Why the empath falls for the narcissist: The attachment and energy exchange system
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.ย. 2024
- In this video I present a theory regarding the underlying mechanism that leads so many empaths to fall for the narcissist. Two core systems involved are the attachment and energy exchange systems. Watch to further deepen your understanding as I continue my analysis.
Abdul Saad
Clinical Psychologist
www.vitalmind.com.au
vitalpsych
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Please keep in mind the following when commenting:
I am unable to provide specific advice or a clinical opinion through the comments section. For this reason, please avoid giving specific details of your own personal history/struggles as I am unable to monitor how others respond to such comments. I am open to ideas and suggestions for future videos which may be relevant to a specific question you have in mind.
Vital Mind Psychology I really enjoy your videos Dr. Saad
I didn't even know what a empath or a narcissist was until I dated a woman that claimed to be an empath and insisted that I was a narcissist. This went on for a couple years until I finally started doing some research into it because the reality of the situation seemed to be the exact opposite of her claims...granted I would eventually lose my temper with her because she would create an imaginary enemy (me) and I would eventually freak out after her having a problem for every single solution. In turn making me look like the narc when she was scapegoating me to whomever would listen. There is a very interesting dynamic about how they can be the narc but make the empath out to seem like the narc to all those that will listen and fall for the manipulation of the facts.
I would like to see a video regarding post traumatic stress in empaths after narcissistic abuse. How to move past this......how to raise baseline levels of anxiety post narcissistic abuse....please.
@@justinduff979 I commend you one figuring this one out
As empaths in the beginning we do look for the best in the person however when we grow out of that mindset we start seeing the world as is.. an illusion is gone
‘Empaths have an attachment system that is very easily switched on.’ Great insight!
The word "parasitic" is spot on in describing the narcissist.
Yes, it is a parasitic symbiosis / attachment to its host (empath)
It's intriguing that the more I learn about narcissism, the more I seem to understand 'the state' (i.e. the men and women known as 'government').
After dating a couple of narcissists I learned I would rather be alone. It wasn't because I was smart about it. I simply could not survive with constant mind fu
G W wow what a great relationship when empaths get married its just pure harmony,peace and genuineness am also searching for a fellow empath
God bless you both. It's so heartening to know true, beautiful love and concern exists in romantic relationships. After 15 years of my marriage with a narc, I no longer know what a genuine, respectful give and take partnership means.
Dear Universe, i want an empathetic husband. I want someone who gives just as i give. Thank you!
@@wildangel4452 He's looking for you, just as you are looking for him. Blessings ☼
That is too funny! Am so glad you two found each other. Thank you for giving me hope. I, too, have relinquished the mindf*cks. xo
This is so good, I’m currently a PSYCH major and I know that I’m a empath and I attract multiple Narcissist individuals. Since I’ve been come aware of this, I’ve been changing my behavior and closing my self off more.
Sonya K Tv same discovery and same reaction here
Same!! We have to take responsibility for our role in what we're attracting and allowing. Once we learn our value we can learn boundaries to protect it. 💚
I am a massage therapist who is working towards eliminating my patterns of empathy, especially with my narcissistic mother. Great video's just wish I knew this a long time ago.
The time spent not knowing makes the awakening even more sweeter :)
This is why I am such a loving parent, I really go above and beyond to be an excellent mother. A nurturer, a teacher, a friend.
Wonderful 🙂
Awesome
Trumpet.... It shouldn't be a job to be a parent it should be enjoyed.
Dr Saad, is a very intelligent psychologist. Yes all your videos are of great value!!
Thanks. I'm leaving my 5 th narcissistic man. I'm finally understanding why and how they pick me. I'm getting wiser.
Good for you. It's been a year and I hope you are with a nice man, or happily single. I was married to a narcissist so I understand. I have a new motto -- if I'm attracted to a guy it's probably a red flag, haha.
I'm only attracted to narcissistic men. It's all I know. I don't know how to change who I'm attracted to.
@@SkyePhoenix, until you have more value for yourself you won't change that. You need to put yourself first and foremost. Start working on yourself more to feel more empowered and know you are worthy for someone that is just as giving as you are. They need to prove to you that they are real and authentic. I hope this helps. Much love.
Paulette
that is true for me too.
I now realise how pathetically dependent I am....chronically needing acceptance and love....it puts people off and I dont blame them.
I am attracted to church people in a dependent way as mostly they are loving and kind.....although many are jusgemental and this explains why I have so many problems at church.
I am trying to improve.....thank you Dr for these videos
Your videos are so amazing and helping me through some of the hardest times in my life!!!!!
id like to share a story that is a great example of how the narcissist confuses you and makes you feel like YOURE the one with lack of empathy.......In 2011 i was visiting Egypt and ended up in the middle of the Egyptian revolution....cell phones and internet were cut off, ATM machines were no longer working, and the airports were so flooded with people trying to get out of the country that i missed my flight.
February 6th was my sons birthday so i was dead set on making it back for his birthday.
I spent two days traveling to Cairo wont get into what i saw there but it was scary!
I finally was able to catch a flight to germany on the 5th and from there took a train to Holland (ten hrs).
I arrived at my sons birthday at my parents house and my sister asked what happened and i started telling my story.
My mother sat there rolling her eyes and sighing so i asked her what was wrong.
She told me what an incredible selfish person i was because this day was supposed to be about my son and here i was blabbing away about Egypt.
At 5 o clock she asked me if i didnt think it was time to leave as they were about to have dinner and hadnt counted on me to be there so i left....
I remember sitting in the train sobbing and kicking myself in the head for being such a selfish and self absorbed person and how come my mom was such a great parent while i was so selfish.
It took me 6 (!!!!) years and telling this story to a therapist to make me realize that her reaction wasnt good at all and not what a normal mother would have done.
Plsssss let this be a warning to everyone: what narcissists say can sound really logicial and altruistic from their side so pls pay close attention and keep asking yourself; what is a normal reaction in this situation and does it match what is really happening before you end up convincing yourself thst youre the one in the wrong.
Theyre geniuses of manipulation, dont let it happen to you!!!
Keep making these videos pls, theyre life savers!!!! xoxo
Why did you visit egypt without your son?Im a single mom who cannot fathom how you left your son with family for an excursion by yourself to return and talk abt yourself .🙄
Maybe the "energy exchange system" is better conceptualized in economic terms. Narcissists impose debts on their targets. They take from them. The victims act as if they are under obligation to the narcissist. When a child is deprived of normal healthy bonding with a parent or parents the child operates well into adulthood on a basis of being burdened with a deficit.
How many strings? Of what quality strings? Do the strings work in either direction? If not, what is the function of the unidirectionality? To my knowledge, no one else has applied an economic understanding to narcissistic personality disorder.
Yes,this is true.The deficit imposed on the child of a narc is that the child is burdened with never being able to live up to the narcs insatiable need for supply. Whatever the child learns to give, or what is stolen from the child , is never enough to quell, or heal the narc parents emotionally insatiable wound . The child is left with this debt of not-enoughness, of not being able to meet the narcissist need for supply ,which is inexhaustible, and follows them well into adulthood, a dept that can never be repaid and becomes reenacted in adult relationships.
Well put. This is why I reiterated and over again the only thing I owe is to myself to become a greater version of myself than yesterday. The world owes them nothing and neither do I.
Kevin Hornbuckle wow .now I get it. Thanks
Kevin Hornbuckle hmm well said.... impose debts. Thats a very good description of what happens
Can you please do a video on how Empaths can stop the energy flow, stop being attached to the narcissist, after they have been discarded. This would be so helpful :)
I wish I would have met a psychologist who was half as good as you in real life (I've known many down the years, professionally and as friends). This series has been a revelation: thought-provoking and expansive. I have not come across a more cogent and hard-hitting description of the narcissist-empath relationship as I have in this series. If you were in the USA I'm sure you'd have your own show on mainstream TV by now. Maybe you do in Australia! I wish you every success, God willing!
Really appreciate your focus on better structures for the empath, and not demonizing the narcissist - those films never help, but drain one further. This gives hope that positive action can be taken and empowers the empath to better action.
crshia so true! I find this channel so hopeful and I am learning so much already without feeling the victim but rather taking the control of my life!
I have always felt that I took on the energy of others and it has been to my detriment and one other psychologist I've seen told me to make a mental shield to let it bounce off me but I found that very difficult to do. I love your idea of porous energy field. That's exactly what it is. And especially the part about falling in love too quickly because we take in that energy and translate it as a deeper connection. I just thought that was my personality only and didn't realize it's an empath thing. I am going to have to be much more aware of that trait now in moving forward in my life to see this from others' perspective instead of just my own. So many great points you made!! I wish I had a psychologist like you here in the USA! Very few know anything about the narcissist empath relationship and refuse to regard it as such. It makes me feel good to be finally understood! Thank you! 😊
Wanted to share,
with you perhaps thinking of a mountain. Being the unmovable mountain to the narcarcist. Perhaps that is grey rocking. If you have trouble seeing a sheild in your minds eye. Think of a mountain you love. I enjoyed your comment 😊
Thank you. The biggest and deadliest danger is an employer with a narcissistic personality disorder and nearly 100% fluctuation rate.
on the flip side, when i think i was in the beginning of devalue stage the narc would accuse me of draining him, accuse me of being a negative person that there was something innately wrong with me and that im naturally negative person.
joan baczek no I am naturally positive and very happy and hyper and try to spread positivity then everybody throws their negativity at me which triggers my depressed low mode and that’s when I get very negative and start binge eating . I’m either very negative or very positive
Thank you, Abdul. Your wisdom, observations, insight and detailed explanations are most appreciated.
NARCISSISTS indeed see others as extensions of themselves. They are always concerned the reflection of what others do affects their image. Highly concerned about image.
Thank you so much for this. I was married for 22 years to a diagnosed narcissist and am now divorcing a covert narcissist after 3 years of marriage. I can see where my empathic abilities have added to my trauma. I really appreciate your giving us the tools to move forward in a positive way.
Thank you so much!!! Very very valuable information!!! It is very crucial for the empaths to understand how they are perceived by the narcissists and the things that we should do to make ourselves stronger and at the same time understand their destructive Characteristic patterns in order to protect ourselves... Thank you again!!!
Thank you for helping us 'empaths' know how we actually keep this unhealthy relationship going with a narcissist. I have just recently gone no contact with my ex and it doesn't bother him one bit because he has another supply who has no idea what she is up against sadly. I don't miss the negative energy I actually took on from being with him.
I am nearing the end of a third marriage, to a narcissist. I have forever wondered just what attracted me to them. Thank you for being here with support. So many things are becoming increasingly clear to me. I hope to make positive changes in my life and am grateful for this resource. God bless your work Doctor.
They are called "energy cords"...or in religion they call it " soul ties" unless you cut that cord with the narristist you'll always be attached.
I did a visual cutting of cord, then I visually threw it in the ocean for the sharks to eat.
M L P Skinner Absolutely cut and tied🙌🏽🤦🏽♀️ !!! Yet the narc hasn’t stopped trying too come around 🤦🏽♀️
How to? Please elaborate
I appreciate your approach, the way you explain the empath's responsibility to closely examine those attachments, increase awareness of setting proper boundaries, and consider the ways in which we assume too much. I feel you've explained in one video a concept that has taken me over two years of reading to only begin to grasp or understand. I have learned so much about the narcissist's behavior from many "anti" narcissist channels, an us vs them approach that demonizes the narcissist without much emphasis on the empath's behavior or role. I now understand that too often I have allowed negative people to drain me, ones who were not narcissists. While the attunement to others feelings has helped me much in my professional work, it has also hindered me in ways such as overstepping boundaries or assuming way too much. I can't wait for your next video on the keys. :)
Somebody's Falling Your comment was perfect! You articulated what I felt but couldn't get out. I am tired of giving so much attention to the narc. Now it's my turn. I need to learn about my flaws as an empath and how to be less gullible.
Somebody's Falling excellent comment- the thing most useful for me here is a point of view where the empath can learn how to choose NOT to be a victim. I am learning this now in my relationship with my boss. I am
becoming less 'hooked' into the dynamic. And looking for another job :0)
Dr. Saad, I very much appreciate your willingness and dedication to produce these videos! Thank you so much!! It is often very painful to be the only empath in a family. I welcome any thoughts about navigating the family dynamic when the key people are quite narcissistic and draining. One example: I was caring for my newborn granddaughter in my daughter's home. She and her husband both work, but they each have cameras in their offices to monitor care of the baby. Once when the baby was four months old, and asleep on her back, her room felt chilly, and I laid a light weight cotton blanket on her little legs-covering them from the knees down. They were terrified about SIDS, and I knew this. I also had a camera that I watched baby from when she was in her nursery. Immediately after they both saw this blanket, I was called and yelled at about it being on legs, and told to remove it!! When they got home from work, they began chastising and yelling at me. This was now FOUR times they had hammered at me about the blanket. I felt so hurt and demeaned, tears filled my eyes as I was listening to them. My daughter noticed my tears and said, "Why the dramatics??" I was so stunned and taken aback by this comment-and crushed beyond belief. They KNOW I would never let anything happen to the baby. My SIL told me I was the best with babies he'd ever seen. My daughter tells people I'm very nurturing and loving. I feel, somehow, there is a sense of jealousy they have about me, and how I manage life in the world. They rarely let me see the baby, and I'm now getting the silent treatment-ghosting. Coping suggestions would be great, because this is very hurtful and causing me significant pain. Thanks again!
Barb Nauman I get the silent treatment too. Very painful. I'm so sorry you're being hurt in this way. Keep trying to be there for the baby. If it wasn't for my Granny I'd be insane from the pain and bullsh!t I've been through. I'll be praying for you.
Lori Miller-thank you for your understanding words. About a year ago, I was in extreme pain about this entire situation. I have been learning all I can about this disorder, and now have a good understanding of what to expect. I feel much stronger and better prepared to deal with them. I'm glad you have great support from your Granny, and I'll be praying for you, as well! Blessings!
Research narcissism and how to deal with them.
As the mother, you are the key person in the family. I feel I'm the key person as the grandmother. My daughter would never clash with me about my care of her children even though she would like to. As an empath myself, I've learned to put up boundaries such that I would be willing to tell her to find others who would be willing to do the great things I do. The Children Cry for me because they're older now and she is outnumbered. I avoid confrontation with her because she is an excellent mother and excellent teacher as am I, but her husband exhibits tendencies that I will not tolerate simply because I am the key figure. I consider myself in charge. I pray that you can brace yourself because it is not an easy Road dealing with family.
my responses came from many years of growing up with narcissists and being married to a sociopath. I feel like I have healed considerably and can calmly throw down the gauntlet
@@GS-st9ns I agree. You have successfully mastered the art of laying down boundaries. I hope to get there sooner not later
Dear Dr. Saad, thank you so much for your excellent videos. They are very, very and very helpful. Could you please do a video relating to Narcissistic Mothers? Hugs from Brazil.
Vania Giordano - DITTO! Especially narcissistic mothers and their daughters..
Ms. Chris Cole Exactly!!! And especially, what is the reason of the narcissistic mothers being so cruel and envious of their daughters?
Hi! My daughter showed me the Inner Integration videos and has helped me a lot. I live with her grandma who is a very loved ,outgoing person but at home...
so, so hard to have even one fun and peaceful day.
This channel is amazing! It's great to hear a psychologist talk about narcissism AND empaths. Psychology has been mostly overrun by psychiatry. Taking a pill for every little hiccup seems lazy and irresponsible.
Indeed... However, you cannot find easily psychologists like Dr. Saad..
Hiya! :) I found you recently and been enjoying the narc/empath series. Keep up the great well thought out videos! :) This is very much me as I tend to "fall in love at first sight" and am very energetically open. I love that you're touching on the nuance of the energetic power play that occurs where the empath, sadly, is the one most drained in this type of bond 99% of the time. Imagine the chronic fatigue that causes us! I know I used to STAY constantly exhausted and am trying to watch my sleep habits more so I get as much sleep as humanely possible. Dealing with people absolutely sucks me dry to the point of now I will either 1.) actively walk away from negative people, 2.) go outside to get some emotional distance if there's a house or room full of people (even if it comes off as anti social), 3.) cut others off out of my life totally if I feel it's necessary or 4.) just emotionally check out around toxic people or people just dumping their problems out on me when at that particular moment all I want to do is rest and be left alone to recharge and not take on their crap. It's taken me a very long time (and a few too many narcs) to get to this point in my assertiveness and recovery process. I'm going to start formal counseling once I find a counselor or coach suited to me who takes my insurance. I research psychology/narcs/trauma and have been even way before I met my last most narcissistic ex. Which would make you think that I'd have learned my lesson way before that point but nope. I'm a slow learner when it comes to love and what's healthy versus dating the equivalent of a souless demons with a pitchfork and a devilishly crooked grin lmao It sounds cheesy and I kind of wish I was making it up but nope. Can't even make this stuff up if I tried.
All that being said have you heard of the 2018 Narcissism Convention and would you like to be involved potentially? You have a great take on narcs and empath relationships that might prove invaluable to someone who needs help and is going through the same situation. I've been accepted onto the committee but Andrew Benjamin from The Truth Hurts is organizing it. I'm just the eyes and ears and trying to help him rally a bit of support. If you need some time to think on it go right ahead. No rush. When you get ready search his YT channel to e-mail him directly for more info. Thanks:)
Narc Goggles b
Narc Goggles me too. I really dislike being a empath. Just about every person I encounter is toxic. And I can't figure out why. Is it that I'm not looking in the right areas for non toxic people? Or is this what's out there now in the world; a lot of messed up people!! and the narcs are in full swing all the way up to the politicians. It's everywhere. I don't quite understand why npd is so prevalent. I read 1-2% of population. Hardly!! I think not!! It's more like 70% toxic people and probably 50% are narcs on the high spectrum indicating the disorder. I have had to resort to simply not socializing anymore. It's exhausting. I think I meet a nice person then they open their mouth and out comes narc speak. Huge amount of mindless idiots these days everywhere. I need my own remote island. I'm tired of these narc creatures. Until society holds them accountable for their behavior, it won't change.
Hi Renegade :) I hear you and feel for you on so many levels and was shaking my head in agreement through out reading this well put comment. I know exactly how it feels because I experience it every day just like you do. As we allow the world to be more cynical, evil and toxic we perpetuate our own demise. And what can be divided can be conquered in the government's eyes. I know that sounds a bit conspiratorial but it's true. The battle lines are quite literally being drawn between good and evil. I mean think about it. Was narcissism or it's tendencies EVER as prevalent of an issue 40-50 years ago? Not really. You had your occasional narcs, serial killers and con men but now? We're churning them out or abusing each other to the point that we're literally re-making people's brain wiring due to trauma and turning them into hardened shells of people to cope with that hurt and stress which perpetuates? You guessed it. Narc tendencies. Now look at us in 2018: cynical selfish and sticking our faces in our phones while forgetting there are real people around us to the point that we've forgotten, collectively, how to even trust each other let alone have a real connection because real love hurts and if you've been hurt by 3 dickheads ghosting you on tinder then of course you're gonna become a little bit more distrusting and the problem continues to each and every other person you or those guys come into contact with. Narcissism is a contagion in and of itself. Sorry, went on a bit of a thinking tangent there. Lmfao Just a few somewhat related thoughts as to why we all are beginning to lack empathy on a wider scale.
Would you like to email me potentially to discuss empathy more thoroughly? It might be of some use because again I'm right with you on this. I also don't know what to do about my own empathy, and boundaries, half the time. Email my YT e-mail and then I'll be glad to give you my Narc Goggles e-mail address if you want (or Skype). Here to help :)
Also, it's not anything to do with you directly nor is it your "fault" and don't ever believe it. That's exactly what they want. Narcs want you to doubt yourself and believe it's you. That their abuse is somehow because you allowed it just by coming into contact with them or simply by existing you perpetuated your own abuse by proxy, etc. They hate your light and try to stomp it out. You're fine and they're the sick ones solely because they see you and all that love and empathy and seek to either destroy you or take advantage of that kindness any way they can. Even if that means stringing you along for years in a "relationship" or "friendship" giving you a trail of emotional breadcrumbs they'll do it (especially if you're good at stroking their ego and deal with their incessant BS then they really REALLY super duper "love" you).
I say all that to mean that they target *us. We have nothing* to *TRULY* do with it in the end because it's all a ploy to them. Another way to feed their ego. It's all a con and a game for them. They see people as chess pieces to move around and manipulate. Nothing more nothing less.
Hi Narc goggles, just read your comment like it wss written out of my life story. Every single bit just described me geees!i want to start on the path of recovery and i desperately need help.
As an empath, this helped me so much. Thank you, Dr Saad.
I appreciate you breaking down the dysfunctional dynamic between the empath & the narcissist relationship. Also, putting the focus on how the empathy can adopt healthier coping mechanisms, in such a professional manner. I am recently no contact with abusive family members, every day is a little easier, my health is improving & I am starting to feel joy again. I look forward to more in this series. Have you ever considered writing workbooks for those who have therapists who are not privy to these specific details for healing?
This is one of the best channels on NPD n Empaths. Thanks Dr. Saad.
Dr Saad, this is really important for mothers to know in pregnancy. Every mother must know this.
Brilliant and concise explanation of the dynamics. Thank-you so much for your great work, and bless you! You are helping so many people!
Brilliant! This is such a critical area to understand; the energetic structuring of the empath/narc dynamic. Excellent series of videos on this important topic.
Hello, Thank you for your work! I hope you will continue to talk about narcissism, codependence and empaths for a long time. Because it's a heavy worldwide problem and too many need this information to survive. And even to go in the direction of healing. Thank you for what you've already done.
It's my opinion based on observation and knowledge of both empaths and narcissists that genetics is largely and mistakenly overlooked when searching for the origins of personalities and personality disorders. One of my sons was obviously a deep empath from infancy, as an example.
I'm so glad to find your videos, and the comments are so helpful too. I'm an empath and have recently realized that I am surrounded by narcissists. I hope to find a way out soon now that I am aware of my role in this too.
Dr. Saad, Thank you for all the time and energy you have put into these videos. They are amazing helps. I believe it must be said that there can also be a tremendous amount of grief involved in this healing process. Some of us empaths may have identified for much of our lives as needing to help others to the extent it has been a deep-seated purpose of one's life. As a child of a narcissistic mother and heavily influenced by a narcissistic older brother, coming to terms with my own narcissism has been freeing but letting go of my need to fix others in the name of helping them has uprooted me completely. Make time and space for the grief, please. This work is easy to talk about but not as easily done.
Your content has made a difference in my life.
I am focusing on empath video's as to help me understand why my overthinking at the 2nd loss of the same covert narcissist is becoming chronic. I have gone into the 2nd cycle of the idealisation/devaluation/discard phase with my eyes wide open, and understand that time didn't pass as I kept bringing him to the present moment. And so I allowed him to come back into my life after a year. I really don't want him back this time, but I know I am beginning to understand this chronic overthinking is something that I developed in childhood. I had trauma after my dad walked out. and I set up a mantra that included this. I understand I have kind of twinned this mantra onto this partner and my previous partner who I had a fierce maternal/nurse syndrome with. I am meditating more but know he is going to come back, and I know that although it is a dysfunctional relationship, my mind feels still and calm when he is with me. The psycho spiritual relationship I completely understand, and although my ex is very resentful, bitter and sarcastic, sometimes even caustic. I know there is a spiritual element in him that I oppose and feel a lack of at the same time. I know that he resents me because I don't get upset at having very little. (materialistically), Yet I do get upset at how much he splurges, (on himself). I think there is a great shame element within us both that we don't communicate authentically and consciously (with anyone). I have been fortunate in that he has communicated his lack of empathy, love and the emptiness he has felt all his life. I originally started this "healing" journey purely to help him, (and I tried desperately/obsessively)
The journey has become re-routed as I learned for the first time of who I was, how I viewed myself, and the negative stories I told myself. I found with the energy exchange you talked about, I could cope with the 2nd time around, but what I also noticed, was that I allowed him to devalue me without saying a word. I devalued myself by accepting his choices silently. His style is not overt, but covert, and to the same extent it is also a self devaluing process as he has nothing in his life that he values. He walked away from everything, at least 4 x in his life.
He is a very shame based person that does suffer bouts of depression and powerlessness. His entitlement phases are his way of getting out of the hole, but if you crawled in there to help him, god help you, because he is not helping you out of it!
I hope this helps and doesn't offend, this is a 7 year interaction with very little relating. (with this man who I did marry) And a 3 year journey into healing, self discovery, soul searching and having a new awareness that I and we, are all spiritually connected. I did lose my connection as a child, and I know now through many sessions of group therapy, this is a common crisis in trauma and in this century of great changes. Dostoevsky, one of the greatest writers and social commenters of his time (AND this time it appears) prophesied this century to be one of "Spiritual Crisis."
Wow I really related with you here. Mine sounds like his twin. Thanks for posting.
I am an empath, and have been surrounded by narcissists all my life. I am wondering if being an empath could also be the cause of my being bullied at work in every one of my 18 jobs.
I believe so because I was bullied every where I worked.
I am a narcissist, and part of my "Why" is being bullied like you. Perhaps I am part empath also. I wish you great things, those of us who suffer bullies have especially tender hearts.
We are in a spirit world, it’s called gang stalking. Satan knows our weaknesses puts ppl in our path.
Alternative explanation: Empath = covert (vulnerable) narcissist with high tendency for interpersonal victimhood (feel sorry for me because I’m being bullied).
@@ofvictimsandvillains you're a nasty one. Get lost
You are really saving my life and those of my 3 children as well... thank you from the bottom of my heart for making these videos❤
Such an excellent explanatory style! Logical, sequential, comprehensive and so informative. Very beneficial. Thank you!
Because of my religious prejudice against new age concepts like "energy exchange", my first reaction to such talk as this was resistant...but i experienced all of what you described first hand. I do insist that there is a very strong spirit guiding the narcissist in most of what they do. I forgave the person- but not that "Jezebel" spirit. I believe anyone can change and heal- but that is God's department, not mine! Thank you for your deep insight. Wonderful!
That spirits name has all the narcissistic traiits. It's the Queen married to King Ahab of ancient Israel. Those evil spirits are alive and well today and operate in both sexes,, they are easily recognizable when referred to Queen Jezebel.
Daniel Hulse wow. I feel exactly the same way. You just gave me an idea. Forgive the person not the spirit. Powerful
Daniel, thank you for sharing this. I felt the same way about energy and psycological views. I m a christian and after doing missionary work for 20 years, (happy as a bird)had to go back home to live with my mother . I know, have seen , it is a warfare !
Our weapons are not carnal!
It is very good though to have our eyes openned to stratagies on how to deal with ' the narc' and at the same exact time fight for the Peace and Love of God :)
I wanted to say, i've taken a very deep dive into the this area, Type B personality disorders and empaths from many different highly regarded channels, and they are very informative , but I must say, i feel that you have emphasized key areas that have nailed it so perfectly in just a few videos, where as other channels i've gained understanding but over a longer period. You have managed to narrow in on everything I needed to know in a less heavy way of communicating it all, if that makes any sense, definitely well presented in everything i've seen so far , thankyou !
Thank you! Seems like not enough to say just 2 words.....but really THANK YOU! "Making sense" is my current goal and narcissists have been very hard to make sense of. Going to check out other videos!
Dr. Saad, thank you so very much for your clear, insightful, incisive, and intuitive comments. You are providing a rare and much-needed public service.
An empath, this is much needed information, and this knowledge may save my life. The key giveaway when meeting someone new: Are there photos of them all over their home?
All your videos are of great help, thank you. God bless you.
Abdul your assessment of an empath's pathological tendencies are bang on. Thank you for offering a balanced approach to the narc/empath relationship dynamics. I believe every relationship is 50/50. You are exposing the empath's 50% and this is rare to see. Keep it up.
Dear Dr. Saad, you are saving many souls. Thank you from depth of my heart for what you do. Thank you!
EXCELLENT. This dovetails perfectly with my personal work around the verbally abusive relationship. See the work of Patricia Evans. She lays out what a verbally abusive relationship looks like and how to leave it. You explain the dynamic, which is of empath/narcissist, and the genesis of each from early childhood. THANK YOU for clearing away some of the remaining fog that's been puzzling me about how I landed in such a dysfunctional situation!
I am so glad I found this channel!!!!!!!! After exploring many sites on this subject, Vital Mind Psychology excels🙌 This information fortifies me now to be a No Narcissists Zone. Thank you!
Thank you I never really understood the dynamic with my self in this intellectual way. Your video was very enlightening.
I never "fell" for the narcissist because I always knew there was something not right, something which felt false, but boy, I never guessed how damaging it would become. Boundaries were set, and then completely ignored. Continuously. Who flies across the country to visit you (the day of hurricane landfall) after you told them you aren't feeling well and would prefer they didn't? What a perfect strategy for a vampire to be invited in, you know, because how could I close the door in their face under those circumstances? I knew how to say no, and wasn't shy about it, but somehow they would just ignore me and I would give in, saying "What could be the harm? Little did I know. CPTSD is no joke. I've lost a year of my life, and what was left of my health. So I need and appreciate these videos you've made. What you said about empaths continuing to give energy after no contact is the case, but for me it's because I still can't believe what ultimately happened to me, not because I enjoy calling myself a victim. Just trying to move on, but I feel ruined.
thank you for sharing your knowledge its SO appreciated!!
Your a no BS dude... You genuinly want to show us how to stop being so vulnerable to toxic people....I thought at first you were a little bit insensitive but now i get it...Thank you...You have a new subscriber after a handful of videos.....Right On !!
This is great Dr Saad thank you very much for spending your time to create this.
wow, you definitely nailed the experiences I just went through this March through mid-June with a female 'narcissist' and I totally agree with your attachment theory from my direct experience...I can now see how meeting her and going through all of this is helping me to understand myself on levels I never knew existed. Thank you!!
I wish I knew this 40 years ago it would have saved me from a lot of pain. Finding out I'm an empath at 58 has explained my whole life and issues. These videos are remarkable and pitched at the right level so we can all understand. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the world these videos are indeed vital for empowering empaths.
Thank you. These videos have helped me greatly when it comes to moving onward with my life.
I literally cried throughout this entire video. I've never listened to anything that hit home like this, so I subscribed and will listen to all of your videos. I thought I was alone in how I felt. THANK YOU ❤
Outstanding information. Boy this is going to take alot of work as I will have to stop myself from doing what comes naturally every second.
You are the only one who openly speaks of the topic that others ask us to pay for. I've always heard it said that opposites attract, I'm thinking we listen to much to wrong type of people for information, from childhood. I'm convinced you have described my husband, and the distress I've felt in the last 7 years
Thank you sooo very much. You have been more helpful than any of the many others I have listened to. You actually give me a plan of action. May Allah continue to bless you!!
This insight is heaven sent.
thank you for these videos centering growth for empaths
As usual, spot on. I look forward to the next two videos you mentioned. I'm sure they will be a big help
Just recently realised I've been married to a narcissist for 28 years. I'm an empath and now it all makes sense! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us 😊
True. Spot on!!
I experienced someone who admitted to making me cry because "it felt good for him; whenever I was crying he felt loved/ that someone actually cared for him."
I have always been wary of people who crave pain since then.
Thank you! This actually explains so many things that have happened to me on so many levels. Because you are willing to talk about the "energy system" it's profound!
Thank you very much Dr. Saad for exploring this phenomenon not limited to psychology but also taking into account the metaphysical, giving us a far-reaching understanding that would be impossible if only the psychological was the primary focus. You have a deep understanding of the empath vs. the narcissist. that supersedes the level of victim. And I thank you for that. Yours are the best videos I have come across! Much appreciated.
This is absolute gold. Your effort is valuable to a lot of people. God bless you
Instantly subscribed. Sir, you are awesome. Thank you so much. I will watch and listen to all your work. It is rather like a personal consult.
I'm guilty. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to correct my mistakes.
This is amazing. So completely correct. This description is perfect to my experience. It is unbelievable how knowledgeable you are.
Do you know me? Because you described this empath perfectly. Can't be in crowds - too much energy drain. Thank you so much, Dr. Saad! May ALL be blessed
I noticed I have a very porous energy field and it is something I'm working on improving (by saying no, not interacting or giving too much). This video is excellent. What you described in your example sounded very familiar with a relationship I had with a few people in massage school. It felt like everyone (the energy suckers) spotted that I was empathic straight away. They were drawn to me for that reason and one tried to drain me, several others were content to use me. I didn't see it happening until I started saying "no" and was no longer in the environment. Such a great video with useful information. Thank you.
Being in the process of healing from narcissistic abuse and working towards divorce I totally agree with working at keeping your thoughts focused elsewhere. What probably makes divorce the hardest thing, in my case possibly, is that over 20+ years our lives on different levels have become intertwined and unraveling ourselves requires us to look not just on the superficial level but also awareness of the role that we both played subconsciously and consciously. On top of that, narcissistic people genuinely enjoy turmoil so having an amicable separation nearly or completely impossible because they are going to play on any weak place they find. I have personally found having extremely limited contact and reconnecting with people and activities that are healthier. I also lean on therapy and insights and thoughts on the dynamics of this subject such as you have offered. Again, thank you for publicly sharing.
You sir have been most helpful. I only recently discovered your channel and I am impressed. You have helped me understand more about myself within a few collective hours of your videos, than I could figure out with any introspection that I could muster within my 34 years. I ask you kindly and with respect to please keep making videos. Thank you again from a friend here in the states.
Thank you. With every video I watch from your series all these "lightbulb" thoughts run through my head. Bringing light to where there was none. I knew all along I am not what I've been told. Just didn't know WHY he couldn't see it........I FINALLY GET IT. Thank you thank you thank you.
Very insightful .When u have seen a family of malignant narcissistic people and sociopathic of very high intelligence and suffered beyond belief ,till your soul destroyed, no way back.
I think in different times of my life I have been both a narcissist and an empath! My caregiver when I was a child was a narcissist, a very attractive woman who easily manipulated men and others, my father was more the empathic type. As the onion rings began to come off, I became more like my father, due to recovery programs. I believe I came into this life to learn and grow in a spiritual journey. Duality exists in me, and I am projecting into the world my inner life. I am currently learning to be both taking care of myself and others through honest communication keeping boundaries, able to express authentic love and needs without giving up personal boundaries. A long hard journey.
I'm listening thoroughly till 7.36 min.
You've Really studied well, spot-on!
Due to your, and others videos, I clearly see how intense an impact a narcist van have on an empath's life.
Just to say thank you very much, I feel you are right, it's a much bigger picture than potentially wallowing in the bitchery and your practical advice to help build a conceptual framework for me as an exhausted empath has not only been a breath of fresh air, but invaluable.
Your videos are extremely insightful and shed new and different light on the empath/narcissist relationship. Thank you for all of this most helpful information. it is life changing!
Thank you. Some people just drain our enegy and leave us feeling like a flat battery. Your talks give understanding to those interactions. There's an old Aussie Army saying : "Nurse a MUG and he'll die in your arms". (Mug = an old colloquialism for a user who plays helpless, encourages your support, and can turn on you). Surely, that's how narcissists operate. Thank you again for your good work.
I absolutely LOVE your channel. I am an empath and I am so glad I found you. You are very knowledge and definitely know your stuff. Thank you for posting these video and providing us with invaluable advice. Keep up the good work as your words are powerful enough to change the lives of others for the better. God bless.
Your a wise man. Your efforts help thousands if not more. Thank you Sir. Classy stuff.
I am learning so much Valuable information from you. Thank you for making these videos -they are a great help to inform all of us who have found ourselves trapped in the snares of a Narcissist. Please continue to share your valuable insights, opinions and information about these Demons. Thank you again for being here on TH-cam.
Another great video Abdul.
Thank you for all your time and work producing all these videos, absolutely amazing and extremely helpful 😊
Thank you Mr/Dr Saad. I am following with easy understanding at 40's. I finally I relate to symptomatic, systematic, patterns. I can monitor or alter them as a process. I had not benefitted from pats on the back from other non specific therapy. I am grateful for this you share. If I can take more responsibility, I can feel more like a component using free will and not as a victim. I will follow to gain more understanding.
Thank you for these videos!!! This is exactly what I needed to hear, it explains what happens perfectly, and I'm so grateful you included the spiritual element.
Learned a lot. Thank you. I will look at all relationships differently. Love the references to the spiritual and energy portals.
This is spot on. It might interest you to know I have in fact developed mirror touch synesthesia, with a right anterior insular lesion. I’m the 50 year old daughter of a narcissist, and “feeding” mom was how I survived childhood. The energetic parasitism continues, even in no contact.
Thank you for another video full of information presented in a way that I can understand! This one seems to me to be so packed with important points that I am listening for the third time and doubt it will be the last.
Thank you, Dr. Saad, for helping me to understand myself as an empath, and to understand several toxic "friend" and co-worker relationships I've had over the years. It was truly a relief to me when I first discovered your videos.
By the way, you remind me a lot of my favorite detective, Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot.:) The way you explain things is a lot like him.
Blessings, and be well!