Totally unrelated to the topic but I love that you say ‘My dog is barking’ because every time I stop what I’m doing thinking my dog is barking outside 😂 Thank you
It bothers me so much when people misuse the word “gaslighting” I find it to be very disingenuous. What they really want to say is “being deceitful” Or “being manipulative” or “lying” or “being evasive”. I feel like people using the word “gaslighting” is a way to over-emphasize a point while at the same time trying to sound sophisticated. I like using words precisely, we have such a wonderful expansive vocabulary in English, we can find and utilize words as they are meant to be utilized! I don’t know why, but it really bothers me! Just yesterday I literally wrote a comment on another psych video where a woman called in and misused the word “gaslighting” and wrote that someone needs to do a PSA and help people understand the meaning of this word so we can put an end to the misuse. Here it is!!! Thank you Dr Kirk!
Honestly I think it's more about making something sound more insidious to capture how bad it made them feel. The same way calling an abusive partner a narcissist makes them sound like a machiavellen monster over just...a regular human that was abusive. But it's pretty upsetting imo, when I did experience it from an abusive ex and legit thought my brain was broken by the end of the relationship and that my perception of reality wasn't accurate (he was very good at using my adhd symptoms against me). But at the end of the day, my feelings about it don't matter as much as any potential harm misuse of these words might cause.
When I moved cities and was looking for a new GP I had a consultation where I was talking about my treatments etc. I’m diagnosed with narcolepsy since 2020 which make me disabled. When I told her I was narcoleptic, she laughed and said “me too ! I love to sleep !”. I was so so so confused. When I was talking about endometriosis she wasn’t talking “haha my periods hurt so bad too 🤪” so I don’t understand what she thought but it was a weird moment. I’m used to people say to me that they love to nap so maybe they’re narcoleptic also but for a doctor to use it for emphase was… an experience.
@mm56132 Or saying that everyone is 'a little autistic' because everyone has weird and quirky behavior sometimes or in response to hearing that autism is a spectrum disorder. Even saying that someone is 'on the spectrum' as another way of saying they're autistic bothers me sometimes because almost ALL neurodevelopmental conditions and mental illnesses occur on a spectrum.
I’m maybe 30 minutes in, but I can’t stop thinking about the difference between saying something ironically and when you actually have to communicate an issue. A lot of very new productions (film/series) will have teen characters that will say they are triggered, but I think it mostly gets communicated what they mean within the context? So maybe I’m thinking about context and reading between the lines? Idk. I’m just having a thought and I don’t necessarily agree or disagree, and I will continue to listen to the episode now.
What about the word 'safe'? I hear it over/misused all the time. I.e. This person is not safe for me or this conversation isn't safe. Seems like a catchall for something that makes someone uncomfortable when the word implies danger.
Being labeled a unsafe person because of a disagreement sucks. Even more so when you don't have the language to communicate that the label is more harmful than helpful
There are moments , with people who are victims of psychological or emotional abuse , they actually don’t feel safe to express their feelings with their abusers because they know that their words may be twisted and turned back onto them. They don’t feel emotionally safe .
I can’t stand when people misuse the word “I was traumatized” when it comes to trivial things that are not trauma. For example , someone close to me will say “OMG! My lunch leaked and spilled all over me today and I was traumatized !” It really does take away the meaning of trauma for me. Yet, as someone who has been diagnosed with CPTSD I have a hard time accepting the real definition of trauma. I used to think it meant someone that had physical trauma to their bodies , like blunt trauma to the head , or rape or something like that . I often feel like saying that I suffered childhood trauma is too big of a word . I tend to downplay it and say “I had a difficult childhood”. It’s hard for me to associate myself with the word trauma , even though I know that this is my diagnosis.
Such a good point. Sometimes I've heard people teach it with "Big T" and "little t" trauma to make a distinction. CPTSD is like death by a thousand paper cuts. All the little t traumas added together make a giant complex big t trauma. All that to say, using the word to describe a minor inconvenience to make a story more dramatic for your friends still isn't helpful. Why not just say spilling your lunch was annoying or embarrassing? Why do people have to use trauma to describe things that weren't even a little t trauma (let alone a big T trauma).
@@marie4_4I wrote my comment before Dr Honda discussed the word trauma and he did mention the little t and big T . I’ve never heard of it referred to this way. I’m able to relate to that a lot .
Before I knew what a trigger, PTSD, and trauma meant and that I had them, in film class we watched the danish film Festen and the domestic violence scenes left me reeling. I was super disregulated, crying with desperation, and not understanding what was happening to me that entire evening. At the time the term trigger warning was not in use. 4 years later I took a class as a staff member at a university on how to handle student disclosure of SA, and within a few hours of the course starting, I knew something was severely wrong. Cue in major depression, crying almost all of the time, being startled and extra vigilent incredibly often, starting therapy, and trying even a medication. Then I got hit by a car, and all bets were off now. Just walking on a sidewalk and hearing a siren or a car behaving in a weird way, and I’d have a ptsd episode. So ever since, I hate when people say casually that they have ptsd. If I tell someone about it, I often say the full words, to distinguish from the colloquial use of PTSD. I’m much much better now, phew, but still struggle sometimes with side effects from family relational trauma and the occasional minor ptsd reaction. As a result with people using trauma and PTSD colloquially, I did find that people don’t realize the severity of my experiences and symptoms. A friend recommended that I just work out more. This was before the crash, when I’d bike to work and back everyday, swim once or twice a week, and run once a week. Other friends also didn’t understand what I was going through, so I felt quite alone for 2 years or so. At the same time, with more people talking about this stuff, I find that people are more understanding and accepting and helpful on those rare PTSD episodes I get from time to time. Double edged sword?
Kind of related to the overuse of ADHD is the overuse of 'autistic.' Both as a slur/pejorative or a way to describe traits that can reflect autistic-like behaviors, but might not necessarily be due to autism. Although the former as far as what I observe, seems to be less frequent now. I had actually been wondering recently if there was some ultimate clinical psychological terms handbook or encyclopedia like what medical doctors have when they come across a condition they've never heard of before. That's kind of surprising that there is none for psychology!
Around 1:55:07 and 38:00 ; I have a very different experience 😂. I mainly hear dissociation described as a very broad and vaguely defined experience that everyone likely has or will experience. I’m not even sure if I can think of how that word might be gate kept. I think I actually see it being used more and more as a replacement for other things, such as psychosis like state - especially if the person don’t know a lot about it (which is interesting because dissociation has often suited the situation quite well and it’s hard to argue against the word usage due to how broad it is). The potential gate keeping I see is when we discuss diagnosis, which more is a discussion about what your treatment person say and if you are faking your diagnosis or not.
Recently a content creator I like did an interview and afterwards said something like "I answered that question too autistically". There was a long discussion in the comments trying to decide if he was actually autistic or not. People kept pointing to other clips, but in each clip he was mentioning autism in passing and you could interpret it as the way people use it on the internet instead of the actual meaning. Turns out he does actually have autism, but we had to go back through many clips to find one where it was clear he wasn't joking. 😅
Language is complex and the meaning of words is constantly evolving, especially in the English language that has less rules than others. The word bipolar literally means two poles or two sides (I’m using the word literally, literally 😂) so if someone sees a person behaving in two different ways over time, is it really wrong to use the word bipolar? I have bipolar disorder myself, so I’m not a fan of people misunderstanding the disorder, but the word itself may be accurately used to describe someone with erratic behavior. I don’t know. There are bipolar neurons (because they have two poles) that have nothing to do with bipolar disorder 😅 In a different lens, it really bothers me the use of the word organic to refer to certain foods/produce grown without fertilizers, because all food is organic, unless you are eating rocks 😂
You mention in this episode that having access to clinical literature databases to be able to thoroughly research and understand these clinical terms is expensive if you aren't currently in academic study as a student or professor. Do you think a move to make these accessible through a person's career and to encourage further study throughout life, so that people can continue their individual research would help clinicians be more well rounded and up to date with their knowledge? I know most clinicians continue to learn throughout their life, but it's difficult to keep up with. I work as an advocate and I get paid so little, I guess my hope would be that knowledge would be less behind a paywall in general but I think that's my socialist lense haha
Not to burst your socialist bubble lol but I’m a scientist in biomedicine and to publish in an open access journal (making the articles free of charge) the author has pay thousands of dollars. It’s a very unfair system. And usually making an article open access doesn’t offer much benefit to the general public because they are written in a way that unless you are trained to digest, it’s hard to follow. I don’t know what the solution is tbh
@AurorasWindow In England there is a push from clinicians and educators to allocate a portion of research funding specifically for open access publication, managed by academic institutes, libraries and research councils, without charging fees to authors! Research funded by public money should belong to the public, not private entities or paywalled journals. My want would be for us to prioritise free access to research in our funding as a whole, rather than have individual researchers bear the burden of the cost.
Your content is like a warm hug! Sending appreciation from the UK!
That's a sweet comment
Totally unrelated to the topic but I love that you say ‘My dog is barking’ because every time I stop what I’m doing thinking my dog is barking outside 😂 Thank you
00:33--Triggering
33:17--Trauma
48:57--OCD
49:53--Self-Care
56:36--Imposter phenomenon (or syndrome)
1:02:08--Bipolar
1:02:51--Gaslighting
1:19:19--Narcissist
1:32:52--ADHD
1:33:53 --Sociopath
1:44:22--Abuse
1:45:57--Grooming
1:48:58--Intrusive thoughts
1:53:18--Dissociate
1:55:36--Mania
1:56:53--Love bombing
2:06:44--Anti-social
It bothers me so much when people misuse the word “gaslighting” I find it to be very disingenuous. What they really want to say is “being deceitful” Or “being manipulative” or “lying” or “being evasive”. I feel like people using the word “gaslighting” is a way to over-emphasize a point while at the same time trying to sound sophisticated.
I like using words precisely, we have such a wonderful expansive vocabulary in English, we can find and utilize words as they are meant to be utilized! I don’t know why, but it really bothers me!
Just yesterday I literally wrote a comment on another psych video where a woman called in and misused the word “gaslighting” and wrote that someone needs to do a PSA and help people understand the meaning of this word so we can put an end to the misuse. Here it is!!! Thank you Dr Kirk!
Honestly I think it's more about making something sound more insidious to capture how bad it made them feel. The same way calling an abusive partner a narcissist makes them sound like a machiavellen monster over just...a regular human that was abusive.
But it's pretty upsetting imo, when I did experience it from an abusive ex and legit thought my brain was broken by the end of the relationship and that my perception of reality wasn't accurate (he was very good at using my adhd symptoms against me). But at the end of the day, my feelings about it don't matter as much as any potential harm misuse of these words might cause.
When I moved cities and was looking for a new GP I had a consultation where I was talking about my treatments etc. I’m diagnosed with narcolepsy since 2020 which make me disabled. When I told her I was narcoleptic, she laughed and said “me too ! I love to sleep !”. I was so so so confused. When I was talking about endometriosis she wasn’t talking “haha my periods hurt so bad too 🤪” so I don’t understand what she thought but it was a weird moment. I’m used to people say to me that they love to nap so maybe they’re narcoleptic also but for a doctor to use it for emphase was… an experience.
let's not forget about "you're so AUTISTIC" to someone who's quirky, weird or just to bully them... as a diagnosed autistic myself, I hate is so much
Yes it’s ridiculous
@mm56132 Or saying that everyone is 'a little autistic' because everyone has weird and quirky behavior sometimes or in response to hearing that autism is a spectrum disorder. Even saying that someone is 'on the spectrum' as another way of saying they're autistic bothers me sometimes because almost ALL neurodevelopmental conditions and mental illnesses occur on a spectrum.
I’m maybe 30 minutes in, but I can’t stop thinking about the difference between saying something ironically and when you actually have to communicate an issue. A lot of very new productions (film/series) will have teen characters that will say they are triggered, but I think it mostly gets communicated what they mean within the context? So maybe I’m thinking about context and reading between the lines? Idk. I’m just having a thought and I don’t necessarily agree or disagree, and I will continue to listen to the episode now.
Yeah, it's certainly not "misuse" when something is used jokingly.
What about the word 'safe'? I hear it over/misused all the time. I.e. This person is not safe for me or this conversation isn't safe. Seems like a catchall for something that makes someone uncomfortable when the word implies danger.
Being labeled a unsafe person because of a disagreement sucks. Even more so when you don't have the language to communicate that the label is more harmful than helpful
There are moments , with people who are victims of psychological or emotional abuse , they actually don’t feel safe to express their feelings with their abusers because they know that their words may be twisted and turned back onto them. They don’t feel emotionally safe .
I can’t stand when people misuse the word “I was traumatized” when it comes to trivial things that are not trauma. For example , someone close to me will say “OMG! My lunch leaked and spilled all over me today and I was traumatized !” It really does take away the meaning of trauma for me.
Yet, as someone who has been diagnosed with CPTSD I have a hard time accepting the real definition of trauma. I used to think it meant someone that had physical trauma to their bodies , like blunt trauma to the head , or rape or something like that . I often feel like saying that I suffered childhood trauma is too big of a word . I tend to downplay it and say “I had a difficult childhood”. It’s hard for me to associate myself with the word trauma , even though I know that this is my diagnosis.
Such a good point. Sometimes I've heard people teach it with "Big T" and "little t" trauma to make a distinction. CPTSD is like death by a thousand paper cuts. All the little t traumas added together make a giant complex big t trauma. All that to say, using the word to describe a minor inconvenience to make a story more dramatic for your friends still isn't helpful. Why not just say spilling your lunch was annoying or embarrassing? Why do people have to use trauma to describe things that weren't even a little t trauma (let alone a big T trauma).
@@marie4_4I wrote my comment before Dr Honda discussed the word trauma and he did mention the little t and big T . I’ve never heard of it referred to this way. I’m able to relate to that a lot .
@@hannahaguirre2972 I also commented before he got to that point. I'm glad he mentions it! ☺
I like this! Thank you for educating us about the terms people commonly misuse. It’s also fun to listen to ✅
Before I knew what a trigger, PTSD, and trauma meant and that I had them, in film class we watched the danish film Festen and the domestic violence scenes left me reeling. I was super disregulated, crying with desperation, and not understanding what was happening to me that entire evening. At the time the term trigger warning was not in use. 4 years later I took a class as a staff member at a university on how to handle student disclosure of SA, and within a few hours of the course starting, I knew something was severely wrong. Cue in major depression, crying almost all of the time, being startled and extra vigilent incredibly often, starting therapy, and trying even a medication. Then I got hit by a car, and all bets were off now. Just walking on a sidewalk and hearing a siren or a car behaving in a weird way, and I’d have a ptsd episode. So ever since, I hate when people say casually that they have ptsd. If I tell someone about it, I often say the full words, to distinguish from the colloquial use of PTSD. I’m much much better now, phew, but still struggle sometimes with side effects from family relational trauma and the occasional minor ptsd reaction.
As a result with people using trauma and PTSD colloquially, I did find that people don’t realize the severity of my experiences and symptoms. A friend recommended that I just work out more. This was before the crash, when I’d bike to work and back everyday, swim once or twice a week, and run once a week. Other friends also didn’t understand what I was going through, so I felt quite alone for 2 years or so. At the same time, with more people talking about this stuff, I find that people are more understanding and accepting and helpful on those rare PTSD episodes I get from time to time. Double edged sword?
Kind of related to the overuse of ADHD is the overuse of 'autistic.' Both as a slur/pejorative or a way to describe traits that can reflect autistic-like behaviors, but might not necessarily be due to autism. Although the former as far as what I observe, seems to be less frequent now.
I had actually been wondering recently if there was some ultimate clinical psychological terms handbook or encyclopedia like what medical doctors have when they come across a condition they've never heard of before. That's kind of surprising that there is none for psychology!
Great topic!
Around 1:55:07 and 38:00 ; I have a very different experience 😂. I mainly hear dissociation described as a very broad and vaguely defined experience that everyone likely has or will experience. I’m not even sure if I can think of how that word might be gate kept. I think I actually see it being used more and more as a replacement for other things, such as psychosis like state - especially if the person don’t know a lot about it (which is interesting because dissociation has often suited the situation quite well and it’s hard to argue against the word usage due to how broad it is). The potential gate keeping I see is when we discuss diagnosis, which more is a discussion about what your treatment person say and if you are faking your diagnosis or not.
NEEDED!!!!!!!!!!!
Would it be too passive aggressive to send this video to friends who weaponize therapy talk? 😅
Recently a content creator I like did an interview and afterwards said something like "I answered that question too autistically".
There was a long discussion in the comments trying to decide if he was actually autistic or not. People kept pointing to other clips, but in each clip he was mentioning autism in passing and you could interpret it as the way people use it on the internet instead of the actual meaning. Turns out he does actually have autism, but we had to go back through many clips to find one where it was clear he wasn't joking. 😅
Aaah I am going to LOVE this❤
In this house we play pictionary with Playdoh.
Language is complex and the meaning of words is constantly evolving, especially in the English language that has less rules than others. The word bipolar literally means two poles or two sides (I’m using the word literally, literally 😂) so if someone sees a person behaving in two different ways over time, is it really wrong to use the word bipolar? I have bipolar disorder myself, so I’m not a fan of people misunderstanding the disorder, but the word itself may be accurately used to describe someone with erratic behavior. I don’t know.
There are bipolar neurons (because they have two poles) that have nothing to do with bipolar disorder 😅
In a different lens, it really bothers me the use of the word organic to refer to certain foods/produce grown without fertilizers, because all food is organic, unless you are eating rocks 😂
You mention in this episode that having access to clinical literature databases to be able to thoroughly research and understand these clinical terms is expensive if you aren't currently in academic study as a student or professor. Do you think a move to make these accessible through a person's career and to encourage further study throughout life, so that people can continue their individual research would help clinicians be more well rounded and up to date with their knowledge? I know most clinicians continue to learn throughout their life, but it's difficult to keep up with. I work as an advocate and I get paid so little, I guess my hope would be that knowledge would be less behind a paywall in general but I think that's my socialist lense haha
Not to burst your socialist bubble lol but I’m a scientist in biomedicine and to publish in an open access journal (making the articles free of charge) the author has pay thousands of dollars. It’s a very unfair system. And usually making an article open access doesn’t offer much benefit to the general public because they are written in a way that unless you are trained to digest, it’s hard to follow. I don’t know what the solution is tbh
@AurorasWindow In England there is a push from clinicians and educators to allocate a portion of research funding specifically for open access publication, managed by academic institutes, libraries and research councils, without charging fees to authors! Research funded by public money should belong to the public, not private entities or paywalled journals. My want would be for us to prioritise free access to research in our funding as a whole, rather than have individual researchers bear the burden of the cost.
Frememies was Trisha Paytas ❤