I can easily say your channel has inspired me to finally look into going back to school to be a therapist. I've been casually studying for so long and I'm going to be studying until I'm dead so why not see if we can make a modest career out of it. Love all your fantastic and thoughtful content.
All you need these days is your Masters in Social Work, LCSW! Don’t get sucked into these $$$money grubbing$$$ Professional schools of Psych, I..e, The Adler School of Prof. Psych.!
@@joshuaprivett3552 sure. So I moved to a place on the other side of the country and started from scratch to see who I was without anything familiar and see where that brought me. I’m still not in school but for the first time in my life have a place where I can live comfortably when I decide school is best. Currently making sure a few bucket list items are marked off that might conflict if schooling were happening but essentially untangling the loose ends atm.
Oh wow....I got a lot of useful information from this video. Unfortunately, anger is one of my things. It really can make life difficult. Thank you Dr. Grande!
I like how Dr. Grande asked the client to name a few things her boyfriend does well even with all the anger she has toward him. I find it interesting after Dr. Grande made the client think about her phrase of "all the time " which then turned into "most times" her boyfriend doesn't do what he is supposed to, to help around the house. Also Dr. Grande did a good job helping the client recognize that she can control her anger because she does it when she is at work.
I've followed you for years & your older material has added to my already profound fascination w psych & has inspired me to be a therapist. I visit it from time to time to still learn & be inspired. I do hope you go back to creating videos like these, or examples/signs that show trauma /abuse because it seems to be a prevalent pandemic. Sadly most who are being abused are not aware they are & it starts/continues the cycle. Videos can help so many identify their reality
I have seen many therapists and they were never therapeutic. I usually come out of the room feeling so frustrated and drained. They usually just regurgitates what I tell them, paraphrasing or summarizing, so called give a listening ear. I really like that Dr Grande ask questions. My therapist listens mostly and if they do ask, they do not make use of the information I gave to help me e-skill to better my way of solving my problem. I must say this video helps me so much more. Thanks so much Dr Grande!
I want to stop yelling and calm the fuck down when I get angry. I am aware that I learned how to behave like this due to my parents being very explosive. I want to stop my anger. I am frustrated with my behavior and feel like crying when I behave like this. I feel angry most of the time and it is frustrating me. I plan to speak with the person in a normal tone but them it changes and I regret it. I feel that this video has helped me learn the importance of walking away and thinking how to approach this as with work colleges. I am sad and angry that I behave like this. I feel broken and helpless at time. I am even more angry that mid life I see that I have a problem that I learned how to behave like this. Changing this behavior is like being a drug addict, you want to stop but at times your brain is your enemy. I hate my brain. I truly hate is.
I'm thinking this goes beyond just getting angry over something not done. I suspect there is some pay-off other than just being able to express anger that is not expressed at work. ;) like a subconscious desire to start a fight that will be a great excuse not to be intimate tonight....for whatever reason....too tired or something else. There is often some sort of a pay-off to "losing it" with people we love...and often, we're totally not aware of it. great video...ty. gave me lots of neat ideas ;)
I am really new to CBT but not new to getting angry and yelling. What I am having an issue with here is that she claims the reason why she doesnt yell at work is cause she would get fired. Now I imagine that even if she would not get fired she still wouldnt yell at work for two reasons: 1. she is a public environment 2. she is not close with her coworkers If her boyfriend got her angry in public it is unlikely (though still possible) that she would start yelling at him in public. Alternatively if she had a co-worker upset her in private it is unlikely (thought still possible) that she would yell at her in private. I think those two points are important factors and should be the focus of the session. Also, when we yell we dont do it to try and change people as she mentioned in her session. We do it most of the time as a result of letting out our frustration. Yelling is a reaction and a release to our pent up anger / frustration. just my two cents
I totally see where you're coming from, I had a horrible childhood, rape, neglect etc... at the grand old age of 46 I'm still in therapy... I remember lots of times I had and still do have pent up anger... anyway I was walking my dog ( who I love with all my heart) n someone said some thing like move your mangy dog... i lost it I mean to the point where I wasn't even aware of my own safety... I work on it n I'm not always successful but I've learned to say hey it's their problem not mine... another example with my dog ( I swear she's well behaved) someone passing by said my dog was ugly... no reason they just said it.... normally I would go off but I just breathed n didn't respond.... I walked maybe ten steps n smiles becsuse I had done it.... that said I still have my moments ... I remember a therapist I had n he said ANGER IS THE SAME AS SADNESS IT'S JUST A STRONGER WAY TO REACT.... I think that's true.... anyways my two cents
Great video! So helpful to see the thought processes behind the anger. But maybe you can address what to do if another person is just sitting at home doing nothing and not helping? I understand that raging anger is not helpful in this situation, but I think it would be great if at the end you could show her strategies of what she could have said to her boyfriend instead? Otherwise, the problem is still there and potentially not going anywhere?
Maybe the problem is an everyday problem and she does not know how to address it anymore so become a pattern and he is very silly to know what is going to happen everyday and don't do anything about it.
From the onset I have a problem. I was trained not to ask a client how they are doing at the beginning of a session which was hard to learn. But it made sense to me after it was explained.....
It'd be helpful for him to give examples on how she could effectively communicate with her boyfriend to fairly distribute domestic chores in a way that holds the partnership accountable and how to foster consideration on his sides. Also examine what would be a fair distribution in the first place. It seems crazy to me that if she reminded him before he continually couldn't bother to simply take some chicken out of the fridge to thaw. I see how that'd be frustrating, but I don't think she knows how to channel the anger from that into a productive solution. It seems some information would be needed about the partner and their relationship for that which wasn't explored.
It's like boy cried wolf. When the only response is always anger over small things, it's hard for the other person to know if they have really done something wrong. If that person only seems to communicate in anger that makes people defensive. Anger like that actually makes people LESS likely to change or compromise. What gets people to listen to you about what needs to change is authenticity. Sometimes anger can be part of being authentic, but so often anger is just masking the real grievance, so nothing every gets resolved.
The key is for him to help her figure out how to apply different ways to calm the anger. Otherwise him telling her ideas isn't helping her use her mind to cope. If she can apply his guides herself then she benefits more . I dont know but it seems like he kinda just helps her use her strength inside. Jmo
If the anger is problematic in the relationship, it may be better to talk it through with your partner & negotiate ways of avoiding the issue in the first place, by asking him to start doing the dishes before she gets home.
Hi! I am pursuing my Masters in Professional Counseling and a new intern. How might CBT look different if she was not able to control her anger at work? Or at other times in her life?
Still look for the thought process and desired outcome. Bring the thinking to the light and the result of the actions too. Even if we took out her ability to control it at work, we'd still be able to show her there is a thought process and a choice. She is still having inflexible and unrealistic thoughts " he NEVER does anything right". It's about awareness of these thoughts and how they affect the behavior.
That's why I decided to take film psychology and semiotics instead of clinical psychology at the last minute. I couldn't sit there and listen to crazeis all day.
Dr. Grande cognitive distorions in this case is being properly understood in the role play while being named for us students too. Otherwise in the above role play if the word intelligent and if the encouragment to expand on her work talk was being left out for sure that role play could have been used in a scene but got convenient for entertainment purposes got left out of the movie called, "Mrs. Doubt Fire" just before his Mrs. decided to leave for sure at her lawyers office.
I would have to practise sighing silently for example during forest fire season here in Edmonton Alberta Canada if I want to go into counseling like being a marriage counselor or whatever Dr. Grande if people seeking counselling like the girl show up expecting sympathy in my counselling office. Dr. Grande can you please do videos on how to cope with managing care giving stress? I remember doing housework for a retired nurse who told me about a typical incidents she would have to cope with in her role as nurse when patients would assault her.
This is NOT an example of how a therapy session might use role-playing as part of therapy. It's an example of how CBT is delivered, looking at triggers, thoughts and responses, and looking at cognitive distortions that might be at work, new thoughts that could be more helpful and new responses.
Dr. Grande wrote role-play reffering to the video itself because it's a role-play that shows how CBT is delivered. Not because he shows how to role-play in the video of an actual session.
I'm beginning to realize there's a voayer side to me Haha wow!! I enjoyed this. i know it was a role play. But. I have a question. Why isnt the love we feel enough to melt the anger away on the spot? I found that looking into someone's eyes is a powerful solvent for any heavy misemotion. It's what i use to feel better when anger and negative thinking take over. Before i speak i literally force myself to look into 'their' eyes and something shifts in my head, you would not believe how fast anger can disappear. You have to be aware that you are looking into their eyes and seeing their entire face. I promise it never fails :) Great videos
If we come and see things have not done, we get that yelling won't work and it's better to roll up our sleeves. I think we get angry because we did not have a good day at work or sth in our mind bothers us; we come home and we see sth is wrong and boom. The problem is how to get rid of those toxic thoughts
My therapist had me do worksheets on debating my own illogical and self-damaging thoughts. If you are still seeking this answer, shoot me an email address and I’ll send you a copy.
This is like rhetoric step by step process an IT person does to identify a problem in your computer. He is very patient and methodical Didn't use accucusatoru language which would create defensive behavioir...
Maybe if she could yell at her coworkers she wouldn't need to yell at her husband. She probably is bottling it up in side till she gets home . She should try screaming in her car before she comes in the house. That really helps.😉
@@candytwiggytwist3506 yelling is related to the release of negative emotions and singing is related to expressing positive emotions. If the person is experiencing negative emotions but trying to express positive emotions they will either begin to separate from reality or develop cognitive dissonance.
Candy Twiggy Twist yes, that’s what I do when I am angry coming home from work sat in traffic for 1 and half hours at 6pm. Sing at the top of my voice. I don’t think discussing other people’s issues on the internet is particularly good or professional or productive though. I sense that Mr Grande encourages hanging dirty washing out on the internet. Then, all the negative co workers put their two penneth in. I am wondering if this is the baptist church or born again Christian way? I am sure she has given him permission to be a guinepig? I used to constantly get angry at my ex husband for going in a man cave for years and not wanting to be socially active with myself or my daughter. I used to have to literally scream and drag him outside and socialise. It’s now backfiring because my daughter thinks this is the norm to not do family things together. After all, her older cousin was aloud to stay home alone and not bother coming to family get togethers and socialise. Their excuse was he has nobody his age to socialise with. Well in my family, we all socialised with my cousin 7 years older than me, neighbours in Blackpool 7 years older, when I was a baby. During childhood we spent Christmas with the family, spent time with our baby sitters Anne and Adrian and went to weddings etc. and ballroom danced with our great grandparents, great auntie in Hawaii, went on day trips, learned how to make clam chowder, learned how to play backgammon, visited our great uncle Dons Pub and drank cola singing around the piano, it’s a long way to Tipperary. We danced with our great uncle Bert, his wife’s family jack, doing a waltz at a dance where the majority of clientele was over 55 and we were 10 or 11! It was all about social interaction, helping pull together as a family, sharing chores. It’s called sharing responsibility and being kind to everyone in the household. We didn’t put pressure on my mum to do all the chores and go to work getting back late at 8pm after night school. If the washing up wasn’t done, my dad would ensure that us kids pitched in. The rule was if mum is busy, we all need to work as a team to get the jobs done. It’s called having consideration for the whole family. You can wash up, do 1 hour of homework and still have 2 to 3 hours with friends playing basketball or dancing class. I miss having family to back up and instil family values to our kids. I thought all families were like ours when I left home. I am hoping that Coronavirus is teaching our kids and communities to be considerate and kind to others.
I don't think she is angry at the dishes not done... I think it is other underlying issues that only close passionate couples feel... People at work don't bother her so much because she is not close to them... .anyeays she seems like a warm passionate happy disposition lady...her boyfriend should do the dishes more often... Cos she is a keeper
The character seemed like a bully to me. In fact, I wanted to break up with her, and I am not even her boyfriend. Since she's trying therapy, though, maybe I can give her some time to work through her feelings. Plus, we can buy some paper plates.
Is it just me ? I see this and I want to ask my nurse at the VA clinic can we try this ? Like these videos are educational and I am being educated on something that might help me and others around me. i see myself in that black and white thinking and I'm kinda old but I feel like Dr Grande's video can help me if I can get this kind of treatment and stick with it.
I am seeing this as a inequality problem between men and women. Why some men thinking that ‘ the dishes’ are women’s responsibility ? Even women working all day like they do. Some men still do not do home’s duties. Before managing her anger, i think he has to take some responsibility. I know her behavior to her bf and saying ‘ he does anything right’ is not right but im talking general issues here. Also im thinking that if the other partner did some home duties, the other partner would not be angry at all. So maybe he should come to therapist too😉
I would have liked to known what verbal commitments and expectations were made with the boyfriend. I suspect that she thinking he’s should read her mind in many instances. I’m wondering if she could text him on her way home to remind him about the chicken or the dishes or ask him to set a reminder on his phone. I’m also curious, why are there dishes in the sink? (were they his dishes from the day or did they leave their dishes from breakfast? Why not build the habit of doing them right after eating? Or having him do them all after dinner and not worrying about a dirty sink when she gets home? Getting over that seems to be a good idea too!) And what is the worst thing to happen if the chicken isn’t defrosted? Use the microwave defrost setting. I know Dr Grande was working on things she could control (aka CBT) but I feel like there were more conversations and strategies to be outlined with regard to the relationship expectations and behaviors too. Maybe a part 2, Dr G? Btw, I have that exact flower pattern on my ottoman from the 1990s!
Heres a suggestion Grande, why don't you try using a male patient example for once. Maybe it would tend to help those individuals who happen to be males on this side, to relate just a little better. All these interactions seem to be female female female patient.
Jerrod Burke it’s great that you can acknowledge what you’re doing! That’s a huge step! Have you tried to look at steps that could help you change your situation?
What should you do with justified anger? When someone is being an *as towards someone else. It sets me off. Someone like that doesn't listen to reasoning. My granddaughters step dad yelling at her none stop as she is sobbing. Some people need a good *ss kicking.
Well, then her " anger" issues aren't the issues anymore! lol, But likely, with less yelling, and him yelling back feeling attacked all the time, he is less likely to want to do things for her if he feels he is always wrong. If she stops yelling, he might feel less tense towards her and do it!!!
Terry Wickham As a result of the therapy she’ll be better able to communicate, set boundaries, and process her emotions. That will equip her to deal with this (or any other) issue appropriately if it should come up. That’s why good, consistent, and honest therapy can change your life in several aspects, even long after it ends. The main requirement is that the patient is truly self-motivated to change, and sometimes it takes some trial and error to find the right therapist.
Why do i hate so much why do i hate every one why am i so willing to use and say any thing and everything i can agint evwry one i was abused but i feel its been 10 years shouldnt i have gotten over not continuinly get worse the more time i find i spend around people i hate every race sex even children dogs anoy me and i feel like when they bark at me its a person yelling at me and trying to fight me i feel the whole world deserves me to punish them is there any thing i can do to make this go away or at least make it less
I can easily say your channel has inspired me to finally look into going back to school to be a therapist. I've been casually studying for so long and I'm going to be studying until I'm dead so why not see if we can make a modest career out of it. Love all your fantastic and thoughtful content.
All you need these days is your Masters in Social Work, LCSW! Don’t get sucked into these $$$money grubbing$$$ Professional schools of Psych, I..e, The Adler School of Prof. Psych.!
And your comment inspired me to start studiying too. I think I can do it, I have to work hard to get licensed in this country. Thank you.
I'm looking into doing peer support work. Seems like a great fit for my personality.
Any update on your pursuit?
@@joshuaprivett3552 sure. So I moved to a place on the other side of the country and started from scratch to see who I was without anything familiar and see where that brought me. I’m still not in school but for the first time in my life have a place where I can live comfortably when I decide school is best. Currently making sure a few bucket list items are marked off that might conflict if schooling were happening but essentially untangling the loose ends atm.
I like the way CBT was used here, ever so subtly. I've seen videos where they are almost teaching the client all about what CBT is.
Oh wow....I got a lot of useful information from this video. Unfortunately, anger is one of my things. It really can make life difficult. Thank you Dr. Grande!
I like how Dr. Grande asked the client to name a few things her boyfriend does well even with all the anger she has toward him. I find it interesting after Dr. Grande made the client think about her phrase of "all the time " which then turned into "most times" her boyfriend doesn't do what he is supposed to, to help around the house. Also Dr. Grande did a good job helping the client recognize that she can control her anger because she does it when she is at work.
A desirable outcome...could that be The belief [thot] losing its usefulness]
I've followed you for years & your older material has added to my already profound fascination w psych & has inspired me to be a therapist. I visit it from time to time to still learn & be inspired. I do hope you go back to creating videos like these, or examples/signs that show trauma /abuse because it seems to be a prevalent pandemic. Sadly most who are being abused are not aware they are & it starts/continues the cycle. Videos can help so many identify their reality
I'm a counseling major and your videos help me so much.
Are you guys not allowed to record counseling for education purposes even if you have their permission?
I have seen many therapists and they were never therapeutic. I usually come out of the room feeling so frustrated and drained. They usually just regurgitates what I tell them, paraphrasing or summarizing, so called give a listening ear. I really like that Dr Grande ask questions. My therapist listens mostly and if they do ask, they do not make use of the information I gave to help me e-skill to better my way of solving my problem. I must say this video helps me so much more. Thanks so much Dr Grande!
i like watching your videos to help me conduct mock therapy sessions. a very good source to learn from. keep the vids coming
This lady pissed me off, so I think I'm the target audience for this video.
Good acting btw.
I want to stop yelling and calm the fuck down when I get angry. I am aware that I learned how to behave like this due to my parents being very explosive. I want to stop my anger. I am frustrated with my behavior and feel like crying when I behave like this. I feel angry most of the time and it is frustrating me. I plan to speak with the person in a normal tone but them it changes and I regret it. I feel that this video has helped me learn the importance of walking away and thinking how to approach this as with work colleges. I am sad and angry that I behave like this. I feel broken and helpless at time. I am even more angry that mid life I see that I have a problem that I learned how to behave like this. Changing this behavior is like being a drug addict, you want to stop but at times your brain is your enemy. I hate my brain. I truly hate is.
dont worry, youll get there, take it one step at a time. :)
I'm thinking this goes beyond just getting angry over something not done. I suspect there is some pay-off other than just being able to express anger that is not expressed at work. ;) like a subconscious desire to start a fight that will be a great excuse not to be intimate tonight....for whatever reason....too tired or something else. There is often some sort of a pay-off to "losing it" with people we love...and often, we're totally not aware of it. great video...ty. gave me lots of neat ideas ;)
This is great. But this boyfriend, and all the other boyfriends, really need to start doing the dishes.
Do him a huge favor and kick him out.
Yeah, no. A review of the literature shows there's overall significantly less intimacy in homes where traditional gender roles are swapped.
Hahahahhaha
@@yossarianmnichols9641 hahahahhaha 🤣🤣🔝
@@TheHaiku2 link?
This is a great video in explaining CBT.
I am really new to CBT but not new to getting angry and yelling. What I am having an issue with here is that she claims the reason why she doesnt yell at work is cause she would get fired. Now I imagine that even if she would not get fired she still wouldnt yell at work for two reasons:
1. she is a public environment
2. she is not close with her coworkers
If her boyfriend got her angry in public it is unlikely (though still possible) that she would start yelling at him in public. Alternatively if she had a co-worker upset her in private it is unlikely (thought still possible) that she would yell at her in private.
I think those two points are important factors and should be the focus of the session.
Also, when we yell we dont do it to try and change people as she mentioned in her session. We do it most of the time as a result of letting out our frustration. Yelling is a reaction and a release to our pent up anger / frustration.
just my two cents
I can see that this approach has merit. But often there is no time between thought and action.
I totally see where you're coming from, I had a horrible childhood, rape, neglect etc... at the grand old age of 46 I'm still in therapy... I remember lots of times I had and still do have pent up anger... anyway I was walking my dog ( who I love with all my heart) n someone said some thing like move your mangy dog... i lost it I mean to the point where I wasn't even aware of my own safety... I work on it n I'm not always successful but I've learned to say hey it's their problem not mine... another example with my dog ( I swear she's well behaved) someone passing by said my dog was ugly... no reason they just said it.... normally I would go off but I just breathed n didn't respond.... I walked maybe ten steps n smiles becsuse I had done it.... that said I still have my moments ... I remember a therapist I had n he said ANGER IS THE SAME AS SADNESS IT'S JUST A STRONGER WAY TO REACT.... I think that's true.... anyways my two cents
This actress is unrealistically self aware. Generlly people with anger issues dont blame themselves for anger. They would say others "made them mad".
👌
This was great and so helpful!
Great video! So helpful to see the thought processes behind the anger. But maybe you can address what to do if another person is just sitting at home doing nothing and not helping? I understand that raging anger is not helpful in this situation, but I think it would be great if at the end you could show her strategies of what she could have said to her boyfriend instead? Otherwise, the problem is still there and potentially not going anywhere?
Maybe the problem is an everyday problem and she does not know how to address it anymore so become a pattern and he is very silly to know what is going to happen everyday and don't do anything about it.
From the onset I have a problem. I was trained not to ask a client how they are doing at the beginning of a session which was hard to learn. But it made sense to me after it was explained.....
It'd be helpful for him to give examples on how she could effectively communicate with her boyfriend to fairly distribute domestic chores in a way that holds the partnership accountable and how to foster consideration on his sides. Also examine what would be a fair distribution in the first place. It seems crazy to me that if she reminded him before he continually couldn't bother to simply take some chicken out of the fridge to thaw. I see how that'd be frustrating, but I don't think she knows how to channel the anger from that into a productive solution. It seems some information would be needed about the partner and their relationship for that which wasn't explored.
It's like boy cried wolf. When the only response is always anger over small things, it's hard for the other person to know if they have really done something wrong. If that person only seems to communicate in anger that makes people defensive. Anger like that actually makes people LESS likely to change or compromise. What gets people to listen to you about what needs to change is authenticity. Sometimes anger can be part of being authentic, but so often anger is just masking the real grievance, so nothing every gets resolved.
The key is for him to help her figure out how to apply different ways to calm the anger. Otherwise him telling her ideas isn't helping her use her mind to cope. If she can apply his guides herself then she benefits more . I dont know but it seems like he kinda just helps her use her strength inside. Jmo
The boyfriend doesn’t seem to respect her or her time, which is causing a problem. No one is going to enjoy a relationship like that
If the anger is problematic in the relationship, it may be better to talk it through with your partner & negotiate ways of avoiding the issue in the first place, by asking him to start doing the dishes before she gets home.
This not working makes her angry
Hi! I am pursuing my Masters in Professional Counseling and a new intern. How might CBT look different if she was not able to control her anger at work? Or at other times in her life?
Still look for the thought process and desired outcome. Bring the thinking to the light and the result of the actions too. Even if we took out her ability to control it at work, we'd still be able to show her there is a thought process and a choice. She is still having inflexible and unrealistic thoughts " he NEVER does anything right". It's about awareness of these thoughts and how they affect the behavior.
Must be challenging to remain neutral with all the behaviours/dialogues people can throw at you.
That's why I decided to take film psychology and semiotics instead of clinical psychology at the last minute. I couldn't sit there and listen to crazeis all day.
I have p.t.s.d. and I always get upset by things that remind me of negative time's in my life.
I had a difficult childhood and when I see something like that happen to a child I totally lose it.
Yes I'm really messed up cause of cptsd
Dr. Grande cognitive distorions in this case is being properly understood in the role play while being named for us students too. Otherwise in the above role play if the word intelligent and if the encouragment to expand on her work talk was being left out for sure that role play could have been used in a scene but got convenient for entertainment purposes got left out of the movie called, "Mrs. Doubt Fire" just before his Mrs. decided to leave for sure at her lawyers office.
She's sitting on Martin Crane's chair.
I would have to practise sighing silently for example during forest fire season here in Edmonton Alberta Canada if I want to go into counseling like being a marriage counselor or whatever Dr. Grande if people seeking counselling like the girl show up expecting sympathy in my counselling office. Dr. Grande can you please do videos on how to cope with managing care giving stress? I remember doing housework for a retired nurse who told me about a typical incidents she would have to cope with in her role as nurse when patients would assault her.
This is NOT an example of how a therapy session might use role-playing as part of therapy. It's an example of how CBT is delivered, looking at triggers, thoughts and responses, and looking at cognitive distortions that might be at work, new thoughts that could be more helpful and new responses.
Dr. Grande wrote role-play reffering to the video itself because it's a role-play that shows how CBT is delivered. Not because he shows how to role-play in the video of an actual session.
I'm beginning to realize there's a voayer side to me Haha wow!! I enjoyed this. i know it was a role play. But. I have a question. Why isnt the love we feel enough to melt the anger away on the spot?
I found that looking into someone's eyes is a powerful solvent for any heavy misemotion. It's what i use to feel better when anger and negative thinking take over. Before i speak i literally force myself to look into 'their' eyes and something shifts in my head, you would not believe how fast anger can disappear. You have to be aware that you are looking into their eyes and seeing their entire face. I promise it never fails :)
Great videos
I will have to try that!
That's good advice, thank you.
Thanks for sharing! I can see this working.
Good job!
Thank you and thanks for watching.
If we come and see things have not done, we get that yelling won't work and it's better to roll up our sleeves. I think we get angry because we did not have a good day at work or sth in our mind bothers us; we come home and we see sth is wrong and boom. The problem is how to get rid of those toxic thoughts
My therapist had me do worksheets on debating my own illogical and self-damaging thoughts. If you are still seeking this answer, shoot me an email address and I’ll send you a copy.
Kacie Gresch can I get a copy?
qtwm Absolutely, give me your email address and I’ll get it to you tomorrow when I have access to a scanner
This is like rhetoric step by step process an IT person does to identify a problem in your computer. He is very patient and methodical
Didn't use accucusatoru language which would create defensive behavioir...
Maybe if she could yell at her coworkers she wouldn't need to yell at her husband. She probably is bottling it up in side till she gets home . She should try screaming in her car before she comes in the house. That really helps.😉
Or sing instead of yelling!?
@@candytwiggytwist3506 yelling is related to the release of negative emotions and singing is related to expressing positive emotions. If the person is experiencing negative emotions but trying to express positive emotions they will either begin to separate from reality or develop cognitive dissonance.
Candy Twiggy Twist yes, that’s what I do when I am angry coming home from work sat in traffic for 1 and half hours at 6pm. Sing at the top of my voice.
I don’t think discussing other people’s issues on the internet is particularly good or professional or productive though. I sense that Mr Grande encourages hanging dirty washing out on the internet. Then, all the negative co workers put their two penneth in. I am wondering if this is the baptist church or born again Christian way? I am sure she has given him permission to be a guinepig?
I used to constantly get angry at my ex husband for going in a man cave for years and not wanting to be socially active with myself or my daughter. I used to have to literally scream and drag him outside and socialise. It’s now backfiring because my daughter thinks this is the norm to not do family things together. After all, her older cousin was aloud to stay home alone and not bother coming to family get togethers and socialise. Their excuse was he has nobody his age to socialise with. Well in my family, we all socialised with my cousin 7 years older than me, neighbours in Blackpool 7 years older, when I was a baby. During childhood we spent Christmas with the family, spent time with our baby sitters Anne and Adrian and went to weddings etc. and ballroom danced with our great grandparents, great auntie in Hawaii, went on day trips, learned how to make clam chowder, learned how to play backgammon, visited our great uncle Dons Pub and drank cola singing around the piano, it’s a long way to Tipperary. We danced with our great uncle Bert, his wife’s family jack, doing a waltz at a dance where the majority of clientele was over 55 and we were 10 or 11! It was all about social interaction, helping pull together as a family, sharing chores. It’s called sharing responsibility and being kind to everyone in the household. We didn’t put pressure on my mum to do all the chores and go to work getting back late at 8pm after night school. If the washing up wasn’t done, my dad would ensure that us kids pitched in. The rule was if mum is busy, we all need to work as a team to get the jobs done. It’s called having consideration for the whole family. You can wash up, do 1 hour of homework and still have 2 to 3 hours with friends playing basketball or dancing class. I miss having family to back up and instil family values to our kids. I thought all families were like ours when I left home. I am hoping that Coronavirus is teaching our kids and communities to be considerate and kind to others.
@@kathrinjohnson2582 holy cow. You just helped me solve a puzzle about myself
@@salma_Nella22 oh good for you.
I love those kind of chairs….my mother always had one in her br. Is there a name for that kind of chair?
Wingback chair, maybe?
I don't think she is angry at the dishes not done... I think it is other underlying issues that only close passionate couples feel... People at work don't bother her so much because she is not close to them... .anyeays she seems like a warm passionate happy disposition lady...her boyfriend should do the dishes more often... Cos she is a keeper
this is role play
I'm coming home and he's just sitting on the couch...
... Chewing. No, not chewing. POPPING.
This was not the cbt I was coming for ….
The character seemed like a bully to me. In fact, I wanted to break up with her, and I am not even her boyfriend.
Since she's trying therapy, though, maybe I can give her some time to work through her feelings.
Plus, we can buy some paper plates.
that's what we do at our house XDXD no dishes to worry about XD
Is it just me ? I see this and I want to ask my nurse at the VA clinic can we try this ? Like these videos are educational and I am being educated on something that might help me and others around me. i see myself in that black and white thinking and I'm kinda old but I feel like Dr Grande's video can help me if I can get this kind of treatment and stick with it.
I am seeing this as a inequality problem between men and women. Why some men thinking that ‘ the dishes’ are women’s responsibility ? Even women working all day like they do. Some men still do not do home’s duties. Before managing her anger, i think he has to take some responsibility. I know her behavior to her bf and saying ‘ he does anything right’ is not right but im talking general issues here. Also im thinking that if the other partner did some home duties, the other partner would not be angry at all. So maybe he should come to therapist too😉
I would have liked to known what verbal commitments and expectations were made with the boyfriend. I suspect that she thinking he’s should read her mind in many instances. I’m wondering if she could text him on her way home to remind him about the chicken or the dishes or ask him to set a reminder on his phone. I’m also curious, why are there dishes in the sink? (were they his dishes from the day or did they leave their dishes from breakfast? Why not build the habit of doing them right after eating? Or having him do them all after dinner and not worrying about a dirty sink when she gets home? Getting over that seems to be a good idea too!) And what is the worst thing to happen if the chicken isn’t defrosted? Use the microwave defrost setting. I know Dr Grande was working on things she could control (aka CBT) but I feel like there were more conversations and strategies to be outlined with regard to the relationship expectations and behaviors too. Maybe a part 2, Dr G? Btw, I have that exact flower pattern on my ottoman from the 1990s!
He makes good money...
So she's angry and shallow.
Heres a suggestion Grande, why don't you try using a male patient example for once. Maybe it would tend to help those individuals who happen to be males on this side, to relate just a little better.
All these interactions seem to be female female female patient.
are you guys from pittsburgh?
That's it. His shock
that shirt is huge
no he's small
He got it on sale so fitting wasn't an issue
Too many issues that she brings up are not explored. No examples of Adaptive Responses...
Im a 13 year old teenager and ive abused my ex girl from anger issues
Jerrod Burke it’s great that you can acknowledge what you’re doing! That’s a huge step! Have you tried to look at steps that could help you change your situation?
What should you do with justified anger? When someone is being an *as towards someone else. It sets me off. Someone like that doesn't listen to reasoning. My granddaughters step dad yelling at her none stop as she is sobbing. Some people need a good *ss kicking.
Her mom needs to leave that abuser
Do you live with your granddaughter? Maybe the birth dad can help
If she yells at me for trivial things I would just simply laugh at her. But way before that I would of disappeared permanently
So, she prepares herself and calms down before she comes home, but 3-4 wks he is still NOT doing what he should be doing, then what?
Well, then her " anger" issues aren't the issues anymore! lol, But likely, with less yelling, and him yelling back feeling attacked all the time, he is less likely to want to do things for her if he feels he is always wrong. If she stops yelling, he might feel less tense towards her and do it!!!
Terry Wickham As a result of the therapy she’ll be better able to communicate, set boundaries, and process her emotions. That will equip her to deal with this (or any other) issue appropriately if it should come up. That’s why good, consistent, and honest therapy can change your life in several aspects, even long after it ends. The main requirement is that the patient is truly self-motivated to change, and sometimes it takes some trial and error to find the right therapist.
Can you make it ASMR? Just kidding 😂
Lol 😂 I giggled at this comment
Why do i hate so much why do i hate every one why am i so willing to use and say any thing and everything i can agint evwry one i was abused but i feel its been 10 years shouldnt i have gotten over not continuinly get worse the more time i find i spend around people i hate every race sex even children dogs anoy me and i feel like when they bark at me its a person yelling at me and trying to fight me i feel the whole world deserves me to punish them is there any thing i can do to make this go away or at least make it less
Geez ooo she can’t yell because she will get fired no consequences when It comes to go
Off of her bf
Sounds to me that she doesn’t so much need therapy, that she needs a husband that’s not so lazy and useless
Todd was slim pickings
Build a wall
The w
? lol
Just get rid of boyfriend = removes anger 👌 he is crap team mate