@@8teezholic286 because they thought it was weird because they were friends for many years before that,from all i know it was Shawn that ended it but in my opinion they are still “dating” and the public just doesn’t know
What a beautiful song. I can't stop listening to it although it makes me cry and my heart feels like it is breaking in a hundred pieces because I can totally relate. I broke up with my boyfriend after seven years. It was better this way but of course he will stay in my heart forever. After that I fell in love with someone who lived in another country. We met only twice and we knew that the relationship had no serious future. I still had a little hope but he broke up with me. And now I'm so heartbroken, I'm still in love with him and I miss him so badly... Thanks to everyone who reads this. I wish everyone so much strength no matter with what you are dealing. It'll be okay ❤❤❤
This song is not useful to me for a breakup but for a heart break. About 5 months ago we found out my Grammy had cancer and she's only getting worse. She's coming home tomorrow for good and they stopped all treatments because it's only Making matters worse. This song is giving me courage to be able to let go when the time comes because it'll be okay.
❤️❤️❤️ This is heartbreaking 💔 Bcus years ago my dad was advised to get open heart surgery but was scared, after years of debating he got it. And then during recovery he didn’t make it 😭 his arteries weren’t strong enough by the time his mind was ready.
Last night, we've broke up. My gf(ex) and I lasted for 4 years and 2 months. It's such a shame that we've broke up because of busyness of me. The reason of broke up is not by a girl, it's because I didn't talk to her that much because I'm busy. She said to me, eye to eye, "I can't feel your love anymore." it's super heartbreaking to me because it's my fault, I take all the blame. She's my everything but she finds someone else and fall in love in that person because of my lack of attention to her. I'm super gonna miss her. -ps. we're in good terms but we think it's time to rest
Hey i don't know you but please don't blame yourself we go thro different phases at different times it's not your fault if your love was true maybe you two were never meant to be in the first place but you're not to blame or she as well i hope you heal from this cuz i've been thro the same just keep believing that's everything will be okay cuz it will i promise
Did anyone else think about their best friend? Just me? Because I was in heart wrenching tears thinking about my best friend that saved me from depression and brought so many meaningful people into my life
31/12/2010: I left my childhood best friend. I left her, she was the best, but I wasn't. It wasn't my fault that I had to leave but I always felt like it was. I came back and reconnected with her, it took a lot of time but we got through it. It wouldn't be till ihit high school that I would ruin everything all over again. 25/05/2011: I broke two innocent hearts. I had moved to a new school and instantly click with two new friends. Even tho we were only 6, they seemed to make life easier. They were both boys and they both liked me, each for their own reasons but me? I couldn't deal with it. They didn't deserve to like someone like me, they deserved better. Even though we were all kids, i knew that they would grow up one day to be great people. So i had to shut them down. If only i had known I'd end up leaving another two of my closest friends I probably would've handled it differently. But then again i was only a child and i didn't know what was going to come. I only hope that they lived the lives i hoped they would. 15/11/2014: My greatest friend left me. It felt like karma had struck me. For what, i have no clue but it happened. He moved to a different country. It felt like my world fell apart. He was there always. I later found out he died in a plane crash on his way back. I would be up and happy during everyday, but alone at night i would cry myself to sleep. It happened for a month and I made sure no one knew what i would do every night. I hope that he's okay, wherever he may be right now. 06/06/2016: I found out my mother left this world and finally found Eternal peace. It was 2 months after I turned 11 and I knew she wasn't going to be able to keep her promise. She promised to make it to my 21st, now that's my promise, to make it out till then. 23/09/2018: I lashed out on my best friend and lost her forever. She now has a new best friends. We still talk and we're still in the same friend group. She's tried to reconnect with me a few times but I don't feel like she deserves to deal with me after what I had put her through, I know I have a loose temper but I didnt know how to control yet. Now I try my best to stay out of the way. She's leaving this year, and I might never see her again but I hope that she lives life to the fullest. 23/08/2021: The love of my life left. I liked him since we were 8. After I turned 16 i realized i was in love with him. It was hard, he wasn't dealing with school the right way so he decided to leave. My only regret was never telling him how i felt. 27/12/2021: On the 27th of December i will be scattering my mother's ashes. It's going to be hard i know it is. But i know if i leave it any longer ill never be able to fully let her go. I accepted her death a long time ago but I knew those around me didn't. So i kept her, untill i was only enough to make a proper decision. One that i would hopefully not regret. I hope by doing this i will fully be able to free myself of the heart ache. I know itll always be there but i hope that it'll be easier to cope and move forward with. To those who have read this these are my biggest tragedies. I have nowhere to release them, so I'll leave them in a place where i know they'll be kept safe. Thank you for reading Edit: I think its important to let those who might see or have already seen this know that i believe this is punishment for not believing in god. Although all these things happened i feel like im in this position because im an atheist and don't believe in a deity. I don't think i ever will believe but that doesn't stop me from thinking that if god/s existed they're punishing me for it and i kind of just have to deal with it. Im not changing my opinions anytime soon because if there was a god/s would they really allow me to go through all this pain? Would they really allow anyone to go through all the shit they've been through? I didn't know love from the all mighty who could rid the world of pain could be this cruel. Its part of the reason i don't believe, but then again I'm an angst teen and my opinions could change later on in life. Maybe I'll fully be able to understand why they would give pain to this world. Also some updates: 1. The scattering of my mother's ashes went well, and as i released her into the river with my own hands i also released some long pent up emotions, tears that i couldn't even bring myself to cry out at her funeral. I let go of a lot that day, her ashes, my tears, even a bit of my will to live but I'm going strong and have been for the past 17 years, im not about to end it, not on my own at least. 2. Me and my ex best friend are better. I can talk to her but i still treat her as if i hate her. I hope that me doing this keeps her away and i think its better this way too. I feel like i can live with myself knowing that her new best friend would be able to take care of her better then i could which is why i try so hard to keep her away and push her closer to her best friends, though i dont think i need to do that since she keeps away just fine. And yes she did leave school but shes in a group chat on insta with the girls of ours class so we're still in contact, somewhat. 3. I recently got a job. I've been wanting one for a while and i finally have one. I work at a cultural based daycare which we, in New Zealand call a kohanga reo. Although i never intended on working with kids im greatful to the kohanga for accepting and welcoming me in as part of the family. Im also greatful to the little gremlins for adding an extra spice to my life. 4. School has been very stressful this year. As im now in my senior year in high school other wise known as year 13, we have a really busy year ahead of us. Although its now the holidays, keeping up with school is obviously still exxpected but now we have a senior end of the year school trip on the line in which we're all excited for. Not only that but im in the process of checking if i have adhd as ive been have problems in focusing with anything for a while now. Its a miracle that i even got this comment and edit up. I think if i do have adhd that i might be mildly affected by it, not to the point where I'd need full on meds to keep me focused during the day but enough to not be able to focus well again without it. I don't know, i don't know what's wrong with me. Im hoping i don't have it and that I'm just paranoid. 5. Todays my birthday! I'm 17 now, hence the 17 comment above. I don't feel differently though. I still feel just as shitty as ever but today was tolerable to say the least. 6. Depression is on my border line. Im not depressed but i am at the same time. My friends think I'm joking everytime I'm depressed but that's because im too scared to actually admit that i do feel like shit everyday. That the reason i stay all night and sleep all day is not only because of a fucked up sleeping schedule but because of the small will to live and that thought that if i abuse myself in a way without physical scars that my body would give out and rest forever. I joke to my friends about stupid situations in how i would die, walking and getting ran over, getting shot, drowning etc, because its easier to tell them that i want to die in a joking manner that pisses them off then in a way where im serious and them feeling like they have to take care of me in order to want to live. Some get really mad and i understand, i would hate if my friend felt like it would be better if they died, but some don't even realise that most of the time i mean when i say i want to live and die at the same time, i mean it when i say that i think about multiple scenarios in which i die, i mean it when i say i would rather die then be alive, and i mean it when i say that I'm too scared to actually go through killing myself. Again, im sorry if this got really dark. Im tired and miserable of life but to scared to fully end it. Im just waiting. Waiting on the miracle in which one day i will leave this place and would finally be able to rest in peace. Maybe the day in which i pass will be the day i finally decide to accept the existence of god.
Hey dont you worry ❤️ Believe in the power of our lord and pray to God. This is all just temporary, yea? We've a long way to go!! God bless youu, you'll do great, lots of lovee
Nancy you are amazing and strong. The trauma that happened as a young child is still there. Find ways to cope and accept the trauma. You’ll be able to get through this. Keep your head high and walk with passion
Hello dear friend :( I read the whole thing that made me really sad. I can feel the way you felt all thse years. Sending you all the love and support from a whole different country, you are strong enough to deal with all of that dear, have some believe on urself and u will do well ❤❤
Nancy Barret, I am 18 years old and just graduated High school. When you talked about your friends you reminded me of me. I have ADHD and recently got diagnosed with generalized anxiety. Middle school started with me being depressed and suicidal. In 7th grade I planned on killing myself. I had a plan. I was taking clonidine for me to sleep (the doctors thought I had sleep problems but It was because of my anxiety they found that out few years later). I learned that you can overdose on it. So that night I was going to take all of it and go to sleep. But that night I had this weird feeling that the night wasn’t the night. So I went to sleep and I had a dream but I think it was a vision. You said you were an atheist. Well, my moms side is all catholic and my step dad is not religious. We moved to a different state because it was expensive and barely making it. My moms biological dad made us live in a garage. He was a Christian and my parents went to churc h with them. My moms side is catholic but my mom didn’t really believe in him. A year later they got Baptised. My step dad however grew up in a messed up Narcissistic family and would do use belts and sticks to punish them. I was terrified of him. ADHD made my life worse, I’ve had it ever since I was in kidergarten. He didn’t understand it though, didn’t believe in the doctors. My grades were f and d. My test grades always a 20 or a 40. But one time in 5th grade I ran all the way home and waited for him to come home. He came home and I showed him my test grade it was a C. I was so proud of myself because I have never gotten a c before. He looked at me and said “hmm. No A? You could have done better.” And walked off. He would come home drunk and my mom and dad (step dad) would have these full blown arguments. Cussing each other and one time he pushed my mom against the wall and she stared limping to the bathroom. But they were Christian’s now. Newly Christian’s still learn though old habits don’t go away, you have to work at them and surround yourself with Christian’s. So that’s what the did. But middle school he wasn’t drinking as much and didn’t use the belt but would yell at me and tell me “any normal/smart kid would get this” or slam his hand in the table. I was terrified to ask him to help me with my homework because it would be midnight and I still wouldn’t get it. My mom would hide in the bathroom or the closet. I was alone. I had three little sisters. I thought everyone was better off without me. I mean the friends I had were better off. I would snap at them and they would leave. I would push them away, they were way better off without me. I was messed up and had a messed up family. I didn’t deserve to have friends like them. They were smart too! One of my friends I pushed away was valedictorian in my graduation class. I was proud of them. Knowing they were better off without me and they were. But I also surrounds myself with toxic people. Messed up people like me. Suicidal people. Abusive people. Toxic people. And that night I planned on killing myself. That night I dreamt of me going through with my plan. I was a ghost. And my mom found me because she was yelling at me to get downstairs and get ready for school. She found me and called 911 and she realized I was dead. My mom fell in depression and went back to her old ways of being rebellious ( she had me at 21 with my abusive biological father, never saw him or met him. She doesn’t want me to meet him). My step dad beat himself up telling him he was too hard on me and stared drinking again. They divorced. My three sisters. I watched them grow up. Bella the oldest wanted it be a doctor now she is a drop out and barely making it through life, Ellie is in a toxic relationship with a her boyfriend and Livie is partying and getting into drugs. One by one they killed themsleves in different ways, saying they missed me and why I left them. I tried to talk to them and say it wasn’t them but me! Until I realized I was a ghost and I was dead. I was screaming no. Begging God I would find help and won’t kill myself anymore. I woke up with tears streaming down my face and looked around the room and next to my lamp was the clonidine. I began sobbing. The next day I told my mom I wanted to kill myself. She began crying and asking me why. I said I don’t know. I just do. I didn’t tell her the truth. That wasn’t until like in freshmen year if high school I did because I was struggling with it. I struggled with until the end of 11th grade. I sometimes have thoughts like when I’m driving I ask myself “I wonder what it would feel like to run that reel goth and crash into a car? Would my parents care?” Now I am totally different I still have those thoughts not often though. And my mom and step dad are totally different. My sisters go to a Christian school and my dad doesn’t drink to the point where he’s drunk or doesn’t use them belt or anything. The fights with me ofensa do happen though not to the point of being physical. But the cussing and door slamming happens. They are still working on it. They gone to counselors many times but my step da screw up in a messed up gown with narcissistic dad and abusive mom. They messed his head and the way a normal person thinks. We are all trying to help him. He thinks nothings wrong so me and my mom are reading books about narcissistic behavior and victims of it. But anyway, I just want to let you knew you aren’t alone. God has plans for all of us and yes bad things happen. Happened to my mom and it happened to me. Why does he do this? Why does he plan this? He knows everything that’s going to happen to us. I wasn’t born into Christianity, I’m a new Christian like 2 years I accepted him as my lord and savior. I can’t answer that. All I know is, we have to trust him and our minds can’t understand why he does these things. But when we get up to heaven he will explain it to us. My step dads mom was in Mexico (lives there) and she worked for the government and got shot in the leg. There were these people who were doing illegal stuff and she was going to tell on them and they hired a hit man just to scare her. Well.. he hit her leg. The doctor said she would be fine. She was at home and two days later dies if a blood clot. My dad lost it. He wanted to kill them, he almost did. He got drunk in Mexico and almost got in a fight. She wasn’t supposed to die. Just a couple more months and she would have retired and live with us in the U.S. but she died and she died young she was only in her 40s. So I know about pain and losing someone. The worst thing is though the day before she died she FaceTimed my parents and my parents told me to talk to her. I said no and went up stairs to read my book. I wish I could re wind and talked to her. Surround yourself with people you love you. Positive people. Caring people. It will help. Also medication could help too. I never told my doctor of being depressed and almost taking. My life because I probably would ahead been on medication and under suicidal watch. But try it! Or write positive things everyday. My mom forced me to do that and they each wrote why they loved me. They said whenever those voices come, you read that letter. My mom wrote her letter and my step dad wrote a letter too. Also it’s never too late to turn to God. No matter how old you are or what you’ve done or been through, he will accept you. I hope this helps! * please no hate comments, thank you!*
Wow this is one of the most impactful songs I’ve heard in awhile and I’m crying rn even tho I’m in a happy and healthy relationship but I have related to this🥺💕
For anyone who wants to play this on guitar, here's how :) - Standard Tuning - No Capo - - Chords & Strum Patterns - C, G, D, D For each chord before the end of the first chorus, strum: ↓ For each chord after the end of the first chorus, strum: ↓↓ ↑↓↑ ↓↓ ↓↑ Hope this helps out! If you get stuck or need a little extra help, I just posted a video lesson for this on my channel :)
Hi guys, I made a Cover Mushup of Ava Max - EveryTime I Cry, SCOOP, Let Them Know, Rumors, LALISA and more th-cam.com/video/Kj4is9WsXSE/w-d-xo.html Hope you like it
At first, it's so hurt for me to imagine i'll go on my own path, far away of yours.. And then i realised, what's for me wouldn't ever leave me. And what's not for me, would never stay..
*If you tell me you’re leaving, I’ll make it easy…* Damn…if THIS is easy, what’s the definition of difficult? Like, even I had a hard time to tear myself away from the screen… and I’m not emotionally involved. Although I must admit, this song made me feel like I am. It feels relatable, nevertheless what you’re going through in your life. Maybe that’s why it sounds so magical…🧡
I broke up with my gf 4 months ago and since then I was in a really dark place but this morning I listened to this song and I chose to finally let go of her for good and move on with my life.
Someone edited a bl couple Vegas and Pete from KinnPorche the series and it drove me insane 🥺🥺I'm so inlove with this song that I've listened it more than any song I've listened ❤❤
With due respect to Gen Z's n mellinials this 67 yr old elderly amazingly done a cover to this emotion packed song wd a guitar accompaniment.So grateful to Shawn for sharing
I had someone i loved and we tried to make it work or I did..and he was always apart from me. I tried to hold on but for my mental health we left each other. We just had different things in life that we wanted...this song reminds me of him cause he still wantd us to be a thing. I have a few exs like this..
This song is so heartbreaking though I may be a 14 year old girl this song opens the depth and revealing the truth that I could not see.IT WILL BE OKAY
Are we gonna make it? Is this gonna hurt? Oh, we can try to sedate it But that never works Yeah I start to imagine a world where we don't collide It's making me sick, but we'll heal and the sun will rise If you tell me you're leaving, I'll make it easy It'll be okay If we can't stop the bleeding We don't have to fix it, we don't have to stay I will love you either way Ooh-ooh, it'll be oh, be okay Ooh-ooh Oh, the future we dreamed of is fading to black Oh Oh, there's nothing more painful Nothing more painful, oh-woah I start to imagine a world where we don't collide And it's making me sick, but we'll heal and the sun will rise If you tell me you're leaving, I'll make it easy It'll be okay (I'll be okay) And if we can't stop the bleeding We don't have to fix it, we don't have to stay (don't have to stay) I will love you either way Ooh-ooh, it'll be oh, be okay Ooh-ooh I will love you either way It might be so sweet It might be so bitter I will love you either way It might be so sweet It might be so bitter (ooh-ooh) Oh, if the future we've dreamed of is fading to black I will love you either way
I've been thru hell and back in my relationship with my boyfriend. Almost 2 years off and on. This song touches my heart all the way. Expression of my feelings for sure. So us. Love him bunches. But things falling apart by the days. Hopefully things will get better 🙏
Any fans of Shawn Mendes here?
OFCCCCC
I am
Im here
RIGHT HEEEEEEEEEERRRREEEEEE
Meeeee
When they say the best songs comes from a sad/hurt person. They ain’t lying
true 🥺
Script
HIDUP KENA HAPPY BANG 🆒🆒
atau kak
Big true
So much more meaningful when u know why it was written
can u pls tell me why they had to breakup?
yeah
You wright and if you had a painfull breakup you can relate too the song
Im agree with you
@@8teezholic286 because they thought it was weird because they were friends for many years before that,from all i know it was Shawn that ended it but in my opinion they are still “dating” and the public just doesn’t know
Happy Friday everyone!
Um happy friday
Love at first listen.
Definitely
wrd
Damn this song has got *the feels* x 1000!! The heartbreak is real Shawn
"i will love you either way" hit different :(
What a beautiful song. I can't stop listening to it although it makes me cry and my heart feels like it is breaking in a hundred pieces because I can totally relate.
I broke up with my boyfriend after seven years. It was better this way but of course he will stay in my heart forever. After that I fell in love with someone who lived in another country. We met only twice and we knew that the relationship had no serious future. I still had a little hope but he broke up with me. And now I'm so heartbroken, I'm still in love with him and I miss him so badly...
Thanks to everyone who reads this. I wish everyone so much strength no matter with what you are dealing. It'll be okay ❤❤❤
It’ll be okay🤍🤍
Love is temporary, Pain is forever
I hope everything will be fine in the future..stay strong dear❤
Its been 6 months, how are you feeling now?
I know how hard it can be..be strong
This song is not useful to me for a breakup but for a heart break. About 5 months ago we found out my Grammy had cancer and she's only getting worse. She's coming home tomorrow for good and they stopped all treatments because it's only Making matters worse. This song is giving me courage to be able to let go when the time comes because it'll be okay.
This song reminds me of my grandad who I sadly lost 2 weeks ago before chrismtas 💔
im so sorry ur grammy will be in our prayers
❤️❤️❤️ This is heartbreaking 💔 Bcus years ago my dad was advised to get open heart surgery but was scared, after years of debating he got it. And then during recovery he didn’t make it 😭 his arteries weren’t strong enough by the time his mind was ready.
Praying for ur grandma 👵 🙏
My grandmother passed away last June 😢 😔 😞 missing her so badly
I'm going through the exact situation as you. I hope you'll stay strong
Last night, we've broke up. My gf(ex) and I lasted for 4 years and 2 months. It's such a shame that we've broke up because of busyness of me. The reason of broke up is not by a girl, it's because I didn't talk to her that much because I'm busy. She said to me, eye to eye, "I can't feel your love anymore." it's super heartbreaking to me because it's my fault, I take all the blame. She's my everything but she finds someone else and fall in love in that person because of my lack of attention to her. I'm super gonna miss her.
-ps. we're in good terms but we think it's time to rest
i am sorry u had to go tjru thar
So sorry to hear that. Take care of yourself, please
Hey i don't know you but please don't blame yourself we go thro different phases at different times it's not your fault if your love was true maybe you two were never meant to be in the first place but you're not to blame or she as well i hope you heal from this cuz i've been thro the same just keep believing that's everything will be okay cuz it will i promise
You must know it was also really hard for her to make the decision. No one wants to be lonely in a relationship.
Im so sorry💔 God wil sent you the right peron at the right time, you just need to strust that he wil do that for you
Nothing more painful, such an incredible words that cannot be expressed in words but can only be expressed by the pressure of his voice ❤️
There is lot of pain in this song.
The future we dreamed of,
Is fading to black,
Oh, there is nothing more painful!
Oh Man! This song is full of emotions. I can't stop listening to it.
Same .. min wen eta
😢😢😢😢
Sometimes things end because of little missunderstandings, but never give up too easy , be the captain of the ship of love...
Not every breakup is about hating the other person. Shawn wrote a beautiful song. It’s so heart wrenching and magical
Did anyone else think about their best friend? Just me? Because I was in heart wrenching tears thinking about my best friend that saved me from depression and brought so many meaningful people into my life
Same here it’s not just u
*Before 2022 let's see how many legends are listening to this masterpiece.* 👀
What a guy! What a song! What emotions! Beyond magical! Shawn, THANK YOU!
I'm not crying YOU'RE CRYING
I freestyled over it
31/12/2010:
I left my childhood best friend. I left her, she was the best, but I wasn't. It wasn't my fault that I had to leave but I always felt like it was. I came back and reconnected with her, it took a lot of time but we got through it. It wouldn't be till ihit high school that I would ruin everything all over again.
25/05/2011:
I broke two innocent hearts. I had moved to a new school and instantly click with two new friends. Even tho we were only 6, they seemed to make life easier. They were both boys and they both liked me, each for their own reasons but me? I couldn't deal with it. They didn't deserve to like someone like me, they deserved better. Even though we were all kids, i knew that they would grow up one day to be great people. So i had to shut them down. If only i had known I'd end up leaving another two of my closest friends I probably would've handled it differently. But then again i was only a child and i didn't know what was going to come. I only hope that they lived the lives i hoped they would.
15/11/2014:
My greatest friend left me. It felt like karma had struck me. For what, i have no clue but it happened. He moved to a different country. It felt like my world fell apart. He was there always. I later found out he died in a plane crash on his way back. I would be up and happy during everyday, but alone at night i would cry myself to sleep. It happened for a month and I made sure no one knew what i would do every night. I hope that he's okay, wherever he may be right now.
06/06/2016:
I found out my mother left this world and finally found Eternal peace. It was 2 months after I turned 11 and I knew she wasn't going to be able to keep her promise. She promised to make it to my 21st, now that's my promise, to make it out till then.
23/09/2018:
I lashed out on my best friend and lost her forever. She now has a new best friends. We still talk and we're still in the same friend group. She's tried to reconnect with me a few times but I don't feel like she deserves to deal with me after what I had put her through, I know I have a loose temper but I didnt know how to control yet. Now I try my best to stay out of the way. She's leaving this year, and I might never see her again but I hope that she lives life to the fullest.
23/08/2021:
The love of my life left. I liked him since we were 8. After I turned 16 i realized i was in love with him. It was hard, he wasn't dealing with school the right way so he decided to leave. My only regret was never telling him how i felt.
27/12/2021:
On the 27th of December i will be scattering my mother's ashes. It's going to be hard i know it is. But i know if i leave it any longer ill never be able to fully let her go. I accepted her death a long time ago but I knew those around me didn't. So i kept her, untill i was only enough to make a proper decision. One that i would hopefully not regret. I hope by doing this i will fully be able to free myself of the heart ache. I know itll always be there but i hope that it'll be easier to cope and move forward with.
To those who have read this these are my biggest tragedies. I have nowhere to release them, so I'll leave them in a place where i know they'll be kept safe. Thank you for reading
Edit: I think its important to let those who might see or have already seen this know that i believe this is punishment for not believing in god. Although all these things happened i feel like im in this position because im an atheist and don't believe in a deity. I don't think i ever will believe but that doesn't stop me from thinking that if god/s existed they're punishing me for it and i kind of just have to deal with it. Im not changing my opinions anytime soon because if there was a god/s would they really allow me to go through all this pain? Would they really allow anyone to go through all the shit they've been through? I didn't know love from the all mighty who could rid the world of pain could be this cruel. Its part of the reason i don't believe, but then again I'm an angst teen and my opinions could change later on in life. Maybe I'll fully be able to understand why they would give pain to this world.
Also some updates:
1. The scattering of my mother's ashes went well, and as i released her into the river with my own hands i also released some long pent up emotions, tears that i couldn't even bring myself to cry out at her funeral. I let go of a lot that day, her ashes, my tears, even a bit of my will to live but I'm going strong and have been for the past 17 years, im not about to end it, not on my own at least.
2. Me and my ex best friend are better. I can talk to her but i still treat her as if i hate her. I hope that me doing this keeps her away and i think its better this way too. I feel like i can live with myself knowing that her new best friend would be able to take care of her better then i could which is why i try so hard to keep her away and push her closer to her best friends, though i dont think i need to do that since she keeps away just fine. And yes she did leave school but shes in a group chat on insta with the girls of ours class so we're still in contact, somewhat.
3. I recently got a job. I've been wanting one for a while and i finally have one. I work at a cultural based daycare which we, in New Zealand call a kohanga reo. Although i never intended on working with kids im greatful to the kohanga for accepting and welcoming me in as part of the family. Im also greatful to the little gremlins for adding an extra spice to my life.
4. School has been very stressful this year. As im now in my senior year in high school other wise known as year 13, we have a really busy year ahead of us. Although its now the holidays, keeping up with school is obviously still exxpected but now we have a senior end of the year school trip on the line in which we're all excited for. Not only that but im in the process of checking if i have adhd as ive been have problems in focusing with anything for a while now. Its a miracle that i even got this comment and edit up. I think if i do have adhd that i might be mildly affected by it, not to the point where I'd need full on meds to keep me focused during the day but enough to not be able to focus well again without it. I don't know, i don't know what's wrong with me. Im hoping i don't have it and that I'm just paranoid.
5. Todays my birthday! I'm 17 now, hence the 17 comment above. I don't feel differently though. I still feel just as shitty as ever but today was tolerable to say the least.
6. Depression is on my border line. Im not depressed but i am at the same time. My friends think I'm joking everytime I'm depressed but that's because im too scared to actually admit that i do feel like shit everyday. That the reason i stay all night and sleep all day is not only because of a fucked up sleeping schedule but because of the small will to live and that thought that if i abuse myself in a way without physical scars that my body would give out and rest forever. I joke to my friends about stupid situations in how i would die, walking and getting ran over, getting shot, drowning etc, because its easier to tell them that i want to die in a joking manner that pisses them off then in a way where im serious and them feeling like they have to take care of me in order to want to live. Some get really mad and i understand, i would hate if my friend felt like it would be better if they died, but some don't even realise that most of the time i mean when i say i want to live and die at the same time, i mean it when i say that i think about multiple scenarios in which i die, i mean it when i say i would rather die then be alive, and i mean it when i say that I'm too scared to actually go through killing myself.
Again, im sorry if this got really dark. Im tired and miserable of life but to scared to fully end it. Im just waiting. Waiting on the miracle in which one day i will leave this place and would finally be able to rest in peace. Maybe the day in which i pass will be the day i finally decide to accept the existence of god.
Hey dont you worry ❤️ Believe in the power of our lord and pray to God. This is all just temporary, yea? We've a long way to go!! God bless youu, you'll do great, lots of lovee
Nancy you are amazing and strong. The trauma that happened as a young child is still there. Find ways to cope and accept the trauma. You’ll be able to get through this. Keep your head high and walk with passion
Hello dear friend :(
I read the whole thing that made me really sad. I can feel the way you felt all thse years. Sending you all the love and support from a whole different country, you are strong enough to deal with all of that dear, have some believe on urself and u will do well ❤❤
I to love💞 have lost alot🤲🕊.in life.🙏reading this is kinda respected ya😔 soul🙏Deeply ✍'I send ya peace🕊 healing🧘♀️ and love💞n light 🕯🙏
Nancy Barret,
I am 18 years old and just graduated High school. When you talked about your friends you reminded me of me. I have ADHD and recently got diagnosed with generalized anxiety. Middle school started with me being depressed and suicidal. In 7th grade I planned on killing myself. I had a plan. I was taking clonidine for me to sleep (the doctors thought I had sleep problems but It was because of my anxiety they found that out few years later). I learned that you can overdose on it. So that night I was going to take all of it and go to sleep. But that night I had this weird feeling that the night wasn’t the night. So I went to sleep and I had a dream but I think it was a vision. You said you were an atheist. Well, my moms side is all catholic and my step dad is not religious. We moved to a different state because it was expensive and barely making it. My moms biological dad made us live in a garage. He was a Christian and my parents went to churc h with them. My moms side is catholic but my mom didn’t really believe in him. A year later they got Baptised. My step dad however grew up in a messed up Narcissistic family and would do use belts and sticks to punish them. I was terrified of him. ADHD made my life worse, I’ve had it ever since I was in kidergarten. He didn’t understand it though, didn’t believe in the doctors. My grades were f and d. My test grades always a 20 or a 40. But one time in 5th grade I ran all the way home and waited for him to come home. He came home and I showed him my test grade it was a C. I was so proud of myself because I have never gotten a c before. He looked at me and said “hmm. No A? You could have done better.” And walked off. He would come home drunk and my mom and dad (step dad) would have these full blown arguments. Cussing each other and one time he pushed my mom against the wall and she stared limping to the bathroom. But they were Christian’s now. Newly Christian’s still learn though old habits don’t go away, you have to work at them and surround yourself with Christian’s. So that’s what the did. But middle school he wasn’t drinking as much and didn’t use the belt but would yell at me and tell me “any normal/smart kid would get this” or slam his hand in the table. I was terrified to ask him to help me with my homework because it would be midnight and I still wouldn’t get it. My mom would hide in the bathroom or the closet. I was alone. I had three little sisters. I thought everyone was better off without me. I mean the friends I had were better off. I would snap at them and they would leave. I would push them away, they were way better off without me. I was messed up and had a messed up family. I didn’t deserve to have friends like them. They were smart too! One of my friends I pushed away was valedictorian in my graduation class. I was proud of them. Knowing they were better off without me and they were. But I also surrounds myself with toxic people. Messed up people like me. Suicidal people. Abusive people. Toxic people. And that night I planned on killing myself. That night I dreamt of me going through with my plan. I was a ghost. And my mom found me because she was yelling at me to get downstairs and get ready for school. She found me and called 911 and she realized I was dead. My mom fell in depression and went back to her old ways of being rebellious ( she had me at 21 with my abusive biological father, never saw him or met him. She doesn’t want me to meet him). My step dad beat himself up telling him he was too hard on me and stared drinking again. They divorced. My three sisters. I watched them grow up. Bella the oldest wanted it be a doctor now she is a drop out and barely making it through life, Ellie is in a toxic relationship with a her boyfriend and Livie is partying and getting into drugs. One by one they killed themsleves in different ways, saying they missed me and why I left them. I tried to talk to them and say it wasn’t them but me! Until I realized I was a ghost and I was dead. I was screaming no. Begging God I would find help and won’t kill myself anymore. I woke up with tears streaming down my face and looked around the room and next to my lamp was the clonidine. I began sobbing. The next day I told my mom I wanted to kill myself. She began crying and asking me why. I said I don’t know. I just do. I didn’t tell her the truth. That wasn’t until like in freshmen year if high school I did because I was struggling with it. I struggled with until the end of 11th grade. I sometimes have thoughts like when I’m driving I ask myself “I wonder what it would feel like to run that reel goth and crash into a car? Would my parents care?” Now I am totally different I still have those thoughts not often though. And my mom and step dad are totally different. My sisters go to a Christian school and my dad doesn’t drink to the point where he’s drunk or doesn’t use them belt or anything. The fights with me ofensa do happen though not to the point of being physical. But the cussing and door slamming happens. They are still working on it. They gone to counselors many times but my step da screw up in a messed up gown with narcissistic dad and abusive mom. They messed his head and the way a normal person thinks. We are all trying to help him. He thinks nothings wrong so me and my mom are reading books about narcissistic behavior and victims of it. But anyway, I just want to let you knew you aren’t alone. God has plans for all of us and yes bad things happen. Happened to my mom and it happened to me. Why does he do this? Why does he plan this? He knows everything that’s going to happen to us. I wasn’t born into Christianity, I’m a new Christian like 2 years I accepted him as my lord and savior. I can’t answer that. All I know is, we have to trust him and our minds can’t understand why he does these things. But when we get up to heaven he will explain it to us. My step dads mom was in Mexico (lives there) and she worked for the government and got shot in the leg. There were these people who were doing illegal stuff and she was going to tell on them and they hired a hit man just to scare her. Well.. he hit her leg. The doctor said she would be fine. She was at home and two days later dies if a blood clot. My dad lost it. He wanted to kill them, he almost did. He got drunk in Mexico and almost got in a fight. She wasn’t supposed to die. Just a couple more months and she would have retired and live with us in the U.S. but she died and she died young she was only in her 40s. So I know about pain and losing someone. The worst thing is though the day before she died she FaceTimed my parents and my parents told me to talk to her. I said no and went up stairs to read my book. I wish I could re wind and talked to her. Surround yourself with people you love you. Positive people. Caring people. It will help. Also medication could help too. I never told my doctor of being depressed and almost taking. My life because I probably would ahead been on medication and under suicidal watch. But try it! Or write positive things everyday. My mom forced me to do that and they each wrote why they loved me. They said whenever those voices come, you read that letter. My mom wrote her letter and my step dad wrote a letter too. Also it’s never too late to turn to God. No matter how old you are or what you’ve done or been through, he will accept you. I hope this helps!
* please no hate comments, thank you!*
I just broke up with my boyfriend, and it really hurts. This song reassures me in a good way, thank you Shawn xx
Wow this is one of the most impactful songs I’ve heard in awhile and I’m crying rn even tho I’m in a happy and healthy relationship but I have related to this🥺💕
Award lyrics with such emotion. Beautiful so deep but so many has resonated with this song.
For anyone who wants to play this on guitar, here's how :)
- Standard Tuning - No Capo -
- Chords & Strum Patterns -
C, G, D, D
For each chord before the end of the first chorus, strum: ↓
For each chord after the end of the first chorus, strum: ↓↓ ↑↓↑ ↓↓ ↓↑
Hope this helps out! If you get stuck or need a little extra help, I just posted a video lesson for this on my channel :)
Thanks mate
Hi guys, I made a Cover Mushup of Ava Max - EveryTime I Cry, SCOOP, Let Them Know, Rumors, LALISA and more th-cam.com/video/Kj4is9WsXSE/w-d-xo.html
Hope you like it
A song for you to remember. Love,Lana ❤❤❤❤
❤❤❤❤am here now again
Sooo happy your together with her❤❤❤❤ Camila
This lines"i will love you either way" .❤
this song is so beautiful my heart hurts
At first, it's so hurt for me to imagine i'll go on my own path, far away of yours..
And then i realised, what's for me wouldn't ever leave me. And what's not for me, would never stay..
There are still pure songs out there in the world
💚 wow, beautiful song, couldn’t stop the 🥲. The piano danced in my heart too.
Saying goodbye to someone you love is one of the hardest things in life
💔..
Yep
Faith over fear 🙏 I am sure my god have something for me!!
always Shawn Mendes fan❤
It would be ok ☺️ Shawn 🎶🎶✨
Wow the emotions in this song.. it’s beautifully written
Where are you listening from?
Philippines 🇵🇭
Tanzania
england
Indonesian🇮🇩
This song>>>>>
I love him I can't stay away from him 😭
you can :)
*If you tell me you’re leaving, I’ll make it easy…*
Damn…if THIS is easy, what’s the definition of difficult? Like, even I had a hard time to tear myself away from the screen… and I’m not emotionally involved. Although I must admit, this song made me feel like I am. It feels relatable, nevertheless what you’re going through in your life. Maybe that’s why it sounds so magical…🧡
I broke up with my gf 4 months ago and since then I was in a really dark place but this morning I listened to this song and I chose to finally let go of her for good and move on with my life.
This song almost stop my heart beating... 😭😭😭
I just discovered this song, and holy hell it hurts! It speaks so fluently to this painful situation, though.
Wow.... Amazing voice ❤❤❤❤ love at first listen 🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍 thank you so much shawn Mendes..... 🤗😌😌
Beautiful song. It sounds exactly the same as the song Lighting Strikes by a band called Live. But I love the way Shawn sings it
*Altho the melody is so sad, I love this masterpiece...* 🧡
I listened to this on repeat a year ago and now I’m back 😢
I start to imagine a world where we don't collide...that part hit me🥺🥺
Not relatable..no breakups,no departures..but still I'm crying..🥺
Same
It's December to see who's still listening to this song 😍😍
Wow too imotional ,
Greetings from Uganda 🇺🇬🇺🇬
I am a fan of Shawn Mendes
Upsi, this song song enchants me - so sad and so beautiful at the same time. Greetings from Germany! ♡
Fantastic 💖💖💖
Such a meaningful song and his voice.. i just ❤️ it..
Someone edited a bl couple Vegas and Pete from KinnPorche the series and it drove me insane 🥺🥺I'm so inlove with this song that I've listened it more than any song I've listened ❤❤
Shawn Mendes never upset us, don't u guys think?
Beautiful song. Heartbroken all over again.
Absolutely!!!!!
Shawn is a real superstar luv him❤❤❤❤❤❤
Obsessed with this song
Listening to this after a heartbreak hurts so fucking bad💔💔
Perfect song for this moment.
i love you shawn mendes
Hi .. I'm from Malaysia .. Love this song .. very touch my heart 😢 ..
I'm not broken, but after listening to this song I feel like I am huhuhu
Lyrics made me cry
Okay but like why this make me cry at 4 am
Listening to this after a heartbreak hurts so fucking bad:\
I feel ya
Yes it does
🥺💔
What he sings: "I will love you either way"
What I sing: "I will love you with the wind"
Yeah ... Yeah I'm deaf.
Beautiful words. Beautiful song.
Camila cabello and Shawn were endgame I can’t believe they broke up 😭😭
With due respect to Gen Z's n mellinials this 67 yr old elderly amazingly done a cover to this emotion packed song wd a guitar accompaniment.So grateful to Shawn for sharing
I had someone i loved and we tried to make it work or I did..and he was always apart from me. I tried to hold on but for my mental health we left each other. We just had different things in life that we wanted...this song reminds me of him cause he still wantd us to be a thing. I have a few exs like this..
Me too.. but honestly we need to experience healthy love
Magnifique ❤️
This song is so heartbreaking though I may be a 14 year old girl this song opens the depth and revealing the truth that I could not see.IT WILL BE OKAY
This song literally makes me cry 💔
Are we gonna make it?
Is this gonna hurt?
Oh, we can try to sedate it
But that never works
Yeah
I start to imagine a world where we don't collide
It's making me sick, but we'll heal and the sun will rise
If you tell me you're leaving, I'll make it easy
It'll be okay
If we can't stop the bleeding
We don't have to fix it, we don't have to stay
I will love you either way
Ooh-ooh, it'll be oh, be okay
Ooh-ooh
Oh, the future we dreamed of is fading to black
Oh
Oh, there's nothing more painful
Nothing more painful, oh-woah
I start to imagine a world where we don't collide
And it's making me sick, but we'll heal and the sun will rise
If you tell me you're leaving, I'll make it easy
It'll be okay (I'll be okay)
And if we can't stop the bleeding
We don't have to fix it, we don't have to stay (don't have to stay)
I will love you either way
Ooh-ooh, it'll be oh, be okay
Ooh-ooh
I will love you either way
It might be so sweet
It might be so bitter
I will love you either way
It might be so sweet
It might be so bitter (ooh-ooh)
Oh, if the future we've dreamed of is fading to black
I will love you either way
Listening to this @3 in the morning...😘🥰
It’s making me sick but we’ll heal and the sun will rise😭🙌🏼
I agree with you about the best songs come from a broken heart
This song is so beautiful
Oh my... This is so dope 😍
Waiting for that kind hearted ❤️ person who can actually support me from heart❤️❤️🙏❤️❤️❤️
I love Shaw Mendes ❤
😭thank you @the Vibe Guide ❤👏👏
Y'know what's sad? getting older and no one to tell about our dreams :((
I've been thru hell and back in my relationship with my boyfriend. Almost 2 years off and on. This song touches my heart all the way. Expression of my feelings for sure. So us. Love him bunches. But things falling apart by the days. Hopefully things will get better 🙏
Hope it goes well!!! Coming from a caring stranger
How lovely! 😭💕
Shawn mandes always my favourite 💜
I am a big fan. A very talented artist. I love his songs.
We never get over, we just learn to be sober in public. - Anonymous
So beautiful too listen too ❤
I will love u always my luv keep resting with the angels
Beautiful song 😀
It be hard to say it sometimes buttt in the end you’ll always find your happiness!
Such a serious song, I love it 😍
My new favourite love. Words hit so deep
This song jus hits me,l can listen to it all day ❤❤
Beautiful song 🎵