Im so struggling with this breakup with a fearful avoidant it has been the most confusing relationship i have ever had coming back and forth the mixed signals communication and ghosting Ive now started therapy to help with the mental torture from the mind games but reflect on the most amazing connection we had and am dumb founded at the ending and the coldness and verbal abuse for no reason I was normally a secure person and am now a anxious mess
My guess is your avoidant is quite a bit like mine. They are probably "vulnerable narcissists." You might want to look into the narcissistic cycle of abuse. Idealization (the honeymoon phase), devaluation (of you), discard (of you). Some include a conflict stage prior to discard. Then often the cycle can repeat itself with you. You are doing the right thing by getting the help to deal with this situation. If yours is a narcissist (not the stereotypical kind) like mine was, it might help you to also reframe their actions toward you by understanding their personality type. 🤷 I hope this helps! Btw, if the discard phase results in a breakup, don't be surprised if they later reach out to start the idealization phase again. Know at that time that it won't to last and that the devaluation phase *WILL* follow.
Im so struggling with this breakup with a fearful avoidant it has been the most confusing relationship i have ever had coming back and forth the mixed signals communication and ghosting
Ive now started therapy to help with the mental torture from the mind games but reflect on the most amazing connection we had and am dumb founded at the ending and the coldness and verbal abuse for no reason
I was normally a secure person and am now a anxious mess
My guess is your avoidant is quite a bit like mine. They are probably "vulnerable narcissists." You might want to look into the narcissistic cycle of abuse. Idealization (the honeymoon phase), devaluation (of you), discard (of you). Some include a conflict stage prior to discard. Then often the cycle can repeat itself with you. You are doing the right thing by getting the help to deal with this situation. If yours is a narcissist (not the stereotypical kind) like mine was, it might help you to also reframe their actions toward you by understanding their personality type. 🤷
I hope this helps!
Btw, if the discard phase results in a breakup, don't be surprised if they later reach out to start the idealization phase again. Know at that time that it won't to last and that the devaluation phase *WILL* follow.
@@darkpassenger86 sounds a little like bpd