@@MajorCulturalDivide yes i feel here it’s about a fear of getting things wrong at the core….. a fear of punishment….. more than a fear of non existence, which most say the core fear is. but i don’t really see how one can fear non existence as what would that be? how can we fear something that is not? so we fear being out of control , helplessness…… i don’t know…..🤷♀️🤷♀️❤️❤️
@@MajorCulturalDivide there’s not really a sense that i created anything….. but yes….. no real core i suppose….. definitely sensations….. but not personal…..🫠
This recording made me realise that I most likely had my first awakening years ago when I was at the end of my tether, rock bottom. I had been addicted to methamphetamine for +/- 8 years. I was introduced to the drug by a Jewish guy I met... This fateful evening, I remember "praying" to God... "why have you forsaken me?". I was in a public place of sorts. My tears rolling from my face quickly turned to awe as an "angel" appeared to me, and allayed all my fears, kept me company that night. In that moment when I relinquished all control, all identity, I now realize that I actually gained an inner strength I never thought was possible. Life was never the same again after that fateful evening.
I felt compelled to be more specific for those who might stumble upon this with a sense of curiosity. The "angel" I referred to was a person, a stranger who had intimate knowledge of my desires and interests. This was mysterious, and the person came to my aid as soon as I gave up on all hope that I can end the experience of isolation. I spent the night at the person's home. I have never seen or heard from him again. As mentioned in this video - appearing and gone in the blink of an eye.
Recently ive discovered, deep deep in my psyche, a fear of life, a fear of everything. Here it feels like I dont know what anything really is, and I feel terrified. It feels like an old fear. Something that a sense of knowing reality has been built on top of, to mitigate and relieve this fear.
Remain present, don’t run from it and don’t deviate. Just feel it as clearly as possible without any filtering, negotiation, agenda. It will subside at some point 😊 You can also inquire into the perception that things should be predictable and see if dissolving that believe helps.
Hey @@SimplyAlwaysAwake thanks for your response and advice 🙏😊 What I can say is im baffled how hidden this layer has been for me. How ive been (re)discovering it is also so baffling. It feels like its by going beyond the mind. Into the part of my experience that feels like it speaks silently. Atm im doing a procedure called "The Presence Process" (which you might be familiar with?), which exactly focuses on bringing up emotional charges and states to integrate. This one feels key..
Angelo will definitely help you remember where to go to find who and what you really are. The most important thing is to remember it's already here within you. There is no need to look outside of the one looking through those eyes. Good luck. It's one hell of a journey.
You're super clear Angelo. I had a month long glimpse after reading a book on letting go of control. I had no idea what non-duality was or what had happened except that there was no one to Do or be in control, could go on and on but the point is, ego seems to have such a hard time letting go of control because that will be the end of it. Everything is spontaneously and effortlessly happening, no control whatsoever. I really enjoy your channel and am going to buy your book this week.
This is what I've been wondering about. Apparently I'm not even writing this comment. It's just terrible to think that I'm stuck in this illusion. I would say I don't know how everyone else copes, but now I'm not even sure they exist.
Thank you. Needed to hear this, because it seems to be my tightest bond to the illusion. Everyone just says there is no control to begin with, but you understand, to calm down the fear around it. At the same time I am saying yes to all of this and even laugh with you about the impossibility of explaining it, because I see it. And I don't. It is only an illusion I am not seeing it 😂
How does this apply to decision making? We are still presented with options, which leads to the at least appearance of control. I have a hard time with making difficult decisions in life. I guess most people are. Sometimes I think there is no right or wrong decision and everything will sort itself out. Then I just wait until the last possible moment to make the choice. But other times I think I'm just procrastinating... When we don't have control why are we presented with choices!? It's frustrating
By the time you are thinking about it the decision is already audit jade. It occurs below conscious processing. The one thinking about all of this is a reflection.
@@SimplyAlwaysAwake that is interesting. So the decision has already been made and all that thinking isn't necessary. I just think I need to do it to validate my decision perhaps because I'm afraid I'm making the wrong one. I think you are very right. I can sense this happening in me.
@@adabialynicka9188 yes, and now you are thinking ABOUT thinking about decisions to make them. Thinking is like a brush fire, if you fan the flames even a little bit it travels fast 🔥
@@SimplyAlwaysAwake it sure does. I was thinking about all the unnecessary over thinking I did. But this is quite revolutionary. The thinking me isn't the one really making decisions anyway. I suppose this is how we try to stay in control.
I had a dream a while ago which seemed to illustrate this. Briefly, in the dream, I am in a dark car park with lots of cars there. I get into my car and immediately it goes off on its own, careering around the dark park all without hitting anything whilst I am desperately trying to control, pulling on the handbrake to no avail Then my car drives off at full speed down a side road towards a T junction, another car approaching then comes to an instantaneous stop just an inch from the buildings opposite and the other car. Then I get out. It occured to me later that my car was a kind of symbol of Life telling me to let go of trying to control it - and it showed me by driving around like mad, in the dark, and all without hitting anything.
I actually had a dream in the last few days where I realised I was in a dream but didn't know how to wake up from it. Fortunately I did, which is more than can be said for this nightmare!
We can’t control the illusion . Definitely not as a character seemingly in it . Very Freeing to realize , yet for some I imagine that’s frightening . I think what doesn’t need any help from illusion(s) , as you say, is also an illusion itself.
How does this apply to procrastination? I get stressed and feel dread for certain tasks. Any advice on how to not control yet get the important things done?
Be grateful for the texture of experience and know that sone things will feel enjoyable and others less so. Yet there is something here that doesn’t differentiate
❤ Thank you 😊 it seem to me am about to get to the place you are talking about but the chain of emotional work is keeping me busy 😂 even after the glimpse of the promise 😊
Brilliant ! 👌 I was meditating today and it was seen ( briefly) that everything is thought ! even breathing ! it’s happened before , not sure what to make of it ! is even that seeing just another thought or imagining ? 🦋also sometimes in the stillness breathing seems to disappear ! 😆
Anyone else feel vertigo in the process of waking up? I have been having my senses kind of blend into one big sense field, so to speak. For example, my face sensations are every where now not just in my face and hearing is everywhere too…I don’t know how to explain it. And that’s ok. But this vertigo is trippy…
How it seems to me (and I realize now that I don't really believe in the sense that some "I" is in control, I haven't for years) is the tricky part is when a situation comes up (in private life, at work etc.) when someone says: you take responsibility for x, this must be done asap! - what happens is that all of a sudden there's a feeling of panic, like 'oh shit, I better show up no matter what and focus and get it done' and the sense of I shows up again and the sense of: ok, now gotta focus real hard to cut off whatever other stuff comes up (eg. shadow stuff surfacing) and just get into the intended activity (I take ADHD meds for that). Ofc it's something that probably a lot of people deal with but.. it feels like a huge obstacle. Any suggestions would be welcome 🙏 Inquire into fear of helplessness or failure? Make time to allow the other stuff to come up and 'clean it up'? Observe clearly what happens in these situations? 🤔 Work on focus of awareness or empowering myself through beliefs to stop worrying? Work on doubt or reactivity?
Hello Angello, Since I was a kid, I've always had this feeling of something/s lurking about esp when I am alone. It's very real to me, I am now a grown up man and for heaven's sake I can't shake this. My body n mind absolutely can't calm down. I am sure I don't have any mental issue whatsoever apart from some anxiety. Is there any inquiry or somehow I can get a perspective on what is going on with me. I've tried sitting with the fear sometimes, but it's too strong...thank you.
@SimplyAlwaysAwake Presumably due to a lack of resistance. Resistance to pain/discomfort leads to suffering, allowing and accepting pain leads to freedom.
@@infinitenothingness - I would agree with this as I have found that if I do the opposite of resistance, and really lean into pain as hard as I can, it diminishes. I don’t know how that works, but if I am hyper-aware of it and hyper-feel it, it always diminishes to a very bearable point.
@@SimplyAlwaysAwake - This is interesting. As I stated below replying to Infinite Nothingness, I have found that if I do the opposite of resistance, and really lean into pain as hard as I can (be hyper-aware and hyper-feeling), it diminishes. But…I know that pain can be so great that one loses consciousness. I also know that pain can go on for so long and so intensely that the body can come to a point it cannot take any more. I suppose this is extreme, but I watched my sister go through this with intersticial cystitis for a while and they could not manage her pain and I was extremely concerned for her as it was getting to a point where it was literally unbearable for her. Pain can be intense enough for long enough that killing oneself becomes an option to consider. Thankfully, she was able to figure some things out with diet for herself that began to give her relief. I would think that even being in the awakened state has limits with physical pain, but I wouldn’t know.
@@Hermetic7 I might suggest looking into how that experience with your sister has affected you. That can be traumatic to go through and shape your perceptions of pain and pain stayed at a deep level. Just a suggestion.
@@SimplyAlwaysAwake He sort of asked two different questions in one. Which one did you answer? I assume the separate self one. What you describe sounds like freedom. If I could press a button to achieve that I would. This life is nothing but suffering. Absolutely nothing else.
@@SimplyAlwaysAwake i mean will others' experiences still remain in existence or does everything die with me. It used to terrify me the thought, but I was seeing it from a solipsistic point of view. The deeper I go the easier it is to accept
@@JonnyChaos Think of it this way. Have you ever been present when another person dies? If you have and you didn’t disappear then you have your answer. 150k people die each day but your universe doesn’t cease to exist every time that happens right?
Do you ever miss your ego Angelo?? Or the life you used to have before realization? I already miss my younger years and imagine I would miss my character if I ever reached the level you're at..
"You're afraid of surrender because you don't want to lose control....But you never had control, all you had was anxiety"
Elizabeth Gilbert
That's beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Yes, anxiety. Afraid we might get things wrong.
@@MajorCulturalDivide yes i feel here it’s about a fear of getting things wrong at the core….. a fear of punishment….. more than a fear of non existence, which most say the core fear is. but i don’t really see how one can fear non existence as what would that be? how can we fear something that is not? so we fear being out of control , helplessness…… i don’t know…..🤷♀️🤷♀️❤️❤️
@@MajorCulturalDivide there’s not really a sense that i created anything….. but yes….. no real core i suppose….. definitely sensations….. but not personal…..🫠
This recording made me realise that I most likely had my first awakening years ago when I was at the end of my tether, rock bottom. I had been addicted to methamphetamine for +/- 8 years. I was introduced to the drug by a Jewish guy I met... This fateful evening, I remember "praying" to God... "why have you forsaken me?". I was in a public place of sorts. My tears rolling from my face quickly turned to awe as an "angel" appeared to me, and allayed all my fears, kept me company that night. In that moment when I relinquished all control, all identity, I now realize that I actually gained an inner strength I never thought was possible. Life was never the same again after that fateful evening.
I felt compelled to be more specific for those who might stumble upon this with a sense of curiosity. The "angel" I referred to was a person, a stranger who had intimate knowledge of my desires and interests. This was mysterious, and the person came to my aid as soon as I gave up on all hope that I can end the experience of isolation. I spent the night at the person's home. I have never seen or heard from him again. As mentioned in this video - appearing and gone in the blink of an eye.
Recently ive discovered, deep deep in my psyche, a fear of life, a fear of everything. Here it feels like I dont know what anything really is, and I feel terrified. It feels like an old fear. Something that a sense of knowing reality has been built on top of, to mitigate and relieve this fear.
Remain present, don’t run from it and don’t deviate. Just feel it as clearly as possible without any filtering, negotiation, agenda. It will subside at some point 😊
You can also inquire into the perception that things should be predictable and see if dissolving that believe helps.
Hey @@SimplyAlwaysAwake thanks for your response and advice 🙏😊 What I can say is im baffled how hidden this layer has been for me. How ive been (re)discovering it is also so baffling. It feels like its by going beyond the mind. Into the part of my experience that feels like it speaks silently.
Atm im doing a procedure called "The Presence Process" (which you might be familiar with?), which exactly focuses on bringing up emotional charges and states to integrate. This one feels key..
Angelo, you are a shining beacon to us all. I love your clarity. My heart is overflowing with gratitude to you. ❤
The more I hear this man talk, the more I think he definitely knows what he’s talking about lol
i don't know what the hell he's talking about, but i'm sure drawn to the message 😄
😂 keep listening❤
ya same you can tell
Angelo will definitely help you remember where to go to find who and what you really are. The most important thing is to remember it's already here within you. There is no need to look outside of the one looking through those eyes. Good luck. It's one hell of a journey.
Truly and he’s real and speaks to this in everyday terms.
"The secret of life is... everything is out of control."
- Ajahn Brahm
Thank you for making these videos!
Thanks so much!!!!
This! A breath of fresh air. Thank you
You're super clear Angelo. I had a month long glimpse after reading a book on letting go of control. I had no idea what non-duality was or what had happened except that there was no one to Do or be in control, could go on and on but the point is, ego seems to have such a hard time letting go of control because that will be the end of it. Everything is spontaneously and effortlessly happening, no control whatsoever. I really enjoy your channel and am going to buy your book this week.
Thx for sharing
You = The Best
This is what I've been wondering about. Apparently I'm not even writing this comment. It's just terrible to think that I'm stuck in this illusion. I would say I don't know how everyone else copes, but now I'm not even sure they exist.
Thank you. Needed to hear this, because it seems to be my tightest bond to the illusion. Everyone just says there is no control to begin with, but you understand, to calm down the fear around it. At the same time I am saying yes to all of this and even laugh with you about the impossibility of explaining it, because I see it. And I don't. It is only an illusion I am not seeing it 😂
Even imagining the worst possible outcomes feels something like certainty and and a false sense of control.
…I’ve noticed. 😅
How does this apply to decision making? We are still presented with options, which leads to the at least appearance of control. I have a hard time with making difficult decisions in life. I guess most people are. Sometimes I think there is no right or wrong decision and everything will sort itself out. Then I just wait until the last possible moment to make the choice. But other times I think I'm just procrastinating... When we don't have control why are we presented with choices!? It's frustrating
By the time you are thinking about it the decision is already audit jade. It occurs below conscious processing. The one thinking about all of this is a reflection.
@@SimplyAlwaysAwake that is interesting. So the decision has already been made and all that thinking isn't necessary. I just think I need to do it to validate my decision perhaps because I'm afraid I'm making the wrong one. I think you are very right. I can sense this happening in me.
Thank you very much
@@adabialynicka9188 yes, and now you are thinking ABOUT thinking about decisions to make them. Thinking is like a brush fire, if you fan the flames even a little bit it travels fast 🔥
@@SimplyAlwaysAwake it sure does. I was thinking about all the unnecessary over thinking I did. But this is quite revolutionary. The thinking me isn't the one really making decisions anyway. I suppose this is how we try to stay in control.
This video brings me to the just one awareness- I love you for that!
I had a dream a while ago which seemed to illustrate this. Briefly, in the dream, I am in a dark car park with lots of cars there. I get into my car and immediately it goes off on its own, careering around the dark park all without hitting anything whilst I am desperately trying to control, pulling on the handbrake to no avail Then my car drives off at full speed down a side road towards a T junction, another car approaching then comes to an instantaneous stop just an inch from the buildings opposite and the other car. Then I get out.
It occured to me later that my car was a kind of symbol of Life telling me to let go of trying to control it - and it showed me by driving around like mad, in the dark, and all without hitting anything.
Love it!
I actually had a dream in the last few days where I realised I was in a dream but didn't know how to wake up from it. Fortunately I did, which is more than can be said for this nightmare!
We can’t control the illusion . Definitely not as a character seemingly in it . Very Freeing to realize , yet for some I imagine that’s frightening .
I think what doesn’t need any help from illusion(s) , as you say, is also an illusion itself.
How does this apply to procrastination? I get stressed and feel dread for certain tasks. Any advice on how to not control yet get the important things done?
Be grateful for the texture of experience and know that sone things will feel enjoyable and others less so. Yet there is something here that doesn’t differentiate
🙏🙏🙏
Amazing explanation Angelo !
All I do is procrastinate and wait for something +-+.
❤ Thank you 😊 it seem to me am about to get to the place you are talking about but the chain of emotional work is keeping me busy 😂 even after the glimpse of the promise 😊
Brilliant ! 👌
I was meditating today and it was seen ( briefly) that everything is thought ! even breathing ! it’s happened before , not sure what to make of it ! is even that seeing just another thought or imagining ? 🦋also sometimes in the stillness breathing seems to disappear ! 😆
Thank you. Liking!
Anyone else feel vertigo in the process of waking up? I have been having my senses kind of blend into one big sense field, so to speak. For example, my face sensations are every where now not just in my face and hearing is everywhere too…I don’t know how to explain it. And that’s ok. But this vertigo is trippy…
It's not uncommon esp with rapid dissolving into non-dual as you describe. It will stabilize ✨⛩💥
precious
thank you 🙏❤️
How it seems to me (and I realize now that I don't really believe in the sense that some "I" is in control, I haven't for years) is the tricky part is when a situation comes up (in private life, at work etc.) when someone says: you take responsibility for x, this must be done asap! - what happens is that all of a sudden there's a feeling of panic, like 'oh shit, I better show up no matter what and focus and get it done' and the sense of I shows up again and the sense of: ok, now gotta focus real hard to cut off whatever other stuff comes up (eg. shadow stuff surfacing) and just get into the intended activity (I take ADHD meds for that). Ofc it's something that probably a lot of people deal with but.. it feels like a huge obstacle. Any suggestions would be welcome 🙏 Inquire into fear of helplessness or failure? Make time to allow the other stuff to come up and 'clean it up'? Observe clearly what happens in these situations? 🤔 Work on focus of awareness or empowering myself through beliefs to stop worrying? Work on doubt or reactivity?
So good. ♥️ ♥️
First again! Love your content.
When you get it you get it and wow I get it 😂😂
Hello Angello,
Since I was a kid, I've always had this feeling of something/s lurking about esp when I am alone. It's very real to me, I am now a grown up man and for heaven's sake I can't shake this. My body n mind absolutely can't calm down. I am sure I don't have any mental issue whatsoever apart from some anxiety. Is there any inquiry or somehow I can get a perspective on what is going on with me. I've tried sitting with the fear sometimes, but it's too strong...thank you.
Offer it compassion 😊 this is very important
@@SimplyAlwaysAwakeThank you Angelo 🙏🥰🤍
More videos like this and I don't need Enlightment,,,,,Thank you
I like the word morphing, things are just morphing constantly
Angelo - Do you experience physical pain differently since awakening?
Yes. In one sense it’s more clear and direct, but it also is not a problem now.
@SimplyAlwaysAwake Presumably due to a lack of resistance. Resistance to pain/discomfort leads to suffering, allowing and accepting pain leads to freedom.
@@infinitenothingness - I would agree with this as I have found that if I do the opposite of resistance, and really lean into pain as hard as I can, it diminishes. I don’t know how that works, but if I am hyper-aware of it and hyper-feel it, it always diminishes to a very bearable point.
@@SimplyAlwaysAwake - This is interesting. As I stated below replying to Infinite Nothingness, I have found that if I do the opposite of resistance, and really lean into pain as hard as I can (be hyper-aware and hyper-feeling), it diminishes. But…I know that pain can be so great that one loses consciousness. I also know that pain can go on for so long and so intensely that the body can come to a point it cannot take any more. I suppose this is extreme, but I watched my sister go through this with intersticial cystitis for a while and they could not manage her pain and I was extremely concerned for her as it was getting to a point where it was literally unbearable for her. Pain can be intense enough for long enough that killing oneself becomes an option to consider. Thankfully, she was able to figure some things out with diet for herself that began to give her relief. I would think that even being in the awakened state has limits with physical pain, but I wouldn’t know.
@@Hermetic7 I might suggest looking into how that experience with your sister has affected you. That can be traumatic to go through and shape your perceptions of pain and pain stayed at a deep level. Just a suggestion.
❤🙏☮ Thanks
What happens to the world, and all the people in it, when my separate self/body dies?
The appearance of it as well as all of your memories, understanding, knowledge and experience will be obliterated 😊
Jonny Chaos Thought story,there isn't a world,and people in it,or a separate self or a body that dies
@@SimplyAlwaysAwake He sort of asked two different questions in one. Which one did you answer? I assume the separate self one.
What you describe sounds like freedom. If I could press a button to achieve that I would. This life is nothing but suffering. Absolutely nothing else.
@@SimplyAlwaysAwake i mean will others' experiences still remain in existence or does everything die with me. It used to terrify me the thought, but I was seeing it from a solipsistic point of view. The deeper I go the easier it is to accept
@@JonnyChaos Think of it this way. Have you ever been present when another person dies? If you have and you didn’t disappear then you have your answer. 150k people die each day but your universe doesn’t cease to exist every time that happens right?
Do you ever miss your ego Angelo?? Or the life you used to have before realization? I already miss my younger years and imagine I would miss my character if I ever reached the level you're at..
I don't miss things lol kinda odd I know.
🙏🙏🙏
...isness