You ask if you’re behind in your experiences at your current age… Don’t ever stress or worry about that. Life is not a race. People’s life paths are not supposed to be copy/paste. That is a pressure society places on us, esp in our younger years, but as you get older, you realize those expectations are all bull. Every person is unique and so should be their experiences. In 10 years you’ll look back on your 20’s and wish you had been more lenient with yourself. Be easy and true to yourself and master this confidence and awareness as early in your life as you can. Letting go of those fears and worries and being patient and honest with yourself is SO freeing! 🙌🏼
This is all so true, and so important, and I wish I had someone to clue me in when I was in my 20s. I tormented myself constantly by comparing myself to other people and was miserable when I wish I’d just been enjoying my life. I finally entered my DGAF era at 40 and finally feel more or less at peace with myself and where I am in life. I wish everyone this freedom. As my husband always says “don’t should on yourself!” 😄
Very far behind. Being online from a young age has warped your sense of reality. The fact that you have not had a job yet is also very harmful to your development. You may think you're in a gold mine, pulling in money from making gossip videos, but it really isn't healthy for you. When you finally do have to enter the real world in a few more years, it's going to be much harder for you. And you will regret the things you have done recently.
I am most certainly not a hater. Adam is not at the start of his life. He's had a fake ID since age 13, and has been online well over a decade. He's actually an old pro, so clever that he can easily fool people into thinking he's innocent child. He is an adult man.
You’re definitely NOT behind for your age. You are much more mature than the majority of people your age. You are getting all of your life figured out (where to live, growing your business, making friends). When you do meet someone they are going to be extremely blessed to have someone so put together like you.
Honestly, dogs are a great ice breaker. Is there a park or a dog park that you can go to, where you can play with the dogs. It might be easier to strike up a conversation in a place like that because you know you have at least one thing in common... Your love of dogs. Also, while you are playing with the dogs you probably will feel more relaxed.
Despite the age difference between you and I, I really relate to this. I am 33 and I haven’t had time to foster a real romantic relationship because I was always doing school and uni and multiple jobs and lived between the UK and the USA and did a lot of stuff. I was a caretaker to both parents at one time (as an only child too). Then my mother died a year ago. Sometimes I feel like I “wasted” my prime and will never have those experiences, and other times I feel very young and at the beginning of a really journey. I think we all have very different paths. I resonate with the fact of not really continuously cultivating friendship groups and relationships… that’s something I wish I did more of.
It doesn’t sound like you wasted your time but I hear you. Taking care of your parents is honorable even though you had no siblings to share the responsibility, that’s very difficult. Losing your mother had to have been so painful and being the one left to help your dad, it sounds like. Give your self some huge brownie points and be proud of yourself. You’re still very young and things will work themselves out. Be looking for joy and you’ll find it. I just wanted to tell you that you’re not alone. Even being a stranger to you, I feel for you. Life is hard. We’re all struggling in some way. Everything will be okay. Hugs xx ❤
@@artgirl1212 thank you. It’s easy to feel behind when everyone else has their partners or spouses, kids (I don’t want kids but the fact I’m the only single person is wild) and it makes you feel like a left over a lot of times. I’m hoping I’ll know what it’s like one day to have someone, but I doubt at my age it’s gonna work out, especially now that I have to navigate stuff like surgery to prevent the same things that killed my mum. We all have huge backstories no one knows, and yet people feel like an authority to like judge us from one social media post, lol. Thank you for your kindness.
No day is a waste, the only requirement is to keep breathing 👊 You made a choice at that time, stand by it! Sometimes it can feel that we have lived our lives for others, I certainly have felt that way, but there's a lot of power in accepting that it was your choice all along. And now you can make a difference choice, if you want to ❤ No one is promised a life-long relationship, that's a matter of chance, and of consciously choosing to commit and work on it together. But nothing in life is promised, or preordained. I read a very powerful quote that stuck with me and it said that comparison with others is an act of violence against the self. You aren't falling behind, it's not possible to - You're just here, and existing, which is a miracle and a blessing and also very painful, confusing and terrifying 😂 lots of love mucker! ❤
@@AddiRockART You’re welcome and it’s nice of you to write back. Remember this- Live your life as the best YOU that you can be to continue discovering your creativity. I see you’re an artist like me. You know, it’s a gift. That will fulfill so much for you and hopefully 🙏 someone will want to join in on your life, if they’re lucky🥰. I really think there’s someone for everyone. You’re still so young. Embrace yourself and continue to help others. You’re gonna be fine. You will be.❤️
I can relate somewhat. I am 36 and have gone through infertility bc I’ve run out of time to have a baby. Had 2 miscarriages, one alone. I had just been having fun but did want a baby. I debated 12 years to try for kids. Everyone told me I didn’t want or need them, and that I loved school and was going to be a doctor. I’ve had to give up training after becoming a doctor to do IVF. I now have 1 embryo but am $21k in debt from one round of IVF alone. And now $500k from so much school. Looking back, I would do so much differently. I wouldn’t have listened to anyone. I’ve lived my life and have had my fun and school. Just ready to devote the rest of my life to a baby/child. I definitely agree with cultivating relationships. I kind of quit that after I was cheated on at 29. Also went through cancer. But def comparing myself to others destroys me. What is important to one person may not be to another, so it’s important to remember that we all have opinions based on our own experiences.
The robe, the tea, and the candle are a vibe. Everyone has a different life path, and you don't have to do or have any of the same experiences at a certain age as other people. Don't compare yourself because everyone is extremely different, and the pace at which we all do stuff is going to be different. You're not alone! You have your Muckers ❤
One of the hardest but most life-changing lesson I've learned is that you can't compare yourself with other people and get a fair comparison. Everyone starts at a different place, have different skills, experience different things and interact with different people every single day. Every single second of every person's life is a different path, and every one of those paths are valid. You may not be in a long-term relationship with a degree like your brothers, but you have your own accomplishments and achievements that your brothers/friends could never imagine (totally not dissing them - I'm sure they're fab). What you've done and the community you've made and the voices you've platformed has changed so many lives and it's all you. Comparing yourself to others is comparing apples to oranges - everyone has different experiences
As a mom of 4, who range from 24 - 36 (two by birth, two by fate and love) They are each individuals who may have some things in common but each grew at their own paces and with completely different outlooks and time stages for when things happen. I.e. oldest had a baby, married and divorced before 25. The youngest at 24 as of the 4th, well they are similar to you. Relating to feeling as though they miss out on some things but also ok with just themselves. (Anxiety has a bit to do with it as well as extreme bullying when very young.) Just remember, all of us are here to learn from each others differences, not by being like everyone else. It is how we grow as humans and some define themselves and know what they want early, while other wander, explore and change continually. We all need each other to be different to help balance things in a sense. If we were all on the same timeline and experiences in life, we would drive each other crazy and never have anything to be excited about or explore. How boring would that be? You are exactly where and when YOU should be. I am sure your family is so proud of you. You will create your new bubble soon.
I’m 23 and relate with the place you are mentally with growing up. As a wife with two young boys, it’s so fun to hear you share your experiences as single. I hope you continue to soak in each moment and enjoy it! When I’m lonely, It helps a lot to pursue new hobbies. It gets you out of that negative headspace while developing new skills.
Ugh, I live 2 hours away from Manc… I’d totally hang out with you if I lived closer! But you said it yourself… you’re having the same thoughts you had when you moved to Brighton. You will meet people! ☺️
Just go easy moving forward. Trust your instincts and keep eyes open for red flags. You will find your people. Go out into “the scene”. Lgbtqia+ bars and groups. Volunteer work. Look for your interests… theatre, art, music, uni for example. You’re bright young and handsome… you will attract people. It won’t take long. Best of luck!
❤ from Chicago. Moved from tha SF Bay Area in Nov '22 & kno ull be thriving b4 I've even unpack everything. You're a beast, u got this. You're Adam! Thx 4 inspiration!
I used to worry about this but opposite. At 25 I have had a child , been married, and been divorced. I always joke that im basically ready for my crazy cat lady era. Im watching a friend have my dream job and no kids. I'm at a place where im beginning to accept my life and understand that wherever you are. Thats where you should be. I was so stressed that I lived too fast but never considered that if it weren't for my experiences I wouldnt be me. I wouldnt have the beautiful relationship I have now. I wouldnt appreciate the small things. As previous people are stating its not a race. It is an experience.
you're living a very unique, creative and fulfilling life - blaze your own path because you are certainly not alone on this journey. you've experienced and done way way way more than I had at your age, and I'm incredibly stunted because of it and I'm now a very anxious and boring 32 year old lol you're doing fine - but it's an important life lesson to come to peace with being alone. like truly at peace with it, because there are many chapters in every person's life when they find themselves alone - and usually it's temporary, and no matter - it's okay.
You've experienced more in 21 years of life than I have in 40+ years. You've been around the world and back, you're finding success in a career. This in and of itself is more than I have done. More than so many of us have experienced in life. I know you worry, that's understandable and I know my opinion probably doesn't matter, but I think you'll do fine.
I still stand by what I said when you first moved into Brighton... Sign up to *Meetup* & start heading to events that take your fancy (heck, you can even make your OWN meetup group to try & take the lead in attracting the kind of people you're wanting) ❤ Also utilise the trial sessions & test out a bunch of *CoWorking Spaces* that have built in social nights etc, I believe 'Colony Piccadilly' or 'Old Grandpa Studios' may possibly be worth trying out? But honestly there's a BUNCH, just have a look & see which ones feel like a good fit 🌻 They're usually filled with creatives, & some are even dog friendly :-p Also the obvious stuff, like heading to a class you want to try (or various groups etc), you're going to laugh, but I can see you having a BALL at an *aerial silks or pole dancing class* (they're always the most interesting characters there!) - Or volunteering etc too... You tend to meet really kind people there 🌹 I volunteered on Christmas Day at a place that was giving free roast dinners to families in need, & met the best people ❤ (Same thing when I volunteered at a winery for bush fire cleanup when the 2020 fires happened here in Australia) There really is so many good people out there Adam, & you're so bloody lovable! You won't have any trouble, just as long as you put yourself out there in places where people are kind/welcoming/open to meeting folk themselves 🌹 I've moved countries/states/towns so many times this is sort of my forte :-p So give me a yell if I can help any more, it'd be a pleasure 🌈 But yeah, you'll be grand :-p Don't stress yourself too much, just settle in/find your rhythm 🌻
Sometimes, it does you some good to Analyze. Did I do this hard thing? Yes. Did I do this other hard thing? Yes. Well, then I guess I can keep doing these hard things. It kind of, boosts your confidence up a little bit. And I do that with my friends and S.O, too. Did this person stay a good person? Yes. So they will keep being a good person. I’m positive you’ll make friends, Adam.🙂 You have a magnetic energy. Sometimes it takes some adjustment. And getting comfortable with the change.
Adult relationships can be hard to find, true, but you have a plan and you approach the world openly. Start with that brochure the reception desk gave you, leash up the girls and check them out. Dogs are furry ice breakers, and your girls will love it. Those things you said about setting yourself up for failure are actually strategies that are setting yourself up for success. Boundaries and being safe are important. Communicating and enforcing your boundaries is healthy. It shows you have respect for yourself. That kind of confidence goes a long way in attracting good people and driving away the users who are looking for an easy target. You got this.
I feel you so much on all the things in this one! Recently moved into my own place and feeling lonely; never having much of a love life to compare to so much heartache in the world/queer culture; and wanting to be cool and friendly with everyone and anyone to a fault. It's not so much "I want everyone to like me" it's more "I don't want anyone to dislike me"... and IDK what that's about. Thank you for sharing so honestly... it's so helpful and interesting listening to you.
You have had the experiences that Adam McIntyre is supposed to have when you're supposed to have them, in order to become THE best Adam McIntyre from Derry, Ireland that you're supposed to be. I'm SUBSTANTIALLY older than you (half a century plus eight) and I have experienced the heartbreak and trauma that I was supposed to experience to get this far and become THE best Tracie Ford I can be. Give yourself a break. In the immortal words of P!nk: change those voices in your head, make them like you (worts and all) instead. Dear, you're a fuckin' perfect Adam McIntyre! ❤😄❤️🔥🤌🏽
I am so in love with your place. You've got this, Adam. Things will fall into place. It's so fantastic that you are able to fly straight to Derry. Woo hoo!
Adam, you are exactly where you should be. I don't usually comment but I just got back from my best friend since middle school's wedding and your words hit me so hard I shouted NO!!! at the screen. She hadn't had a "real" exclusive partner/relationship until almost 30, and seeing the kind of love they have is still making me sob weeks later. And! They met when she moved to a new city after having zero luck in her previous city for years. You are not beholden to any societal timelines (which are actually dictated by colonizers and capitalism, not by actual human needs, but I digress!!) and you are experiencing so many incredible things that a lot of people haven't experienced (including me in my mid 30s!) and may never in their lifetimes. Although I only "know" you parasocially, I can begin to see you truly laying those life foundations: living your truth with honesty at the forefront, understanding how to set the boundaries and expectations you need to feel good and safe, and understanding yourself-- that's what makes the love really come alive when you find it, because it'll be plussing YOU. Your life is yours darlin, and you are L-I-V-I-N-G. I hope you settle into your beautiful new apartment soon for this incredible new chapter. Keep doing things that scare you, you're right on time. Stay Safe
I am older but can relate. You are so young and have traveled so much more than me! You’ve seen a lot of the world and seem very successful. We are both extremely insightful and sentimental, as I saw in your video worried about moving. I am 36 and have gone through infertility bc I’ve run out of time to have a baby. Had 2 miscarriages, one alone. I had just been having fun but did want a baby. I debated 12 years to try for kids. Everyone told me I didn’t want or need them, and that I loved school and was going to be a doctor. I’ve had to give up training after becoming a doctor to do IVF. I now have 1 embryo but am $21k in debt from one round of IVF alone. And now $500k from so much school. Looking back, I would do so much differently. I wouldn’t have listened to anyone. I’ve lived my life and have had my fun and school. Just ready to devote the rest of my life to a baby/child. I definitely agree with cultivating relationships. I kind of quit that after I was cheated on at 29. Also went through cancer. But def comparing myself to others destroys me. What is important to one person may not be to another, so it’s important to remember that we all have opinions based on our own experiences.
And many people your age haven’t been fully financially independent, brave enough to move out on their own, responsible enough to do so…:we all experience things in our own time and when we’re meant to. You’re right where you’re supposed to be
A lot of the time I feel inadequate compared to most of the people I grew up/graduated with because everyone around seems to be moving forward with life (in terms of relationships/jobs/experience). I’m 23 and I have never had a relationship but that doesn’t mean I haven’t experienced utter heartbreak. Mine has just been more related to death and friendships ending. And I also experienced a lot at a very young age. And I have spent so long working on myself on the inside, that from an outward perspective I look like I haven’t moved in years. I constantly feel too old and too young to hang out with anyone of any age so it’s hard for me to make friends. (If this doesn’t relate or make sense, ignore me lol)
Honestly, i think that 21 is very different for each person. I was a new mom at that time. My brother just under me was in the military, and my youngest brother was going into the navy and getting married. I was a single mom at their age. It differs
When I was visiting Manchester (from abroad) I found it surprisingly easy to meet new people, including locals! They were willing to make recommendations and hang out. I was staying in a hostel so bopped around the surrounding area but found everyone there quite friendly and open - plus I believe I was 22 at the time and met a lot of people around my age. Perhaps you can also hang out around some travellers who are new to the city and looking to meet the locals? Just an idea! Wishing you luck in this new journey and I have full confidence that you will make new friends :)
I live in Brighton and yes! Very big party scene 😂 Set you boundaries Adam and use this as an opportunity to not compromise on your standards. Yes it’s easier to be a people pleaser. And yes, the fear of rejection is terrifying when your young and isolated. But you have experienced so much and are wise beyond your years. Have confidence in yourself, as your a wonderful person! Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. So don’t compromise and try to enjoy yourself
Adam you have so much wisdom and courage!!!! Because of your courage; you are helping other people to stand up and speak out on groomers!!!! Believe me, it happens a LOT, and most people don't even realize it until many years later. People NEED to know about these things, and they know that they can overcome these things.
‼️Speaking as a 50-year-old woman… Watching you because of the BS, has been incredible. Even though I’m a female, I can relate to you. I feel like I was a lot like you when I was younger when I was your age, please hear me out. I know that you’re worried and that’s to be understood, but you are so sweet and so friendly and doing so well for yourself. I think that you’re worrying about nothing. Don’t set yourself up for failure quit putting that into the environment into the world. You are amazing and somebody will be so blessed to have you in their life. you need to remind yourself of that every day. You can’t walk around sad or unconsciously, looking sad, and expect people to want to be your friend. You hold your head up high, you realize how important you are, and remind yourself of that every day! ❓How long did it take you to be settled in when you moved to Brighton ❓
You’re the same age as my oldest. Virtual hugs for you. Are there dog parks there? What about taking the pups out and meeting people that way? Total common ground. I’m from the states and we have dog parks here.
I'm going to be 21 in 24 days, and I've dealt with the constant feeling of feeling behind in life. I'm a full time college student and work part-time and I live with my parents still. Seeing so many people my age alone in their own apartments and being able to afford that life makes me cry constantly because I feel like I'm just not good enough and ill never be able to get where I want to be. I know it may not be the same situation that I relate to you on, but I definitely feel so far behind especially since I compare myself to others constantly especially those I watch on TH-cam. I just wish I could catch up you know, especially because all my friends and even my boyfriend live alone in their own apartments, and it just kills me not having that independence like everyone else my age.
I’m almost 20 and I definitely relate to feeling behind in life. I worry that I’m not independent enough or I rely too much on my parents but all the comments here saying it’s just not comparable to look at your life next to someone else’s are very true. It’s hard to get over that need to compare though.
It's natural to feel like you're behind. In many senses of course it's true.. There's only so much you can accomplish by the time you're 21 😉 and trust me- the feeling never goes away. I'm sitting here in my mid30s finding solace and validation from what you're sharing about moving. I've never moved away from home but in the coming months I'll be going 2000 miles away and I'm grappling with literally *everything* you mentioned. I hope you enjoy this next chapter of life. 🎉🎉🎉💓
Adam, you are doing brilliantly, acknowledging your stress and questioning everything. You will be better than fine, Manchester is a perfect choice. Believe: enjoy; live your life!
Sending you so much love during this transition period. It is always hard to move away and start anew. I recently moved out of my home state and home town and moved into a state I’ve never lived with no one except my in laws as family or friends around me. I’ve taken it as a new adventure in life and enjoying my quiet times to explore my new surroundings. Enjoy the ride Adam. You’re doing great ❤️
I spent all of my college years alone and not talking to anyone in my classes. After I left Year 11 my friend group shrank, suddenly it was just a handful of us, and throughout the entire time I was at sixth form I didn't make any new friends. As you said, I spent two years of my life sitting in the corners of rooms waiting for something to happen. It hurts.
I love that you’re talking through all of your thoughts. Remember, that life is not a race. Walk your unique path however you choose. You are allowed to feel lonely and feel like you’re not doing anything “right”. Change is hard. The unknown is scary. You will make friends and you will adjust, I promise. Keep talking to your camera in the meantime to get through this blah transition period. You’re doing great!
I think it's important to also remember that other people are lonely too. Going into a situation sensing that you are the only person who is going in alone can create so much fear, timidity, and an individuality complex. I don't know if that's how you feel but I know I feel like that constantly. I always feel like I'm intruding and I am so fearful of going places alone. But I am very self aware and when I am out the odd time with my friends or family, I will look around me and notice people who might seem lonely or down, or even those who don't, I notice myself laughing and carrying on and the feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction that I feel all the while. I know I can't be the only one. So when you see a group of friends carrying on, know they are individuals with depth searching for meaning. Having a couple people you hangout with doesn't mean you are fulfilled or couldn't use more meaningful friendships from new people.
First of all, thank you for being vulnerable about your feelings about growing up and feeling behind. I am currently 24, and I can relate to this so very much. The biggest thing I could say to you is that comparison is the thief of joy. You are doing just fine! Be gracious with yourself. At age 24, I still have no idea what I want for myself career wise after getting out of an almost 7-year relationship that took so much out of me and was so unhealthy. I still live at home and have had to deal with feeling behind in life. So the fact you even moved out at 18 and you are doing your thing on youtube (and doing it super well btw) 👏 You have so much to be proud of and just remember there is no guideline to how you have to live your life. We all have very different journeys, and it's okay if yours looks different than the societal norm. You are doing amazing, Adam. I just want to say I'm proud of you and where you are in life! ❤ Sending you all the love!
I am 36 and i can relate to what you're saying about allowing yourself to be in bad relationship/friendships and ignoring red flags. Actually til here recent i told myself i don't wanna do this anymore and hopefully i can hold myself to that as well. Its nice to hear someone can relate even tho the situations may be different and were far apart in age. But i hope you adjust just fine and meet great people. May take time but things will become more comfortable. Even at my age, chamge is scary and stressful! I HATE it so much. Never dealt with change well.
I feel you. I didn’t go to a traditional university and I feel like I missed out on so much. My friends are currently in college and I see them living life and it makes me feel so sad and regret not going off to school
My sister married her high school sweetheart and just celebrated her 10 yr anniversary. I didn't have my first kiss until 19, had lots of failed relationships, and now at 36 am finally about to get married. Life works out different for everyone, and sometimes it really sucks to feel behind, or want what others already have. But the good things are always worth the wait :) And I dare say you've done some things in your life your brothers will never do ;)
i just turned 22 recently and i completely feel you. our 20’s are gonna be the loneliest years. but i promise once you get settled and find some kind people to have around things will feel a little better. give it some time :) you got this!!! sending love adam
hey love, I’m 22 and am feeling the exact same way you’re feeling. I try to remind myself that there’s sooo much pressure put on us as young adults but the pressure is misplaced as we’re still coming into our own and learning valuable lessons. go at your own pace, and with what you’re comfortable with, especially with the move being so fresh. 🫶🫶🫶
Oh my god, I moved to a different country last week and I'm feeling the exact same (from the Netherlands to Germany) and I've been having a hard time and thinking if I made the wrong decision. I know a handful of people but don't want to be annoying and clingy and it's so hard to meet new people/make new friends. Thanks for this, it makes me feel a little less alone.
I’m just coming back to this video again to let you know this is my comfort video. I’m going through a transitional time in my life too and this makes me feel like I’m going through it with a friend. 💕
Hi Adam, speaking as a 21 y/o who currently lives in Manchester, please know that the city isn’t as big and daunting as it first seems. Your main areas for going out for food/drinks/shopping are Deansgate, the Northern Quarter, Oxford Road, and the city centre. All of these places are really close together (walking distance) and when you break the areas up like this you realise it’s not as big as it initially seems. They’re also nearby the two universities so there will be loads of people your age there who you could potentially meet. I really hope this move brings you happiness and I wish you and your pets the best of luck in your new adventure!
I really can relate to the age thoughts, because I have had a lot of them myself... It's easy to compare yourself to other people and think of life as it has a schedule... When you should have educated, work, family etc, but sometimes some of us get it in different orders. Maybe you have got a lot of the humanity and compassion experiences before other people etc. And maybe that will give you a lot of inner happiness in the long term and maybe other people can have that when they are older... I hope you understand what I try to say, but everyone is different and we all experience a lot of thing in other orders. But that can be just as good too 💕
very relatable feelings about being alone in a new place. the world is your oyster, I hope you’ll get into a nice groove soon. but don’t worry, you’re definitely not “alone” - i’m sure lots of people watching your videos feel the same way you do, and are supporting you from afar!
Wishing you the best experiences and lasting connections in Manchester. Even if it’s daunting right now, remember all things are temporary, so this unsettled feeling will fade. And there’s always things you could get involved with like volunteering, meetups, joining a club or group (purely for social reasons). Sending you all the luck! 💛
do not get caught up in relationships. honestly a great way to ruin your life. use caution. you’re very intelligent and sensible and obviously well brought up. my advice is drink less, get more sleep. don’t wreck your body. you are doing a fantastic job, you work very hard, you’ve been quite successful. look for like minded people. think of your interests and pursue them.
Finding friends is so scary I have trust issues from past friend groups I can’t be around people without thinking they’re talking about me behind my back
Very often I catch myself sort of mourning my youth because so much of it was taken by depression and panic disorder. I'm 28 now and I too struggle with birthdays and not being sure if I'm living what I'm supposed to be. But when you say that out loud you realise how stupid it sounds. You're living your best life Adam, as am I, in the ways that we could manage. I think being lonely as much as we are is very much a younger generations thing, we don't have the communities our parents and grandparents use to have and we tend to move places much more often. So don't worry too much about it, it's not a you problem. I'm sure Adele also had similar worries around this age, quarter life crisis is real lol ❤
You are doing great in life from what I can see. You are living on your own, taking care of 4 fur babies, making a steady income, etc. I on the other hand live with my mom at 37, live with my boyfriend (toxic relationship) on the weekends, not good with my money, etc etc. I could go on and on. You are seriously crushing life! ❤️❤️
I’ll be 35 in November and as someone who has been where you are- you are not behind. You also had the last few years in a pandemic that also changed the experience you’ve had at 18, 19 & 20 that Adele and folks my generation didn’t have go through in your “formative” years.
And I only had one long-term relationship when I was 18/19 before meeting my now-husband at 32. I dated and “messed around” but not as much as my friends and I’m grateful my experience was different but also don’t look back feeling bad. Of course, I’m also a cisgender heterosexual so there’s a difference there… but you’ll be just fine and look back to 21 without regrets for simply having a different experience. ❤
You've done more in your 21 years than I ever have in my 35 years so I'd say you're smashing it. I've never moved out of my hometown through fear and you've lived in 3 whole cities, on your own!!! You also have an awesome, well paid job that you love and you're your own boss. Smashing it. Friends will definitely come in time ❤ go easy on yourself!
You are living your best life at the pace you’ve created for yourself without even knowing it. Most people your age are still living at home because they haven’t enough money to leave and stay out in this world, right? So I think you’re doing great. Friends will come soon enough. You’re a good person. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Hey Adam, 30 year old with life experience and watcher since 2020. When I was ur age, I felt in such a rush to push relationships and friendships that were so awful for myself. Since I felt so lonely and and I just wanted to be in a first relationship and I felt like I needed friends to complete me, and I hated to be alone so much it made me depressed . So I didn’t feel lonely, me rushing for friends and company made me make some bad choices. I befriended toxic people and I was blind to it cause I’ve never been around those kinds of things and I force myself to like someone in the group who liked me who was so toxic. I was so desperate for friendship and relationships and now I look back and I wish I just stayed by myself and bettered myself and loved myself cause it’s traumatic. Once I gotten away and bettered myself and gotten so comfortable with myself and who I am and being alone and loving all the alone time, I eventually found the perfect person who is exactly like me. We are literally going to be together forever. I wished I never forced that stuff in the past because I feel like we grow at different rates, I should just never force it and friendships. I have great loving caring friends that will do anything for me like I would do for them and it’s wonderful. Took 30 years but it’s ok! That’s life. ❤️❤️ love you adam! Also if u wanna hang with friends, reach out cause u are never a burden. If u are, then are they actually ur friend? Just things to think about. You are worth it! ❤️❤️
I think a great way would be through Bonnie and dolly. The receptionists had all those dog friendly places they made in that pamphlet. Go to dog parks and the dog friendly places and I bet you'd meet people and have doggie play dates even!
Adam! Whatever you feel, feel it, but in 3 months there is routine, shit is familiar, you have a little territory already, you know places where NOT to go. 3 months. You're not allowed a mental breakdown in that time window with peace and love. Be patient. The feels will come but stuff settle when you just let the 3 months happen and the change stress drops around that point.
Oh sweetheart, I want to give you the biggest hug. I’m 28, and I often feel this way too. I think this is a feeling most of us or pretty much everyone feels at one point. But I want to reiterate that you are exactly where you are meant to be right now. I truly believe that each of us are in our own individual paths and comparison is the thief of joy. One day in three, five, or seven years, you will look back at this moment and realize how much things have changed and you will be shocked. One day at a time hun. 💕💕💕💖
Sweetheart, give yourself some grace. You've been so busy and although you know it's normal, the reality of your move is setting in. Please try not to over think things, breathe and take it one day at a time. You should be very proud of yourself. I admire that you always push yourself out of your comfort zone. But again, slow down, let life unfold organically. You've got this, babe! You're going to be just fine. Sending you so much love and support ❤💗💕
I've watched you before you moved to Brighton. I can't watch the drama on the main channel anymore only because I'm in a only peaceful striving point in my life, but I'm here for this channel. Our birthday is the same day 30 years apart, #notgrooming 🤣❤
Age does not matter I remember 10 yrs. Old breaking up with a boy. Look at your life you are a traveler. You have lived and experienced things that some grown adults have not experienced. I have never live anywhere but where I grew up. My mother has moved my sister died and my other two sisters live in a different state. There are different things going on in others lives. Don't compare yourself to anyone else we all will have different stories. No one is thesame. Or should have met A mile Stone in their lives. We all grow differently. Never compare your life to another. Just live! That is all. Take adventures, make mistakes. We all are different. Someone that has had slot of heartbreak just means that person loves hard you may not be looking for the one. Don't be hard on yourself! Live, take chances, go adventure the world. Make your life yours!
Your 20s are going to skip faster than you think, I promise you. I just turned 30 (oh no) on September 2nd and I can’t count how many mental breakdowns. But I swear, these will be the best times of your lives. Especially you threw yourself into the world on your own. You are going to great things, have a wonderful time, and I can’t wait to see how much the world has in store for you. Much love from Las Vegas, NV! (P.S. don’t come here.)
If you have any friends there, keep those friendships going. If they are your friends, they should be able to communicate if they feel like you are 'intruding' or something. People should be honest, especially with their friends. If I had a friend who was moving to a new place and didn't know anyone, it would not bother me for them to come along, because they are my friend! Maybe they will connect with some of my other friends, maybe they won't, but I'd still want them along because I care about them just as much as I care for my other friends. I'd hope they were making other efforts to find their way, for their own sake, but they need support in that, and hanging out with my friend group would also be a valid effort to do that. I understand where you are coming from, and at the same time, you need to remember that you are not a burden, it's a blessing for others to have you around and should take up space. Isolating yourself or fearing the space you take in people's lives will not benefit you or those friendships.
You talking about being on a different life path than the traditional path/ the path your brothers took is so helpful, because I've been feeling the same way since I graduated high school (I graduated early) and I keep feeling like I should be moving through life faster than I am, like I should already be in uni and have a job and such, and feeling like I've failed(?) Anyways long story short I just want to thank you for sharing the feeling of those struggles, and let you know that you're not alone in feeling that way
So excited to finally see ur place! Glad the move went well 🌞 please remember that if you show your view you will dox yourself. Regarding Adelle she is just a dramatic storyteller. Trust me you have experienced most of the things she was talking about, she just had a way of telling the story like Barnum and Bailey lol 🎵🎶🎶🎶
I think fear and a bit of anxiety it par for the course with a new move and new area. Focus on your loves and passions. Everyone lives differently. Age is literally a number, maturity comes as you grow. When you are in your right place you know because it feels like home.
I'm in my fifties and found were a mess. Just enjoy your twenties. You are an adult. There's no rules and no rush to any destination. What do you like to do that's not YT? You have to figure it out and it will fall into place. I moved from Dallas to Longview and wanted to know where my people were and finally found them. You will too.
You ask if you’re behind in your experiences at your current age… Don’t ever stress or worry about that. Life is not a race. People’s life paths are not supposed to be copy/paste. That is a pressure society places on us, esp in our younger years, but as you get older, you realize those expectations are all bull. Every person is unique and so should be their experiences. In 10 years you’ll look back on your 20’s and wish you had been more lenient with yourself. Be easy and true to yourself and master this confidence and awareness as early in your life as you can. Letting go of those fears and worries and being patient and honest with yourself is SO freeing! 🙌🏼
I needed to hear this ❤
This is all so true, and so important, and I wish I had someone to clue me in when I was in my 20s. I tormented myself constantly by comparing myself to other people and was miserable when I wish I’d just been enjoying my life. I finally entered my DGAF era at 40 and finally feel more or less at peace with myself and where I am in life. I wish everyone this freedom. As my husband always says “don’t should on yourself!” 😄
Very far behind. Being online from a young age has warped your sense of reality.
The fact that you have not had a job yet is also very harmful to your development. You may think you're in a gold mine, pulling in money from making gossip videos, but it really isn't healthy for you.
When you finally do have to enter the real world in a few more years, it's going to be much harder for you. And you will regret the things you have done recently.
dont listen to this person. they are a hater and you are a sweet kid just at the start of your life. you got this
I am most certainly not a hater.
Adam is not at the start of his life. He's had a fake ID since age 13, and has been online well over a decade. He's actually an old pro, so clever that he can easily fool people into thinking he's innocent child. He is an adult man.
You’re definitely NOT behind for your age. You are much more mature than the majority of people your age. You are getting all of your life figured out (where to live, growing your business, making friends). When you do meet someone they are going to be extremely blessed to have someone so put together like you.
100%
Honestly, dogs are a great ice breaker. Is there a park or a dog park that you can go to, where you can play with the dogs. It might be easier to strike up a conversation in a place like that because you know you have at least one thing in common... Your love of dogs. Also, while you are playing with the dogs you probably will feel more relaxed.
Despite the age difference between you and I, I really relate to this. I am 33 and I haven’t had time to foster a real romantic relationship because I was always doing school and uni and multiple jobs and lived between the UK and the USA and did a lot of stuff. I was a caretaker to both parents at one time (as an only child too). Then my mother died a year ago. Sometimes I feel like I “wasted” my prime and will never have those experiences, and other times I feel very young and at the beginning of a really journey. I think we all have very different paths. I resonate with the fact of not really continuously cultivating friendship groups and relationships… that’s something I wish I did more of.
It doesn’t sound like you wasted your time but I hear you. Taking care of your parents is honorable even though you had no siblings to share the responsibility, that’s very difficult. Losing your mother had to have been so painful and being the one left to help your dad, it sounds like.
Give your self some huge brownie points and be proud of yourself.
You’re still very young and things will work themselves out. Be looking for joy and you’ll find it. I just wanted to tell you that you’re not alone. Even being a stranger to you, I feel for you. Life is hard. We’re all struggling in some way. Everything will be okay. Hugs xx ❤
@@artgirl1212 thank you. It’s easy to feel behind when everyone else has their partners or spouses, kids (I don’t want kids but the fact I’m the only single person is wild) and it makes you feel like a left over a lot of times. I’m hoping I’ll know what it’s like one day to have someone, but I doubt at my age it’s gonna work out, especially now that I have to navigate stuff like surgery to prevent the same things that killed my mum. We all have huge backstories no one knows, and yet people feel like an authority to like judge us from one social media post, lol. Thank you for your kindness.
No day is a waste, the only requirement is to keep breathing 👊 You made a choice at that time, stand by it! Sometimes it can feel that we have lived our lives for others, I certainly have felt that way, but there's a lot of power in accepting that it was your choice all along. And now you can make a difference choice, if you want to ❤ No one is promised a life-long relationship, that's a matter of chance, and of consciously choosing to commit and work on it together. But nothing in life is promised, or preordained. I read a very powerful quote that stuck with me and it said that comparison with others is an act of violence against the self. You aren't falling behind, it's not possible to - You're just here, and existing, which is a miracle and a blessing and also very painful, confusing and terrifying 😂 lots of love mucker! ❤
@@AddiRockART You’re welcome and it’s nice of you to write back. Remember this- Live your life as the best YOU that you can be to continue discovering your creativity. I see you’re an artist like me. You know, it’s a gift. That will fulfill so much for you and hopefully 🙏 someone will want to join in on your life, if they’re lucky🥰. I really think there’s someone for everyone. You’re still so young. Embrace yourself and continue to help others. You’re gonna be fine. You will be.❤️
I can relate somewhat. I am 36 and have gone through infertility bc I’ve run out of time to have a baby. Had 2 miscarriages, one alone. I had just been having fun but did want a baby. I debated 12 years to try for kids. Everyone told me I didn’t want or need them, and that I loved school and was going to be a doctor. I’ve had to give up training after becoming a doctor to do IVF. I now have 1 embryo but am $21k in debt from one round of IVF alone. And now $500k from so much school. Looking back, I would do so much differently. I wouldn’t have listened to anyone. I’ve lived my life and have had my fun and school. Just ready to devote the rest of my life to a baby/child. I definitely agree with cultivating relationships. I kind of quit that after I was cheated on at 29. Also went through cancer. But def comparing myself to others destroys me. What is important to one person may not be to another, so it’s important to remember that we all have opinions based on our own experiences.
always light all the wicks, you're right Adam. Change is always stressful AF, take care of you, Mucker!
The robe, the tea, and the candle are a vibe. Everyone has a different life path, and you don't have to do or have any of the same experiences at a certain age as other people. Don't compare yourself because everyone is extremely different, and the pace at which we all do stuff is going to be different. You're not alone! You have your Muckers ❤
One of the hardest but most life-changing lesson I've learned is that you can't compare yourself with other people and get a fair comparison. Everyone starts at a different place, have different skills, experience different things and interact with different people every single day. Every single second of every person's life is a different path, and every one of those paths are valid. You may not be in a long-term relationship with a degree like your brothers, but you have your own accomplishments and achievements that your brothers/friends could never imagine (totally not dissing them - I'm sure they're fab). What you've done and the community you've made and the voices you've platformed has changed so many lives and it's all you. Comparing yourself to others is comparing apples to oranges - everyone has different experiences
As a mom of 4, who range from 24 - 36 (two by birth, two by fate and love) They are each individuals who may have some things in common but each grew at their own paces and with completely different outlooks and time stages for when things happen. I.e. oldest had a baby, married and divorced before 25. The youngest at 24 as of the 4th, well they are similar to you. Relating to feeling as though they miss out on some things but also ok with just themselves. (Anxiety has a bit to do with it as well as extreme bullying when very young.) Just remember, all of us are here to learn from each others differences, not by being like everyone else. It is how we grow as humans and some define themselves and know what they want early, while other wander, explore and change continually. We all need each other to be different to help balance things in a sense. If we were all on the same timeline and experiences in life, we would drive each other crazy and never have anything to be excited about or explore. How boring would that be? You are exactly where and when YOU should be. I am sure your family is so proud of you. You will create your new bubble soon.
I know Brighton; and Manchester somewhat. I hope its nice there! I would be missing Brighton 😕
Please do not worry one bit.
I'm probably older than your Grandmother & still experiencing new & exciting things every day.
Bet I’m older than you 😏
I’m 23 and relate with the place you are mentally with growing up. As a wife with two young boys, it’s so fun to hear you share your experiences as single. I hope you continue to soak in each moment and enjoy it! When I’m lonely, It helps a lot to pursue new hobbies. It gets you out of that negative headspace while developing new skills.
*... just follow where the energy leads you my friend... 💗*
Ugh, I live 2 hours away from Manc… I’d totally hang out with you if I lived closer! But you said it yourself… you’re having the same thoughts you had when you moved to Brighton. You will meet people! ☺️
Just go easy moving forward. Trust your instincts and keep eyes open for red flags. You will find your people. Go out into “the scene”. Lgbtqia+ bars and groups. Volunteer work. Look for your interests… theatre, art, music, uni for example. You’re bright young and handsome… you will attract people. It won’t take long. Best of luck!
❤ from Chicago. Moved from tha SF Bay Area in Nov '22 & kno ull be thriving b4 I've even unpack everything. You're a beast, u got this. You're Adam! Thx 4 inspiration!
As we age.. being selective with who we want to be friends with too is great. 👍 Quality over quantity. 😁
I know Change can be really difficult sometimes. The new place will feel like home before you know it!
Please remember that no matter what, you are loved, young man...chin up!!
I used to worry about this but opposite. At 25 I have had a child , been married, and been divorced. I always joke that im basically ready for my crazy cat lady era. Im watching a friend have my dream job and no kids. I'm at a place where im beginning to accept my life and understand that wherever you are. Thats where you should be. I was so stressed that I lived too fast but never considered that if it weren't for my experiences I wouldnt be me. I wouldnt have the beautiful relationship I have now. I wouldnt appreciate the small things. As previous people are stating its not a race. It is an experience.
you're living a very unique, creative and fulfilling life - blaze your own path because you are certainly not alone on this journey.
you've experienced and done way way way more than I had at your age, and I'm incredibly stunted because of it and I'm now a very anxious and boring 32 year old lol
you're doing fine - but it's an important life lesson to come to peace with being alone. like truly at peace with it, because there are many chapters in every person's life when they find themselves alone - and usually it's temporary, and no matter - it's okay.
You've experienced more in 21 years of life than I have in 40+ years. You've been around the world and back, you're finding success in a career. This in and of itself is more than I have done. More than so many of us have experienced in life. I know you worry, that's understandable and I know my opinion probably doesn't matter, but I think you'll do fine.
I still stand by what I said when you first moved into Brighton... Sign up to *Meetup* & start heading to events that take your fancy (heck, you can even make your OWN meetup group to try & take the lead in attracting the kind of people you're wanting) ❤ Also utilise the trial sessions & test out a bunch of *CoWorking Spaces* that have built in social nights etc, I believe 'Colony Piccadilly' or 'Old Grandpa Studios' may possibly be worth trying out? But honestly there's a BUNCH, just have a look & see which ones feel like a good fit 🌻 They're usually filled with creatives, & some are even dog friendly :-p
Also the obvious stuff, like heading to a class you want to try (or various groups etc), you're going to laugh, but I can see you having a BALL at an *aerial silks or pole dancing class* (they're always the most interesting characters there!) - Or volunteering etc too... You tend to meet really kind people there 🌹 I volunteered on Christmas Day at a place that was giving free roast dinners to families in need, & met the best people ❤ (Same thing when I volunteered at a winery for bush fire cleanup when the 2020 fires happened here in Australia)
There really is so many good people out there Adam, & you're so bloody lovable! You won't have any trouble, just as long as you put yourself out there in places where people are kind/welcoming/open to meeting folk themselves 🌹
I've moved countries/states/towns so many times this is sort of my forte :-p So give me a yell if I can help any more, it'd be a pleasure 🌈 But yeah, you'll be grand :-p Don't stress yourself too much, just settle in/find your rhythm 🌻
Sometimes, it does you some good to Analyze. Did I do this hard thing? Yes. Did I do this other hard thing? Yes. Well, then I guess I can keep doing these hard things. It kind of, boosts your confidence up a little bit. And I do that with my friends and S.O, too. Did this person stay a good person? Yes. So they will keep being a good person. I’m positive you’ll make friends, Adam.🙂 You have a magnetic energy. Sometimes it takes some adjustment. And getting comfortable with the change.
Adult relationships can be hard to find, true, but you have a plan and you approach the world openly. Start with that brochure the reception desk gave you, leash up the girls and check them out. Dogs are furry ice breakers, and your girls will love it. Those things you said about setting yourself up for failure are actually strategies that are setting yourself up for success. Boundaries and being safe are important. Communicating and enforcing your boundaries is healthy. It shows you have respect for yourself. That kind of confidence goes a long way in attracting good people and driving away the users who are looking for an easy target. You got this.
Amen to this !
I feel you so much on all the things in this one! Recently moved into my own place and feeling lonely; never having much of a love life to compare to so much heartache in the world/queer culture; and wanting to be cool and friendly with everyone and anyone to a fault. It's not so much "I want everyone to like me" it's more "I don't want anyone to dislike me"... and IDK what that's about. Thank you for sharing so honestly... it's so helpful and interesting listening to you.
same
You have had the experiences that Adam McIntyre is supposed to have when you're supposed to have them, in order to become THE best Adam McIntyre from Derry, Ireland that you're supposed to be.
I'm SUBSTANTIALLY older than you (half a century plus eight) and I have experienced the heartbreak and trauma that I was supposed to experience to get this far and become THE best Tracie Ford I can be.
Give yourself a break. In the immortal words of
P!nk: change those voices in your head, make them like you (worts and all) instead.
Dear, you're a fuckin' perfect Adam McIntyre! ❤😄❤️🔥🤌🏽
I am so in love with your place. You've got this, Adam. Things will fall into place. It's so fantastic that you are able to fly straight to Derry. Woo hoo!
Adam, you are exactly where you should be. I don't usually comment but I just got back from my best friend since middle school's wedding and your words hit me so hard I shouted NO!!! at the screen. She hadn't had a "real" exclusive partner/relationship until almost 30, and seeing the kind of love they have is still making me sob weeks later. And! They met when she moved to a new city after having zero luck in her previous city for years. You are not beholden to any societal timelines (which are actually dictated by colonizers and capitalism, not by actual human needs, but I digress!!) and you are experiencing so many incredible things that a lot of people haven't experienced (including me in my mid 30s!) and may never in their lifetimes. Although I only "know" you parasocially, I can begin to see you truly laying those life foundations: living your truth with honesty at the forefront, understanding how to set the boundaries and expectations you need to feel good and safe, and understanding yourself-- that's what makes the love really come alive when you find it, because it'll be plussing YOU. Your life is yours darlin, and you are L-I-V-I-N-G. I hope you settle into your beautiful new apartment soon for this incredible new chapter. Keep doing things that scare you, you're right on time. Stay Safe
I’m 37 and I will say that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be ❤
you NEED to smell pumpkin snickerdoodle from bbw, it is so divine.
As a 36yr old, don’t compare yourself and your life experiences to someone else’s. We’re all on our own path.
I remember when I was 22 and 22 by Taylor Swift was the theme song to plenty of nights out.
Idk if there is trivia nights at any pins but that’s how I met some friends that way.
I am older but can relate. You are so young and have traveled so much more than me! You’ve seen a lot of the world and seem very successful. We are both extremely insightful and sentimental, as I saw in your video worried about moving.
I am 36 and have gone through infertility bc I’ve run out of time to have a baby. Had 2 miscarriages, one alone. I had just been having fun but did want a baby. I debated 12 years to try for kids. Everyone told me I didn’t want or need them, and that I loved school and was going to be a doctor. I’ve had to give up training after becoming a doctor to do IVF. I now have 1 embryo but am $21k in debt from one round of IVF alone. And now $500k from so much school. Looking back, I would do so much differently. I wouldn’t have listened to anyone. I’ve lived my life and have had my fun and school. Just ready to devote the rest of my life to a baby/child. I definitely agree with cultivating relationships. I kind of quit that after I was cheated on at 29. Also went through cancer. But def comparing myself to others destroys me. What is important to one person may not be to another, so it’s important to remember that we all have opinions based on our own experiences.
wait I love this lil setup
And many people your age haven’t been fully financially independent, brave enough to move out on their own, responsible enough to do so…:we all experience things in our own time and when we’re meant to. You’re right where you’re supposed to be
A lot of the time I feel inadequate compared to most of the people I grew up/graduated with because everyone around seems to be moving forward with life (in terms of relationships/jobs/experience). I’m 23 and I have never had a relationship but that doesn’t mean I haven’t experienced utter heartbreak. Mine has just been more related to death and friendships ending. And I also experienced a lot at a very young age.
And I have spent so long working on myself on the inside, that from an outward perspective I look like I haven’t moved in years. I constantly feel too old and too young to hang out with anyone of any age so it’s hard for me to make friends. (If this doesn’t relate or make sense, ignore me lol)
Honestly, i think that 21 is very different for each person. I was a new mom at that time. My brother just under me was in the military, and my youngest brother was going into the navy and getting married. I was a single mom at their age. It differs
love the new place always will never forgot the old one :)
When I was visiting Manchester (from abroad) I found it surprisingly easy to meet new people, including locals! They were willing to make recommendations and hang out. I was staying in a hostel so bopped around the surrounding area but found everyone there quite friendly and open - plus I believe I was 22 at the time and met a lot of people around my age. Perhaps you can also hang out around some travellers who are new to the city and looking to meet the locals? Just an idea! Wishing you luck in this new journey and I have full confidence that you will make new friends :)
I live in Brighton and yes! Very big party scene 😂
Set you boundaries Adam and use this as an opportunity to not compromise on your standards. Yes it’s easier to be a people pleaser. And yes, the fear of rejection is terrifying when your young and isolated. But you have experienced so much and are wise beyond your years. Have confidence in yourself, as your a wonderful person! Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. So don’t compromise and try to enjoy yourself
Adam you have so much wisdom and courage!!!!
Because of your courage; you are helping other people to stand up and speak out on groomers!!!! Believe me, it happens a LOT, and most people don't even realize it until many years later.
People NEED to know about these things, and they know that they can overcome these things.
‼️Speaking as a 50-year-old woman… Watching you because of the BS, has been incredible. Even though I’m a female, I can relate to you. I feel like I was a lot like you when I was younger when I was your age, please hear me out. I know that you’re worried and that’s to be understood, but you are so sweet and so friendly and doing so well for yourself. I think that you’re worrying about nothing. Don’t set yourself up for failure quit putting that into the environment into the world. You are amazing and somebody will be so blessed to have you in their life. you need to remind yourself of that every day. You can’t walk around sad or unconsciously, looking sad, and expect people to want to be your friend. You hold your head up high, you realize how important you are, and remind yourself of that every day! ❓How long did it take you to be settled in when you moved to Brighton ❓
You’re the same age as my oldest. Virtual hugs for you. Are there dog parks there? What about taking the pups out and meeting people that way? Total common ground. I’m from the states and we have dog parks here.
I'm going to be 21 in 24 days, and I've dealt with the constant feeling of feeling behind in life. I'm a full time college student and work part-time and I live with my parents still. Seeing so many people my age alone in their own apartments and being able to afford that life makes me cry constantly because I feel like I'm just not good enough and ill never be able to get where I want to be. I know it may not be the same situation that I relate to you on, but I definitely feel so far behind especially since I compare myself to others constantly especially those I watch on TH-cam. I just wish I could catch up you know, especially because all my friends and even my boyfriend live alone in their own apartments, and it just kills me not having that independence like everyone else my age.
We’re here for you.
Lots of love from Australia adam ❤
I’m almost 20 and I definitely relate to feeling behind in life. I worry that I’m not independent enough or I rely too much on my parents but all the comments here saying it’s just not comparable to look at your life next to someone else’s are very true. It’s hard to get over that need to compare though.
moving is one of the top 5 most stressful life events. hope you're getting lots of rest! ❤
It's natural to feel like you're behind. In many senses of course it's true.. There's only so much you can accomplish by the time you're 21 😉 and trust me- the feeling never goes away. I'm sitting here in my mid30s finding solace and validation from what you're sharing about moving. I've never moved away from home but in the coming months I'll be going 2000 miles away and I'm grappling with literally *everything* you mentioned.
I hope you enjoy this next chapter of life. 🎉🎉🎉💓
Adam, you are doing brilliantly, acknowledging your stress and questioning everything. You will be better than fine, Manchester is a perfect choice. Believe: enjoy; live your life!
I paused this video 0:47 to make myself a nice drink so I could sip and listen. ❤
Sending you so much love during this transition period. It is always hard to move away and start anew. I recently moved out of my home state and home town and moved into a state I’ve never lived with no one except my in laws as family or friends around me. I’ve taken it as a new adventure in life and enjoying my quiet times to explore my new surroundings. Enjoy the ride Adam. You’re doing great ❤️
I spent all of my college years alone and not talking to anyone in my classes. After I left Year 11 my friend group shrank, suddenly it was just a handful of us, and throughout the entire time I was at sixth form I didn't make any new friends. As you said, I spent two years of my life sitting in the corners of rooms waiting for something to happen. It hurts.
I love that you’re talking through all of your thoughts. Remember, that life is not a race. Walk your unique path however you choose. You are allowed to feel lonely and feel like you’re not doing anything “right”. Change is hard. The unknown is scary. You will make friends and you will adjust, I promise. Keep talking to your camera in the meantime to get through this blah transition period. You’re doing great!
I think it's important to also remember that other people are lonely too. Going into a situation sensing that you are the only person who is going in alone can create so much fear, timidity, and an individuality complex. I don't know if that's how you feel but I know I feel like that constantly. I always feel like I'm intruding and I am so fearful of going places alone. But I am very self aware and when I am out the odd time with my friends or family, I will look around me and notice people who might seem lonely or down, or even those who don't, I notice myself laughing and carrying on and the feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction that I feel all the while. I know I can't be the only one. So when you see a group of friends carrying on, know they are individuals with depth searching for meaning. Having a couple people you hangout with doesn't mean you are fulfilled or couldn't use more meaningful friendships from new people.
Thank you for supporting Palestine Adam ❤️❤️ My support for you grows even stronger. Sending you so much love.
Go to Stitched Up in Manchester! My friend runs craft events there.
First of all, thank you for being vulnerable about your feelings about growing up and feeling behind. I am currently 24, and I can relate to this so very much. The biggest thing I could say to you is that comparison is the thief of joy. You are doing just fine! Be gracious with yourself. At age 24, I still have no idea what I want for myself career wise after getting out of an almost 7-year relationship that took so much out of me and was so unhealthy. I still live at home and have had to deal with feeling behind in life. So the fact you even moved out at 18 and you are doing your thing on youtube (and doing it super well btw) 👏 You have so much to be proud of and just remember there is no guideline to how you have to live your life. We all have very different journeys, and it's okay if yours looks different than the societal norm. You are doing amazing, Adam. I just want to say I'm proud of you and where you are in life! ❤ Sending you all the love!
Boundaries baby! You're allowed to have boundaries!
I am 36 and i can relate to what you're saying about allowing yourself to be in bad relationship/friendships and ignoring red flags. Actually til here recent i told myself i don't wanna do this anymore and hopefully i can hold myself to that as well. Its nice to hear someone can relate even tho the situations may be different and were far apart in age. But i hope you adjust just fine and meet great people. May take time but things will become more comfortable. Even at my age, chamge is scary and stressful! I HATE it so much. Never dealt with change well.
I feel you. I didn’t go to a traditional university and I feel like I missed out on so much. My friends are currently in college and I see them living life and it makes me feel so sad and regret not going off to school
My sister married her high school sweetheart and just celebrated her 10 yr anniversary. I didn't have my first kiss until 19, had lots of failed relationships, and now at 36 am finally about to get married.
Life works out different for everyone, and sometimes it really sucks to feel behind, or want what others already have. But the good things are always worth the wait :)
And I dare say you've done some things in your life your brothers will never do ;)
i just turned 22 recently and i completely feel you. our 20’s are gonna be the loneliest years. but i promise once you get settled and find some kind people to have around things will feel a little better. give it some time :) you got this!!! sending love adam
also don’t be so hard on yourself. you’re doing great sweetie
hey love, I’m 22 and am feeling the exact same way you’re feeling. I try to remind myself that there’s sooo much pressure put on us as young adults but the pressure is misplaced as we’re still coming into our own and learning valuable lessons. go at your own pace, and with what you’re comfortable with, especially with the move being so fresh. 🫶🫶🫶
Oh my god, I moved to a different country last week and I'm feeling the exact same (from the Netherlands to Germany) and I've been having a hard time and thinking if I made the wrong decision. I know a handful of people but don't want to be annoying and clingy and it's so hard to meet new people/make new friends. Thanks for this, it makes me feel a little less alone.
I’m just coming back to this video again to let you know this is my comfort video. I’m going through a transitional time in my life too and this makes me feel like I’m going through it with a friend. 💕
Hi Adam, speaking as a 21 y/o who currently lives in Manchester, please know that the city isn’t as big and daunting as it first seems. Your main areas for going out for food/drinks/shopping are Deansgate, the Northern Quarter, Oxford Road, and the city centre. All of these places are really close together (walking distance) and when you break the areas up like this you realise it’s not as big as it initially seems. They’re also nearby the two universities so there will be loads of people your age there who you could potentially meet. I really hope this move brings you happiness and I wish you and your pets the best of luck in your new adventure!
I really can relate to the age thoughts, because I have had a lot of them myself... It's easy to compare yourself to other people and think of life as it has a schedule... When you should have educated, work, family etc, but sometimes some of us get it in different orders. Maybe you have got a lot of the humanity and compassion experiences before other people etc. And maybe that will give you a lot of inner happiness in the long term and maybe other people can have that when they are older... I hope you understand what I try to say, but everyone is different and we all experience a lot of thing in other orders. But that can be just as good too 💕
My dear sweetheart, I think your amazing person thanks a million for all you do for me baby 👶 😘 ❤️ 💕
very relatable feelings about being alone in a new place. the world is your oyster, I hope you’ll get into a nice groove soon. but don’t worry, you’re definitely not “alone” - i’m sure lots of people watching your videos feel the same way you do, and are supporting you from afar!
Wishing you the best experiences and lasting connections in Manchester. Even if it’s daunting right now, remember all things are temporary, so this unsettled feeling will fade. And there’s always things you could get involved with like volunteering, meetups, joining a club or group (purely for social reasons). Sending you all the luck! 💛
I didnt experience real love until later in my 20s and i felt behind. But upon reflection im glad everything took longer.
from one candle connoisseur to another: life is too short to take things one wick at a time
Pumpkin clove is my all time favorite candle!!! It’s so good!
do not get caught up
in relationships. honestly a great way to ruin your life. use caution. you’re very intelligent and sensible and obviously well brought up. my advice is drink less, get more sleep. don’t wreck your body. you are doing a fantastic job, you work very hard, you’ve been quite successful. look for like minded people. think of your interests and pursue them.
Finding friends is so scary I have trust issues from past friend groups I can’t be around people without thinking they’re talking about me behind my back
Very often I catch myself sort of mourning my youth because so much of it was taken by depression and panic disorder. I'm 28 now and I too struggle with birthdays and not being sure if I'm living what I'm supposed to be. But when you say that out loud you realise how stupid it sounds. You're living your best life Adam, as am I, in the ways that we could manage. I think being lonely as much as we are is very much a younger generations thing, we don't have the communities our parents and grandparents use to have and we tend to move places much more often. So don't worry too much about it, it's not a you problem. I'm sure Adele also had similar worries around this age, quarter life crisis is real lol ❤
I will be 34 on the 24th, same bday and year as pewdiepie, take life at your own pace. You have all the time in the world!
You are doing great in life from what I can see. You are living on your own, taking care of 4 fur babies, making a steady income, etc.
I on the other hand live with my mom at 37, live with my boyfriend (toxic relationship) on the weekends, not good with my money, etc etc. I could go on and on.
You are seriously crushing life! ❤️❤️
Girl I feel you! I HATE change. Change is uncomfortable and unknown. I know you'll do good here tho.
I’ll be 35 in November and as someone who has been where you are- you are not behind. You also had the last few years in a pandemic that also changed the experience you’ve had at 18, 19 & 20 that Adele and folks my generation didn’t have go through in your “formative” years.
And I only had one long-term relationship when I was 18/19 before meeting my now-husband at 32. I dated and “messed around” but not as much as my friends and I’m grateful my experience was different but also don’t look back feeling bad. Of course, I’m also a cisgender heterosexual so there’s a difference there… but you’ll be just fine and look back to 21 without regrets for simply having a different experience. ❤
You've done more in your 21 years than I ever have in my 35 years so I'd say you're smashing it.
I've never moved out of my hometown through fear and you've lived in 3 whole cities, on your own!!! You also have an awesome, well paid job that you love and you're your own boss.
Smashing it.
Friends will definitely come in time ❤ go easy on yourself!
You are living your best life at the pace you’ve created for yourself without even knowing it. Most people your age are still living at home because they haven’t enough money to leave and stay out in this world, right? So I think you’re doing great. Friends will come soon enough. You’re a good person. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Hey Adam, 30 year old with life experience and watcher since 2020. When I was ur age, I felt in such a rush to push relationships and friendships that were so awful for myself. Since I felt so lonely and and I just wanted to be in a first relationship and I felt like I needed friends to complete me, and I hated to be alone so much it made me depressed . So I didn’t feel lonely, me rushing for friends and company made me make some bad choices. I befriended toxic people and I was blind to it cause I’ve never been around those kinds of things and I force myself to like someone in the group who liked me who was so toxic. I was so desperate for friendship and relationships and now I look back and I wish I just stayed by myself and bettered myself and loved myself cause it’s traumatic. Once I gotten away and bettered myself and gotten so comfortable with myself and who I am and being alone and loving all the alone time, I eventually found the perfect person who is exactly like me. We are literally going to be together forever. I wished I never forced that stuff in the past because I feel like we grow at different rates, I should just never force it and friendships. I have great loving caring friends that will do anything for me like I would do for them and it’s wonderful. Took 30 years but it’s ok! That’s life. ❤️❤️ love you adam! Also if u wanna hang with friends, reach out cause u are never a burden. If u are, then are they actually ur friend? Just things to think about. You are worth it! ❤️❤️
I think a great way would be through Bonnie and dolly. The receptionists had all those dog friendly places they made in that pamphlet. Go to dog parks and the dog friendly places and I bet you'd meet people and have doggie play dates even!
Adam! Whatever you feel, feel it, but in 3 months there is routine, shit is familiar, you have a little territory already, you know places where NOT to go. 3 months. You're not allowed a mental breakdown in that time window with peace and love. Be patient. The feels will come but stuff settle when you just let the 3 months happen and the change stress drops around that point.
Oh sweetheart, I want to give you the biggest hug. I’m 28, and I often feel this way too. I think this is a feeling most of us or pretty much everyone feels at one point. But I want to reiterate that you are exactly where you are meant to be right now. I truly believe that each of us are in our own individual paths and comparison is the thief of joy. One day in three, five, or seven years, you will look back at this moment and realize how much things have changed and you will be shocked. One day at a time hun. 💕💕💕💖
Adam, I can relate to feeling behind and I'm 25. There's so much pressure.
Sweetheart, give yourself some grace. You've been so busy and although you know it's normal, the reality of your move is setting in. Please try not to over think things, breathe and take it one day at a time. You should be very proud of yourself. I admire that you always push yourself out of your comfort zone. But again, slow down, let life unfold organically. You've got this, babe! You're going to be just fine. Sending you so much love and support ❤💗💕
I've watched you before you moved to Brighton. I can't watch the drama on the main channel anymore only because I'm in a only peaceful striving point in my life, but I'm here for this channel. Our birthday is the same day 30 years apart, #notgrooming 🤣❤
Age does not matter I remember 10 yrs. Old breaking up with a boy. Look at your life you are a traveler. You have lived and experienced things that some grown adults have not experienced. I have never live anywhere but where I grew up. My mother has moved my sister died and my other two sisters live in a different state. There are different things going on in others lives. Don't compare yourself to anyone else we all will have different stories. No one is thesame. Or should have met A mile Stone in their lives. We all grow differently. Never compare your life to another. Just live! That is all. Take adventures, make mistakes. We all are different. Someone that has had slot of heartbreak just means that person loves hard you may not be looking for the one. Don't be hard on yourself! Live, take chances, go adventure the world. Make your life yours!
Your 20s are going to skip faster than you think, I promise you. I just turned 30 (oh no) on September 2nd and I can’t count how many mental breakdowns. But I swear, these will be the best times of your lives. Especially you threw yourself into the world on your own. You are going to great things, have a wonderful time, and I can’t wait to see how much the world has in store for you. Much love from Las Vegas, NV! (P.S. don’t come here.)
Good luck in Manchester :) good luck with putting yourself out there and letting your guard down and meeting people!
If you have any friends there, keep those friendships going. If they are your friends, they should be able to communicate if they feel like you are 'intruding' or something. People should be honest, especially with their friends. If I had a friend who was moving to a new place and didn't know anyone, it would not bother me for them to come along, because they are my friend! Maybe they will connect with some of my other friends, maybe they won't, but I'd still want them along because I care about them just as much as I care for my other friends. I'd hope they were making other efforts to find their way, for their own sake, but they need support in that, and hanging out with my friend group would also be a valid effort to do that. I understand where you are coming from, and at the same time, you need to remember that you are not a burden, it's a blessing for others to have you around and should take up space. Isolating yourself or fearing the space you take in people's lives will not benefit you or those friendships.
You talking about being on a different life path than the traditional path/ the path your brothers took is so helpful, because I've been feeling the same way since I graduated high school (I graduated early) and I keep feeling like I should be moving through life faster than I am, like I should already be in uni and have a job and such, and feeling like I've failed(?)
Anyways long story short I just want to thank you for sharing the feeling of those struggles, and let you know that you're not alone in feeling that way
So excited to finally see ur place! Glad the move went well 🌞 please remember that if you show your view you will dox yourself.
Regarding Adelle she is just a dramatic storyteller. Trust me you have experienced most of the things she was talking about, she just had a way of telling the story like Barnum and Bailey lol 🎵🎶🎶🎶
The cosy vibes are immaculate
I think fear and a bit of anxiety it par for the course with a new move and new area. Focus on your loves and passions. Everyone lives differently. Age is literally a number, maturity comes as you grow. When you are in your right place you know because it feels like home.
I'm in my fifties and found were a mess. Just enjoy your twenties. You are an adult. There's no rules and no rush to any destination. What do you like to do that's not YT? You have to figure it out and it will fall into place. I moved from Dallas to Longview and wanted to know where my people were and finally found them. You will too.