I ALMOST FORGOT! This is where I got the cow plushie: www.etsy.com/uk/shop/CowelyCrochet It wasn't gifted or anything. I just saw it on instagram and thought "yeah, I need one of those" 😂 🐮 🍒
the 'boyfriend gets arrested' ones are so funny to me because i can't even imagine one of my friends coming to me like 'hey can you push me against this wall, i'm making a boyfriend pov'
XDDD it's so great it almost looks like he's winking, but actually he's just wincing in pain due to the excessive force being used by the cop arresting him
Also it is so often portrayed in these fantasies as that when they respect consent the girl suddenly does want to hook up. As if a basic sign of respect is enough to get us going.
Given the absolutely historic culture of non-con fantasies, this is actually an improvement. It took 10,000 years of recorded history, guys. We finally did it.
You possibly know or are related to a teenager. If you befriend one some day, this information can help you save a life. I'm related to at least one, that I'm aware of. Edit: confirmed 👌, we are related, says so on her birth certificate. Also she looks like her father and I had a baby and his name is on there too......wonder how many other teenagers I know.
How's the campaign going? Do we still need to worry about consent and people seemingly not understanding it anymore? Or do you need more flyers? Hm...well, seeing how things are currently going I'm going to guess you need more flyers.
I donnow, I thought the "are you sure, you don't seem really into it, let's go get frozen lemonade" one was kinda wholesome. I like that it's being modelled that yes doesn't always mean yes, and consent should be enthusiastic, and there are other options to still spend time together, like getting lemonade. The Chick Fil A was pretty cringe, but I've heard the food is considered pretty good, and maybe it's the only place open late at night where he is?
Consent povs seem to be good in the sense that they raise awareness and gives people an idea of what could be good or bad on a situation, however, I can't help but think these are done in the spirit of "look at me! I'm so great! Give me bonus points for doing the bare minimum!"
Yeah it’s definitely a mixed bag! On one hand it feels very performative. At the end of the day, though, I like to think that they’re doing more good than harm. Maybe that’s a little optimistic of me 🥴
That’s how I feel too. I’m sure it is virtue signaling, but like you said: it could have a good impact. Maybe young girls will be “pulled in” by the attractive guy but ultimately come out being able to better identify a bad situation (hopefully). I wish that as a young teenager I was better able to identify situations that were nonconsensual (I.e pressuring/when drugs are involved for example) but those situations were so normalized for me that I wasn’t able to identify them as r*pe
Even if they are a little cringe, so many of the thirst trap and romance tropes in general are riddled with consent issues( all the romanticization of this toxic dude whose domineering and takes what’s “his”) so i think these consent TikTok’s could help shift the norm a bit to a more healthy view on things, which would be an improvement
I agree. I think it's important for the young, female audience to understand that they don't _have_ to consent, that it's possible to withdraw consent, and that's okay.
Imo, consent also (!!! not exclusively) needs to be taught in a way that frames it outside of sex and sexual activity. "No means no" extends to so much!! Like no, I don't want to hug my creepy relative. No, I don't want to be tickled,, etc.! I can think of going to the dentist for a filling and being asked if I'm in pain and if they can continue; that's consent!
This is so fucking true and definitely needs to be discussed more omg. I think because sex is seen as more vulnerable than other kinds of contact it’s seen as more serious, but boundaries being breached in any context is bad and should have just as much pushback. I’m autistic and I can’t stress enough how much people ignoring my discomfort and clear boundaries as a child fucked me up as an adult. That shits no joke!
I don't get the joke but I am European and I don't know what chick fil a is, I mean I googled it and it is restaurant simmilar to McDonald but I still dont understand?? 🤨
Once while i was visiting my girlfriend in Ireland, one of her friends started drunkenly listing all her favourite breeds of cow to me while we were just hanging in a field by the pub. She clotured her list with "I fucking love cows" in a North Meath accent. My conclusion to this story is that the cow should be named Caoimhe.
The thing about consent being sexy is that when consent has been taboo for so long, it CAN feel as sexy as any other dirty talk. But doesn’t mean that it should be sexy- because it should have never been taboo in the first place.
Exactly! I understand why people are against that phrase, I mean, consent is a basic human right, but calling it sexy can remove it from the 'mood killer' status that people have so lovingly put it in and personally, I like that.
that "cool guys get conscent" tiktok has big 90's era psa energy to me and I absolutely love it, might actually download tiktok just to watch more of that person's stuff
Its something they already make fun of in the manosphere. "Is this guy bothering you" is a meme they use to make fun of "beta losers"that defend women.
imo a lot of the consent povs focus too heavily on the idea that "no means no." while yes, "no means no" is absolutely a true and important statement, there are so many more ways that someone can say "no" and by overwhelmingly focusing on the "no means no" idea, it gives the impression that if the person doesn't explicitly say "no" or "i don't want to," they're giving consent. silence, intoxication, someone pulling away, etc. isn't consent either and i feel those are the issues that are the most ignored in real life too. idk the whole cringe-element aside, i feel like the povs would at least seem less performative if they weren't so surface-level/even more basic than consent 101.
consent is a positive claim and must be proven it's impossible to prove a negative absence of consent cannot be proven yet the law ignores this coercion also vitiates consent vitiation
@@Smettb00 Yeah, the second one also is not a direct no. 'Would you stop loving me (or something similar) if I say no?', while it does mean no, don't clearly say 'no'.
I have a close friend who was once hanging out with her weed dealer and he started touching her and even said, "That's not a 'no'," at one point as an excuse to go further. She didn't want it or anything, but she was so depressed at that point in her life that she just didn't have the will to do anything and almost let it happen. She did eventually remove his hand and leave, but for a while, she had cause for concern, considering she knew he had a knife on him and knew where she lived. It took a while to help her find some sense of self-worth and she's in a better place now, but there are probably a lot of women and girls in similar situations and it's depressing to think about. Every time I remember that guy's words, I just wish I could get my hands on him, but I also remember that there are a lot of guys out there who say things like that and get away with it.
My main beef with those consent POVs is that ultimately the guys who make them are still doing the creepy thing where they sell an image of themselves as a love interest to a bunch of teenagers. They're not educating others about consent so much as they're trying to fulfill a fantasy that many people have of being with a partner who respects their boundaries, and they're doing it to a vulnerable audience, and to me that's just really weird and unhealthy.
While I agree that this is something that can and likely does occur, I don't think its fair to demonize and entire group of people for the things that some individuals do. You, nor I, are able to determine what someone's true intentions are. Some of the people making these POV's are incredibly young and may genuinely want to share a positive message and I don't think treating them all like creeps is fair
I am just gonna say it! The getting "arrested" POV, 9/10 times, they look like they are getting it on with the cop while looking dead into your eyes. It is flipping disgusting. Deserves a solid restraining order out of 10.
I worked in Retail for years, and of course, that means standing behind a counter facing the public for long periods of time. There were some customers I served for years who likely never saw the lower part of my body that was behind the counter. So the "strangeness" of Tara having lower limbs made perfect sense to me.
I do understand why people are pushing back on the phrase "consent is sexy," but I personally like it because (in my opinion) it was never meant to be like, a common phrase. To me it's just dismissing people that won't ask for consent because they think it """ruins the mood.""" Consent is absolutely a fundamental human right, but it doesn't """ruin the mood"""" like some people insist it does
I would agree, and also add that a lot of prevalent sexual fantasies and porn revolve around a man dominating a woman and "taking what's his." Not that people aren't allowed to have these fantasies and enjoy them, but I always felt like "consent is sexy" was about pushing back on that a little bit and trying to change the dominant cultural narrative about sex into something more positive.
Scarlett Cowhansson? : ) Your "dude" voice is absolutely amazing, and almost exactly the one I've been using to mock "dudes" since I was fifteen (early 80s). My best friend and I actually made a "radio show" in which we performed a drama called "Dirt-head A-go-go" and our dude voices and phrases were so epic we had to constantly stop the recording so we could laugh for extended periods of time. [sigh, I miss those days] Thanks for your take on this issue, and for bringing back priceless memories.
@@haleymist09 My friend, who owned the original cassette tape, had it converted and burned onto a cd. Perhaps I can use that as my next self-taught editing tutorial. : )
I think that the consent POVs is a net positive. They give examples of a good reaction to being told no, so if later in life if that viewer tells someone no and they get a toxic reaction, then they would know that something is off. I think that many young women feel that they need to give into their partner's expectation of them when they don't want to. Being exposed to a respectful representation of what should happen when you don't give consent will be helpful in the long run.
Thank you for being the FIRST person I’ve seen covering POV to actually point out that it’s like HALF of the time completely WRONG! Ah it pisses me off so much and and it pissed me off more that it seems like no one was mentioning it and there was so much catharsis hearing you say it XD
I never thought I, a lesbian would come up to bat for floppy-hair-boy-tiktokkers, but I don't agree that young women don't need to see romanticized depictions of this kind of healthy non-creepy behavior. I had friends in high school who didn't realize that they'd been sexually assaulted by a boyfriend until months or years later, because we live in a FUCKED culture and boundaries between couples aren't talked about nearly as much as stranger-at-a-party situations. It IS bleak out here!!! Think about it for a second: the idea that you could just stop and get fries instead of continuing has appeared in..................... what media? Like, seriously, name a piece of romantic media that depicts a couple stopping because one person doesn't feel like it, and it's not treated as a big deal or a sign of the relationship failing. CRICKETS!! So while these POV tiktoks are doing the bare minimum, mainstream TV shows like You are still having girls swoon over literal stalker-murderers. Obviously I'd prefer if the pro-consent message were in Dune 2 starring Timothee Chalamet for maximum audience reach, but this is fine too. It might be low-brow or cringe but at least it's romanticizing healthy behavior for once!!!! Like, maybe we're raising the bar from a subterranean location miles beneath the earth's crust up to THE GROUND, but at least we're raising the bar!!
I agree, but can't not comment to point out that "You" is literally about the overlap between "classic romantic" tropes and dangerous controlling violent behaviors. I know that that's irrelevant to your point tho, and it's true that that's happened, even if it's the opposite of the show's intention.
@@Suzanne4415 i have tendency to like fucked-up fictional characters since my first anime. But in You, everytime single time, i wished he would die instead of his victim. I literally wanted someone to kill him and take up the "protagonist" role.
Yup. I had a friend in high school who told his boyfriend twice to stop doing a certain act, and the boyfriend just kept going. I had to remind my friend multiple times that that is the textbook definition of SA. My friend was 14 and the BF was 17. If my friend had had a better education, then maybe it wouldn't have happened. Or maybe it would only have happened once. Or maybe they wouldn't have stayed together for another 3 months until the older person broke up with my friend. And maybe my friend wouldn't have been completely wrecked emotionally for at least the next year. And yes, if I ever see that asshole again, I plan to punch him into next week. Fuck him.
The problem with consent POVs is that, by taking a good message and putting it in a cringe format, it can make that message seem cringe, which is definitely not what you want with a message as important as consent. The anti-smoking ad campaigns in the U.S have been struggling with this for decades and only now are starting to get it right.
honestly this would go better by having a girl just do bare minimum movements like looking away looking akward or even mumbling anything but these ones to me are just uncomfortable to watch, maybe they work better for women I don't know.
Tbh even if those tiktokers are doing this “educational” stuff only for the approval of their own viewership (virtue signaling, if I may), isn’t it still good that those opinions are being openly voiced? I think we should encourage more people to talk about consent, in any space, to all audiences. Also, sure, probably MOST girl already know about the importance of consent, but I’m sure at least some, who grew up in conservative households, always been told to “dress modestly or they’re ‘asking for it’”, might have internalized misogyny and those TikTok might help them normalize some feminist ideas in their eyes. I think I found my point along the way: those tiktoks are not doing something revolutionary, but they ARE helping to normalize and further spread conversations about consent, and I believe we should celebrate it.
i feel that this is sort of the opposite of normalizing. they're trying to show that they are special because they respect consent. the whole point of a thirst trap is to show an idealistic fantasy that's better than reality because why would they get views otherwise. it seems like it's popular to comment stuff like "OMG if only more men were like you." that gives the opportunity for other men to say that "yeah i don't do all that but I'm just normal, you need need more realistic standards, only a few lucky people get respectful boyfriends." we laugh at people who want a white knight or prince who will swoop in and save them from anything, this is giving off the same vibe.
"It is really freakin' weird to make thirst traps for your underage fans?" I don't have an answer for that, but the music industry has been making a living that way for decades. See pop princesses, boy bands, a huge number of music videos, and all of kpop.
I think this is a great idea. Think about it: even in the best case scenario, your average 13 y/o girl knows they have a right to say no, but they have no idea what that actually *looks* like, or how it *should* be responded to. Setting up an ideal to aspire to, the way we all used to aspire to rom-coms that were basically centred on steamrollering boundaries, might actually be more informative than a dry lecture - which they probably aren't getting either, since consent education is woefully poor. Letting girls know what it should look like makes it much easier to pinpoint when a situation has gone wrong; often, post SA, there's still a feeling of uncertainty that the assailant's actions were wrong, in part because of a lack of knowledge. Is it depressing to see the lowest of bars being held up as an aspiration? Yes. But it's also an honest reflection of how consent conversations more often play out, especially amongst younger people who maybe don't have the confidence to enforce their boundaries. Consent might not be sexy, but we're at a point where it still needs selling. Marketing consent as hot and aspirational might be imperfect, but it's so much better than just expecting to follow consent rules without education or incentive - because in reality, many people just don't.
Just wanted to throw in my 2 cents on “consent is sexy”. I’ve known a lot of guys that find asking for explicit consent to be awkward or embarrassing. Especially in High School I heard dudes say things like “but won’t asking for consent just kinda kill the mood?” I feel like the whole idea behind “consent is sexy” is to reframe and emphasize the fact that you can very easily discuss consent and boundaries without killing the mood.
Cowrolina must be the name of the cow. It has pretty much the same pronounce as the name Carolina, wich means "sweet lady" or "lady of the people". It is also the name of my friend and i wanna see their reaction if they found out a glamorous cow like her was named after them.
i just started absolutely cry laughing at "you cant take your gf to chick-fil-a. what if shes gay?" bc when i was 15 i had a bf and our first date involved chick-fil-a before watching a movie. one year later realized i'm a lesbian
I like how you mentioned the "consent is sexy" phrase because whenever I hear it, it's a requirement. I think they mean making sure your partner is comfortable with whatever you're doing it in a sensual foreplay kind of way if that makes sense. But consent itself is not the part that makes it sexy. I understand the message but I just think it's best to remind people that it's always a requirement
Jophiel. Jophiel was a Biblical archangel whose name translates to "divine beauty". It was also the name of my mother's tiny 17 year old cat, who passed away a few days ago in the car on the way to her final vet appointment. I think Jophiel would be a lovely name for this darling ❤
As an asexual person, I'm normally triggered on consent talks in general, which is crazy. But people tend to go on and talk about it as "how far should you go to get a yes" whne the main thing should be "no is no, and if the person is just playing hard they should go to therapy and learn to be more direct in their communications"
the thing is some people will not just say no they will do more indirect actions and people need to understand that Emotional Intelligence is important the idea of reliancing hey this person seems uncomfortable are you ok.
Your comments on all of them having floppy hair and doing thirst traps for teenage girls made me realise: they're basically modern boys band members. The music industry has spent decades selling "young hot but sweet, sexy but not dangerous" guys to teenagers (if you go the cynical way, that's basically Bo Burnham's "Repeat Stuff"), and whether consciously or not, they are building a similar brand. In that sense, the focus put on consent reinforces this image for them. This might be genuine or cynical, but they tap into a well-tested demographic.
Damn I didn't know Tara was irish, I thought she was english. Name your little red cow Anna Livia, like the character from James Joyce, the master of POV Tik Toks
I think she lives in England, but grew up in Ireland? Something like that. She explained it in a community post when people were hating on her "changing her accent", when it was just from visiting family.
I think girls need to learn abt consent for their own sake, not even violating others’ consent. They often don’t know what healthy communication looks like
i get where you (and the article) is coming from and i don't think they're doing it to educate other men since (as you pointed out) they probably won't see the tiktoks and there is a good chance their just doing it to get engagement/ compliments from their audience, but also i think it might be good for teenage girls to see that they deserve to be treated well. like yeah the bar is in hell and consent should be a given and telling someone you don't wanna hook up shouldn't be nerve wrecking, but as an insecure teenager it can be and i think some good can come from girls seeing that that's how a guy should respond and if he doesn't there's something wrong with him and not with her (even though, again, i wish it wasn't like that)
I completely agree. Teen girls need this talk just as much as the boys do and I mean…let’s not forget how Twilight made girls think possessiveness and jealousy is love and affection. If “hot guys” are the ones selling the consent-is-good image-then at least girls can fantasize about guys like that and hopefully end up in relationships that AREN’T Twilight-esque
My thoughts exactly. It's good for teenage girls to get the message that a hot guy should respect your boundaries. When I was that age, all the movies were about boys trying to get girls drunk and r*pe them. Yes the bar is on the floor but at least these guys are clearing it.
Personally, I think healthy stuff like we see in these POVs should be romanticised more. Yes, it's cringe, yes it's a basic hot guy doing the bare minimum but at least girls are fantasizing about being treated with respect instead of possessiveness and jealousy.
"consent is sexy" is uhhh... I do love it when someone is good about asking consent, checking in, taking "no's" etc.. If they're verbal about it and use words more than body language (seriously: use your words). Makes me feel super seen&heard, safe, and respected - that stuff. That's kind of sexy.
Tara, you're looking bloody fit in this one! As for the topic: you said it best at the end "povs are cringe and they should be illegal". A great quote, one for the ages.
This is what I need to get me through the impossibly hard and irrelevant anatomy test I've got to do tonight, tysm ☺️ all my love to you and the cow ❤️😘
The problem that I have with these thirst trap dudes is absolutely not the message they're supposedly trying to send, but imo they're using "social issues" as a thin veneer to show off their attractive faces to a young and impressionable audience.... They are indeed cringe. Thanks for sharing it with us Tara!
POVs suffer from the same issue that 2nd person narration does in writing - it places the viewer/reader in situations where they are essentially being told/shown what happens to them without autonomy and with very pointed assumptions about how they will respond - they are literally anti-consent in their format
0:33 - tHE COW TATTOO 😭 I love your commitment to cows, this is my favorite quirk of this channel POVs are what I expect a modern twist on the Clockwork Orange torture scene to look like. God help us all 🙏
A couple of thoughts from a 24-yo asexual (tw: non-graphic discussion of SA and CSA) who was r*ped twice in their life: consent isn't sexy. I've always hated this phrase, not because of what its intended message is, but because of the implications. Consent is sexy is gross, because nothing is sexy for me. If consent is de facto sexy, then I guess because I'm ace, I don't have access to consent? Consent isn't for me? Is that it? Consent isn't just about whether or not your ready to have sex in this particular instance. I'm never ready to have sex, frankly, it repulses me. But that means it's also very much consent to ask me if I'm interested, and to respect that my 'No' doesn't mean 'maybe later', but 'absolutely never'. I've experience, twice, the most traumatic thing that could ever happen to me. But the second time in particular relates very well to what the video is about. I was 21, and I had just shared with a guy I was semi-recently friends with that today was the anniversary of me being S.A. He was very sympathetic, and even shared his own experience with non-consensual groping by his ex gf. So I was pretty sure we were on the same page, you know? I was kinda into him, but hadn't mentioned yet that I was ace because I wasn't even sure I wanted anything to happen with him, and not to stereotype, but I know from experience being biromantic, that men are a lot less okay with dating an ace person than women or nb ppl are. We shared a few kisses, but I told him quickly I wasn't very comfortable with kisses because of trauma linked to that first S.A. and he eventually relented, though obviously not being pleased. Well I didn't need to wonder for long because the next night, we shared a bed for lack of space at the music fest we were, and he assaulted me. That man knew I had been r*ped as child, it was the day after the anniversary of that event, I had expressed on multiple occasions that I wasn't consenting to kissing because of trauma, then repeatedly expressed loudly my total lack of consent during that next night. Consent was never the point. He never had it, and there was nothing sexy about that. Calling consent sexy strips asexual relationships and partners from the security of giving or retracting consent, it undermines consent in platonic relationships where physical touch or intimacy might very much need to be consented to aloud, and above all, "Consent is sexy" is, IMO, completely insulting to r*pe victims and survivors. It attaches a very loaded word to another loaded word, and puts that double-barrel shotgun to your temple. Another thought, about the intent of the POV tiktokers: I think what they're doing, despite the rabid amount of cringe, is a net-positive. The first time I was SA, I was 13. I had no idea what consent was, let alone what sex was. For years, until I was literally 18, I believed what happened to me was a "first time" and this was what losing your virginity was like, nevermind that I didn't know that man from anywhere and he was 22. It took 5 long, traumatising years of my life to finally learn what consent was actually supposed to be, and that I had been r*ped as a child. You know why it took so long? Because no one in my life, from my family to the school system, thought it necessary to educate the literal child that I was about consent. So, yeah actually, I think there are young girls, teens and young women watching the POVs who don't know much about consent, who don't know it can be given and taken away 20 times in an evening if needs be, and it will always be ok to do so. So I'm glad they're doing this. I wish it was in a less cringe format, but beggars can't be choosers. I'll take what I can get. I'll tell you this much: I would have preferred to watch 10 cringey POVs and be taught what school failed to, rather than be traumatised for life by two men who decided I was a piece of meat to be used as they pleased. Tara, thank you for your videos. You're such a positive voice in this online space and you always make me feel safe and comfortable in your content. Thank you for talking about the topics you do, and I truly wish you the best. I appreciate you a hell of a lot. Love from France.
hi, just wanted to say, as an also 24 yr old sex repulsed asexual biromantic person, that I very much agree with you on the phrase, and I think you worded it very well too I really like how people are talking about consent more but it's disheartening to think that some people will then take that to mean that a "yes" is in the future just because they are asking for consent for different levels of intimacy, but yeah over all at least it's being talked about I know from a childhood education friend that consent is something you're supposed to learn as a kid in preschool too, as in, consent to another kid playing with one of your toys or being allowed to decline a hug from a relative that a child may barely know, that kind of thing, so yeah another reason why it's weird to me that people try to make consent appealing by saying it's "sexy" when really, it's just a basic human right no matter your age Also, I'm so sorry you went through all that, no one deserves that and I hope you have good friends you can find support with and I wish you the best in the healing process as well
i'm so sorry that happened to you. i hope you know that it wasn't your fault and that you deserve better. i hope you're doing okay. sending all the love ❤❤❤
Proposed alternative : "sexual consent talk isn't inherently a mood killer". Unfortunately I don't think that the intended audience for this message would believe the message because it isn't worded in a catchy/appealing (read: the advertiser's interpretation of the word sexy) way, and if the message can't even be worded in a non-mood-killer way, then they won't believe the consent talks promoted in them could be anything but awkward and buzzkilly. The message itself is still important because *without a way to do it right, people will only continue to do it wrong*
When I say "consent is sexy" I mean that to me prople who go the extra mile to make absolutely sure you're feeling comfortable and not pressured at all are very attractive. Some people might say they're clumsy and awkward but even if it's a bit awkward it's cozy. Sex doesn't have to be perfect and poetic, it just has to be what you feel like in the moment. And I would name that lil red cow "Creamson", like milky cream+the color crimson. Or Creamdaughter if it sounds too masculine!
yeah i always thought "consent is sexy" was meant to counteract some of the toxic ideas that make people feel like they shouldn't ask - like, "oh, if you ask 'can i kiss you' before you kiss her, that shows a lack of confidence, it's not manly, it kills the mood" etc. I think we can say that consent is both required AND sexy. Like--- if someone is consenting to sex, it can be pretty much guaranteed that they'd also be in a sexy mood? It might be weird to say "not murdering people is sexy" but specifically with regards to sexual consent, I think the idea of sexiness is very relevant to the conversation
POV: you're petting a cutie dog Something about that first one skeeved me out. It might just be the text dialogue format, but it kinda read like "ready babe?" "yeah" "you sure?" "yes I'm sure" "WELL YOU DON'T SEEM IT". Some actual acting might help, so you get the sense the other person really is uncomfortable and he's doing the right thing, but to me it felt a bit like POV: you blow your chance with the thirst trap because you're too hesitant. The vibe's too close to manipulative, especially if his audience is a lot younger. It's probably more clumsy than sinister, and these things always feel a bit creepy anyway, but I don't like it!
Yeah I was honestly thinking something similar. Just from the dialogue alone it came off as the woman giving and then confirming consent, only for her bf to just... decide she's wrong. Like, bruh, the whole point of consent is respecting bodily autonomy, which INCLUDES the ability to decide TO DO something as much as to NOT DO something. It would be different if we had body language or tone or something to help clue us in on the actual mood, but all we have are plain words that are saying unambiguously "yes," so it doesn't really work as intended.
Just gonna throw this out there, but you look really healthy, Tara. I dunno if you’re drinking more water or something but you just look comfortable in your skin. Good on ya!
I was actually just thinking about starting a parody tik tok channel where the joke was a guy figures out how much the bare minimum means to women, and then cringely tries to exploit that in his POVs. Looks like reality beat me to the punch.
It's cosy under the rock. Today I peeked out from under it and saw a bunch of tiktoks of teens (most likely) faking disorders. Now I'm back under my rock for good .. I think.
These toks are really refreshing tbh. Tween/mid-teen girls actually don't *typically* have a strong framework of what their consent actually is either. like yes totally, they likely have a better grasp on it than boys (im using the binary in all of this ust for simplicity's sake), but to have an attractive young man convey that you should be able to say no AND not feel guilty about it, is very important. That second piece, though logically I knew it, didn't really sink in for me and most of my female friends until my early 20s. In my teens, I didn't see/hear ANY dudes in media being so clear about the right to both say no AND not feel bad. I heard it from some women in media, and SOME ppl in my life at most so it took that much longer to sink in. Are these guys showing the bare minimum someone should expect in intimacy? um absolutely. Do teen girls have that right to consent so clearly communicated FROM someone "famous" who is the type of person they would want to have "a relationship" with? um no. I just... i think its really good that these boys are doing this type of stuff. man... these dudes might be some of the first ppl who can reach some girls with this topic and they are informing them (in their own cringe way) of their rights. None of the criticisms ive heard against this type of content (at least the examples of this content) create more value towards tangibly shifting in the way our culture understands consent than the content itself actually does.
I like the name Cheryl for the plush cow bc you could call her cherry as a nickname and she is also cherry colored, also the comment section seems to agree that a sweet old lady name fits her best. Also, please give the cow that writes these wonderful videos my regards!
Truly this is my only criticism of your humor: when you do 'hot' ironically, it's usually kind of hot. That's the only joke that doesn't land. That's what I call a backhanded insult, and it's a registered trademark of the show.
@@kimbooley90 There's been a few sarcastic thirst trap pictures that are appealing for one reason or another. The very beginning of the video, not so much, but I wonder if people who like the content she's mocking would like it?? If she turned it down barely a notch I think they'd buy it and start calling her Daddy 🤣
Hello little subscriptions! I know a lot of you are going to want to have a look at my TikTok, but I prefer to keep my professional life and personal life separate. Thank you all for understanding! Have a wonderful day, and I hope you enjoyed the video!
Tossing a name into the hat: Claret/Clare. The little cow is the same color as my dearly departed hound of the same name, and it looks like it hasn't been suggested yet!
I hope that the next evolution of these thirst trap POVs is to just make consent a part of the script, rather than the main focus. There are already people (including here on YT) that do a good job of emphasizing consent in their scripts without crossing over into cringe. Also, that cow deserves to be named Strawberry
I ALMOST FORGOT! This is where I got the cow plushie: www.etsy.com/uk/shop/CowelyCrochet
It wasn't gifted or anything. I just saw it on instagram and thought "yeah, I need one of those" 😂 🐮 🍒
Strudel, name her Strudel
Olive or Olivia are good names
Pickle
Mooge! Like marge but mooge
@@Sentientmatter8 i was just going to say Strawberry, but i think Her Bovine Majesty Strawberry Strudel would be excellent
the 'boyfriend gets arrested' ones are so funny to me because i can't even imagine one of my friends coming to me like 'hey can you push me against this wall, i'm making a boyfriend pov'
pov your friend invites you over to help with his POV videos, and you realize the POV is U
I'm not sure I will ever be the same after watching that.
XDDD it's so great
it almost looks like he's winking, but actually he's just wincing in pain due to the excessive force being used by the cop arresting him
* record scratch * “hey, that’s me against the wall. You might wonder how I got here. Well my life is a little crazy.”
what the hell that even is about....
kinda funny (read: sad) that "yeah girl, imma treat you like a human being with boundaries" is being sold as a sexy fantasy
Also it is so often portrayed in these fantasies as that when they respect consent the girl suddenly does want to hook up. As if a basic sign of respect is enough to get us going.
Given the absolutely historic culture of non-con fantasies, this is actually an improvement. It took 10,000 years of recorded history, guys. We finally did it.
It's like an old tumblr joke that girls told that men started taking too seriously and in the wrong way lol
@@kbeemer7813 'I think it's cool that women can vote, sho bobs pls'
I mean its better than 365 days and twilight
Tara: "Made for teenage girls, i.e. you."
Me, a 35 year old woman: "Should I...not be here?"
I think she said "made for teenage girls as in youths"
should I be here either???
You possibly know or are related to a teenager. If you befriend one some day, this information can help you save a life. I'm related to at least one, that I'm aware of.
Edit: confirmed 👌, we are related, says so on her birth certificate. Also she looks like her father and I had a baby and his name is on there too......wonder how many other teenagers I know.
i have closed captions on, and she does say "teenage girls - as in youths" you should be here. you should be everywhere
she probably meant you as in "the viewer of the tiktok pov thing"
“Consent is a basic human right.”
I’m literally printing that on flyers and putting them everywhere. EVERYONE NEEDS TO HEAR THAT STATEMENT
How's the campaign going? Do we still need to worry about consent and people seemingly not understanding it anymore? Or do you need more flyers? Hm...well, seeing how things are currently going I'm going to guess you need more flyers.
I donnow, I thought the "are you sure, you don't seem really into it, let's go get frozen lemonade" one was kinda wholesome. I like that it's being modelled that yes doesn't always mean yes, and consent should be enthusiastic, and there are other options to still spend time together, like getting lemonade. The Chick Fil A was pretty cringe, but I've heard the food is considered pretty good, and maybe it's the only place open late at night where he is?
I vote to name the cow either Milldred or Gertrude or something along those lines. Animals with old lady names are just funny to me.
What about Moorgaret? Or Moorgana? Or Cowssandra?
Yes I'm editing this comments because a new name comes in my mind
Millie Mills
Gertie Gerts
My dog is named Olga lmao
what about Millicent!
I have a cat named Geraldine
Consent povs seem to be good in the sense that they raise awareness and gives people an idea of what could be good or bad on a situation, however, I can't help but think these are done in the spirit of "look at me! I'm so great! Give me bonus points for doing the bare minimum!"
right on! the virtue signaling drives me nuts
Yeah it’s definitely a mixed bag! On one hand it feels very performative. At the end of the day, though, I like to think that they’re doing more good than harm. Maybe that’s a little optimistic of me 🥴
The word you’re looking for is “grandstanding” and I’m ready to throw myself down a well because it’s the number one internet currency.
That’s how I feel too. I’m sure it is virtue signaling, but like you said: it could have a good impact. Maybe young girls will be “pulled in” by the attractive guy but ultimately come out being able to better identify a bad situation (hopefully). I wish that as a young teenager I was better able to identify situations that were nonconsensual (I.e pressuring/when drugs are involved for example) but those situations were so normalized for me that I wasn’t able to identify them as r*pe
"This guy doesn't rape women? Wow, I'm swooning. What a sexy gentleman. He's perfect."
Even if they are a little cringe, so many of the thirst trap and romance tropes in general are riddled with consent issues( all the romanticization of this toxic dude whose domineering and takes what’s “his”) so i think these consent TikTok’s could help shift the norm a bit to a more healthy view on things, which would be an improvement
Yeah. They’re a little confused, but they got the spirit.
i think the exact same, it's goofy but the object is noble given the medium they choose
Cringing in the right direction
I agree. I think it's important for the young, female audience to understand that they don't _have_ to consent, that it's possible to withdraw consent, and that's okay.
are you the real selena gomez
POV: You're me gouging my eyes out
Imo, consent also (!!! not exclusively) needs to be taught in a way that frames it outside of sex and sexual activity.
"No means no" extends to so much!! Like no, I don't want to hug my creepy relative. No, I don't want to be tickled,, etc.!
I can think of going to the dentist for a filling and being asked if I'm in pain and if they can continue; that's consent!
This is so fucking true and definitely needs to be discussed more omg. I think because sex is seen as more vulnerable than other kinds of contact it’s seen as more serious, but boundaries being breached in any context is bad and should have just as much pushback. I’m autistic and I can’t stress enough how much people ignoring my discomfort and clear boundaries as a child fucked me up as an adult. That shits no joke!
"You can't take your girlfriend to Chic-Fil-A, *what if she's gay* " is THE funniest Tara line change my mind
Omg you are so right I literally lost it at that one
I laughed out loud at that part too
I don't get the joke but I am European and I don't know what chick fil a is, I mean I googled it and it is restaurant simmilar to McDonald but I still dont understand?? 🤨
Once while i was visiting my girlfriend in Ireland, one of her friends started drunkenly listing all her favourite breeds of cow to me while we were just hanging in a field by the pub. She clotured her list with "I fucking love cows" in a North Meath accent. My conclusion to this story is that the cow should be named Caoimhe.
That is honestly so cute and I want the cow to be named that so bad
This is absolutely my vote too. What's beautiful name.
Omg i love that
I think it ruins the Gaelic pronunciation rules but surely it should be Cowmhe (Cowva instead of Keeva)
Ah, the Irish
The cow should be named either Mabel, Harriett, Nyarlathotep the Crawling Chaos, or Annabelle.
Annabelle sounds good...
Sjekfoz nyarlathotep ✨✨
Crawling chaos is a pretty cute name :)
Oooh I love Mabel!
I vote for Nyarlathotep the Crawling Chaos
The thing about consent being sexy is that when consent has been taboo for so long, it CAN feel as sexy as any other dirty talk. But doesn’t mean that it should be sexy- because it should have never been taboo in the first place.
Exactly! I understand why people are against that phrase, I mean, consent is a basic human right, but calling it sexy can remove it from the 'mood killer' status that people have so lovingly put it in and personally, I like that.
that "cool guys get conscent" tiktok has big 90's era psa energy to me and I absolutely love it, might actually download tiktok just to watch more of that person's stuff
honestly, i'm just scared people are going to start thinking that asking for consent is cringe because this is how they see it represented
it’s already pretty common to think that it “kills the mood/breaks the rhythm” so i don’t think this could make it worse tbf
Going to start? Oh it’s been like that.
Its something they already make fun of in the manosphere. "Is this guy bothering you" is a meme they use to make fun of "beta losers"that defend women.
@@donalddarko5807 holy shit men are so scary
imo a lot of the consent povs focus too heavily on the idea that "no means no." while yes, "no means no" is absolutely a true and important statement, there are so many more ways that someone can say "no" and by overwhelmingly focusing on the "no means no" idea, it gives the impression that if the person doesn't explicitly say "no" or "i don't want to," they're giving consent. silence, intoxication, someone pulling away, etc. isn't consent either and i feel those are the issues that are the most ignored in real life too. idk the whole cringe-element aside, i feel like the povs would at least seem less performative if they weren't so surface-level/even more basic than consent 101.
In the first one the partner says that they want to, and the guy picks up the clues, that they don't.
consent is a positive claim and must be proven
it's impossible to prove a negative
absence of consent cannot be proven
yet the law ignores this
coercion also vitiates consent
vitiation
@@Smettb00 Yeah, the second one also is not a direct no. 'Would you stop loving me (or something similar) if I say no?', while it does mean no, don't clearly say 'no'.
I have a close friend who was once hanging out with her weed dealer and he started touching her and even said, "That's not a 'no'," at one point as an excuse to go further. She didn't want it or anything, but she was so depressed at that point in her life that she just didn't have the will to do anything and almost let it happen. She did eventually remove his hand and leave, but for a while, she had cause for concern, considering she knew he had a knife on him and knew where she lived. It took a while to help her find some sense of self-worth and she's in a better place now, but there are probably a lot of women and girls in similar situations and it's depressing to think about. Every time I remember that guy's words, I just wish I could get my hands on him, but I also remember that there are a lot of guys out there who say things like that and get away with it.
My main beef with those consent POVs is that ultimately the guys who make them are still doing the creepy thing where they sell an image of themselves as a love interest to a bunch of teenagers. They're not educating others about consent so much as they're trying to fulfill a fantasy that many people have of being with a partner who respects their boundaries, and they're doing it to a vulnerable audience, and to me that's just really weird and unhealthy.
While I agree that this is something that can and likely does occur, I don't think its fair to demonize and entire group of people for the things that some individuals do. You, nor I, are able to determine what someone's true intentions are. Some of the people making these POV's are incredibly young and may genuinely want to share a positive message and I don't think treating them all like creeps is fair
@@madder9166 wow thank you I never thought about it this way before
pederasty is still pederasty aimed at minor girls
I am just gonna say it! The getting "arrested" POV, 9/10 times, they look like they are getting it on with the cop while looking dead into your eyes. It is flipping disgusting. Deserves a solid restraining order out of 10.
I worked in Retail for years, and of course, that means standing behind a counter facing the public for long periods of time. There were some customers I served for years who likely never saw the lower part of my body that was behind the counter. So the "strangeness" of Tara having lower limbs made perfect sense to me.
Honestly I forgot about her remark at the beginning of the video and I wondered where this comment was going for a sec lol
I do understand why people are pushing back on the phrase "consent is sexy," but I personally like it because (in my opinion) it was never meant to be like, a common phrase. To me it's just dismissing people that won't ask for consent because they think it """ruins the mood.""" Consent is absolutely a fundamental human right, but it doesn't """ruin the mood"""" like some people insist it does
I would agree, and also add that a lot of prevalent sexual fantasies and porn revolve around a man dominating a woman and "taking what's his." Not that people aren't allowed to have these fantasies and enjoy them, but I always felt like "consent is sexy" was about pushing back on that a little bit and trying to change the dominant cultural narrative about sex into something more positive.
@@Shibouu59 Yeah, I can definitely see that too. You're right
@@Shibouu59 taking what's his is a conjugal right - and they ain't married
Scarlett Cowhansson? : ) Your "dude" voice is absolutely amazing, and almost exactly the one I've been using to mock "dudes" since I was fifteen (early 80s). My best friend and I actually made a "radio show" in which we performed a drama called "Dirt-head A-go-go" and our dude voices and phrases were so epic we had to constantly stop the recording so we could laugh for extended periods of time. [sigh, I miss those days] Thanks for your take on this issue, and for bringing back priceless memories.
Yeah I vote this one
Saying epic is kind of dude of you but ok
@@jdt8983 the bacon guys were inspired by Blue and her friend's show
Dirt-head a go go is a great name lol. I wish I could hear some if the show!
@@haleymist09 My friend, who owned the original cassette tape, had it converted and burned onto a cd. Perhaps I can use that as my next self-taught editing tutorial. : )
I think that the consent POVs is a net positive. They give examples of a good reaction to being told no, so if later in life if that viewer tells someone no and they get a toxic reaction, then they would know that something is off. I think that many young women feel that they need to give into their partner's expectation of them when they don't want to. Being exposed to a respectful representation of what should happen when you don't give consent will be helpful in the long run.
they're expected to act like a wife with conjugal duties when they aren't married
and the men are trying to demand this
Thank you for being the FIRST person I’ve seen covering POV to actually point out that it’s like HALF of the time completely WRONG! Ah it pisses me off so much and and it pissed me off more that it seems like no one was mentioning it and there was so much catharsis hearing you say it XD
I'm so sorry for the lack of a subscription pet shoutout in this video, it won't happen again. Please forgive me 😭
NO WONDER SOMETHING FELT MISSING
that's why I felt empty when it ended
Oh no, did someone get their feewings hurt?
Kuhlein means cute cow in Austria
I literally did not notice. I was too busy naming the plush cow.
I never thought I, a lesbian would come up to bat for floppy-hair-boy-tiktokkers, but I don't agree that young women don't need to see romanticized depictions of this kind of healthy non-creepy behavior. I had friends in high school who didn't realize that they'd been sexually assaulted by a boyfriend until months or years later, because we live in a FUCKED culture and boundaries between couples aren't talked about nearly as much as stranger-at-a-party situations. It IS bleak out here!!!
Think about it for a second: the idea that you could just stop and get fries instead of continuing has appeared in..................... what media? Like, seriously, name a piece of romantic media that depicts a couple stopping because one person doesn't feel like it, and it's not treated as a big deal or a sign of the relationship failing. CRICKETS!! So while these POV tiktoks are doing the bare minimum, mainstream TV shows like You are still having girls swoon over literal stalker-murderers. Obviously I'd prefer if the pro-consent message were in Dune 2 starring Timothee Chalamet for maximum audience reach, but this is fine too. It might be low-brow or cringe but at least it's romanticizing healthy behavior for once!!!! Like, maybe we're raising the bar from a subterranean location miles beneath the earth's crust up to THE GROUND, but at least we're raising the bar!!
I agree, but can't not comment to point out that "You" is literally about the overlap between "classic romantic" tropes and dangerous controlling violent behaviors. I know that that's irrelevant to your point tho, and it's true that that's happened, even if it's the opposite of the show's intention.
@@Suzanne4415 i have tendency to like fucked-up fictional characters since my first anime.
But in You, everytime single time, i wished he would die instead of his victim.
I literally wanted someone to kill him and take up the "protagonist" role.
Well said. That was a gem of a response, Ruby. ☺
Yup. I had a friend in high school who told his boyfriend twice to stop doing a certain act, and the boyfriend just kept going. I had to remind my friend multiple times that that is the textbook definition of SA. My friend was 14 and the BF was 17. If my friend had had a better education, then maybe it wouldn't have happened. Or maybe it would only have happened once. Or maybe they wouldn't have stayed together for another 3 months until the older person broke up with my friend. And maybe my friend wouldn't have been completely wrecked emotionally for at least the next year.
And yes, if I ever see that asshole again, I plan to punch him into next week. Fuck him.
Floppy hair tiktokers is the best way to describe those boys lmfao
One Direction imagines on Tumblr walked so tiktok POVs could run
Quote of the Day: “You can’t take your chick to Chick-Fil-A. What if she’s gay?”
💀💀💀
@@cherrymilkk Cherrymilk would be a good name for the little cow
I see you everywhere on TH-cam lol
@Edwina Thank you! Happy to see you here!
@@gale_poot Am I THAT conspicuous? (It’s a rhetorical question of course I am)
POV:s should be classified as a form of torture. The cringe can cause physical pain.
I hate it SO MUCH that I exist in the timeline where consent POVs are thing. I hate it here 😭 give me the microwave food from spy kids instead 😩
Yes! Most relatable comment lol I think about that microwave constantly!
Omg I wanted microwave McDonald's so bad as a kid. I thought those were real and I wanted it so bad.
It definitely sucks being here in the pre-40k timeline, yeah...
That scene was so cool!
@@jingbot1071 40k as in...warhammer?
The problem with consent POVs is that, by taking a good message and putting it in a cringe format, it can make that message seem cringe, which is definitely not what you want with a message as important as consent. The anti-smoking ad campaigns in the U.S have been struggling with this for decades and only now are starting to get it right.
honestly this would go better by having a girl just do bare minimum movements like looking away looking akward or even mumbling anything but these ones to me are just uncomfortable to watch, maybe they work better for women I don't know.
Yeah but does their audience find it cringy? Judging by the number of followers these guys have, maybe it works for their viewers?
Perfect example with ads!!
you should name that cutie “ciliegina” that means little cherry in Italian, but Gina is also a name :) love it 🍒🍒
omg I love that!
that’s so cute!
super cute
Pronunciation "cheel - ye - gee - nah" if it helps :)
this is SO cute
Tbh even if those tiktokers are doing this “educational” stuff only for the approval of their own viewership (virtue signaling, if I may), isn’t it still good that those opinions are being openly voiced? I think we should encourage more people to talk about consent, in any space, to all audiences.
Also, sure, probably MOST girl already know about the importance of consent, but I’m sure at least some, who grew up in conservative households, always been told to “dress modestly or they’re ‘asking for it’”, might have internalized misogyny and those TikTok might help them normalize some feminist ideas in their eyes.
I think I found my point along the way: those tiktoks are not doing something revolutionary, but they ARE helping to normalize and further spread conversations about consent, and I believe we should celebrate it.
i feel that this is sort of the opposite of normalizing. they're trying to show that they are special because they respect consent. the whole point of a thirst trap is to show an idealistic fantasy that's better than reality because why would they get views otherwise. it seems like it's popular to comment stuff like "OMG if only more men were like you." that gives the opportunity for other men to say that "yeah i don't do all that but I'm just normal, you need need more realistic standards, only a few lucky people get respectful boyfriends." we laugh at people who want a white knight or prince who will swoop in and save them from anything, this is giving off the same vibe.
i could listen to this girl talk about the vacuum cleaner industry for an hour straight and it'd still be the highlight of my day
"It is really freakin' weird to make thirst traps for your underage fans?" I don't have an answer for that, but the music industry has been making a living that way for decades. See pop princesses, boy bands, a huge number of music videos, and all of kpop.
I suggest naming the cute cow Strawberry! Because I love naming stuffed animals after food
I second this
I was thinking the exact same!🍓 The cow just reminded me of one sooo..
XD I love that shes a Cherry Cow & u went with strawberry
BEEG agree on the giving stuffed animals food names. My pink orca plush is named Cupcake! 💖🧁💖
Yesssssss plsssss
I think this is a great idea. Think about it: even in the best case scenario, your average 13 y/o girl knows they have a right to say no, but they have no idea what that actually *looks* like, or how it *should* be responded to. Setting up an ideal to aspire to, the way we all used to aspire to rom-coms that were basically centred on steamrollering boundaries, might actually be more informative than a dry lecture - which they probably aren't getting either, since consent education is woefully poor. Letting girls know what it should look like makes it much easier to pinpoint when a situation has gone wrong; often, post SA, there's still a feeling of uncertainty that the assailant's actions were wrong, in part because of a lack of knowledge.
Is it depressing to see the lowest of bars being held up as an aspiration? Yes. But it's also an honest reflection of how consent conversations more often play out, especially amongst younger people who maybe don't have the confidence to enforce their boundaries.
Consent might not be sexy, but we're at a point where it still needs selling. Marketing consent as hot and aspirational might be imperfect, but it's so much better than just expecting to follow consent rules without education or incentive - because in reality, many people just don't.
Just wanted to throw in my 2 cents on “consent is sexy”. I’ve known a lot of guys that find asking for explicit consent to be awkward or embarrassing.
Especially in High School I heard dudes say things like “but won’t asking for consent just kinda kill the mood?”
I feel like the whole idea behind “consent is sexy” is to reframe and emphasize the fact that you can very easily discuss consent and boundaries without killing the mood.
POVs are either cringe asf, or wholesome like Ive seen some wholesome POVs but mostly they are just not it
Cowrolina must be the name of the cow. It has pretty much the same pronounce as the name Carolina, wich means "sweet lady" or "lady of the people".
It is also the name of my friend and i wanna see their reaction if they found out a glamorous cow like her was named after them.
As a Carolina I’m already upset “Carrie” Bradshaw is named Caroline.
As a Carolina I’m already upset “Carrie” Bradshaw is named Caroline.
This has me thinking of the song by Melanic C.
i just started absolutely cry laughing at "you cant take your gf to chick-fil-a. what if shes gay?" bc when i was 15 i had a bf and our first date involved chick-fil-a before watching a movie. one year later realized i'm a lesbian
I respect Tara by liking & subscribing.
Same
Same
7:38 that cracked me up. You sounded like Danny from The Shining. :D
that sweet little cow is absolutely an Agatha. I see it in their aura 🥺
I like how you mentioned the "consent is sexy" phrase because whenever I hear it, it's a requirement. I think they mean making sure your partner is comfortable with whatever you're doing it in a sensual foreplay kind of way if that makes sense. But consent itself is not the part that makes it sexy. I understand the message but I just think it's best to remind people that it's always a requirement
Name her Cheryl because she looks like a cherry and those two words are spelled similarly🐄🍒
Nous chérie ❤️🍒
I'm with this👏👏👏
I had a boss named Cheryl with a hard "ch." Seems like a good compromise!
The cute cow should be called Blossom since she’s cherry themed
My worry is that these are so bad that the message becomes "asking for consent is cringe." I don't know if that is the case, but it's a worry.
Tara has an Irish accent like my wife's. Perfectly innocuous English accent, and the BOOM, the letter "r" appears
Jophiel.
Jophiel was a Biblical archangel whose name translates to "divine beauty". It was also the name of my mother's tiny 17 year old cat, who passed away a few days ago in the car on the way to her final vet appointment.
I think Jophiel would be a lovely name for this darling ❤
As an asexual person, I'm normally triggered on consent talks in general, which is crazy. But people tend to go on and talk about it as "how far should you go to get a yes" whne the main thing should be "no is no, and if the person is just playing hard they should go to therapy and learn to be more direct in their communications"
the thing is some people will not just say no they will do more indirect actions and people need to understand that Emotional Intelligence is important the idea of reliancing hey this person seems uncomfortable are you ok.
Milkshake could be a cute name for this adorable strawberry cow
Agreed
that cow looks like a Sherry to me idk why (not sure if it's w one -r or two)
These make me so uncomfortable I can't even express.
Your comments on all of them having floppy hair and doing thirst traps for teenage girls made me realise: they're basically modern boys band members. The music industry has spent decades selling "young hot but sweet, sexy but not dangerous" guys to teenagers (if you go the cynical way, that's basically Bo Burnham's "Repeat Stuff"), and whether consciously or not, they are building a similar brand. In that sense, the focus put on consent reinforces this image for them. This might be genuine or cynical, but they tap into a well-tested demographic.
Damn I didn't know Tara was irish, I thought she was english. Name your little red cow Anna Livia, like the character from James Joyce, the master of POV Tik Toks
Me neither! And I heard the accent for the first time after she said it
I think she lives in England, but grew up in Ireland? Something like that. She explained it in a community post when people were hating on her "changing her accent", when it was just from visiting family.
@@Rhaifha I'm new to the Tara Mooknee Cinematic Universe so thanks for sharing on the lore!
Tara you are looking absolutely divine today. Hair, nails, outfit, skin, everything is completely on point. you go girl 👑
a youtuber calling any other social media "hell" is hilarious. comedy gold
I think girls need to learn abt consent for their own sake, not even violating others’ consent. They often don’t know what healthy communication looks like
i get where you (and the article) is coming from and i don't think they're doing it to educate other men since (as you pointed out) they probably won't see the tiktoks and there is a good chance their just doing it to get engagement/ compliments from their audience, but also i think it might be good for teenage girls to see that they deserve to be treated well. like yeah the bar is in hell and consent should be a given and telling someone you don't wanna hook up shouldn't be nerve wrecking, but as an insecure teenager it can be and i think some good can come from girls seeing that that's how a guy should respond and if he doesn't there's something wrong with him and not with her (even though, again, i wish it wasn't like that)
I completely agree. Teen girls need this talk just as much as the boys do and I mean…let’s not forget how Twilight made girls think possessiveness and jealousy is love and affection. If “hot guys” are the ones selling the consent-is-good image-then at least girls can fantasize about guys like that and hopefully end up in relationships that AREN’T Twilight-esque
My thoughts exactly. It's good for teenage girls to get the message that a hot guy should respect your boundaries. When I was that age, all the movies were about boys trying to get girls drunk and r*pe them. Yes the bar is on the floor but at least these guys are clearing it.
Amen! It’s not perfect, but it’s definitely a step in the right direction
Personally, I think healthy stuff like we see in these POVs should be romanticised more. Yes, it's cringe, yes it's a basic hot guy doing the bare minimum but at least girls are fantasizing about being treated with respect instead of possessiveness and jealousy.
"consent is sexy" is uhhh...
I do love it when someone is good about asking consent, checking in, taking "no's" etc..
If they're verbal about it and use words more than body language (seriously: use your words). Makes me feel super seen&heard, safe, and respected - that stuff. That's kind of sexy.
Mootiful name suggestions: Mootilda, Garnet, Moolissa, Milky Bar, Muriel or Moona-Lisa
If you click the "translate to English" at the bottom of your comment it changes "Mootilda" to "Mootissa". no clue why. But I kind of like Mootissa
Mootissa Moomee
Mooriel. You missed that opportunity.
@@VegemiteQueen1 I was thinking that but my dyslexic brain found it a minefield lol
Tara, you're looking bloody fit in this one!
As for the topic: you said it best at the end "povs are cringe and they should be illegal". A great quote, one for the ages.
my fave pov videos are the ones where youre lying on their lap and looking up at the double chin
Cute name suggestion! Raspberry! Since she's small, red, sweet and kinda looks like one because of the knitting.
This is what I need to get me through the impossibly hard and irrelevant anatomy test I've got to do tonight, tysm ☺️ all my love to you and the cow ❤️😘
The problem that I have with these thirst trap dudes is absolutely not the message they're supposedly trying to send, but imo they're using "social issues" as a thin veneer to show off their attractive faces to a young and impressionable audience.... They are indeed cringe. Thanks for sharing it with us Tara!
POVs suffer from the same issue that 2nd person narration does in writing - it places the viewer/reader in situations where they are essentially being told/shown what happens to them without autonomy and with very pointed assumptions about how they will respond - they are literally anti-consent in their format
0:33 - tHE COW TATTOO 😭 I love your commitment to cows, this is my favorite quirk of this channel
POVs are what I expect a modern twist on the Clockwork Orange torture scene to look like. God help us all 🙏
A couple of thoughts from a 24-yo asexual (tw: non-graphic discussion of SA and CSA) who was r*ped twice in their life: consent isn't sexy. I've always hated this phrase, not because of what its intended message is, but because of the implications. Consent is sexy is gross, because nothing is sexy for me. If consent is de facto sexy, then I guess because I'm ace, I don't have access to consent? Consent isn't for me? Is that it?
Consent isn't just about whether or not your ready to have sex in this particular instance. I'm never ready to have sex, frankly, it repulses me. But that means it's also very much consent to ask me if I'm interested, and to respect that my 'No' doesn't mean 'maybe later', but 'absolutely never'.
I've experience, twice, the most traumatic thing that could ever happen to me. But the second time in particular relates very well to what the video is about. I was 21, and I had just shared with a guy I was semi-recently friends with that today was the anniversary of me being S.A. He was very sympathetic, and even shared his own experience with non-consensual groping by his ex gf. So I was pretty sure we were on the same page, you know? I was kinda into him, but hadn't mentioned yet that I was ace because I wasn't even sure I wanted anything to happen with him, and not to stereotype, but I know from experience being biromantic, that men are a lot less okay with dating an ace person than women or nb ppl are. We shared a few kisses, but I told him quickly I wasn't very comfortable with kisses because of trauma linked to that first S.A. and he eventually relented, though obviously not being pleased.
Well I didn't need to wonder for long because the next night, we shared a bed for lack of space at the music fest we were, and he assaulted me.
That man knew I had been r*ped as child, it was the day after the anniversary of that event, I had expressed on multiple occasions that I wasn't consenting to kissing because of trauma, then repeatedly expressed loudly my total lack of consent during that next night. Consent was never the point. He never had it, and there was nothing sexy about that. Calling consent sexy strips asexual relationships and partners from the security of giving or retracting consent, it undermines consent in platonic relationships where physical touch or intimacy might very much need to be consented to aloud, and above all, "Consent is sexy" is, IMO, completely insulting to r*pe victims and survivors. It attaches a very loaded word to another loaded word, and puts that double-barrel shotgun to your temple.
Another thought, about the intent of the POV tiktokers: I think what they're doing, despite the rabid amount of cringe, is a net-positive. The first time I was SA, I was 13. I had no idea what consent was, let alone what sex was. For years, until I was literally 18, I believed what happened to me was a "first time" and this was what losing your virginity was like, nevermind that I didn't know that man from anywhere and he was 22. It took 5 long, traumatising years of my life to finally learn what consent was actually supposed to be, and that I had been r*ped as a child. You know why it took so long? Because no one in my life, from my family to the school system, thought it necessary to educate the literal child that I was about consent. So, yeah actually, I think there are young girls, teens and young women watching the POVs who don't know much about consent, who don't know it can be given and taken away 20 times in an evening if needs be, and it will always be ok to do so. So I'm glad they're doing this. I wish it was in a less cringe format, but beggars can't be choosers. I'll take what I can get.
I'll tell you this much: I would have preferred to watch 10 cringey POVs and be taught what school failed to, rather than be traumatised for life by two men who decided I was a piece of meat to be used as they pleased.
Tara, thank you for your videos. You're such a positive voice in this online space and you always make me feel safe and comfortable in your content. Thank you for talking about the topics you do, and I truly wish you the best. I appreciate you a hell of a lot. Love from France.
I'm so sorry that happend to you.
hi, just wanted to say, as an also 24 yr old sex repulsed asexual biromantic person, that I very much agree with you on the phrase, and I think you worded it very well too
I really like how people are talking about consent more but it's disheartening to think that some people will then take that to mean that a "yes" is in the future just because they are asking for consent for different levels of intimacy, but yeah over all at least it's being talked about
I know from a childhood education friend that consent is something you're supposed to learn as a kid in preschool too, as in, consent to another kid playing with one of your toys or being allowed to decline a hug from a relative that a child may barely know, that kind of thing, so yeah another reason why it's weird to me that people try to make consent appealing by saying it's "sexy" when really, it's just a basic human right no matter your age
Also, I'm so sorry you went through all that, no one deserves that and I hope you have good friends you can find support with and I wish you the best in the healing process as well
i'm so sorry that happened to you. i hope you know that it wasn't your fault and that you deserve better. i hope you're doing okay. sending all the love ❤❤❤
Proposed alternative : "sexual consent talk isn't inherently a mood killer". Unfortunately I don't think that the intended audience for this message would believe the message because it isn't worded in a catchy/appealing (read: the advertiser's interpretation of the word sexy) way, and if the message can't even be worded in a non-mood-killer way, then they won't believe the consent talks promoted in them could be anything but awkward and buzzkilly.
The message itself is still important because *without a way to do it right, people will only continue to do it wrong*
Sending my love to you as a fellow biromantic asexual ❤
When I say "consent is sexy" I mean that to me prople who go the extra mile to make absolutely sure you're feeling comfortable and not pressured at all are very attractive. Some people might say they're clumsy and awkward but even if it's a bit awkward it's cozy. Sex doesn't have to be perfect and poetic, it just has to be what you feel like in the moment.
And I would name that lil red cow "Creamson", like milky cream+the color crimson.
Or Creamdaughter if it sounds too masculine!
yeah i always thought "consent is sexy" was meant to counteract some of the toxic ideas that make people feel like they shouldn't ask - like, "oh, if you ask 'can i kiss you' before you kiss her, that shows a lack of confidence, it's not manly, it kills the mood" etc. I think we can say that consent is both required AND sexy. Like--- if someone is consenting to sex, it can be pretty much guaranteed that they'd also be in a sexy mood? It might be weird to say "not murdering people is sexy" but specifically with regards to sexual consent, I think the idea of sexiness is very relevant to the conversation
I'm in love with those cow boots 👀
You're the only one I've seen point out that they aren't actually POVs and I feel SO VALIDATED
Not sure if it's already too late, but the little strawberry cow looks like a Marnie:3
This is nightmare fuel *follows Tara on Tik Tok*
0:43 Since the Plushie is red, I thought of Ruby, Rufus or Lucille Ball. Moo-fus and Moo-cille are also suggestions.
Yeah, I vote Roobie, tobe!
POV: you're petting a cutie dog
Something about that first one skeeved me out. It might just be the text dialogue format, but it kinda read like "ready babe?" "yeah" "you sure?" "yes I'm sure" "WELL YOU DON'T SEEM IT". Some actual acting might help, so you get the sense the other person really is uncomfortable and he's doing the right thing, but to me it felt a bit like POV: you blow your chance with the thirst trap because you're too hesitant. The vibe's too close to manipulative, especially if his audience is a lot younger. It's probably more clumsy than sinister, and these things always feel a bit creepy anyway, but I don't like it!
Yeah I was honestly thinking something similar. Just from the dialogue alone it came off as the woman giving and then confirming consent, only for her bf to just... decide she's wrong. Like, bruh, the whole point of consent is respecting bodily autonomy, which INCLUDES the ability to decide TO DO something as much as to NOT DO something. It would be different if we had body language or tone or something to help clue us in on the actual mood, but all we have are plain words that are saying unambiguously "yes," so it doesn't really work as intended.
POVs are basically live fanfiction
Cow name suggestion, as she is a lovely red cow - Baby Belle
Just gonna throw this out there, but you look really healthy, Tara. I dunno if you’re drinking more water or something but you just look comfortable in your skin. Good on ya!
I was actually just thinking about starting a parody tik tok channel where the joke was a guy figures out how much the bare minimum means to women, and then cringely tries to exploit that in his POVs. Looks like reality beat me to the punch.
It's cosy under the rock. Today I peeked out from under it and saw a bunch of tiktoks of teens (most likely) faking disorders. Now I'm back under my rock for good .. I think.
Plushie name ideas:
"Moo Matriarch"
"Bethany Bovine"
Thas all I got :(
Love your channel tho!
These toks are really refreshing tbh. Tween/mid-teen girls actually don't *typically* have a strong framework of what their consent actually is either. like yes totally, they likely have a better grasp on it than boys (im using the binary in all of this ust for simplicity's sake), but to have an attractive young man convey that you should be able to say no AND not feel guilty about it, is very important. That second piece, though logically I knew it, didn't really sink in for me and most of my female friends until my early 20s. In my teens, I didn't see/hear ANY dudes in media being so clear about the right to both say no AND not feel bad. I heard it from some women in media, and SOME ppl in my life at most so it took that much longer to sink in. Are these guys showing the bare minimum someone should expect in intimacy? um absolutely. Do teen girls have that right to consent so clearly communicated FROM someone "famous" who is the type of person they would want to have "a relationship" with? um no. I just... i think its really good that these boys are doing this type of stuff. man... these dudes might be some of the first ppl who can reach some girls with this topic and they are informing them (in their own cringe way) of their rights. None of the criticisms ive heard against this type of content (at least the examples of this content) create more value towards tangibly shifting in the way our culture understands consent than the content itself actually does.
I like the name Cheryl for the plush cow bc you could call her cherry as a nickname and she is also cherry colored, also the comment section seems to agree that a sweet old lady name fits her best. Also, please give the cow that writes these wonderful videos my regards!
Missed the chance to say:
"Once you get honey
You'll be saving so much money"
Truly this is my only criticism of your humor: when you do 'hot' ironically, it's usually kind of hot. That's the only joke that doesn't land.
That's what I call a backhanded insult, and it's a registered trademark of the show.
What, you mean at the bit at the start? I wouldn't say she looked hot doing it. Seemed to land for me.
@@kimbooley90 There's been a few sarcastic thirst trap pictures that are appealing for one reason or another. The very beginning of the video, not so much, but I wonder if people who like the content she's mocking would like it?? If she turned it down barely a notch I think they'd buy it and start calling her Daddy 🤣
@Nice Material yeah, come to think of it you may have a point there.
okay the way your gap looked when you did that circular filter in the intro while crying is the best thing ever
I think Strawberry or Berry would be very cute. Or maybe Velvet since she looks like her yarn is velvety and she’s red velvet colored!
Hello little subscriptions!
I know a lot of you are going to want to have a look at my TikTok, but I prefer to keep my professional life and personal life separate.
Thank you all for understanding!
Have a wonderful day, and I hope you enjoyed the video!
Tossing a name into the hat: Claret/Clare. The little cow is the same color as my dearly departed hound of the same name, and it looks like it hasn't been suggested yet!
Tara, you are super cool! Thank you for the awesome content. I like to listen to your videos while I work.
And here I was under the assumption that Tara had no legs AND I FEEL BETRAYED
I just. Is this not embarrassing? Like how does one make one of these pov's and not immediately feel shame
I hope that the next evolution of these thirst trap POVs is to just make consent a part of the script, rather than the main focus. There are already people (including here on YT) that do a good job of emphasizing consent in their scripts without crossing over into cringe.
Also, that cow deserves to be named Strawberry
The first 30 seconds of this video actually made me a bigger lesbian. Love bodily autonomy respect
I cringed so hard I am just a ball now. A cringed up 'lil ball with arms.
So to be a successful pov f-boy I must have swoopy hair and a Wattpad storyline.
Idk why but this was the first thing that came to my head when you said name her. It's cringy but kinda cute. Moobear.