Funny thing- when you can finally accept the fact that this person is incapable of truly loving you, that there’s nothing to fight for, that every argument , every defense , every bit of trying to reason, to beg him/ her to have some empathy , is a futile endeavor , it’s much easier to remain silent . Much of the madness we endured was simply a matter of perception. Once we unveil the narcissist and understand it’s nature, the fight is over.
Exactly! You have to accept them for who they are & never expect anything differently before you can move on & no longer suffer pain. It never felt so good to not care about another person. FREEDOM!
So very true your only fighting against hope there is no hope your also helping them to destroy you the most sick thing I encountered in my long term exposure was the reactive abuse how they can twist your emotions and reactions against you to fit their sick twisted narrative their telling everyone behind your back please leave early do not make my mistake please leave early💯❤️🙏🙌
Yes... it's a realization that deflates all the delusions. Not only do you realize you have no relationship, that it's simply a narc-victim situation, you realize you never did have a relationship with the narc... it was all in your head. Not only that, but when you leave and go no contact, the narc won't do or be anything different. You are absolutely wasting your time, energy and effort in continuing the situation. The situation ends, vanishes, if you simply leave and go no contact. 🎉
My lawyer told me that all I had to do was sit still and watch. He said my ex narc would do all of the work for us due to his enormous ego and overt aggression.
Yes indeed. Caught my ex in adultery 4 months after separation (her massive ego allowed her to parade him in public). Her life continues to fall apart Because of the bad decisions she makes.
Hahaha...I love it. That's what I did and he lied in court about the settlement agreement. Cheated...next he refused to obey the settlement agreement. Owed me 2k...for 2 years. Filed contempt of court charges. And asked for 4 more years of maintenance...due to my 2nd attorney pointing out how flawed the settlement agreement was. So for playing games over 2k....the judge pointed out how he knew he was a dishonest man...and forced him to pay me 100k...lol Give them some rope...works...!!!
I think the saddest of all things is the devaluation of sex. As a husband & wife it is such an intimate expression of trust & loyalty. The narcissist, with no empathy, uses sex as a weapon, a tool. So sad to realise that nothing is sacred when you deal with a narcissist. 😢
I told him that everything that he does with me, he does with every female, once given the chance. It's really humiliating to know that your partner is a low hanging fruit. The only time I've seen him ready to participate in sex is after a big fight when he is trying to get back on good terms with me.
In their case sex can also be used because they do have blind spots. Sex for them is regulation of emotions and esteem. But for a neurotypical it would be hell.
I've seen and heard this with narcs over and over; that they do reject accountability, shift the blame! Yes, they actually look for a victim to blame, people who have nothing to do with it even.
I went toe to toe and won. I am an empath so he misjudged me. He thought I would always be docile and let him walk on me. His mistake. I rose up like a Phoenix. He didn’t realize I had much bigger than him on my side. I had God. I stomped on him crushed him and court granted me every penny of his hard earned idol of money..and then some...I exposed who he was to everyone even though he thought I would always stay quiet. He now spends his days angry and crushed while I am free and gained back more than I lost .. most importantly my soul. Don’t ever be scared of taking this evil on if you have the KING OF KINGS!
Oo, tell me more please. I'm a freshly re-minted Christian who's been reading the Bible, and the narcissist I can't get rid of is my father, as in 'Honor your father and mother.' And 'Obey your father and mother.' It's in a number of places, and I can't find any exceptions for when your 'anti-theist' father is an abusive narcissist who hurls blasphemy at you if you even dare to mention God. Not only that, but his info is all wrong, and he's put four people in the TRI-nity--and should know better. AND commits blasphemy against the Holy Spirit--the unforgiveable one! Should I be praying to stomp on and crush my own father? If so, how do you ask for a thing like that? And if NOT, how do you cope with a narcissistic, anti-theist father you're commanded to honor, obey, respect, etc., in SEVERAL places throughout the Bible??? Also, what about loving your neighbor as yourself? Hmm, well, my 'neighbor'--since my father lives next door--taught me to hate myself, so I could easily love him that much. So far, praying for God to unharden his heart isn't working. I'm seriously interested in how to deal with parental narcissists from a Christian perspective.
I am a man and a narc victim for years, and the same thing can easily happen to me that happened to your ex. Trust me it's not god, but the legal system which always favours woman. Narc women are winning court battles every day. Being a man and a nrac victim is what we call a double-whammy.
That's bad advice. When a narcissist attacks, no god will be there to defend you. The best option is always to simply disengage, leave quietly, and never go back.
@@Real2k25 It sure is a matter of time, even though it can take years sometimes! And, if the person dies, many will never know the truth because they didn't witness it. 😥
@@cyndigooch1162 so true seven years and its really out on my childs father.. I've overcome him for he to attack me even harder but God has been with me and my daughter to bring us out of the pits with him..
Yes🎉... When I knew this happened and he was out with friends and met the "new sidekick" ... I asked him what I was out there who he said I was in the "real" world... and said it will be funny to hear it.. and I aint do a shit about it tho.. bc he had just not only exposed himself he also did a selfsmear in the process... It was gold and hilarious to see how he injured himself in what I just said.. used this kind of practice with many of his foul things.. he actually just told on himself.. and took the price in injuries too.. he looked devastated every time he could grasp it.. I Loved and to this day Loves it..🎉😂😂 red.(OOH.. Yes I must say this too.. despite he was clearly devastated and injured by this... HE DENIED HE HAD DONE IT AT ALL..There are some great times with narcissists and that was one really good one...😂😂🎉🎉)
No contact. I will not be controlled by somebody who can barely control himself. When the narcissist finally reveals their true colors, the flying monkeys look for you to vent, don't let them. Your peace is better than being proven right. Thanks Sir Tudor my tutor.
No contact when you live with them? Moving out to California was an impossibility especially if your credit is no good! I got love bombed back here. I feel a fool! Thank you for all your help but I don't believe you're a narcissist. You can't be because you're helping people. Narcissists don't help people.
a narcissist taught me to not let my guard down too quickly, therefore I became much quicker to let go of people who're a constant negative influence on my mental health. if you lose someone, but you win back your independence and peace of mind, you didn't lose someone who should matter to you. life's too short to spend time on trying to please someone who's never going to value you and there's no prize too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. realizing this helped me to see things from a different perspective and stop my attachments to the wrong people.
Everything HG explained is ABSOLUTELY TRUE. Years of experience has taught me these painful lessons. The narcissists I grew up with will expose themselves- and you don't have to do a thing
I grew up with both parents and both siblings to be different variations of narcs. They decided to hang me instead of themselves. I did rage and rant a few times and now I have gone no contact. Honestly I don’t care anymore. I am no contact anyway and it doesn’t bother me that their flying monkeys are both siding the issues or they are busy shaming me behind my back. I am not a narcissist like HG Tudor. He puts it through his prism of narcissism that people might be bothered about what the narc thinks of them. I am me and I decided to tell them exactly what I think of them and called them out in front of each other. I have no trouble with no contact anymore.
To have someone expect standards and principles from you yet has proven not to uphold themselves and then able to justify and rationalize their beliefs makes my head spin
I’ve just recently taken your advice and when you don’t take the bait it works. It is incredibly hard when they try so hard to trigger you but you’re finally able to walk away with your dignity in tact. Must listen to this daily for a bit until it becomes second nature. 🙏🏼
@@happygirl8298 get yourself reprogrammed so you know how to recognize a narcissist and why your attracted to that personality...best thing I ever did for myself after 21 tears of Hell...you can truly be a happy girl
Wow you nailed it that's the reason why i don't talk at all when I'm surrounded by toxic and narcs people i pretend i don't speak English at all when they approach or want to approach shut my mouth off without uttering a word!!!!! People wonder if this handsome, goodlooking, intelligent and attractive dude speak English at all they have no clue I'm trying to protect myself from toxic and delusional people while I'm on the train , bus any where !!!!! Now that I'm free !!!! Nobody have power over you unless you give them !!!!!!
This is always my policy. Give them as much rope as they desire and then walk away after they show their truth. I find it interesting to see what poison comes up out of the dark depths.
You are right, my Mom used to say to two narcissist in my family 'when are you two going to grow up' and that was it. But thanks to HG, I figured them out!!
Ppl act like they care but still getting tea bagged. And he literally committed a major assault against me. Its a tough lonely space to be in when you feel so violated and destroyed and ppl are still giving him the benefit of the doubt.
@@its4yourowngood_yvfw Yep. People tend to give them the benefit of the doubt and continually make excuses for their behaviour, making us look like the bad one.
@@its4yourowngood_yvfw Try not to be too mad at the flunkies...They won't EVER get it unless it happens to them... Normalsl don't get it,its usually empaths and narcs who know what this battle truly is....
I can’t entirely agree. When the stalking begins, get your evidence, take them to court and get a restraining order. If you have a good judge, like mine was, it’ll be “if I see you (narc) in this court room again and it relates to this same matter or same person, you will go to prison.” This totally messed him up. Our, somewhat, exclusive social circle, now knows all about him, his lies and his games; it shamed him into almost utter oblivion. The message?….don’t mess with me, my money or my kids, I will ruin you. Very satisfied with the end result. Edit: mine was a mid-range and was therefore not thinking about the consequences of the behavior; thought I’d qualify that
@@merrywalsh2809 I also like, “better to be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt”😁 Narcissists should take notice of that, once you know what you’re dealing with, and they know you know.
This reminds me of a situation I was in. I was 18 and staying with this ‘’musician guy’’ who’s house was in the middle of nowhere. He got in a huff with me when I said I didn’t want to sleep in the same bed as him (he was using me for sex like a doll), the huff continued until the next day and finally we sat in the kitchen for a conversation where I tried to reason my point of view - to no avail - that I didn’t want to have that kind of relationship. Something in me clicked when he said ‘well it would be alright for me’ and instead of me trying to change his mind, I began to act as if I finally agreed with him even though I didn’t, and I was amazed at how he totally bought into my acting. His huff disappeared as I ‘demonstrated’ I was now under control… from there, I was able to make up an excuse about how I didn’t want to leave now, but my mother needed me home and so somehow I managed to get to the only bus running that day in time. As he dropped me off he mentioned we can ‘pick up where we left off next time’ and he told me to ‘‘just follow your heart’’ and I said yes absolutely… knowing full well that I was following my heart by getting the hell out of there. After I left and he realised I wasn’t replying to his messages, a load of angry dms and emails ensued. I laughed and then blocked him and I was free!!!! Little prick ❤😂😂😂😂
@@Real2k25 allow them to be wrong and let time clarify the situation. I used to have many many friends. One real friend is worth all the frienemies in the world! Carry on👍🏻
This is just what I needed to hear. 3 days ago the guy who lives next door came into my yard while I had a crew of landscapers planting a row of shrubs. He was ranting and raving that these plants were ugly, they were blocking the sun and wind and he just couldn't understand why I wasn't being neighborly. Bear in mind these are only 4 ft. tall narrow shrubs planted 3 ft apart. When I reminded him that his persistent popping up out of the blue in my yard, uninvited and for no good reason wasn't neighborly, he had a complete meltdown. Screaming, name calling, threatening, the whole 9 yards. Since I don't have any plans to sell my home anytime soon, I have been puzzling over how to deal with this guy when I am certain he will continue to be a pest. Well, now I have my answer. Complete dignified silence. Very helpful video. 👍 Edit: I am also buying some pepper spray.
I told my narcissist-you are a horrible man no wonder everybody hates your guts (he HATED that) - I continued - and these are the last words I shall ever speak to you!! ….. and they were - he did actually smash the side vision mirror on my car but small price to pay
No contact for me is about having a peace of mind. Not engaging, no words, no actions only protects. No offense. Finding meaning in life means to find peace. A month no contact with parents. I feel free and happy. Living alone with chronic pain is more peaceful minus narcissistic people.
I agree. The chronic pain was probably a result of trying to deal with the stress of having narcissists in your life, prolonged chronic stress is damaging to the physical body. Stay well.🕊
2 years and 2 months no contact from my whole narcissistic family (apart from 1 brother who was also a scapegoat like myself). It only gets better with time! I live with chronic health problems, but being rid of the bunch of parasitic snakes masquerading as my "family" makes life a whole lot easier. I treasure the peace in my life now.
Narcissism is so fascinating, there are so many intricate details. When I was searching for answers, the web is filled with complete bullshit. I feel so fortunate to have found your work early on. So many inaccuracies out there. Your accuracy is legend. Luckily for us, you are an aware ultra narcissist Keep doing what you do, if victims don’t listen, comprehend or pay attention -that’s on them.
That's exactly what I did, I went completely no contact with my ex-partner even in the face of him lying to the police in an attempt to send me to prison. I didn't respond to anything, literally nothing and he did exactly what you described, he managed to make himself look obsessive, controlling, toxic, angry and unreasonable. It was hard at first because I knew he was saying some truly awful things about me but the no contact worked, people I didn't even know were cutting their friendship off with him because his behaviour became so deranged. It might be difficult for a period of time but I know from personal experience that it works brilliantly so if you're in that situation now hang on and keep going, it's worth the short term stress.
5 sisters, 3 are definite narcissists... I got tired of the BS, and shut 4 of them down 20 years ago. The last one was shut down almost 5 years ago.... And I don’t miss any of them... Wish them well, but as far away from me as possible... 😉
One example of this is when Camille gave Amber some rope her last day on the stand. I was concerned with how Camille was doing her cross exam, she was giving Amber opportunity to say a lot of stuff, rather than just asking only yes & no questions. I was afraid that she'd use the opportunity to manipulate and to give more info to the jury, which did happen, but it also gave Amber the opportunity to show her real self. Something SLIPPED out of Amber, she showed the jury her true self in a more obvious way. This made me glad, because we don't know how much the jury understands psychology. MOST people do not understand behavior & psychology, especially in the US. This one example is when Camille got Amber worked up enough to where she showed her anger, saying that she could've done much more, referring to whether she tipped off TMZ by sending them the video. Her vitriol showed, she couldn't help herself, and if Camille had not allowed her the chance, it wouldn't have happened.
Who would want to take you on clearly hasn't gotten your message. Im here to learn not to take your kind on. To navigate away from your playing field and such behaviors by staying on my playing field 🏈 This example rang true, I was never asked a question, never had to speak but the narcissists was and had exploded twice in court. Thank you HG for lessons learned.
Yes I escaped by becoming a spectator and quitting the participant role. It wasn't easy. I wanted to defend myself etc. But I stood my ground and did finally walk away. It was quite illuminating watching him flail away. But not for long. I was dismissed and despatched. Luckily for me.
Why interrupt an enemy when the enemy is in the process of destroying themselves? Karma Takes them AWAY, just a matter of Time and Space. Hence, "Entropy"
Had a run in with a narc today at the gas station. With his retinue in his car, he deliberately left a pack of water on his roof as he drove away. I yelled at him and he pretended not to hear me, I yelled louder, he continued to pretend not to hear. Then I tapped on his car, and then he exploded. Rolled down his window and screamed at me not to touch his precious car and that he knew the water was on his roof! I immediately knew it was a narc set up.
100% Spot on & the irony of it all is, that U didn't have to expand one iota of energy. They (midrange & lesser) did it all on their own to their own detriment & downfall.
"Give the narcissist enough rope" as in, just let Amber talk and she will eventually screw up all by herself. Like the moment when JD's lawyer led her to believe that she didn't know how cocaine was ingested. AH's reaction is priceless!! Haughty pride thinking she had one up on Vasquez and that she was going to teach her a lesson, and then she proceeds to give the court a masterclass on how to snort coke, and THEN she finally realises she's been trapped and she starts getting flustered. I wonder if Ms Vasquez has been watching HG's videos 😂
In one previous Hoover, the covert narcsissist said I love you, U are my best friend. Then in less than 24 hrs later because I refused to engage in his own destructive guilt & shame, he stated U are abusive I will never talk to you again. When U simply get on with ur own life healing ur own inner trauma. Their crazy making doesn't affect U any longer & U don't feel anger, pain, anxiety and or confusion anymore. U just simply understand that they are a narcissist & U have no emotional attachment to it.
Mines wasn’t even 24hrs it was the same day…earlier in the day he was trying to get my attention and go to the music store (bcuz I like to go) to later I’ll kill you and I want you out of my life to you know I would hurt you” all bcuz I wasn’t responding
Absolutely spot on, remain an observer and just watch them fall onto their own sword. How can you fault information from the horses mouth or in this case HG Tudor-well done.
HG I have had strictly No Contact for 2 yrs He has hoovered me a few times but I have ignored every time and the most recent on a birthday card through the post saying we need to talk I’m going through a divorce now and I just hope you have taught me well He is an evil maggot even to my children I have completely ignored and had No contact Thank you HG x
Hi teresa, i got a hoover after 7 months, (feb this year) i admit i replied as i was at the early stages of my healing...i was nice gave him no hatred az i knew thats what he wanted hatred, it was all lies, projection,poor victim, gasliggting etc. Saying he,s still single lol .what i did do was send to his auntie,so they could see what he,d said and that he was f€£king with my head,not had nothing since thank god..do they second hoover ?? 😨🤢🤢🤢 i have had no contact only that 1 hoover since last june a year now x
@@cazz3031 It's me again and I want to mention on this one that it depends on the person! I've learnt that some hoover a lot and some every now and again and some after many years of no contact, which happened to me. He was married and only wanted sex though. He got very angry when I wouldn't let him come to my home, so it was obvious what was going on. On the other hand, some of them never hoover, especially if they're good-looking and charismatic and find it easy to get new fuel. My last highly narcissistic ex gets plenty from going to AA and NA meetings, Al-Anon and churches, because there's so many vulnerable people there. They hang onto every word not knowing that the person is a dangerous predator, who hates women. ❤
If I be truly honest I am sure he has only hoovered to manipulate the divorce amongst other selfish needs and lies I have to stay constantly strong for my children and my future I just prey my Divorce is what I deserve x
Around, or, I’m scared to say, maybe even more than 80 percent of my close circle, including family and friends, is a cocktail of B cluster personalities and not one of them is self aware. I find it hard to believe a narcissist can achieve such a level of introspection. But, it seems genuinely so in the case of H G, and thus I take my hat off.
I can’t even explain how badly I’ve wanted to have my say at times, I just know that the less fuel for the fire, the faster it burns out. Thanks to your videos I got out and I’ve stayed out - no contact, no interaction, no existence (you used these words to illustrate the narcissist’s ability to compartmentalise, I also like them as an addition to GOSO). It’s the only way.
I was caught in the middle of 2 narcs at work. They tried to pull me apart. #1 didn't want me to have a work place relationship with #2. #2 hated everything #1 said or did. I was desperate for relief. When the Human Resource Director was made aware of the situation she in turn expected me to help her figure it out. My response was to leave me out of it, deal with the 2 of them, the office had no problems with me! This went on for over 10 years. Finally #2 managed to have #1 terminated and #1 laid all the blame on me saying I should have helped her. At that point I completely cut #2 off only spoke when nessacary. 3 months later, you guessed it, I was terminated because I was making #2 unhappy. So yes #2 thought she had won, but she still was not happy. She went on a office wide bulling campaign. By then HR realized she had made a big mistake, was going to terminate #2, instead #2 resigned beforehand to save herself the insult she had caused for me. Heard she was threatening suicide, she is currently driving husband #2 crazy. She needs another victim.
I’ve been saying this for ages. The best way is to not give fuel or attention. The RF are clearly getting good advice on how to handle this situation. People shouting for removal of titles and line of succession don’t see what effect this will have.
Various downsides ... the master of understatement as always! The facade management will ALWAYS crack under pressure. The problem is that while this is satisfying to an empath who wants to be proven to be right, you must be ready for a conserted smear campaign amongst mutual friends. This can be very distressing for empaths so be aware you must go no contact with these people as the narcissist WILL be recruiting those lieutenants..
Accurate! This is currently happening in my life right now. I received tons of threats that the narc will smear me. I did not react one bit or get defensive. Just saved the messages for evidence.
Kyla Ren I totally agree with you and even wrote a comment on another video about whether narcissism is a mental illness or a personality disorder that they could say the same about people at the other end of the spectrum! And it's not easy at all for those individuals, including me, to change unhealthy behaviours, such as learning to have strong boundaries etc and to curb the damn emotional thinking, which you mentioned. ❤
@@cyndigooch1162 What helped and continues to help me is knowing that I can't subject myself to anything or anyone that continually destroys my mental and physical health. My health took a toll for years and I won't ever allow that again. Keep working on solid boundaries because your life depends on it. 💕
MeAgain is nothing more than a yapping, stumbling fool in heels. The Queen appears to some as if she's not doing anything. However, the Queen is in control, maintaining her dignity and showing class. The two things MeAgain will never have.
I can vouch for this. His job, his family, his ex, all sees him as very disturbed. The job is trying to freeze him out by paying him the smallest salary in the office but he sticks to it. God I feel for them having him there 5 days a week with his extreme negativity and self pitying. One year today I have been free of him and I feel great! Noone sulking in my couch, no negativity. Da da da da daaa - Im lovin' it! ❤️
Bingo that's exactly what happened with my situation do you guys here this ,this is it I'm soooo happy thank you H.G I love you man. EXCELLENT WORK!!!!
Understanding Narcissism, you realize 1) Remove yourself from the battlefield 2) If you have to be on the battlefield, dont battle but know how to not battle ! Good stuff Mister T.
Omg yes. I was so in love with him. He had me so fooled and by the time I figured it out, I felt so stupid and I wanted revenge, at first. I let him destroy everything good I had worked so hard for. But I didn't because I knew much of this. And now he's burning all his bridges and more and more people are seeing right through him. My "truth seeking" trait drove me crazy wanting to tell people, but I'm so glad I just kept myself out of it. Most people can see what he's doing now and it's icky and I haven't said a word, he's literally blowing up his own life and he can't blame any of it on me. Woohoo! Side note: I love the terminology changes you've made. They're more accurate and helpful to us "appliances".
I've toasted several. Narcissists are no match for actual warriors. By the time the biggest ones have declared war for me, they weren't even aware of it. I however said "this is a declaration of war". Their ego makes them very emotional, paranoid, Etc so that they can't go to real war with anyone who is strategic. You're watching the Rope wind around there necks on their way to you. They tire every time until they lose and go out in a costly blaze of humiliation. However intelligent, their ego and their emotions make them stupid in my opinion and experience
I could give 2 f#$#s about talking, texting seeing, smelling my ex narc. I have heard you tell us over and over it is pointless, even ridiculous to even try. Got to be honest the addiction is still there, its a battle for sure. But, by logical thinking Im going to win. Your my weapon, Mr Tudor💯
My daughter's husband went behind her back and smeared her to the pastor and she said nothing. Eventually, the pastor, by way of a public apology, got up and said, "Sometimes when someone tells you that their wife has done wrong, you eventually see that it was the husband who was 90% the guilty party". Or words to that effect. The minister's name was Pew, which I always thought was a particularly appropriate name for a preacher. This was back in the 80's in Wichita, Kansas. My daughter never opened her mouth and complained about her husband's abuse. She should have told others though. By being silent, you ENABLE the abuser!
Realizing that we cannot control other's behavior, only our own, is powerful. Knowing this INFO is very, very different from truly understanding it. We waste time on other's behavior when we need to focus on our self. To truly know our inner self and decide on what our personal compass is, is something we all should've started doing beginning at about the age of 4, before we began school. But western culture has forgotten the importance of knowing ourselves, we've forgotten how. Real, true yoga helps us to do this, but I'm NOT referring to American yoga which is a big farce, I'm talking about real Yoga, like what Sadhguru teaches. When we don't know how to do something, it's important to take instruction from people like HG Tudor, and Sadhguru.
I did the exact opposite! I couldn’t resist going after him by shouting what he is from the rooftop. Targeting a couple of his exes. Now I am just waiting for him to do something devious to me as a result! Oh well, too late now! I’ll just keeping looking over my shoulder, lol.
Girl don’t be scared!! Laugh out loud hell and most of the time they send threats to get control but won’t do anything they just want reaction so be free! I did the same mines feel exposed and like his back is against the wall so he has totally been avoiding me and demonizing me into the worst person in his head hahaha
I'm a super empath HG is write the best way is no contact just take control of your own life back it's not dealing with the narc only have the control that we allow them to have
I HAVE AN "ULTRA NARC"; MY MOTHER. SHE IS CONNECTED IN EVERY WAY. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH THE DWARF SQUAD AND THE RELATIVELY INCONSPICUOUS ILL-REPUTED COMPANY SHE KEEPS TO FIGHT IT. TALK ABOUT NASTY!! THIS IS THE WORST; IT IS, LIKE I SAID, BEING MADE "IMPOSSIBLE." BUT THIS IS THE GOOD PART; IT'S NOT "ME" DOING IT, IT'S HER AND HER COHORTS, SO IN ACTUALLY I'M DOING IT ALL ALONE AND THEY HAVE ENTIRE REALM OF PEOPLE; IT'S ENDLESS. AFTER ALL, THEY "ARE THE LAW." I KNOW. :) THANK TUDOR. YOU HAVE BEEN MUCH THAN BENEFICIAL.
I feel like I’ve discovered a treasure by finding your much appreciated knowledge and all the work you do on this topic… it explains a lot… Thank You 🙏🏻 for existing
7 years of Freedom now thanks to the guidance of HG. Revisiting these second to none teachings due to work. I can't begin to describe how valuable it is to be able to listen to these and apply the knowledge again. And for me personally a comfort. Why a comfort? Because everything said is spot on and because I absolutely know these weapons work. I was on a very long journey of pain and doubt and everything inbetween. I made it away from all that. Having the coaching from HG is so important because emotional thinking creeps in out of the blue when you least expect it, especially with new unexpected encounters in places you can't avoid being such as work. HG stops all that emotionality, if you follow his advice. When you are new to this you are incredulous and can be doubtful, but honestly take it from a survivor, this guidance is instrumental. HG is always with me, the unseen knight in the shadows, as I am never forgetting the things he taught me. I am grateful.🌹
Thank you sir, for the extraordinary public service and gift to humanity that you are providing via these podcasts. Tons of videos out there on the same topic, some better than others. Yet, for all this content, many videos don't actually get to the point of WHAT to do and WHY. Your succinct advice is fucking surgical in it's precision and simply some of the BEST content I've ever come across. Subscribed, with thanks from a Canadian fan.
I pretend things bother me that don't because he'll go after that instead of the real stuff I keep private. He manipulates within the moment and exploits according to my reactions. I throw the game back at him.
anybody can be brought down. anybody can be. even all narcissists. never let them fool you into thinking that they can control or have any sort of power over you or your life,or that they have any power over you or that they have any control over you or over your life because they are just fooling themselves.
I wonder if I am a type of narcissist myself, because I like to talk and talk too, but as far as I know, my motives for this is because I am emitionally needy, and I like to generate conversstion, or get into lengthy explainations. That's it. But I dont think that could be categorized as anything other than that. Plus, I guess I am a writer, I love writing, especially letters and comments!
Great video HG, thankyou for this most helpful guidance. I feel reassured to continue, " Giving the narcissist enough rope." Grateful that you covered this aspect,HG.
Control over ? Something they had no hand in creating? It just portrays them as ignorant and oblivious. It shows weakness. To want power and control or to even state they are above anyone only shows the complete opposite. How can one hold the image and believe themselves to be entitled or a hero of sorts, when they hold zero accountability, responsibility and or any factual evidence that they are accomplished? People only see that as ludicrous and insane. Why don't they see that?
They do show their true colours! My Narc mother engaged in a huge smear campaign probably handed out flyers too. When someone asks how my mother is doing, I simply say she is doing very well, thanks for asking. And…she actually is doing well getting all of her needs met …just not by me.
I manage to send him to jail .sometimes you gonna fight ,he running from me now.Proud of me too.you can defeat them by calculate strategy.it was worth it 💕.Cc
My wrath. I don’t remember, just the stealing and lying. That’s all I remember, constant drama. But I learned, didn’t know it wa my fault because it already existed before I showed up.
I’ve been listening to videos and reading books and listening to psychologists for 12 years on this subject and I find this video to be one of the most important and I’ve heard.
I'm in a position of power right now having been no contact for 6 months with the "Angel with a Dirty Face" Narc. I can utterly destroy her by exposing her to her friends and family on a charity drive that she seems to be so "enthusiastic" about on an online forum. I don't know what she is getting out of it, but she seems to be hovering around my colleagues asking them about my business but not directly myself while creating the fake facade of the "working on this charity, please donate". I was almost contemplating getting revenge (as she's messaged 19 people close to me - all of them have blocked her now) but I realized it is high emotional thinking, but I also understand that I have some Narcissistic traits myself that I am working on. Cue your video, I have calmed down and laughed at the situation, she's trying to get my attention because I went no contact after the discard and wants to see my business fail at the same time. It's kind of hilarious to be quite honest, so many months later and she is still angry about the control dynamic that I kicked her out of class and that I didn't react to her smear campaign. I'll lend her some rope so she can keep pining to know more things about me as life progresses.
Your subscribers keep increasing! Not sure if this is good or bad? 🙈 so many dealing with narcissistic people or people finally seeing you are the only one that keeps spilling the truth. I am going with the latter. 🤪 as I am sure you are as well 😂😂😂
Time will tell our stories. You can only hold up a mask but for so long, before your arms get tiried and the mask begins to slip and others will see what wasn't said and your side of the story will be told.
I am fascinated by you. I learn from you and you help me understand. I instinctively "knew" elements of Narcissism because I had a mother, sister and husband who were one. You are the only voice that fills the blanks and illuminates how dangerous you are. I am reminded of the film Alien when the AI describes the Alien as impressive and pure. It also suggests there is aa simplicity of motive. Knowledge is power. Thank you.
Funny thing- when you can finally accept the fact that this person is incapable of truly loving you, that there’s nothing to fight for, that every argument , every defense , every bit of trying to reason, to beg him/ her to have some empathy , is a futile endeavor , it’s much easier to remain silent . Much of the madness we endured was simply a matter of perception. Once we unveil the narcissist and understand it’s nature, the fight is over.
Exactly! You have to accept them for who they are & never expect anything differently before you can move on & no longer suffer pain. It never felt so good to not care about another person. FREEDOM!
So very true your only fighting against hope there is no hope your also helping them to destroy you the most sick thing I encountered in my long term exposure was the reactive abuse how they can twist your emotions and reactions against you to fit their sick twisted narrative their telling everyone behind your back please leave early do not make my mistake please leave early💯❤️🙏🙌
Yes... it's a realization that deflates all the delusions. Not only do you realize you have no relationship, that it's simply a narc-victim situation, you realize you never did have a relationship with the narc... it was all in your head. Not only that, but when you leave and go no contact, the narc won't do or be anything different. You are absolutely wasting your time, energy and effort in continuing the situation. The situation ends, vanishes, if you simply leave and go no contact. 🎉
They are not people. We can’t treat them like people
YES EXACTLY
My lawyer told me that all I had to do was sit still and watch. He said my ex narc would do all of the work for us due to his enormous ego and overt aggression.
Agree!!!
Yes indeed. Caught my ex in adultery 4 months after separation (her massive ego allowed her to parade him in public). Her life continues to fall apart Because of the bad decisions she makes.
Hahaha...I love it. That's what I did and he lied in court about the settlement agreement. Cheated...next he refused to obey the settlement agreement. Owed me 2k...for 2 years. Filed contempt of court charges. And asked for 4 more years of maintenance...due to my 2nd attorney pointing out how flawed the settlement agreement was. So for playing games over 2k....the judge pointed out how he knew he was a dishonest man...and forced him to pay me 100k...lol
Give them some rope...works...!!!
You had a good lawyer. Wish I had.
I found this to be true. The entitlement and aggressive attitude did not play out well in front of the judge.
I think the saddest of all things is the devaluation of sex. As a husband & wife it is such an intimate expression of trust & loyalty. The narcissist, with no empathy, uses sex as a weapon, a tool.
So sad to realise that nothing is sacred when you deal with a narcissist. 😢
I told him that everything that he does with me, he does with every female, once given the chance. It's really humiliating to know that your partner is a low hanging fruit. The only time I've seen him ready to participate in sex is after a big fight when he is trying to get back on good terms with me.
You know they are no longer yours when they cut you off
In their case sex can also be used because they do have blind spots. Sex for them is regulation of emotions and esteem. But for a neurotypical it would be hell.
I've seen and heard this with narcs over and over; that they do reject accountability, shift the blame!
Yes, they actually look for a victim to blame, people who have nothing to do with it even.
I went toe to toe and won. I am an empath so he misjudged me. He thought I would always be docile and let him walk on me. His mistake. I rose up like a Phoenix. He didn’t realize I had much bigger than him on my side. I had God. I stomped on him crushed him and court granted me every penny of his hard earned idol of money..and then some...I exposed who he was to everyone even though he thought I would always stay quiet. He now spends his days angry and crushed while I am free and gained back more than I lost .. most importantly my soul. Don’t ever be scared of taking this evil on if you have the KING OF KINGS!
Oo, tell me more please. I'm a freshly re-minted Christian who's been reading the Bible, and the narcissist I can't get rid of is my father, as in 'Honor your father and mother.' And 'Obey your father and mother.' It's in a number of places, and I can't find any exceptions for when your 'anti-theist' father is an abusive narcissist who hurls blasphemy at you if you even dare to mention God. Not only that, but his info is all wrong, and he's put four people in the TRI-nity--and should know better. AND commits blasphemy against the Holy Spirit--the unforgiveable one! Should I be praying to stomp on and crush my own father? If so, how do you ask for a thing like that? And if NOT, how do you cope with a narcissistic, anti-theist father you're commanded to honor, obey, respect, etc., in SEVERAL places throughout the Bible??? Also, what about loving your neighbor as yourself? Hmm, well, my 'neighbor'--since my father lives next door--taught me to hate myself, so I could easily love him that much. So far, praying for God to unharden his heart isn't working. I'm seriously interested in how to deal with parental narcissists from a Christian perspective.
I am a man and a narc victim for years, and the same thing can easily happen to me that happened to your ex. Trust me it's not god, but the legal system which always favours woman. Narc women are winning court battles every day. Being a man and a nrac victim is what we call a double-whammy.
?
That's bad advice. When a narcissist attacks, no god will be there to defend you. The best option is always to simply disengage, leave quietly, and never go back.
Jen how did you exposed him? It's the only thing he is afraid of but he learn about lawsuits so I gotta be careful!
They really do eventually show their real colors.
However, they do a lot of damage before that eventually happens!
Yup only a matter of time
@@Real2k25 It sure is a matter of time, even though it can take years sometimes! And, if the person dies, many will never know the truth because they didn't witness it. 😥
@@cyndigooch1162 so true seven years and its really out on my childs father.. I've overcome him for he to attack me even harder but God has been with me and my daughter to bring us out of the pits with him..
@@brittanyjulien252 0
Yes🎉... When I knew this happened and he was out with friends and met the "new sidekick" ... I asked him what I was out there who he said I was in the "real" world... and said it will be funny to hear it.. and I aint do a shit about it tho.. bc he had just not only exposed himself he also did a selfsmear in the process... It was gold and hilarious to see how he injured himself in what I just said.. used this kind of practice with many of his foul things.. he actually just told on himself.. and took the price in injuries too.. he looked devastated every time he could grasp it.. I Loved and to this day Loves it..🎉😂😂 red.(OOH.. Yes I must say this too.. despite he was clearly devastated and injured by this... HE DENIED HE HAD DONE IT AT ALL..There are some great times with narcissists and that was one really good one...😂😂🎉🎉)
No contact. I will not be controlled by somebody who can barely control himself. When the narcissist finally reveals their true colors, the flying monkeys look for you to vent, don't let them. Your peace is better than being proven right. Thanks Sir Tudor my tutor.
No contact when you live with them? Moving out to California was an impossibility especially if your credit is no good! I got love bombed back here. I feel a fool! Thank you for all your help but I don't believe you're a narcissist. You can't be because you're helping people. Narcissists don't help people.
Brava! How eloquently stated!
They most certainly do,and for me the answer is no,go away....
@@petraselah7152 That's not really true,if THEY BENEFIT from it,they will do it...
@@petraselah7152 That's not really true,if THEY BENEFIT from it,they will do it...
a narcissist taught me to not let my guard down too quickly, therefore I became much quicker to let go of people who're a constant negative influence on my mental health. if you lose someone, but you win back your independence and peace of mind, you didn't lose someone who should matter to you. life's too short to spend time on trying to please someone who's never going to value you and there's no prize too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. realizing this helped me to see things from a different perspective and stop my attachments to the wrong people.
Everything HG explained is ABSOLUTELY TRUE. Years of experience has taught me these painful lessons.
The narcissists I grew up with will expose themselves- and you don't have to do a thing
I grew up with both parents and both siblings to be different variations of narcs. They decided to hang me instead of themselves. I did rage and rant a few times and now I have gone no contact. Honestly I don’t care anymore. I am no contact anyway and it doesn’t bother me that their flying monkeys are both siding the issues or they are busy shaming me behind my back. I am not a narcissist like HG Tudor. He puts it through his prism of narcissism that people might be bothered about what the narc thinks of them. I am me and I decided to tell them exactly what I think of them and called them out in front of each other. I have no trouble with no contact anymore.
To have someone expect standards and principles from you yet has proven not to uphold themselves and then able to justify and rationalize their beliefs makes my head spin
I’ve just recently taken your advice and when you don’t take the bait it works. It is incredibly hard when they try so hard to trigger you but you’re finally able to walk away with your dignity in tact. Must listen to this daily for a bit until it becomes second nature. 🙏🏼
I’m so happy for you. I was married to a narcissist for 14 years and even though it’s been 12 years since the divorce, I’m still recovering.
@@happygirl8298 get yourself reprogrammed so you know how to recognize a narcissist and why your attracted to that personality...best thing I ever did for myself after 21 tears of Hell...you can truly be a happy girl
Yep! Same here. I was patient and ultimately he imploded.
Im loving staying silent...i do nothing !!!! And it will stay that way 😁😁😁😁🤛
Cazz It's a huge relief not to have to say or do anything, but I still make mistakes sometimes. 🙁
Wow you nailed it that's the reason why i don't talk at all when I'm surrounded by toxic and narcs people i pretend i don't speak English at all when they approach or want to approach shut my mouth off without uttering a word!!!!! People wonder if this handsome, goodlooking, intelligent and attractive dude speak English at all they have no clue I'm trying to protect myself from toxic and delusional people while I'm on the train , bus any where !!!!! Now that I'm free !!!! Nobody have power over you unless you give them !!!!!!
This is always my policy. Give them as much rope as they desire and then walk away after they show their truth. I find it interesting to see what poison comes up out of the dark depths.
I exposed the narcissist and nobody cares. It just makes you look dumb. Don't. Just get your life in order. And enjoy them watching.
You are right, my Mom used to say to two narcissist in my family 'when are you two going to grow up' and that was it. But thanks to HG, I figured them out!!
Ppl act like they care but still getting tea bagged. And he literally committed a major assault against me. Its a tough lonely space to be in when you feel so violated and destroyed and ppl are still giving him the benefit of the doubt.
@@its4yourowngood_yvfw Yep. People tend to give them the benefit of the doubt and continually make excuses for their behaviour, making us look like the bad one.
@@its4yourowngood_yvfw Try not to be too mad at the flunkies...They won't EVER get it unless it happens to them...
Normalsl don't get it,its usually empaths and narcs who know what this battle truly is....
Yup. They are painted white.
I can’t entirely agree. When the stalking begins, get your evidence, take them to court and get a restraining order. If you have a good judge, like mine was, it’ll be “if I see you (narc) in this court room again and it relates to this same matter or same person, you will go to prison.” This totally messed him up. Our, somewhat, exclusive social circle, now knows all about him, his lies and his games; it shamed him into almost utter oblivion. The message?….don’t mess with me, my money or my kids, I will ruin you. Very satisfied with the end result.
Edit: mine was a mid-range and was therefore not thinking about the consequences of the behavior; thought I’d qualify that
Very true. They’ve never taken heed of “A closed mouth, gathers no feet”.
Get Out, Stay Out is the very best of advice.
Excluding the silent treatment of course, but that just exposes what they are too🤣
I like the Spanish phrase “en boca cerrada, no entran moscas.” Translation: “in a closed mouth, flies do not enter.” 😋
Thank you Warren
@@merrywalsh2809 I also like, “better to be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt”😁
Narcissists should take notice of that, once you know what you’re dealing with, and they know you know.
Very well put sir...thank you.
This reminds me of a situation I was in. I was 18 and staying with this ‘’musician guy’’ who’s house was in the middle of nowhere. He got in a huff with me when I said I didn’t want to sleep in the same bed as him (he was using me for sex like a doll), the huff continued until the next day and finally we sat in the kitchen for a conversation where I tried to reason my point of view - to no avail - that I didn’t want to have that kind of relationship. Something in me clicked when he said ‘well it would be alright for me’ and instead of me trying to change his mind, I began to act as if I finally agreed with him even though I didn’t, and I was amazed at how he totally bought into my acting. His huff disappeared as I ‘demonstrated’ I was now under control… from there, I was able to make up an excuse about how I didn’t want to leave now, but my mother needed me home and so somehow I managed to get to the only bus running that day in time. As he dropped me off he mentioned we can ‘pick up where we left off next time’ and he told me to ‘‘just follow your heart’’ and I said yes absolutely… knowing full well that I was following my heart by getting the hell out of there. After I left and he realised I wasn’t replying to his messages, a load of angry dms and emails ensued. I laughed and then blocked him and I was free!!!! Little prick ❤😂😂😂😂
I like this idea of turning the other cheek. The people who are close to you, who really know you, will get what is going on. No words will be needed.
My cousins sided with the narcissist
@@Real2k25 You know the truth. That's all that matters.
@@Real2k25 allow them to be wrong and let time clarify the situation. I used to have many many friends. One real friend is worth all the frienemies in the world! Carry on👍🏻
@Lou S I love that!! So, hard to maintain your frame and higher self in dealing with narc’s. God Bless🙏
I LIKE your comment, but don't want to ruin the 69 likes. Pozdro
This is just what I needed to hear. 3 days ago the guy who lives next door came into my yard while I had a crew of landscapers planting a row of shrubs. He was ranting and raving that these plants were ugly, they were blocking the sun and wind and he just couldn't understand why I wasn't being neighborly. Bear in mind these are only 4 ft. tall narrow shrubs planted 3 ft apart. When I reminded him that his persistent popping up out of the blue in my yard, uninvited and for no good reason wasn't neighborly, he had a complete meltdown. Screaming, name calling, threatening, the whole 9 yards.
Since I don't have any plans to sell my home anytime soon, I have been puzzling over how to deal with this guy when I am certain he will continue to be a pest. Well, now I have my answer. Complete dignified silence. Very helpful video. 👍
Edit: I am also buying some pepper spray.
I told my narcissist-you are a horrible man no wonder everybody hates your guts (he HATED that) - I continued - and these are the last words I shall ever speak to you!! ….. and they were - he did actually smash the side vision mirror on my car but small price to pay
No contact for me is about having a peace of mind. Not engaging, no words, no actions only protects. No offense. Finding meaning in life means to find peace. A month no contact with parents. I feel free and happy. Living alone with chronic pain is more peaceful minus narcissistic people.
I have chronic pain in my pelvic area. My parents are narssistic and my sister.
I agree. The chronic pain was probably a result of trying to deal with the stress of having narcissists in your life, prolonged chronic stress is damaging to the physical body. Stay well.🕊
Living with and managing pain is definitely more peaceful than dealing with a pain in the a💤.
Narcs help us to so appreciate peace.Peacefulness becomes something so much more enjoyable once you go no contact...
2 years and 2 months no contact from my whole narcissistic family (apart from 1 brother who was also a scapegoat like myself). It only gets better with time! I live with chronic health problems, but being rid of the bunch of parasitic snakes masquerading as my "family" makes life a whole lot easier. I treasure the peace in my life now.
Narcissism is so fascinating, there are so many intricate details.
When I was searching for answers, the web is filled with complete bullshit.
I feel so fortunate to have found your work early on.
So many inaccuracies out there.
Your accuracy is legend.
Luckily for us, you are an aware ultra narcissist
Keep doing what you do, if victims don’t listen, comprehend or pay attention -that’s on them.
That's exactly what I did, I went completely no contact with my ex-partner even in the face of him lying to the police in an attempt to send me to prison. I didn't respond to anything, literally nothing and he did exactly what you described, he managed to make himself look obsessive, controlling, toxic, angry and unreasonable. It was hard at first because I knew he was saying some truly awful things about me but the no contact worked, people I didn't even know were cutting their friendship off with him because his behaviour became so deranged. It might be difficult for a period of time but I know from personal experience that it works brilliantly so if you're in that situation now hang on and keep going, it's worth the short term stress.
5 sisters, 3 are definite narcissists... I got tired of the BS, and shut 4 of them down 20 years ago.
The last one was shut down almost 5 years ago....
And I don’t miss any of them...
Wish them well, but as far away from me as possible... 😉
I know thats right...good for u!
One example of this is when Camille gave Amber some rope her last day on the stand. I was concerned with how Camille was doing her cross exam, she was giving Amber opportunity to say a lot of stuff, rather than just asking only yes & no questions. I was afraid that she'd use the opportunity to manipulate and to give more info to the jury, which did happen, but it also gave Amber the opportunity to show her real self. Something SLIPPED out of Amber, she showed the jury her true self in a more obvious way.
This made me glad, because we don't know how much the jury understands psychology. MOST people do not understand behavior & psychology, especially in the US.
This one example is when Camille got Amber worked up enough to where she showed her anger, saying that she could've done much more, referring to whether she tipped off TMZ by sending them the video. Her vitriol showed, she couldn't help herself, and if Camille had not allowed her the chance, it wouldn't have happened.
Who would want to take you on clearly hasn't gotten your message. Im here to learn not to take your kind on. To navigate away from your playing field and such behaviors by staying on my playing field 🏈 This example rang true, I was never asked a question, never had to speak but the narcissists was and had exploded twice in court. Thank you HG for lessons learned.
Logic, good to read.
@@hgtudor-theultra Hello..Wondering if you have any information on narcs who live a polyamorous lifestyle...A narcs heaven or hell?
Thankyou HG. ❤️🌻
It’s hard to get out of the way and let natural consequences happen when you care about a person. Doing the right things are sometimes really hard.
Yes I escaped by becoming a spectator and quitting the participant role. It wasn't easy. I wanted to defend myself etc. But I stood my ground and did finally walk away. It was quite illuminating watching him flail away. But not for long. I was dismissed and despatched. Luckily for me.
My problem is my family is filled with doormats, and flying monkeys, and no one can see the Reality of the Machiavellian narcissist.
Mine is the same. Walked away from them all
Why interrupt an enemy when the enemy is in the process of destroying themselves?
Karma Takes them AWAY, just a matter of Time and Space.
Hence, "Entropy"
"Googles" ""entropy""
Had a run in with a narc today at the gas station. With his retinue in his car, he deliberately left a pack of water on his roof as he drove away. I yelled at him and he pretended not to hear me, I yelled louder, he continued to pretend not to hear. Then I tapped on his car, and then he exploded. Rolled down his window and screamed at me not to touch his precious car and that he knew the water was on his roof! I immediately knew it was a narc set up.
3rd time discarded. I get tired of stupid games .
I do not enjoy this anymore 😕
Final discard from me .
No contact implemented
HG I have been surrounded by narcissists my whole life and this video has been very helpful for me ❤ Sarah from Toronto Canada
Good.
100% Spot on & the irony of it all is, that U didn't have to expand one iota of energy. They (midrange & lesser) did it all on their own to their own detriment & downfall.
"Give the narcissist enough rope" as in, just let Amber talk and she will eventually screw up all by herself.
Like the moment when JD's lawyer led her to believe that she didn't know how cocaine was ingested. AH's reaction is priceless!! Haughty pride thinking she had one up on Vasquez and that she was going to teach her a lesson, and then she proceeds to give the court a masterclass on how to snort coke, and THEN she finally realises she's been trapped and she starts getting flustered.
I wonder if Ms Vasquez has been watching HG's videos 😂
In one previous Hoover, the covert narcsissist said I love you, U are my best friend. Then in less than 24 hrs later because I refused to engage in his own destructive guilt & shame, he stated U are abusive I will never talk to you again. When U simply get on with ur own life healing ur own inner trauma. Their crazy making doesn't affect U any longer & U don't feel anger, pain, anxiety and or confusion anymore. U just simply understand that they are a narcissist & U have no emotional attachment to it.
Mines wasn’t even 24hrs it was the same day…earlier in the day he was trying to get my attention and go to the music store (bcuz I like to go) to later I’ll kill you and I want you out of my life to you know I would hurt you” all bcuz I wasn’t responding
Exactly But when they began to
realize you are behaving differently,they will try to disengage first....Don't allow it,goso...
Thank you for this video, HG.
Absolutely spot on, remain an observer and just watch them fall onto their own sword. How can you fault information from the horses mouth or in this case HG Tudor-well done.
HG I have had strictly No Contact for 2 yrs
He has hoovered me a few times but I have ignored every time and the most recent on a birthday card through the post saying we need to talk
I’m going through a divorce now and I just hope you have taught me well
He is an evil maggot even to my children
I have completely ignored and had No contact
Thank you HG x
Hi teresa, i got a hoover after 7 months, (feb this year) i admit i replied as i was at the early stages of my healing...i was nice gave him no hatred az i knew thats what he wanted hatred, it was all lies, projection,poor victim, gasliggting etc. Saying he,s still single lol .what i did do was send to his auntie,so they could see what he,d said and that he was f€£king with my head,not had nothing since thank god..do they second hoover ?? 😨🤢🤢🤢 i have had no contact only that 1 hoover since last june a year now x
Stay strong...
You won't regret it but be careful in those weak moments. Do not open Pandora's Box!
@@cazz3031 It's me again and I want to mention on this one that it depends on the person! I've learnt that some hoover a lot and some every now and again and some after many years of no contact, which happened to me. He was married and only wanted sex though. He got very angry when I wouldn't let him come to my home, so it was obvious what was going on.
On the other hand, some of them never hoover, especially if they're good-looking and charismatic and find it easy to get new fuel. My last highly narcissistic ex gets plenty from going to AA and NA meetings, Al-Anon and churches, because there's so many vulnerable people there. They hang onto every word not knowing that the person is a dangerous predator, who hates women. ❤
@@thomasmcnerney576 you ever heard the old saying 'the hunted becomes the hunter"!!! ☯️☯️☯️🙏🙏
If I be truly honest I am sure he has only hoovered to manipulate the divorce amongst other selfish needs and lies
I have to stay constantly strong for my children and my future I just prey my Divorce is what I deserve x
Around, or, I’m scared to say, maybe even more than 80 percent of my close circle, including family and friends, is a cocktail of B cluster personalities and not one of them is self aware. I find it hard to believe a narcissist can achieve such a level of introspection. But, it seems genuinely so in the case of H G, and thus I take my hat off.
Great advice...The narc is constantly making fake profiles and stalking me...It's annoyingly hilarious.....
It's fun when u know...
I can’t even explain how badly I’ve wanted to have my say at times, I just know that the less fuel for the fire, the faster it burns out. Thanks to your videos I got out and I’ve stayed out - no contact, no interaction, no existence (you used these words to illustrate the narcissist’s ability to compartmentalise, I also like them as an addition to GOSO). It’s the only way.
I was caught in the middle of 2 narcs at work. They tried to pull me apart. #1 didn't want me to have a work place relationship with #2. #2 hated everything #1 said or did. I was desperate for relief. When the Human Resource Director was made aware of the situation she in turn expected me to help her figure it out. My response was to leave me out of it, deal with the 2 of them, the office had no problems with me!
This went on for over 10 years. Finally #2 managed to have #1 terminated and #1 laid all the blame on me saying I should have helped her. At that point I completely cut #2 off only spoke when nessacary. 3 months later, you guessed it, I was terminated because I was making #2 unhappy. So yes #2 thought she had won, but she still was not happy. She went on a office wide bulling campaign. By then HR realized she had made a big mistake, was going to terminate #2, instead #2 resigned beforehand to save herself the insult she had caused for me. Heard she was threatening suicide, she is currently driving husband #2 crazy. She needs another victim.
I’ve been saying this for ages. The best way is to not give fuel or attention. The RF are clearly getting good advice on how to handle this situation. People shouting for removal of titles and line of succession don’t see what effect this will have.
I prayed and God has Just now started to turn the tables.
Various downsides ... the master of understatement as always! The facade management will ALWAYS crack under pressure. The problem is that while this is satisfying to an empath who wants to be proven to be right, you must be ready for a conserted smear campaign amongst mutual friends. This can be very distressing for empaths so be aware you must go no contact with these people as the narcissist WILL be recruiting those lieutenants..
Will clean them out though. Was recently in a friend group with narcs. Whole thing exploded. Didn't need to do anything . House cleaning did itself .
Forget about kicking their butt. They don't CARE.
Accurate! This is currently happening in my life right now. I received tons of threats that the narc will smear me. I did not react one bit or get defensive. Just saved the messages for evidence.
Emotional thinking stinks! It’s an affliction just as much as narcissism.
Kyla Ren I totally agree with you and even wrote a comment on another video about whether narcissism is a mental illness or a personality disorder that they could say the same about people at the other end of the spectrum!
And it's not easy at all for those individuals, including me, to change unhealthy behaviours, such as learning to have strong boundaries etc and to curb the damn emotional thinking, which you mentioned. ❤
I'm getting better and better at it...Once you experienced enough pain trust me you will be able to hold the fort down ,so to say...
@@cyndigooch1162 What helped and continues to help me is knowing that I can't subject myself to anything or anyone that continually destroys my mental and physical health. My health took a toll for years and I won't ever allow that again. Keep working on solid boundaries because your life depends on it. 💕
This is exactly what Her Majesty the Queen is doing!
MeAgain is nothing more than a yapping, stumbling fool in heels. The Queen appears to some as if she's not doing anything. However, the Queen is in control, maintaining her dignity and showing class. The two things MeAgain will never have.
At about 13:55, you just described me to a tee!
I can vouch for this. His job, his family, his ex, all sees him as very disturbed. The job is trying to freeze him out by paying him the smallest salary in the office but he sticks to it. God I feel for them having him there 5 days a week with his extreme negativity and self pitying. One year today I have been free of him and I feel great! Noone sulking in my couch, no negativity. Da da da da daaa - Im lovin' it! ❤️
Also two years free. I even have a rehearsed statement to say if we should accidentally meet.
Bingo that's exactly what happened with my situation do you guys here this ,this is it I'm soooo happy thank you H.G I love you man. EXCELLENT WORK!!!!
Well said, and subtle strategy.
Understanding Narcissism, you realize 1) Remove yourself from the battlefield 2) If you have to be on the battlefield, dont battle but know how to not battle !
Good stuff Mister T.
Omg yes. I was so in love with him. He had me so fooled and by the time I figured it out, I felt so stupid and I wanted revenge, at first. I let him destroy everything good I had worked so hard for. But I didn't because I knew much of this. And now he's burning all his bridges and more and more people are seeing right through him. My "truth seeking" trait drove me crazy wanting to tell people, but I'm so glad I just kept myself out of it. Most people can see what he's doing now and it's icky and I haven't said a word, he's literally blowing up his own life and he can't blame any of it on me. Woohoo!
Side note: I love the terminology changes you've made. They're more accurate and helpful to us "appliances".
I've toasted several. Narcissists are no match for actual warriors. By the time the biggest ones have declared war for me, they weren't even aware of it. I however said "this is a declaration of war". Their ego makes them very emotional, paranoid, Etc so that they can't go to real war with anyone who is strategic. You're watching the Rope wind around there necks on their way to you. They tire every time until they lose and go out in a costly blaze of humiliation. However intelligent, their ego and their emotions make them stupid in my opinion and experience
Practicing Silence is key. 😉
I could give 2 f#$#s about talking, texting seeing, smelling my ex narc. I have heard you tell us over and over it is pointless, even ridiculous to even try. Got to be honest the addiction is still there, its a battle for sure. But, by logical thinking Im going to win. Your my weapon, Mr Tudor💯
HG videos is my escape from life. Thank you HG. I love your voice.
My daughter's husband went behind her back and smeared her to the pastor and she said nothing. Eventually, the pastor, by way of a public apology, got up and said, "Sometimes when someone tells you that their wife has done wrong, you eventually see that it was the husband who was 90% the guilty party". Or words to that effect. The minister's name was Pew, which I always thought was a particularly appropriate name for a preacher. This was back in the 80's in Wichita, Kansas. My daughter never opened her mouth and complained about her husband's abuse. She should have told others though. By being silent, you ENABLE the abuser!
Realizing that we cannot control other's behavior, only our own, is powerful. Knowing this INFO is very, very different from truly understanding it. We waste time on other's behavior when we need to focus on our self. To truly know our inner self and decide on what our personal compass is, is something we all should've started doing beginning at about the age of 4, before we began school. But western culture has forgotten the importance of knowing ourselves, we've forgotten how. Real, true yoga helps us to do this, but I'm NOT referring to American yoga which is a big farce, I'm talking about real Yoga, like what Sadhguru teaches. When we don't know how to do something, it's important to take instruction from people like HG Tudor, and Sadhguru.
Sadguru is a narc and works for the WEF.
So the queen and royal family are doing the right thing even though myself and others want the queen to do some thing about M!
I did the exact opposite! I couldn’t resist going after him by shouting what he is from the rooftop. Targeting a couple of his exes. Now I am just waiting for him to do something devious to me as a result! Oh well, too late now! I’ll just keeping looking over my shoulder, lol.
Girl don’t be scared!! Laugh out loud hell and most of the time they send threats to get control but won’t do anything they just want reaction so be free! I did the same mines feel exposed and like his back is against the wall so he has totally been avoiding me and demonizing me into the worst person in his head hahaha
I'm a super empath HG is write the best way is no contact just take control of your own life back it's not dealing with the narc only have the control that we allow them to have
I am a magnet for narcissists. Thank you!!!
Excellent advice. I believe I am following this with MY problematic people, which are female friends. But it’s good to hear it re-instated.
I HAVE AN "ULTRA NARC"; MY MOTHER. SHE IS CONNECTED IN EVERY WAY. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH THE DWARF SQUAD AND THE RELATIVELY INCONSPICUOUS ILL-REPUTED COMPANY SHE KEEPS TO FIGHT IT. TALK ABOUT NASTY!! THIS IS THE WORST; IT IS, LIKE I SAID, BEING MADE "IMPOSSIBLE." BUT THIS IS THE GOOD PART; IT'S NOT "ME" DOING IT, IT'S HER AND HER COHORTS, SO IN ACTUALLY I'M DOING IT ALL ALONE AND THEY HAVE ENTIRE REALM OF PEOPLE; IT'S ENDLESS. AFTER ALL, THEY "ARE THE LAW." I KNOW. :) THANK TUDOR. YOU HAVE BEEN MUCH THAN BENEFICIAL.
Emotional thinking is my new favorite thing. Thank you sir
I feel like I’ve discovered a treasure by finding your much appreciated knowledge and all the work you do on this topic… it explains a lot… Thank You 🙏🏻 for existing
7 years of Freedom now thanks to the guidance of HG. Revisiting these second to none teachings due to work. I can't begin to describe how valuable it is to be able to listen to these and apply the knowledge again. And for me personally a comfort. Why a comfort? Because everything said is spot on and because I absolutely know these weapons work. I was on a very long journey of pain and doubt and everything inbetween. I made it away from all that. Having the coaching from HG is so important because emotional thinking creeps in out of the blue when you least expect it, especially with new unexpected encounters in places you can't avoid being such as work. HG stops all that emotionality, if you follow his advice. When you are new to this you are incredulous and can be doubtful, but honestly take it from a survivor, this guidance is instrumental. HG is always with me, the unseen knight in the shadows, as I am never forgetting the things he taught me. I am grateful.🌹
Thank you sir, for the extraordinary public service and gift to humanity that you are providing via these podcasts. Tons of videos out there on the same topic, some better than others. Yet, for all this content, many videos don't actually get to the point of WHAT to do and WHY. Your succinct advice is fucking surgical in it's precision and simply some of the BEST content I've ever come across. Subscribed, with thanks from a Canadian fan.
I pretend things bother me that don't because he'll go after that instead of the real stuff I keep private.
He manipulates within the moment and exploits according to my reactions. I throw the game back at him.
Excellent video HG. Regarding Mid-rangers, so very true.
Thank you for the educational opportunity you are providing.
anybody can be brought down. anybody can be. even all narcissists. never let them fool you into thinking that they can control or have any sort of power over you or your life,or that they have any power over you or that they have any control over you or over your life because they are just fooling themselves.
I wonder if I am a type of narcissist myself, because I like to talk and talk too, but as far as I know, my motives for this is because I am emitionally needy, and I like to generate conversstion, or get into lengthy explainations.
That's it.
But I dont think that could be categorized as anything other than that.
Plus, I guess I am a writer, I love writing, especially letters and comments!
Great video HG, thankyou for this most helpful guidance. I feel reassured to continue, " Giving the narcissist enough rope." Grateful that you covered this aspect,HG.
Control over ? Something they had no hand in creating? It just portrays them as ignorant and oblivious. It shows weakness. To want power and control or to even state they are above anyone only shows the complete opposite. How can one hold the image and believe themselves to be entitled or a hero of sorts, when they hold zero accountability, responsibility and or any factual evidence that they are accomplished? People only see that as ludicrous and insane. Why don't they see that?
This is what’s so baffling to me. It looks absolutely foolish.
To use God language, Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.. I will repay.
They do show their true colours! My Narc mother engaged in a huge smear campaign probably handed out flyers too. When someone asks how my mother is doing, I simply say she is doing very well, thanks for asking. And…she actually is doing well getting all of her needs met …just not by me.
Absolutely love this, HG. It’s very validating. Patience really pays off with this technique.
This is really what the Queen is doing…..and Harry’s wife is showing who she is. Wise advice.
I’m totally get this because I was totally with a narcissist. Spot on sir.
I manage to send him to jail .sometimes you gonna fight ,he running from me now.Proud of me too.you can defeat them by calculate strategy.it was worth it 💕.Cc
My wrath. I don’t remember, just the stealing and lying. That’s all I remember, constant drama. But I learned, didn’t know it wa my fault because it already existed before I showed up.
This possibly the very best Video that HG has put together. It is absolutely right! Heed it well !
Needed this video.. thank you HG
Brilliant! Once again your advice is unrivaled.
I’ve been listening to videos and reading books and listening to psychologists for 12 years on this subject and I find this video to be one of the most important and I’ve heard.
It works and the best revenge!
I'm in a position of power right now having been no contact for 6 months with the "Angel with a Dirty Face" Narc. I can utterly destroy her by exposing her to her friends and family on a charity drive that she seems to be so "enthusiastic" about on an online forum. I don't know what she is getting out of it, but she seems to be hovering around my colleagues asking them about my business but not directly myself while creating the fake facade of the "working on this charity, please donate". I was almost contemplating getting revenge (as she's messaged 19 people close to me - all of them have blocked her now) but I realized it is high emotional thinking, but I also understand that I have some Narcissistic traits myself that I am working on. Cue your video, I have calmed down and laughed at the situation, she's trying to get my attention because I went no contact after the discard and wants to see my business fail at the same time. It's kind of hilarious to be quite honest, so many months later and she is still angry about the control dynamic that I kicked her out of class and that I didn't react to her smear campaign. I'll lend her some rope so she can keep pining to know more things about me as life progresses.
Your subscribers keep increasing! Not sure if this is good or bad? 🙈 so many dealing with narcissistic people or people finally seeing you are the only one that keeps spilling the truth. I am going with the latter. 🤪 as I am sure you are as well 😂😂😂
Brilliant 👌
This has answered a lot in my mind and understanding ( innerstanding) Thankyou!❤🗝
Time will tell our stories. You can only hold up a mask but for so long, before your arms get tiried and the mask begins to slip and others will see what wasn't said and your side of the story will be told.
Once had to tell a lower mid-range's mutual friend that i would walk away from everyone if necessary and made good on it 😐
I am fascinated by you. I learn from you and you help me understand. I instinctively "knew" elements of Narcissism because I had a mother, sister and husband who were one. You are the only voice that fills the blanks and illuminates how dangerous you are. I am reminded of the film Alien when the AI describes the Alien as impressive and pure. It also suggests there is aa simplicity of motive. Knowledge is power. Thank you.