the constant abuse from him. He, to this day hides behind religion. His new wife has told my adult children how he treats her less than he treats others.
I am married to a covert narcissist for 42yrs . We live like strangers. No intamacy for 10yrs. He has turned my children against me.. i am stuck because of financial reasons.
God will create a way of escape for you. May Jesus free you miraculously, in Jesus name. Amen!
I was married to one for 38 years. I thought suicide was my only way out, because he was always in control of the finances, and I was a housewife, and everyone, church and family loved him. I took a chance and reached out…I ran for my sanity and my life.
Don’t give up. Pray, make a list of people you know and trust…consider them carefully, just reach out to one…maybe you can get out. No one deserves to live like that.
I am in exactly the same boat. 42 years, covert, communal narc. Everyone thinks he's great. My 5 adult kids side with him in every instance or make excuses for him. No support. Stay at home mom all those years. People say leave and go into a shelter. It's not that easy. He truly believes he's a great guy and I misread things.
You give me hope Dr Clarke. ❤
LETTER TO THE NARCISSIST, YOU MANIPULATED ME WHEN I WAS GENEROUS WITHOUT STIPULATIONS! YOU LIED TO ME WHEN YOU DIDNT EVEN KNOW I WOULD HAVE FORGIVEN YOU FOR THE TRUTH, YOU CHEATED ON ME WHEN I NEVER EVER WITHHELD AFFECTION!! I BUT I SURVIVED, I BEAT YOU AT A GAME I DIDNT EVEN KNOW I WAS PLAYING!
If you live to be a century old, you nor I will ever know ALL of the secrets of the sick and evil narc. And that is the truth!!!!! Focus on your healing and moving on. You are wasting your time trying to figure the narc out. !!
He really going to make everyone believe that he's the greatest guys in the world! He is starving with attention from everyone. All I can describe in a one word is he is a pure "evil".
Listening to this I felt like he was describing pedophiles. I'm curious if any studies have been done and if all pedophiles are Narcissists? I know not all narcissist are pedophiles.
You will also be told you are the reason he left ....
Exactly. It's always the reason that he is going to say. But actually he just find a new supply. A new soul that he can damaged and ruin again
.
@@notlikeyoucheater thanks for your reply. It's always nice to be able to communicate with individuals here and have others perceptions. This has been a difficult and confusing journey. But I intend on moving forward.
I know he knows hes narc and toxic but dont admit it. He is purely evil
I think I got tricked into believing I was loved because I was told that I was loved and I was treated kindly intermittently. I could never reconcile my misery with what I thought the truth to be. “I love you” “I’m so lucky to have you” “you’re beautiful” “I love your smile” While there may have been genuine feelings there at times it did not fit with what was happening the rest of the time. Neglect, financial abuse, verbal abuse, etc.. And now that I’ve left and divorced I see there is no love lost. Like they say with a narcissistic person. Either you are making them happy or they are destroying you. No I’m betweens.
Worship God & not Man
My adult son is a very cold cruel little man who os into controlling games like he learned from his Daddy!!! The things we texted each other was soooo ugly and can you imagin. Being angary for him having a easy life??
In reality he’s a House devil; and a Street Angel. 😈 / 😇
Thank you
Good morning from ''YIPMA BARUYA'' You Tube channel. PAPUA NEW GUINEA
Dr Jekyl & Mr Hyde.
He told me in a letter I was Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.. another projection
@@rochellemarshall6409 oh the narcs; they just love to judge us by their character. They have no good character unless they can get some sort of notoriety from it. They don’t do good deeds in secret; they must have the glory of being seen or noticed.
She.
I am in South Africa. How do i get the book. N the price please?
This is my wife to a "T"
.... but he says it's only "men"🙄
Your not kidding they don't 💯✔️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Such Fact, and yes BOB is a complete prick and always will be
Live your life go be happy, love your life
I have been a single Mom 19 years and don't go anywhere near Men ever...I am leaving this world enjoying my time with my son traveling finishing what i like. And loving my life most of times because life will have trials but I don't need trials with a Man or a Narc or negative people...Thank you🤍🎀✨