you're unhappy that it's not easy to execute, so following this advice, accept this unhappiness too. in my experience you also gotta accept that it is a slow process, keep reminding yourself of this advice every time you find yourself failing to follow it, stick with it, and don't hate the mistakes or failures you make, see them as feedback and keep improving slowly over time. this very process itself is learning how to accept a negative experience. don't fret over failure, it's part of the process of learning and improvement.
Search about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It's based on the ditto premise and gives you actual tools to make it happen. Read the book A Liberated Mind by the founder of the therapy. Apparently Mark is fan of the book as well!
Happily getting older and caring less and less what others think of me...which is making me happier...accepting were all a little messed up and embracing it.😎👍
I am 27, I agree with you. The more I tried to get things in life more hurt I got, but once you give up and are receptive to whatever life gives you, you will be surprised with the positive things that you get. Stop wanting, just keep going silently.
This sh*t is sooo true... Whenever I want something I just say to myself "I might not get it" and then go try. Then I get it with ease and even if I don't get, I don't become sooooo disappointed. I just say, "yeah! Thought so..." and let it go.
The surrender of control is a tale as old as time. Trying to control too much pulls us away from what is ultimately meant for us and, as you get older, it comes back to bite you when you realize you over-thought a lot of your life.
I actually started doing thie more often, trying to help myself because I knew no one else was going to be able to help me nor save me. I had to be willing to save myself, so I did by reflecting on my past and the present. Unfortunately, I still got depressed more often the more I reflected on my life. And then something changed in me the moment I taljed to someone. I felt a lot better and a lot of baggage I carried with me was out the window. I became a different person with similar interests and goals. I managed to grow up more and accept myself as a flawed human being. Of course trying not to think of anything bad happening in my life is still a challenge.
Yeah, I've never sought relationships, they just happen because I'm usually out enjoying life and doing things, then I meet a person I get on well with and we're friends. If we REALLY get on well, then suddenly I am in a relationship. I've never been single for very long even though I am content being alone.
I used to be a stenographer. In stenography school, we had to pass 5 levels of speed tests that got faster and more difficult with each level. If I was taking a test and thought, "that's it I've definitely made too many mistakes, I've failed this test. Might as well just *write.*" And almost every time that happened, I'd do so much better and even passed several times. Basically, believing I'd failed and accepting that failure allowed me to stop overthinking and just DO THE THING which unsurprisingly helps us do the thing better.
I had a girlfriend who would tell me "don't worry about the things you can't control" and I said that it doesn't make sense to worry about things I can control, because if I don't like something I can control it to be something I do like. I only worry about things I can't control, but I worry less now because I know my power to control was always an illusion
I refuse to give up, I accept the reality around me but that also won't stop me striving to better my life. Why would you ever give up, the journey is worth traveling good and bad
This is what Robert Ardrey wrote about when describing the state vs the noyeau. But cultural norms rather than personal choices, these define certain major divisions of European culture having preset norms as described here. Personally I have abandoned being happy for simply living among humans for whom doing terrible things to helpless victims as well as the earth passes for normal. Years ago I went vegan and began animal rescue because I *can* do something about it. But, each to his own. Just know your limits then work inside them. Thanks for the advice.
Ahh I understand now You “give up” and become powerful, how so? Instead of chasing the goals and have them feel farther and farther away, you relinquish control and let the goals come to you
I was once on a trip where everything went wrong, so wrong we could only laugh. The trailer with our canoes blew a tire, so we had to abandon it in the middle of the evening. We couldn’t boat to thd island campground so we had to sleep on a basketball court and wait for a motorboat in the morning. The last night of the trip the motorboat came unmoored and sank. Other campers relying on the motorboat stole other campers canoes. It was a whole thing and a great story and we had a great time in between these disasters. Adhering to a strictly outlined schedule has always led to frustration and anger.
Don't try to control every aspect of life. Controlling every detail to make your life perfect isn't the answer. We fail on our way towards the desired outcome, because we aren't perfect creatures. And that's how we learn what works and what doesn't.
Letting go of the stranglehold on life is the greatest feeling there is. Find freedom in lost hope. Let the world do its thing and take what you can get.
I'm happy in my mid 30s. My advice work on getting a career and a family. I know a person who became an internet troll. He was a decent guy until his 40s came around. He has a biology degree too. He never worked in his life and never had a girlfriend. He whole hearted believe that his innate traits limited him. He blames things he cant control as the problem. I said smaller people can knockout people too. We literally got into a screaming match because of this. He started from 0 to 100 with anger to his family and friends. I'm not small and he was by the way. I'm Asian and he is Asian too. It always made me uncomfortable when he talked down on our race. He even said Asian people were dumb when every metric and stereotypes said this is untrue. He has panic attacks and would cry out of nowhere now. The last time I saw him. He still lived with his parents, his room was a complete mess, he had no friends and family around because of his anger problems, and he spent his entire life trolling on the internet. If you actually saw a real internet troll in real life, you will never ever want to copy them. It is a sad life. I saw a guitar and sang "Hurt" by Jonny Cash when I visited. He ran to the restroom and balled his eyes out. He told me to leave afterwards.
Sounds like a guy I know. He likes to follow these internet trends called "red pill" where he basically believes that every woman who rejects him will live a miserable lonely life because Feminism or some shit. It's really sad, and hearing him talk about how he's going to go to Japan to find a "traditional" wife just makes me shake my head. The dude is angry with himself and his family because he works as a trucker and his family can't help him when he's on tough times cause they're all poor. So who does he blame? The President of the United States as if it's this guy's fault he spent 37 years of his life belittling women and being outraged that they like to have sex. It's really childish and sad. I don't know how Japan is the solution but I currently live there (US Military orders) and I guarantee you the Japanese girls wouldn't appreciate his attitude and self hatred. They'll also reject him and I don't want to see how he'll react when his perceived only hope of losing his virginity also turns him down. It's sad man, the only thing I can tell people is learn to love yourself, accept your flaws, find your internal beauty, and find a job that you either love or pays the bills and allows you the freedom to pursue what you love. Can't say much after that.
@@JamesRogers233 this kind of thing is tragically common these days. Men become isolated and forgotten by society so they lash out. There's tons of black pill/red pill crap out there that makes lonely people feel powerful but for all the wrong reasons
@@Vivi_9 that is sad. Maybe instead of taking pills they should improve themselves? I mean once you're 18 your life is your own. So this dude had nearly 20 years to turn it around and he just squandered it with self hatred and lashing out at everything and everyone. I don't understand the lack of accountability. Like, do these people not want their lives to be better? They have the power to make decisions that benefit them. I just don't get it!
@@JamesRogers233 these people definitely want to live their lives better, they turn to help and the manosphere sucks them in because that content is everywhere online. I know this because during an awful break up I did the same thing. Except I had enough agency to break away from such toxic mindsets. I feel sorry for people who basically get recruited into a cult. The online grifters causing more division in society are the ones I truly despise.
@@Vivi_9 I'm really sorry to hear that man. I mean, I just wouldn't advise anyone to take relationship advice from some old dude who's been divorced 3 times and claims to have "figured it out". Asia certainly isn't the answer. There are a lot of guys who are here thinking they're going to find their "Japanese Waifu" and then they don't realize how repulsive they are. I think they're here for the wrong reasons.
What a great idea! Don’t set the goal to learn to play an instrument. It will just happen. As well as becoming good in your profession. It just happens. 😂😂😂
I let my wife date other men not because I’m powerless but because I’m powerful. I stopped trying and now I live in a tent. My only friend is a pet squirrel I stole as a baby. Thanks!
Foundation of happiness comes from good brain chemistry i.e good brain health. Then when you apply this advice then it works. In most cases it's automatic.
I think and hope that this is your start to return to the right path. In Arabic, the word Islam comes the verb tasleem which means giving up control to your creator.
I find it difficult to live an intentional life. Why this might be? I have proper intention to study at certain time but i am able to follow through with it ,only few times. How is feeling brain here? Is it the case ,where thinking brain and feeling brain not inline with each other? Why am i always disabled inside ,when i have an intention to carryout something and why is it ,for the things i have no intention to carryout it, gets successfully carriedout by me with no fear , hopeless-ness and doubt about it. Because of this i am unable to make change at a pace ,which is needed at my age.
The difference between a kangaroo and a terrorist is imaginary. When you realise that's an imaginary difference then you can love the kangaroo 🦘 and the terrorist 💥 identically
It's a great advice. And like most...it's simple to understand but not easy to execute :'(
you're unhappy that it's not easy to execute, so following this advice, accept this unhappiness too. in my experience you also gotta accept that it is a slow process, keep reminding yourself of this advice every time you find yourself failing to follow it, stick with it, and don't hate the mistakes or failures you make, see them as feedback and keep improving slowly over time. this very process itself is learning how to accept a negative experience. don't fret over failure, it's part of the process of learning and improvement.
Search about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It's based on the ditto premise and gives you actual tools to make it happen. Read the book A Liberated Mind by the founder of the therapy. Apparently Mark is fan of the book as well!
thank you. @@AriaHarmony
You can't actually understand it without practicing it. Until then it's just something you think is a good idea.
It just takes time nobody cant rewire their brain overnight
Happily getting older and caring less and less what others think of me...which is making me happier...accepting were all a little messed up and embracing it.😎👍
"a little"
I think I care more as I get older.
@Ti-kp9gh interesting...my wife's the same way.😋
@@fireandirie plot twist: hes your wife
@derogren 🤣 That explains a lot actually...
I am 27, I agree with you. The more I tried to get things in life more hurt I got, but once you give up and are receptive to whatever life gives you, you will be surprised with the positive things that you get.
Stop wanting, just keep going silently.
It’s his whole point, his whole work. Being vulnerable and accepting it. Letting go of the rest bring so much peace of mind
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
We are not in control of other people's thoughts, actions, or speech; only our own.
Let Go, Let God.
This sh*t is sooo true... Whenever I want something I just say to myself "I might not get it" and then go try. Then I get it with ease and even if I don't get, I don't become sooooo disappointed. I just say, "yeah! Thought so..." and let it go.
I am eternally grateful Mr. Manson makes videos now, especially shorts like this one. So digestible and short.
This coincides with that prayer. "Give me yhe strength to make chance. Acceptance when I can not. And the wisdom to know the difference
We need such truth reminders
So BEING the positive Experience IS the answer.
Not to seek it from outside, but to CREATE it from within. 🎉
My new mantra is: „i surrender“
I just do it and i only trust the process
Mark you have a lot of wisdom in general but this is one of your pieces that are absolute gold. Thank you for the validation and support around this!
The surrender of control is a tale as old as time. Trying to control too much pulls us away from what is ultimately meant for us and, as you get older, it comes back to bite you when you realize you over-thought a lot of your life.
damn... that last part sums up so much
@5eant_ yeah there were a few times where I wish I didn't rely so much on pros and cons lists and went more with my gut instincts.
Surrender of control… Some of us just can’t & gotta pay to experience that feeling once in a while.
*Mark is full of wisdom.*
This I like, and it helps.
I actually started doing thie more often, trying to help myself because I knew no one else was going to be able to help me nor save me. I had to be willing to save myself, so I did by reflecting on my past and the present. Unfortunately, I still got depressed more often the more I reflected on my life. And then something changed in me the moment I taljed to someone. I felt a lot better and a lot of baggage I carried with me was out the window. I became a different person with similar interests and goals. I managed to grow up more and accept myself as a flawed human being. Of course trying not to think of anything bad happening in my life is still a challenge.
I love the looping touch of your shorts recently
...and this is why when you're single and happy by yourself, someone will suddenly want to start a relationship with you.
Real
And then that ruins the happiness somehow
Yeah, I've never sought relationships, they just happen because I'm usually out enjoying life and doing things, then I meet a person I get on well with and we're friends. If we REALLY get on well, then suddenly I am in a relationship. I've never been single for very long even though I am content being alone.
😂😂😂@@ric12
My dad stated you may not control everything that happens to you in your life, but you can control how you react to them
I used to be a stenographer. In stenography school, we had to pass 5 levels of speed tests that got faster and more difficult with each level. If I was taking a test and thought, "that's it I've definitely made too many mistakes, I've failed this test. Might as well just *write.*" And almost every time that happened, I'd do so much better and even passed several times. Basically, believing I'd failed and accepting that failure allowed me to stop overthinking and just DO THE THING which unsurprisingly helps us do the thing better.
Acceptance and allowance is everything! Thank you for the reminder 💗
I had a girlfriend who would tell me "don't worry about the things you can't control" and I said that it doesn't make sense to worry about things I can control, because if I don't like something I can control it to be something I do like. I only worry about things I can't control, but I worry less now because I know my power to control was always an illusion
Your mindset is 🐐
This just caused a paradigm shift in the biggest focus area of my life for the past 7 years. F*ck it! I can always start over, LFG!
The Antidote, happiness for people who can't stand positive thinking - Oliver Burkeman
very profound advice, ty ❤️
Thank you
when i try to be positive backwards law works and when i try to be negative it works
I refuse to give up, I accept the reality around me but that also won't stop me striving to better my life. Why would you ever give up, the journey is worth traveling good and bad
One of the main stoic principles is to understand and let go of what you don’t have control over.
It's not "relinquishing the control", it's "relinquishing the desire to control". They are two different things.
Graditude 🙏🏼🤗
❤ love backwards law it has helped me so much
So true Mark❤
thanks for the advice, i can really see and identify that this happens in real life, this is a good video, i'll try to apply this in my everyday life❤
Thanks mark
Hi mark, today i finish to read your book, and i only want to say... Thank You!
Thank You , Thank You !
Glad to see you started creating shorts man ❤
"We went to a concert, got stuck in the rain. It was great."
Absolutely true! 😊
This makes perfect sense 👌
“Lo más que valoramos las cosas fuera de nuestra control menos control tendremos nosotros”
This is what Robert Ardrey wrote about when describing the state vs the noyeau. But cultural norms rather than personal choices, these define certain major divisions of European culture having preset norms as described here.
Personally I have abandoned being happy for simply living among humans for whom doing terrible things to helpless victims as well as the earth passes for normal. Years ago I went vegan and began animal rescue because I *can* do something about it.
But, each to his own. Just know your limits then work inside them. Thanks for the advice.
Humility
The subtle art of not giving a f**k
the best channel i have ever seen
I can’t make someone love me or like me but if they do something illegal then I have every right to do something to stop them from harming me.
Sir love from Pakistan 🇵🇰. I'm a huge fan of yours.❤...
Ahh I understand now
You “give up” and become powerful, how so?
Instead of chasing the goals and have them feel farther and farther away, you relinquish control and let the goals come to you
Wonderful
I was once on a trip where everything went wrong, so wrong we could only laugh. The trailer with our canoes blew a tire, so we had to abandon it in the middle of the evening. We couldn’t boat to thd island campground so we had to sleep on a basketball court and wait for a motorboat in the morning. The last night of the trip the motorboat came unmoored and sank. Other campers relying on the motorboat stole other campers canoes. It was a whole thing and a great story and we had a great time in between these disasters.
Adhering to a strictly outlined schedule has always led to frustration and anger.
No doubt 👍
Subtle art ❤
Trust the universe
Eres un genio con la gran obra que has hecho el libro de, arte casi todo te importa un carajo
References please. An article, study, philosophical argument? Intrigued by the paradox and wanting to see where you found this.
It's called expectations
I needed to hear this
Don't try to control every aspect of life.
Controlling every detail to make your life perfect isn't the answer.
We fail on our way towards the desired outcome, because we aren't perfect creatures.
And that's how we learn what works and what doesn't.
Why bother changing myself for the better when i can just accept the negativity! Gteat advice!
Letting go of the stranglehold on life is the greatest feeling there is. Find freedom in lost hope. Let the world do its thing and take what you can get.
I'm happy in my mid 30s. My advice work on getting a career and a family. I know a person who became an internet troll. He was a decent guy until his 40s came around. He has a biology degree too. He never worked in his life and never had a girlfriend. He whole hearted believe that his innate traits limited him. He blames things he cant control as the problem. I said smaller people can knockout people too. We literally got into a screaming match because of this. He started from 0 to 100 with anger to his family and friends. I'm not small and he was by the way. I'm Asian and he is Asian too. It always made me uncomfortable when he talked down on our race. He even said Asian people were dumb when every metric and stereotypes said this is untrue. He has panic attacks and would cry out of nowhere now. The last time I saw him. He still lived with his parents, his room was a complete mess, he had no friends and family around because of his anger problems, and he spent his entire life trolling on the internet. If you actually saw a real internet troll in real life, you will never ever want to copy them. It is a sad life. I saw a guitar and sang "Hurt" by Jonny Cash when I visited. He ran to the restroom and balled his eyes out. He told me to leave afterwards.
Sounds like a guy I know. He likes to follow these internet trends called "red pill" where he basically believes that every woman who rejects him will live a miserable lonely life because Feminism or some shit. It's really sad, and hearing him talk about how he's going to go to Japan to find a "traditional" wife just makes me shake my head. The dude is angry with himself and his family because he works as a trucker and his family can't help him when he's on tough times cause they're all poor. So who does he blame? The President of the United States as if it's this guy's fault he spent 37 years of his life belittling women and being outraged that they like to have sex. It's really childish and sad. I don't know how Japan is the solution but I currently live there (US Military orders) and I guarantee you the Japanese girls wouldn't appreciate his attitude and self hatred. They'll also reject him and I don't want to see how he'll react when his perceived only hope of losing his virginity also turns him down. It's sad man, the only thing I can tell people is learn to love yourself, accept your flaws, find your internal beauty, and find a job that you either love or pays the bills and allows you the freedom to pursue what you love. Can't say much after that.
@@JamesRogers233 this kind of thing is tragically common these days. Men become isolated and forgotten by society so they lash out. There's tons of black pill/red pill crap out there that makes lonely people feel powerful but for all the wrong reasons
@@Vivi_9 that is sad. Maybe instead of taking pills they should improve themselves? I mean once you're 18 your life is your own. So this dude had nearly 20 years to turn it around and he just squandered it with self hatred and lashing out at everything and everyone. I don't understand the lack of accountability. Like, do these people not want their lives to be better? They have the power to make decisions that benefit them. I just don't get it!
@@JamesRogers233 these people definitely want to live their lives better, they turn to help and the manosphere sucks them in because that content is everywhere online. I know this because during an awful break up I did the same thing. Except I had enough agency to break away from such toxic mindsets. I feel sorry for people who basically get recruited into a cult. The online grifters causing more division in society are the ones I truly despise.
@@Vivi_9 I'm really sorry to hear that man. I mean, I just wouldn't advise anyone to take relationship advice from some old dude who's been divorced 3 times and claims to have "figured it out". Asia certainly isn't the answer. There are a lot of guys who are here thinking they're going to find their "Japanese Waifu" and then they don't realize how repulsive they are. I think they're here for the wrong reasons.
Bloddy love this xxx
If only I could stop doing it. Just like that
Beautiful
Yeah this happened to me yesterday...
cool shit bro 🤑
This video slaps me so hard that I fell from my chair.
It’s called the Law of Reversed Effort Mark
But I'm finding everyday, it's difficult to cope with people being powerless, being not confident! I'm always feeling urge to change from inside..
Stoicism at it's best
“Like that’s ever gonna happen.”
❤❤❤❤
What a great idea! Don’t set the goal to learn to play an instrument. It will just happen. As well as becoming good in your profession. It just happens. 😂😂😂
I let my wife date other men not because I’m powerless but because I’m powerful. I stopped trying and now I live in a tent. My only friend is a pet squirrel I stole as a baby. Thanks!
David Hawkins wrote a book called Letting Go. It’s all about it.
Sei molto in gamba ti seguo dall'Italia complimenti 😊
Foundation of happiness comes from good brain chemistry i.e good brain health. Then when you apply this advice then it works. In most cases it's automatic.
God! You are making too much sense.
I think and hope that this is your start to return to the right path. In Arabic, the word Islam comes the verb tasleem which means giving up control to your creator.
But we should pursue our goals.
That sounds very reasonable. But what are practical ways you apply the idea of relinquishing control? Examples?
Not going into something with an expectation.
no wonder why i'm always unhappy...
MJ from spiderman said - Expect disappointment so you wont be disappointed.
So basically "fuck it, we ball 🔥"
The gap between our expectations and outcomes is the measure of your happiness.
Improve outcomes and reduce expectations to get happier day by day.
So accepting I'm a loser and have no control, my family hate me/that but then when I believe I have control MY FAMILY hate me/that that to? 🤯🤬.
I think happiest is delusion 😢
✌️
Yeah sit there , don't do anything 😮
This is the One piece. It's about journey not result.
"Backwards Law" from Alan Watts, philosopher
Life is cruel
This is one of the tenets of Islam
I find it difficult to live an intentional life.
Why this might be?
I have proper intention to study at certain time but i am able to follow through with it ,only few times.
How is feeling brain here?
Is it the case ,where thinking brain and feeling brain not inline with each other?
Why am i always disabled inside ,when i have an intention to carryout something and why is it ,for the things i have no intention to carryout it, gets successfully carriedout by me with no fear , hopeless-ness and doubt about it.
Because of this i am unable to make change at a pace ,which is needed at my age.
The difference between a kangaroo and a terrorist is imaginary. When you realise that's an imaginary difference then you can love the kangaroo 🦘 and the terrorist 💥 identically
Reminds me of the lyrics in “Holding onto You” by twenty one pilots
|-/
This from a book called :the subtle art of no
Buona serata a tutti 😊
So many fucking people need to understand this
When the movie will be out?
Well, in Islam we call the art of giving up as "Tawakkal"