Samuel, I’m deeply sorry for what you and your family are going through. I really appreciate your honesty. I am praying for you and your family during this time and in the months to come. Your video blogs have helped me so much over the last 4 years and your situation in no way diminishes the help I’ve received.
Samual, you are so right about group work. Over a year ago I did the harboring hope program. We are still talking to one another weekly a year later. I consider these women my sister friends. They are truly amazing women.
I’m sorry, I can’t imagine how you must feel. You brought a tear to my eye. It must be so so hard for you. Take comfort in what brings you comfort. Allow yourself to feel the pain and discomfort but welcome the things that bring you comfort. All this that you have experienced is just part of your story and it’s part of the reason why you are who you are. Embrace it and it will bring you comfort. I’m sure of it. God bless.
I am so sorry for you I know how anger can consume us … please forgive yourself he understood the damage he had caused and didn’t hold it against you … please show yourself compassion you were doing the best you could do at the time 🙏🙏🙏
My husband & I have been trying to recover from his infidelity for 7 years now. Unfortunately he was still secretly continuing his affair as we did intense recovery work after discovery in 2014. She dumped him, but he kept it hidden from me for 2 more years blaming our lack of healing on my unforgiveness & judging him. I just wanted to trust him - but his anger & defensiveness always shattered me. In 2019 he agreed to take a polygraph to help me trust but just before the appointment he "popped the zit" in front of me so that it wouldn't come out in a polygraph. Now he is in therapy addressing his real issues, and is actively in groups. I am just hanging in limbo- not sure what to hope for.
Wow I’m so sorry for what you have and are experiencing. It must be so so hard. His behavior is very typical and normal. We all wish it to be not so but unfortunately it is. All this is part of your and your marriage story together. It will be what shapes you. You are who you are because of this, your story. This is all going to take time and your marriage may or may not be there to weather the raw and grueling work this will take for both of you, and that is part of your story as well. But until you are “done” and say enough is enough, you are still in the game. And so is he. So allow yourself to feel because that will allow you to work through those feelings that you should not stuff down. Stuffing down is a sure recipe for disaster. Keep doing the work. God bless.
I’m sorry to hear that. It must be so hard for you. That is normal behavior for when someone is fearful and not wanting to feel all the negativity for what their actions have caused. Sigh. That must be really tough for you. God bless.
Samuel thank you for the video. Your kind words are always soothing to me. You never beat around the bush and you give it to us straight. I’m so grateful to have this information and to have been a part of an EMS virtual weekend. My only thought is that this recovery process from infidelity needs to be more “specialized” per say for the sex addict and partner of the sex addict. The program is wonderful, I just wish there was more information on sex addicts.
i get it. thank you for the note. there is some great stuff in our site for the addict, but i also know there is exceptional stuff out there about sex addicts by doug weiss, patrick karnes and the like. thank you for sharing your thoughts.
The first thing my husband said to me after finding out he had an affair was “you had absolutely nothing to do with it”, I can honestly say it didn’t help me at all, we are seeing a counselor together and on our own, he’s not an infidelity specialist, and knows of none here in our very small town, why don’t you have videos about what exactly you do at EMS weekends, so couples like us can get the help we need
i can't do in a video what you both can do and will do in our ems weekends with expert therapists who are on site, there to care for you. my videos are different as they are not in real time with actual people watching. the ems weekend has supervision, practical insights and assessments and has help for you to walk through the exercises in real time.
Lorraine, my wife and I have recently done the EMS weekend. I shouldn’t give advice but the hell with it….you should do EMS Weekend. Period. Regret that you did….you won’t.
To what depth does recovery go? What I mean is how far does accountability go? The man who is marrying my daughter wants to talk to me about the damage I've done. I've met him maybe 3 times and do not know this person aside from the fact my daughter loves him. I don't feel any impetus to account to him about the infidelity, as I barely know him. As one in recovery, am i accountable to him or not? While he can likely shed light on the damage I've caused my daughter, I don't necessarily feel like a)he knows the situation; b)is close enough to engage me about this. Help.
I sure wish there was a perfect recovery time line. But there’s not. God has his own timeline and I’m trusting that His timing is perfect. 😊
Yes He does and He makes all thing beautiful in His time and He will restore our lives and make us whole again 🙏 🙏
Samuel, I’m deeply sorry for what you and your family are going through. I really appreciate your honesty. I am praying for you and your family during this time and in the months to come. Your video blogs have helped me so much over the last 4 years and your situation in no way diminishes the help I’ve received.
Samual, you are so right about group work. Over a year ago I did the harboring hope program. We are still talking to one another weekly a year later. I consider these women my sister friends. They are truly amazing women.
love to hear that kind of stuff. thank you so much for sharing..
Thank you for sharing…I needed to hear this…
So good to see you again! Thank you for this
pleasure, thank you for the kind words.
Praying for you and your family. Praying with a deeper understanding than I could ever had imagined 2.5 years ago.
I needed to hear this...I'm a mess, but hopeful!
Great timing Sam.......you are speaking of my here and now.🧡💛
so glad I could help.
@@samshealingpodcast Me too.....I'm going mental!
Having such a hard time getting there eight years later and he has passed away. I never forgave him on his deathbed. He repented.
I'm so sorry. I know that is hard. I hope you're finding help to walk through this.
I’m sorry, I can’t imagine how you must feel. You brought a tear to my eye. It must be so so hard for you. Take comfort in what brings you comfort. Allow yourself to feel the pain and discomfort but welcome the things that bring you comfort. All this that you have experienced is just part of your story and it’s part of the reason why you are who you are. Embrace it and it will bring you comfort. I’m sure of it. God bless.
I am so sorry for you I know how anger can consume us … please forgive yourself he understood the damage he had caused and didn’t hold it against you … please show yourself compassion you were doing the best you could do at the time 🙏🙏🙏
My husband & I have been trying to recover from his infidelity for 7 years now. Unfortunately he was still secretly continuing his affair as we did intense recovery work after discovery in 2014. She dumped him, but he kept it hidden from me for 2 more years blaming our lack of healing on my unforgiveness & judging him. I just wanted to trust him - but his anger & defensiveness always shattered me. In 2019 he agreed to take a polygraph to help me trust but just before the appointment he "popped the zit" in front of me so that it wouldn't come out in a polygraph. Now he is in therapy addressing his real issues, and is actively in groups. I am just hanging in limbo- not sure what to hope for.
Wow I’m so sorry for what you have and are experiencing. It must be so so hard. His behavior is very typical and normal. We all wish it to be not so but unfortunately it is. All this is part of your and your marriage story together. It will be what shapes you. You are who you are because of this, your story. This is all going to take time and your marriage may or may not be there to weather the raw and grueling work this will take for both of you, and that is part of your story as well. But until you are “done” and say enough is enough, you are still in the game. And so is he. So allow yourself to feel because that will allow you to work through those feelings that you should not stuff down. Stuffing down is a sure recipe for disaster. Keep doing the work. God bless.
So glad to see you back.
it's awesome to be back.
I needed to hear that “ I’m a mess right now AND it’s ok”. It IS ok. thanks for being a blessing to us🙏🏾
it's an honor my friend. thank you for the kind words.
So, so true on group work!
Thank you Samuel. Great message!
thank you for the encouragement.
Great message
My unfaithful spouse refuses to be confronted by anyone about anything. It's exhausting.
I’m sorry to hear that. It must be so hard for you. That is normal behavior for when someone is fearful and not wanting to feel all the negativity for what their actions have caused. Sigh. That must be really tough for you. God bless.
@@xaviercastro4886 I have the same scenario
Samuel thank you for the video. Your kind words are always soothing to me. You never beat around the bush and you give it to us straight. I’m so grateful to have this information and to have been a part of an EMS virtual weekend. My only thought is that this recovery process from infidelity needs to be more “specialized” per say for the sex addict and partner of the sex addict. The program is wonderful, I just wish there was more information on sex addicts.
i get it. thank you for the note. there is some great stuff in our site for the addict, but i also know there is exceptional stuff out there about sex addicts by doug weiss, patrick karnes and the like. thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I agree…Dr Doug Weiss will certainly have what you are looking for about sex addiction. Highly recommend you look into their program and services.
Love you man
thanks so much. means a ton.
The first thing my husband said to me after finding out he had an affair was “you had absolutely nothing to do with it”, I can honestly say it didn’t help me at all, we are seeing a counselor together and on our own, he’s not an infidelity specialist, and knows of none here in our very small town, why don’t you have videos about what exactly you do at EMS weekends, so couples like us can get the help we need
i can't do in a video what you both can do and will do in our ems weekends with expert therapists who are on site, there to care for you. my videos are different as they are not in real time with actual people watching. the ems weekend has supervision, practical insights and assessments and has help for you to walk through the exercises in real time.
Lorraine, my wife and I have recently done the EMS weekend. I shouldn’t give advice but the hell with it….you should do EMS Weekend. Period. Regret that you did….you won’t.
To what depth does recovery go? What I mean is how far does accountability go? The man who is marrying my daughter wants to talk to me about the damage I've done. I've met him maybe 3 times and do not know this person aside from the fact my daughter loves him. I don't feel any impetus to account to him about the infidelity, as I barely know him. As one in recovery, am i accountable to him or not? While he can likely shed light on the damage I've caused my daughter, I don't necessarily feel like a)he knows the situation; b)is close enough to engage me about this. Help.
♥️