"Miss" is reserved for "politely addressing the mothers of your childhood friends by their first name." YES! None of my non-southern friends understand this.
Or as a quick way to get the attention of a woman as so:(but only used by men giving back an item the woman forgot) _Miss_ _MISS_ you Forgot your hat MISS OR MISS *you're not allowed in there that's for ---oww my foot..!!.!....!.
So here in Ohio we have this older lady I work with that everyone calls Miss Sue. When talking to my mom about it she asked if she's married. Well yes Miss Sue is married, but Mrs. Sue just isn't right. I'd never realized why, but yeah she's like the friends mother to us all or grandmother almost to some.
"Sorry darling. Miss is reserved for little girls, or politely address the mothers of your childhood friends by their first name." That is the most accurate thing I've ever heard.
I've had the mom of my son's little friends tell their kids to call me Miss Megan after I told them to just call me Megan. She said it almost admonishingly towards me. I thought it was really rude. I think I should get to decide what I'm called honestly (within reason afterall, it's not like I was asking them to call me Hot B!tch or anything)
That's Miss pronounced Mz. As in hello Mz. Alice or adult men are Mr. John. And young men were addressed as Master, but usually not in person , but in written form. Growing up in La. every letter I received was addressed to Mstr. John whether from family, friends or others.
I was taught as a kid, (usually reserved for you or your kids teachers) Miss= non-married Ms. = unknown marriage status Mrs. = married And you should never assume that Mrs. Is okay without knowing that she prefers it
i grew up learning that saying “ma’am” and “sir” is a way of showing respect to people you either don’t know or aren’t close to. Or if you’re in trouble and don’t wanna make it worse
I'm so glad I wasn't taught that growing up. Don't get me wrong, it's a super polite thing to do and it's great that people do it, but with the type of person I am it would just seem... disingenuous?
You're onto something here. Manager - male in charge of a department. Also used as the unisex/gender neutral/gender unknown version. Ma'amager - female in charge of a department. Also used when someone who would otherwise be called "manager" takes especially good care of subordinates by asking about their momma, bringing in fresh baked goodies every week, and correcting things like grammar/posture/hygiene mistakes.
I’ve lived in CA for 5 years now (grew up in Dallas) it took me a loooong time to realize ma’am was not a welcome word here some of my family out here still stiffens when I say it subconsciously
I’m from Texas, and my wife is from Canada. When we were visiting Canada, I was at a grocery store checkout and the lady asked if that would be all. I answered, “yes ma’am.” She looked at me and said, “you’re not from around here,are you?” I answered, “no ma’am, how did you know?” She said, “you called me ma’am.”
I'm a northerner. I always saw it as respectful, but I'm afraid most of us here see it as an insult. My sister (english isn't her first language, but she first learned english in the north) said that "ma'am" is an insult because it's a term used for old women, like a respectful version of "grandma".
My Mom was from Staton Island, and Dad from Kentucky (Navy man). My Dad left when I was 9. My Mom had no rule to call her Ma'am. It was Yea, huh, what? I grew up in Georgia and had to force myself to say Ma'am!
I was raised in the south and one time I didn’t say yes ma’am and my teacher went crazy and started giving me a whole speech on how I have to say yes ma’am and yes sir and just went crazy and I was 6 years old at the time and u started crying because it was in front of the class and she was yelling and I went home and told my mother and she said well next time you should say yes ma’am and get use to saying it and i was use to saying it it just that day I forgot to
I had a speech teacher in high school that INSISTED we call her 'Doctor Miller'. What did I call her? Mrs.'Dr.Miller'. The entire class caught on and she hated it.
@@piglover7420 That teacher probably also thinks the south will rise again and certain sections of the community need a good whooping behind the wood shed.
"Granny has sole custody of the Ma'am title" unless the granddaughter just said something ugly. Then she'll get a firm "No Ma'am!" In response! I'm so southern, I even call my dogs ma'am and sir when I scold them! 😆
I "No Ma'am!" my niece when I'm scolding her. Apparently I do it often enough that when the grocery store clerk called me ma'am my niece asked me what I'd done wrong.
I have the opposite story. I remember first being called ma’am as a pre-teen by a restaurant worker. I was pleasantly surprised and took it as a sign that I was becoming an adult. As a shy, socially anxious child it meant a lot to me for a brief moment.
I'm a Southern Transplant in the North. People here use the term "Ma'am" (customer's do) snapping fingers and all to get people's attention. Um... can I help you? in my sweetest voice. lol
Is she's from the north she may think so:) Just let her know it's a Southern sign of respect that all children are taught at a young age in the South:) If I say Ma'am when I visit my relatives up North I get the same response;)
I retired from the Army. Anytime you engage a person not wearing rank, you address a person as "Sir" or "Ma'am". You never know if that person has standing and 'Treat others as you would like to be treated'.
@@pinkrose5796 yes she is I go to school in the north and I’ve had teachers that don’t like me calling them ma’am or sir, they think they’re being called old or being talked back to.
Try addressing her as she would like to be addressed. That indicates more respect than just calling her what you choose to, whether she is comfortable with it or not. That's like someone identifying as Mrs. So and So and me insisting on using Ms. only, even after they tell me they prefer Mrs.
@@elizabeth568 I mean if your teachers prefer to be called Miss/Mrs etc. then it's just nicer and more respectful to comply. My name is Caroline but I usually go by Carol. It's not a big deal if someone calls me Caroline, but it would eventually be irritating if I kept correcting them and they refused.
I ran into a lefty female who thought it was a racist term. She confused 'Mammy' with 'Ma'am'. She didn't appreciate my correction of her idiocy but by that time I had long ago stopped caring about if I offended overly sensitive people.
Also, ok for any female waitstaff anywhere in the south to call their customers hun, darlin' or sweetie, regardless if their male or female or their spouse/significant other is sitting there. Seen more often in truck stop diners and Waffle House and Denny's restaurants , but you could run into that anywhere in the south. If you get this waitperson, it's a guarantee that your coffee cup or tea glass will not go empty during your entire stay.
I'm Southern born and raised. I now live in Michigan. When a woman gets upset at me for calling her Ma'am I respond with "Oh I'm sorry Sir." Talking about throw gas on a fire, LOL.
Born in Michigan, raised in the south I love the manners there, the "Oh, I'm sorry Sir!" is perfect Michigan sarcasm speak you handle fluently. So you speak southern and Michiganese sarcasm! best of both worlds!
Why would you purposely do something to upset a stranger? Just accept that there’s cultural differences and respect that they don’t want to be called ma’am.
My wife's cousins lived in Michigan for awhile. Their son got detention for being disrespectful to his teacher. At the parent-teacher conference they were told he was constantly being sarcastic by calling her ma'am. They educated her on how kids are raised in Texas. No kid had ever called her ma'am before.
Back in the very early 00s, a woman from somewhere up North started working at our Boys&Girls Club. She asked everyone to call her by their first name and kept saying not to say ma'am. Some kids did because their parents weren't there/couldn't hear and she was being kind of annoying about it, but I never did. At some point my mother was there for some reason and this Northern woman goes up to her and says that she told me to call her by her first name and not say ma'am and that she could tell that I was very deliberately disobeying her. My mom just looked at her and said "Good for her that she keeps using her manners even though you told her not to." 20 years later, I still remember the look on her face! It was just priceless! She was NOT happy and ignored me from that point on. My meemaw still brings this up a minimum of once every year.
@@mchobbit2951 oops. While we want people to be understanding that "ma'am" and "sir" are not insults, if they ask us to call them something else specifically, then the polite thing to do is to call them that thing. How would you feel if someone insisted on calling you "lady" if you had asked them to call you "ma'am?"
@@cardboardbelt I do now as an adult, not use ma'am or sir if someone doesn't want me to. I call people what they ask me to call them. It is VERY different as an adult though. As a kid, it's like this person is telling you to do something that your parents told you to never ever do and you're there trying to decide who to obey. It really was a pretty uncomfortable situation for us kids. If I were working at the Boys and Girls Club in New England, I wouldn't demand that anyone call me ma'am. Just like I wouldn't go teach prek in Japan and tell the students to call me Miss Michelle because that's normal down South. It would be wrong of me to come in as an outsider and demand that everyone do things the way they are done where I come from.
I'm from Louisiana and it's the same for us. My children have been raised the same way. You can tell transplants, when they get that "just slapped in the face look" the first time a 20ish person calls them Ma'am.
I'm just imagining the culture shock for a northerner who hears a mom say to her female toddler in a grocery store 'No, ma'am. You put that down right now. I'm not paying for that.'
I never had an issue calling a woman “ma’am” until I interacted with people from CA while I was working retail. I had a 60 year old woman get pissy with me for it 🤦🏼♀️😂
Raised by my most of my life single mother and my Grandparents. THe one I was around the most was ex career military. Same thing. Only they were also Southern, so... never thought it could be anything but respectful!
I wasn't raised by any military, but I can't imagine anyone ever thinking ma'am or sir are anything but manners. I don't understand how it's considered rude by anyone...and yet, I'm seeing a lot of people in these comments say that where they are from, it is rude. 🤷♀️
Dad was military, Grandad, an uncle and an older cousin were all military, so the sir's and ma'ams were required in our Southern, God fearing, church going military family.
I had a woman (from New Hampshire) scream at me and my son, who was 12 at the time, because he called her Ma'am. She went off like a rocket (in church). I told her I'd raised my boys to be Southern Gentlemen. She replied, "I might have known it was some Southern thing! If he calls me ma'am again, I'm gonna hit you!" I was politely unapologetic. She turned to my son again, and said, "You come with me, young man!" He shrugged and smiled, "Yes, ma'am." She gave me a death look and stormed off. What do you know, even then, he had a smart mouth. :)
LOL! I was a teacher and required my students to say "yes ma'am"/"no ma'am". One of my students' dad told me "ma'am" is a "southern thing". I told him that "ma'am" is a "manners" thing to show respect. All of my students were "sweetie and darlin"!😁💓
Ok I’d love to do this in my classroom! I miss yes ma’am no sir so much, it feels like my kids are being so rude to me when they call me miss or Mrs (I know they aren’t tho)
Funny enough. As a 30 year old woman I get a bit miffed when strangers call me by my first name instead of Ma’am. Deep inside I’m internally just going 1) I’m 30. 2) I’m married. 3) This is the South 4) And I don’t know you like that. My name is Ma’am to you. Granted I never say it because that would be rude and my momma raised a lady. 😂
I feel the same way I’m in my 20s I’m married, I have a baby and I live in the south don’t call me miss. Yet I get called miss all the time and I get irritated.😂
That's funny. I grew up in NY but live in the South now. It still grinds my nerves when ppl call me ma'am or Mrs. I prefer Miss, Ms., or my first name. But in Atlanta, our rules are all over the place so we accept everything... except "sweetie" 😳
As a native Texan who lived in Seattle for 10 years... I got so sick of explaining the ma'am thing. I tried to quit saying it, but my Grandmommy's voice would trigger in the back of my mind every time.
Y'all see that young guy from Louisiana on America got talent I think?..his answers were , "yes sir.".the judges told him he didn't have to say it,still did though.they found it s bit funny...then he he wowed them with a country song
To anyone even remotely insulted by Ma'am, just know that Ma'am was originally reserved for high ranking royal ladies like the queen and princesses. To be called ma'am is a respect thing and is basically calling someone royalty. So embrace it. We all know southern women are queens anyway.
Uh... no. It’s literally the French equivalent of Mister (Monsieur) that’s bestowed as a sign of respect on women who age out of the age range for being called Mademoiselle (young lady).
@@hotjanuary monsieur and mister are for men. Ma'am's French equivalent would be madame but the English equivalent to madame could be madam but let's be honest Ma'am is just a slang version of madam as seen by the ' in ma'am where the D once stood tall and proud.
Grew up in the south AND joined the military after high school so “sir” and “ma’am” came naturally… but being stationed in San Diego was a culture shock. I thought I was being polite and respectful but didn’t realize how offended people got by that!!!! I felt uncomfortable NOT addressing someone by saying sir or ma’am. I was legit waiting for my phone to ring and my mom ask me why am I being rude and disrespectful not addressing someone properly. Lol
Why people have to call anybody a name, y'all aren't being respectful like you think just don't call anyone anything and just say thank you or have a good day period
The first time a women sgt yelled at me it was because I had responded "YES MAAM" to her question. She then laughed at me and herself because of my accent and the look on my face. I was all of 17.
I said "yes sir" the first day of basic training and was answered with "sir? Don't call me sir, I work for a living" and then I wondered what the hell to say. So I just shut the hell up till I figured it out.
@anxiousfroggy the “Don’t sir me, I work for a living,” is an Non-commissioned officer vs officer thing in the military. You use sir with officers, I.e. lieutenants and higher - most of whom are younger than the nco’s. You use “yes, sergeant,” or “yes, insert rank” for nco’s. And I’m not in the military or have any family in.
I would think the easiest compromise would be to call the person by there first name but also attaching a Mr. or Mrs. before hand, like Mr. John or Mrs. Sarah or Ms. Jessica. Or if they insist on the nick name part be like Mr.”nickname” how are you doing today. If they don’t like just say it’s something from where you grew and a sign of respect for people of power or authority in your life.
I grew up in East Texas where I had to use "yes ma'am" and "yes sir". I'm in my 20s teaching elementary school in a rural Texas town, and I get "yes ma'am" from all my students. I love it! It helps me feel like an actual adult! I'm happy as long as they don't accidently call me grandma
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. I cringe every time I call someone ma’am and they say “Don’t call me that, it makes me feel old”, screw that. I worked hard to make it to adulthood and I DESERVE the respect of “Ma’am”.
@@ayeKnow - I’ll take a “Sir” anytime, as long as it’s not said sarcastically. I mean no one has ever said it to me without sarcasm, but I’d still take it.
I got in trouble on the Internet once by calling someone "Hon." I was answering a question she asked in a group. It was a sincere question and answer. She went ballistic. First, she said I spelled it wrong (nope, "Hon" is short for "honey"). Then, she said I was belittling her. I tried to explain I was Southern, and I use it when addressing most women (I am a woman myself). I don't think "Hon," "Sweetie," "Ma'am" are insults or patronizing. She kept on and on about it, how it was degrading women to call them "Hon." I view it as being polite and kind. I refrain from using it at work, but most everywhere else, I use it. She should be glad I didn't call her "Doll" or "Baby Doll." I have an aunt who I picked that up from. I never use that outside of the family. But, Hon? Hon is being nice.
"Hon" and "Darlin'" are acceptable for all ages. I kinda feel like "Sweetie" is reserved for older folks to use on younger, (although younger adults can use it for children). People who lose their minds over endearing terms, or think they're degrading, just weren't raised right - bless their hearts.
I'm from the south and if a strange man calls me hon I don't go ballistic because I'm polite but I instantly think less of him. Even in the south, you don't just go around calling random females hon or honey. That's a name used for people you know. You use, Ma'am, Mrs, Miss, or whatever. Now if a Grannie calls me hon or sweetie that's okay. But no you shouldn't expect good results going around calling unfamiliar females hon or sweetie unless they are much much younger than you. The problem is in the South the women are smiling and keeping their mouths shut to be polite. Then we go home and get on the phone with our friends later and say. "You won't believe what this (insert unflattering term here) called me. Bless his heart." LOL Because we reserve our rage for actual offenses. XD
@@99PercentOffFreeHugs Maybe in your area of the South. Where I'm from, it's very common. All the women in my family do it. It is not derogatory. Maybe you're just uptight and looking to be offended.
Right!!! I got called ma'am not to long along. I actually turned around thinking the person must've been talking to someone older that was behind me..... realized it was me she was talking to 🤦
Listen my elderly Aunt sent me a letter addressed to Mrs. (My husband’s name). I knew in that moment I was a true adult. 🤣 I was like look honey I’ve made it in the world! (Educated, careered, and my greatest accomplishment is a 90 year old addressing me as Mrs. someone else! 😆) Edit: I actually enjoy when I get a letter from her addressed like that. Like letter writing I think it is a thing of a bygone era. It feels like a very antique way for her to acknowledge that I now belong at the adults table at Thanksgiving.
I'm from California. Lady is an insult here too. It's mostly those whose family recently moved here. They also get insulted when I call a group of females Guys or use the word Dude on a female, and yes, Dude is gender Neutral. I rarely do, unless I want to piss off some lady with a stick up her butt. Also Girls are not allowed as well.
A true cultural difference. In many places across the country, you may as well be yelling, "Hey, Old Lady!" when you say "ma'am". Whereas in the South, NOT saying "ma'am" is equivalent to addressing all women with "Whassup, babe?" I've never had a problem with "Sir", not since I was first called that at a Denny's around age 19!
But why call someone you don't know anything? You wouldn't repeat a friend's name when addressing them face to face so why to a stranger. Why not just here you go, or have a great day?
I’m 37 and got my first “ma’am” a few a years back. The first one struck me (kinda hurt) but ever since, I’m like “thank you”!!! I’ve darn well earned that. I see it as a compliment, a sign of respect, and also a nod my femininity. Which I embrace! Thank you ma’am! 🤗
I live in Illinois across the river from Saint Louis Missouri. I can always tell if a young person grew up in a military family or from the south because they always say ma’am… It’s usually the other ones that are calling me hon or sweetie or babe… I always tell the ones who call me mam to thank their parents for me for raising them right and I thank them for treating me with respect
I was raised in the deep South( Texas). I got called "m'am" since 1st grade. My girlfriend is from Texas and calls me m'am too. She is 25 and Im 23. Its very everyday life xD
I’m from India and the default address for women in English is Ma’am or Madam. There’s usually no age-related or marital status connotation. I did, however, stubbornly insist on addressing my teachers in primary school as Miss instead of Ma’am for some reason. Maybe that’s why they all seemed to like me? 😂
I'm almost 29 but it's been ingrained by my momma and grandmothers so much it's reflex now. Which backfires sometimes cause northerners have asked me not to call them ma'am a few times and I TRY, but sometimes it slips out. It's not meant to be disrespectful!!
I'm currently a northerner and I say ma'am and sir at work and now almost everyone does it now, even customer's!! Watching these video's makes me realize, I'm a southerner at heart!!
When I was a kid, we moved from Tennessee to Detroit. The first time we went to the local grocery store, I opened the door for ... a lady... and she yelled at me for it. What you really need is a How-To manual for Southerns venturing out into the wilderness. How to cope with no sweet tea, rudeness, and terms like “water closet” or “bubbler”.
I think you and I have met the same female. I held a door open for this female near Los Angeles and was given a frosty "you DON'T have to hold the door open for me because I'm a lady" for my troubles. I smiled and replied with "I'm not, ma'am; I'm holding it open because I'm a gentleman." I'm not sure whether it was the ma'am or the implication that she was no lady that pushed her over the edge, but it was glorious.
I held a door for a guy in a wheel chair once, who then yelled at me.. I responded with, "I hold the door for everyone, what makes you different, Sir?" After 20 years, I still remember him and his attitude.
ShortTBone 'Water closet' is an old fashioned way to refer to a bathroom, a 'bubbler' is an upper Midwest term for a drinking fountain. Unsweet tea is the devil's work, and I'm one of those people who actually really likes bitter things lmao.
In the north, if someone sees the need to say "please", then you're not answering fast enough for them. Results and trustworthiness matter more than synthetic politeness.
@@elwoodblues9613 oooh, synthetic politeness...love the term. As a Southern it's been a struggle to fight against cultural breeding but I hate artificial politeness-agree completely about results and trustworthiness
@@lizab.4583 that depends greatly on the person using the phrase. Though it is well known that a person from NY, especially NYC that has good manners and what a person from the south would consider "well speaking etiquette " are as extremely rare as a polk a dot diamond, they do actually exist. I've met one such New Yorker in a lifetime that spans 50 years or better. Not that I'm prejudice against ppl from NY. It's not really their fault anyway. Most of the American south are extremely wide open spaces. Ppl literally have the room to be polite. But when you shove millions of ppl into a space that would comfortably only hold thousands, polite manners go out the nearest proverbial window. This in itself creates some of the most bitter and crotchety ppl on the planet.
Thank you so much for this! I called people Maam in California and other places and was told not to do it cuz its impolite. Its called raised with good manners! Originally from VA raised by Texan women and live in New Orleans now.
I use "Bless your heart" all the time, but I rarely mean it as an insult. I grew up with it truly meaning concern. I've used in in snarky ways, but mostly, I am really meaning it.
I just assumed the "Bless your heart" thing was depending on the time of voice. Bright and cheerful = thank you and praise, sorrowful = pity and sympathy, overly prim or sweet = vicious attack on a person's character. 🤣🤣
Life's hard out here for us young southerners who aren't on first name basis with ladies higher on the totem pole. You don't start a conversation with ma'am unless they're a stranger!
No offense, but that is your title in such a situation unfortunately!!! If possible, try to appreciate it... it's a sine of respect, nothing less or more Mrs. Your last name ;)
@@daninraleigh well, I personally prefer my first name. And if anybody wants their kids to call me something "more formal". Like the video said, just call me Miss Emyle. For other people, I just ask what they prefer to be called.
I'm from the Caribbean and we have the same manners when addressing people as in the South so when I first came to the US and moved to the North I was shocked by what I considered a lack of respect by calling people older than me just by their first name. It was a real struggle for me to do so and after all these years, I confess that it's still is!
I worked with Mexicans and we would be eating dinner together and often asked new workers where they lived when first coming to America. They would say NY and I'd ask where they like the best. They would quickly say here! Meaning the South. They said up North you speak to someone and they would get angry. In the South they said people would speak back friendly. Yet the South gets put down as being racist.
I swear to you that I sincerely thought that she (Judy Jefferson, The Ma'am Consultant) was talking about the Korean language! Because EVERYTHING that has been said about the South also applies to Koreans! SOUTH Koreans! LOL
I'm from South Texas. My first job up north, I kept calling my boss ma'am. She said it was rude...I literally had an anxiety attack. I couldn't stop no matter how many times she scolded me. When you receive a switch every time you don't say ma'am in public, it becomes ingrained.
I know. I've got sons, and it's been drummed into them from birth...Yes, sir. Yes, ma'am. Open doors...etc. But every once in awhile, we bump into someone who's visiting from some other place and they used to get confused, when their gesture was returned with open hostility. LOL. I remember Barbara Boxer "dressed down" a soldier during a congressional "whatever" meeting or something because he wouldn't stop calling her ma'am. I tried to explain...we're just not all raised the same, son. But, keep saying it. Keep opening the doors. The people who reject it, well that's on them. Be more afraid of me, if I catch you slipping...LOL.
I am from the south (Texas, living in L.A.) and love your videos. I wish you would address the term "Lady". Many years ago before gender confusion, I called a woman "Lady" and she got offended. I tried to explain to her any female could be a woman but that does not automatically make her a "Lady", and that "Lady" is a term of respect. I was always taught that a "Lady" was a woman of refinement, culture, manners and who was respected and showed respect for others.
Being from South Cack, I always say ma’am... I’ve even had old ppl tell me not to call them ma’am like I’m sorry but I’m not having my grandma jump out the bush on me with a switch. No MA’AM!
@@jacleesx2022 HOLLLAAAAAA! Thats what I’m Talmbout! G-vegas is not too far from where my grandma live in Hendersonville, NC. I lived in a little swamp town called Gadsden, abt 20 min south of Columbia, right off of 48 in between Hopkins and Eastover. Along the Congaree Swamp/Natl Park. Moved to Seattle in 2013, then to Augusta, GA in 2018.
Miss is for girls and young ladies (and politely addressing a friend's mother by their first name) Ma'am is for adult women Mrs is for married women (only when addressed with her husband) and older ladies (married, unmarried or widowed)
Hahaha we don't say maam as often as you think we do. And my dad always enforces those ridiculous rules, and I think "what's the use? No one uses it these days." Even in the south, we don't say maam. That's just a rare stereotype about southerners. Only maybe Canadians or people living in the Midwest would say something like that.
I got that alot when I moved to NY and from my supervisor at Publix. Just so happens she met my mom and she complained to my mom that I call her ma'am too much, momma had to explain to her that was a Southern thing and how she raised me. I say ma'am or sir to kids also....it's just how we are lol
I'm from Maryland, lived here all my life. I was taught that using "sir" and "ma'am" is required manners when speaking with strangers. But there have been a few times when people have looked at me funny for doing so. I haven't noticed a geographic pattern to it. I know my state isn't southern, which might be why some people get it and some don't? I dunno.
@@charlynwoolley8896 that is for strangers, not friends that are like family. Your kids grow up hearing you call your friends by name. It is acceptable to call them Miss first name or Mr. first name. They could always say Mz. instead of Miss.
I'm from Southern Oklahoma. Went to Wisconsin. Was in a store there. Told an older lady Yes Ma'am and she started screamin at me!! I couldn't believe it. Was raised with manners and was just being polite! She thought otherwise obviously! Smh 🤣🤣🤣
Grew up in Wisconsin. Got in trouble in the 4th grade for replying, “Yes, ma’am,” to a substitute teacher. She thought I was being sassy. I was totally confused.
So true! In Junior High, a new student teacher sent me to the principal's office for disrespecting her. I had no idea what I had done, but I went. And kids kept coming in until half the class was in there, all confused. Turns out she was from New England and in her early twenties. Yep, she thought ma'am was an insult. She didn't last to the end of the week.
man im so glad I already knew just from learning that saying ma'am and whatnot are manners in the South even thought i wasn't raised in the South, like if i ever take a trip down there or move down there i know what to expect and less chance of making any kind of screwup like that. I do remember having an old middle school friend who i think might've been a transplant from the South cause she would refer to my mom with 'Miss '
@@ladydontekno in the south, if you’re asked a question by a woman, the answer is yes, ma’am or no, ma’am. If you just answer yes or no you get in trouble. So if we don’t say ma’am when we’re grown we would be disrespecting you. And that is something we are taught to never do. We especially wouldn’t disrespect someone older than us. We’re still afraid of getting in trouble!
So true. I went to high school in WA state for a few years. I said "yes sir" to one of my teachers on one of the first days of school. He call my Moma later that night saying I was being disrespectful and rude in class. She asked him what I did and when he told her I had "yes sir" ...she had a come apart. She told him that despite how he was raised, we are Southern and respect our elders and like it or not he is my elder. If he wanted to call her again to say I was being disrespectful it better because I didn't say "yes sir". Said that he better get to use to be called "sir" as long as her child was in his class. I love my Southern Moma!
@@pixietwitch I don't think he did... Liberals don't like to be put in their place by somebody wiser than them... And can you blame them? Even children from the South have more sense than them...
When I was growing up in Virginia if the words "Sir" or "Ma'am" weren't somewhere in the wording of my sentences my father would appear from nowhere and harsh discipline followed.
To translate, as a Seattle native, calling someone "sir" is so out of context, it reads like sarcastic mockery. It would be like saying "yes, your most excellent royal highness" to your math teacher on the first day of school. I've trained myself out of that reaction, because I've known people who are from all sorts of different traditions, but that's where this disconnect comes from.
As a happy Southern transplant - this is half humor/half PSA. I was shocked the first time I was at a playground, and saw a toddler ask his mom for something. She replied to him "Yes, Sir." It was then that I caught on that Yes Ma'am/Sir is truly suitable for all ages here (and, many parents model that to teach their littles proper usage : )
My mom has dementia. When I visit, if she doesn’t recognize me, she calls me ma’am. Otherwise, she uses my nickname, but she’s always super polite to everyone. 🥰 So, ma’am away.
I'm sorry about your Mom. My Mom had dementia, too. She did not know my sister or I for 2 years. Her sweet disposition turned ugly. It was rough. Be patient and just keep loving her. God bless.
@@donnakaye2015 thank you, Donna. I know I’m blessed that she has a kind disposition. I have friends who feel like their parent is a different person because their temperament has completely changed. It is very hard to deal with for them and any other caregivers.
@@kdfleming2 It is hard. My Mom was the quietest, sweetest little lady. I hated seeing that smile go. I think dementia & alzheimer's are the hardest things to watch someone go thru. I cannot imagine losing every memory, and everyone you love, without even knowing it. I will be thinking of you.
maybe you can give these a try too? my grandma has been doing better with herbs like sage ( there was a study that in within 2 months i dont know exactly how many weeks) i think about 2 cups of sage tea daily (not too sure on the exact amount, hopefully fresh sage, people healed of alzheimers , also my grandma has had success with kurkuma, fish and (even the tiniest form of exercise) and of course above all prayers.. MAy Jesus heal your mom for His glory and by His power and help your whole family.
That, or possibly reserved for a woman much older than you ... From the west coast, moved to the somewhat South as a teen, and I remember calling someone ma'am over the phone. My mom was like "She's not a ma'am" LOL! I was picking up stuff from school that was different than was typical at home and out west. Still not all that comfortable using ma'am, for some reason "yes ma'am" has always sounded kind of sarcastic to me, I don't know why. I just didn't grow up with it.
We had some family friends who moved to Illinois from Texas. The first day in school, one of the daughters said "Yes, ma'am" to her teacher (in her 20's or 30's) and she got in trouble because the teacher thought she was sassing her. I went to college in southern Indiana and one of my friends (from northern Indiana) was called "ma'am" by a fellow student while working in the library. We'd already had this conversation so she understood what he meant, but she was still weirded out! Lol.
I heard from a girl from Virginia that you never say that, ever, in that state. You would get your butt kicked. Not sure if this is completely true, but I'm avoiding that state because my southern side would slip out no matter what.
@@ellerj641 Virginia is the state I live in. Ma'am isn't over-used in my area, but it is used. It might depend on the part of the state you're living in. Sometimes I'll use it, but not being a native Virginian or Southerner it just doesn't roll off the tongue naturally. Never offended anyone by using it here, though. Northern VA may be a different story, but IDK
I used to be a cashier at Zaxby's for about a year and I swear just about every customer to ever come through that restaurant (kids included) got the "yes ma'am/ yes sir" treatment from me. I mean, I couldn't just forget my manners, then people would think I wasn't raised right and we can't have that
When women get rudely offended that I held the door for them, you know like I do for any human because I was raised to have manners. Makes my soul ache.
And being a woman I enjoy the door being held for me and the car door I'm so proud when high schoolers do it at Jack's their mammas raised them right respect for others
I love it when young moms are teaching their kids to hold doors. I always thank the little, then I thank the mom also for teaching their kids good manners. Every single one looks so grateful.
Mine too. If you're the first one in, you hold it open for them and their family. THen they usually hold it open for you if there is another afterwards. You also acknowledge it and say thank you. Also, if you see an elderly person coming, you WAIT till they get there and then hold their door open for them and ask them if they need help with anything! To do otherwise... I was taught was rude and unmannerly. I was also taught when walking with a woman of any age down a sidewalk, the man always stands on the side nearest the road. He always pulls the chair out. He also regularly checks in on his neighbor, especially if their older. When people find issue with this... it makes me question not only what has happened, but what is wrong. It's a way of being neighborly and showing hospitality.
A friend of mine (a male) recently went on a trip to DC...(we're from Florida) went to a restaurant, held the entrance door open for a group of ladies, they hesitated to go in, looked at him like he had 3 heads...They entered, not one thank you...So sad...
My father was from the South and in the Military, we grew up that Yes Ma'am and Yes Sir were just good manners. I first found out that not everyone appreciated my good manners when I worked in Washington DC and was trying to be polite to my co-workers in the Office. I only stayed 2 months in that job. No Manners at all in DC.
Lol I guess we have to change how we speak because someone might get offended. So sad... People find any reason to be offended . Not from the South and I don't care I call people sir and ma'am out of respect...
I once had a teacher tell me not to call her ma'am. Being a southerner who was taught to ALWAYS use "Yes ma'am/sir", I was completely shocked, confused, and disturbed by this. Thank you for explaining, It's a Southern Thing.
I was on a drill team in Texas and we referred to every teammate as “ma’am” it’s respectful. Even if they were younger than us. If we didn’t say “yes ma’am” or “no ma’am” it was considered disrespectful 😂 now it’s engrained in my dialogue and I call everyone ma’am and it’s so funny to see non southerners get offended by it.
Thank you for this. I grew up in the South when "Yes, Ma'am" and "No, Sir" were deeply ingrained in one's comportment, especially in Elementary School. As I enter my eighth decade, these terms are reflex with folks from the North think I'm jerking them around. Nope. It's a Southern Thang.
When I moved down here from the big city of NY, I was mortified when someone called me Ma’am being that I’m a young, married mom! But then I quickly learned it’s a sign of respect and now I love being Ma’am’ed! And I even use “No Sir & No Ma’am when my kids (or pets) are acting up!
I have been called ma'am since i was a teenager (i look older than i actually am) but it has never bothered me. "Sir" and "ma'am" were respectful honorifics for me to use with people i did not know. For me it was common courtesy and simple politeness.
@@luscao8444 First establish yourself with a house, business, and other means to support a family. You have all the time in the world to find a wife, but she doesn't have all the time in the world to wait for a husband. Don't date until you are ready to marry and support a family. Women can only have children for a few short years of their lives and it is unfair to make them wait while you establish yourself. Older men find young wives all the time. Wait and find a young wife when you have plenty to offer.
@@johnw2026 "Agassi" is the term of address for a young woman who is no longer a student ("haksaeng"), but is probably unmarried. It's usually directed to women in their twenties and early thirties. "Ahjumma" is basically like "Madam," and is used more for women who are married or "appear old enough to probably be married." So, like middle-aged. But the thing is, if you don't actually know the person, you have to decide based on appearance which one you're using. So, if someone used to being called "agassi" gets called "ahjumma" for the first time, it suggests they've "passed a certain age," sort of like how "ma'am" works outside of the South.
@@IzzyKawaiichi ok . Thanks. Makes me think of the Hispanic language... A señorita is a little girl or unmarried young woman, a señora is married... Makes me wonder what they call an 80 year old woman who never married.
Omg, thank you. Raised by grandparents from east of the Mississippi and growing up in Cali I always got weird looks for being polite. I've moved to WV now and I feel at home finally.
Judy , I just found you ad on you tube , I'm 62 and that's exactly the way I was taught wen I grew up , I moved to Utah 7 and a 1/2 years ago , they look at you funny around here when you say ma'am or sir especially the ones who move here from California , you teach 'em sweetie , keep up the good work educate 'em good , ok ? By the way I'm sharing you ad for your book to my new Utah friends
I taught my kids to call adults “miss”/ “mr”, when using their first names, too. I grew up in the Midwest, though. It just sounds weird for a 5 year old to be like, “Hi Jim/ Jenny” to an adult, somehow🤷♀️
As a kid I used Mr. or Mrs. unless they insisted otherwise . . . which often lead to even stranger things such as calling them by their full names. The mother of two of childhood friends always wanted me to call her by her first name. I just couldn’t. She was Mrs. Surname. Her husband, who I rarely saw, was first name last name. Not sure how that happened. I don’t think I called him that to his face though, only when referencing him . . . not sure I ever talked to him much growing up and then we moved and I talked to him even less.
My parents are both from Ohio. I was taught as a boy to always call adults "Mr." or "Mrs.". Now I'm a middle-aged adult, and I still call those same people "Mr." and "Mrs." It wouldn't seem right to call them by their first names.
I struggled for years with what to call my parents best friends. We grew up with their kids, canoes together, all the birthdays celebrated together, etc. Every other adult outside of blood kin we were expected to use Mr. and Mrs. But this couple was almost family, but not really, and I avoided calling them by their first names for years and years after growing up. It confused me to no end. I can finally do it, but it still feels very wrong.
Wow! this is a real thing! I'm from Massachusetts and I was always under the impression that "ma'am" was a term of respect. I've even had a woman tell me she wished more men would speak to her with that kind of respect. I was very shocked when a woman I was having a mild argument with escalated the incident to a 10 when I referred to her as "ma'am," I thought the woman was nuts, I guess I'll just stick with "hey lady." when not in the south.
It's funny, because as a Northerner, the first time I got called "ma'am" up North, I was not happy. I moved to the South three years ago and it doesn't bother me to be called "ma'am" here at all - I actually find it pleasant. But I think that's because I know it's a sign of respect here, whereas it's a herald of "you are now an invisible old" up North.
"Ma'am" is short for "Madame". But in the South, if you call someone Madame, you just assumed their means of income. So be sure to use your apostrophe.
Unless she is a prominent member of society like Madame Walker, the famous entrepreneur. In that case, it is a sign of respect for her position in the community.
@@DodiTov she was an exception, and a kick butt woman. I admire her ! She was the First Black woman I read about that created a absolute unfathomable fortune for her time!
I love watching this channel as a New Englander for cultural exposure. I've never consciously thought that saying "Ma'am" or "Sir" was rude, but now that you mention it, when people do say it (in a Northern cultural context) it has always come across to me as sarcastic or mocking. A lot of comments are talking about how if "Ma'am" or "Sir" AREN'T used, in the South, it's very rude-- but where I'm from, it's impolite to say them (except by visiting Southerners-- then we understand).
I was 16 and working at my first job McDonald's the first time I got called sir. It was from a 5 or 6 year old needing a straw, and it still haunts me to this day.
I was 21. I started to correct the little guy but a concerned look from his dad made me hold my tongue. I thought about it for just a second and recognized my dad teaching me the same when I was the little guy's age. It was basically anyone capable of paying income tax received the honorific
So true! I work in customer service in Tennessee so saying "ma'am" and "sir" is pure reflex. It's also all in the tone of voice when you address people. Trust me, a southern will still properly address you while they chew your butt out!
I get annoyed when 'customer service' calls me by my first name or 'miss'...miss is what I call my grand daughters (or girlie if I am having a memory fog day).
I bet by doing that, it has kept you from getting a lot of “looks” and remarks like, Yes what ? “Yes ma’am” , that’s better. Haha Have a great day everyone !
I've heard/been called/used ma'am all my life. Born and raised in MN and now live in SD. there's nothing military about my family and we're not an ounce southern
I remember three distinct prefixes for women: Miss was for women younger than you who aren't married. Mrs. or Missus was a title of respect for women your age or older, and definitely married or holding a position of authority. The last one is Ms., pronounced "miz". Not miss -- it's miz. That one was for addressing older women if you don't know if they're married or not, they've asked you to call them by their first name (Ms. Dorothy), or if they've just asked you to call them Ms. out of personal preference.
This is what I learned growing up in CA, but most people just tended to say Miss, Mrs., or Ms. depending on how they introduced themselves, and Ms. was the default regardless of age
Here's what I was taught, condensed: Unmarried giris/women: Miss Surname Married/Widowed: Mrs. Surname Default if status or age is not known: Ms. Surname Ma'am is used if answering a question, acknowledging presence, greeting, obedience to orders given and assurance she will be obeyed if in authority. Ma'am is used at all times unless told otherwise
But what about married women younger than you, or unmarried women older than you? You know I'm German, and it doesn't make sense for me at all. We just call everybody Frau Last Name or just the surname. We don't have this married or not thing anymore. We did, a long time ago. It was Fräulein for unmarried woman or little girls, but if somebody would ever call me Fräulein I would be seriously mad!! I'm not a child, I'm grown up, so treat me like that.
California raised I am...by a Southener. Not sorry for manners. Growing up, the only adult I was allowed to call by their first names were my parent's best friends Benny & Esselene. If Benny told me to do something, response was Yes, Sir. Esselene is 89 years old and I will say Yes Ma'am to her or introduce her as Mrs. I was with her in Benny's hospital room when a nurse came in and addressed them both by their first names. I gave her a look that Medusa would be proud of. Better believe that was corrected to Mr and or Mrs the next time. I still call my former neighbor Mrs. Thomas. Not Elaine, Mrs. Thomas. It will always be that way. It is a formality that shows respect and it should be observed.
Raised in socal but winter break and summer vacations were spent with family in Tennessee, Louisiana and Quebec. Was working in AZ when they shipped a bunch of hurricane Katrina survivors out. It was hilarious when the Cajuns would come into the store and none of my Hispanic employees could understand their creole. I would have to come up and interpret.
Even though Springfield, Missouri is technically in the Midwest, we have a LOT of Southern feel and culture here. I grew up calling all females ma'am regardless of their ages. And we refer to all males as sirs, at least older people do.
I'm not that far away in KCMO and I'm getting ma'am all the time!!! Now my kid is even saying it to me lol! We moved here from PA and NO ONE SAYS MA'AM THERE!!!
Umm... Springfield Missouri is... well Just like Arkansas... we're the South, not necessarily the midwest, though we're right on that cusp too. Just like you could count Texas as South and A little western. We were south of the mason dixon line and our states cultures have always been that shaped by the true Southern Gentlemen and Ladies. The country folk. The further north you go in Missouri is a little different but still usually the same basic values. I grew up in the Ozark Mountains, whether that was Branson, Omaha, Harrison, or elsewhere. I remember Branson when only a few of the old time entertainers was there. We're definitely Southern.
Been there and agree. Missouri is a dual state. Had two Civil War governments one Yankee, one Confederate. However I'd be proud to consider anything along and south of the Missouri River "Little Dixie", the eastern & southern Arkansas /Oklahoma border regions, and along the Mississippi south of St. Louis to be in the South!
"Miss" is reserved for "politely addressing the mothers of your childhood friends by their first name." YES! None of my non-southern friends understand this.
Or as a quick way to get the attention of a woman as so:(but only used by men giving back an item the woman forgot)
_Miss_ _MISS_ you Forgot your hat MISS
OR
MISS *you're not allowed in there that's for ---oww my foot..!!.!....!.
Absolutely! My friends moms were always Ms. Jenny, Ms. Marla, Ms. Crystal, etc.
So here in Ohio we have this older lady I work with that everyone calls Miss Sue. When talking to my mom about it she asked if she's married. Well yes Miss Sue is married, but Mrs. Sue just isn't right. I'd never realized why, but yeah she's like the friends mother to us all or grandmother almost to some.
I get called Miss Beverley. Love it.
My southern dad taught me that one despite us all living in the north now lol, Miss Theresa and Miss Clark, Miss That and Miss That!
"Sorry darling. Miss is reserved for little girls, or politely address the mothers of your childhood friends by their first name." That is the most accurate thing I've ever heard.
I've had the mom of my son's little friends tell their kids to call me Miss Megan after I told them to just call me Megan. She said it almost admonishingly towards me. I thought it was really rude. I think I should get to decide what I'm called honestly (within reason afterall, it's not like I was asking them to call me Hot B!tch or anything)
That's Miss pronounced Mz. As in hello Mz. Alice or adult men are Mr. John. And young men were addressed as Master, but usually not in person , but in written form. Growing up in La. every letter I received was addressed to Mstr. John whether from family, friends or others.
I was taught as a kid, (usually reserved for you or your kids teachers)
Miss= non-married
Ms. = unknown marriage status
Mrs. = married
And you should never assume that Mrs. Is okay without knowing that she prefers it
@@stitches318 Nope. It's up to the child's parents to decide how their child will address their seniors.
If you're from the South!! It's "Darlin"!!! 😉
i grew up learning that saying “ma’am” and “sir” is a way of showing respect to people you either don’t know or aren’t close to. Or if you’re in trouble and don’t wanna make it worse
Exactly!
Yup.
Same here in Nagaland 👀
I'm so glad I wasn't taught that growing up. Don't get me wrong, it's a super polite thing to do and it's great that people do it, but with the type of person I am it would just seem... disingenuous?
@@trickytreyperfected1482 we all have our own way of showing respect, so that doesn't seems a problem to me .
"or to see the manager"
missed opportunity for the _Ma'amager_
Oh, If the Ma'amager is coming for you - RUN!!!
So true
Underrated comment
You're onto something here.
Manager - male in charge of a department. Also used as the unisex/gender neutral/gender unknown version.
Ma'amager - female in charge of a department. Also used when someone who would otherwise be called "manager" takes especially good care of subordinates by asking about their momma, bringing in fresh baked goodies every week, and correcting things like grammar/posture/hygiene mistakes.
Ah, Avery everywhere.
It hadn't occurred to me that these unspoken rules existed, until I realized we all (in South Carolina) follow them subconsciously to the letter. 😂
I’ve lived in CA for 5 years now (grew up in Dallas) it took me a loooong time to realize ma’am was not a welcome word here some of my family out here still stiffens when I say it subconsciously
Yes ma’am!
You were taught right.
Yes, ma'am, I was, and every one of my children knows they better answer the same.
I know!!
I’m from Texas, and my wife is from Canada. When we were visiting Canada, I was at a grocery store checkout and the lady asked if that would be all. I answered, “yes ma’am.” She looked at me and said, “you’re not from around here,are you?” I answered, “no ma’am, how did you know?” She said, “you called me ma’am.”
In Canada, they call each other comrade
I find this hard to believe
Do north Americans really believe "ma'am" is an insult?
@@omega0195 I can’t speak for Northerners, seeing as how they seem to be from a different world. Especially now a days.
I'm a northerner. I always saw it as respectful, but I'm afraid most of us here see it as an insult. My sister (english isn't her first language, but she first learned english in the north) said that "ma'am" is an insult because it's a term used for old women, like a respectful version of "grandma".
One time in high school my German teacher asked me not to call him sir and I compulsively answered “yes sir, I’m sorry sir, it won’t happen again sir”
My Mom was from Staton Island, and Dad from Kentucky (Navy man). My Dad left when I was 9. My Mom had no rule to call her Ma'am. It was Yea, huh, what? I grew up in Georgia and had to force myself to say Ma'am!
I was raised in the south and one time I didn’t say yes ma’am and my teacher went crazy and started giving me a whole speech on how I have to say yes ma’am and yes sir and just went crazy and I was 6 years old at the time and u started crying because it was in front of the class and she was yelling and I went home and told my mother and she said well next time you should say yes ma’am and get use to saying it and i was use to saying it it just that day I forgot to
@@piglover7420 woah what
I had a speech teacher in high school that INSISTED we call her 'Doctor Miller'.
What did I call her?
Mrs.'Dr.Miller'.
The entire class caught on and she hated it.
@@piglover7420 That teacher probably also thinks the south will rise again and certain sections of the community need a good whooping behind the wood shed.
"Granny has sole custody of the Ma'am title" unless the granddaughter just said something ugly. Then she'll get a firm "No Ma'am!" In response!
I'm so southern, I even call my dogs ma'am and sir when I scold them! 😆
Right
Lawdy, it’s my aunt with her pets!!
Same with my pets and I’m 18 almost 19 but they are like my children
I "No Ma'am!" my niece when I'm scolding her. Apparently I do it often enough that when the grocery store clerk called me ma'am my niece asked me what I'd done wrong.
As do I
I have the opposite story. I remember first being called ma’am as a pre-teen by a restaurant worker. I was pleasantly surprised and took it as a sign that I was becoming an adult. As a shy, socially anxious child it meant a lot to me for a brief moment.
Same😂
Aweee 🥹🥹🥹 That’s beautiful.
I personally feel like ma’am
is a term of endearment
Aww. that's sweet. 🥰
Nobody:
Southern woman trying to get an unspecific man's attention:
"Sir. SIR. Sir! SIR!"
Don’t forget the snapping.
I'm a Southern Transplant in the North. People here use the term "Ma'am" (customer's do) snapping fingers and all to get people's attention. Um... can I help you? in my sweetest voice. lol
I thought that was the same everywhere.😆
@@ZeeNastee 😆🤣
People say "sir" everywhere. I'm sorry, but you can't claim it as part of the southern identity
I have a youngish teacher who’s in her 20s and she doesn’t understand that we call her ma’am as a sign of respect, we’re not trying to call her old.
Is she's from the north she may think so:) Just let her know it's a Southern sign of respect that all children are taught at a young age in the South:) If I say Ma'am when I visit my relatives up North I get the same response;)
I retired from the Army. Anytime you engage a person not wearing rank, you address a person as "Sir" or "Ma'am". You never know if that person has standing and 'Treat others as you would like to be treated'.
@@pinkrose5796 yes she is I go to school in the north and I’ve had teachers that don’t like me calling them ma’am or sir, they think they’re being called old or being talked back to.
Try addressing her as she would like to be addressed. That indicates more respect than just calling her what you choose to, whether she is comfortable with it or not. That's like someone identifying as Mrs. So and So and me insisting on using Ms. only, even after they tell me they prefer Mrs.
@@elizabeth568 I mean if your teachers prefer to be called Miss/Mrs etc. then it's just nicer and more respectful to comply. My name is Caroline but I usually go by Carol. It's not a big deal if someone calls me Caroline, but it would eventually be irritating if I kept correcting them and they refused.
The first time a lady got upset with me for calling her “Ma’am”… I was soooo confused. I thought it was just good manners. 😱❤️
Now you know.
I'd rather be called ma'am than a term of endearment! I hate endearments. Ma'am is polite.
I ran into a lefty female who thought it was a racist term. She confused 'Mammy' with 'Ma'am'. She didn't appreciate my correction of her idiocy but by that time I had long ago stopped caring about if I offended overly sensitive people.
It makes them feel old.
Also, ok for any female waitstaff anywhere in the south to call their customers hun, darlin' or sweetie, regardless if their male or female or their spouse/significant other is sitting there. Seen more often in truck stop diners and Waffle House and Denny's restaurants , but you could run into that anywhere in the south. If you get this waitperson, it's a guarantee that your coffee cup or tea glass will not go empty during your entire stay.
absolutely!
You betcha sugar!!!
True facts, and I really like when they call me sweetie, etc.
Drop a nice tip, and "Thank ya darling."
Yep. These are always the best and they don't hover to much but are there when you do need em . I give em generous tips
I'm Southern born and raised. I now live in Michigan. When a woman gets upset at me for calling her Ma'am I respond with "Oh I'm sorry Sir." Talking about throw gas on a fire, LOL.
Ha! Sounds like something my dad, uncles, or brother would do.😂
Born in Michigan, raised in the south I love the manners there, the "Oh, I'm sorry Sir!" is perfect Michigan sarcasm speak you handle fluently. So you speak southern and Michiganese sarcasm! best of both worlds!
Why would you purposely do something to upset a stranger? Just accept that there’s cultural differences and respect that they don’t want to be called ma’am.
Hahaha
I just made the ugliest sound
"Ma'am" always sounded so polite in southern accent
I even say no ma’am, to my dog when she’s doing something wrong.🤨🤔🙄😆
I do too !!!
i tell my dog good girl because if i dont shell tinkle in the hard wood
Me too!!! 😂
Omg I do that too I go no mam or yes mam according to if she been good or not lol
Same here!
“I don’t make the rules I just enforce them” lol
Brilliant
@@jshepard152 I just loved that part of this video because of The look on Talia’s face when she says that part.
I fell OUT!
And enforce them we do!
My wife's cousins lived in Michigan for awhile. Their son got detention for being disrespectful to his teacher. At the parent-teacher conference they were told he was constantly being sarcastic by calling her ma'am. They educated her on how kids are raised in Texas. No kid had ever called her ma'am before.
I have heard very similar stories from friends that I knew in college from other areas of the country(mostly in the north).
Back in the very early 00s, a woman from somewhere up North started working at our Boys&Girls Club. She asked everyone to call her by their first name and kept saying not to say ma'am. Some kids did because their parents weren't there/couldn't hear and she was being kind of annoying about it, but I never did.
At some point my mother was there for some reason and this Northern woman goes up to her and says that she told me to call her by her first name and not say ma'am and that she could tell that I was very deliberately disobeying her. My mom just looked at her and said "Good for her that she keeps using her manners even though you told her not to."
20 years later, I still remember the look on her face! It was just priceless! She was NOT happy and ignored me from that point on. My meemaw still brings this up a minimum of once every year.
@@mchobbit2951 oops. While we want people to be understanding that "ma'am" and "sir" are not insults, if they ask us to call them something else specifically, then the polite thing to do is to call them that thing. How would you feel if someone insisted on calling you "lady" if you had asked them to call you "ma'am?"
@@cardboardbelt I do now as an adult, not use ma'am or sir if someone doesn't want me to. I call people what they ask me to call them. It is VERY different as an adult though. As a kid, it's like this person is telling you to do something that your parents told you to never ever do and you're there trying to decide who to obey. It really was a pretty uncomfortable situation for us kids.
If I were working at the Boys and Girls Club in New England, I wouldn't demand that anyone call me ma'am. Just like I wouldn't go teach prek in Japan and tell the students to call me Miss Michelle because that's normal down South. It would be wrong of me to come in as an outsider and demand that everyone do things the way they are done where I come from.
I was raised to say ma’am or sir if not I’d get a back hand real quick btw I’m from Mississippi
I'm from Louisiana and it's the same for us. My children have been raised the same way. You can tell transplants, when they get that "just slapped in the face look" the first time a 20ish person calls them Ma'am.
Same!!!!! Expect I'm from Georgia
OP, it's nice to see someone also from the Magnolia State.
Same in North Carolina, the back of that hand came out of nowhere.
Us too
"If it's female and has a pulse it's legally required to call it 'Ma'am'". 😂😂😂 FACTS! Toddlers and teens are no exception.
I'm just imagining the culture shock for a northerner who hears a mom say to her female toddler in a grocery store 'No, ma'am. You put that down right now. I'm not paying for that.'
Yep! My daughter knows better than to be disrespectful to her mom. If she just says "yes" I tell her "yes what?" and she corrects herself haha.
@@inkygloves5197 Honestly it doesn’t sound weird just kinda funny lol
I never had an issue calling a woman “ma’am” until I interacted with people from CA while I was working retail. I had a 60 year old woman get pissy with me for it 🤦🏼♀️😂
Yeah i grew up in California. And I wouldn’t even address my professors as Mr or mrs because it made them feel old haha
I was raised by two military parents and was taught that saying ma’am and sir were signs of respect. Never did I ever think it could be insulting
Raised by my most of my life single mother and my Grandparents. THe one I was around the most was ex career military. Same thing. Only they were also Southern, so... never thought it could be anything but respectful!
I wasn't raised by any military, but I can't imagine anyone ever thinking ma'am or sir are anything but manners. I don't understand how it's considered rude by anyone...and yet, I'm seeing a lot of people in these comments say that where they are from, it is rude. 🤷♀️
Dad was military, Grandad, an uncle and an older cousin were all military, so the sir's and ma'ams were required in our Southern, God fearing, church going military family.
It's only insulting if you want it to be. These days people are just looking for anything to get upset over.
I had a woman (from New Hampshire) scream at me and my son, who was 12 at the time, because he called her Ma'am. She went off like a rocket (in church). I told her I'd raised my boys to be Southern Gentlemen. She replied, "I might have known it was some Southern thing! If he calls me ma'am again, I'm gonna hit you!" I was politely unapologetic. She turned to my son again, and said, "You come with me, young man!" He shrugged and smiled, "Yes, ma'am." She gave me a death look and stormed off. What do you know, even then, he had a smart mouth. :)
When my daughter was 2 and would climb something she shouldn't I would tell her no mam, she's grown up with it. It's never too early to start.
I address all the children in my Sunday school class as "ma'am" or "sir", because it's about respect, and like you said, it's never too early.
👍🏼🙂
And that " no mam" or "no sir" comes in a momma tone with a look that means business.
Hell, I even tell my (girl) dog, nnno-ma'am! Lol
@@az547 I have definitely "no ma'am!"-ed my cat
I moved to East Tennessee 2 years ago and use this channel like an online college class. Thanks for the help.
LOL! I was a teacher and required my students to say "yes ma'am"/"no ma'am". One of my students' dad told me "ma'am" is a "southern thing". I told him that "ma'am" is a "manners" thing to show respect. All of my students were "sweetie and darlin"!😁💓
Ok I’d love to do this in my classroom! I miss yes ma’am no sir so much, it feels like my kids are being so rude to me when they call me miss or Mrs (I know they aren’t tho)
Yes ma’am. That’s very true.
Where I'm from, saying "yes ma'am" is bad manners because it means you're mocking the person.
@@jankelen doesn’t that just depend on tone? Like I can say yes ma’am with an eyeroll (I’ll get smacked but I can)
Ma'am is politeness and manners. It's just not as common outside the south, but it's perfectly valid to use anywhere :) everyone deserves politeness
Funny enough. As a 30 year old woman I get a bit miffed when strangers call me by my first name instead of Ma’am. Deep inside I’m internally just going
1) I’m 30.
2) I’m married.
3) This is the South
4) And I don’t know you like that.
My name is Ma’am to you.
Granted I never say it because that would be rude and my momma raised a lady. 😂
I feel the same way I’m in my 20s
I’m married, I have a baby and I live in the south don’t call me miss. Yet I get called miss all the time and I get irritated.😂
@@erickae.419 I agree miss is reserved for little girls. I do accept Ms. with the mizz pronunciation.
That's funny. I grew up in NY but live in the South now. It still grinds my nerves when ppl call me ma'am or Mrs.
I prefer Miss, Ms., or my first name. But in Atlanta, our rules are all over the place so we accept everything... except "sweetie" 😳
My husband HATES being called by his first name at the bank or Sam's Club. His membership card says Mr. (Lastname)
Oh gosh it creeps me out when random people I don't know use my name...
As a native Texan who lived in Seattle for 10 years... I got so sick of explaining the ma'am thing. I tried to quit saying it, but my Grandmommy's voice would trigger in the back of my mind every time.
I've said "sorry sir" to a man after he told me not to call him sir. It's second nature.
Same. Lol
Imagine how mad they got lol
ive eventually just told them that im sorry if i do but not calling you sir would be an insult
Y'all see that young guy from Louisiana on America got talent I think?..his answers were , "yes sir.".the judges told him he didn't have to say it,still did though.they found it s bit funny...then he he wowed them with a country song
To anyone even remotely insulted by Ma'am, just know that Ma'am was originally reserved for high ranking royal ladies like the queen and princesses. To be called ma'am is a respect thing and is basically calling someone royalty. So embrace it. We all know southern women are queens anyway.
Uh... no. It’s literally the French equivalent of Mister (Monsieur) that’s bestowed as a sign of respect on women who age out of the age range for being called Mademoiselle (young lady).
Exactly. The Queen of England is called your royal highness the first time meeting her. After that she's called ma'am.
and it's Ma'am that rhymes with Palm NOT Ma'am that rhymes with Jam for HRH Elizabeth Regina.
No offense, but not every Southerner woman is a lady. Some are down right tacky, trashy and rude.
@@hotjanuary monsieur and mister are for men. Ma'am's French equivalent would be madame but the English equivalent to madame could be madam but let's be honest Ma'am is just a slang version of madam as seen by the ' in ma'am where the D once stood tall and proud.
Grew up in the south AND joined the military after high school so “sir” and “ma’am” came naturally… but being stationed in San Diego was a culture shock. I thought I was being polite and respectful but didn’t realize how offended people got by that!!!! I felt uncomfortable NOT addressing someone by saying sir or ma’am. I was legit waiting for my phone to ring and my mom ask me why am I being rude and disrespectful not addressing someone properly. Lol
Oh that's CA. Good grief.
CA might as well be on another planet.
Why people have to call anybody a name, y'all aren't being respectful like you think just don't call anyone anything and just say thank you or have a good day period
The first time a women sgt yelled at me it was because I had responded "YES MAAM" to her question.
She then laughed at me and herself because of my accent and the look on my face.
I was all of 17.
I said "yes sir" the first day of basic training and was answered with "sir? Don't call me sir, I work for a living" and then I wondered what the hell to say. So I just shut the hell up till I figured it out.
@@thenatureboybh9148 💀
@anxiousfroggy the “Don’t sir me, I work for a living,” is an Non-commissioned officer vs officer thing in the military. You use sir with officers, I.e. lieutenants and higher - most of whom are younger than the nco’s. You use “yes, sergeant,” or “yes, insert rank” for nco’s. And I’m not in the military or have any family in.
@@johnmarkconnolly6414 omg wait im stupid I didn't see that they said basic training
@@johnmarkconnolly6414 I'm in the marines so I know that stuff but I just read it wrong lol
The hardest thing was going to work in my twenties and being told to call my boss (50+) by his first name. I felt awful.
Same! Call everyone by their first name!? That's illegal in the South!
@@TheOReport1994 Not where I live.
thats almost how it is for me rn, but even weirder because they use nicknames for her too ╥﹏╥ what is this informality?
Not from the South but I'm Indian and in California and it's a struggle. Elders aren't supposed to be called by their first name!
I would think the easiest compromise would be to call the person by there first name but also attaching a Mr. or Mrs. before hand, like Mr. John or Mrs. Sarah or Ms. Jessica. Or if they insist on the nick name part be like Mr.”nickname” how are you doing today. If they don’t like just say it’s something from where you grew and a sign of respect for people of power or authority in your life.
I grew up in East Texas where I had to use "yes ma'am" and "yes sir". I'm in my 20s teaching elementary school in a rural Texas town, and I get "yes ma'am" from all my students. I love it! It helps me feel like an actual adult! I'm happy as long as they don't accidently call me grandma
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. I cringe every time I call someone ma’am and they say “Don’t call me that, it makes me feel old”, screw that. I worked hard to make it to adulthood and I DESERVE the respect of “Ma’am”.
Yes Ma'am ...I completely agree and appreciate having the door opened for me too.
👏🏻
I understand, but for some reason I like sir better
@@ayeKnow - I’ll take a “Sir” anytime, as long as it’s not said sarcastically. I mean no one has ever said it to me without sarcasm, but I’d still take it.
Nobody works hard to make it to adulthood. All you have to do is not die, which is in no way difficult.
I mostly grew up in the south even though my family isn't that southern. These jokes aren't even exaggerations. Like they're 100% true.
I got in trouble on the Internet once by calling someone "Hon." I was answering a question she asked in a group. It was a sincere question and answer. She went ballistic. First, she said I spelled it wrong (nope, "Hon" is short for "honey"). Then, she said I was belittling her. I tried to explain I was Southern, and I use it when addressing most women (I am a woman myself). I don't think "Hon," "Sweetie," "Ma'am" are insults or patronizing. She kept on and on about it, how it was degrading women to call them "Hon." I view it as being polite and kind. I refrain from using it at work, but most everywhere else, I use it. She should be glad I didn't call her "Doll" or "Baby Doll." I have an aunt who I picked that up from. I never use that outside of the family. But, Hon? Hon is being nice.
"Hon" and "Darlin'" are acceptable for all ages. I kinda feel like "Sweetie" is reserved for older folks to use on younger, (although younger adults can use it for children). People who lose their minds over endearing terms, or think they're degrading, just weren't raised right - bless their hearts.
Hon, sweetie, etc. are only used in romantic relationships outside of the south. Otherwise it comes across as creepy and perhaps manipulative.
@@happycook6737 That's why it's important to explain it to people so they understand. Different places have different cultures.
I'm from the south and if a strange man calls me hon I don't go ballistic because I'm polite but I instantly think less of him. Even in the south, you don't just go around calling random females hon or honey. That's a name used for people you know. You use, Ma'am, Mrs, Miss, or whatever. Now if a Grannie calls me hon or sweetie that's okay. But no you shouldn't expect good results going around calling unfamiliar females hon or sweetie unless they are much much younger than you.
The problem is in the South the women are smiling and keeping their mouths shut to be polite. Then we go home and get on the phone with our friends later and say. "You won't believe what this (insert unflattering term here) called me. Bless his heart." LOL Because we reserve our rage for actual offenses. XD
@@99PercentOffFreeHugs Maybe in your area of the South. Where I'm from, it's very common. All the women in my family do it. It is not derogatory. Maybe you're just uptight and looking to be offended.
In the South. If is it Female and had a pulse. Your legally required to call it ma' am 1:55-2:02 funny.
lol if you don't your granny is going get out of her grave, and grab a switch ;)
I was tickled the first time someone called me ma'am. I knew then I was a true Southern lady💕🌷
Right!!! I got called ma'am not to long along. I actually turned around thinking the person must've been talking to someone older that was behind me..... realized it was me she was talking to 🤦
Listen my elderly Aunt sent me a letter addressed to Mrs. (My husband’s name). I knew in that moment I was a true adult. 🤣 I was like look honey I’ve made it in the world!
(Educated, careered, and my greatest accomplishment is a 90 year old addressing me as Mrs. someone else! 😆)
Edit: I actually enjoy when I get a letter from her addressed like that. Like letter writing I think it is a thing of a bygone era. It feels like a very antique way for her to acknowledge that I now belong at the adults table at Thanksgiving.
@@3daysandotherlies776 so beautiful. lovely post.
I'm from California. Lady is an insult here too. It's mostly those whose family recently moved here. They also get insulted when I call a group of females Guys or use the word Dude on a female, and yes, Dude is gender Neutral. I rarely do, unless I want to piss off some lady with a stick up her butt. Also Girls are not allowed as well.
It's definitely a right of passage!
A true cultural difference. In many places across the country, you may as well be yelling, "Hey, Old Lady!" when you say "ma'am". Whereas in the South, NOT saying "ma'am" is equivalent to addressing all women with "Whassup, babe?" I've never had a problem with "Sir", not since I was first called that at a Denny's around age 19!
But why call someone you don't know anything? You wouldn't repeat a friend's name when addressing them face to face so why to a stranger. Why not just here you go, or have a great day?
I’m 37 and got my first “ma’am” a few a years back. The first one struck me (kinda hurt) but ever since, I’m like “thank you”!!! I’ve darn well earned that. I see it as a compliment, a sign of respect, and also a nod my femininity. Which I embrace! Thank you ma’am! 🤗
I live in Illinois across the river from Saint Louis Missouri. I can always tell if a young person grew up in a military family or from the south because they always say ma’am… It’s usually the other ones that are calling me hon or sweetie or babe… I always tell the ones who call me mam to thank their parents for me for raising them right and I thank them for treating me with respect
I'm so happy you're embracing it! We really do mean to show respect and kindness. I always feel good calling someone ma'am or being called ma'am! 😊
I was raised in the deep South( Texas). I got called "m'am" since 1st grade. My girlfriend is from Texas and calls me m'am too. She is 25 and Im 23. Its very everyday life xD
I’m from India and the default address for women in English is Ma’am or Madam. There’s usually no age-related or marital status connotation.
I did, however, stubbornly insist on addressing my teachers in primary school as Miss instead of Ma’am for some reason. Maybe that’s why they all seemed to like me? 😂
Mrs. Sarah... are you related Herbert Doan from Broken bow Oklahoma? Those are my cousin.
I’m 50 and I’ve been saying M’aam most of that time. Telling me not to say it is like telling me not to breathe.
AMEN!
And I'm 79!
I'm almost 29 but it's been ingrained by my momma and grandmothers so much it's reflex now. Which backfires sometimes cause northerners have asked me not to call them ma'am a few times and I TRY, but sometimes it slips out. It's not meant to be disrespectful!!
@@stephsdlnthms3957 at least you understand that ma’am isn’t necessary with us, many of your southern peers don’t get it.
I'm currently a northerner and I say ma'am and sir at work and now almost everyone does it now, even customer's!! Watching these video's makes me realize, I'm a southerner at heart!!
When I was a kid, we moved from Tennessee to Detroit. The first time we went to the local grocery store, I opened the door for ... a lady... and she yelled at me for it. What you really need is a How-To manual for Southerns venturing out into the wilderness. How to cope with no sweet tea, rudeness, and terms like “water closet” or “bubbler”.
I think you and I have met the same female. I held a door open for this female near Los Angeles and was given a frosty "you DON'T have to hold the door open for me because I'm a lady" for my troubles. I smiled and replied with "I'm not, ma'am; I'm holding it open because I'm a gentleman." I'm not sure whether it was the ma'am or the implication that she was no lady that pushed her over the edge, but it was glorious.
I held a door for a guy in a wheel chair once, who then yelled at me.. I responded with, "I hold the door for everyone, what makes you different, Sir?" After 20 years, I still remember him and his attitude.
I’m sorry what are those??
ShortTBone 'Water closet' is an old fashioned way to refer to a bathroom, a 'bubbler' is an upper Midwest term for a drinking fountain. Unsweet tea is the devil's work, and I'm one of those people who actually really likes bitter things lmao.
@@candicehoneycutt4318 thank you. I knew water closet but bubbler had me.
Where i live, calling someone "Maam" implies that they are acting irrational and need to calm down. Like "Maam, please dont throw that table"
Same... WA state
You must be from New York or sum such place like that. Bless your heart....
In the north, if someone sees the need to say "please", then you're not answering fast enough for them. Results and trustworthiness matter more than synthetic politeness.
@@elwoodblues9613 oooh, synthetic politeness...love the term. As a Southern it's been a struggle to fight against cultural breeding but I hate artificial politeness-agree completely about results and trustworthiness
@@lizab.4583 that depends greatly on the person using the phrase. Though it is well known that a person from NY, especially NYC that has good manners and what a person from the south would consider "well speaking etiquette " are as extremely rare as a polk a dot diamond, they do actually exist. I've met one such New Yorker in a lifetime that spans 50 years or better. Not that I'm prejudice against ppl from NY. It's not really their fault anyway. Most of the American south are extremely wide open spaces. Ppl literally have the room to be polite. But when you shove millions of ppl into a space that would comfortably only hold thousands, polite manners go out the nearest proverbial window. This in itself creates some of the most bitter and crotchety ppl on the planet.
Thank you so much for this! I called people Maam in California and other places and was told not to do it cuz its impolite. Its called raised with good manners! Originally from VA raised by Texan women and live in New Orleans now.
Oh, I want your book on "Someone just said 'Bless your heart' but I think it was an insult'". And of course, if you're in Texas, it was.
They did a video on "Bless Your Heart".
I use "Bless your heart" all the time, but I rarely mean it as an insult. I grew up with it truly meaning concern. I've used in in snarky ways, but mostly, I am really meaning it.
It is....bless your heart!
I just assumed the "Bless your heart" thing was depending on the time of voice. Bright and cheerful = thank you and praise, sorrowful = pity and sympathy, overly prim or sweet = vicious attack on a person's character. 🤣🤣
@@ElizIndRhythm this ☝️
"Nobody wants that. Ever." Soo, so true. My pastor cannot wrap his brain around the fact "Mrs. Wass" is my mother in law. Not me. Not ever.
Life's hard out here for us young southerners who aren't on first name basis with ladies higher on the totem pole. You don't start a conversation with ma'am unless they're a stranger!
So what do you call ladies when you are in that situation? Yes I’m from the north but southern at heart... LOL!!!
No offense, but that is your title in such a situation unfortunately!!! If possible, try to appreciate it... it's a sine of respect, nothing less or more Mrs. Your last name ;)
@Emyle Wass So, what do you say, instead of Mrs??
@@daninraleigh well, I personally prefer my first name. And if anybody wants their kids to call me something "more formal". Like the video said, just call me Miss Emyle. For other people, I just ask what they prefer to be called.
I'm from the Caribbean and we have the same manners when addressing people as in the South so when I first came to the US and moved to the North I was shocked by what I considered a lack of respect by calling people older than me just by their first name. It was a real struggle for me to do so and after all these years, I confess that it's still is!
I worked with Mexicans and we would be eating dinner together and often asked new workers where they lived when first coming to America. They would say NY and I'd ask where they like the best. They would quickly say here! Meaning the South. They said up North you speak to someone and they would get angry. In the South they said people would speak back friendly.
Yet the South gets put down as being racist.
I swear to you that I sincerely thought that she (Judy Jefferson, The Ma'am Consultant) was talking about the Korean language! Because EVERYTHING that has been said about the South also applies to Koreans! SOUTH Koreans! LOL
See... that's still SOUTHERN of a sort! Welcome brother! *chuckles*
Good manners know no boundaries.
I'm from South Texas. My first job up north, I kept calling my boss ma'am. She said it was rude...I literally had an anxiety attack. I couldn't stop no matter how many times she scolded me. When you receive a switch every time you don't say ma'am in public, it becomes ingrained.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, it makes me feel so embarrassed of being born in the north.
I know. I've got sons, and it's been drummed into them from birth...Yes, sir. Yes, ma'am. Open doors...etc. But every once in awhile, we bump into someone who's visiting from some other place and they used to get confused, when their gesture was returned with open hostility. LOL. I remember Barbara Boxer "dressed down" a soldier during a congressional "whatever" meeting or something because he wouldn't stop calling her ma'am. I tried to explain...we're just not all raised the same, son. But, keep saying it. Keep opening the doors. The people who reject it, well that's on them. Be more afraid of me, if I catch you slipping...LOL.
I am from the south (Texas, living in L.A.) and love your videos. I wish you would address the term "Lady". Many years ago before gender confusion, I called a woman "Lady" and she got offended. I tried to explain to her any female could be a woman but that does not automatically make her a "Lady", and that "Lady" is a term of respect. I was always taught that a "Lady" was a woman of refinement, culture, manners and who was respected and showed respect for others.
I just love this one. I am of a certain age and I live in Africa and I get called "Mama" or "Mother". It's totatly a respect thing.
Any female above toddlerhood is Ma, Mumm/Mummy or Madam. It has nothing to do with age. I was a missionary and was called Mumm in my 20's.
Being from South Cack, I always say ma’am... I’ve even had old ppl tell me not to call them ma’am like I’m sorry but I’m not having my grandma jump out the bush on me with a switch. No MA’AM!
Cackalacky in the house. Where abouts G-Vegas here.
@@jacleesx2022 HOLLLAAAAAA! Thats what I’m Talmbout! G-vegas is not too far from where my grandma live in Hendersonville, NC. I lived in a little swamp town called Gadsden, abt 20 min south of Columbia, right off of 48 in between Hopkins and Eastover. Along the Congaree Swamp/Natl Park. Moved to Seattle in 2013, then to Augusta, GA in 2018.
Miss is for girls and young ladies (and politely addressing a friend's mother by their first name)
Ma'am is for adult women
Mrs is for married women (only when addressed with her husband) and older ladies (married, unmarried or widowed)
OMG! I just had a flashback to the 3rd grade in H-town. Just about what my teacher told us.
What about Ms??
"If it's female and has a pulse, you're legally required to call it ma'am."
Dog: Woof woof!
Me: Sorry, ma'am, what was that?
Hahaha we don't say maam as often as you think we do. And my dad always enforces those ridiculous rules, and I think "what's the use? No one uses it these days." Even in the south, we don't say maam. That's just a rare stereotype about southerners. Only maybe Canadians or people living in the Midwest would say something like that.
@@CoasterMan13Official I'm southern, lol; I just thought it was funny because what she said could technically apply to dogs or other animals. XD
@@syberyah hahahahaha!
@@CoasterMan13Official Begging your pardon Sir but I must disagree...bless your heart.
@@nopms may you have a blessed night.
I had a lady(yankee) tell me " I'm not a ma'am!" I said , "I say yes ma'am to my 9 year old daughter." It's who we are, It's what we do.
I got that alot when I moved to NY and from my supervisor at Publix. Just so happens she met my mom and she complained to my mom that I call her ma'am too much, momma had to explain to her that was a Southern thing and how she raised me. I say ma'am or sir to kids also....it's just how we are lol
I use ma'am and sir with my students. It's basic respect for us.
It is the way...
I'm from Maryland, lived here all my life. I was taught that using "sir" and "ma'am" is required manners when speaking with strangers. But there have been a few times when people have looked at me funny for doing so. I haven't noticed a geographic pattern to it. I know my state isn't southern, which might be why some people get it and some don't? I dunno.
@@charlynwoolley8896 that is for strangers, not friends that are like family. Your kids grow up hearing you call your friends by name. It is acceptable to call them Miss first name or Mr. first name. They could always say Mz. instead of Miss.
Me, a Wisconsinite: *repeatedly gets called ma'am during my shifts, while calling others ma'am/sir as well*
I'm from Southern Oklahoma. Went to Wisconsin. Was in a store there. Told an older lady Yes Ma'am and she started screamin at me!! I couldn't believe it. Was raised with manners and was just being polite! She thought otherwise obviously! Smh 🤣🤣🤣
Also Wisconsinite here. I only use ma'am when I am being snarky or sassy. Rarely have anyone call me ma'am.
Grew up in Wisconsin. Got in trouble in the 4th grade for replying, “Yes, ma’am,” to a substitute teacher. She thought I was being sassy. I was totally confused.
So true! In Junior High, a new student teacher sent me to the principal's office for disrespecting her. I had no idea what I had done, but I went. And kids kept coming in until half the class was in there, all confused. Turns out she was from New England and in her early twenties. Yep, she thought ma'am was an insult. She didn't last to the end of the week.
man im so glad I already knew just from learning that saying ma'am and whatnot are manners in the South even thought i wasn't raised in the South, like if i ever take a trip down there or move down there i know what to expect and less chance of making any kind of screwup like that. I do remember having an old middle school friend who i think might've been a transplant from the South cause she would refer to my mom with 'Miss '
Bless her heart 😆
Why wouldn’t you just use her name? We don’t use ma’am for women whose names we know.
@@ladydontekno I was a 12 year old with social anxiety and it was the 1970's, that's why.
@@ladydontekno in the south, if you’re asked a question by a woman, the answer is yes, ma’am or no, ma’am. If you just answer yes or no you get in trouble. So if we don’t say ma’am when we’re grown we would be disrespecting you. And that is something we are taught to never do. We especially wouldn’t disrespect someone older than us. We’re still afraid of getting in trouble!
So true. I went to high school in WA state for a few years. I said "yes sir" to one of my teachers on one of the first days of school. He call my Moma later that night saying I was being disrespectful and rude in class. She asked him what I did and when he told her I had "yes sir" ...she had a come apart. She told him that despite how he was raised, we are Southern and respect our elders and like it or not he is my elder. If he wanted to call her again to say I was being disrespectful it better because I didn't say "yes sir". Said that he better get to use to be called "sir" as long as her child was in his class. I love my Southern Moma!
I bet he responded with a sheepish "Yes ma'am" to your momma, too!
@@pixietwitch I don't think he did... Liberals don't like to be put in their place by somebody wiser than them... And can you blame them? Even children from the South have more sense than them...
When I was growing up in Virginia if the words "Sir" or "Ma'am" weren't somewhere in the wording of my sentences my father would appear from nowhere and harsh discipline followed.
To translate, as a Seattle native, calling someone "sir" is so out of context, it reads like sarcastic mockery. It would be like saying "yes, your most excellent royal highness" to your math teacher on the first day of school.
I've trained myself out of that reaction, because I've known people who are from all sorts of different traditions, but that's where this disconnect comes from.
@@komisar3937 Same here. Respect is very important to show and earn.
As a happy Southern transplant - this is half humor/half PSA. I was shocked the first time I was at a playground, and saw a toddler ask his mom for something. She replied to him "Yes, Sir." It was then that I caught on that Yes Ma'am/Sir is truly suitable for all ages here (and, many parents model that to teach their littles proper usage : )
My mom has dementia. When I visit, if she doesn’t recognize me, she calls me ma’am. Otherwise, she uses my nickname, but she’s always super polite to everyone. 🥰 So, ma’am away.
I'm sorry about your Mom. My Mom had dementia, too. She did not know my sister or I for 2 years. Her sweet disposition turned ugly. It was rough. Be patient and just keep loving her. God bless.
@@donnakaye2015 thank you, Donna. I know I’m blessed that she has a kind disposition. I have friends who feel like their parent is a different person because their temperament has completely changed. It is very hard to deal with for them and any other caregivers.
@@kdfleming2 It is hard. My Mom was the quietest, sweetest little lady. I hated seeing that smile go. I think dementia & alzheimer's are the hardest things to watch someone go thru. I cannot imagine losing every memory, and everyone you love, without even knowing it. I will be thinking of you.
maybe you can give these a try too? my grandma has been doing better with herbs like sage ( there was a study that in within 2 months i dont know exactly how many weeks) i think about 2 cups of sage tea daily (not too sure on the exact amount, hopefully fresh sage, people healed of alzheimers , also my grandma has had success with kurkuma, fish and (even the tiniest form of exercise) and of course above all prayers.. MAy Jesus heal your mom for His glory and by His power and help your whole family.
Wait, I didn't know that ma'am was an insult in other states. I thought it was only to be polite. True southern here
That, or possibly reserved for a woman much older than you ... From the west coast, moved to the somewhat South as a teen, and I remember calling someone ma'am over the phone. My mom was like "She's not a ma'am" LOL! I was picking up stuff from school that was different than was typical at home and out west. Still not all that comfortable using ma'am, for some reason "yes ma'am" has always sounded kind of sarcastic to me, I don't know why. I just didn't grow up with it.
We had some family friends who moved to Illinois from Texas. The first day in school, one of the daughters said "Yes, ma'am" to her teacher (in her 20's or 30's) and she got in trouble because the teacher thought she was sassing her.
I went to college in southern Indiana and one of my friends (from northern Indiana) was called "ma'am" by a fellow student while working in the library. We'd already had this conversation so she understood what he meant, but she was still weirded out! Lol.
I heard from a girl from Virginia that you never say that, ever, in that state. You would get your butt kicked. Not sure if this is completely true, but I'm avoiding that state because my southern side would slip out no matter what.
A grave insult in some places.
@@ellerj641 Virginia is the state I live in. Ma'am isn't over-used in my area, but it is used. It might depend on the part of the state you're living in. Sometimes I'll use it, but not being a native Virginian or Southerner it just doesn't roll off the tongue naturally. Never offended anyone by using it here, though. Northern VA may be a different story, but IDK
I used to be a cashier at Zaxby's for about a year and I swear just about every customer to ever come through that restaurant (kids included) got the "yes ma'am/ yes sir" treatment from me. I mean, I couldn't just forget my manners, then people would think I wasn't raised right and we can't have that
When women get rudely offended that I held the door for them, you know like I do for any human because I was raised to have manners. Makes my soul ache.
And being a woman I enjoy the door being held for me and the car door I'm so proud when high schoolers do it at Jack's their mammas raised them right respect for others
I love it when young moms are teaching their kids to hold doors. I always thank the little, then I thank the mom also for teaching their kids good manners. Every single one looks so grateful.
Mine too. If you're the first one in, you hold it open for them and their family. THen they usually hold it open for you if there is another afterwards. You also acknowledge it and say thank you. Also, if you see an elderly person coming, you WAIT till they get there and then hold their door open for them and ask them if they need help with anything! To do otherwise... I was taught was rude and unmannerly.
I was also taught when walking with a woman of any age down a sidewalk, the man always stands on the side nearest the road. He always pulls the chair out. He also regularly checks in on his neighbor, especially if their older. When people find issue with this... it makes me question not only what has happened, but what is wrong. It's a way of being neighborly and showing hospitality.
A friend of mine (a male) recently went on a trip to DC...(we're from Florida) went to a restaurant, held the entrance door open for a group of ladies, they hesitated to go in, looked at him like he had 3 heads...They entered, not one thank you...So sad...
@@bossytoes7179 so sad no appreciation for acts of kindness he did his part to be kind
I like how these comments are all joking. Ladies and Gentlemen, these are FACTS of the south. Wonderful instructional series so far!
My father was from the South and in the Military, we grew up that Yes Ma'am and Yes Sir were just good manners. I first found out that not everyone appreciated my good manners when I worked in Washington DC and was trying to be polite to my co-workers in the Office. I only stayed 2 months in that job. No Manners at all in DC.
Clicked on this faster than I could say “yes ma’am”
Honey ok?
so true.....my sister is a northerner and gets all "offended" when I call her ma'am lol
Well then, Stop calling her that then.
I live in the North and I used to get screamed at when I called everyone Ma’am or sir
Lol I guess we have to change how we speak because someone might get offended. So sad... People find any reason to be offended . Not from the South and I don't care I call people sir and ma'am out of respect...
@@jamminhd8250 Why? Its polite and a term of respect?
Why do u ur sister ma'am
I once had a teacher tell me not to call her ma'am. Being a southerner who was taught to ALWAYS use "Yes ma'am/sir", I was completely shocked, confused, and disturbed by this. Thank you for explaining, It's a Southern Thing.
Being born in the south and raised here I love that you are helping those less fortunate to understand our ways
I was on a drill team in Texas and we referred to every teammate as “ma’am” it’s respectful. Even if they were younger than us. If we didn’t say “yes ma’am” or “no ma’am” it was considered disrespectful 😂 now it’s engrained in my dialogue and I call everyone ma’am and it’s so funny to see non southerners get offended by it.
Aaaaahhh another Yoimiya profile pic also from Texas!!
Thank you for this. I grew up in the South when "Yes, Ma'am" and "No, Sir" were deeply ingrained in one's comportment, especially in Elementary School. As I enter my eighth decade, these terms are reflex with folks from the North think I'm jerking them around. Nope. It's a Southern Thang.
I'm 57 and still look around for my dad when someone calls me Mr Blackwell.....and you can bet he's always been "Sir" to me! God bless the South!
Oh hello Mr. Blackwell, good to meet another one.
@@ashenlion805 Likewise, where are you from?
@@tommyblackwell3760 Midlands South Carolina, you?
I’m also 57 and my daddy will always be “daddy”. lol Southern born and southern bred
When I moved down here from the big city of NY, I was mortified when someone called me Ma’am being that I’m a young, married mom! But then I quickly learned it’s a sign of respect and now I love being Ma’am’ed! And I even use “No Sir & No Ma’am when my kids (or pets) are acting up!
I don't know if I ever mortified a northerner/westerner by calling them ma'am but, judging from their rude responses, I've certainly offended a few.
@@Haylla2008 Haha! That’s so funny!😂
I have been called ma'am since i was a teenager (i look older than i actually am) but it has never bothered me. "Sir" and "ma'am" were respectful honorifics for me to use with people i did not know. For me it was common courtesy and simple politeness.
I remember my first ma'am. I just moved south. I was 23. I never felt so old in my entire life. I went home and cried.
LMAO. How old are you now?
@@luscao8444 Twenty years older.
@@royalpitamamma I just turned 20. Would you have an advice for a young boy like me?
@@luscao8444 First establish yourself with a house, business, and other means to support a family. You have all the time in the world to find a wife, but she doesn't have all the time in the world to wait for a husband. Don't date until you are ready to marry and support a family. Women can only have children for a few short years of their lives and it is unfair to make them wait while you establish yourself. Older men find young wives all the time. Wait and find a young wife when you have plenty to offer.
@@royalpitamamma Oh, that all makes sense... advice taken! So kind of you. I really appreciate it! All the best.
It's like a Korean woman getting called "Ahjumma" for the first time.
I always used "agassi" just to be safe.
I've been called "ma'am" since I was a child, so... not quite.
So please educate me. What do "Ahjumma" and "agassi" mean?
@@johnw2026 "Agassi" is the term of address for a young woman who is no longer a student ("haksaeng"), but is probably unmarried. It's usually directed to women in their twenties and early thirties. "Ahjumma" is basically like "Madam," and is used more for women who are married or "appear old enough to probably be married." So, like middle-aged. But the thing is, if you don't actually know the person, you have to decide based on appearance which one you're using. So, if someone used to being called "agassi" gets called "ahjumma" for the first time, it suggests they've "passed a certain age," sort of like how "ma'am" works outside of the South.
@@IzzyKawaiichi ok . Thanks.
Makes me think of the Hispanic language... A señorita is a little girl or unmarried young woman, a señora is married...
Makes me wonder what they call an 80 year old woman who never married.
Omg, thank you. Raised by grandparents from east of the Mississippi and growing up in Cali I always got weird looks for being polite. I've moved to WV now and I feel at home finally.
I just moved back to the South from LA after 6.5 years and it's a relief to be able to call women ma'am and to be ma'amed again! *sigh of relief* :)
That’s so weird ! Lol
Welcome home! Now, go get you a nice tall glass of sweet tea :)
Theres places in California where sir/ma'am is normal I say it all the time to my grocery customers but I'm from Bakersfield.
Supreme Leader is how I want to be addressed
Cool your jets, Pooh Bear... It's the South...
Yes supreme leader long may you rain
Awwww..... bless your heart!
Well..... Bless your heart.
Supreme Leader, when I go to the barbershop to get your haircut, what do I call it? "Gimme da ______, fam."
Judy , I just found you ad on you tube , I'm 62 and that's exactly the way I was taught wen I grew up , I moved to Utah 7 and a 1/2 years ago , they look at you funny around here when you say ma'am or sir especially the ones who move here from California , you teach 'em sweetie , keep up the good work educate 'em good , ok ? By the way I'm sharing you ad for your book to my new Utah friends
Where I’m from if you don’t say ma’am or sir your being rude.
Yes!!
FACTS
I taught my kids to call adults “miss”/ “mr”, when using their first names, too. I grew up in the Midwest, though. It just sounds weird for a 5 year old to be like, “Hi Jim/ Jenny” to an adult, somehow🤷♀️
As a kid I used Mr. or Mrs. unless they insisted otherwise . . . which often lead to even stranger things such as calling them by their full names. The mother of two of childhood friends always wanted me to call her by her first name. I just couldn’t. She was Mrs. Surname. Her husband, who I rarely saw, was first name last name. Not sure how that happened. I don’t think I called him that to his face though, only when referencing him . . . not sure I ever talked to him much growing up and then we moved and I talked to him even less.
Sounds like a wonderful balance imo!
Yep
My parents are both from Ohio. I was taught as a boy to always call adults "Mr." or "Mrs.". Now I'm a middle-aged adult, and I still call those same people "Mr." and "Mrs." It wouldn't seem right to call them by their first names.
I struggled for years with what to call my parents best friends. We grew up with their kids, canoes together, all the birthdays celebrated together, etc.
Every other adult outside of blood kin we were expected to use Mr. and Mrs. But this couple was almost family, but not really, and I avoided calling them by their first names for years and years after growing up. It confused me to no end. I can finally do it, but it still feels very wrong.
Wow! this is a real thing! I'm from Massachusetts and I was always under the impression that "ma'am" was a term of respect. I've even had a woman tell me she wished more men would speak to her with that kind of respect. I was very shocked when a woman I was having a mild argument with escalated the incident to a 10 when I referred to her as "ma'am," I thought the woman was nuts, I guess I'll just stick with "hey lady." when not in the south.
I love this!! It’s so hard trying to explain to non southerners that I’m not intentionally trying to offend them. I’m just showing instilled respect.😊
We show respect too, we just don’t use honorifics.
It's funny, because as a Northerner, the first time I got called "ma'am" up North, I was not happy. I moved to the South three years ago and it doesn't bother me to be called "ma'am" here at all - I actually find it pleasant. But I think that's because I know it's a sign of respect here, whereas it's a herald of "you are now an invisible old" up North.
@@saraht9014 I'm a northerner and everybody uses "mam" and nobody gets offended.
@Gothica ok, well, guess it's different in different parts of the North.
@@saraht9014 Sounds like a shit culture to be in that has a word for "invisible old lady". It's a good thing you left.
"Ma'am" is short for "Madame". But in the South, if you call someone Madame, you just assumed their means of income. So be sure to use your apostrophe.
yes ma’am
😂😂
Lmao this is golden! Great way to explain
Unless she is a prominent member of society like Madame Walker, the famous entrepreneur. In that case, it is a sign of respect for her position in the community.
@@DodiTov she was an exception, and a kick butt woman. I admire her ! She was the First Black woman I read about that created a absolute unfathomable fortune for her time!
This channel should be required viewing for anyone going to the South.
I love watching this channel as a New Englander for cultural exposure. I've never consciously thought that saying "Ma'am" or "Sir" was rude, but now that you mention it, when people do say it (in a Northern cultural context) it has always come across to me as sarcastic or mocking. A lot of comments are talking about how if "Ma'am" or "Sir" AREN'T used, in the South, it's very rude-- but where I'm from, it's impolite to say them (except by visiting Southerners-- then we understand).
I was 16 and working at my first job McDonald's the first time I got called sir. It was from a 5 or 6 year old needing a straw, and it still haunts me to this day.
He wasn’t being meen to you! He was simply trying to show his respect. You were possibly 10 years older than him. The video should explain this.
I was 21. I started to correct the little guy but a concerned look from his dad made me hold my tongue. I thought about it for just a second and recognized my dad teaching me the same when I was the little guy's age. It was basically anyone capable of paying income tax received the honorific
Honestly that sounds pretty cute lol
Awe that must've been so cute 😍 lol bless his heart" I'm sure it was meant well
🤣
It’s all part of why I love it down here in the South and am never, ever leaving - bless your heart!
So true! I work in customer service in Tennessee so saying "ma'am" and "sir" is pure reflex. It's also all in the tone of voice when you address people. Trust me, a southern will still properly address you while they chew your butt out!
I get annoyed when 'customer service' calls me by my first name or 'miss'...miss is what I call my grand daughters (or girlie if I am having a memory fog day).
Talia gives him that grinding smile "I'll move it in a minute", and the dude knows to back off
When I visit my family in Tennessee (I'm from Philly) the Ma'ams and Sirs come out from me like I've been doing it all my life.
I get it.
I bet by doing that, it has kept you from getting a lot of “looks” and remarks like, Yes what ? “Yes ma’am” , that’s better. Haha Have a great day everyone !
Never been offended by "ma'am". I'm a northerner from a military family.
I've heard/been called/used ma'am all my life. Born and raised in MN and now live in SD. there's nothing military about my family and we're not an ounce southern
Just goes to show you how more cultured we are in the South!!😊👍👍
I never saw "Ma'am" as an age thing. It was always something I learned as a term of respect.
I remember three distinct prefixes for women: Miss was for women younger than you who aren't married. Mrs. or Missus was a title of respect for women your age or older, and definitely married or holding a position of authority. The last one is Ms., pronounced "miz". Not miss -- it's miz. That one was for addressing older women if you don't know if they're married or not, they've asked you to call them by their first name (Ms. Dorothy), or if they've just asked you to call them Ms. out of personal preference.
This is true in the north east
This is what I learned growing up in CA, but most people just tended to say Miss, Mrs., or Ms. depending on how they introduced themselves, and Ms. was the default regardless of age
Here's what I was taught, condensed:
Unmarried giris/women: Miss Surname
Married/Widowed: Mrs. Surname
Default if status or age is not known: Ms. Surname
Ma'am is used if answering a question, acknowledging presence, greeting, obedience to orders given and assurance she will be obeyed if in authority.
Ma'am is used at all times unless told otherwise
But what about married women younger than you, or unmarried women older than you? You know I'm German, and it doesn't make sense for me at all. We just call everybody Frau Last Name or just the surname.
We don't have this married or not thing anymore. We did, a long time ago. It was Fräulein for unmarried woman or little girls, but if somebody would ever call me Fräulein I would be seriously mad!! I'm not a child, I'm grown up, so treat me like that.
@@schokoloko2092 Married women are always Mrs. or Missus, unless they prefer to be called Ms. Or Miz. Sorry, I was a bit too specific in my last post.
California raised I am...by a Southener. Not sorry for manners. Growing up, the only adult I was allowed to call by their first names were my parent's best friends Benny & Esselene. If Benny told me to do something, response was Yes, Sir. Esselene is 89 years old and I will say Yes Ma'am to her or introduce her as Mrs. I was with her in Benny's hospital room when a nurse came in and addressed them both by their first names. I gave her a look that Medusa would be proud of. Better believe that was corrected to Mr and or Mrs the next time. I still call my former neighbor Mrs. Thomas. Not Elaine, Mrs. Thomas. It will always be that way. It is a formality that shows respect and it should be observed.
Raised in socal but winter break and summer vacations were spent with family in Tennessee, Louisiana and Quebec. Was working in AZ when they shipped a bunch of hurricane Katrina survivors out. It was hilarious when the Cajuns would come into the store and none of my Hispanic employees could understand their creole. I would have to come up and interpret.
you guys don't know much I love this channel!
I'm Brazilian and I really want to know southern US
Even though Springfield, Missouri is technically in the Midwest, we have a LOT of Southern feel and culture here. I grew up calling all females ma'am regardless of their ages. And we refer to all males as sirs, at least older people do.
I'm not that far away in KCMO and I'm getting ma'am all the time!!! Now my kid is even saying it to me lol! We moved here from PA and NO ONE SAYS MA'AM THERE!!!
Down here in the Bootheel, sugar, and it might as well be Alabama! 🤣
Umm... Springfield Missouri is... well Just like Arkansas... we're the South, not necessarily the midwest, though we're right on that cusp too. Just like you could count Texas as South and A little western. We were south of the mason dixon line and our states cultures have always been that shaped by the true Southern Gentlemen and Ladies. The country folk. The further north you go in Missouri is a little different but still usually the same basic values. I grew up in the Ozark Mountains, whether that was Branson, Omaha, Harrison, or elsewhere. I remember Branson when only a few of the old time entertainers was there. We're definitely Southern.
@@ErickWhite-Gronok Geographically speaking, the state of Missouri is the lower Midwest.
Been there and agree. Missouri is a dual state. Had two Civil War governments one Yankee, one Confederate. However I'd be proud to consider anything along and south of the Missouri River "Little Dixie", the eastern & southern Arkansas /Oklahoma border regions, and along the Mississippi south of St. Louis to be in the South!