ไม่สามารถเล่นวิดีโอนี้
ขออภัยในความไม่สะดวก
#1 Subconscious Belief Narcissists Plant In YOU That's Hard To Remove
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ส.ค. 2024
- Enrollment In The Thrivers School of Transformation IS OPEN until 2/5
Are you ready to start doing the inner work to break free of the side effects of cptsd and narcisistic abuse?? Join us now while the doors are open!
If you are unable to meet live weekly - you may be interested in some of our past video courses:
NEW COURSE: REPARENTING AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: www.michelelee...
REBALANCE NERVOUS SYSTEM AFER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE $79.00: www.michelelee...
FREE I Miss Me & Want Me Back Fillable PDF: www.michelelee...
VIDEO COURSE $79.00: Overcome Trauma Induced Codependency
www.michelelee...
WORKSHOP $79.;99: HOW TO PROCESS & RELEASE PAST ANGER AND RESENTMENT
www.michelelee...
☕ If you'd like to show me some love and say thank you for my videos by buying me a coffee, visit my Ko-fi page:
ko-fi.com/mich...
#narcissisticabuserecovery #cptsdrecovery #complexptsdrecovery #lifecoach #emotionalhealing #childhoodtraumarecovery #thriversschooloftransformation #traumarecovery #narcissisticvictimsyndrome #complexptsd #emotionalhealth #mentalhealth #personaldevelopment
#1 Subconscious Belief Narcissists Plant In YOU That's Hard To Remove
Today I want to talk about the number one belief that narcissists love to put inside of you. They love to have this belief become very well ingrained in your subconsicous. I really want to know what you guys think about this. I'm going to tell you a story on my road to recovery on my own journey to heal and when I went to get help I said something to the person that was helping me - I was like look I'm here because I'm screwed up there's something wrong with me I need help. I was convinced one hundred percent that there was a problem that there was something wrong but I was also convinced that there was something wrong with me so in this video I want to talk about how this is one of the narcissists favorite things to convince people of Im going to talk about why that's so damaging and most importantly I want to talk about what you can do about it. That's where narcissistic abuse meets complex ptsd recovery so watch to the end for tips that help.
negative beliefs that narcissists instill, narcissists teach you to hate, narcissistic victim syndrome, how narcissists change you, how narcissists control you, adult children of narcissists, healing from childhood ptsd, healing from childhood trauma, complex ptsd after narcissistic relationships
I've thought of myself as deeply defective as long as I can remember. The idea that I might not be is kinda mind-blowing, as well as just amazing.
Ugh. I was talking on the phone with my (narcissistic) mother yesterday and she was trying to use shame to manipulate me. Nope. Not today, Satan.
Tremendous amounts of self-compassion are needed in our healing journey and for many of us it is counter intuitive as we have been shamed and programmed into believing that self love, self compassion and even self care are selfish and vain and sinful, so we need conscious effort to act contrary to those subconscious beliefs. It feels so great to step forward on the healing journey. Thank you for your help and support.
So true !
💞
Yes see yourself from the view above... Cultivate contentment...
Its so true
Ironically, my dad (who is a narc) gave me this same advice years ago. After my ex-narc discarded me for new supply, I asked my dad, "What's wrong with me?!" He replied, "What makes you think something is wrong with YOU and not him?" It was a total lightbulb moment! 💡
Father narcissist...when separated a man narcissist my father said " one must not stay with someone like that" ..my mother walked on my side..she didn't say anything and I could feel her feelings!! Like.. but he is the same! 😥
@@LION-on4gd It's interesting how our narc fathers are the ones who could see these traits in the men we dated, but not see it in themselves. 🤔
@@LION-on4gd child emotional incest
They recognise each other, for sure. My malignant narc mum did the same. "Don't let him pressure you!" she said. She noticed a malignant narc was forcing himself upon me, pressuring me to visit him and into letting him visit me, when I obviously did not want to. Right after she tried to force me to cook dinner for her in my home, because I had told her that that particular week I had cancelled all appointments to focus on an online class I was taking ... I finally managed to keep her out, but she exhausted me to the point where I was not able to focus on the class. Which, of course, was exactly what she wanted. I kept hearing her words in my head as she ran this crazy "inviting herself" campaign ... "Don't let him pressure you". I think perhaps part of that is that they don't want to loose their prey to other predators. It also makes them look "caring". They will indeed talk about it to others and brag about how they "warned" us.
My narc mom's favorite saying....I say these things for your own good.....as she puts me down while she creates illusions on how wonderful everyone else is
The malignant narcissist I divorced is master at gaslighting and projecting his shame and blame onto his victims.
He decides for you how you’re feeling , thinking, seeing, eating, watching, listening to, your reality and truth that he reframes into his false narratives.
He projects his inner shame and insecurities by pretending he cares wrapping his insults in a “caring” statement
I had one last narcissist boyfriend in the 90s who tried to tell me I wasn't quite right in many ways. By that time, I didn't buy it. I didn't believe he lived me. Come to find out he was on antidepressants and his wife finally left him for his best friend. She called me a warned me that her therapist said he was a very dangerous man. I was scared. I was very lucky though. He inherited 100k and left me. He had me arrested once. I had to stay in jail for the weekend.
I could go on and on but I was only with him for one year. Gaud, was I lucky, so lucky. He made me aware though of how dangerous the wrong relationship can be. He was extremely covert.
When your in your 40s, there is no one that's gonna bail you out. You have to figure it out and never do it again. My mother was a religious narcassist and I couldn't do anything right. She hated everything about me. I was very lucky to have my fathers approval or I doubt I be writing this right now. I'd probably be dead. My father approved of me so I knew I was lovable to some people.
I had to leave religion because, I always felt like something wrong with me because I was constantly told I was going to hell if I ask questions or show emotions other than happiness. I had to be fake or I was labeled as being a person going to hell.
Religious narcs are such killjoys😔
That must have been a creepy church you were going to.
I so identify with this! You have described it all so well..."making you sick and providing the cure". Thanks for saying that it takes time and a lot of self compassion to heal. We can start to think maybe it was us if we can't heal fast enough after leaving the narcissists..
So true… had that running for years and years. Always asking myself, “what is wrong with you”. Sincerely trying to figure it out . I’m out of the Horrid marriage thank heavens.
Michelle this is your most significant video so far. Please do more like this around the idea of non-stop invalidating, and using this to draw into a conflict where they can continue to invalidate. I don't think I spoke a single sentence in my entire history with them that wasn't interrupted and invalidated, unless the rare case they were trying to kiss up, then they would just pretend to listen. Literally nearly 100% of sentences interrupted before first breath and simply invalidated, hijacked, words put in mouth, turned around, or deliberately and blatantly misinterpreted, all used in some way to cast dispersion or shame. Thanks for all your work. You're one of the best coaches I've come across.
I agree totally Frank
my experience the same
ocasionally hear "everyone wants you well"
sneak me off to shrinks
great video by michelle
Totally! The narcissist used to tell me over and over "there's something wrong with you"! Each time she said that my self-esteem was dealt another blow and eventually my self-esteem was crippled! It really sucked and was really cruel! I wonder if she was projecting some of her own insecurities about her own sanity or problems that she was having! 😱
There are moments when this feeling still creeps up. I'm adopted by a biological family member and all my life, I've been told that I have exhibited some of the negative behaviors of my biological mother.
My biological mother abandoned me and clearly my adoptive parents do not thing much of her (rightfully so). You can imagine the affect that has had on me throughout the years.
I've done a lot of work to improve my self-worth and "there is something wrong with me" is still a struggle.
Keep at it. You are very worth it. And have always been. I'm sorry for what you've experienced
that has been very childish from your foster mam!
Im very sorry for you🤗
I was abandoned and neglected abused and now scapegoated since I spoke up and out. I had lost my whole network and family because of these disfunctional family dynamics. And the worst is not many people understand still. So it feels lonely. I think many do not read the books 🤔
Im also in ACA adultchildren this is great!
It makes me suicidal thinking about how stuck I feel… just the force of the emotional flashbacks and regression is astounding…. I feel so handicapped and what makes it even worse is when everything appears fine on the outside like I had the perfect family… exactly like you said the toxic bottle replaced with a loving label… so lost
Damn. It's going to be hell trying to rewire my brain. It'll be worth it to get back to who I am, but this is going to be serious work.
Every single time I listen to Michelle it helps me. She is the best person that I've ever heard speak about a narcissistic parent. She is spot-on in every aspect. Very knowledgeable and very clear. Thank you Michelle.
She makes it so very clear
The funny thing is now at 59 if there was something wrong- I went to therapy to get well and finally realized the covert narcissist was the problem. It just shouldn’t have taken 30 years of bad relationships
ive had same experience Paula
now 63 so many bad or no relationships
good luck
Yeah, it should feel good that your therapist tells you that nothing is wrong with you, but then it’s like “Ok, then now what?” Lol, I feel like a field day for a psychiatric professional. However, they don’t. 😂A friend of mine told me that there’s nothing wrong with me, there’s something right with me. He said I’m not cracking up, I’m cracking out.😂
Me too. I’m 49. Leaving my narcissistic partner. Every day telling me I’m not good enough. I’m done. 27 years. But I’m going to have a good rest of my life
Wow! This a powerful video! This IS my life experience. I understand in my head all the ways I was hurt, but the cerebral understanding doesn’t heal the trauma. The CPTSD must be looked at and healed separately. Understanding isn’t enough.
Yup, it’s been almost 5 years no contact and my counselor asked me a few months ago why I believed there was something wrong with me…still sorting through the steps!
Yes, I spent my entire childhood thinking something was wrong with me and that I did not measure up to my father’s expectations.
This is what I’ve been getting most of my life. “There’s something wrong with you” and “you need therapy” she’s been giving me for years. The only reason I slowly recovered over the years is because she moved abroad and had little contact. My mums arguments became so crazy I decided to agree to therapy because I realised I don’t think any therapist worth their salt would believe that I was the problem. I was right.
I started feeling like something was wrong when I was married.. She wanted me to go to counseling. Come to find out my intuition was right she was having affairs.
I HAD to watch this video. The statements in the thumbnail are so incredibly spot on for me. I’m more than seven years away from a narcissistic marriage, yet these thoughts still run in the background, like malware that I don’t know how to remove.
This I how I started therapy also, to "fix what was wrong with me", then I learned more than I ever wanted to know about narcissism
A lot wrong with me but I’m pretty much okay when I’m watching your videos 😊
Ditto!
Watching Michele talk gives me the feeling of “oh my god, someone actually gets me!” And for a little while I feel okay. I’m training my body to know that it’s ok. We’re ok.
My mom told me I was a bad kid. I was a straight A student and tried to never need anything from her, which was easy because she was never around. Then she remarried and this piece of shit became the absolute dicktator of my life. She knew it was fucked up but did nothing because he was wealthy and she had her meal ticket. A truly sickening person she is. She texts me every so often to tell me how much she loves me and it makes me sick. I just respond with a heart emoji, my version of low contact/grey rock
You sound very nice and sounds like your very good hearted. 👍 blessings to you.
Thank you Michelle for addressing this part of Narcissistic Abuse! Thank you so much for explaining how abuse works!
I totally felt like my ex was my frame of reference for everything I totally had a loss of self and perception. Can you please talk about feeling like an extension of the narcissist? I feel like even when I’m at work it’s like he’s there over my shoulder and everyone I’m talking to knows that what I’m doing and saying isn’t just me it’s not me as a whole. I feel like I am still kinda an extension of him. I feel like the personality traits I hate about him I became and that I don’t own them but I portray them, I hate when I act with his qualities but it’s like I don’t trust me actual self that I like. I self sabotage and act in little ways like him to not make good new relationships in my life..
I relate so much with this video. I lived 17 years with narc mom. And narc nannies. From which 9 my lovely granny was along. I became blind and people pleasing and open to please, practically no perception of malignant humans. Only with a list that I made from books and videos about emotional abuse, techniques narcs use, etc is when I could even create a picture in my mind of what s going on, or better yet, why I feel so numb, or depressed or lack of life. All those years in childhood made me blind. Sometime I have to write the abuse technique or the consequence again and again even 2 minutes later....because i forgot again...that s how dangerous gaslighting in childhood can be
My ex tried to convince me for years by telling me exactly this. Guess what staying in therapy showed me and helped me see past her B's.
This actually makes so much sense now. I was always asking myself why this kept happening . This video brought me to a realization.Thank you for this 💕
This is a really valuable video, well done. And accurate. Ive really struggled getting out of these stuck worthlessness feelings.
If the parents keep saying how much work and trouble they are having in raising the kids, are forcing the kids to work for them and not show what they need so they don´t see so much unhappiness.
I 💛 this picture of you, like an Angel 😇 I found your videos just at the Nick of time, b4 I lost my mind, ty so much, I’m getting better day by day👼🏽🙏🏾
It is vital to deactivate those detrimental subconscious patterns which narcisists programmed us with. Thank you❤
Yes...I said the same thing..but I had confusion about it bc it was suddenly after years of knowing him, I became all these horrible things and had so many issues..I went to therapy for issues, it turns out, I didn't truly have! But..I discovered some issues I wasn't aware of that led me down this path of having this happen for so so long.
My X was raised in a toxic family life. I have seen red flags. I didn't judge her. I knew what I was getting into. I had my own trust issues of women making promises they fail to keep. My X knew this. In any case, my X left me for a rebound guy after a few years together. I wasn't surprised. What goes around eventually comes around
So many light bulbs going off. I listen to many experts on narcissism, and each have unique insights, but am really enjoying listening to your insight especially as I am trying to understand my childhood and negative self beliefs and how not to affect my children as I need to help them become resilient with their father's toxic family dynamic (I'm the current scapegoat/truth teller). Thank you so much! ❤❤
I have realized what I went through growing up was trauma. I never realized this
Lord this is exactly right. Thank you
YOU WERE RIGHT about that first part IN A WAY. Narcs AND Co-Deps are SURELY personality disordered, just in the equal opposite ways. Of coarse I am just starting this video AND WHAT YOU ARE REFERRING TO< is the fact that the narc is surely going to peg EVERYTHING on you. Another way to look at it is like EVERYTHING is perfect. You are the creator of this reality 100% and so therefore both you and the narc ARE perfect as well. You both have strengths and weaknesses. I am basing A LOT of this on Matrix Theory, which has TONNES of preachers which basically only tell half the truth about it all. Yet you can take many of those half truths and start to build them into a coherent whole. So again, remember how the narc IS YOUR tool/teacher, assisting you into full empath-hood. Thank/forgive them (usually quietly for yourself) and move on...then you have truly reached the next level. If you go back, then you surely will require more lessons, so remember this final part here. Move ON, be strong!
What do you do when they convince their husband something is wrong with you an stand offish when you want to great them in a positive way. You are spot on. Thank you.
I spent most of my life thinking I was fundamentally flawed, as in damaged goods, not a person with flaws, but that I was broken. I never had a long-term relationship because I thought that once people got to know me, they'd call it off anyway, so why bother? Thoughts like, "Why would they date YOU when there are so many other options?" were standard for me. I dated a few people and it always wound up verbally, and once physically, abusive.
You explain all aspects of Truma bond and dependent and importance of being independent in every way
I Think to myself all the time, that I'm glad that I have great self esteem because she does all she can to kill my self esteem. If I was even a small percent how bad and terrible she says I am, I would be a really bad person. I can't imagine if I had low self value and combine it with the regular crazy, then the extreme crazy. I can understand why some people do what they do. (I used to be a cop, dealing with domestics, I always attempted to see if there was narc abuse before I made any conclusions)
Yes! I went through this and am on a healing path
Never doubt you are worthy of love and happiness
There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just holding on to a dead thing. The narcissist is a dead thing. Your loyalty to the dead parent/ partner is admiral but you have to let go. Don’t let them pull you into the grave. They have no positive emotions. They are the living dead.
Dayum
💯
So true I've been thinking similarly although my description was that they have no real emotions, so it makes me feel less guilty about hiding my resources from them which will be my rope or ladder out of this lonely tower.
Every person here has a wound. # how we respond determine results
The narcissist is dead, there is a mind and a physical body but there is nothing there. I’m sure you have seen the blackness in their eyes. She told me she’s black on the inside. There is no one there lol so creepy starring into something like that.
Wow, this video was really a blessing, God bless you, I was talking to God about this today, and was sharing how I love how your videos aren't just educational, but you speak things from your heart, like there is care and nurture present, and I was so grateful in prayer about that, and a lot of thanks to you as well ❤️❤️
Funny - poor Mom!
My Mom would say at certain times - Roberta - you’re cold - go put a sweater on. I’d say - I’m not cold. She would later repeat it again.
One day I connected the dots. I got up, went into my bedroom, got a sweater and gave it to her. She was the one who was cold!!!
Once she connected the dots - she didn’t repeated the pattern.
What a riot!
I have the opposite problem. I think something is wrong with me so I end up with constant anxiety and physical feelings that I’m unwell. No idea what can be done about that though.
Unworthy of love, friendship
I was told this by one of the best human beings I have ever known. I feel so worthless, unable to connect, don't want to be a burden on others, defective somehow, if not a positive effect on others then don't want to expose anyone else to the misery of me, so lonely , so sad, but that is the way it is and i accept it, better off alone and everyone else better off without me in their life - i stay isolated and alone and have not connected with anyone in years.
This was very helpful, thank you.
How my mom turned into a narcissist ➡️ My mom was the youngest of 4, my grandpa was a stay at home dad and my grandma was the provider (by default-- she didn't want to). My grandma divorced my grandpa very bitterly when my mom was 9 and my grandpa ended up passing away the next year due to stomach cancer. My grandma hated my grandpa so much she never allowed her kids to mourn him, she never allowed good things to be said about him or let them express sadness. My mom's dad's death, combined with my grandma's emotional inability and neglect created 3/4 narcissists in her children.
Conditioning that leads to self sabotage.
Yes 👍🏻 I did
Michel am so sceard i surranded to gaslighting and blame me to be scapegout am so afraid to speak up Nd the laughing and bulling me and trigger my childhood wouns and belittle me were do i begin .
Yes I felt brainwashed. Until one day I was like wait what, do I even want to be doing this. Wow. I am going to therapy. You made me feel and urgency too get help. Thank you.
I'm very grateful of your videos. Will take a while to get the insight of all, but it'll be done. Thank you a lot
Wow that’s good 💝
Thank you, this video was the key to open a door I've been stuck at for a very long time. God bless you.
My husband does that with the temperature all of the time 😲
Excellent video!! Great explanation of concepts!!
You are so explaining everything well!
Im very thankfull and inspired. Im just wondering why I still seem to be stuck. I also want to work as a coach but Im still stuck, affraid, lazy, I don't know. Im studyīng and have my session today. Im happy the veil is lifting for many. Im also with ACA and do my service...thank you Michele and well done!
Youve done lot's of work and help our world to become brighter.
I think the pup in the background is the literal example of what you are referring too. In his animal brain, he’s feeling neglected and not loved while ‘mommy’ is working. Even acts out due to the ‘emotional neglect.’ And isn’t this how nuanced our human needs are?!
Michelle, this lesson was off the chain! Thank you for all that you do.
This is all so new to me ,im really messed up both body and mind feel like im dying is that normal
It is, unfortunately :(. You do feel like you're dying and that you're a lifeless thing just doing basic human chores. You feel like a shell. This is testimony of the damage these narcs do to us. But that is why we must break free from this mental, emotional and psychological prison and actively seek trauma recovery. There is no other way. Coz if we don't deal with the poison they've inflicted on us, it'll only get worse with time. Take care. I hope you feel better soon.
Feel same 😞
@@TexasRain45 sorry your feeling it to nobody should have to
@@brettcurtis232 aww well thank you 🙏 I have been involved with their kind my whole life and it’s almost took me down, but I’m going to make it if it’s the only thing I can do. I’m sorry you are new to this that’s terrible to suddenly be traumatized by their kind. I pray things get better. Just remember now is not forever honey.
@@TexasRain45 me too...its getting a who;e lot worse..i dont l know if finding out about them was good or bad seems like everyone i know is betraying me daily i just lost the last two people i cared about today ..dont know what to do really..
Thank you for this video 💛
Really accurate
I really resonated with this Michele. Thank you.❤️👍
Thank You for all this survival information❣️ So happy for you that you came out from it and all the way to heal and then helping us so many outside there!! What was the clic?! to understand that something was wrong..Seen the explications about separation with children..the strategy to have in justice etc...Really appreciate your natural way of explaining with a lot of hart and a peaceful voice...woman myself gone through this but my mother was an empath as me and the father a narcissist..older brother the golden child..half of my life abroad.. take care❣️🕊
Worth it 👌
Something wrong with me my siblings always say me 😞
Yes they ask me how i am my inner child get happy finilly they care and then i teel and get critezez and iignoord then a oåen of hope .Dont know how a answer what a answer .so desperated
It takes one to know one.
Exacly. There is someting wrong with us. I have narcs i my life. Apsolutely.
Thank u .
No one doesn't give them the authority
Is very sick and deep 😕
7:43
10:09
10:44
14:04
Thank you.
Thank you a go same truma belife and same hurt pver and over and .they say they care and give me food the. Abuse me when i dont want to eat bevurse am hurt they turn aroun ans ypu decide only whant you to eat very cruel said and say to they others we help here and she is not gratufyll .
10:54 wow
Selfbelife so many lies one person juge me for being wrorong then i surch for appral then it got worse i got triggerd and npw everybody belive her itz somthimg wtong with me trapt in a room now
Could you show us your dog, please? 🥳
Geniusthanks
Are these videos OR are members able to participate?
I love it sweet 2:28 ru eating my plants
That was Q xoxo
Everyone thinks like them about you
Those whom don't know Truth will probably fall victim to this video. The Narcissist Pro giving advice, to victims of the same Narcissistic behavior. The Entire explanation was completely insane. Please, for whoever reads this, don't fall victim to this video. God bless.
❤
Why did u ask ur dog "are u eating my plant"? That's abusive. Ur dog doesn't understand property values. U should be concerned about the plant being toxic to ur dog, not whether ur property is being damaged or not. Ur dog 's health should be ur priority, not ur plant. Ur comment was very narcissistic, where their material things are above others' feelings. Shame on u.