“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing….only I will remain”
Thank you so much for this. I’ve been in constant survival mode for over 15 years working as a 911 operator. Stress, anxiety and anger have been a constant battle. I’ve been with the love of my live for 13 years but she has asked for a separation and divorce. I’ve been beating myself up for so long now.
Thank you for your help Rachael. The intense emotions that come with divorce are overwhelming for me, at times. You provide a clarity for my inner voice to identify what I am feeling and how to separate my emotions from thoughts, so the emotions don't take over. Sometimes the feelings of hyperventilating or a tightness like a heart attack manifests itself in me physically. Your directions to face these emotions and explore them, are providing the ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY insights to deal with my own mind.
This is a subtle but profound idea. Just feel the feeling without analyzing, just accept the feeling. And I loved the reference to Viktor Frankel. As usual, this was very helpful. Thankyou Bryon Szojchet
I would strongly encourage you to seek the support of a somatic therapist or emotionally focused therapist, or a coach trained in somatic trauma treatment. The physical pain from the trauma of a lost relationship is part of the body's nervous system response. It is normal and natural and it HURTS. There are a lot of things we can do to help that system regulate and rebalance, rendering what you are feeling more managable. If you'd like more concrete suggestions please email me at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com and give me just a few more details about you, I'll try to direct you to some helpful resources. This is also a good place to find a trauma therapist: www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
Your words are helping me a lot, thank you very much. I'm brazilian and is a relief that I found your channel. We live far away but you're doing something I can't find near me.
I'm really glad the videos are helping. I work remotely, and I actually have clients all over the world. If you're interested in going deeper into this, please download my app - it's free to get started. The app will give you more concrete tools, and it will also explain how to get more support and coaching from me if that's something you'd like. You can get it here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/bbd-free-app Thanks for watching and commenting!
33 year marriage to my first and only love! How do I move on after that? I'm 53? Six kids raised with this lady. Now what??? Some of those same kids helped destroy our marriage. I have no idea how to find love again!? I have only slept with one woman I truly loved and thought would live my entire life with! How do I even date? How do I find a mate who hasn't slept with handfuls of guys? How do I trust anyone else? I'm not perfect, but the choices for someone like me at 53? Sounds horrible, but I feel like the only healing is to find love again! I do nothing but cry any time something reminds me of my broken heart! Ex just seems void of emotions or care about me. Which, hurts even more! I ask how she is doing all the time. She has not once asked about how I was doing. Clearly, she has moved on. I just want to die. Nothing has even remotely made me feel better! The best I can do is forget about the pain, until it comes rushing back. I hate this!
Wow I’m going through something exactly the same but I’m 50 years old I have found some solutions to our problems maybe message me if you interested on how I found ways to fix this
I feel like no matter what I do I can’t escape 15 months so far of horrible pain. Body hurts now. I have ruined myself and it’s time to move forward or else I’m heading for a long road of suffering and I won’t be able to keep up with. Mental health is reaching critical stages. It is what it is. TH-cam content makes things worse
The only way is to replace them with the next person quickly. Soooo always have a garage harem yourself. Always!!! Marriage is not Forever. It lasts until it’s done.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing….only I will remain”
Thank you so much for this. I’ve been in constant survival mode for over 15 years working as a 911 operator. Stress, anxiety and anger have been a constant battle. I’ve been with the love of my live for 13 years but she has asked for a separation and divorce. I’ve been beating myself up for so long now.
Acceptance. Simply remind yourself "Her resignation has been accepted!" I purged the home of anything that reminded me of her.
Thank you for your help Rachael. The intense emotions that come with divorce are overwhelming for me, at times. You provide a clarity for my inner voice to identify what I am feeling and how to separate my emotions from thoughts, so the emotions don't take over. Sometimes the feelings of hyperventilating or a tightness like a heart attack manifests itself in me physically. Your directions to face these emotions and explore them, are providing the ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY insights to deal with my own mind.
How are you doing now? Is there hope? 💔
@@avabelletxhow are you doing post divorce?
The panic attacks are the worst
This was awesome; thank you. I was worried I was suppressing; I do a deep breath; but when things come up I’ll will allow them and be present 🎁
This is a subtle but profound idea. Just feel the feeling without analyzing, just accept the feeling. And I loved the reference to Viktor Frankel.
As usual, this was very helpful.
Thankyou
Bryon Szojchet
Feeling the pain is overwhelming and all encompassing. It hurts physically. I don’t know how to feel this and still function and survive.
I would strongly encourage you to seek the support of a somatic therapist or emotionally focused therapist, or a coach trained in somatic trauma treatment. The physical pain from the trauma of a lost relationship is part of the body's nervous system response. It is normal and natural and it HURTS. There are a lot of things we can do to help that system regulate and rebalance, rendering what you are feeling more managable.
If you'd like more concrete suggestions please email me at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com and give me just a few more details about you, I'll try to direct you to some helpful resources.
This is also a good place to find a trauma therapist: www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
This is great! Heard the idea of accepting emotions so many times but this gave how to actually do it in practice.
I'm raw and sitting with my pain. I'm struggling to accept my new reality. Fucking shitty!
I just get very emotional with all these different feelings
Me to
Your words are helping me a lot, thank you very much. I'm brazilian and is a relief that I found your channel. We live far away but you're doing something I can't find near me.
I'm really glad the videos are helping. I work remotely, and I actually have clients all over the world.
If you're interested in going deeper into this, please download my app - it's free to get started. The app will give you more concrete tools, and it will also explain how to get more support and coaching from me if that's something you'd like.
You can get it here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/bbd-free-app
Thanks for watching and commenting!
33 year marriage to my first and only love! How do I move on after that? I'm 53? Six kids raised with this lady. Now what??? Some of those same kids helped destroy our marriage. I have no idea how to find love again!? I have only slept with one woman I truly loved and thought would live my entire life with! How do I even date? How do I find a mate who hasn't slept with handfuls of guys? How do I trust anyone else? I'm not perfect, but the choices for someone like me at 53? Sounds horrible, but I feel like the only healing is to find love again! I do nothing but cry any time something reminds me of my broken heart! Ex just seems void of emotions or care about me. Which, hurts even more! I ask how she is doing all the time. She has not once asked about how I was doing. Clearly, she has moved on. I just want to die. Nothing has even remotely made me feel better! The best I can do is forget about the pain, until it comes rushing back. I hate this!
Wow I’m going through something exactly the same but I’m 50 years old
I have found some solutions to our problems maybe message me if you interested on how I found ways to fix this
I feel like no matter what I do I can’t escape 15 months so far of horrible pain. Body hurts now. I have ruined myself and it’s time to move forward or else I’m heading for a long road of suffering and I won’t be able to keep up with. Mental health is reaching critical stages. It is what it is. TH-cam content makes things worse
Thank you Rachel
Very helpful, thanks!
You’re welcome! Thanks for watching!!
What can I learn! Thank you for making these videos.
thank you, this was very helpful.
Thank you 😊
You're welcome, Dale. Thank you for watching.
The only way is to replace them with the next person quickly. Soooo always have a garage harem yourself. Always!!! Marriage is not
Forever. It lasts until it’s done.