Knowing that you are adequate after narcissistic abuse
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
- In today's video, I want to explain why it can be forbidden to know your adequacy while in relationship to the narcissistic abuser. There are basically two reasons: one from the demands of the narcissistic abuser and the other from the need for attachment security by the scapegoat survivor. At the end, I'll show how this ruse that you are as inadequate as you may feel can both can be noticed and challenged.
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Jay, I owe my progress to you and Patrick Teahan. I cannot express how grateful I am for this information that you give to us for free. This has been better than all the othet therapists I have seen put together. Thank you so very much
they are my top two period!!!
Will I ever be a part of anything real in this life-it all seems to be built on lies!
Jay is a gift.
I agree
When a narc parent or any narc sees the good in you, they can't appreciate it because it's a remainder of their own inner misery where there's no joy or love, such thing hurts them a lot and they "get even" by putting you down constantly.
That's why they set you up for failure and block your gifts and talents. They spoil any given happy moment you could have. They also hate to see you grow.
To them life is a contest not a fest.
Thank you dr. Reid for helping us find our way home.
Thank you for your strong,insightful words! You are all over this. You give me hope.🙏bless
This is so true! The envy is eating away at them.
My dad picked on me all the time when I was resting or watching TV.
As a teenager, I had to always be studying. I got stressed and physically sick from the stress.
I was sent home from school once, my dad didn't show any compassion, he said that I needed to study. And to get myself our of those feelings of being sick.
I have gotten so much better as I take breaks from work and I have a coloring book. And I dance, and I have fun. I also got myself a Bicycle 🚲. I also play at the park. Also I enjoy pleasure more.
My own husband made me feel guilty for lying in bed and sleeping, from Lyme disease and seizures. I get it girl. These people are nothing to me. I will not be someone else's bad behavior ever again. People tell me to love and have compassion for them. I refuse to. There are just certain levels of people that I will classify no different than a demonic inhumane murderer.
I've come to find out that everything a psychopath or a narcissist tried to drill into my head as a flaw, turned out to be my greatest strengths. Healthy people point out these same things as strengths that these sickos drilled into my head that were flaws. I've also come to realize that no matter how amazing you are, a narcissist will find something wrong with it. I was a preacher on a pulpit at one time. And even serving God wasn't good enough for those types of people. They're fucking sick. Distorted. And I'm finally living as my authentic core self, with my identity and beliefs so intact, then I will help anyone to learn the strength and communication skills that I've acquired along the way to deal with these types.
Oh! My goodness! I got sick from stress as a teenager, too, from all the pressure to achieve and be perfect, all while working a job and caring for my siblings and "pulling my weight" on our farm. Our bodies knew it was too much, even if our minds didn't!
Sorry you went through that and I love the things you are doing now for "self love" like getting a bike and playing at the park 😎. I only remember going to a playground once with my narcissistic mother but I used to take my little niece all the time to parks when she was little, so it was like I was able to be a kid again, too. These narcissistic parents never show compassion. It is like they are robots without emotions (except for anger). Wishing you continued healing. 🌸
My narcissistic father made a joke about something in the military saying “why are you still breathing”? Then he said, when he was younger in the Army, his Captain grabbed a rabbit nearby, cut it’s head off and drank its blood as a show of toughness. My dad always has to prove how tough he is by bullying us. He’d say that his mother refused to work and let his dad control her so she couldn’t dye-her hair. She wasn’t allowed to drive either. My dad’s hyper controlling narcissistic behavior is diabolical, invalidating and manipulative. He constantly financially abused me for decades.
I asked my dad how he met my mother. My brother and I agreed about how strange it was that they hid their love story from us. We have many family secrets!
This video is so enlightening AND hopeful. I really appreciate your deeper dives into ALL of these topics. Also the way you gently let us know, that all of these issues are actually nothing more than the narcissistic parent's issues. Deep down we have always been OK just as we are. As adults we can understand it now and make more healthy decisions moving forward. It helps so much. Thank you!
It helps to know the truth that none of it was our fault. What they said were lies. Family was just an illusion.
@@christar9527 Exactly! It was soooooo messed up.
You’re the most comprehensive and exact therapist helping with narcissistic abuse here on youtube. So many others talk about extremes. But dealing with a narcissistic parent is so complex. They’re not just acting bad. In fact, it’s the unreliability and the subtleties that make it so much harder for the child to figure out what is happening. I don’t have problems with condemning the extreme moments. What produces the worst self-doubt was and is the positive moments and the subtle scapegoating, the control hidden behind proclaimed care, the criticism of your character in the guise of “It’s just because I care…maybe you should think about your behaviour xyz…just saying…” etc.
You are brilliant. I don’t know why you don’t have more subscribers.
Exactly it's in the details too.
100% he really gets it.
I've concluded that, in a relationship with a narcissistic person, the goal should be to disappoint them. If I can start from that point, I'm a lot less likely to buy into their judgements of me.
I was always trying to fit in with my family. I could never connect to anyone. I had to go along to get along. I couldn't be accepted for who I really am. My family didn't show me any affection. I didn't feel loved because there was no love in my family.
Totally the same for me.
Your content really is exceptionally good on these topics. Thank you!
The remedy for narcissistic abuse is to shamelessly assume your worth and stick to it. If someone treats me less than I deserve, I cut them off. It includes friends, partners, family members, etc. You are the one who can assign your worth. There is no "outside source" deciding what you deserve and what not. Intuition plays a big role in avoiding toxic relationships. I no longer gaslight myself that: "I am oversensitive or think too much" etc.
Excellent comment!!
I as well have just started to "cut people off", I just stop responding to them in ANY WAY aside from a brief comment on Facebook. I have a really good ear and have been VERY helpful and then USED by many Women (MEN just want sex). So when I stop answering their RANDOM texts at all hours whenever they feel "lonely" I get a "I miss our talking EVERY SATURDAY", I just do not answer. They can go to THERAPY! They have husbands and jobs and others to PAY THEIR BILLS and I waste time being their FREE therapist while they show FALSE empathy when I mention that my OVEN is broke and my POWER is flashing on and OFF while they jabber on incessantly for HOURS!
This is what I took a long time to figure out. My mom was the original, though, so it has been a lifelong thing. I never felt justified, I wanted the other to admit that they did not care. I know they'll never give permission for me to walk away, but I want to believe they can be reasonable and willing to represent themselves. They will never admit that they do not actually care. Which is so wild to me.
I think the constant made to feel inadequate led me to develop perfectionism and ocd traits. The constant need to over check in with everything I am doing . Did I say this right or am I doing it right? The nagging feeling inside of something is wrong . I feel free when I am in a creative flow and trying to learn not to edit myself when in that space.
Wow ☺️ your reply is extremely relatable to me as well (and i DO have OCD and BDD diagnosis and no longer speak to any of my family of origin)
I still somehow am afraid to decide that I did suffer from narcissistic abuse what if I'm wrong, but I too feel free and myself when I sing or dance.
The creativity seems to be stopped by envious people anywhere, family work or maybe I created this narrative for myself idk but bottom line is everything here in the video and comments are relatable and the confusion and pressuring myself makes sense now.
I was always tidy & organized. My parents commented on this often although my mom used to say it as a backhanded? compliment that I should become a cleaning coach.
My friends from primary school told me they found our household messy so I tried to keep it tidy for my own peace and out of shame.
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650 It's ok , please don't worry or be too hard on yourself about whether you are right or wrong about nailing down if your parents hold the narcissitic title. All toxic behavior can be very damaging . It matters more to ask yourself how do they make you feel in their presence. Do you feel safe , can you freely be yourself without fearing critisism and judgement, do you feel small around them like they hold the title of being bigger and better than you ? It's more important to be aware and honest with ourselves how do we feel than to have a diagnosis.
It's ok to not have all the answers now, in time the healing journey unfolds more clarity. The more we learn about how their behavior affected us the more we learn to be gentle and loving with ourselves.
Me too. Plus I notice that I feel guilty about nothing and everything. I’m still on edge after 6-7 years no contact.
Sorry. Just watched a video on baby monkeys being made insane by isolation. I wonder how I am as sane as I am.
Humans are not monkeys.
This is so eye opening- I had a similar type of shame thrown on me about high school athletics with my narcissistic mother. I could be winning games, In newspapers , etc, but those good moments were short-lived, and so during times I wasn't practicing or working out, I was made to feel I was a burden and didn't care about my family, that I was some lazy loser. Now as an adult, I certainly know I need rest, but the longer I rest the crappier I feel about myself. So then I take on more, too much, and become tired and resentful. Then I feel crappy about myself again bc I can't keep up
Relatable.
My mother used to forbid me as a teenager to lay on the couch.
I don't know if that's a part of narcissistic behavior of a parent bc many things are often seen as common but I guess with narcissistic family it all adds up.
Several elements in parent's behavior make it unhealthy and not loving.
Wow. My parents used to shame us for being "lazy" as well - which really just meant being caught resting or being at ease...you know, as children. Years ago, when I had my wisdom teeth out as a freshman in college, which I had scheduled over spring break so that I could recover and not miss school, my mother mocked me and jabbed continually about how they paid for the surgery (insurance did), how she was "taking care of me" (she wasn't - not even meals or tea) and I wasn't doing anything except lying around. Never mind that I had scheduled the time to read all the literature for an extra Honors workshop course I was taking - at the University where I had a full Honors scholarship, so I wasn't costing them any money. She was such a horrible $%&*@. I am learning that it was because she felt so inadequate, and it is also hard not to take those attacks on my character personally, even now. I struggle with self-care and healthy boundaries to this day, and it is hard to learn to rest, or to feel adequate.
Yes. I am familiar with reasoning that they project their own inadequacy into others. It seems a lot like saying that all those who were molested as a child grow up to be molesters. No. I’m sorry that I am not able to absolve their evil ass because they were treated the same way they are treating me.
Same!
Wow, this one hit home for me, found myself crying because I can relate so much to this experience during my childhood and when I was married and in toxic work places. You are right, being able to experience healthy relationships with safe people allows oneself to be validated for who they are without having to perform or always be ‘doing’ something. Narcissistic people are unable to validate others for who they are, just what others can do for them. I sometimes still feel this sense of uneasiness and guilt if I am not always ‘doing’. But now that I understand where this originates from, it’s easier to work on it and make necessary changes. Being able to be my authentic imperfect self and accepted as I am has been very key to healing. Thank you so much for your insights!🙏💜
It’s how the object works for them. Object being a human being. If you don’t work correctly you will be thrown out but not before they’ve given you a good beating.
Thank you for validating us, Dr Jay.
I recognize this pattern and behavior but I cant seem to be able to place my father in the " all bad" camp. There were moments that seemed to come from a loving heart. Although I question those moments. I found a Fathersdaycard i gave to my dad when i was 6. I wrote: My dad is kind, but also mean. And that has been our relationship all the time. And I am as divided on my feelings for him to this day. I hate him, and love him sometimes. I was badly wounded by him mentally (and my mom for that matter) but he sometimes did or said stuff that makes it hard for me to just write him off 100% as a bad person. Which would be so much easier for my mind. Why are my feelings so conflicted?
I struggle with this too and feel the same way. From what I’ve been reading I think it’s called Cognitive Dissonance. It sounds like that is a huge factor in creating trauma. I would love for Jay to do a video on this as I still struggle to understand the subject.
I feel the same about my mother.. but I realised with time that I shouldnt feel so conflicted, the at least seemingly good doesnt negate the bad.. the bad did serious damage and I deserved better than to feel this seriously conflicted.. I realised no child needs to feel so deeply torn.. that in itself is a painful thing.. maybe the good was a rouse or a convert narc thing etc.. but either way I do believe some was from genuine good intentions and that she did deeply love me but maybe more in the way someone loves someone they project themselves onto, a bit like a mirror not sure I could fully be my own individual..but life is complicated and its not all 100% bad and it's not all good, but that doesnt negate the bad and sometimes the bad outweighs the good 🤷♀️ it's a painful thing but what matters is putting yourself first for once and being honest in how it affected you both the good and bad and protecting yourself if you have to.. loving yourself and letting yourself be your own person and trusting your instincts.. it doesnt matter if it was all good or all bad or somewhere inbetween what matters is what you can do to make sure you matter to yourself from now.. that you see yourself as valuable and a hero of your own story from now on..
but yes I realise this easier said than done.. it's a constant sore spot and painful thing for me but I try to consistently choose myself from now on.. its deeply painful but life is too short for me to put my feelings at the bottom of the list and always second guess myself or feel scared of her on some deep level (although I will always feel that way).. if I need to protect myself I will.. if I dont feel comfortable around her I wont force myself to feel otherwise because she had some good intentions too or did some self sacrificial things too etc.. I honour my feelings as much as I can.. something I couldnt truly do for a long time..
Jay has a video on altruistic narcissists that may help. I struggle with this too because my parents did a lot for me. But, I can see the manipulation in it now. They wanted to create dependence in me. They wanted to be seen as the most functional.They expected constant praise and for me to be totally compliant in return. Some people can seem very kind as long as you are making them feel good or aren't sparking their jealousy. There is also intermittent reinforcement and love bombing to keep us hooked and confused. Stockholm syndrome is when hostages can develop loyalty to their captors when the captors show brief moments of compassion amongst the cruelty. A good example of this was tbe relationship between the kidnapper and the kidnapped n the movie The Mexican, with Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt. So sorry you.are going through this confusion. Please have patience and compassion for yourself 💕
I get little praise with hidden agenda from manipulators
I do as well. IF they blow it up to "over the top" kind of accolades I WAIT for their next REQUEST of/for free services from me!
Your videos help so much and the stories you explain are relatable. Everything you say is too familiar. Nothing is good enough for these sorts of parents. They will suck the life out of the scapegoat child who tries to please them or make them proud. Life is so much more beautiful and peaceful when you stay away from narcissistic parents.
A classic tactic by the parent to give incomplete instructions or no instructions when tasking their kids with a chore. Then that parent would berate the child for doing it wrong. It’s all one big setup and it’s insidious that the parent proactively sets up their child to fail.
My mom had so much grandiosity and was a self professed expert in many things. I believe this tactic of tasking her children with chores they had no experience in was to get narcissistic supply. It was a way to showcase her “skills” when she would be “forced” to do everything by herself as a result of our “incompetence”.
My narc mother also was a self proclaimed expert in every field. I discovered that her different tactics to set up me for failure in chores were not only to put a "debt" on me for her "caregiving" or another way to ruin my self-esteem but also because she was the only expert caregiver and no one should compete with her in this role. I have kinda natural talent in this area, also artistic/handmade/design talent, so I was deliberately set up for failure every time and made to believe that I'm awful in taking care of my home etc. She also hijacked my choices simultaneously portraing herself as democratic mother, who allowed me to make "my" choices, which - surprise - were faulty. I was made to believe that having my own free will was dangerous - I will always fail if I make my own choices (in reality they were all hijacked). So there was everyday brainwashing how great my mother was in comparison with other parents, I should be more grateful for having such a great mother (wow, such a lie). In reality many parents were better, at least they were not narcissistic. She was great only in her eyes, but coerced others to share her delusion.
And yeah, "doing everything by herself" - no missed opportunity to show you how much a burden you are
R K, It should not amaze me at this point, however the level of similarities my mother has with yours is astounding.
The "debt" you mention is the ultimate tool that was used to coerce me and my siblings to be indebted to her. Her stories were on loop of how much she sacrificed to provide for us despite my father being the main bread winner.
Yes. As the "expert" she was always doleing out advice.. and consistently contradicted herself. I was the one who challenged her narrative when I was about 11 or 12. Prior to that I believed she was the victim and I was protective of her. She hated when I made my own choices and I was very active outside the home. However, in my early 20s is when I made the error of allowing her to control me. This was the same period my 'lost child' sister became the golden child. During this period I "lost" my best friend when my sister became close with my mom. I was constantly badgered and pressured to "listen to mom". Triangulation and gaslighting became the norm with my mom and sister. That messed me up until I learned about narcissism 10 years later.
I'm sure we have a lot of similar stories and I'd like to hear more about your story. Very cool that you're artistic. I am too, I can draw faces really well. I'm a singer too. Take care
My dad did that.
Sorry 💙
Another video that really resonates 💕. All my life I thought I was inadequate and irresponsible, but I'm now learning that many people are just using my overinflated sense of responsibility in order to manipulate me. I'm wary of the people that have complemented my sense of responsibility, because they want me dependent on their opinion. As soon as as I don't do what they want, I'm inadequate and irresponsible. I have to learn to know my truth and know that I'm not responsible for everything and everyone, and that I'm human and it's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes don't make me inadequate and irresponsible.
I'm so sorry for everything that you went through. And I fully understand. It was drilled into my head what a horrible person I am. That I didn't know how to communicate effectively. I have people all over my county and State uplifting me, telling me what a great speaker I am. I have people all over the world who write me, and tell me that I have a flare with my words. So all along it was them who couldn't talk. Who were filled with conflict and control issues and anger and rage. Yet they accused me of this, and we all come to find out we are completely opposite of everything they ever accused of. Because the healthy people around you, will immediately notice these as your strengths, whereas a narcissist told you they were flaws.
Same. Same.
My ex narcissistic landlord used my overresponsibility against me.
Gave me impossible rules to live by and when I complained, the problem was me.
@@dancinginthepurplereign4126 Yep, I've been there. An ex landlord acted irritated when I had an issue. When he finally addressed the issue, he asked me why I didn't let him know sooner. Whenever I had an issue, which was rare, he would ask me if I was happy there... WTF?
@@dancinginthepurplereign4126 I wonder if that's part of this quote-unquote narcissist Playbook?
The ex narc used to make me think I was wrong for being organized, or remembering a birthday, or remembering amount of money I spent. So weird to reflect back and see what these people get mad at is so ludicrous, but during the time it's so confusing and you really believe it's your problem.
I came to later find out that they want to try to drill into your head with intermittent reinforcement, and in train you to be insecure over your greatest strengths.
Same here. My mother told me her trust in me was damaged bc of an incident when I was around 19 years old.
She said this when I was 29.
I just blocked but it paralysed me and I still feel seen as different than my siblings.
The incident was that during my parents vacation I was at home and I didn't took the dog out for a walk in time so he did his needs in the garden.
It was indeed irresponsible but I also think I looked for love and I was distracted by a guy who visited me that day.
I went to parties so yes I was not as Christian and serious as my siblings but on the other hand I think these actions of me were an unconcious response to pressure and expectations which worked out the opposite.
From young age I helped cleaning in the house, I took care of my youngest brother emotionally when he was bullied at school and I talked to him when he ran upstairs crying after my parents told us they were going to divorce.
I was caring and empathic. I'm not perfect but I never insulted them yet I was commented on with sarcasm by my brothers and sister.
I took distance from my whole family.
It still hunts me with guilt for abandoning them.
I also felt as if I was less worthy bc I was single and not married.
I told my mother I needed space bc I felt manipulation, she replied 'there is no manipulation'.
As always you are singing my song. And as always I feel validated and stronger. Thank you!
Yeh, My mother required me to be invincible and brave but without any kindness, understanding or support. I disappointed her relentlessly.
I didn't realize it was ingrained into my subconscious mind and had severe self-esteem issues even when I was striving in school and then at work I felt not enough. The narc condems me during school even my "A", he said "It must b a LOW "A". I only found out something was wrong with me one day when I received a gift from my employer for doing a good job, I felt so guilty until I cried just for being gifted a gift for my performance. After few more years, I realized that the narc was checking and condemning me on everything I get for myself even when it was essentials. I was very thrifty to a fault that I used till my things / gadgets died only did I get myself 'average' priced replacement only to be told STRAIGHTAWAY by the narc "You have SOOO much money to waste, don't you?" even when I really needed those things and bought from after saving for it. It's made me anxious even to go for a nice meal like after few months. But the narc will be splurging on ridiculous nonsense that he threw away after a week or month. I still feel uncomfortable even when I work with clients and they like my work.Recently, one even told me that I just need to give myself more credits.
Narcissists are always commenting on others in this labelling, criticising way.
Controlling and always wanting to be above you. They can't deal with another personality so they create boxes, frames and labels for everyone.
My parents always compared me and my brothers. Positively or negatively.
The world would be such a beautiful place if people would give eachother room instead of criticising eachother subtle and openly. .
Why am I watching this at 2:30 am 🤷🏻♀️🤣
4:30 am here lol
Ha ha 3:04 am here 😅
2:22am wow! Los Angeles, CA
how do we heal when the narcissist tells you they aren't a narcissist and say, "you are delusional".
I feel I'm going slowly insane 😢
Get away from the narcissist or at minimum, muffle his/her voice in your head. You know yourself much better than they do and that inner truth will grow stronger the more you listen to it
Your videos are more helpful than therapy, I’ve been looking for this information for years, wish I had known what Narcissism was 15 years ago…
My most concerning issues are codependency, blurry boundaries and trauma bonding.
Thank you so much for this information! I am finally unraveling things that have been staring me in the face for many decades.
I had the same experience with resting. I never heard from my parents to just stay home and sleep. A week after I had lost my 9th pregnancy my mother told me to go get a job right away because we had financial problems...I was always deemed lazy..when I was 4 my nickname was Lazy Laila..
so sorry, just horrible.
Thank YOU
Doc Jay, appreciate you 🤗
Been there,done that and have the t shirt. I have a phd yet I have often felt inadequate. I was basically taught such as a child. I am gradually replacing my old belief with one that goes, “I am good enough.”
You have never said, "You are Co-DEPENDANT and must TAKE THE BLAME for your contribution to YOUR SUFFERING"!
Scapegoats of narcissistic parents should take no blame. He specializes in scapegoating.
This is long but I have to get it out. I was blinded in an eye by a doctor I was working for because he gave me the wrong prescription. My face was twisted like a pretzel too and I was in pain but mostly shock because it was permanent damage. I took a day off of work to deal with it and he fired me. After that I was looking for jobs and for places to live. I found work where I had to be there by 5, 6 or 7 AM. Meanwhile I was moving a lot and lived with some abusive roommates who were strangers. (Later on one of them attacked me with double brass knuckles and smashed that same eye completely. That was a living situation I was forced into by my mother despite my gut feeling screaming “No!”. She wouldn’t listen to me saying no.)
I got so depressed from all of this and got little sleep. My parents had convinced me to move across the country and live with them. They forced me to get up at 7AM because that’s what they did and I could never say a word to them about anything. I was exhausted but told I had to get busy. I did a lot volunteer work of various kinds and took college classes even though I already had an M.A. from Columbia University.
From the beginning of all this my mother was telling me that I should kill my self because no one could stand me. She called me “the loser “ and said I did everything wrong. Both “parents “ told me that I was “the devil “ even though I was the good one in the family like you said Jay. I was the empath who cared about everyone, was gentle, a hard worker but also the truth teller. This traits sealed my fate.
I spent my life in psychiatric hospitals and emergency rooms from making suicide attempts (about 30 years). I guess I understand a little more now why I did what I did. I was doing what my narcissistic parents wanted me to do to make themselves feel better. Sorry if this is disjointed but I blocked all of this out from my memory until recently.
💜
the story of my life... Now I am a great workaholic
I really appreciate you and these videos thank you
Also love the yellow
GREAT channel . . !!!!
ikr 👍
He suffered childhood neglect. What kid has root canals unless the parents didnt teach Greg how to floss and brush daily. And, the father didnt show any concern about the moth surgery he had. Damnnnnnn
Wow resonances so much! Relentless interference. It was such a joke.
Jay you are excellent in helping people work through things. Your case examples are really helpful.
Thank you so much 🙉!! I can’t tell you how much I needed this message this morning!!!
Thank you so very much!
Both of my parents are narcissist I think the narcissistic mother is harder to decode than the narcissistic father as a male. It's something about the mother that makes you can't believe she hates you for her own entitlement
Thank You ! Soooo helpful! I’m becoming who I really am.
My dad was a relentless, perfectionistic task master and the guilt and inadequacy that arise when I rest or relax with free time creates extreme anxiety that feels unbearable. This helped me connect my dad to my feelings of anxiety and inadequacy. He said I was lazy and selfish, but I didn’t have any friends who worked as hard as me.
Absolutely love your videos man. You have helped me come to terms with my life. First time “waking up” in my 33 years of life, PAINFUL
This is a tough one for me. As you allude to, I sometimes find myself feeling inadequate or less-than for no reason I can really determine. That's when my mind goes on a search for something I am bad at or something I failed to accomplish. Then I find that I'm back in balance. I really hate that cycle and am working on getting out.
I also do that , Try imagin a big stop sign, to stop it , look up dmt breathing with wim holf and look up you can heal your life by lousie hay. and wayne dyer pullin your own strings, do affrimations , make a happy song list on a mp3 player.
@@otismeotisme7987 I love the big stop sign visualization!
OMG.......
This week has been HORRIBLE...and I feel like I will NEVER feel OK...
Even when THEY seek me out because of how good I have been to them....
I STILL feel HORRIBLE ...
I feel awful most of the time...
I know I am a kinder, nicer person than MOST POS TODÀY...
I feel like I have to just stay away from most aholes today...
SIMPLY BECAUSE I AM
TOO SENSITIVE
TOO NICE
TOO WHATEVER......
THEY WANT ME GENTLE AND PASSIVE WITH THEIR BS....
BUT
WITH OTHERS...
THEY WANT ME TO BE A TRICKDICK EITH OTHERS
It is very sad when you’re not allowed a sick day!
Later on I was so grateful to God for allowing me to get Covid just so I could get rest away from some of those devils!
That’s when you know it’s bad when you have to fight or get sick or hide to have peace!
I have so much to teach young people not to fall into that trap!
You have to watch who becomes your friend!
God bless you!!🙏❤️🕊🎶
The FUNDAMENTAL PROBLEM....
You STILL are remembering those FIRST ORIGINS OF LIFE....
I FEAR IT WILL NEVER GO AWAY...NO MATTER HOW RATIONAL ALL ARGUMENTS ARE...
STILL........
THE MOTHER (IN MY CASE) AND LATER SIBLINGS ARE POISONOUS MAGGOTS...
AND NO SUBSEQUENT GOOD INPUT CAN TAKE AWAY THAT HORRIBLE PAIN.
The rational arguments and the good input can only help together with gaining distance and finding safe people. Both is not easy unfortunately, but sometimes life gives us opportunities to do so (or at least a little bit), I hope very much for you too.
I feel for you. I also sometimes think of everyone in my family like that. Lower than maggots and I won’t say the rest of my thoughts.
"competitive" corporate workplaces especially when they start to justify ignoring health issues.
Thank you Jay. This particular video rings so many bells. You have been helping me a lot.
The narc. wats you dead, even if even the narc. doesn’t know that. Their attacks are the narcs finding fault with themself.
Thanks.
Greg and I are one in the same it feels like. This describes my experience perfectly.
Just got off the phone not long ago. It was a physiotherapist office receptionist turning me away from my appointment and directing me to other physiotherapy offices instead. After their physiotherapy office on a form asked some very nonsensical questions. Like if I wanted to be treated as only an X or only other things instead of only being a female or male and they were asking me if I wanted to be addressed with the title Mr., Miss, Mrs., Ms., They along with our given at birth name. No I am not going to bother them again while they are busy trying to work by trying to point out that whatever professional told them they should be doing so is only a narcissist. Which in fact could only have been the I.T. professional who helped set up that professional office.
Important topic. My mother felt me inadequate.
I now realize that if God didn’t give me a subhuman father, I’d be a billionaire!
This life requires to much from us-we need to be compinsated!
Hi Jay, assuming his father continues to treat him as inadequate, how would you recommend Greg goes forward regarding the relationship with his dad?
extremely familiar. thank you for helping us to see through the veil and understand and point out these wrong things so we can peel them out from inside
Right 🥰🥰💞😃❤️😘🙂🦋
I need a good therapist.
Thank you
Are you Greg?
I am adequate ❤
Great video 👌