I challenged her too much, very early. It meant I was discarded early, the cycle was short but intense. And I was left feeling guilty after being blamed. But I’ll never forget her reply when I caught her on tinder, “well I don’t need to talk to you anymore then.” Then the excuses came, but I found out more things eventually.
I was with her 34 years. Always treated me terrible but infidelity was never a thought. This is what kept me. The last 3 years she began to be a real dog in front of me and slowly the truth came out. I had be deceived the entire time. You're not alone. The only thing that can relieve our pain is the fact they usually die alone.
I had been with a borderline for 3 years and it ended badly. I was single for a year working on my healing and ended up with a dark triad personality so I was very aware that she was not someone to invest in and I had boundaries. After 4 and 1/2 months she used a last ditch effort to discard me but actually hoover me at the same time. I accepted the discard walked away and blocked her. Today is exactly 1 year and I have not spoken to her yet and have zero intentions to. I starved her out.
Dr Carter is awesome, I agree. I have realized that my mother has been very very controlling my whole life and me being a people pleaser I fallen many times into the lower level compliant role until recently where as a result of these kinds of videos and education, I decided to put some boundaries down and I experienced heavy rage. But I stuck to it and seeing where it goes, possibly going toward limited or no contact. Thanks for your videos, I have seen many on Narcissism and what I like is how you put the theories, concepts and examples all together in a complete picture. I always watch to the end to get the whole picture. Thank you for helping my life and grow, I'm trying to make positive change.
If it's your mother, they will disown you. I'm her only child and she disowned me 6 months before she died. The ULTIMATE control is money. Sooo relieved I no longer have to deal with this abuse again. She did some hoovering from the other side and I told her to get lost.
Your glasses are super cute! You are simply gorgeous inside and out! I listen to every video from you I can. U have such an economy of words and put things so well. You have helped me so much getting over my codependent tendencies and reject toxic people relationships and situations. Going over and over these ideas helps me keep them top of mind so I can remember to evaluate people that come into my life.. I just blocked my narcissistic ex of 4 years recently. I'm getting in shape getting my health better, enjoying friends and family and getting out of this house and traveling some too. Taking better care of myself thanks to your encouragement. He controlled me with isolation and covid helped him. Been working from home for 2 years now and he made sure we went nowhere at all together but especially not fun lol. I went by myself. Withholding sex, isolating, and threatening with his unstable emotions. He would come unglued often and always when something of substance was happening. Anyways thank you so much and keep up the good work!! I love yt heart and I can tell by the way you communicate that you are very intelligent. We are so blessed that you take all of the time to make these videos.
My big sister has massive control issues and strong vulnerable narcissistic tendencies. It is very good to listen to these type of videos. I am healthy and normal. 💓
My ex narc made me feel bad for following people on youtube that were into the things I was into. He was jealous of them getting my attention. But, it was perfectly okay for him to garner lots of attention from people he had access to in real life on the daily. His "friends". I didn't have access to any friends that were local to me.
exerting control on others generally comes from not able to deal with things on your own which creates an internal chaos,if you are peaceful inside there is no need for controlling others unless you never got to overcome your own insecurities,since insecurity itself comes from not working enough on yourself
I absolutely let my family controlled me and force to be what I should be in their head should be. I can be responsible without outright being forced to be. Trust and believe is a must with me not being push or to be forced against my will.
Great video, Kat (btw, you look wonderful in that purple!). I look forward to the upcoming videos that explore control more in depth. I've been thinking on the subject a lot lately and look forward to what you have to say.
My mother would become raged and beat me or kick me out, or call the cops, shame me, humiliate me, alienate me. Such evil. To this day I’m to blame, I was such a terrible child and still a terrible worthless piece of crap in her eyes. Thankful to TH-cam I caught on. No contact. But I should have went this way as a child.
Toxic people are going to take this advice and pervert it, it’s not specific enough. To tell someone “feel free to be you” if someone is a serial cheater and liar, their going to think they have a right to be and enjoy those activities. Be free to do what you want, same example….their hobby is cheating and lying. In their mind they should be free to do what they enjoy.
if they can't control you, first they will try to 'love bomb' you hopefully u will return to them. if love bomb fails, narc will control how others see you, smear campaign etc. just like little kid telling other kids not to play/talk to you Narc is fascinating people that couldn't mature mentally, filled with jealous juice and vengeance.
I don't want my mom in my life anymore! She is trying to evict me from my house that I own! Out of respect for the court I'd reply but she has no control of my homestead 90 miles away!!!
To anyone reading this in the future. It's all fine a good to do things you love, but if you're also actually in a relationship with someone. It's not controlling for them to say, Hey maybe you shouldn't be spending hours of your time each day with your 'friend'. That's showing a lack of respect, and it's entirely within reason for someone to ask for you to respect a relationship enough to tone down ties with people who you have invested huge amounts of time in, that's not your partner. Being a free spirit is one thing, Being a free spirit whilst also simultaneously being surrounded by Men who give you attention and time as a woman or vise versa is just looking for attention and emotional connection. It's actually considered cheating. If you need that sort of validation from multiple people, you shouldn't be in a commited relationship.
To be honest I wood think lies and control and women from 20 years that u don't want in your life trying to block your life and progression is the ultimate liberty I dont give a dam about van curse obssession attatchment pestering your life
The mechanism of control is indirect.. it's not blatant tat u can pick up.. it's slow n steady.. the way it's sustained is thru Gaslighting..n that's the worst part.. the Trance of Gaslighting is really the hardest to break out from.. it may take months.. but once you're done with the Narc.. your mind automatically Rejects the Gaslit Narrative.. all u must do then is stay calm n get rid of the brain 🧠 transplant of the narrative.. ✌️✌️
My narcisst neighbor try to control me, just to win competion against me 😂 but she never win to cotrol me with gossip 😂 now she wasting her time Day by Day on trying to controll shes yelling spreading rumors and gossip about me , now she has diebetes and her husband 😂 you know im laughing on them secretly 😂 im intentionaly make them feel they are feel behind 😂,
What about Guerilla pregnancies to destroy men's independence and entangle him into a web of obligations, problems and enormous selfsacrificial tunnel, ... ??? but to secure a ketch and life long financial Source. Once 2 + children are crying ... most $$$$$, hobbies, and free time and happiness is Out of the window.
What happens? They try to poke at you, trying to start a fight, get some reaction… They love positive as well as negative supply.
👍
Yes:)
He ACTUALLY told me that when he loves "something" he needs to control it.
I love how you living this active best life
I challenged her too much, very early. It meant I was discarded early, the cycle was short but intense. And I was left feeling guilty after being blamed. But I’ll never forget her reply when I caught her on tinder, “well I don’t need to talk to you anymore then.” Then the excuses came, but I found out more things eventually.
I was with her 34 years. Always treated me terrible but infidelity was never a thought. This is what kept me. The last 3 years she began to be a real dog in front of me and slowly the truth came out. I had be deceived the entire time. You're not alone. The only thing that can relieve our pain is the fact they usually die alone.
I had been with a borderline for 3 years and it ended badly. I was single for a year working on my healing and ended up with a dark triad personality so I was very aware that she was not someone to invest in and I had boundaries. After 4 and 1/2 months she used a last ditch effort to discard me but actually hoover me at the same time. I accepted the discard walked away and blocked her. Today is exactly 1 year and I have not spoken to her yet and have zero intentions to. I starved her out.
I love your videos. You teach people how to take charge and heal, and not dwell on being victims for the rest of our lives.
Dr Carter is awesome, I agree. I have realized that my mother has been very very controlling my whole life and me being a people pleaser I fallen many times into the lower level compliant role until recently where as a result of these kinds of videos and education, I decided to put some boundaries down and I experienced heavy rage. But I stuck to it and seeing where it goes, possibly going toward limited or no contact. Thanks for your videos, I have seen many on Narcissism and what I like is how you put the theories, concepts and examples all together in a complete picture. I always watch to the end to get the whole picture. Thank you for helping my life and grow, I'm trying to make positive change.
If it's your mother, they will disown you. I'm her only child and she disowned me 6 months before she died. The ULTIMATE control is money. Sooo relieved I no longer have to deal with this abuse again. She did some hoovering from the other side and I told her to get lost.
Your glasses are super cute! You are simply gorgeous inside and out!
I listen to every video from you I can. U have such an economy of words and put things so well. You have helped me so much getting over my codependent tendencies and reject toxic people relationships and situations. Going over and over these ideas helps me keep them top of mind so I can remember to evaluate people that come into my life..
I just blocked my narcissistic ex of 4 years recently.
I'm getting in shape getting my health better, enjoying friends and family and getting out of this house and traveling some too. Taking better care of myself thanks to your encouragement.
He controlled me with isolation and covid helped him. Been working from home for 2 years now and he made sure we went nowhere at all together but especially not fun lol. I went by myself. Withholding sex, isolating, and threatening with his unstable emotions. He would come unglued often and always when something of substance was happening.
Anyways thank you so much and keep up the good work!! I love yt heart and I can tell by the way you communicate that you are very intelligent. We are so blessed that you take all of the time to make these videos.
My big sister has massive control issues and strong vulnerable narcissistic tendencies. It is very good to listen to these type of videos. I am healthy and normal. 💓
Try saying agreed to disagree to a narcissist and see what happens 😆
My ex narc made me feel bad for following people on youtube that were into the things I was into. He was jealous of them getting my attention. But, it was perfectly okay for him to garner lots of attention from people he had access to in real life on the daily. His "friends". I didn't have access to any friends that were local to me.
exerting control on others generally comes from not able to deal with things on your own which creates an internal chaos,if you are peaceful inside there is no need for controlling others unless you never got to overcome your own insecurities,since insecurity itself comes from not working enough on yourself
That's right I agree.
thank you again. such good information. btw, your eyeglasses
are very pretty.
2:05 you're one of those good people. I like your personality, feeling free to be me around you.
Yes indeed - thanks for posting this!
Absolutely true. Good video and thank you
I absolutely let my family controlled me and force to be what I should be in their head should be. I can be responsible without outright being forced to be. Trust and believe is a must with me not being push or to be forced against my will.
Wow, perfect this is exactly what I was living in
Great video, Kat (btw, you look wonderful in that purple!). I look forward to the upcoming videos that explore control more in depth. I've been thinking on the subject a lot lately and look forward to what you have to say.
Literally needing permission to shower by the end of our relationship.
It's a game that they have to win. A covert narcissist told me that one day. Shocking!!! 😳😧😦😔
My mother would become raged and beat me or kick me out, or call the cops, shame me, humiliate me, alienate me.
Such evil.
To this day I’m to blame, I was such a terrible child and still a terrible worthless piece of crap in her eyes.
Thankful to TH-cam I caught on. No contact. But I should have went this way as a child.
Toxic people are going to take this advice and pervert it, it’s not specific enough. To tell someone “feel free to be you” if someone is a serial cheater and liar, their going to think they have a right to be and enjoy those activities. Be free to do what you want, same example….their hobby is cheating and lying. In their mind they should be free to do what they enjoy.
if they can't control you, first they will try to 'love bomb' you hopefully u will return to them. if love bomb fails, narc will control how others see you, smear campaign etc. just like little kid telling other kids not to play/talk to you Narc is fascinating people that couldn't mature mentally, filled with jealous juice and vengeance.
My ex narcissist is weird
I don't want my mom in my life anymore! She is trying to evict me from my house that I own! Out of respect for the court I'd reply but she has no control of my homestead 90 miles away!!!
She has no claim to OUR HOME!
To anyone reading this in the future. It's all fine a good to do things you love, but if you're also actually in a relationship with someone. It's not controlling for them to say, Hey maybe you shouldn't be spending hours of your time each day with your 'friend'. That's showing a lack of respect, and it's entirely within reason for someone to ask for you to respect a relationship enough to tone down ties with people who you have invested huge amounts of time in, that's not your partner.
Being a free spirit is one thing, Being a free spirit whilst also simultaneously being surrounded by Men who give you attention and time as a woman or vise versa is just looking for attention and emotional connection. It's actually considered cheating. If you need that sort of validation from multiple people, you shouldn't be in a commited relationship.
To be honest I wood think lies and control and women from 20 years that u don't want in your life trying to block your life and progression is the ultimate liberty I dont give a dam about van curse obssession attatchment pestering your life
The mechanism of control is indirect.. it's not blatant tat u can pick up.. it's slow n steady.. the way it's sustained is thru Gaslighting..n that's the worst part.. the Trance of Gaslighting is really the hardest to break out from.. it may take months.. but once you're done with the Narc.. your mind automatically Rejects the Gaslit Narrative.. all u must do then is stay calm n get rid of the brain 🧠 transplant of the narrative..
✌️✌️
My narcisst neighbor try to control me, just to win competion against me 😂 but she never win to cotrol me with gossip 😂 now she wasting her time Day by Day on trying to controll shes yelling spreading rumors and gossip about me , now she has diebetes and her husband 😂 you know im laughing on them secretly 😂 im intentionaly make them feel they are feel behind 😂,
Listen to the way i am by eminem its very relatable to these talks.
What about Guerilla pregnancies
to
destroy men's independence and entangle him into a web of obligations, problems and enormous
selfsacrificial tunnel, ... ??? but to secure a ketch and life long financial Source.
Once 2 + children are crying ... most $$$$$, hobbies, and free time and happiness is
Out of the window.
Would you consider commenting on Gabby Petito?
1:06 Yes
8:55 Yes
🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️