*The Toxic Avenger cleans up DEATH BATTLE!* Wiz: In the town of Tromaville run by a lazy mayor lived the dorky Melvin Junko, a janitor at the local health club. Boomstick: When some asshole bullies dressed him up in a pink tutu and continuously picked on him, he dove out the health club's top floor window and head-first into a barrel of toxic waste. Wiz: This transformed the little man into a towering, disfigured behemoth known to the town as the Toxic Avenger. Boomstick: Leaving behind his old career, Melvin started a new by beating the living shit out of criminals and terrorists before mopping their corpses as a calling card. Hell, he aided and protected the townspeople and even saved some kids from getting run over by the same murderous bastards who caused his transformation in the first place. Wiz: Rejected by his own mother, Melvin decided to use the Tromaville junkyard as his base of operations and fought more crime and unintentionally gained love from the town, except Mayor Peter Belgoody who wanted Toxie gone. Boomstick: When Ol' Tox killed a seemingly innocent old lady, who actually turned out to be a human trafficker, the mayor called the national guard to destroy him but the people protested against this, saying he kicked crime's ass. Oh and then Melvin eviscerated the fat coward. Wiz: As a hideously-deformed hero of superhuman size and strength, Toxie can bend metal, rip a man's arm off, smash the heads of two thugs together, pop a woman's corn, block off bullets while yawning and even fold a dwarf man into a basketball. And for some damned reason, he makes puns about it too. Toxie: (killing Wanda in the sauna) "Let this be a lesson to ya, hot ass!" Boomstick: Jesus Christ! He's like a horror equivalent of RoboCop. Wiz: He can also jump really high and cause surrounding gunmen to shoot at each other instead of him. And he even tanked a car explosion and walked away from the wreckage completely unharmed. Boomstick: He also survived a retirement village blowing up which was 25 tons of TNT. Wiz: However, Toxie also has one simple weakness… common household bleach! Boomstick: If he gets exposed to that shit, it takes away his powers until he can dive back into his toxic pool party which, somehow, gives him back his abilities. What a way to go. Wiz: So, wrongdoers beware! If you ever commit any crime in Tromaville, your fate will be sealed. Because the town has a new superhero and that hero… is the Toxic Avenger. Toxie: (comforting Officer O'Clancy) "Don't worry. I won't hurt you. I don't know what came over me."
This is heavy as fuck
*The Toxic Avenger cleans up DEATH BATTLE!*
Wiz: In the town of Tromaville run by a lazy mayor lived the dorky Melvin Junko, a janitor at the local health club.
Boomstick: When some asshole bullies dressed him up in a pink tutu and continuously picked on him, he dove out the health club's top floor window and head-first into a barrel of toxic waste.
Wiz: This transformed the little man into a towering, disfigured behemoth known to the town as the Toxic Avenger.
Boomstick: Leaving behind his old career, Melvin started a new by beating the living shit out of criminals and terrorists before mopping their corpses as a calling card. Hell, he aided and protected the townspeople and even saved some kids from getting run over by the same murderous bastards who caused his transformation in the first place.
Wiz: Rejected by his own mother, Melvin decided to use the Tromaville junkyard as his base of operations and fought more crime and unintentionally gained love from the town, except Mayor Peter Belgoody who wanted Toxie gone.
Boomstick: When Ol' Tox killed a seemingly innocent old lady, who actually turned out to be a human trafficker, the mayor called the national guard to destroy him but the people protested against this, saying he kicked crime's ass. Oh and then Melvin eviscerated the fat coward.
Wiz: As a hideously-deformed hero of superhuman size and strength, Toxie can bend metal, rip a man's arm off, smash the heads of two thugs together, pop a woman's corn, block off bullets while yawning and even fold a dwarf man into a basketball. And for some damned reason, he makes puns about it too.
Toxie: (killing Wanda in the sauna) "Let this be a lesson to ya, hot ass!"
Boomstick: Jesus Christ! He's like a horror equivalent of RoboCop.
Wiz: He can also jump really high and cause surrounding gunmen to shoot at each other instead of him. And he even tanked a car explosion and walked away from the wreckage completely unharmed.
Boomstick: He also survived a retirement village blowing up which was 25 tons of TNT.
Wiz: However, Toxie also has one simple weakness… common household bleach!
Boomstick: If he gets exposed to that shit, it takes away his powers until he can dive back into his toxic pool party which, somehow, gives him back his abilities. What a way to go.
Wiz: So, wrongdoers beware! If you ever commit any crime in Tromaville, your fate will be sealed. Because the town has a new superhero and that hero… is the Toxic Avenger.
Toxie: (comforting Officer O'Clancy) "Don't worry. I won't hurt you. I don't know what came over me."
All the qualities of this on TH-cam are shit. Is there a better quality anywhere.