@@Sprite_525 What? Why would the relationship be just about sex and at the same time sexual compatibility is not important? Your "chad" meme example makes no sense. It's the dem guys who made seem like marriage was just about sex. I think some of you leftist have been brainwashed by to much fetish porn, as long as two adults are healthy, they are sexually compatible, unless one of them has some super specific fetish that their marriage partner can't or won't do.
Destiny is a brave and powerful woman for debating against a predominantly male panel. You can also tell she loves black people by how she talks to Pedro. I have so much respect for her.
Destiny: its when wahmn are so disgusting and vulgar that you give up on your self respect and start an open relationship with someone 10+ years younger than you
@Chilly destiny got a divorce and is now with someone 10 years younger than him who has nothing in common wth him except loving being the center of attention. Destiny is the last person on the planet who should argue about a relationship with anybody.
@@notallowedtobehonest2539 Sounds like she was incompatible. I should think divorcees are in a particularly good position to talk about the importance of not marrying too blindly.
@@saerain yes, a typical left wing strategy. Give something an undefined meaning and overuse it. She wasnt COMPATIBLE. Its for EQUITY. The food is ORGANIC. The oil isnt SUSTAINABLE. The workers are ESSENTIAL.
@@jshv73 initially I was struggling to identify that… then I remembered these guys are “orthodox Christians” of the internet type and as such I have no doubt: bad faith, condescending pricks.
Sexual compatibility is not as profound as you guys think. Sexual compatibility is a poorly defined thing. Sex itself is pretty basic. Sexual compatibility assumes that everyone has engrained sex habits and can’t adapt to a partners needs. I think sexual compatibility makes sense only to lefty porn addicted young men that all relationships need to be “sexually compatible”, ie. I need to be able to act out my porn induced fetishes with my gf. For normal men, an attractive bodied women with a pleasant personality is all that is needed for “sexual compatibility”. The rest is about male performance and female rejection.
@@dickdrapper5491 wow, such a sad sexual perspective! Maybe you should grow up a little and gain some actual experience and then try to propose this argument again. (Yes, I am assuming you are both young and inexperienced in sex and general eroticism).
As a woman it is so sad to see men genuinely not seem to believe that women could have a higher sex drive than their male partner. It's not a freakish outlier, many of my friends and I have had issues with this
No many of your friends have porn addicted boyfriends who are splooging to high definition twerking fat azzes. Normal non-porn addict men Have higher sex drives than women 90% of the time
I was cracking up at that part. My wife has always had a higher sex drive than me, I’m good for once a day, she could go several times a day. I recognize that might not be the majority, but it’s certainly common
@@kara5202 I 100% would bet money that if having to choose between a girl with 4 partners and a virgin. The vast majority of men would choose 4 partners
@@anubisgod23 CAP. Especially if you are a religious man you wouldn't choose that. Even these Rich powerful and famous dudes always choose younger women not only because they are more attractive but because they have way less experience.
@@anubisgod23 It's not only Christians but Jews, Muslims, and in many other asian and African cultures and relgions it is a requirement or expected for people to marry virgins. The whole deal with the sexual revolution is just something very western and it only started like 50 years ago.
@@fawaz2771 Not true. I didn't know any of these guys and the christian guys are completely insufferable. They aren't even arguing the decent points for their side effectively
Can we acknowledge how laughable the idea is that these inexperienced sexual puritans are going to have these perfectly honest and expressive, detailed conversations about sexual preferences before ever touching each other? I know very sexually liberal and experienced people who aren’t comfortable spilling the beans on their kinks and preferences until they actually have a sort of sexual rapport with their current partner, and been introduced to each others bodies and vibes. It’s so hilariously delusional to think that these conversations really happen in even a fraction of abstinent relationships.
@@karsten9387 I think it depends on the level, so to speak, that you are speaking of, you can't really apply a blanket view on bdsm. Some of it is likely fine, but even if you consent to something it doesn't' mean it's good for you. You can both consent to taking heroin with each other, it doesn't mean that, this is a good idea. The need, or want, to pursue more extreme acts of bdsm, is almost exclusively going to come from some sort of trauma, particularly during childhood. After instances of being abused, as humans we often subconsciously overcompensate, rather than facing the issue, we subconsciously pretend that we were a willing participant rather than a victim (Again particularly if the trauma was during childhood), and engaging in that sort of behaviour, is not healthy, you should face the issue through counselling etc, rather than deepening the root of the issue, by acting out a false persona, that was caused by the abuse. And for more lighter forms of bdsm, most people are going to be fine with, and even if they are not at first, that is something you can realistically compromise on, or work out together etc.
"Good sex is incredibly broad and differs from person to person" *Yes* so shouldn't people make sure they end up with partners with whom they share a similar idea of what good sex is?
I'm a man so if I finish, it was fine. I am not more or less fulfilled by whether or not we had longer or more exciting sex. Maybe I'm an autist but I get more long term fulfillment from art and athletics and religion than I do from lights out sex. And no, I'm not a virgin lol
@@KennyBare "lights out sex..." Well there's your problem. Turn on the lights, put some mirrors up, and make it actually fulfilling. Also, a fulfilling life outside of bed doesn't mean life in bed sucks. These are not exclusive factors of life.
Never been with a Christian girl but from my experience, heavily religious girls can become total freaks in the bedroom once they are comfortable enough to let the “good girl” façade go
A lot of that is going to come from the amount of a abuse in the catholic church, and by extension the catholic community (The Catholic church, changed a lot in the bible, including that priests etc were not allowed to take wives, which I can explain in more detail, but that sparked the problems with abuse) Women who are abused, particularly at a young age, often become extremely sexual, because they are essentially, subconsciously overcompensating, rather than facing the trauma, they convince themselves that they are just extremely sexual, so they act out the behaviours of that persona. It's why most sex workers were abused at some point. In regards to rough sex, well that could possibly just be that a lot religious texts, talk about the man being the leading person in the relationship, so by extension, I suppose that could lead to them wanting a more dominant sexual partner. Kinky is a very broad term, and I haven't got as far into the video as this yet, but it depends what you mean, but within reason, nearly all guys are going to be into rough sex, and be fine with kinky sex to a degree. And if it's that unusual, it's most likely coming from a severe psychological issue, from abuse, so you should probably go to couples therapy for that.
As a guy listening to these conservatives, I feel bad for any woman they date. They seem to either not understand or don't care about the sexual happiness in their relationship. It's mind blowing their incapable of understanding basic ideas and thoughts. EDIT: I got to the point where the conservative dropped "If they've never had sex before they won't know it's bad." Okay, I can't finish this because it's physically painful.
Ended too early. Around 1:30:00 destiny finally reads the study they linked about sexual partners and divorce. watching zen get destroyed trying to defend the data made it worth. But yea this debate was particularly hard to get through Edit: 2:00:16 is particularly fantastic
They clearly care about the women in other aspects, why is sex the only thing that is important. If a man treats a woman well and makes her happy but falls short in the bedroom why is he seen as a problem and why is she seen as a victim in your eyes.
The worst part is Andrew and Zen both know that Destiny and PFW are clearly correct, but they have to spill spaghetti everywhere in embarrassing ways to defend their initial point. The best & most mature thing they could’ve done is say “Ya know you’re probably right, but I’m a Christian and believe it’s a sin”
Imo the best argument is "you should only engage in sex with people you intend to form a marriage/long term relationship with". You could argue casual attitudes toward sex detracts from how special it "should" be. But when you axiomatically have to argue that you HAVE you wait until after marriage, you're stuck arguing half true things for wrong reasons. Not that I care if people fuck around or don't. To each their own.
No he isn't, you can learn about your partners sexual preferences before you have sex with them, and if the sex is not good you can better, if you love each you can learn to please each other.
@@ibot2157 but how are you meant to know what you really enjoy sexually if you're not allowed to have sex before marriage? So how can you be completely honest about whether or not you'll be sexually compatible with your future wife if you've never experienced a sexual relationships. There are some people that are into rough sex and some people that aren't. What if your future partner says they're into choking and you think you might enjoy it but then realise the actual act of doing it is a massive turn off for you leading to the sex not being fun for one of the partners half the time.
Zen not grasping sexual compatibility and just keeping it to the physical organs is both hilarious and frustrating. I'd say it was innocent or naive if he didn't keep defaulting to that every time he was uncomfortable answering a hypothetical
There is no such thing as sexual compatibility you're brainwashed if you think that's an important criteria for marriage then you're deluded people who say this think about sex and bombarded with pathetic sexual genre
@@dirtydan5326 that's a null argument bring an argument or don't We don't see sleeping around as a way to think that you'll somehow know yourself sexually and we aren't man whores either If we go by your logic then we should be having sex with people of different sexuality before finding a partner to be sexually compatible with which only leads to degeneracy Dumb thinking without proper understanding
@@dirtydan5326 well nope I don't sleep with random stranger whom they have just met like in the west and we don't see that as a sign of masculinity like it is seen in the west
The guy that believes people should abstain before marriage also believes that two people can sit down and discuss sexual preferences and gauge compatibility without EVER having sex. I'm surprised nobody commented on that gaffe, try to make him explain how he could explain how he likes his pizza if he has never tasted pizza or it's individual ingredients in the past.
A study published in the Journal of Sex Research on August 26 indicates that free love and godless sex may not be as great as once advertised. Sex engaged in by religious married couples is reportedly more satisfying, particularly for married women with strong religious associations.
@@Yoyod000 Go reread your study, its not "particularly" for married women - its only for married women. The study found no link between religion and sexual satisfaction for men. In fact the study found that SINGLE religious men have more sexual satisfaction than married religious men
@Cosipurple I know, it's so stupid. It would be like two people having a conversation about their favourite country to holiday in, except neither person has been abroad, they've just watched some travel shows
@@Lizard_kang Sure, but if Christians sin more than atheists as a result of that, then Christianity is making the world a more sinful place, thus making the teachings of the religion pointless. Kind of a self-own there
@@kingcheesus7591 I don’t remember if Andrew was actually saying that Christian’s sin more overall. But i would say that they are probably tempted more but not sinning more.
@@kingcheesus7591 I also probably should have worded my original comment better. If someone is a “good Christian” then of course they are going to be able to fight off sin much more effectively.but, If someone ties them self to a moral ideology like Christianity but are weak and immoral in practice then by the nature of reality that dissonance in them is going to cause more corruption rather than someone who is sinful but more consistent in their worldview.
Destiny may have missed Zen saying something important very early in the conversation. He said something to the effect of "happiness not being the measurement of good." These guys believe societal stability is better than the right to individuals seeking happiness. There's no moving them off these opinions. They argue from their deontological positions.
So this came out recently and it makes lots of sense. If you have only had sex with one person than your proply pretty happy with it . A study published in the Journal of Sex Research on August 26 indicates that free love and godless sex may not be as great as once advertised. Sex engaged in by religious married couples is reportedly more satisfying, particularly for married women with strong religious associations.
@@fiachracasey7625 Sweets are different from an individual being fulfilled and happy in general. A child can find something else to eat that'll make them happy. But disregarding ones individuality for societal "good" will lead to more consequences, not just unhappiness, also mental illness.
@@avacadocap9591 when you get older you realise happiness isn't a period in life, being happy is fleeting. Chasing "happiness" is pointless, a good life is full of activities that may not be pleasant but make you whole and fulfilled. Disregarding ones individuality by telling them they can't or shouldn't drive drunk, do heroin, I doubt most of these things are a net negative
@@fiachracasey7625 Happiness is a moment that comes and goes, much like anger, regret and sadness, it is a state of mind. Tell me, would you like to live in a world that will be much disregarding of your individuality as a person? You tell me. Or do you believe you have non, therefore it wouldn't be a problem for you? If it's the latter, I can then say it is your business not mine and I don't have to do the same as you.
“Not all sex has to be an hours long extravaganza, whatever happened to walking in the room doing your business and being done in a minute” could these guys view of sex sound any more bleak. Those poor wives
A study published in the Journal of Sex Research on August 26 indicates that free love and godless sex may not be as great as once advertised. Sex engaged in by religious married couples is reportedly more satisfying, particularly for married women with strong religious associations.🤔 saw this today
@@rumplespewskin6718men and women think about sex very differently. if you had few partners and Don t watch porn you will have less to compare it to . thus will be happier because you dont know what you may or may not be missing. Chasing sexual desire is a well that will never fill you.
They keep saying zero sexual partners means you’re less likely to get divorced. I think it’s important to point out that a person who was a virgin until marriage is most likely religious and therefore more willing to suffer through a bad marriage than get divorced. If that woman hasn’t been abused but just doesn’t enjoy the sex, she’s more likely than a non-religious person to just settle with never having sex again because she doesn’t want to sin against god.
Zen Shapiro is wild for thinking you can just ask a chick questions then marry her and find out as opposed to finding out before marriage.Don’t get married until you know what you are dealing with. And never even think of marriage without living with her.
That last point is actually very true. The tiny annoyances you have with a partner are magnified 100 fold when you're stuck in a house with them for the rest of your life lol
I knew a girl in college who was "waiting til marriage". She wasn't Christian and was actually pretty edgy. I could believe she would be willing to talk bout sex with a partner prior to getting married. We actually argued about pre-marital sex once, it clearly wasn't something she wasn't comfortable with.
The opposite of your last point is actually true. Cohabitation before marriage is associated with far higher chances of divorce. The best reason I can come up with for why that’s the case is that it treats the significant other as a temporary/trial spouse. You’re sending the message that you would rather live with this person than be alone, but you don’t have the respect to make an actual commitment. In that relationship you’re living as if you’re married while always leaving the option to leave open.
@@trent20817 I think it may actually be due to the fact that breaking up when you live together is harder to do. You’ve intertwined your whole existence so much that it’s easier to convince yourself the relationship is fine than to go through the trouble of separating finances, deciding who gets to keep the dog, etc.
@@ilovecoffeev umm no? It was not a compromise, it was set up as a strategy to "Deliverance" not compromise, if it was a compromise it would've- (at least I think)- been a different story.
@@disclaimer4211 ah right. He had to save us from himself by sacrificing Himself to Himself, otherwise He would have required Himself to damn His greatest Creation. It's great how y'all actually believe that actually happened, and will then quote verses like, "the Lord is not the author of confusion."
Within the concept of a marriage, are not all sacrifices, at least potentially a part of a larger compromise, even if not a direct compromise ? Could you give the example, as I can't quite remember what it was ?
I was in a relationship for 8 years, starting in 2011. I loved her, but ignored our sexual differences. We were engaged when things fell apart. We are still friends and both acknowledge our individual failings in the relationship. This is not rocket science my dudes
@@abbeyprice7413 Perhaps it's possible that there are guys who are just sexuality repulsive to a certain portion of the female population, and this is only discovered after sex. But fr dawg? Name one time you haven't gotten along with a woman sexually
Right, as if you could have frequent sex with a woman for two years straight in the dating phase and as soon as the wedding day arrives she doesn’t want it anymore. That’s an impossibly long con lol
@@Killerkiki313 actually wrong. What if the woman just wants your assets or the security you offer? At that point she could and would utilize sex as a manner of getting to a certain goal. I'm just playing devil's advocate. Moreover sexual compatibility changes over time
@@roycereeves5456 A woman having enthusiastic sex with a guy every other day for two years? I guess I’m just incredulous about this. Unless the man is not paying even a modicum of attention, there’s no way a woman can fake that well for that long.
@@Killerkiki313 I'm sorry but where did I say enthusiastic sex I just said she is having sex everyday. That in no way means she is truly invested. Now if it is enthusiastic sex that is a whole other factor in the equation
I had the worst sexual chemistry ever with the guy I adored the most in high school, I can't imagine how bad the sex is for these guy's wives if they can't even wrap their head around the notion of sexual compatibility or chemistry. Kevin's shirt is very nice.
It's like Ben Shapiro's WAP moment - you can tell so much about what goes on behind closed doors in these men's sex lives just from indirect statements like that.
Did BPF even know what the initial hypotheticals were about? BPF and Zen were arguing that high body count is bad on the sexual marketplace and Destiny and Alex were asking about Premarital sex before marriage with said person. I'm 1 hour in and it's like following 2 debates at the same time.
BPF wasn’t even listening 70% of the time. Just repeating rhetoric over and over. I’m actually getting frustrated trying to listen to the debate because he derails the conversation whenever a good analogy is made. Then tries to make some elementary level joke to Zen and they both just mic spam until Destiny stops talking lol just them trying to explain sexual compatibility and Andrew realizing what they meant and being intentionally obtuse to be funny almost made me cut it off
Anyone who has ever been in a long term relationship knows that good sex releases a lot of tension. Especially after an argument or a disagreement. And it doesn’t have to be an hour long, it just has to be intimate and enjoyed by both parties involved.
I'm a Christian conservative who believes there are a lot of problems with premarital sex, even setting aside the religious issues. Having said that, sexual compatibility is a real thing. With my own friends who are also religious, I have witnessed extremely successful marriages of people that engaged in no premarital sex. I have also seen horrible consequences with this. And this chastity was done all under the guise of being pure and moral. But in reality, there was extremely limited or no sexual contact prior to marriage because the woman had a very low sex drive or was not sexually interested in her partner, other than to have children and security. The man is then doomed to a very sexually unfulfilling life that he can't escape. It does happen with women as well, where they come to find out that her new husband has serious sexual issues like a very small penis or ED problems. We'd all like to say one side of this debate is good and one is bad. Reality is much more complicated. People who are in love will be drawn sexually to each other, whether they are married or not. If there is not a powerful force drawing them together sexually, very often there is something internally wrong in the relationship. But let's not be foolish here. Diseases and unwanted pregnancies aren't exactly running rampant amongst married, monogamous people. And those are tremendously serious problems. And I don't care what anybody says. It's blatantly obvious that women are often negatively affected emotionally when they live a promiscuous lifestyle.
//// And those are tremendously serious problems. And I don't care what anybody says. It's blatantly obvious that women are often negatively affected emotionally when they live a promiscuous lifestyle.///// Not quite. "Young adults who engage in casual sexual encounters do not appear to be at greater risk for harmful psychological outcomes than sexually active young adults in more committed relationships. " - Casual Sex and Psychological Health Among Young Adults: Is Having “Friends with Benefi ts” Emotionally Damaging? "Results indicated that there was no causal relationship between casual sex in adolescence and higher levels of depressive symptoms or suicidal ideation in young adulthood, and these effects did not differ by gender. There were also no causal relations between adolescent depressive symptoms or suicidal ideation and casual sexual experience in young adulthood." - A Noncausal Relation Between Casual Sex in Adolescence and Early Adult Depression and Suicidal Ideation: A Longitudinal Discordant Twin Study "In conclusion, this study examined whether multiple sex partnerships can lead to later mental health problems and found no association with anxiety and depression" - The Relationship Between Multiple Sex Partners and Anxiety, Depression, and Substance Dependence Disorders: A Cohort Study "Sociosexually unrestricted students typically reported higher well-being after having casual sex compared to not having casual sex; there were no such differences among restricted individuals. Few gender differences were found." - Who Benefits From Casual Sex? The Moderating Role of Sociosexuality "The study, released by the University’s sociology department last week, said that while some girls who became sexually active without being in a committed relationship before the age of 15 suffer from depression in their lives, a majority did not. Researchers found the same for boys under the age of 14."
@@Kylerusse64 Interesting. I totally acknowledge that my opinion is anecdotal and may be based entirely on correlation. I have seen a correlation with people I knew engaged in sexual activity at a young age and tremendously negative outcomes. Though, it may not be a causal factor. I'd be willing to bet that the average age of sexual activity amongst convicts is much lower than the average population, and the number of sexual partners is higher. But that wouldn't necessarily imply causality.
@@davidr1620 I don't disagree! However, I don't think there is causal factors between having sex in a non-monogamous lifelong relationship and depression. Now granted, within a more conservative religious society, you may have more guilt by people who engage in those actions because of things like peer pressure, but on societies where sex outside of marriage isn't frowned upon, they are the happiest of societies. So, while correlation doesn't equal causation, it certainly precludes it being a factor of depression. Also, another study I stumbled upon: "This article is a descriptive study on the emotional wellbeing of individuals involved in casual sexual relations, labeled as friends with benefits. The size was 119 adults. An online survey, approved by a local, peer-review panel, was used to collect data. To explore how participants felt in this type of relationship, the instrument was organized in a total of ten categories - five positive (happy, desired, satisfied, adventurer, excited), - five negative (empty, confused, used, clumsy, deceived) Participants could select one or several categories as an answer. Overall, positive emotions were selected significantly more than negative ones, and women made up the majority of positive responses." - Friends with Benefits and Psychological Wellbeing
What is the purpose of calling a sexual deficiency a lack of sexual compatibility? Are you saying people should have premarital sex to discover these things? Even two perfectly healthy people get married they could get in a car accident on their honeymoon and the man's penis could be severed.
Nothing quite like the satisfaction when someone cites a source to support their argument and when you stop to read it, the source actually supports the opposite of their argument.
It always baffles me that these guys want virgins with no knowledge of sex but expect her to be able to provide a sexually fulfilling life. Virginity is not something you offer someone... it sounds weird. Sex is a part of the relationship like communication and love languages, you need to see of you match. It is so sad to see men say sexual compatibility is based in sexual depravity.
BPF's comment on what sexual compatibility means actually caused my brain cells to commit self harm. This entire discussion is reminding me of how learning more about sex was a big part of realizing that religion was delusional.
All I heard throughout this entire conversation is - “I’m a Christian man and have had no experience with women therefore sex isn’t important to me when getting to know a woman.”
As someone who is on the right, I want to say I appreciate destiny's honest argumentation here and I'm upset at the obfuscation by the other side. All they have to do is be honest and say they think that pre-marital sex cheapens sex and promotes a culture of meaningless hedonistic relationships, and then link that to the state of our society, low birth rates and so on. Instead they are being dishonest or just straight up stupid and trying to derail everything into muh meta ethics mental masturbation nonsense. These people are not qualified to have an intelligent discussion and make people "on the right" look bad.
The reason why we have low birth rates has nothing to do with sex as recreation. It has everything to do with women's emancipation from their traditional role as walking incubators expected to birth a small village of kids. Even if no one had pre-marital sex, the birth rates would not rise by any significant margin because pre-marital sex is not a major contributing factor. In fact, I'm willing to bet that birth rates would plummet as women opt out of dating altogether given how cringe a lot of you losers are.
It's cool to see that there are people on both sides who can watch the flow of an argument and actually understand when someone is being dishonest and when someone isn't, regardless of what side they're on
That's why Christians teach to resist those desires to focus on genuine love. Why does no one ever mention to sluts maybe they should consider if their sex buddy is abusive or has qualities of a good father and life partner?
This is such a good point. I always say that one of peoples biggest mistakes in relationships is mistaking infatuation (the honey moon faze) with love. And factoring in the desire to have sex it can be even more confusing.
@@odellatics exactly! If you're sitting there with a bunch of pent up hormones for this person then you cannot accurately assess if this is ACTUALLY your life long partner
Because the same church that teaches that premarital sex is not what God intends, also teaches that love is not a natural inclination and or desire. Feeling for one doesn't mean I love them; it means my monkey brain wants to fuck. But of course, most only follow the teaching of pre-marital sex as tradition and stay blinded to what true love may be.
They correlate “women being virgins before marriage” with “less likely to divorce” without addressing the obvious religious bias : the first category has more than probably a very high adherence to traditional culture, which makes them less likely to divorce. Sex is pretty irrelevant here
They’re conflating a woman’s marketability with how well their future relationships will be. It’s better for the woman to have sex so that the compatibility is tested and known for sure. It’s better for her marketability to have a lower number or at least lie about it because of the insecurity of their partner, which is all this debate is about; them being insecure about their partner’s body count.
That's like saying having a sexual preference that excludes trans people is all about insecurity and its better for their marketability to just lie about being trans because of the insecurity of their partner. Try to come up with the real reason why men pair up with a woman beyond having an orgasm with them and you'll understand why these preferences have nothing to do with insecurity.
@honestrat03 The focus is on women because they're the one that choose who they sleep with whereas men are typically looking for any woman willing to sleep with him. It's the difference between a lock that is opened by any key and a key that can open any lock. Being promiscuous has clear downsides that effect both men and women but men are just doing what comes natural to them whereas naturally women are supposed to be selective and pick the best possible partner because they'll have to spend the next 9 months growing his baby and many more years raising it. Contraceptives and abortions have allowed women to shirk their role as selectors entirely and just fuck anyone they can, thats why its seen as a failing when women do it but not when men do it.
@@sticks7857 Technically, it would be better for marketability for them to do that. However, it’s obviously a much different situation. If they haven’t had bottom surgery, they’d obviously be found out eventually. Even if they had the surgery and had seemingly no difference, I doubt their partner would just never find out. Even with that, though, it wouldn’t have to do with how well their relationships go. They’d obviously have them end, but that doesn’t say anything about how well their relationship was going beforehand. And I honestly don’t know why these types of men pair up with women because all they seem to care about is how much sex they’ve had and with whom. All Destiny and Alex are saying is that premarital sex isn’t inherently negative or positive and if they had to choose, it’d probably be a positive since the person would have a better understanding of what they like and want their partner to be like as far as sex goes. The Christian’s’ arguments imply that they could have a great relationship with a woman, but if they found out their body count then none of that would matter anymore. Not because somebody lied, but because it’s more than 0. Their whole argument is that people shouldn’t be exposed to anything else because then they’d want and expect more out of their partner. It’s one thing to have unrealistic expectations, but these guys act like wanting to have enjoyable sex with the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with is an unrealistic standard to have. Sex isn’t everything, but it’s way more important to a relationship’s quality and longevity than people realize or give credit for. People like you hear “I want enjoyable sex with my partner” and think that’s all somebody cares about. We’re simply saying that even if everything else was great, it’d be a dealbreaker to be with someone who isn’t sexually compatible. The Christian’s don’t seem to care. Not that they wouldn’t try to have a good sex life, but that it’s not important to them if they don’t have good sex, like it’s a trade off they’re willing to make. Which is totally fine. I just wish they’d say that outright. “I’ll try to have enjoyable sex with my partner, but if it doesn’t happen then oh well.”
@honestrat03 Exactly, which is why there’s a curve in the data they showed. It’s pretty common for most people to have a few sex partners in their life before they get married. I also don’t really like the focus on women and wish they’d just say “people” if they actually care about the principle itself.
It's kind of disappointing that a lot of this conversation was centered around "sexual compatibility discovery" when i think that's not the best argument to be made against forced abstinence. The main issue i see in making premarital sex immoral is that it leads to 1.frustrated young people venting their urges in other, actually unhealthy ways and 2.earlier "rushed" marriages that lead to suboptimal lifelong relationships (more people getting married later, or not getting married at all is a GOOD thing I think, as those were not meant to last a happy lifetime). And the increasing divorce rate has more to do with the desacralization of the family unit (it's considered ok and maybe even BRAVE to be a single mom/dad, and it's also OK not to have kids, although i strongly prefer the second option to the first) and the emancipation of women (you won't starve if you leave me), than premarital sex imho. I bet a lot more divorces would happen in traditional/religious societies if it weren't for the religious morals weighing on people's shoulders.
@@Banana-eb8qr Sure thing, that's why i specified "forced" abstinence and not "abstinence" in general. There would be an argument to be had about choice depending on your social background and environment (choosing abstinence because you were taught you'll rot in hell for all eternity otherwise is questionable). But if we state that premarital sex is immoral, then yes, we are advocating for "forced abstinence".
I find it interesting that to you, the people whos marriages failed were always destined to fail at long term relationships and that their life experiences played no part in why and how they got to where they were. What if a person with tons of sexual experience isn't satisfied not because their partner is bad but because they cant live up to the wild sex they had when they were younger, what if the sex they had was bad when they were single and wild but now the partner they've figured out they want isnt interested in someone with that much experience. If people lived completely different lifestyles, where they were abstinent until marriage, I assume would have completely different outcomes, to just say all divorced people would have been divorced anyway so its better to be promiscuous is a big ass leap if I ever saw one.
You're talking about the issues of making premarital sex immoral like we haven't had thousands of years of highly religious societies enforcing that moral onto their populace already to know that it works out better than the hedonistic social experiment currently playing out in the west. The real underlying problem is that the western world became smart enough to see through the lies religions pushed but not to the extent of understanding the reason those lies were being pushed in the first place. So all the morals tested by time that have been collected by the various religions as bullet points for a successful society have been thrown out as a bunch of baseless lies and replaced by nothing. The way I see it the religious bandaid was ripped off too soon and too quickly because outside of religious indoctrination tricking the masses of idiots into doing whats best for them there is no means to do that. So now the masses of idiots are having a bunch of hedonistic no strings attached sex with people they barely know until they can't be satisfied with a single partner and if they do make a stab at settling down its doomed to result in a broken family because of that. Destiny is the shining example of this which makes his appearance on this panel a pretty self defeating one if you ask me.
@Chairman Pooh Bear I guess making big ass leaps are something we have in common then. I never said that failed marriages were DESTINED to fail. Would you agree that taking the time to know the person you vow to spend the rest of your life with leads to better average incomes than making a decison almost immediately, independently of you having sex or not? Because my point is only that labelling premarital sex as immoral leads to decisions being made much faster, that's all. I sure am glad i didn't get married to my firstadolescent love for the sake of us being comfortable having sex. And on your point about the partner you want to spend you life with being uninterested in someone with "that much experience", I don't really have much of an argument against it, but as I said, I find it disappointing that both sides are using this as an argument either to say "more experience is better to see if you are sexually compatible" or "more experience is bad as your partner could reject you based on your body count". To each their own, maybe it's just me but it didn't matter much in the choice of my partner past a few experiences together to see how we're doing together in the bedroom. All i was saying is that i strongly agree with the morally neutral position defended by Destiny and his buddy, but dislike the way they argue their point.
Andrew: how many times should you have sex before marriage to determine sexual compatibility. Give an exact number. Steven: [Gives number] Andrew: wtf, why are you giving an exact number? Why not [another large number]?
These types of people simultaneously place a massive emphasis on sex while also stating that it doesn't matter. You have to be married to have sex because it's so special and "sacred", but it doesn't matter if the sex sucks because sex isn't important. Huh?
"We don't know what your talking about, meaning we win the debate since we don't have to engage with things we don't understand " Most telling moment of the debate lol
"Do you think a woman is more likely to find the partner she wants by sleeping with 100 men or zero men " You know what. Genuinely. For non Christian males and non Christian females...I would imagine the typical guy would find both extremes equally hard to overcome
I mean if you want a serious answer to the question we have statistics, destiny watches enough red pill content to know what the answer is. Justpearlythings brings it up all the time, women who have had sex with over 5 men, not even double digits just 5, already have a statistical disadvantage when it comes to both getting and maintaining relationships both because men are less interested in women who have been ran through and women have less ability to pair bond the more sex they have, because they chemically bond to people. The most successful marriages are ones where both people are virgins.
@@lifeyoushouldtryit that is just statistically not true not to mention there is literally no proof of causation. Virgins in marriage are more likely to be religious and THAT is why they don't get divorced. Your stat about 5 is totally untrue. All the stats point to anything under 7 is insignificant. Less than 7 partners and it has a neglible statistical impact
@@lifeyoushouldtryit you should ask youserlf why though. It really looks like a situation of "Ignorance is bliss", it's hard to believe so many virgin couples just happen to find their other half when it comes to sex life. If you've never tried good sex, it's very hard to spot bad sex.
@@Lollonman1 You realize that sexual satisfaction is a subjective chemical reaction that happens in your brain yes? You realize that a woman who has BBC gangbangs and a woman having slow missionary sex with her 5in husband can have the exact same level of orgasmic pleasure despite completely different sexual behaviors yes? You seem not to understand sex at all. You seem to think there is some hierarchy of sexual pleasure that no one is having “good sex” until they have a bbc gangbang
@@Lollonman1 It's just lower standards and expectations, the people having a lot of sex aren't on a race to the bottom finding the most atrocious people to have sex with, they're trying to do better and better each time. So after enough times your standards and expectations for someone you'd spend your life with are so unrealistically high that you're unlikely to ever have a successful lifelong relationship. Every person you're intimate with will be lesser than previous partners in some way, and you'll always have that voice in the back of your mind telling you that you can and have done better leading you to be unsatisfied with them.
What I very much dislike is that there are claims to defend either side, but I really feel as though Andrew's arguments really boil down to sex being some sacred thing that needs to be held to a super high regard because of his religious beliefs. I wouldnt be suprised if he believes there should be legal restrictions on certain forms of sex as he holds it in such high regard
The one thing that I'm hung up on, the left handed side of the debate is Sex is most likely the cause of a marriage failing or succeeding. When although it is a factor that same way protein is a factor in a food pyramid, I would not say it is ALWAYS the top concern or the foundation. Sex can make a marriage better, but bad to no sex can also be the result of strain in another area. Some individuals use sex as a reward or bargaining chip, others keep is completely out of those equations. BUT if there's hurt feelings, poor communication, lack of consideration or any other host of issues... the sex life could suffer and then cause a ton of other problems. The problem with a debate like this is that there are so many factors that go into the smallest part of a sexual relationship or marriage, there would be no way to see completely eye to eye when everyone has varying views.
I’m a Southern Baptist, one of the more conservative denominations out there… this conversation was brutal. Failing to understand your point on “sexual comparability” simply seemed like bad faith on their part
They should have stuck to the argument that everything else is more important and that sex matters can be resolved after marriage trough practice, communication, counseling, therapy and surgery anyway. Also I believe the sexual compatibility question is just an excuse and a bad faith attempt at undermining a complete package deal based on priorities far above sexual compatibility. But yeah, what's the point of having a debate then?
An important point to remember about the high divorce rate: a divorce rate of 50% is a lot scarier than it looks, because many unhappy couples choose not to get divorced for multiple reasons (money, kids, etc.). So while the divorce rate might be 50%, the actual number of UNHAPPY, UNSATISFIED marriages is a lot higher! This is very important when considering why marriage is a bad idea (which I think it is).
Andrew properly angers me, he's so passively annoying, I want to vent my anger but youtube wouldn't allow my thoughts in a comment. Edit: got to later in the video, zen too.
2:00:45 Entire argument essentially conceded and you can see it in Destiny's instant reaction lol. He just threw away his whole foundation of "more marriage = good. Therefore: goal = reduce risk of divorce". Next time just say "All that matters is my christian moral code and nothing that goes against that will change my mind", if you're going to literally just advocate against reducing divorce risk solely because it clashes with your christian moral code. He argued against his own source more than it ever helped his argument lmao. Someone call a doctor, because Zen just overdosed on copium live in 16K ultra HD 120fps HDR with fucking Dolby Atmos.
This is SO funny, Andrew clearly is the WORST as sex and just cannot process that he's bad at it and refuses to believe it's a reason for his divorce. Secondly, the fact that he kept saying "we" when the dude on the bottom knows what's going on is so funny, he is just bad and sex, inexperienced, and can't comprehend that women, or anyone in general, wants good sex that he just cannot provide
Andrew in a nut shell "Look all a man needs is a willing partner, but for women its more complicated. If the women never find out it could be good its a win win for everybody!" Baised
“Do you BPF take this woman…” “Oh shit. One second father….Honey I forgot to ask - you down with blowies, dirty talk, reverse cowgirl, Marlboro Man role play right ?!“
There are weight classes for a reason, and Destiny isn't stupid and on a suicide mission. Even though he knows he can't beat a lot of his opposition in a fight, he will still speak his mind and his opinions. Which is respectable.
Car analogy elicited an awesome answer from Zen Shapiro: "How to know how a car drives without test driving it?" anser: "Well you talk to other people who have driven it." But in this analogy no one has ever driven that car, it refuses test drives before marriage and society should frown on test driving in general. Worse yet, all cars are individuals. You can't draw any conclusions from other people's comments about test drives of similar cars since they might be the same color, same length, same type, but drive completely differently in the bedroom.
yup agreed, and the house analogy of like touring the house is like dating and then marriage is buying the house was braindead. because in this example the abstinence would be you like driving by it at a distance and buying like "well yeah i can see the garage and I see the door and I know i am compatible with the house." dating and courting someone has almost nothing to do with how the sex will be.
Car is an object, people are not objects. A car can be returned or exchanged at any time when you decide you don´t like it. It has no feelings, it can´t get hurt or disappointed, it can´t get pregnant... there is very little negative consequences for testing and then abandoning a car. Relationships are complex, people are complex and using car analogy, no matter how well intended oversimplifies things and makes it seem like people are objects. That is dehumanizing.
Funny how its always religious men arguing womens' "sexual market value" in these kinds of debates. You never see this type of take being used in womens' spaces towards men. Someone's past shouldn't affect how one treats their current partner, emotionally and sexually. It shouldn't matter. They don't care if men sleep around, but the second a woman does suddenly she's unworthy of marriage. I'm not a full-on atheist, but I feel that religion, especially Christianity/Catholicism, is inherently misogynistic brainrot. This is coming from someone who was baptised and raised Catholic, and has disowned this faith due to growing tired of seeing women's bodies and sexuality being treated as nothing more than objects of desire. A woman's purpose isn't to please a man.
Destiny's opponents are terrible debaters so I'll make their point for them. Destiny says it's not a compromise if you have to go without something you want forever without anything in return, in this case blowjobs. The proper response is how does a person have any justification to leave a marriage where they have good communication, are emotionally supportive, maybe have kids, enjoy the same activities, share similar senses of humor etc just because of a desire to have a blowjob? Isn't that reflective of a really bad set of values, preferring something that is such a small aspect of a marriage and not being able to see all the other goods provided?
@@r1seplayr529 I just having trouble understanding why. Sex is mostly emotional (trust/communication), that doesn't need to come from sexual intimacy. It comes from proximity, frequency of interactions and overcoming shared adversity. The actual mechanistic portion of sex can be learned over a few sessions with a partner interested in learning, or at the very least just use toys. This shouldn't be so hard.
The real answer if you walk it all the way down in a relationship, is that if someone puts up walls with an excuse that is very likely going to be, "I'm not doing that because I don't want to", then you very likely don't have the idyllic relationship you described. If they aren't going to budge on something like fellatio, they're probably also not going to budge on certain types of chores, or maybe they refuse to do a certain type of activity, etc.. Even if they have a better reason, well then that either begs the question of what trauma/abuse did they face that made fellatio unacceptable which is something that's going to affect the relationship in other ways, or if it's something that can be argued about then a real compromise can be reached(i.e. only once in a while/no cumming on my face/no swallowing/you have to have better hygiene so it doesn't stink, so on so forth) The meaner response would be that if everything is so perfect and they're such a perfect mate, then why should they care if their partner gets a blowjob from someone else? After all, if it's such a small aspect of marriage and every other good is being provided for why should they care if they're not the one handling something so small?
@@r1seplayr529 That's crazy bullshit. If you can stick your penis into vagina you ARE sexually compatibile. Now, what you're talking about is whether u have simmilar sexual desires, which are not the same as sexual needs. Sexual desires such as having blow job, anal, threesomes, aren't natural needs and they exist only because people keep feeding their brains with certain fetishes. It's not a sexual need wanting to have a blowjob it's just temporary desire that you cultivate because you've watched too much porn and now you have certain expectations on which you don't want to give up, because you believe in fake concept that desires=needs. Humans aren't sexual toys that are there to fullfill your desires, ( That is NOT a purpose of your sexual partner, not really) that's a very dehumanizing concept that most people buy into.
Nearly 20 minutes in and the anti pre marital sex side have still not given a single reason why they hold their position other than "marriage good, mkay"
Follow the science . A study published in the Journal of Sex Research on August 26 indicates that free love and godless sex may not be as great as once advertised. Sex engaged in by religious married couples is reportedly more satisfying, particularly for married women with strong religious associations.
Lack of sexual chemistry is not perpetually irreparable. You can't tell me you'll be with someone for 50 years and not learn how their body works over time. Also, there's people that you'll have great sex with who are absolute disasters as a long term partner
Ugh man I don’t know, it’s hard. Yeah if you really work hard at it it will become better but I think there are some people who are just wrong for you. My last relationship crashed literally because of that. We could not have good sex and it ruined everything else. We’d hang out all day every day have the best time and then I’d almost cry in frustration when we’d try to fuck or at even get really steamy. It was brutal.
Lol saying the same thing as the christians in a few more steps and it's receptive here. It's almost like when it not explicitly presented in a debate its obvious
Lack of sexual chemistry is not NECESSARILY perpetually irreparable but it can be. And the point is that you more than likely won’t be with someone for 50 years if you’re perpetually sexually incompatible.
I started playing basketball with a new friend and we want to explore our options in pick and roll. Should we discuss about it and hope it works in game, or should we actually both discuss it, try it a few times in practice, find out what his preferences are when cutting inside, or if he likes to shoot etc. and then try it in game?
@@KennyBare That's probably because of this exact kinda stigma. It's self fulfilling, when you clowns say a higher body count is bad and then only justify it or explain by repeating yourselves. Why is it bad for both partners to have previous experience in one of the most crucial aspects to an adult relationship? Because one partner has been socially conditioned to have his fee fees hurt? Come on now
“The game” in terms of marriage lasts for the rest of their lives. There’s plenty of time to fix whatever the problems are. If we’re being honest here, if a couple love each other in every other way and didn’t have sex yet, they’re going to figure out how to make the sex work. I don’t see people trying to have kids before marriage just to see how compatible they are as parents. It’s something that works out as long as there is proper love.
Why do these internet Christians curse so much? I can’t figure out how you can argue so strongly against premarital sex and porn but then chain smoke and drop f-bombs.
I wonder if it comes down to their interpretation of the salvation theology. Protestants believe in the death of Jesus for the remission of all their sins, so as long as they don't go " too far," and have faith in Christ, they're good. And catholics believe that as long as they get to the confession booth, and recite their Hail Mary's afterwords, they're a clean slate. These dudes are Americans who converted to Eastern Orthodoxy, and I'm alot less familiar with that sect, but it can't be too different. I guess it all comes down to hypocrisy
I don't understand how BPF doesn't see the contradiction between him arguing that there's much more to a relationship than sex, while he still claims that there's no point to Destiny's marriage if they're not sexually exclusive. The latter implies that the former either isn't true. If he acknowledges that there is much more than sex to a marriage, then what's his confusion?
I think its more a matter of establishing trust and communication. Sex can be really awful if the people involved don’t communicate their preferences. There is also some risk involved in having sex too early. It can give a false sense of attachment and connection. This can lead to people staying in toxic relationships because they want to keep having sex. Establishing trust and open communication first before having sex will prevent a lot of issues that may arise from having sex.
Absolutely, yes, but this is not at all relevant to the conversation. You’re giving an argument/advice on how to have sex. Not whether it is moral or not to have sex.
For some reason these guys really like defending their position by "that's wrong because she can lie" and later on they're saying "okay, but let's assume she's honest." I didn't know that was allowed in a debate.
This is why while I have been pushed away from The Left™, I want very little to do with The Right™. These dorks are insufferable. Christian models on relationships repulse me.
The fact that a person with no prior partners is less likely to divorce doesn’t prove anything. Not having any prior partners also speak of an inexperience when it comes to relationships, which in itself could lead to a person not knowing when to divorce.
I'm a DGGer so I would never have premarital sex. Or any kind for that matter.
Wtf is a DDGer?
@@FazeParticles Desparato Dice Grandparent I think
@@FazeParticles destiny groyper gang
@@uchi8699 literally true at this point
@@Sprite_525 lol
When Andrew said he didn’t know what sexual compatibility was, I knew this was going to be a great panel
And followed it up with not understanding the point of marriage past sex.
I thought his next sentence was going to be. "And can you guys explain what a vagina is?"
@@chpgmr1372 no, his point was that because destiny is in an open relationship he doesn't see the point in destiny being married
@@Sprite_525 What? Why would the relationship be just about sex and at the same time sexual compatibility is not important? Your "chad" meme example makes no sense. It's the dem guys who made seem like marriage was just about sex.
I think some of you leftist have been brainwashed by to much fetish porn, as long as two adults are healthy, they are sexually compatible, unless one of them has some super specific fetish that their marriage partner can't or won't do.
@@chpgmr1372 Seems like it's the other side that thought that way, with their obsession over sexual compatibility.
Takeaway:
The higher body count a woman has, the likelier it is that she'll recognize Destiny is a girl's name.
Cretaceous Pappadeaux*
Destiny is a brave and powerful woman for debating against a predominantly male panel. You can also tell she loves black people by how she talks to Pedro. I have so much respect for her.
Fr
Rub your hands long nose tribe member, we all know you want to subvert and distort reality
amazin
@@fearfx1 it’s a meme lil boi
@@Kerlus okie thank gosh
to sum up this convo.
Destiny: Sexual compatibilty is important in every relationship
Andrew: what is that?
Destiny: its when wahmn are so disgusting and vulgar that you give up on your self respect and start an open relationship with someone 10+ years younger than you
@Chilly destiny got a divorce and is now with someone 10 years younger than him who has nothing in common wth him except loving being the center of attention. Destiny is the last person on the planet who should argue about a relationship with anybody.
@@notallowedtobehonest2539 Sounds like she was incompatible. I should think divorcees are in a particularly good position to talk about the importance of not marrying too blindly.
Thank you. I’m not watching this.
@@saerain yes, a typical left wing strategy. Give something an undefined meaning and overuse it. She wasnt COMPATIBLE. Its for EQUITY. The food is ORGANIC. The oil isnt SUSTAINABLE. The workers are ESSENTIAL.
After listening to Andrew’s ideas on sex I am completely unsurprised he is divorced.
So you agree with andrew that being divorced is a bad thing?
@@davidfosford for his ex wife, no
@@gonzo7758 the gold comment lol
@@gonzo7758 based on his original comment divorce is a bad thing, since he is using it to shame andrew
@@davidfosford the debate clearly concluded that it can be both a good and a bad thing
“I don’t even know what sexual compatibility is!”
Well… it explains a lot, doesn’t it? 😔
I'm fairly sure that Red Pill types see sex as something you do to women..
Like destiny said it’s either incredibly bad faith or incredibly sad and it’s not clear which it is
@@jshv73 initially I was struggling to identify that… then I remembered these guys are “orthodox Christians” of the internet type and as such I have no doubt: bad faith, condescending pricks.
Sexual compatibility is not as profound as you guys think. Sexual compatibility is a poorly defined thing. Sex itself is pretty basic. Sexual compatibility assumes that everyone has engrained sex habits and can’t adapt to a partners needs.
I think sexual compatibility makes sense only to lefty porn addicted young men that all relationships need to be “sexually compatible”, ie. I need to be able to act out my porn induced fetishes with my gf.
For normal men, an attractive bodied women with a pleasant personality is all that is needed for “sexual compatibility”. The rest is about male performance and female rejection.
@@dickdrapper5491 wow, such a sad sexual perspective!
Maybe you should grow up a little and gain some actual experience and then try to propose this argument again.
(Yes, I am assuming you are both young and inexperienced in sex and general eroticism).
As a woman it is so sad to see men genuinely not seem to believe that women could have a higher sex drive than their male partner. It's not a freakish outlier, many of my friends and I have had issues with this
Wait if the woman is attractive I'm fairly sure the average dude would have a very large libido for her, the issue changes when she's not attractive
No many of your friends have porn addicted boyfriends who are splooging to high definition twerking fat azzes. Normal non-porn addict men Have higher sex drives than women 90% of the time
All anyone needz to do is go to the dead bedrooms subreddit. Close to half the posters are women complaining about lack of sex.
@@greasy8394 ☕👸
I was cracking up at that part. My wife has always had a higher sex drive than me, I’m good for once a day, she could go several times a day. I recognize that might not be the majority, but it’s certainly common
The Christian guys are unironically proving destiny's point for them and they can't even see it
@@kara5202 I 100% would bet money that if having to choose between a girl with 4 partners and a virgin. The vast majority of men would choose 4 partners
@@kara5202 No, we dont want a woman who has been with more than 5 partners. Women just dont understand how much man values sexual purity.
@@anubisgod23 CAP. Especially if you are a religious man you wouldn't choose that. Even these Rich powerful and famous dudes always choose younger women not only because they are more attractive but because they have way less experience.
@@moisesinfantes2797 less experience is a distinct negative to non Christian males.
@@anubisgod23 It's not only Christians but Jews, Muslims, and in many other asian and African cultures and relgions it is a requirement or expected for people to marry virgins. The whole deal with the sexual revolution is just something very western and it only started like 50 years ago.
Destiny is actually a really patient person, good job boss man
least in the bubble destiny fan
if you show this to anyone who don't know anyone here the majority of people will say zen and andrew are more right
@@fawaz2771 Not true. I didn't know any of these guys and the christian guys are completely insufferable.
They aren't even arguing the decent points for their side effectively
@@fawaz2771anyone where? An evangelical church service??? Most people believe in sexual compatibility and most people have premarital sex.
Can we acknowledge how laughable the idea is that these inexperienced sexual puritans are going to have these perfectly honest and expressive, detailed conversations about sexual preferences before ever touching each other? I know very sexually liberal and experienced people who aren’t comfortable spilling the beans on their kinks and preferences until they actually have a sort of sexual rapport with their current partner, and been introduced to each others bodies and vibes. It’s so hilariously delusional to think that these conversations really happen in even a fraction of abstinent relationships.
You are not supposed to have "kinks". Those are bad things. Those are perversions.
@@andymkay lol prepare for angry replies from all the perverts
@@andymkay why would it be bad for two consenting adults who are in a relationship, to pursue bdsm for instance?
@@karsten9387 its to do with religion
@@karsten9387 I think it depends on the level, so to speak, that you are speaking of, you can't really apply a blanket view on bdsm. Some of it is likely fine, but even if you consent to something it doesn't' mean it's good for you. You can both consent to taking heroin with each other, it doesn't mean that, this is a good idea. The need, or want, to pursue more extreme acts of bdsm, is almost exclusively going to come from some sort of trauma, particularly during childhood. After instances of being abused, as humans we often subconsciously overcompensate, rather than facing the issue, we subconsciously pretend that we were a willing participant rather than a victim (Again particularly if the trauma was during childhood), and engaging in that sort of behaviour, is not healthy, you should face the issue through counselling etc, rather than deepening the root of the issue, by acting out a false persona, that was caused by the abuse.
And for more lighter forms of bdsm, most people are going to be fine with, and even if they are not at first, that is something you can realistically compromise on, or work out together etc.
BPF's intro was enough to understand that his engagement with sex is virgin-tier. Holy shit...
The chat reaction is damn legendary.
Edit : 6:40
NO PREMARITAL!!! 😠 I’m serious…
@@JesusOrDestruction I can't tell if this is sarcastic 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Na don't shame virgins. Shame a lack of education and religious indoctrination
@@tabbymoonshine5986 who's talking here about shaming virgins??
Anybody who says they’ve never had bad sex is either lying or has been lied to
Or they've never had sex.
Anyone who says they’ve never had bad sex has actually never had good sex.
Or they last for 15 seconds, and that's good for them.
Or they’ve had sex very few times and have gotten lucky or some shit
Or they've _only_ had bad sex, and therefore have shitty metrics.
"Good sex is incredibly broad and differs from person to person"
*Yes* so shouldn't people make sure they end up with partners with whom they share a similar idea of what good sex is?
It’s crazy how he provided the qualifying statement that supports having premarital sex
I'm a man so if I finish, it was fine. I am not more or less fulfilled by whether or not we had longer or more exciting sex. Maybe I'm an autist but I get more long term fulfillment from art and athletics and religion than I do from lights out sex. And no, I'm not a virgin lol
@@KennyBare you’re just wanking with a girls body at that point
Like mr girl
@@KennyBare "lights out sex..." Well there's your problem. Turn on the lights, put some mirrors up, and make it actually fulfilling.
Also, a fulfilling life outside of bed doesn't mean life in bed sucks. These are not exclusive factors of life.
@@ilovecoffeev and actually view my face in the mirror during copulation?
Zen: "Good Christian girls will typically not want rough and or kinky sex"
Okay dude, keep telling yourself that lol
Was hard to tell who was more naive, him or BPF
Never been with a Christian girl but from my experience, heavily religious girls can become total freaks in the bedroom once they are comfortable enough to let the “good girl” façade go
They're the ones that want it the most lmao
They be the biggest freaks
A lot of that is going to come from the amount of a abuse in the catholic church, and by extension the catholic community (The Catholic church, changed a lot in the bible, including that priests etc were not allowed to take wives, which I can explain in more detail, but that sparked the problems with abuse) Women who are abused, particularly at a young age, often become extremely sexual, because they are essentially, subconsciously overcompensating, rather than facing the trauma, they convince themselves that they are just extremely sexual, so they act out the behaviours of that persona. It's why most sex workers were abused at some point.
In regards to rough sex, well that could possibly just be that a lot religious texts, talk about the man being the leading person in the relationship, so by extension, I suppose that could lead to them wanting a more dominant sexual partner.
Kinky is a very broad term, and I haven't got as far into the video as this yet, but it depends what you mean, but within reason, nearly all guys are going to be into rough sex, and be fine with kinky sex to a degree. And if it's that unusual, it's most likely coming from a severe psychological issue, from abuse, so you should probably go to couples therapy for that.
their answer is simple. if you lost your virginity, then just go find it
simple
Lmao
As a guy listening to these conservatives, I feel bad for any woman they date. They seem to either not understand or don't care about the sexual happiness in their relationship. It's mind blowing their incapable of understanding basic ideas and thoughts.
EDIT: I got to the point where the conservative dropped "If they've never had sex before they won't know it's bad." Okay, I can't finish this because it's physically painful.
Ended too early. Around 1:30:00 destiny finally reads the study they linked about sexual partners and divorce. watching zen get destroyed trying to defend the data made it worth. But yea this debate was particularly hard to get through
Edit: 2:00:16 is particularly fantastic
@@Sarsaparillamann Ok, maybe I'll finish it then lol
@@Sarsaparillamann you legend, I was struggling real hard on this one.
Even worse, think about the world view of conservative women. They are just fucked.
They clearly care about the women in other aspects, why is sex the only thing that is important. If a man treats a woman well and makes her happy but falls short in the bedroom why is he seen as a problem and why is she seen as a victim in your eyes.
The worst part is Andrew and Zen both know that Destiny and PFW are clearly correct, but they have to spill spaghetti everywhere in embarrassing ways to defend their initial point.
The best & most mature thing they could’ve done is say “Ya know you’re probably right, but I’m a Christian and believe it’s a sin”
Imo the best argument is "you should only engage in sex with people you intend to form a marriage/long term relationship with". You could argue casual attitudes toward sex detracts from how special it "should" be. But when you axiomatically have to argue that you HAVE you wait until after marriage, you're stuck arguing half true things for wrong reasons.
Not that I care if people fuck around or don't. To each their own.
how could Destiny be right when he contradicts the teaching of the Church and the Bible?
No he isn't, you can learn about your partners sexual preferences before you have sex with them, and if the sex is not good you can better, if you love each you can learn to please each other.
@@_khaine How could
Christ be wrong when he contradicts the teachings of the Mosque and Qur'an?
@@ibot2157 but how are you meant to know what you really enjoy sexually if you're not allowed to have sex before marriage? So how can you be completely honest about whether or not you'll be sexually compatible with your future wife if you've never experienced a sexual relationships. There are some people that are into rough sex and some people that aren't. What if your future partner says they're into choking and you think you might enjoy it but then realise the actual act of doing it is a massive turn off for you leading to the sex not being fun for one of the partners half the time.
Zen not grasping sexual compatibility and just keeping it to the physical organs is both hilarious and frustrating. I'd say it was innocent or naive if he didn't keep defaulting to that every time he was uncomfortable answering a hypothetical
There is no such thing as sexual compatibility you're brainwashed if you think that's an important criteria for marriage then you're deluded people who say this think about sex and bombarded with pathetic sexual genre
@@raghavnamasivayam8706 that's a lot of words just to say that you've never been touched by a woman that wasn't your mother
@@dirtydan5326 that's a null argument bring an argument or don't
We don't see sleeping around as a way to think that you'll somehow know yourself sexually and we aren't man whores either
If we go by your logic then we should be having sex with people of different sexuality before finding a partner to be sexually compatible with which only leads to degeneracy
Dumb thinking without proper understanding
@@dirtydan5326 well nope I don't sleep with random stranger whom they have just met like in the west and we don't see that as a sign of masculinity like it is seen in the west
@@dirtydan5326 Yeah he gave me 45 paragraphs too, my bet is 37 year old incel never spoken to a woman before
The guy that believes people should abstain before marriage also believes that two people can sit down and discuss sexual preferences and gauge compatibility without EVER having sex.
I'm surprised nobody commented on that gaffe, try to make him explain how he could explain how he likes his pizza if he has never tasted pizza or it's individual ingredients in the past.
A study published in the Journal of Sex Research on August 26 indicates that free love and godless sex may not be as great as once advertised. Sex engaged in by religious married couples is reportedly more satisfying, particularly for married women with strong religious associations.
@@Yoyod000 Go reread your study, its not "particularly" for married women - its only for married women. The study found no link between religion and sexual satisfaction for men. In fact the study found that SINGLE religious men have more sexual satisfaction than married religious men
@Cosipurple I know, it's so stupid. It would be like two people having a conversation about their favourite country to holiday in, except neither person has been abroad, they've just watched some travel shows
@@Yoyod000 of course a religious zealot would say this lol.
@@andrewcox5873 how though? If they're religious they would not be sexually satisfied because of chastity
Destiny: Why are religious people sinning more than non-religious people?
Andrew: Because Satan tempts them more
Actual genius.
If a big characteristic of evil is corrupting that which is good then wouldn’t it make sense that satan targets Christian’s.
@@Lizard_kang Sure, but if Christians sin more than atheists as a result of that, then Christianity is making the world a more sinful place, thus making the teachings of the religion pointless. Kind of a self-own there
@@kingcheesus7591 I don’t remember if Andrew was actually saying that Christian’s sin more overall. But i would say that they are probably tempted more but not sinning more.
@@kingcheesus7591 I also probably should have worded my original comment better. If someone is a “good Christian” then of course they are going to be able to fight off sin much more effectively.but, If someone ties them self to a moral ideology like Christianity but are weak and immoral in practice then by the nature of reality that dissonance in them is going to cause more corruption rather than someone who is sinful but more consistent in their worldview.
The question itself is flawed. What statistic is there to demonstrate that religious people sin more than non-religious people?
Destiny could have walked them all to the conclusion of this argument in under 30 min. Respect him letting these guys duke it out tho
You're right but Andrew seems so bad faith that he would've walked right into the conclusion and claimed the opposite.
Is it just me or has the TH-cam content been flowing nonstop lately? Good stuff
Destiny may have missed Zen saying something important very early in the conversation. He said something to the effect of "happiness not being the measurement of good." These guys believe societal stability is better than the right to individuals seeking happiness. There's no moving them off these opinions. They argue from their deontological positions.
So this came out recently and it makes lots of sense. If you have only had sex with one person than your proply pretty happy with it .
A study published in the Journal of Sex Research on August 26 indicates that free love and godless sex may not be as great as once advertised. Sex engaged in by religious married couples is reportedly more satisfying, particularly for married women with strong religious associations.
Pretty much every society is built on that foundation, sweets will make someone happy but you can't just keep feeding them to your kid
@@fiachracasey7625 Sweets are different from an individual being fulfilled and happy in general. A child can find something else to eat that'll make them happy. But disregarding ones individuality for societal "good" will lead to more consequences, not just unhappiness, also mental illness.
@@avacadocap9591 when you get older you realise happiness isn't a period in life, being happy is fleeting. Chasing "happiness" is pointless, a good life is full of activities that may not be pleasant but make you whole and fulfilled. Disregarding ones individuality by telling them they can't or shouldn't drive drunk, do heroin, I doubt most of these things are a net negative
@@fiachracasey7625 Happiness is a moment that comes and goes, much like anger, regret and sadness, it is a state of mind. Tell me, would you like to live in a world that will be much disregarding of your individuality as a person? You tell me. Or do you believe you have non, therefore it wouldn't be a problem for you? If it's the latter, I can then say it is your business not mine and I don't have to do the same as you.
I feel so bad for that dudes poor unsatisfied wife lmao. “ hi honey I’m here for my afternoon delight”
fuck thats grim
“Not all sex has to be an hours long extravaganza, whatever happened to walking in the room doing your business and being done in a minute” could these guys view of sex sound any more bleak. Those poor wives
A study published in the Journal of Sex Research on August 26 indicates that free love and godless sex may not be as great as once advertised. Sex engaged in by religious married couples is reportedly more satisfying, particularly for married women with strong religious associations.🤔 saw this today
@@Yoyod000 I'm not sure if this sort of study is trust worthy. maried woman are more likely to gain by lying about this, or experience self delusions
@@rumplespewskin6718men and women think about sex very differently.
if you had few partners and Don t watch porn you will have less to compare it to . thus will be happier because you dont know what you may or may not be missing.
Chasing sexual desire is a well that will never fill you.
They keep saying zero sexual partners means you’re less likely to get divorced.
I think it’s important to point out that a person who was a virgin until marriage is most likely religious and therefore more willing to suffer through a bad marriage than get divorced.
If that woman hasn’t been abused but just doesn’t enjoy the sex, she’s more likely than a non-religious person to just settle with never having sex again because she doesn’t want to sin against god.
Good. Everything else is more important anyway.
Also goes with 'you dont know what you dont know.'
Also, they don't know if the sex they are having is good, because they have only had sex with a single person
thank you
@@chpgmr1372 and you never shine if you don't glow
Zen Shapiro is wild for thinking you can just ask a chick questions then marry her and find out as opposed to finding out before marriage.Don’t get married until you know what you are dealing with. And never even think of marriage without living with her.
That last point is actually very true. The tiny annoyances you have with a partner are magnified 100 fold when you're stuck in a house with them for the rest of your life lol
I knew a girl in college who was "waiting til marriage". She wasn't Christian and was actually pretty edgy. I could believe she would be willing to talk bout sex with a partner prior to getting married. We actually argued about pre-marital sex once, it clearly wasn't something she wasn't comfortable with.
The opposite of your last point is actually true. Cohabitation before marriage is associated with far higher chances of divorce. The best reason I can come up with for why that’s the case is that it treats the significant other as a temporary/trial spouse. You’re sending the message that you would rather live with this person than be alone, but you don’t have the respect to make an actual commitment. In that relationship you’re living as if you’re married while always leaving the option to leave open.
@@trent20817 I think it may actually be due to the fact that breaking up when you live together is harder to do. You’ve intertwined your whole existence so much that it’s easier to convince yourself the relationship is fine than to go through the trouble of separating finances, deciding who gets to keep the dog, etc.
Somebody needs to explain to these people the difference between compromise and sacrifice
To them, God sacrificing His Son was just a compromise with Satan.
@@ilovecoffeev umm no? It was not a compromise, it was set up as a strategy to "Deliverance" not compromise, if it was a compromise it would've- (at least I think)- been a different story.
@@ilovecoffeev wouldn't it be a compromise with us, his creations not Satan?
@@disclaimer4211 ah right. He had to save us from himself by sacrificing Himself to Himself, otherwise He would have required Himself to damn His greatest Creation.
It's great how y'all actually believe that actually happened, and will then quote verses like, "the Lord is not the author of confusion."
Within the concept of a marriage, are not all sacrifices, at least potentially a part of a larger compromise, even if not a direct compromise ? Could you give the example, as I can't quite remember what it was ?
I was in a relationship for 8 years, starting in 2011. I loved her, but ignored our sexual differences. We were engaged when things fell apart. We are still friends and both acknowledge our individual failings in the relationship.
This is not rocket science my dudes
Are you me??
You say it's not rocket science when you spent 8 years not getting it. I don't think you get to be smug my man.
Sexual incompatibility doesn't exist unless you literally cannot fit, which is exceedingly rare
@@basedmod2139 This is exactly something a virgin would say.
@@abbeyprice7413 Perhaps it's possible that there are guys who are just sexuality repulsive to a certain portion of the female population, and this is only discovered after sex. But fr dawg? Name one time you haven't gotten along with a woman sexually
Is premarital sex OK?
Liberal : A'OK
conservative: N'OK
Centrist Monster: It depends...
Bro when he said women could lie about their sex drive as a way to debunk sexual compatibility I can already tell this isn't going to go well.
Right, as if you could have frequent sex with a woman for two years straight in the dating phase and as soon as the wedding day arrives she doesn’t want it anymore. That’s an impossibly long con lol
It feels like they have no clue when a woman is really into the sex vs not being into sex.
@@Killerkiki313 actually wrong. What if the woman just wants your assets or the security you offer? At that point she could and would utilize sex as a manner of getting to a certain goal. I'm just playing devil's advocate. Moreover sexual compatibility changes over time
@@roycereeves5456 A woman having enthusiastic sex with a guy every other day for two years? I guess I’m just incredulous about this. Unless the man is not paying even a modicum of attention, there’s no way a woman can fake that well for that long.
@@Killerkiki313 I'm sorry but where did I say enthusiastic sex I just said she is having sex everyday. That in no way means she is truly invested. Now if it is enthusiastic sex that is a whole other factor in the equation
I had the worst sexual chemistry ever with the guy I adored the most in high school, I can't imagine how bad the sex is for these guy's wives if they can't even wrap their head around the notion of sexual compatibility or chemistry.
Kevin's shirt is very nice.
The blue shirt guys opening statement about not understanding sexual comparability outside of sexual organs made me feel so bad for his missus
It's like Ben Shapiro's WAP moment - you can tell so much about what goes on behind closed doors in these men's sex lives just from indirect statements like that.
@@johnaslanis4424 you can tell a bit of what goes on, and a TON about what doesn't occur behind those doors.
True matching energy is sooo important
I’ll treat you right Chiyori, send me your info…😎
Debates with these religious types never go anywhere. It's not even interesting disagreements, just "sex bad, women sex more bad, but marriage good".
I love how there's a 20+ minute segment called "Destiny explains PIV"
Did BPF even know what the initial hypotheticals were about? BPF and Zen were arguing that high body count is bad on the sexual marketplace and Destiny and Alex were asking about Premarital sex before marriage with said person. I'm 1 hour in and it's like following 2 debates at the same time.
BPF wasn’t even listening 70% of the time. Just repeating rhetoric over and over. I’m actually getting frustrated trying to listen to the debate because he derails the conversation whenever a good analogy is made. Then tries to make some elementary level joke to Zen and they both just mic spam until Destiny stops talking lol just them trying to explain sexual compatibility and Andrew realizing what they meant and being intentionally obtuse to be funny almost made me cut it off
Anyone who has ever been in a long term relationship knows that good sex releases a lot of tension. Especially after an argument or a disagreement. And it doesn’t have to be an hour long, it just has to be intimate and enjoyed by both parties involved.
The ldea that these guys thought hours long sex was synonymous with good sex, was concerning
@@andrewcox5873 just shows how little they know about sex honestly.
This is a perfect example of why you shouldn't just loosely cite studies without fully reading the analysis.
ikr, zen's argument for the entire video "source? trust me"
"A woman can pretend that she's enjoying the hell out of any of the sex you're having pre-marriage"
- 😵
I guess he knows from experience now...
Oh, sweetie. Oh, honey.
This guy Andrew has revealed how bad he is at sex. Sounds like he's never witnessed an orgasm lol
@@godwinwong2809 100-fucking-percent
The second they "didn't know" what sexual compatibility was, I was done.
Compatibilty doesn't exist
Bad faith or virgins, call it
Andrew was being so dodgy this debate it was insane.
All that no sex must've made him nervous talking to girl in this one.
He knows Destiny would take him to task.
Look up the sex work debate with BPF's wife. It was a slaughter.
This was an epic debate!
I'm a Christian conservative who believes there are a lot of problems with premarital sex, even setting aside the religious issues.
Having said that, sexual compatibility is a real thing. With my own friends who are also religious, I have witnessed extremely successful marriages of people that engaged in no premarital sex. I have also seen horrible consequences with this. And this chastity was done all under the guise of being pure and moral. But in reality, there was extremely limited or no sexual contact prior to marriage because the woman had a very low sex drive or was not sexually interested in her partner, other than to have children and security. The man is then doomed to a very sexually unfulfilling life that he can't escape. It does happen with women as well, where they come to find out that her new husband has serious sexual issues like a very small penis or ED problems.
We'd all like to say one side of this debate is good and one is bad. Reality is much more complicated. People who are in love will be drawn sexually to each other, whether they are married or not. If there is not a powerful force drawing them together sexually, very often there is something internally wrong in the relationship.
But let's not be foolish here. Diseases and unwanted pregnancies aren't exactly running rampant amongst married, monogamous people. And those are tremendously serious problems. And I don't care what anybody says. It's blatantly obvious that women are often negatively affected emotionally when they live a promiscuous lifestyle.
//// And those are tremendously serious problems. And I don't care what anybody says. It's blatantly obvious that women are often negatively affected emotionally when they live a promiscuous lifestyle./////
Not quite.
"Young adults who engage in casual sexual encounters do not appear to be at greater risk for
harmful psychological outcomes than sexually active young adults in more committed relationships. "
- Casual Sex and Psychological Health Among
Young Adults: Is Having “Friends with Benefi ts”
Emotionally Damaging?
"Results indicated that there was no causal relationship between casual sex in adolescence and higher levels of depressive symptoms or suicidal ideation in young adulthood, and these effects did not differ by gender. There were also no causal relations between adolescent depressive symptoms or suicidal ideation and casual sexual experience in young adulthood."
- A Noncausal Relation Between Casual Sex in Adolescence and Early Adult Depression and Suicidal Ideation: A Longitudinal Discordant Twin Study
"In conclusion, this study examined whether multiple sex partnerships can lead to later mental health problems and found no association with anxiety and depression"
- The Relationship Between Multiple Sex Partners and Anxiety, Depression, and Substance Dependence Disorders: A Cohort Study
"Sociosexually unrestricted students typically reported higher well-being after having casual sex compared to not having casual sex; there were no such differences among restricted individuals. Few gender differences were found."
- Who Benefits From Casual Sex? The Moderating Role of Sociosexuality
"The study, released by the University’s sociology department last week, said that while some girls who became sexually active without being in a committed relationship before the age of 15 suffer from depression in their lives, a majority did not. Researchers found the same for boys under the age of 14."
@@Kylerusse64 Interesting. I totally acknowledge that my opinion is anecdotal and may be based entirely on correlation. I have seen a correlation with people I knew engaged in sexual activity at a young age and tremendously negative outcomes. Though, it may not be a causal factor.
I'd be willing to bet that the average age of sexual activity amongst convicts is much lower than the average population, and the number of sexual partners is higher. But that wouldn't necessarily imply causality.
@@davidr1620 I don't disagree! However, I don't think there is causal factors between having sex in a non-monogamous lifelong relationship and depression.
Now granted, within a more conservative religious society, you may have more guilt by people who engage in those actions because of things like peer pressure, but on societies where sex outside of marriage isn't frowned upon, they are the happiest of societies. So, while correlation doesn't equal causation, it certainly precludes it being a factor of depression.
Also, another study I stumbled upon:
"This article is a descriptive study on the emotional wellbeing of individuals involved in casual sexual relations, labeled as friends with benefits. The size was 119 adults. An online survey, approved by a local, peer-review panel, was used to collect data. To explore how participants felt in this type of relationship, the instrument was organized in a total of ten categories - five positive (happy, desired, satisfied, adventurer, excited), - five negative (empty, confused, used, clumsy, deceived) Participants could select one or several categories as an answer. Overall, positive emotions were selected significantly more than negative ones, and women made up the majority of positive responses."
- Friends with Benefits and Psychological Wellbeing
What is the purpose of calling a sexual deficiency a lack of sexual compatibility? Are you saying people should have premarital sex to discover these things? Even two perfectly healthy people get married they could get in a car accident on their honeymoon and the man's penis could be severed.
right into my feed
Feeeed
Proceed
Sneed
Creeeeed
Reeeeeead
The performance in this panel from Andrew is one of the most embarrassing self reports I've ever seen.
The self-reporting these guys are doing is hilarious. I feel so bad for their wives. No orgasms in those houses!
you think the wives are much different?
@@sarcasticdragon8673 True. Maybe they don't deserve orgasms then lol
Nothing quite like the satisfaction when someone cites a source to support their argument and when you stop to read it, the source actually supports the opposite of their argument.
It always baffles me that these guys want virgins with no knowledge of sex but expect her to be able to provide a sexually fulfilling life. Virginity is not something you offer someone... it sounds weird. Sex is a part of the relationship like communication and love languages, you need to see of you match. It is so sad to see men say sexual compatibility is based in sexual depravity.
BPF's comment on what sexual compatibility means actually caused my brain cells to commit self harm.
This entire discussion is reminding me of how learning more about sex was a big part of realizing that religion was delusional.
All I heard throughout this entire conversation is - “I’m a Christian man and have had no experience with women therefore sex isn’t important to me when getting to know a woman.”
When Andrew says "I honestly no clue what sexual compatibility is about or means", all I can do is feel bad for his wife LOL
As someone who is on the right, I want to say I appreciate destiny's honest argumentation here and I'm upset at the obfuscation by the other side. All they have to do is be honest and say they think that pre-marital sex cheapens sex and promotes a culture of meaningless hedonistic relationships, and then link that to the state of our society, low birth rates and so on. Instead they are being dishonest or just straight up stupid and trying to derail everything into muh meta ethics mental masturbation nonsense. These people are not qualified to have an intelligent discussion and make people "on the right" look bad.
The reason why we have low birth rates has nothing to do with sex as recreation. It has everything to do with women's emancipation from their traditional role as walking incubators expected to birth a small village of kids. Even if no one had pre-marital sex, the birth rates would not rise by any significant margin because pre-marital sex is not a major contributing factor. In fact, I'm willing to bet that birth rates would plummet as women opt out of dating altogether given how cringe a lot of you losers are.
"Make the people on the right look bad" they're already bad🤣
@@emptyvoid5272 C-
Apply yourself
It's cool to see that there are people on both sides who can watch the flow of an argument and actually understand when someone is being dishonest and when someone isn't, regardless of what side they're on
Nah y'all almost equally bad 😂
Why did no one mention that NOT having sex could create so much artificial tension between two people they mistake their desire for genuine love?
That's why Christians teach to resist those desires to focus on genuine love. Why does no one ever mention to sluts maybe they should consider if their sex buddy is abusive or has qualities of a good father and life partner?
This is such a good point. I always say that one of peoples biggest mistakes in relationships is mistaking infatuation (the honey moon faze) with love. And factoring in the desire to have sex it can be even more confusing.
@@odellatics exactly! If you're sitting there with a bunch of pent up hormones for this person then you cannot accurately assess if this is ACTUALLY your life long partner
Because the same church that teaches that premarital sex is not what God intends, also teaches that love is not a natural inclination and or desire. Feeling for one doesn't mean I love them; it means my monkey brain wants to fuck. But of course, most only follow the teaching of pre-marital sex as tradition and stay blinded to what true love may be.
@@odellatics So how does one know if it's infatuation or love that is pulling them to their partner?
BPF is so happy with his heteronormative life that he smokes 90 cigarettes a day.
They correlate “women being virgins before marriage” with “less likely to divorce” without addressing the obvious religious bias : the first category has more than probably a very high adherence to traditional culture, which makes them less likely to divorce. Sex is pretty irrelevant here
Why wasn't Mr girl part of this panel? He would be the perfect person to describe sexual incompatibility.
They’re conflating a woman’s marketability with how well their future relationships will be. It’s better for the woman to have sex so that the compatibility is tested and known for sure. It’s better for her marketability to have a lower number or at least lie about it because of the insecurity of their partner, which is all this debate is about; them being insecure about their partner’s body count.
That's like saying having a sexual preference that excludes trans people is all about insecurity and its better for their marketability to just lie about being trans because of the insecurity of their partner. Try to come up with the real reason why men pair up with a woman beyond having an orgasm with them and you'll understand why these preferences have nothing to do with insecurity.
@honestrat03 The focus is on women because they're the one that choose who they sleep with whereas men are typically looking for any woman willing to sleep with him. It's the difference between a lock that is opened by any key and a key that can open any lock. Being promiscuous has clear downsides that effect both men and women but men are just doing what comes natural to them whereas naturally women are supposed to be selective and pick the best possible partner because they'll have to spend the next 9 months growing his baby and many more years raising it. Contraceptives and abortions have allowed women to shirk their role as selectors entirely and just fuck anyone they can, thats why its seen as a failing when women do it but not when men do it.
@@sticks7857 Technically, it would be better for marketability for them to do that. However, it’s obviously a much different situation. If they haven’t had bottom surgery, they’d obviously be found out eventually. Even if they had the surgery and had seemingly no difference, I doubt their partner would just never find out. Even with that, though, it wouldn’t have to do with how well their relationships go. They’d obviously have them end, but that doesn’t say anything about how well their relationship was going beforehand.
And I honestly don’t know why these types of men pair up with women because all they seem to care about is how much sex they’ve had and with whom. All Destiny and Alex are saying is that premarital sex isn’t inherently negative or positive and if they had to choose, it’d probably be a positive since the person would have a better understanding of what they like and want their partner to be like as far as sex goes. The Christian’s’ arguments imply that they could have a great relationship with a woman, but if they found out their body count then none of that would matter anymore. Not because somebody lied, but because it’s more than 0. Their whole argument is that people shouldn’t be exposed to anything else because then they’d want and expect more out of their partner. It’s one thing to have unrealistic expectations, but these guys act like wanting to have enjoyable sex with the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with is an unrealistic standard to have.
Sex isn’t everything, but it’s way more important to a relationship’s quality and longevity than people realize or give credit for. People like you hear “I want enjoyable sex with my partner” and think that’s all somebody cares about. We’re simply saying that even if everything else was great, it’d be a dealbreaker to be with someone who isn’t sexually compatible. The Christian’s don’t seem to care. Not that they wouldn’t try to have a good sex life, but that it’s not important to them if they don’t have good sex, like it’s a trade off they’re willing to make. Which is totally fine. I just wish they’d say that outright. “I’ll try to have enjoyable sex with my partner, but if it doesn’t happen then oh well.”
@honestrat03 Exactly, which is why there’s a curve in the data they showed. It’s pretty common for most people to have a few sex partners in their life before they get married.
I also don’t really like the focus on women and wish they’d just say “people” if they actually care about the principle itself.
It's kind of disappointing that a lot of this conversation was centered around "sexual compatibility discovery" when i think that's not the best argument to be made against forced abstinence. The main issue i see in making premarital sex immoral is that it leads to 1.frustrated young people venting their urges in other, actually unhealthy ways and 2.earlier "rushed" marriages that lead to suboptimal lifelong relationships (more people getting married later, or not getting married at all is a GOOD thing I think, as those were not meant to last a happy lifetime). And the increasing divorce rate has more to do with the desacralization of the family unit (it's considered ok and maybe even BRAVE to be a single mom/dad, and it's also OK not to have kids, although i strongly prefer the second option to the first) and the emancipation of women (you won't starve if you leave me), than premarital sex imho. I bet a lot more divorces would happen in traditional/religious societies if it weren't for the religious morals weighing on people's shoulders.
“Forced abstinence”
… not every single person who is waiting is being forced to wait, some people choose to.
@@Banana-eb8qr Sure thing, that's why i specified "forced" abstinence and not "abstinence" in general. There would be an argument to be had about choice depending on your social background and environment (choosing abstinence because you were taught you'll rot in hell for all eternity otherwise is questionable). But if we state that premarital sex is immoral, then yes, we are advocating for "forced abstinence".
I find it interesting that to you, the people whos marriages failed were always destined to fail at long term relationships and that their life experiences played no part in why and how they got to where they were.
What if a person with tons of sexual experience isn't satisfied not because their partner is bad but because they cant live up to the wild sex they had when they were younger, what if the sex they had was bad when they were single and wild but now the partner they've figured out they want isnt interested in someone with that much experience.
If people lived completely different lifestyles, where they were abstinent until marriage, I assume would have completely different outcomes, to just say all divorced people would have been divorced anyway so its better to be promiscuous is a big ass leap if I ever saw one.
You're talking about the issues of making premarital sex immoral like we haven't had thousands of years of highly religious societies enforcing that moral onto their populace already to know that it works out better than the hedonistic social experiment currently playing out in the west. The real underlying problem is that the western world became smart enough to see through the lies religions pushed but not to the extent of understanding the reason those lies were being pushed in the first place. So all the morals tested by time that have been collected by the various religions as bullet points for a successful society have been thrown out as a bunch of baseless lies and replaced by nothing. The way I see it the religious bandaid was ripped off too soon and too quickly because outside of religious indoctrination tricking the masses of idiots into doing whats best for them there is no means to do that. So now the masses of idiots are having a bunch of hedonistic no strings attached sex with people they barely know until they can't be satisfied with a single partner and if they do make a stab at settling down its doomed to result in a broken family because of that. Destiny is the shining example of this which makes his appearance on this panel a pretty self defeating one if you ask me.
@Chairman Pooh Bear I guess making big ass leaps are something we have in common then. I never said that failed marriages were DESTINED to fail. Would you agree that taking the time to know the person you vow to spend the rest of your life with leads to better average incomes than making a decison almost immediately, independently of you having sex or not? Because my point is only that labelling premarital sex as immoral leads to decisions being made much faster, that's all. I sure am glad i didn't get married to my firstadolescent love for the sake of us being comfortable having sex. And on your point about the partner you want to spend you life with being uninterested in someone with "that much experience", I don't really have much of an argument against it, but as I said, I find it disappointing that both sides are using this as an argument either to say "more experience is better to see if you are sexually compatible" or "more experience is bad as your partner could reject you based on your body count". To each their own, maybe it's just me but it didn't matter much in the choice of my partner past a few experiences together to see how we're doing together in the bedroom. All i was saying is that i strongly agree with the morally neutral position defended by Destiny and his buddy, but dislike the way they argue their point.
Half of this debate didn't seem constructive because of Andrew. Sexual satisfaction is a deal breaker no matter what's more important or not.
Andrew: how many times should you have sex before marriage to determine sexual compatibility. Give an exact number.
Steven: [Gives number]
Andrew: wtf, why are you giving an exact number? Why not [another large number]?
These types of people simultaneously place a massive emphasis on sex while also stating that it doesn't matter. You have to be married to have sex because it's so special and "sacred", but it doesn't matter if the sex sucks because sex isn't important. Huh?
"We don't know what your talking about, meaning we win the debate since we don't have to engage with things we don't understand "
Most telling moment of the debate lol
Destiny woulda been better going at this one alone this alex dude 🤦🏾♂️
"Do you think a woman is more likely to find the partner she wants by sleeping with 100 men or zero men "
You know what. Genuinely. For non Christian males and non Christian females...I would imagine the typical guy would find both extremes equally hard to overcome
I mean if you want a serious answer to the question we have statistics, destiny watches enough red pill content to know what the answer is.
Justpearlythings brings it up all the time, women who have had sex with over 5 men, not even double digits just 5, already have a statistical disadvantage when it comes to both getting and maintaining relationships both because men are less interested in women who have been ran through and women have less ability to pair bond the more sex they have, because they chemically bond to people.
The most successful marriages are ones where both people are virgins.
@@lifeyoushouldtryit that is just statistically not true not to mention there is literally no proof of causation. Virgins in marriage are more likely to be religious and THAT is why they don't get divorced.
Your stat about 5 is totally untrue. All the stats point to anything under 7 is insignificant. Less than 7 partners and it has a neglible statistical impact
@@lifeyoushouldtryit you should ask youserlf why though. It really looks like a situation of "Ignorance is bliss", it's hard to believe so many virgin couples just happen to find their other half when it comes to sex life. If you've never tried good sex, it's very hard to spot bad sex.
@@Lollonman1 You realize that sexual satisfaction is a subjective chemical reaction that happens in your brain yes? You realize that a woman who has BBC gangbangs and a woman having slow missionary sex with her 5in husband can have the exact same level of orgasmic pleasure despite completely different sexual behaviors yes?
You seem not to understand sex at all. You seem to think there is some hierarchy of sexual pleasure that no one is having “good sex” until they have a bbc gangbang
@@Lollonman1 It's just lower standards and expectations, the people having a lot of sex aren't on a race to the bottom finding the most atrocious people to have sex with, they're trying to do better and better each time. So after enough times your standards and expectations for someone you'd spend your life with are so unrealistically high that you're unlikely to ever have a successful lifelong relationship. Every person you're intimate with will be lesser than previous partners in some way, and you'll always have that voice in the back of your mind telling you that you can and have done better leading you to be unsatisfied with them.
What I very much dislike is that there are claims to defend either side, but I really feel as though Andrew's arguments really boil down to sex being some sacred thing that needs to be held to a super high regard because of his religious beliefs. I wouldnt be suprised if he believes there should be legal restrictions on certain forms of sex as he holds it in such high regard
God why would desTINY agree to debate this dude again. The dude is such a self righteous debate lord
Andrew arguing that “discussing their expectations before marriage” will prevent virgins from sexual incompatibility… was wild
The one thing that I'm hung up on, the left handed side of the debate is Sex is most likely the cause of a marriage failing or succeeding. When although it is a factor that same way protein is a factor in a food pyramid, I would not say it is ALWAYS the top concern or the foundation. Sex can make a marriage better, but bad to no sex can also be the result of strain in another area.
Some individuals use sex as a reward or bargaining chip, others keep is completely out of those equations. BUT if there's hurt feelings, poor communication, lack of consideration or any other host of issues... the sex life could suffer and then cause a ton of other problems.
The problem with a debate like this is that there are so many factors that go into the smallest part of a sexual relationship or marriage, there would be no way to see completely eye to eye when everyone has varying views.
I’m a Southern Baptist, one of the more conservative denominations out there… this conversation was brutal. Failing to understand your point on “sexual comparability” simply seemed like bad faith on their part
They should have stuck to the argument that everything else is more important and that sex matters can be resolved after marriage trough practice, communication, counseling, therapy and surgery anyway. Also I believe the sexual compatibility question is just an excuse and a bad faith attempt at undermining a complete package deal based on priorities far above sexual compatibility. But yeah, what's the point of having a debate then?
An important point to remember about the high divorce rate: a divorce rate of 50% is a lot scarier than it looks, because many unhappy couples choose not to get divorced for multiple reasons (money, kids, etc.). So while the divorce rate might be 50%, the actual number of UNHAPPY, UNSATISFIED marriages is a lot higher!
This is very important when considering why marriage is a bad idea (which I think it is).
Andrew properly angers me, he's so passively annoying, I want to vent my anger but youtube wouldn't allow my thoughts in a comment.
Edit: got to later in the video, zen too.
It baffles me that someone that obviously has zero idea how to interpret statistics is able to so confidently use them to argue for his believes
2:00:45 Entire argument essentially conceded and you can see it in Destiny's instant reaction lol. He just threw away his whole foundation of "more marriage = good. Therefore: goal = reduce risk of divorce". Next time just say "All that matters is my christian moral code and nothing that goes against that will change my mind", if you're going to literally just advocate against reducing divorce risk solely because it clashes with your christian moral code. He argued against his own source more than it ever helped his argument lmao.
Someone call a doctor, because Zen just overdosed on copium live in 16K ultra HD 120fps HDR with fucking Dolby Atmos.
This is SO funny, Andrew clearly is the WORST as sex and just cannot process that he's bad at it and refuses to believe it's a reason for his divorce. Secondly, the fact that he kept saying "we" when the dude on the bottom knows what's going on is so funny, he is just bad and sex, inexperienced, and can't comprehend that women, or anyone in general, wants good sex that he just cannot provide
These Rimworld gameplay videos are amazing. Keep it up!
Andrew in a nut shell
"Look all a man needs is a willing partner, but for women its more complicated. If the women never find out it could be good its a win win for everybody!"
Baised
“Do you BPF take this woman…”
“Oh shit. One second father….Honey I forgot to ask - you down with blowies, dirty talk, reverse cowgirl, Marlboro Man role play right ?!“
Destiny:
Hasan will never fight Sam Hyde. Too scared. You are not scared of Sam. Please fight Sam in Hasan's place.
Thank you. Love you.
There are weight classes for a reason, and Destiny isn't stupid and on a suicide mission. Even though he knows he can't beat a lot of his opposition in a fight, he will still speak his mind and his opinions. Which is respectable.
@@karsten9387 Sam Hyde and destiny are practically at the same place. 5’8 180 and 6’5 260 is basically the same thing
@@Owen-bb2zs that’s a joke right? That’s a massive difference…
@@limesnlemonss nah bro 100% serious
This conversation has convinced me that BPF gets no chicks, or at least keeps no chicks.
He is maidenless because the maidens don't want him 🤣
Car analogy elicited an awesome answer from Zen Shapiro: "How to know how a car drives without test driving it?" anser: "Well you talk to other people who have driven it." But in this analogy no one has ever driven that car, it refuses test drives before marriage and society should frown on test driving in general. Worse yet, all cars are individuals. You can't draw any conclusions from other people's comments about test drives of similar cars since they might be the same color, same length, same type, but drive completely differently in the bedroom.
yup agreed, and the house analogy of like touring the house is like dating and then marriage is buying the house was braindead. because in this example the abstinence would be you like driving by it at a distance and buying like "well yeah i can see the garage and I see the door and I know i am compatible with the house." dating and courting someone has almost nothing to do with how the sex will be.
Car is an object, people are not objects. A car can be returned or exchanged at any time when you decide you don´t like it. It has no feelings, it can´t get hurt or disappointed, it can´t get pregnant... there is very little negative consequences for testing and then abandoning a car. Relationships are complex, people are complex and using car analogy, no matter how well intended oversimplifies things and makes it seem like people are objects. That is dehumanizing.
The irony that the Christian side is the one drinking and smoking during the debate is not lost on me
its so painfully obvious these dudes are sexually inexperienced
Funny how its always religious men arguing womens' "sexual market value" in these kinds of debates. You never see this type of take being used in womens' spaces towards men. Someone's past shouldn't affect how one treats their current partner, emotionally and sexually. It shouldn't matter. They don't care if men sleep around, but the second a woman does suddenly she's unworthy of marriage.
I'm not a full-on atheist, but I feel that religion, especially Christianity/Catholicism, is inherently misogynistic brainrot. This is coming from someone who was baptised and raised Catholic, and has disowned this faith due to growing tired of seeing women's bodies and sexuality being treated as nothing more than objects of desire. A woman's purpose isn't to please a man.
Destiny's opponents are terrible debaters so I'll make their point for them. Destiny says it's not a compromise if you have to go without something you want forever without anything in return, in this case blowjobs.
The proper response is how does a person have any justification to leave a marriage where they have good communication, are emotionally supportive, maybe have kids, enjoy the same activities, share similar senses of humor etc just because of a desire to have a blowjob? Isn't that reflective of a really bad set of values, preferring something that is such a small aspect of a marriage and not being able to see all the other goods provided?
Lack of sexual compatibility, most people aren’t going to get to the stages you mention (marriage, kids) without sexual compatibility.
@@r1seplayr529 I just having trouble understanding why. Sex is mostly emotional (trust/communication), that doesn't need to come from sexual intimacy. It comes from proximity, frequency of interactions and overcoming shared adversity. The actual mechanistic portion of sex can be learned over a few sessions with a partner interested in learning, or at the very least just use toys. This shouldn't be so hard.
The real answer if you walk it all the way down in a relationship, is that if someone puts up walls with an excuse that is very likely going to be, "I'm not doing that because I don't want to", then you very likely don't have the idyllic relationship you described. If they aren't going to budge on something like fellatio, they're probably also not going to budge on certain types of chores, or maybe they refuse to do a certain type of activity, etc.. Even if they have a better reason, well then that either begs the question of what trauma/abuse did they face that made fellatio unacceptable which is something that's going to affect the relationship in other ways, or if it's something that can be argued about then a real compromise can be reached(i.e. only once in a while/no cumming on my face/no swallowing/you have to have better hygiene so it doesn't stink, so on so forth)
The meaner response would be that if everything is so perfect and they're such a perfect mate, then why should they care if their partner gets a blowjob from someone else? After all, if it's such a small aspect of marriage and every other good is being provided for why should they care if they're not the one handling something so small?
@@nbonasoro unfortunately it's not that simple.
@@r1seplayr529 That's crazy bullshit. If you can stick your penis into vagina you ARE sexually compatibile. Now, what you're talking about is whether u have simmilar sexual desires, which are not the same as sexual needs. Sexual desires such as having blow job, anal, threesomes, aren't natural needs and they exist only because people keep feeding their brains with certain fetishes. It's not a sexual need wanting to have a blowjob it's just temporary desire that you cultivate because you've watched too much porn and now you have certain expectations on which you don't want to give up, because you believe in fake concept that desires=needs. Humans aren't sexual toys that are there to fullfill your desires, ( That is NOT a purpose of your sexual partner, not really) that's a very dehumanizing concept that most people buy into.
Nearly 20 minutes in and the anti pre marital sex side have still not given a single reason why they hold their position other than "marriage good, mkay"
Follow the science .
A study published in the Journal of Sex Research on August 26 indicates that free love and godless sex may not be as great as once advertised. Sex engaged in by religious married couples is reportedly more satisfying, particularly for married women with strong religious associations.
Lack of sexual chemistry is not perpetually irreparable. You can't tell me you'll be with someone for 50 years and not learn how their body works over time.
Also, there's people that you'll have great sex with who are absolute disasters as a long term partner
Ugh man I don’t know, it’s hard. Yeah if you really work hard at it it will become better but I think there are some people who are just wrong for you.
My last relationship crashed literally because of that. We could not have good sex and it ruined everything else. We’d hang out all day every day have the best time and then I’d almost cry in frustration when we’d try to fuck or at even get really steamy. It was brutal.
what if you're both doms
Lol saying the same thing as the christians in a few more steps and it's receptive here. It's almost like when it not explicitly presented in a debate its obvious
Lack of sexual chemistry is not NECESSARILY perpetually irreparable but it can be. And the point is that you more than likely won’t be with someone for 50 years if you’re perpetually sexually incompatible.
@@obomba1507 then you must fight to the death
something something witty comment something something destiny is a girls name.
I started playing basketball with a new friend and we want to explore our options in pick and roll. Should we discuss about it and hope it works in game, or should we actually both discuss it, try it a few times in practice, find out what his preferences are when cutting inside, or if he likes to shoot etc. and then try it in game?
Apples to oranges my friend. Higher body count leads to negative outcomes in marriage. It's more like running a marathon before the championship game.
@@KennyBare if you're running marathons then you're probably still better off than someone who's never run before going for a championship game
@@KennyBare That's probably because of this exact kinda stigma. It's self fulfilling, when you clowns say a higher body count is bad and then only justify it or explain by repeating yourselves. Why is it bad for both partners to have previous experience in one of the most crucial aspects to an adult relationship? Because one partner has been socially conditioned to have his fee fees hurt? Come on now
“The game” in terms of marriage lasts for the rest of their lives. There’s plenty of time to fix whatever the problems are. If we’re being honest here, if a couple love each other in every other way and didn’t have sex yet, they’re going to figure out how to make the sex work. I don’t see people trying to have kids before marriage just to see how compatible they are as parents. It’s something that works out as long as there is proper love.
I'm not sure how either side could "win" this debate. It literally comes down to preference. There's really no room for facts here.
Why do these internet Christians curse so much? I can’t figure out how you can argue so strongly against premarital sex and porn but then chain smoke and drop f-bombs.
Because its grifty bullshit and none of them actually love theor ideals.
I believe that you can figure it out.
I wonder if it comes down to their interpretation of the salvation theology. Protestants believe in the death of Jesus for the remission of all their sins, so as long as they don't go " too far," and have faith in Christ, they're good. And catholics believe that as long as they get to the confession booth, and recite their Hail Mary's afterwords, they're a clean slate. These dudes are Americans who converted to Eastern Orthodoxy, and I'm alot less familiar with that sect, but it can't be too different. I guess it all comes down to hypocrisy
I don't understand how BPF doesn't see the contradiction between him arguing that there's much more to a relationship than sex, while he still claims that there's no point to Destiny's marriage if they're not sexually exclusive.
The latter implies that the former either isn't true. If he acknowledges that there is much more than sex to a marriage, then what's his confusion?
bruh dude just said rub one out as an argument. sooooo convincing
Well done destiny. Happy you joined this debate
I think its more a matter of establishing trust and communication. Sex can be really awful if the people involved don’t communicate their preferences. There is also some risk involved in having sex too early. It can give a false sense of attachment and connection. This can lead to people staying in toxic relationships because they want to keep having sex. Establishing trust and open communication first before having sex will prevent a lot of issues that may arise from having sex.
Absolutely, yes, but this is not at all relevant to the conversation. You’re giving an argument/advice on how to have sex. Not whether it is moral or not to have sex.
@@vovakorotkikh5161 sex in itself is not immoral its the context in which it happens that determines the morality
@@TheBobsagetrulez yes and you once again said absolutely nothing relevant.
@@vovakorotkikh5161 sex is moral in the context of a marriage
@@TheBobsagetrulez nobody ever argued the opposite, you once again said nothing anybody here disagrees with.
The title needs to be edited! “Destiny debates sex w/children conservatives”
For some reason these guys really like defending their position by "that's wrong because she can lie" and later on they're saying "okay, but let's assume she's honest." I didn't know that was allowed in a debate.
NICE EDITING
This is why while I have been pushed away from The Left™, I want very little to do with The Right™.
These dorks are insufferable. Christian models on relationships repulse me.
The fact that a person with no prior partners is less likely to divorce doesn’t prove anything. Not having any prior partners also speak of an inexperience when it comes to relationships, which in itself could lead to a person not knowing when to divorce.
Did BPF* basically say all women and all men are sexually compatible if they have sex organs? That’s actually insane.
make the intro music louder next time i could still hear some of the convos