So many gay guys can relate to your story, but unfortunately not many straight friends turn out to be such amazing friends like Ryan is. Loved watching this.
And sadly the ones who do often aren’t ‘straight’ but in the closet like this guy. It’s shame there aren’t stories about friendships between gay men and real straight men who are disgusted by homosexuality but still tolerate gays but that isn’t likely to happen 😂
Amen. His journey of realization and self acceptance is so relatable. I wish my str8 friend was more like Ryan. I really was in love with him but he wasn’t so understanding.
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 i don't see it. Your friend needs you gone and you stay? To what mess with his head. How selfish. Uh. Straight guys ugh. An he had the guts to bring her up at the wedding? Lack of emotional intelligence. That's where straight guys be at. Like who dafuq does that
Are you guys seriously glorifying a straight man for being a normal human being showing proper compassion? If only gay ppl were so easily treated with such respect. The saying goes “fool everyone but at least don’t fool yourself”. 😄 The level of emotional intelligence of this one straight guy is nothing in comparison to the emotional intelligence of a gay person. It’s a given.
I’ve had the exact same experiences, I understand exactly what it’s like. At the moment, there is a guy who I like and see most of the time at work, we have quite a bit in common and have had similar life experiences, we get along great, make jokes and laugh; it’s mostly me that makes him smile and laugh and I came out to him, and yeah I wish that like you said we could have a conversation like this video shows us. I think on some level we have had a conversation almost like this.
Well, you have to be careful nowadays. Some guys who are “allies” will be so great and warm to your face, but will just as easily crack jokes and talk crap behind your back. It all depends, I guess.
@@theRAV4000 True. Moreover, if one is going through issues which lowers one self-esteem, and either has been having problems in this romantic relationships or not having one at all, then it becomes sheer torture! I think that is not advisable at all in my opinion since it's only natural that your brain will have no defenses to feel that magnetic pull towards the guy, especially if he is as gorgeous as this handsome young man, too many qualities in the same package, just irresistible.
This is exactly what becoming a mature adult looks like; putting all the crap from childhood/early adulthood to rest and moving on in a healthy way. No grudges, no resentment.
I think part of being a mature adult is also letting things go and not necessarily moving on. Some things are too painful to move in from and there are many ways to being a mature adult. Just my 2 cents. Have a lovely day
It warms my heart that Ryan is asking questions about your feelings. Most straight guys don't have the depth or capacity to have any concern with how you feel. I can see why you fell in love with him.
This is true. Not all straight men are like Ryan. It is very hard for men to have sympathy or concern for another men, gay or straight. I don't know whether if it's how men are being raised in society or because of the expectation of men. I'm sure when Ryan brought his girlfriend to meet Brian, he had zero sensibility on what he was doing. It's often too late when a straight man knows that he fucked up.
The unrequited love of a gay man falling completely in love with a straight friend. It broke me almost completely when I went through it because despite rationally knowing the feelings and expectations are unrealistic, you still can’t let go. Worst emotional pain I’ve ever experienced but grew so much from it.
@@angelus1738 yes and I can tell you there are a lot of gay men who experience some form of gender dysphoria. The unfortunate part is a lot of them are misguided in thinking that predominately heterosexual men will love them if they are masculine just like them, but what they really need is a feminine counterpart.
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 Don+t see anything only in the physical attraction and being male or female. Have eyes which can see more. GOD give it and GOD shall took it away. After rising from the dead, we are genderless. Mark 12:25 For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven. Life is not fornicating with one another. (wise soul FLEES FORNICATIONS). Life is: a test though which we chose life or death, getting right with GOD and becoming new creature, There`s only reasons to PRAISE GOD, cause HE give us; - our existence (life), - our health, - made us either male or female, Everything which is worthy to have, GOD GIVE. So, souls, what`s it is? You all gonna chose life and flee fornications? or You all gonna chose death and make your own lives only filled with fornications? Cause ALONE TIME stops your heart? Away from other HUMANS, take away your mind? What`s scars you all HAVING ALONE TIME? Deuteronomy 30:19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live: Joshua 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. Mankind has turned lives into 1 big fornications with everyone. No wonder, no soul has no longer any will to live. (Suicide rates are high). We should start advising humans to have ALONE TIME without any technological garbage: TVs Phones - computers - internet. It is healthy to feel: boredom WE ARE SPIRITS, after all. Genderless beings. Why to make this temporarily life filled with PRIDE AND SICK AND EVIL WAYS of living? What reflects in our lives that, we being HUMANS? - abusing one another daily in all evil and sick ways - is that what`s reflects it? We desire so badly the fate SODOM AND GOMORRAH had? Luke 5:32 I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. John 3:7 Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again. No soul is born any of the lgbitq+ All humans are born with sinful nature, making us deceivable beings. Tell a beautiful lie: - moon landing - living on a globe - 1000s of genders - evolution - climate change - governments shares real news - Schools give us education ……… we believe. Tell truth: - Humans are sinners, called to repentance - born again - obey BIBLE - flat earth covered with firmament, no moving, perfect creation from GOD - mankind under MK ULTRA mind control (deceived by lies) - THE RIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT OF GOD - TV and schools BRAINWASH our minds - Only 2 genders (male and female) …….. we believe not.
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 We don't know all the details, but I would say that, in any relationship, if one person is looking for more than the other, then letting that person down and putting everything in perspective requires some patience and understanding.
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072Brian admits in the video to spending 3-4 hours a week for two months yelling at Ryan and making him apologize for the same things over and over again. This is after Brian had effectively ghosted Ryan without explanation for practically a year. Most people would have given up on the relationship long before it got to that point. It takes a great deal of patience and understanding to see through one’s own hurt and the other’s anger to realize that they both truly care about each other and we’re just hurt people doing their best to heal.
I was deeply moved by this story, and while I don't want to diminish the suffering Brian endured, I wanted to highlight the rarity of men like Ryan who possess such profound emotional intelligence within male friendships. Men's insecurities surrounding their masculinity, coupled with negative cultural norms that enforce policing of each other's behavior, create an overwhelming fear of embracing "feminine" traits and emotions. This repression prevents them from fully embracing the inherent beauty of their own humanity. I would cherish having a friend like Ryan who embodies these qualities and embodies the true essence of brotherhood.
Ryan is like the most beautiful person inside and out. he was so patient with you and didn’t hold things against you. very emotionally mature. your friendship is beautiful
I've had friends like this and at the time, my feelings of love spilled over into the romantic side of things. Of course, nothing happened and I would never expect it to. People like this still amaze me-this is friendship and pure love in a wonderful way. Thank you for posting this.
@@helenalovelock1030 because girl and boy bonding is different to boy and boy bonding. The same as the friendship and bonding between two girls. And when you fall in love with that friend, it’s just devastating.
@@discogareth yes I guess girl and boys don’t usually become BEST friends. However when girls and boys form a relationship they often become best friends I’m best friend with my boyfriend and I’ve experienced the devastating heart break of loosing that bond when you love someone and they don’t love you back it’s must be very similar surely ?
Ryan is the absolute epitome of what heteronormative men should strive to be. So many queer folks, including myself, can relate to this experience. I am so glad you two found a way through this and can talk about it like this now. Thank you for having the courage and vulnerability to share this experience with all of us
@@renealexander2703I think they are referring more to the acceptance and understanding that Ryan showed rather than arguing that all heterosexual men should be carbon copies of Ryan.
@@josephsherby , true. But I think gay men should not tell their straight friends that they are in love with them. It's disrespectful when they already know that their friend is straight. It's like a straight man knowing that a woman is a lesbian but still confessing his feelings. It can be viewed as disrespectful to their sexual orientation. If gay men want to be respected for their sexual orientation, then you have to respect straight men's sexual orientation as well. They are not interested in men having romantic/sexual feelings for them. They want male friends who view them in a strictly platonic way, like a brother/sibling.
This is exactly what i went through a lot. The pushing away. The distance. The crying. The confessions. I felt this video so personally. This is beautiful.
Everyone needs a Ryan. Being a gay man myself the IMPACT of this video hit HARD because I think we all go through these things and WISH we all had a friend like Ryan. Thank for this video Brian.
This is THE most beautiful and honest video. I think people need to be able to have these hard conversations with someone that may not be in your life today, but was a huge part of who you've become. I hope I get the chance to do this one day. ❤
I mean, who's not gonna fall for Ryan, right? He's smart and his dept of understanding people is just adorable. He's a friend that every gay people would want and need. He is just effortlessly make you comfy with his words, that's very commendable of him. 😅
Omg I’m in love with this man. He is so thoughtful, understanding and well-spoken. Brian, his wife, anyone is so lucky to have him in their life. Also I knewwww he was a therapist, this man’s energy there’s no way he wasn’t a psychologist, counsellor or therapist
24:45 “you are incredible, and whoever pushes you away just because you’re gay is too insecure and too afraid to know what they’re really missing”. i had to go back three times for this to sink in. this whole story and conversation is incommensurably valuable and meaningful and inspiring, thank you both and PLEASE PROTECT BRIAN AT ALL COSTS
The level of understanding and how confident Ryan is with himself is admirable and very heartbreaking for anyone who’s fell in love with a friend like him because they’re such a beautiful and amazing person/people. We need more people like Ryan 💗
I’m sitting here crying after hearing this wonderful story. Ryan, you are a treasure! Thank you. The energy you put out into the world is desperately needed.
I fell in love with my closest guy friends, we called him camacho. We had cross country together, Fashion design, and 8th period our senior year. We literally spent so much time together, FaceTimed everyday, helping each other dress for school. It finally came to me that I might have feelings for him, so the night before we went on thanksgiving break I had sent him a text how I felt for him and that was the last time we ever spoke after he told me that he wouldn’t ever tell anyone what I told him. I still think about him to this day, but this video really did something to me for the better. Thank u ❤
@@BrianTerada the main difference is I never told him and that he ended up liking my best friend and she liked him too…yeah horrible combination from my perspective. Anyway, can’t wait for future videos! This one is definitely my favorite you’ve uploaded! Haven’t really seen much videos like this!
I had a Ryan in my life too. My coming out is pretty much the same story, only that the girl he was into was my best friend who wasn't into him. It was complicated, messy, and turbulent. But the two of them were the first people I came out to, the first people that accepted me, made space for me and listened to me pertinently despite me harbouring a lot of undeserved resentment towards him. It's a shame we drifted apart after I moved to another country. But I am forever grateful to him. I cried through this several times. This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story.
This should be a required video in every school and youth support group everywhere. This story will definitely save lives. Thank you both for taking us on your journey and showing the meaning of true friendship, understanding and love. God brought you together for a reason. I commend you gentlemen.
You are both brave to be so openly honest and vulnerable. This is such an important video for those of us who have lived through the same experiences. To anyone currently going though this, learn from your heartache and prepare for joy.
I cannot thank you enough for sharing your story. I had a best friend for 11 years and sadly he just discarded me, made me feel worthless. After listening to this, I realized that people like Ryan exist albeit not in the great number that I would hope for. My former best friend simply did not have this level of emotional intelligence and patience. It's not a jab at him, he just couldn't understand and the reality is for many of us gay men we are paired with men who do not understand. I found this so healing and I'm so glad the two of you share such a strong and meaningful friendship.
Dont lie to him to make him feel better. Straight men have a harder time building friendship with woman because of sexual desires. Hard to call some one friend when you feel those things. Thats why straight men often say. I cant no be friends with woman. Even tho i foundation that bs
Can this be a series ? " The Confrontation" Confront ex friends, ex Co workers, friends with unresolved issues, roommates, family members ect... It's very therapeutic and inspiring. Thank you for this Brian
This was such an important video for not only the two of you, but for everyone who is currently going through this. The level of social intellect that you both shared with us is either a wake-up call for those of us that have "forgotten" what it was like to have gone through that kind of pain, to those of us that are currently going through it. Thank you so much to the both of you for sharing that level of insight with us! It's truly inspirational.
That's why stay out and friend zone straight dudes before they could break your heart. It is not worth the time and the heart break. Don't invest on a dead investment.
I am speechless at the beauty of what I just saw. This is what true friendship looks like. This is what genuine love looks like. And this is the type of authentic relationship to which we should all aspire. Thanks to you both for sharing. And Ryan - oh, my goodness - so many people need a friend like you!
I fell in love with my best friend too. We met when we were 14. I knew that he wasn't gay, and I didn't come out until I was 18. The difference in my situation is that he was a textbook narcissist who violently loved the attention that I gave him. He would lead me on to keep my attention focused on him because I gave him every bit of desparate adoration that he needed to keep his ego soothed and he didn't have to give me much in return, because even a crumb of acknowledgement was enough for me. He'd get physical with me and flirt just up until the point where a line would be crossed and would then stop. I didn't even realize that I was in what was effectively an abusive relationship for YEARS. It wasn't until I was 30 YEARS OLD that I began to push away and move into my own lane, and he basically fell to pieces because he was no longer the biggest part of my world. He began to desperately try to give me more of what I wanted to keep me on the leash, but it was too late. I texted him one last time and told him that I never wanted to hear his voice or see his face again. I've been informed by mutual friends that he's been in a loveless marriage for years and has been miserable. He asks about me regularly, but all of our friends knew the situation between us and refuse to indulge him about what's going on with me. It's odd now that he'd drop everything to have my influence back in his life, and I've never been happier. I don't look at the half of my life that I spent chasing him as a waste. It's a cautionary tale about the importance of self-respect and the importance of setting boundaries with people. I'm almost glad that he wasn't as considerate and empathetic as Ryan, because it would've been nearly impossible for me to break away.
wow.. I can def relate to having crushes on those kinds of narcissistic types who manipulate the situation to get their ego stroked. And then play all innocent like they didn’t do anything
This video was so comforting, I had a similar experience when I came out to my best friend and how much I loved him, and he took it pretty well, and we stayed friends for a very long time after that. I am still happy I came across such an understanding and healing friendship. It changed the way I pursued men, for sure.
No wonder you fell in love with him. I just did. What a great video idea and how it could help so many young people struggling with coming out. I had such a hard time in college and I wish I had a friend like Ryan. He’s a beautiful soul and handsome too. We need him to be a spokesperson for us. If everyone could hear what he has to say, changes could be made.
okay, immediately oi was like, ''is Ryan a therapist?' and yes, yes he is. lol... but really, such a beautiful story, you have such a special friendship. Thankyou for sharing that. I'm so glad you're still friends to this day.
How can you not fall in love with Ryan. And how lucky you were that you fell in love with Ryan. Wish we all had a Ryan during those years of darkness and pain. Ryan is light, warmth, comfort and the harbour away from the dark, cold, and angry sea in the middle of the night.
I met the first boy i would fall in love with in 1st grade. We were best friends all through grade school, and when i came out at 15, he beyond stood up for me - which just made it worse! We're in our 40's now and still best friends ❤
Brian, I cannot express how similar our life stories are. Listening to you share what you went through was so surreal. I'm sure many people have had experiences like yours. It's just nice to see you out there expressing it, talking about it, and breaking down all the negative mentality that we've been through. As a fellow Oregonian, thank you.😊
That was such an incredible thing to watch. I wish we all had a Ryan in our life - that was a true friend in every sense of the word. So many times I was choking back tears having gone through a similar situation a couple of times, without the benefit of such an open and loving version. While I could totally identify with Brian's side of the story, I would love to hear more about Ryan's side, because honestly, looking back on my own experiences, I wasn't think about that other person other than how they were affecting me. I don't think I realized that before. I immediately assumed I was must have been so selfish, which is partly true, but I realized I was assuming they were unaffected, that my friendship with them was so insignificant and unimportant that while I was sitting in my pain, they had moved on without a care. I see now that might not have been the case at all. I never thought I would be hurting them. Interesting to consider all these years later.
I'm probably the only one who doesn't find this so heartwarming. I think when you're deeply in love with someone, it's best to get distance from them or you won't ever move on. It seems like Brian hasn't moved on and is still in love with Ryan. It's a painful state to be in to be around someone you are in love with and can't be with. I don't think Ryan understands, and I'm not sure the endless talks they had for hours every day in college was actually healthy for Brian, it fucks with your head to have someone you are in love with want to be that close to you, but not want to express their love physically with you or actually be with you. I think Ryan is good at compartmentalizing and intellectualizing his feelings. I must be the only one irked by it rather than charmed by it.
Such a beautiful story, I really hope everyone had a friend like that in their own ones. I know I did, even in a small town in the Pacific Coast of Mexico. This conversation is more than just worth sharing with every friend and family, as it opens so many dialogues we should all embrace, thank you both for opening your hearts and let us see it 🙌🏽
This video made me cry. The fact you both faced different challenges, confronted each other and grew, with him helping you be free and him having this experience he could learn from to help other people like you, felt like a story with a happy ending. Thank you for this video. We need more people tell their story, both similar and different from yours.
I absolutely loved this story. Two remarkable men. Ryan was and is a wonderful friend…could NOT ask for a better human being than this. If the world had people like this everywhere, we would be a much better place. Bless them both 🌈
This must be the greatest Friendship ever told, with both sides equally superior to the situation, manage their feelings , tending to the other one's needs. This is superb. I should be shared/presented academically, among theologians, it is admirable. Thank You for sharing this! You guys are beautiful, enlightened Souls!
I'm so incredibly lucky that I also had a friend like this, I was in love with him and when I ultimately confessed it to him he laughed and said he knew all along, we're still terrific friends!
Ryan is an AMAZING friend and I wish more people were like him! Thank you for being so understanding!! Thank you Brian for sharing your story! So happy for you and how you reclaimed your life!!! You do you boo!!
Wow, this video, this storyline, this interactions, and this whole 31:15 of just having to hear Brian and Ryan's story - its such a powerful, humbling and honestly a positive experience for me. Testament to the friendship and the journey of accepting and supporting each other through a dark time and at the same time, learning new lessons for the betterment of one's life. I think Ryan came into your life for this exact purpose. I'm glad I found this on my side recommendation. Made my day. All the best to you two - through the highs and lows of life's journey - be free! On a side note - Ryan mentioned many great quotes throughout the video. Very thoughtful.
Thank you for sharing a conversation that so many people would be desperate to have but don't know how to. It gives me an impression of what healthy healing in a difficult situation can look like.
Yeah. You were/are so blessed to have someone like him in your life. As much as we often wish our straight crushes could be lovers, a lot of us really just needed that one secure straight friend. I appreciate you both for this. When he said he wanted to fight anyone that pushed you away, the tears just started coming. I did not expect to be moved by this. I thought this was gonna be a juicy story, but it was more like therapy I didn't know I needed. THANK YOU ✨
Brian I cant explain how much you talking about your experience helps educate me. These conversations are so important. Also just witnessing a friendship this special.
The feelings you described are the exact same I'm experiencing now. I fell in love with a straight friend too, and it's the worst pain I've ever felt. I confessed my feelings last month. It's such a dark place, you feel the whole world is turning you into a monster. And the powerful feeling of love becomes a weapon against you. Thank you for showing me it can get better, this couldn't have come at a better time
what I love most about Ryan is that he was gentle and kind enough, when you were in senior, to actually be able to be full-on yelled at by you and not taking it for himself. because he knew how alone all those months avoiding him and everything else must have felt for you, so he listened out of genuine love. I think it's one of my favourite videos ever it also goes to show how it *is* possible to still be friends with someone you're in love with ❤
This video was so much more than I thought it was going to be by the title. I'm left with the overwhelming feeling that more good stories need to be told, and more good people need to be celebrated. I could talk to 10,000 people and not find someone as mature and wise as Ryan. As others have said, EQ through the roof. To be that grounded and secure in college. Wow. Actual hero. Platonic love without caveats. My heart wants to explode with how much I want there to be more of this in the world. It explains so much about Brian. Be good to people, because in doing so you're making people good down the line. Give people the validation, respect, and love they deserve, and they'll be able to give all of that to the next person. Huge hugs to both of these guys. I can honestly say I wish I had friends like them. My life would have been so different had I been loved like that.
This story is so important because the feeling and insecurities are so common amongst gay kids. We’re told what we are is shameful & wrong for our entire childhood and almost become unlovable because we can’t love ourselves. Ryan is the definition of an ally & I wish I had that outlet when I was younger. Thank you both for sharing ❤
What an incredible interview. The entire time I kept thinking that Ryan reminded me of Mr. Rogers. Very calm, loving and a great listener. Then to find out he's a therapist....OF COURSE HE IS. He's terrific. Brian, I don't know you but thank you sharing your truth, your journey. So, very powerful.
This story should become a movie! I can relate to the feeling of being disgusting because of your sexuality and i’m sure that having good people to support you through this process is VERY important. Congratulations and thank you for sharing this amazing content.
Brian, you are incredibly lucky to have had such a devoted and loving friend (even if that wasn't what you wanted at first). The role that he played in your self-actualization is genuinely beautiful. More so than most, Ryan embodies what is supposed to be the true Christian mindset. Unconditional love, patience, and never passing judgement (or at least a capacity and willingness to forgive), even when he himself was hurting. I desperately wish that I had a Ryan when I was trying to navigate a very similar story to this one in my own life. I ultimately lost my faith, but I still value the morals at the core of my Christian upbringing. If we could only treat others the way we want to be treated, stories like this one might not have to happen with such heart-breaking frequency (though I'm glad that yours had a happy ending).
I came into this video expecting a lot of awkward tension and like uncomfortable conversations but this is honestly such a loving relashionship and its like inspirational.
The story of your friendship is absolutely heartwarming! And I LOLd when you mentioned Ryan is a marriage & family therapist bc hearing about his support for you was making me think wow he sounds like a therapist! 😂
Really sweet to see you both be so honest and raw with each other about the hurt and pain you both felt going through this experience, you're so lucky to have each other
I’m listening to this on National Coming Out day. I teared up with the letter you posted and how it was received. It is a tremendously scary thing for some of us. But what a relief! Hugs…
This was a fantastic, beautiful video!! If all of our straight crushes were like Ryan, we’d save so much money on therapy** just got to the end after writing this… makes sense!!
this is such a beautiful video it had me tearing up 🥺 thank you for sharing y'alls story and thank god you were lucky enough to have a wonderful friend by your side!
Wow, my God I thought this was something I went through alone. And I didn’t. Thank you so much for sharing this, it’s a truly healing experience. My friends name was Brandon. Our story was exactly the same as yours and Ryan’s. Until we went to the beach together with a group of our friends and we spent a week together sleeping in the same bed and cuddling and talking under the sheets. I tried to push him away during that time because I didn’t feel like he was being sensitive to my feelings (I had come out to him as bi several months prior). After that trip I decided it hurt too much to have him around so I told him we couldn’t be friends anymore. So much transpired after the fact and it hurt a lot. It destroyed our friendship. We were both at fault for several different reasons. But we’ve not spoken in years and I don’t think we ever will again.
Not me crying in my room while watching this. This is so relatable as a gay guy raised in a very conservative Christian environment and falling in love with a straight guy. Only for me it leaves emotional trauma that lasts, up to this day I can’t even begin to open up myself to other people and make emotional connections without being afraid of literally everything.
Me too, except I got into a relationship with a guy from my youth group a couple of years ago. He told me he was bisexual, but now he's just trying to be straight and he has a bunch of toxic straight guy energy, just bleh🤮 long story short he kissed me in the church kitchen and I fell in love with him, but he ended up just using me for his own sexual needs. Today I still have to deal with him being around since it's our last year of high school youth group, and every time im around him i just feel the hatred. I hate having to deal with all this, it got me so messed up emotionally and mentally to this day.
@@therealpilgrimchild @bisnusboi3626 you'll have much worse experiences with gay guys than that. Try not to hate that guy. See what you've been through as a lesson in life
Oh dear Brian, no gay guy could ever blame you for falling for Ryan. He's good looking, charming, smart, understanding and got that calm soothing voice! My first love was a straight guy in highschool. I was 17, gay, sad, and lonely, until I met him. I joined whatever activity he wanted to do and took all the chance I had to be with him. We were best friends for about a year. I can totally related to what you've been through, what a gay guy in closet would feel falling for his straight best friend. It hurt so much, even thinking about it nearly 30 years later. It's so nice you guys are still friends. This is the first time I've watched your channel and I love it Brian. Thank you.
So many gay guys can relate to your story, but unfortunately not many straight friends turn out to be such amazing friends like Ryan is. Loved watching this.
And sadly the ones who do often aren’t ‘straight’ but in the closet like this guy. It’s shame there aren’t stories about friendships between gay men and real straight men who are disgusted by homosexuality but still tolerate gays but that isn’t likely to happen 😂
That part ❤
Relate much
You can if you have a open minded, timid and introvert straight friend but have no many friends.
Amen. His journey of realization and self acceptance is so relatable. I wish my str8 friend was more like Ryan. I really was in love with him but he wasn’t so understanding.
Someone needs to find Ryan, gently wrap him in bubble wrap, and keep him safe forever. The world needs more people like him. ❤
I AGREE
Why?????
You are falling for Ryan ?😂
Wrap him you, signed sealed and delivered, he is yours!
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 i don't see it. Your friend needs you gone and you stay? To what mess with his head. How selfish. Uh. Straight guys ugh. An he had the guts to bring her up at the wedding? Lack of emotional intelligence. That's where straight guys be at. Like who dafuq does that
There’s nothing more attractive than a straight man who is secure about his own sexuality! And educated on top of that. Is Ryan a Therapist?
Yes!
Right
I can Say that this is the perfect example of "path of life " .. he always was a therapist!! 🎉🎉🎉
if you watch till the last minute you will find out he is one and he has a website about his job.
HE'S HANDSOME AND HOT THATS FOR SURE!
Ryan's level of emotional intelligence is wild.
Your probably in love with him
He's unreal
Honestly yes.
Yes a rare bird.
Are you guys seriously glorifying a straight man for being a normal human being showing proper compassion? If only gay ppl were so easily treated with such respect.
The saying goes “fool everyone but at least don’t fool yourself”. 😄
The level of emotional intelligence of this one straight guy is nothing in comparison to the emotional intelligence of a gay person. It’s a given.
RYAN BEING A THERAPIST MAKES TOTAL SENSE! God I need this man love and patience. What a beautiful video ❤️
You know I wouldn't be surprised if Brian is part of the reason that Ryan decided to go into therapy. The two of them are so true to each other!
While I was watching it I literally said Ryan sounds like a therapist. I aspire to be like him tbh. But alas, I'm broken.
@@boyizheng57112:20
As a gay man who has fallen in love with too many straight men, I really wish I could have these conversations with all of them.
I’ve had the exact same experiences, I understand exactly what it’s like.
At the moment, there is a guy who I like and see most of the time at work, we have quite a bit in common and have had similar life experiences, we get along great, make jokes and laugh; it’s mostly me that makes him smile and laugh and I came out to him, and yeah I wish that like you said we could have a conversation like this video shows us.
I think on some level we have had a conversation almost like this.
Me too dude. Me too
And releave our traumas? No thank you. Fuck that. Stay away from straight men who only uses you for validation.
Absolutely feel you. And I think, It would help us all so much talking to each other, to our crushes, and speaking out loud what we feel for them...
for what
Can we all have a compassionate, caring, and helpful straight friend like this guy?! Most of us just get bullied by them 😅
It’s so rare but once u find them, u get this 😔
true but also straight guys caring for their gay friends only makes them even more attractive and I'm like swooning whenever I meet one of those
Well, you have to be careful nowadays. Some guys who are “allies” will be so great and warm to your face, but will just as easily crack jokes and talk crap behind your back. It all depends, I guess.
@@arynrowland862 Also sadly true, sigh, which is most disappointing and hurtful.
@@theRAV4000 True.
Moreover, if one is going through issues which lowers one self-esteem, and either has been having problems in this romantic relationships or not having one at all, then it becomes sheer torture!
I think that is not advisable at all in my opinion since it's only natural that your brain will have no defenses to feel that magnetic pull towards the guy, especially if he is as gorgeous as this handsome young man, too many qualities in the same package, just irresistible.
This is exactly what becoming a mature adult looks like; putting all the crap from childhood/early adulthood to rest and moving on in a healthy way. No grudges, no resentment.
I think part of being a mature adult is also letting things go and not necessarily moving on. Some things are too painful to move in from and there are many ways to being a mature adult. Just my 2 cents. Have a lovely day
It warms my heart that Ryan is asking questions about your feelings. Most straight guys don't have the depth or capacity to have any concern with how you feel. I can see why you fell in love with him.
No wonder women Flock to them
Because he is his friend, he want to find out how the distancing happened. Is that so rare?
@@tuongmac2263 Actually, I think it is. It's just my opinion
@@tuongmac2263 It's extremely rare in my experience. A lot of guys don't even want to hint at the fact that they miss a friendship.
This is true. Not all straight men are like Ryan. It is very hard for men to have sympathy or concern for another men, gay or straight. I don't know whether if it's how men are being raised in society or because of the expectation of men. I'm sure when Ryan brought his girlfriend to meet Brian, he had zero sensibility on what he was doing. It's often too late when a straight man knows that he fucked up.
It's incredibly rare to have a friend like this. Cherish the friendship always.
The unrequited love of a gay man falling completely in love with a straight friend. It broke me almost completely when I went through it because despite rationally knowing the feelings and expectations are unrealistic, you still can’t let go. Worst emotional pain I’ve ever experienced but grew so much from it.
Literally all my teenage years over and over again
Just transition to escape it
@@cottonsealjust transition sweetie!
@@fashupora5487 You seem obsessed with telling people this. Have you transitioned already?
@@angelus1738 yes and I can tell you there are a lot of gay men who experience some form of gender dysphoria. The unfortunate part is a lot of them are misguided in thinking that predominately heterosexual men will love them if they are masculine just like them, but what they really need is a feminine counterpart.
How gentle, understanding and patient Ryan was/is. I’m so glad you guys were able to work through everything and remain friends
You’re acting like there was something arduous that he needed to be patient about
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 Don+t see anything only in the physical attraction and being male or female. Have eyes which can see more. GOD give it and GOD shall took it away. After rising from the dead, we are genderless.
Mark 12:25 For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.
Life is not fornicating with one another. (wise soul FLEES FORNICATIONS). Life is: a test though which we chose life or death, getting right with GOD and becoming new creature, There`s only reasons to PRAISE GOD, cause HE give us; - our existence (life), - our health, - made us either male or female, Everything which is worthy to have, GOD GIVE. So, souls, what`s it is? You all gonna chose life and flee fornications? or You all gonna chose death and make your own lives only filled with fornications?
Cause ALONE TIME stops your heart?
Away from other HUMANS, take away your mind?
What`s scars you all HAVING ALONE TIME?
Deuteronomy 30:19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:
Joshua 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
Mankind has turned lives into 1 big fornications with everyone.
No wonder, no soul has no longer any will to live. (Suicide rates are high).
We should start advising humans to have ALONE TIME without any technological garbage:
TVs
Phones - computers - internet.
It is healthy to feel:
boredom
WE ARE SPIRITS, after all. Genderless beings. Why to make this temporarily life filled with PRIDE AND SICK AND EVIL WAYS of living?
What reflects in our lives that, we being HUMANS? - abusing one another daily in all evil and sick ways - is that what`s reflects it? We desire so badly the fate SODOM AND GOMORRAH had?
Luke 5:32
I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
John 3:7
Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.
No soul is born any of the lgbitq+
All humans are born with sinful nature, making us deceivable beings.
Tell a beautiful lie:
- moon landing
- living on a globe
- 1000s of genders
- evolution
- climate change
- governments shares real news
- Schools give us education
………
we believe.
Tell truth:
- Humans are sinners, called to repentance - born again - obey BIBLE
- flat earth covered with firmament, no moving, perfect creation from GOD
- mankind under MK ULTRA mind control (deceived by lies)
- THE RIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT OF GOD
- TV and schools BRAINWASH our minds
- Only 2 genders (male and female)
……..
we believe not.
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 We don't know all the details, but I would say that, in any relationship, if one person is looking for more than the other, then letting that person down and putting everything in perspective requires some patience and understanding.
@@andrew_owens7680 what does that have to Do with what I just said?
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072Brian admits in the video to spending 3-4 hours a week for two months yelling at Ryan and making him apologize for the same things over and over again. This is after Brian had effectively ghosted Ryan without explanation for practically a year. Most people would have given up on the relationship long before it got to that point. It takes a great deal of patience and understanding to see through one’s own hurt and the other’s anger to realize that they both truly care about each other and we’re just hurt people doing their best to heal.
I was deeply moved by this story, and while I don't want to diminish the suffering Brian endured, I wanted to highlight the rarity of men like Ryan who possess such profound emotional intelligence within male friendships. Men's insecurities surrounding their masculinity, coupled with negative cultural norms that enforce policing of each other's behavior, create an overwhelming fear of embracing "feminine" traits and emotions. This repression prevents them from fully embracing the inherent beauty of their own humanity. I would cherish having a friend like Ryan who embodies these qualities and embodies the true essence of brotherhood.
beautifully said
He’s a therapist, so I would hope he had some emotional intelligence.
I think it's safe to say that we've ALL fallen in love with him.
Ryan is like the most beautiful person inside and out. he was so patient with you and didn’t hold things against you. very emotionally mature. your friendship is beautiful
I've had friends like this and at the time, my feelings of love spilled over into the romantic side of things. Of course, nothing happened and I would never expect it to. People like this still amaze me-this is friendship and pure love in a wonderful way. Thank you for posting this.
He loves him 💕💕💕
There’s nothing like the love, pain, heartbreak and grief experienced between a gay boy and his straight best mate. It just hits totally different.
This hit hard
Yea it’s taken me 3 years to get over my last straight friend love feeling on my part
Why is it difficult to a straight girl falling in love with a straight guy friend that doesn’t love her back ?
@@helenalovelock1030 because girl and boy bonding is different to boy and boy bonding. The same as the friendship and bonding between two girls. And when you fall in love with that friend, it’s just devastating.
@@discogareth yes I guess girl and boys don’t usually become BEST friends. However when girls and boys form a relationship they often become best friends I’m best friend with my boyfriend and I’ve experienced the devastating heart break of loosing that bond when you love someone and they don’t love you back it’s must be very similar surely ?
Ryan is the absolute epitome of what heteronormative men should strive to be. So many queer folks, including myself, can relate to this experience. I am so glad you two found a way through this and can talk about it like this now. Thank you for having the courage and vulnerability to share this experience with all of us
So all straight guys should be the same?
@@renealexander2703I think they are referring more to the acceptance and understanding that Ryan showed rather than arguing that all heterosexual men should be carbon copies of Ryan.
@@josephsherby , true. But I think gay men should not tell their straight friends that they are in love with them. It's disrespectful when they already know that their friend is straight. It's like a straight man knowing that a woman is a lesbian but still confessing his feelings. It can be viewed as disrespectful to their sexual orientation. If gay men want to be respected for their sexual orientation, then you have to respect straight men's sexual orientation as well. They are not interested in men having romantic/sexual feelings for them. They want male friends who view them in a strictly platonic way, like a brother/sibling.
This is exactly what i went through a lot. The pushing away. The distance. The crying. The confessions. I felt this video so personally. This is beautiful.
Ryan seems really calming... It makes total sense he's a therapist, he just seems to know the right things to say... incredibly introspective as well.
Everyone needs a Ryan. Being a gay man myself the IMPACT of this video hit HARD because I think we all go through these things and WISH we all had a friend like Ryan. Thank for this video Brian.
This is THE most beautiful and honest video. I think people need to be able to have these hard conversations with someone that may not be in your life today, but was a huge part of who you've become. I hope I get the chance to do this one day. ❤
I mean, who's not gonna fall for Ryan, right? He's smart and his dept of understanding people is just adorable. He's a friend that every gay people would want and need. He is just effortlessly make you comfy with his words, that's very commendable of him. 😅
This was beautiful 🥹 I’m so glad you and Ryan are still good friends!
The world needs more TRUE FRIENDSHIPS AND LOVE like this! 🙏
Omg I’m in love with this man. He is so thoughtful, understanding and well-spoken. Brian, his wife, anyone is so lucky to have him in their life. Also I knewwww he was a therapist, this man’s energy there’s no way he wasn’t a psychologist, counsellor or therapist
😂
I’m extremely similar to him and nobody in real life seems to feel the same as you.
Your story can be turned into a movie!!!!! This is just incredible. I teared up till the end. What a beautiful friendship
24:45 “you are incredible, and whoever pushes you away just because you’re gay is too insecure and too afraid to know what they’re really missing”.
i had to go back three times for this to sink in. this whole story and conversation is incommensurably valuable and meaningful and inspiring, thank you both and PLEASE PROTECT BRIAN AT ALL COSTS
The level of understanding and how confident Ryan is with himself is admirable and very heartbreaking for anyone who’s fell in love with a friend like him because they’re such a beautiful and amazing person/people. We need more people like Ryan 💗
I’m sitting here crying after hearing this wonderful story. Ryan, you are a treasure! Thank you. The energy you put out into the world is desperately needed.
Why is everyone praising Ryan. We can also praise Ryan's friend 😊😊😊
This is what true friendship and allyship looks like. Love this conversation. So much to learn from this.
I fell in love with my closest guy friends, we called him camacho. We had cross country together, Fashion design, and 8th period our senior year. We literally spent so much time together, FaceTimed everyday, helping each other dress for school. It finally came to me that I might have feelings for him, so the night before we went on thanksgiving break I had sent him a text how I felt for him and that was the last time we ever spoke after he told me that he wouldn’t ever tell anyone what I told him. I still think about him to this day, but this video really did something to me for the better. Thank u ❤
RYAN IS not only FUCKING HOTTTTT but so kind and thoughtful and a beautiful soul. We need more people like him T-T
The unconditional love between them is truly remarkable and angelic!!!! I'm so happy and great for them!!!😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Kudos to both of them for being so brave to have this conversation in public
As a person who came out so late in life this story is one of the most moving things I have ever heard.
this made me cry this was beautiful brian
❤❤❤❤
The way you described every experience was exactly what I dealt with years ago it’s crazy.
I figured a lot of people would relate so I’m glad it connects ❤
@@BrianTerada the main difference is I never told him and that he ended up liking my best friend and she liked him too…yeah horrible combination from my perspective. Anyway, can’t wait for future videos! This one is definitely my favorite you’ve uploaded! Haven’t really seen much videos like this!
I had a Ryan in my life too. My coming out is pretty much the same story, only that the girl he was into was my best friend who wasn't into him. It was complicated, messy, and turbulent. But the two of them were the first people I came out to, the first people that accepted me, made space for me and listened to me pertinently despite me harbouring a lot of undeserved resentment towards him. It's a shame we drifted apart after I moved to another country. But I am forever grateful to him. I cried through this several times. This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story.
This should be a required video in every school and youth support group everywhere. This story will definitely save lives. Thank you both for taking us on your journey and showing the meaning of true friendship, understanding and love. God brought you together for a reason. I commend you gentlemen.
You are both brave to be so openly honest and vulnerable. This is such an important video for those of us who have lived through the same experiences. To anyone currently going though this, learn from your heartache and prepare for joy.
Prepare for joy, I love that.
I cannot thank you enough for sharing your story. I had a best friend for 11 years and sadly he just discarded me, made me feel worthless. After listening to this, I realized that people like Ryan exist albeit not in the great number that I would hope for. My former best friend simply did not have this level of emotional intelligence and patience. It's not a jab at him, he just couldn't understand and the reality is for many of us gay men we are paired with men who do not understand. I found this so healing and I'm so glad the two of you share such a strong and meaningful friendship.
I think straight men do understand. That's why they feel awkward. It's the way they feel about female friends.
@@renealexander2703 no it isnt. Hahah
Dont lie to him to make him feel better. Straight men have a harder time building friendship with woman because of sexual desires. Hard to call some one friend when you feel those things. Thats why straight men often say. I cant no be friends with woman. Even tho i foundation that bs
Can this be a series ? " The Confrontation"
Confront ex friends, ex Co workers, friends with unresolved issues, roommates, family members ect...
It's very therapeutic and inspiring. Thank you for this Brian
This was such an important video for not only the two of you, but for everyone who is currently going through this. The level of social intellect that you both shared with us is either a wake-up call for those of us that have "forgotten" what it was like to have gone through that kind of pain, to those of us that are currently going through it.
Thank you so much to the both of you for sharing that level of insight with us! It's truly inspirational.
That's why stay out and friend zone straight dudes before they could break your heart. It is not worth the time and the heart break. Don't invest on a dead investment.
I am speechless at the beauty of what I just saw. This is what true friendship looks like. This is what genuine love looks like. And this is the type of authentic relationship to which we should all aspire. Thanks to you both for sharing. And Ryan - oh, my goodness - so many people need a friend like you!
Brian i literally fell in love with my own Ryan , like thank you for putting this out. Makes me feel less alone. I can't express my gratitude.
I fell in love with my best friend too. We met when we were 14. I knew that he wasn't gay, and I didn't come out until I was 18. The difference in my situation is that he was a textbook narcissist who violently loved the attention that I gave him. He would lead me on to keep my attention focused on him because I gave him every bit of desparate adoration that he needed to keep his ego soothed and he didn't have to give me much in return, because even a crumb of acknowledgement was enough for me. He'd get physical with me and flirt just up until the point where a line would be crossed and would then stop. I didn't even realize that I was in what was effectively an abusive relationship for YEARS.
It wasn't until I was 30 YEARS OLD that I began to push away and move into my own lane, and he basically fell to pieces because he was no longer the biggest part of my world. He began to desperately try to give me more of what I wanted to keep me on the leash, but it was too late. I texted him one last time and told him that I never wanted to hear his voice or see his face again. I've been informed by mutual friends that he's been in a loveless marriage for years and has been miserable. He asks about me regularly, but all of our friends knew the situation between us and refuse to indulge him about what's going on with me.
It's odd now that he'd drop everything to have my influence back in his life, and I've never been happier. I don't look at the half of my life that I spent chasing him as a waste. It's a cautionary tale about the importance of self-respect and the importance of setting boundaries with people. I'm almost glad that he wasn't as considerate and empathetic as Ryan, because it would've been nearly impossible for me to break away.
wow.. I can def relate to having crushes on those kinds of narcissistic types who manipulate the situation to get their ego stroked. And then play all innocent like they didn’t do anything
This video was so comforting, I had a similar experience when I came out to my best friend and how much I loved him, and he took it pretty well, and we stayed friends for a very long time after that. I am still happy I came across such an understanding and healing friendship. It changed the way I pursued men, for sure.
Is crazy how most of us go through the same thing. Part of the journey. Thank you for the video
They both express themselves so eloquently and thoughtfully.
Wow this is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. We need more Ryan’s in our lives.
No wonder you fell in love with him. I just did. What a great video idea and how it could help so many young people struggling with coming out. I had such a hard time in college and I wish I had a friend like Ryan. He’s a beautiful soul and handsome too. We need him to be a spokesperson for us. If everyone could hear what he has to say, changes could be made.
okay, immediately oi was like, ''is Ryan a therapist?' and yes, yes he is. lol... but really, such a beautiful story, you have such a special friendship. Thankyou for sharing that. I'm so glad you're still friends to this day.
How can you not fall in love with Ryan.
And how lucky you were that you fell in love with Ryan.
Wish we all had a Ryan during those years of darkness and pain.
Ryan is light, warmth, comfort and the harbour away from the dark, cold, and angry sea in the middle of the night.
Ryan is such a jewel, you’re so lucky to have a friend in him
I met the first boy i would fall in love with in 1st grade. We were best friends all through grade school, and when i came out at 15, he beyond stood up for me - which just made it worse! We're in our 40's now and still best friends ❤
Can you imagine what a world we could live in if every gay child could have a father and a friend like Ryan?!
Brian, I cannot express how similar our life stories are. Listening to you share what you went through was so surreal.
I'm sure many people have had experiences like yours. It's just nice to see you out there expressing it, talking about it, and breaking down all the negative mentality that we've been through. As a fellow Oregonian, thank you.😊
That was such an incredible thing to watch. I wish we all had a Ryan in our life - that was a true friend in every sense of the word. So many times I was choking back tears having gone through a similar situation a couple of times, without the benefit of such an open and loving version. While I could totally identify with Brian's side of the story, I would love to hear more about Ryan's side, because honestly, looking back on my own experiences, I wasn't think about that other person other than how they were affecting me. I don't think I realized that before. I immediately assumed I was must have been so selfish, which is partly true, but I realized I was assuming they were unaffected, that my friendship with them was so insignificant and unimportant that while I was sitting in my pain, they had moved on without a care. I see now that might not have been the case at all. I never thought I would be hurting them. Interesting to consider all these years later.
Man...if only I had a friend as understanding as Ryan.
I'm probably the only one who doesn't find this so heartwarming. I think when you're deeply in love with someone, it's best to get distance from them or you won't ever move on. It seems like Brian hasn't moved on and is still in love with Ryan. It's a painful state to be in to be around someone you are in love with and can't be with. I don't think Ryan understands, and I'm not sure the endless talks they had for hours every day in college was actually healthy for Brian, it fucks with your head to have someone you are in love with want to be that close to you, but not want to express their love physically with you or actually be with you. I think Ryan is good at compartmentalizing and intellectualizing his feelings. I must be the only one irked by it rather than charmed by it.
Such a beautiful story, I really hope everyone had a friend like that in their own ones. I know I did, even in a small town in the Pacific Coast of Mexico.
This conversation is more than just worth sharing with every friend and family, as it opens so many dialogues we should all embrace, thank you both for opening your hearts and let us see it 🙌🏽
This video made me cry. The fact you both faced different challenges, confronted each other and grew, with him helping you be free and him having this experience he could learn from to help other people like you, felt like a story with a happy ending.
Thank you for this video. We need more people tell their story, both similar and different from yours.
I absolutely loved this story. Two remarkable men. Ryan was and is a wonderful friend…could NOT ask for a better human being than this. If the world had people like this everywhere, we would be a much better place. Bless them both 🌈
Such a friend you will find once in a lifetime - only if you are lucky enough. And Brian - you were very lucky.
This must be the greatest Friendship ever told, with both sides equally superior to the situation, manage their feelings , tending to the other one's needs. This is superb. I should be shared/presented academically, among theologians, it is admirable. Thank You for sharing this! You guys are beautiful, enlightened Souls!
I watched this at work and had to keep holding back the tears man - way way way way way too relatable to me
What a wonderful thing to share with us. A true loving friendship that transcends the typical stereotypes. Thanks for sharing.
I'm so incredibly lucky that I also had a friend like this, I was in love with him and when I ultimately confessed it to him he laughed and said he knew all along, we're still terrific friends!
Ryan is an AMAZING friend and I wish more people were like him! Thank you for being so understanding!! Thank you Brian for sharing your story! So happy for you and how you reclaimed your life!!! You do you boo!!
This absolutely touched my heart. It’s restored a little part of me that’s lost faith in people. You’re both brave and beautiful souls.
Wow, this video, this storyline, this interactions, and this whole 31:15 of just having to hear Brian and Ryan's story - its such a powerful, humbling and honestly a positive experience for me. Testament to the friendship and the journey of accepting and supporting each other through a dark time and at the same time, learning new lessons for the betterment of one's life. I think Ryan came into your life for this exact purpose. I'm glad I found this on my side recommendation. Made my day. All the best to you two - through the highs and lows of life's journey - be free! On a side note - Ryan mentioned many great quotes throughout the video. Very thoughtful.
Thank you for sharing a conversation that so many people would be desperate to have but don't know how to. It gives me an impression of what healthy healing in a difficult situation can look like.
How fortunate Brian was that Ryan is basically a natural-born therapist but above all, an unconditional friend.
Yeah. You were/are so blessed to have someone like him in your life. As much as we often wish our straight crushes could be lovers, a lot of us really just needed that one secure straight friend. I appreciate you both for this. When he said he wanted to fight anyone that pushed you away, the tears just started coming. I did not expect to be moved by this. I thought this was gonna be a juicy story, but it was more like therapy I didn't know I needed.
THANK YOU ✨
This is so incredible. Imagine if everyone had a person like Ryan in their life? Both of you are beautiful people
Ryan is like a black Pearl in life. It's a nice feeling when you realize you found one like him in your lifetime.
Wow. Ryan is an incredibly rare type of person. If you have someone like this in your life, I hope you value and cherish them. 💜💜💜
Brian I cant explain how much you talking about your experience helps educate me. These conversations are so important. Also just witnessing a friendship this special.
The feelings you described are the exact same I'm experiencing now. I fell in love with a straight friend too, and it's the worst pain I've ever felt. I confessed my feelings last month. It's such a dark place, you feel the whole world is turning you into a monster. And the powerful feeling of love becomes a weapon against you. Thank you for showing me it can get better, this couldn't have come at a better time
But why confess when you know they are straight?
What a beautiful story. Such a universal experience yet unique to the two of you. But no wonder you fell in love.
what I love most about Ryan is that he was gentle and kind enough, when you were in senior, to actually be able to be full-on yelled at by you and not taking it for himself. because he knew how alone all those months avoiding him and everything else must have felt for you, so he listened out of genuine love. I think it's one of my favourite videos ever
it also goes to show how it *is* possible to still be friends with someone you're in love with ❤
This video was so much more than I thought it was going to be by the title. I'm left with the overwhelming feeling that more good stories need to be told, and more good people need to be celebrated. I could talk to 10,000 people and not find someone as mature and wise as Ryan. As others have said, EQ through the roof. To be that grounded and secure in college. Wow. Actual hero. Platonic love without caveats. My heart wants to explode with how much I want there to be more of this in the world. It explains so much about Brian. Be good to people, because in doing so you're making people good down the line. Give people the validation, respect, and love they deserve, and they'll be able to give all of that to the next person. Huge hugs to both of these guys. I can honestly say I wish I had friends like them. My life would have been so different had I been loved like that.
This story is so important because the feeling and insecurities are so common amongst gay kids. We’re told what we are is shameful & wrong for our entire childhood and almost become unlovable because we can’t love ourselves. Ryan is the definition of an ally & I wish I had that outlet when I was younger. Thank you both for sharing ❤
What an incredible interview. The entire time I kept thinking that Ryan reminded me of Mr. Rogers. Very calm, loving and a great listener. Then to find out he's a therapist....OF COURSE HE IS. He's terrific. Brian, I don't know you but thank you sharing your truth, your journey. So, very powerful.
Thank you for sharing this conversation with us. I’m glad you guys still remained friends
This story should become a movie! I can relate to the feeling of being disgusting because of your sexuality and i’m sure that having good people to support you through this process is VERY important. Congratulations and thank you for sharing this amazing content.
Brian, you are incredibly lucky to have had such a devoted and loving friend (even if that wasn't what you wanted at first). The role that he played in your self-actualization is genuinely beautiful. More so than most, Ryan embodies what is supposed to be the true Christian mindset. Unconditional love, patience, and never passing judgement (or at least a capacity and willingness to forgive), even when he himself was hurting. I desperately wish that I had a Ryan when I was trying to navigate a very similar story to this one in my own life. I ultimately lost my faith, but I still value the morals at the core of my Christian upbringing. If we could only treat others the way we want to be treated, stories like this one might not have to happen with such heart-breaking frequency (though I'm glad that yours had a happy ending).
I came into this video expecting a lot of awkward tension and like uncomfortable conversations but this is honestly such a loving relashionship and its like inspirational.
The story of your friendship is absolutely heartwarming! And I LOLd when you mentioned Ryan is a marriage & family therapist bc hearing about his support for you was making me think wow he sounds like a therapist! 😂
Really sweet to see you both be so honest and raw with each other about the hurt and pain you both felt going through this experience, you're so lucky to have each other
dude how brave of you to dig into all of these feelings!!!! Bravo!!
I’m listening to this on National Coming Out day. I teared up with the letter you posted and how it was received. It is a tremendously scary thing for some of us. But what a relief! Hugs…
This was a fantastic, beautiful video!! If all of our straight crushes were like Ryan, we’d save so much money on therapy** just got to the end after writing this… makes sense!!
Hahaha I know I got lucky and had so much free therapy
this is such a beautiful video it had me tearing up 🥺 thank you for sharing y'alls story and thank god you were lucky enough to have a wonderful friend by your side!
Wow, my God I thought this was something I went through alone. And I didn’t. Thank you so much for sharing this, it’s a truly healing experience.
My friends name was Brandon. Our story was exactly the same as yours and Ryan’s. Until we went to the beach together with a group of our friends and we spent a week together sleeping in the same bed and cuddling and talking under the sheets. I tried to push him away during that time because I didn’t feel like he was being sensitive to my feelings (I had come out to him as bi several months prior). After that trip I decided it hurt too much to have him around so I told him we couldn’t be friends anymore. So much transpired after the fact and it hurt a lot. It destroyed our friendship. We were both at fault for several different reasons. But we’ve not spoken in years and I don’t think we ever will again.
Why is it okay for gay guys to dump straight friends but not okay for straight friends to dump gay friends?
This is the most meaningful, inspiring conversation I ever listened to. This is relatable to any person regardless of labels.
Not me crying in my room while watching this. This is so relatable as a gay guy raised in a very conservative Christian environment and falling in love with a straight guy. Only for me it leaves emotional trauma that lasts, up to this day I can’t even begin to open up myself to other people and make emotional connections without being afraid of literally everything.
Me too, except I got into a relationship with a guy from my youth group a couple of years ago. He told me he was bisexual, but now he's just trying to be straight and he has a bunch of toxic straight guy energy, just bleh🤮 long story short he kissed me in the church kitchen and I fell in love with him, but he ended up just using me for his own sexual needs. Today I still have to deal with him being around since it's our last year of high school youth group, and every time im around him i just feel the hatred. I hate having to deal with all this, it got me so messed up emotionally and mentally to this day.
@@therealpilgrimchildyou'll have much worse experience with gay guys than that. Try not to hate that guy. See what you've through as a lesson in life
@@therealpilgrimchild @bisnusboi3626 you'll have much worse experiences with gay guys than that. Try not to hate that guy. See what you've been through as a lesson in life
@@therealpilgrimchildyou'll have much worse experience with gay guys than that. Try not to hate that guy. See what you've through as a lesson in life
I am in the same boat. God bless
Oh dear Brian, no gay guy could ever blame you for falling for Ryan. He's good looking, charming, smart, understanding and got that calm soothing voice!
My first love was a straight guy in highschool. I was 17, gay, sad, and lonely, until I met him. I joined whatever activity he wanted to do and took all the chance I had to be with him. We were best friends for about a year. I can totally related to what you've been through, what a gay guy in closet would feel falling for his straight best friend. It hurt so much, even thinking about it nearly 30 years later.
It's so nice you guys are still friends. This is the first time I've watched your channel and I love it Brian. Thank you.
I had exactly the same experience at the same age at yours...
I feel every single moment you’ve through and you’re so lucky to have someone like him to understand you :)
this would give such a GREAT book. Your story is beautiful, I am so glad you are okay now.