My ex narc didn’t say he loved me until after a year of us together. But he did buy gifts, fancy dinners, he made me a love songs cd, he really took care of me. I totally fell for it, I loved it. I thought I met a real love the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. 12 years later- he walked away from me like I was nothing. He left me when I needed him most- after a concussion.
I love this, the content, your delivery - having experienced this over the last decade and having thought I had been doing the work on self reflection, ownership of my shit, healthy boundary setting … basically healing - I kept hitting the same shit - the deep hurt. Thank you for sharing your work, its transformational
"Getting swept away by your wound" is far from victim blaming IMO, it simply acknowledges that our nervous systems are susceptible to manipulation. Lots of feel-good chemicals can convince us this is actually an opportunity to heal, until we learn to recognize these signs. Its also important to understand why our wounded nervous system is finding a match here: Is this dynamic familiar (which our brains code as SAFE)? What does our body tell us as this dynamic unfolds - tension, anxiety, stuckness are all potential cues to tune in to.
Is it possible that the person doesn’t actually realize they are doing all of these things because they are doing it out of an insecure attachment? My friends and family all said no, but like the toddler I touched it anyway. I broke it off and got sucked right back in and married her. She was able to use the fact that my family didn’t show up as proof that only she loves me and will be there for me. I have pushed away all of my family and friends that she “has at least one issue with”. I can’t believe I fell for this again. After being married to a known Narcissist for 13 years. What has gotten me is she accused me of love bombing and because I have suffered trauma and am unsure of myself, I believed that I was the problem. I am so confused now. My trauma had me so thirsty for love and acceptance and the need to be chosen. FUCK is absolutely a very important word.
I was with my husband for 8 years before I realized he is full of lies, manipulation, and gaslighting. I thought we had a fairy tale love story but I was wrong. It became apparent immediately once we bought a house together. It was like a switch was flipped in him. I’m at the point where I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m very sick of it and losing patience with him. I’ve had some bad relationships in the past but I’ve never accused a single person of being a narcissist before my husband. The gaslighting is strong with him and very triggering for me.
He seriously told me i love you on the first date😂,he was too much however i already knew the code. It was a nice movie where he died in his movie. Some men are moving 👿
Thank you Mark❤ you know it. I totally had a month long love bomb fling in July, and what a fun ride it was until it wasn’t. Rich ground for learning and expanding ✨
This is way before dating. This is all over the dating apps. It is a turnoff for me, I have done my 35 years, I know the signs. I am constantly saying, “sorry, but you don’t know me”.
My ex narc didn’t say he loved me until after a year of us together.
But he did buy gifts, fancy dinners, he made me a love songs cd, he really took care of me. I totally fell for it, I loved it. I thought I met a real love the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with him.
12 years later- he walked away from me like I was nothing. He left me when I needed him most- after a concussion.
I love this, the content, your delivery - having experienced this over the last decade and having thought I had been doing the work on self reflection, ownership of my shit, healthy boundary setting … basically healing - I kept hitting the same shit - the deep hurt. Thank you for sharing your work, its transformational
"Getting swept away by your wound" is far from victim blaming IMO, it simply acknowledges that our nervous systems are susceptible to manipulation. Lots of feel-good chemicals can convince us this is actually an opportunity to heal, until we learn to recognize these signs. Its also important to understand why our wounded nervous system is finding a match here: Is this dynamic familiar (which our brains code as SAFE)? What does our body tell us as this dynamic unfolds - tension, anxiety, stuckness are all potential cues to tune in to.
Amen. Great points!
Always love to see your video ❤❤
Is it possible that the person doesn’t actually realize they are doing all of these things because they are doing it out of an insecure attachment?
My friends and family all said no, but like the toddler I touched it anyway. I broke it off and got sucked right back in and married her. She was able to use the fact that my family didn’t show up as proof that only she loves me and will be there for me.
I have pushed away all of my family and friends that she “has at least one issue with”. I can’t believe I fell for this again. After being married to a known Narcissist for 13 years.
What has gotten me is she accused me of love bombing and because I have suffered trauma and am unsure of myself, I believed that I was the problem.
I am so confused now.
My trauma had me so thirsty for love and acceptance and the need to be chosen. FUCK is absolutely a very important word.
Mark might be the only person that can teach me deep things and make me crack up all at the same time ! 😂 ( also, we have to blame Disney) 😂
Haha. Thank you! I'll take that!
Mark, is it possible to happen with starting friendships too? Like friendship bombing?
Yes, absolutely -- rapid escalation and then distance -- is likely correlated to attachment style. And we bring that everywhere we go!
this episode with Sarah Baldwin explores it -- SO GOOD. th-cam.com/video/e6Ra3KN0JxU/w-d-xo.html
I was with my husband for 8 years before I realized he is full of lies, manipulation, and gaslighting. I thought we had a fairy tale love story but I was wrong. It became apparent immediately once we bought a house together. It was like a switch was flipped in him. I’m at the point where I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m very sick of it and losing patience with him. I’ve had some bad relationships in the past but I’ve never accused a single person of being a narcissist before my husband. The gaslighting is strong with him and very triggering for me.
He seriously told me i love you on the first date😂,he was too much however i already knew the code. It was a nice movie where he died in his movie.
Some men are moving 👿
Thank you Mark❤ you know it. I totally had a month long love bomb fling in July, and what a fun ride it was until it wasn’t. Rich ground for learning and expanding ✨
Great info Mark! Love your humor and honesty
Thank you!
This is way before dating. This is all over the dating apps. It is a turnoff for me, I have done my 35 years, I know the signs.
I am constantly saying, “sorry, but you don’t know me”.